Venting
nemo
that's impossible, although I can always vent my packet of Penicillin
tablets instead!"
98% of Nemo.
Len S.
"nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
news:OAxub.12966$qu....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
Malcolm Hoar
That shows a very limp foresight! You should cell them and hope you
live fer bloody years.
--
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
| Malcolm Hoar "The more I practice, the luckier I get". |
| ma...@malch.com Gary Player. |
| http://www.malch.com/ Shpx gur PQN. |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
nemo
Len S. <len...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:8I2dnYHGkNO...@comcast.com...
I wonder if Microsoft can supply the necessary patch! - minus the virus!
nemo
J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
news:0dhlrv0fkua6qu0v2...@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 18 Nov 2003 18:06:23 -0500, "Len S." <len...@comcast.net>
> found these unused words floating about:
Aha! So that's why my last P.T. teacher called them "Burpees"
> Some need a lift doing them, others just have a windlass.
>
My Pulmonary Emboli left me windlass! Four days on oxygen and Heparin in the
belly last time! I'm still warfarin down those anti-coagulation tablets and
they do seem to be working. I rat them very highly.
nemo
Malcolm Hoar <ma...@malch.com> wrote in message
news:vrn8n45...@news.supernews.com...
> In article <OAxub.12966$qu....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>, "nemo"
<ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:
> >Somebody accused me of venting my spleen yesterday. I replied, "For me,
> >that's impossible, although I can always vent my packet of Penicillin
> >tablets instead!"
>
> That shows a very limp foresight! You should cell them and hope you
> live fer bloody years.
>
your ailments sorted out before you're sixty without dying, you'll probably
live till 90 - and I fully intend to!
Urrrrghgfhghgh!!
(FX: Something heavy hitting floor!)
Omnes: Hoooray!!!!
Malcolm Hoar
>
>Malcolm Hoar <ma...@malch.com> wrote in message
>news:vrn8n45...@news.supernews.com...
>> In article <OAxub.12966$qu....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>, "nemo"
><ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:
>> >Somebody accused me of venting my spleen yesterday. I replied, "For me,
>> >that's impossible, although I can always vent my packet of Penicillin
>> >tablets instead!"
>>
>> That shows a very limp foresight! You should cell them and hope you
>> live fer bloody years.
>>
>A neighbour of mine and her mum who is is a surgeon both say if you get all
>your ailments sorted out before you're sixty without dying, you'll probably
>live till 90 - and I fully intend to!
Ewe'll be a pun gent by then.
nemo
> In article <U0Qub.27959$qu.1...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>, "nemo"
<ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:
> >
> >Malcolm Hoar <ma...@malch.com> wrote in message
> >news:vrn8n45...@news.supernews.com...
> >> In article <OAxub.12966$qu....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>, "nemo"
> ><ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:
> >> >Somebody accused me of venting my spleen yesterday. I replied, "For
me,
> >> >that's impossible, although I can always vent my packet of Penicillin
> >> >tablets instead!"
> >>
> >> That shows a very limp foresight! You should cell them and hope you
> >> live fer bloody years.
> >>
> >A neighbour of mine and her mum who is is a surgeon both say if you get
all
> >your ailments sorted out before you're sixty without dying, you'll
probably
> >live till 90 - and I fully intend to!
>
> Ewe'll be a pun gent by then.
>
it'll be because of the embarmey fluid!
Malcolm Hoar
>
>Malcolm Hoar <ma...@malch.com> wrote in message
>news:vrnsoc5...@news.supernews.com...
>> In article <U0Qub.27959$qu.1...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>, "nemo"
><ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:
>> >
>> >Malcolm Hoar <ma...@malch.com> wrote in message
>> >news:vrn8n45...@news.supernews.com...
>> >> In article <OAxub.12966$qu....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>, "nemo"
>> ><ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:
>> >> >Somebody accused me of venting my spleen yesterday. I replied, "For
>me,
>> >> >that's impossible, although I can always vent my packet of Penicillin
>> >> >tablets instead!"
>> >>
>> >> That shows a very limp foresight! You should cell them and hope you
>> >> live fer bloody years.
>> >>
>> >A neighbour of mine and her mum who is is a surgeon both say if you get
>all
>> >your ailments sorted out before you're sixty without dying, you'll
>probably
>> >live till 90 - and I fully intend to!
>>
>> Ewe'll be a pun gent by then.
>>
>I don't have *asperations* to become a pun gent gent, gent, but if I do,
>it'll be because of the embarmey fluid!
