Poem

[Christopher Kern]

I am looking for a very old poem (parody) that I believe was printed in
mad magazine. It was the one that started:

I remember I remember the cell where we were kept
the little window where the sun came creeping as we slept

If anyone could direct me to someplace where I could find it, I would be
greatly appreciative.

Thanks,
Chris

[Madman86]

I remember reading a poem called "I remember, I remember, the wonderous
woodstock fair" Would this be it?

Christopher Kern wrote in message <36C2780A...@erols.com>...

[Derek Caponigro]

If it was from Mad, it would most likely have been penned by Frank
Jacobs, the undisputed king of poetry parodies. I'll check through some
of his stuff.

The one that Madman86 mentions was reprinted in Frank Jacobs Zaps the
Human Race.

[rom...@i-is.com]

Reply-To: "linda" <rom...@i-is.com>
From: "linda" <rom...@i-is.com>
To: "Christopher Kern" <ati...@erols.com>
Subject: Re: Poem
Date: Sat, 13 Feb 1999 16:11:02 -0500
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It was published in a Mad book of poetry in the70's. I've been looking for
that book myself for The Night Before Xmas. It started; 'Twas the night
before Christmas and all through the gloom, not acreature was stirring,
there just wasn't room...I'm thinking of doing a booksearch on amazon.
Anyway it just so happens that I remember I remember the poem you're
referring to. Here goes!

I remember, I remember,
The cell where I was kept,
The little window where the sun
kept peeping while I slept;
It never came a wink too soon,
Nor brought too long a day,
We needed light to dig a hole
And make our getaway!

I remember, I remember,
How Lefty, Moe and Dave,
Would come with picks and shovels,
And quietly we'd slave.
They stole them from the tool room,
We tunneled 'neath the floor.
We dug from 1946 till 1954!

I remember, I remember,
How we planned that wondrous day,
When we'd come up outside the wall
And make our getaway.
Through all our years of hardship,
Our spirits were not downed,
And then we hit a water pipe,
And very near got drowned.

I remember, I remember,
The warden's anxious call;
To find why all that water
was streaming down the hall!
He called me to his office;
I stood there staunch and brave,
And blamed the whole big bungle,
On Lefty, Moe and Dave!

Can't guarantee that it's completely correct, but that's how I remember it.

[Derek Caponigro]

Here you go, romaine (From "Mad For Better or For Verse" by Frank
Jacobs; illus. by Paul Coker. Original copyright 1968):

_The Night Before Christmas, 1999_ or _St. Nicholas Meets the Population
Explosion_

Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the gloom
Not a creature was stirring;
There just wasn't room;
The stockings were hanging
In numbers so great,
We feared that the walls
Would collapse from the weight!

The children like cattle
Were packed off tho bed;
We took a quick count;
There were three-hundred head;
Not to mention the grown-ups--
Those hundreds of dozens
Of uncles and inlaws
And twice-removed cousins!

When outside the house
There arose such a din!
I wanted to look
But the mob held me in;
With pushing and shoving
and cursing out loud,
In forty-five minutes,
I squeezed through the crowd!

Outside on the lawn
I could see a fresh snow
Had covered the people
Asleep down below;
And up in the sky
What should strangely appear
But an overweight sleigh
Pulled by countless reindeer!

They pulled and they tugged
And they wheezed as they came,
And the red-suited driver
Called each one by name:
"Now Dasher! Now Dancer!
Now Prancer and Vixen!
On Comet! On Cupid!
On Donder and Blitzen!"

"Now Melvin! Mow Marvin!
Now Albert and Jasper!
On Sidney! On Seymour!
On Harvey and Casper!
Now Clifford! Now Max"-
But he stopped far from through;
Our welcoming housetop
Was coming in view!

Direct to our housetop
The reindeer then sped
With the sleigh full of toys
And St Nick at th e head;
And then like an earthquake
I heard on the roof
The clomping and pounding
Of each noisy hoof!

Before I could holler
A warning of doom,
The whole aggregation
Fell into the room;
And under a mountain
Of plaster and brick
Mingled inlaws and reindeer
And me and St Nck;

He panted and sighed
Like a man who was weary;
His shoulders were stooped
His outlook was dreary;
"I'm way behind schedule,"
He said with a sigh,
"And I've been on the road
Since the first of July!"

'Twas then that I noticed
The huge monstrous sack
Which he barely could hold
On his poor creaking back;
"Confound it!" he moaned,
" Though my bag's full of toys,
I'm engulfed by the birthrate
Of new girls and boys!"

Then, filling the stockings
He shook his sad face,
"this job is a killer
I can't take the pace!
This cluttered old world
Is beyond my control!
There are even millions
Up at the North Pole!"

"Now I'm late!" he exclaimed
"And I really must hurry!
By now I should be
Over Joplin; Missouri!"
But he managed to sigh
As he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all,
And to all a goodnight!"

[kc9...@gmail.com]

I think this may be the one:

I remember, I remember,
The cell where we were kept,
And where the sun came peeping through,
Came peeping where we slept.
It never came a wink to soon,
Nor came too late a day,
For we needed light to dig a hole,
To make our getaway.

I remember, I remember,
How Lefty, Moe and Dave,
Would come with picks and shovels,

To dig a hole we would slave.
Although the going was slow,
Our spirits were not down,
But when we hit that water pipe,
Wendamned near got drowned.

I remember, I remember,
The warden's anxious call,

To find why all that water

Was streaming down the hall.
He called to his office,

I stood there staunch and brave,
And blamed the whole big bungle,

On Lefty, Moe and Dave.

(From Mad magazine... many years ago).