Morgue's the pity, you cad - 'ave a nice life.
nemo
> On Wed, 19 Nov 2003 22:47:43 GMT, ma...@malch.com (Malcolm Hoar) found
> these unused words floating about:
>
<ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:
> >>
> >>Malcolm Hoar <ma...@malch.com> wrote in message
> >>news:vrn8n45...@news.supernews.com...
> >>> In article <OAxub.12966$qu....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>, "nemo"
> >><ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:
> >>> >Somebody accused me of venting my spleen yesterday. I replied, "For
me,
> >>> >that's impossible, although I can always vent my packet of Penicillin
> >>> >tablets instead!"
> >>>
> >>> That shows a very limp foresight! You should cell them and hope you
> >>> live fer bloody years.
> >>>
> >>A neighbour of mine and her mum who is is a surgeon both say if you get
all
> >>your ailments sorted out before you're sixty without dying, you'll
probably
> >>live till 90 - and I fully intend to!
> >
> >Ewe'll be a pun gent by then.
>
>
Butt pill'd down man was counterfeit! You mean these Penicillin tablets are
a forgery??
I had a counterfeit spanner once. Stamped on the side it said, "Forged in
the USA"!
Malcolm Hoar
It was quite a wrench but my VW Beatle once had a Spaniard in the works.
[with apologies to John Lennon]
fre...@webtv.net
Reminds me of a remake of a Springsteen song by one of the guys from
Abba. It was called 'Bjorn in the USA'.....
nemo
fre...@webtv.net
Apologies accepted re: the VW Lemon ~ John
nemo
What's left tov it! Most days it's the semol drudge though.
fre...@webtv.net
Yeah, you learn to muck in with the rest....that soil I can say.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Where is the other 2%?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Venting: Musical opening in a wall.
Vent Ting: Windy Chinese.
Methuselah Jones
of alt.humor.puns make plain:
>
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:409733C6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> You gotta improve your memory, Timmie. It's the missing spleen, and
> I've already toll due a number of times: it's probably in a jar of
> formaldehyde in the labs at the University College Hospital - or by
> now it's probably gone up the incinerator chimney - unless one of the
> docs had it for dinner fried up with chips.
Or with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
--
Methuselah
I used to get high on life but lately I've built up resistance.
J. A. Mc.
<methu...@altgeek.org> found these unused words floating about:
'Snice of him to 'spleen it to us.
Now a little intestinal for t'dude.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Venting: Musical opening in a wall.
Vent Ting: Windy Chinese.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Venting: Musical opening in a wall.
Vent Ting: Windy Chinese.
Tim Bruening
nemo
> Venting: Musical opening in a wall.
>
> Vent Ting: Windy Chinese.
Fructus Ventris: Apples falling out of the air conditioning!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
hu-mi yu wrote:
> On Fri, 03 Sep 2004 08:36:15 -0500, Michael Balarama wrote:
>
> > He was at the end of his rope
>
> And Tom Collins was on the other end of it.
What a knotty problem!
Tim Bruening
Colby: Black bee used as fuel.
Cowell: Healthy bovine.
Kent Drive: Superman at the golf course.
Purdue: Price of morning moisture.
Radcliffe: Radioactive rock formation.
Villanova: Exploding criminal star.
Tim Bruening
Bucker: One dollar dog.
Bucking: One dollar king.
Cent-tinel: A one penny guard.
Cent-Tree: A tree that stands guard, smells nice, and grows pennies.
Center: Penny in the middle.
Centaur: Half man, half horse penny.
Coalescent: A penny that comes together.
Concentric: A one penny target, or against penny tricks, or criminal
penny tricks,
Deficient: A flawed penny.
Docent: A one penny female deer, or a one penny guardian.
Eccentric: Odd behaving penny.
Efficient: A penny with little waste, or a one penny fish on the
Internet.
Magnificent: A wondrous penny.
Omniscient: All knowing penny.
Presence: More than one penny is here.
Prescience: Pennies that know the future.
Proficient: Skilled penny.
Quiescent: Still penny.
Reminiscent: Penny reviewing the past.
Resent: A dissatisfied penny.
Sufficient: An adequate penny.
Sentience: Smart penny.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Santa was being ignored, so he decided to give out cuddly toys only at
> Christmas and covered them with a fabric made of compressed matted
animal
> fibers.
>
> He'd decided to make his presents felt!
Until the time came to deliver them, Santa kept his presents in a safe
deposit box in a Pole Vault in a Snow Bank. To open the box required a
very
special Ice Code. However, he forgot the Ice Code and had to bring in a
spy
out of the cold to Break the Ice Code.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4021D892...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Shakespeare: Vibrating weapon that writes plays.
> >
> > Submachine Gun: Weapon of underwater armies.
>
> Mine!!!
> >
> > Tank: Another weapon of underwater armies.
> >
> > Turnpike: A spinning spear like weapon.
>
> Petard: Captain in Start Wreck and grenade for hanging on a gate that
> everyone and his dog thinks is a spear!
Spearmint: A gum weapon.
Tim Bruening
mike wheeELer wrote:
> In article <4024AEC6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at the world
oddly when:
> >
> >
> >
> >Stan Kegel wrote:
> >
> >> PUNS OF THE WEAK for the week ending: 02-06-04 Part 1 In The News
> >> Bush admitted that his pre-war intelligence wasn't what it should
have
> >> been. We knew that when we elected him! (Jay Leno)
> >
> >But we didn't elect him! He stole the election with help from the
Supreme
> >Court!!!!!!
> >
> There was an election missing? His girlfriend whore a mink stole...
You accuse Bush of adultry?
Stock King: Santa Claus.
Tim Bruening
Command: A computer boss.
Communist: A Red Computer.
Tim Bruening
Holo: A popular prostitute position.:)
Hologram: A picture of same.
Hologram: Message from a low prostitute.
Hologram: Lighter than a Holopound.
Tim Bruening
Deacon: Criminal demon.
Micro: Not your crow.
Microbar: Association of tiny crow lawyers.
Microbar: Where tiny crows get beer.
Microbe: A robe wired for sound.
Tim Bruening
Abduct: To kidnap waterfowl.
Deduct: Demon waterfowl.
Reduct: Quack again.
Subduct: Underwater bird.
Tim Bruening
Redwood: From Communist trees.
Tim Bruening
Return: To spin again.
Review: To see again.
Revolt: To shock again.
nemo
(Beano comic, 1950s.)
nemo
Bossanova: Exploding cosmic cow.
Baleboss: Yiddisher classical dancing cow.
nemo
nemo
Republic, up a mountain.
nemo
Surely a guy as childish as he could only be accused of infantry.
>
> Stock King: Santa Claus.
>
nemo
>
> Command: A computer boss.
>
> Communist: A Red Computer.
>
young.
nemo
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Baleboss, the boat is leaking!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Why not in the Himalayas?
nemo
Ice Coder = High Skoda.
Do a Google on Skoda.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
Then he forgot to put on his thick red suit, went out in the snow and *he*
got Ice Code too in no time . . . hence . .
To the tune of Jingle Bells. . . .
Dashing through the snow - two of his reindeer gone,
Freezing cold his bum - he's got no trousers on!
Get the round done quick - or folks'll see him moon.
Female reindeer scared to death - he's hung like a baboon.
Dingle balls, Dingle balls - got no trousers on.
He don't know quite where they went he only knows they're gone.
Frozen balls, Frozen balls - scared they might fall off!
He's driving very gently now and trying not to cough!
Home nearly in sight - back at the North Pole,
Frozen three-piece-suite - icicles round his hole.
Fire's nice and warm - ev'rything's just thawed -
Next year he'll say sod the sledge and drive his mother's Ford!
Tingle balls, Tingle balls - Circulation's back.
Now he has four rosy cheeks and steam coming from his crack!
Tingle balls, Tingle balls - now they're getting hot.
Now he's pleased he's got warm feet, warm hands, warm legs, warm bot!
Oi!!!!!!
Any excuse folks! Any excuse!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Dougal wrote:
> On Sun, 13 Jun 2004 13:08:36 -0700, Larry Krzewinski
> <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote:
>
> >You'd better stop or I'm going to kick you with my Schumann.
>
> All these composer puns have Strauss-ed me out.
Composer: Music writing knight.
Tim Bruening
Pavel314 wrote:
> I've written a rebuttal play to be performed by men only. I call it
'The
> Viagra Monologues".
I expect it to make the audience RISE!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Mos <Not@YourHouse> wrote in message
> news:10d9cp7...@corp.supernews.com...
>> James King wrote:
>>> In article <7540d0dkplel4c6ko...@4ax.com>,
>>> Dougal <big...@klanmeetings.co.uk> wrote:
>>>
>>>> On Sun, 13 Jun 2004 13:08:36 -0700, Larry Krzewinski
>>>> <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> You'd better stop or I'm going to kick you with my Schumann.
>>>>
>>>> All these composer puns have Strauss-ed me out.
>>>
>>>
>>> After reading these music puns for a while, you get a clef palate.
>>
>> One has to be sharp to keep going with them.
>>
> These puns are suffocating. I can't breve!
You need Ox-ygen (An air draft animal).
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:422421C4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Halting: Bell that stops.
> >
> > Heaping: Pile of male bells.
> >
> > Hefting: A bell that lifts heavy weights.
> >
> > Hosing: Singing hooker.
> >
> > Hooting: Singing owl.
> >
> Well chuck a bucket of cold water over it! Then it'll be too wet to
woo.
How a woosing!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42242454...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Cartoon: A musical car.
> >
> > Karma: My mother the car.
> >
> > Carisma: My mother the hypnotic car!
> >
> > Hoarsepower: Car laryngitis.
> >
> > Monopoly: Parrot that has cornored the market.
>
> What about Dow Corning the market with all those imitation silecone
titties?
Dowsing: The stock market sings of finding water.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4224260C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Incrust: Below the Eath's surface.
> >
> > Infirm: Inside the company.
> >
> > Infirming: Sick vase.
> >
> > Nepotism: Ideology of related pots.
> >
> > Noising: Loud song.
>
> Oising: Yiddisher music.
Causing: A singing crow.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4224341A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41D90278...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Compress: Computer newspaper.
> > > >
> > > > Depress: Sad newspaper.
> > > >
> > > > Express: Failed paper.
> > > >
> > > > Oppress, Repress, and Suppress: Newspapers that follow the party line.
> > > >
> > > > Presley: Korean newspaper.
> > > >
> > > Elvish Presley: Musical Lord of the Rings newspaper.
> >
> > Elfish: L-shaped sea animal eaten by elves and hobbits.
> >
> Hobbits: Very naughty Japanese pictures with the ocean missing.
Why is the female ocean singing?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42243457...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41D902E5...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Panther Wyvern wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Did you know that Sweepea, the name of Popeye's adopted baby is
> > > > actually
> > > > > "Sweet P", short for "Sweet Potato"?
> > > > >
> > > > > Yep, when the child grew up, he was often heard to say the
> following,
> > > > "I yam
> > > > > what I yam... I'm a yam."
> > > >
> > > > Sweet P: Urine of a diabetic.
> > > >
> > > Ain't that the plant that Jesus brought back from the dead? Lathyrus
> > > Odoratus? Well, he would have stunk a bit by then, wooden tea?!
> >
> > Red Sea: Communist ocean.
> >
> Bosphorus: Luminous sea. It's Bosphorescent!
Read Sea: Ocean that's literate.
Literate: Ate garbage (Litter Ate).
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42222955...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:421A8254...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Breaking: King of dancing by spinning on the ground.
> > > >
> > > > Braking: King of stopping.
> > > >
> > >
> > > . . . . or the monarch of making donkey noises.
> >
> > Donkey: Unlocks a Mafia lock.
> >
> Dungking DoUGHnut: Sweet bagel thingey eaten by the owner of the largest
> sewage processing company in the world!
Speedo: Fast female deer, fast money, or fast pastry.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42242C97...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4222F716...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Nestorius wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > What did the clumsy soft thick-bodied North Atlantic fish with
> pelvic
> > > fins
> > > > > fused into a sucker say when he heard that he and his fish-mates was
> > > going
> > > > > to be a part of a fish study?
> > > > >
> > > > > I hope they don't lump us all together
> > > >
> > > > That sounds fishy.
> > >
> > > Stone me!
> >
> > With an Oliver Stone?
> >
> Here the Oliver I'm tall king about, in all his glory! Magnificent piece of
> machinery!
>
> http://homepage.mac.com/sljohnson/typewriter/oliver/Oliver246891.html
>
> Nice to see one in such good condition.
>
> I've got one. Cost me five shillings (25p) at Reg Stone's second-hand stall
> in Inverness Street Market. Not in such good condition though.
>
> You'll like this:
>
> A woman is supposed to have asked Reg how much a particular vase was. He
> replied, "Shillin'!" (5p)
>
> She said, "You fool! It's Ming Dynasty!"
>
> He replied, "OK. Half a Crown then!" (12緘)
>
> If it ain't true, it should have been!
Didn't the Queen object to having her crown sawed in half?
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41265BDB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > War-ming: Hostile Chinese vase or hot Chinese vase.
> >
> > Hostile: Aggressive fence.
> >
> > Fencing: Singing barrier.
>
> Prezoomably, if you're stopped by such a singing barrier, you're
Foiled!
Foil Ling: A Chinese Saber Artist.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:412657E2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4047C83E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Countryside: Murder of a nation.
> > > >
> > > > Countryside. Murder of the environment.
> > >
> > > Suezside: Murder of oneself by jumping into a certain canal.
> > >
> > > Matricide: Murder of one's bed.
> > >
> > > Arabinoside: Putting Osama out of everyone's misery!
> > >
> > > (n. Biochem.
> > > A glycoside of arabinose, esp. any of those used in antiviral
therapy as
> > > structural analogs of ribonucleosides.)
> >
> > Beside: Murder of a bee.
> >
> > Reside: To murder a person twice.
>
> Matricide: Killing a large item of bedding.
Matting: Musical large item of bedding.
Bedding: Musical sleeping place.
Sleeping: Bell with the Zzzzzzs.
Tim Bruening
Serape: A large primate knight.
Sobering: Ring that cures drunkenness.
Soberness: Non drunk Scottish monster.
Soften: 10 Cushy people.
Soleness: One Scottish monster.
Tim Bruening
Analog: Arse of a tree.
Antenna: Ant that communicates at great distances.
Sobriety: Tea that makes you non drunk.
Society: Tea that brings people together.
Sorcerer: Magic making knight who levitates.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Joking: King Joe the first.
Joker: King Joe's dog.
Muffin: Swimming organ of a pastry fish.
Rimmer: Edge of an ocean.
Rimming: Edge of a Chinese vase.
Tim Bruening
Claimer: Ocean of ceramics.
Claiming: Ceramic Chinese vase.
Clammer: Ocean of clams.
Clamming: Chinese vase of clams.
Drummer: Ocean of percussion instruments.
Drumming: Chinese vase of percussion instruments.
Tim Bruening
Dreamer: Ocean of fantasies.
Dreaming: Chinese vase of fantasies.
Fanti-sea: Ocean of dreams.
Tim Bruening
AV: Audio vampire.
C4: Explosive ocean.
CD: Compact demon.
DVD: Demon-vampire recording device.
EB: Electrical bee.
Tim Bruening
Combat: Aggressive electronic flying mammal.
Comcast: A computer play.
Comcast: Computers fishing.
Comfort: Computer military base.
Comfortable: How to say "Come for the bull" quickly.
Tim Bruening
Stan Kegel wrote:
> SPECIALTY PUNS OF THE WEAK for the week ending 03-24-04
> Bestride: using a wild animal as a steed. (Douglas Drill)
Bestride: To ride a bee.
> Gallop Poll: Young Lady sitting on a high post (Rosalie Moscovitch)
A horse in Poland.
A pole on a horse.
Tim Bruening
Defendants: Ants on trial.
Entrant: Ant in a contest.
Fire Ants: Ants who fight fires.
Important: High ranking ant.
Reluctant: An ant that is hard to persuade.
Tim Bruening
Michael Balarama wrote:
"KIMEVANS" <kime...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:q2LVb.49075$Wa.4...@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
>
> "Marmoset" <marm...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:Xns9489E2412B0E...@216.196.97.131...
> > My girlfriend found a new pencil store
> >
> > She lead me right to it
>
> >good move....its easy to lead a horse to water but a pencil has to
be
lead!
she left her mark and to the point-she is a sharp girlfriend
Market: Writing cat.
Marker: Writing dog.
Marking: Writing king.
Tim Bruening
Sheila Dundee wrote:
Jenni Saqua wrote:
> "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
> news:4028cbd0$0$19705$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
>> Dr Tormento wrote:
>>> "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in
>>> news:4028bd3b$0$18303$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au:
>>>
>>>> Pollywolly wrote:
>>>>> Sheila Dundee wrote:
>>>>>> Pollywolly wrote:
>>>>>>> Dr Tormento wrote:
>>>>>>>> Marmoset <marm...@yahoo.com> wrote in
>>>>>>>> news:Xns9489E2412B0E...@216.196.97.131:
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> My girlfriend found a new pencil store
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>> She lead me right to it
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> I don't see the point.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> It was meant 2B'
>>>>>>
>>>>>> You are very blunt :-(
>>>>>
>>>>> I'm not here to get in a graphite.
>>>>
>>>> Well, don't crayon MY shoulder!
>>>
>>> Now, now, don't go off the depenned.
>>
>> Well - just listen to His Nibs !!
>>
> I would :) but there've been some ink credible shrinking posts
(like
> Dr T's) which are showing up only via your replies!
Those of us at the sharpen can't de-scribe how irritating that can be!
Sharpen: Pointy writing instrument.
Pointy: Sharp tea.
Tim Bruening
Harry Farkas wrote:
> "I've finished the commercial for the new tool bench accessory," said Tom
> advisedly.
He hit the nail on the head.
Tim Bruening
Remnant: The ant left over.
Repentant: Remorseful ant.
Resistant: Ant that blocks progress.
Tenant: After 9 ant.
Magnetic: An attractive tic.
Hamfist: To be punched out by a pig.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Timmy <tsbr...@dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:1105330932....@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
>
> Ranting: A bell diatribe.
>
> Questing: Bell on a mission.
>
> Resting: Bell remaining still.
> Fasting: Speedy bell.
>
> Fasting: Bell during Ramadan.
>
Don't take the mickey out of Islam. Eide my warning!
Mickey Mouse: Rodent Key.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Timmy <tsbr...@dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:1105332418.4...@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
>
> Advising: Helpful song.
>
> Advertising: Commercial song.
>
> Amazing: One singing corn field.
>
> Bemusing: Singing bee.
>
> Crossing: A musical religious symbol.
>
> Hissing: Song made by a snake.
>
> Icing: A frozen song.
>
> Massing: A heavy song.
>
> Missing: A girl who can't carry a tune.
>
> Musing: A singing cow or cat or poet.
>
> Passing: A musical mountain path.
>
> Passing: Sung by cars as they pass each other.
> Rising: A song that makes you soar.
>
> Rising: Singing grain.
>
A rye definition.
Riser: Grain dog.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41E20021...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Every time I come onto this group and see the headers download clock up
> > > several hundred new messages, I know it's a case of very bad timming!!
> :o)
> >
> > Timming: A Chinese vase like me?
>
> You're made of ceramic?
No, I don't have clay feet.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41E204B8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > At the crucifiction, the guy next to Christ kept bragging on about
the
> fact
> > > that the Romans had used three times as many nails to pin him up
as they
> had
> > > used on Christ.
> > >
> > > In the end, Christ got fed up and said, "I really wish you'd drop
this
> > > 'Holeyer than thou' attitude!' "
> >
> > In other words, he got Cross!
>
> Till someone snipped the cross-post. Then he fell down right on top of
a
> Centurion. See? Even the Romans had our brilliant tanks!
Centurion: One penny Roman soldier.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
> "Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote
> > >
> > >
> > > "Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Robert Morpheal" <morp...@sympatico.ca> wrote
> > > > > Greg Evans wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Why? She was just gonna bring you your food, is all....
> > > > >
> > > > > My food taster didn't approve of that dish. So she's gone.
> > > > >
> > > > Well there's your problem- if she'd eaten the food instead of the dish
> > > >
> > > > she might still be alive.
> > >
> > > Did she eat a radish or a kaddish or a brandish or a kurdish or a
> > > swedish?
> > >
> > >
> > He was fiendish as he ate the outlandish.
>
> How caddish!
And faddish!
Tim Bruening
Wouter Valentijn wrote:
> Tim Bruening wrote:
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> >> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >> news:4271BF92...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >>>
> >>> "fredm...@the.PC ?Z" wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> "That looks like another Mistake to me", muttered the Doctor after
> >>>> he botched up the breast reduction surgery.
> >>>
> >>> Then he made another Miss Stake: Jamming a sharp piece of wood
> >>> through the heart of a female vamp.
> >>
> >> The female vamp turned out to be a robot - so it was a case of stake
> >> and chips!
> >
> > How do you vamp a robot?
>
> With a vampire upgrade.
How do you upgrade a vampire?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4279CF73...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4271AF8D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > news:3F64D428...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > Event: Ventilation system on a computer or Internet.
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > > Fan Club: Device for smashing same.
> > >
> > > Unless the fan is protected by Fan Mail!
> >
> > You can order that stuff by sending a chain letter.
> >
> > Chain Letter: Used to imprison the mail.
>
> Mail Train: Worn by a knight's bride.
Benight: An apine knight after sundown.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4279E449...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41B4C3A3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Succubus: To suck in an entire mass transit vehicle.
> > >
> > > Omnibus: Travelling.
> > >
> > > Offnibus: Back on foot again.
> >
> > Or back on 30.48 centimeters.
> >
>
> Centimeter: Moving-goyle instrument registering the potency of
> perfumes.
>
> (Sometimes, you lot spelling things wrong comes in handy!)
Handy: Chinese demon.