The Davening Parrot

[Charlie]

From the archive without attribution.?

Meyer, a lonely widower, was walking home along Delancey Street one day

wishing something wonderful would happen in his life. He passed a pet

store and heard a squawking voice shouting out in Yiddish, "Quawwwwk... vus

macht du... yeah, du... outside, standing like a putzel... eh?"

Meyer rubbed his eyes and ears. He couldn't believe it. The proprietor

sprang out of the door and grabbed Meyer by the sleeve. "Come in here,

fella, and check out this parrot..."

Meyer stood in front of an African Grey that cocked his little head and

said, "Vus? Kenst reddin Yiddish?" Meyer turned excitedly to the store

owner. "He speaks Yiddish?" "Vuh den? Sounds like Chinese to you,

maybe?"

In a matter of moments, Meyer had laid five hundred dollars on the counter

and carried the parrot and cage away with him.

All night he talked with the parrot. In Yiddish. He told the parrot about

his father's adventures coming to America. About how beautiful his

mother was when she was a young bride. About his family. About his years

of working in the garment center. About Florida. The parrot listened and

commented. They shared some walnuts. The parrot told him of living in the

pet store, how he hated the weekends.

Next morning, Meyer put on his tfillin and began saying his prayers. The

parrot demanded to know what he was doing, and when Meyer explained, the

parrot wanted some tfillin too. So Meyer hand made a miniature set of

tfillin for the parrot. The parrot wanted to learn to daven, and learned

every prayer. He wanted to learn to read Hebrew, so Meyer spent weeks and

months teaching the parrot, teaching him Torah. In time, Meyer came to

love and count on the parrot as a friend and a Jew. He wasn't lonely any

more.

On Rosh Hashona, Meyer got dressed and was about to leave for Shul when the

parrot demanded to go with him. Meyer explained that Shul was not place

for a bird, but the parrot made a terrific argument, so Meyer carried him

to Shul on his shoulder. Needless to say, they made quite a spectacle, and

Meyer was questioned by everyone including the Rabbi and Cantor. They

didn't want to allow a bird into the building on the High Holy Days, but

Meyer convinced them to let this one in, swearing that his parrot could

daven.

Wagers were made with Meyer. Thousands of dollars were bet (even odds)

that the parrot could NOT daven, could not speak Yiddish or Hebrew, etc.

All eyes were on the African Grey during services. The parrot perched on

Meyer's shoulder for prayer after prayer and song after song passed --

without making a sound.

There was not a peep from the bird. Meyer began to be annoyed, slapping at

his shoulder and mumbling under his breath, "Daven!" Nothing.

"Daven..parrot, you can daven, so daven... come on, everybody's looking at

you!" Nothing.

After Rosh Hashanah services were concluded, Meyer found that he owed his

Shul buddies and the Rabbi over four thousand dollars. He marched home,

very pissed off, saying nothing. Finally, several blocks from the

temple, the bird began happily to sing an old Yiddish song. Meyer stopped

and looked at him. "You miserable bird, you just cost me over four thousand

dollars. Why? After I made your tfillin and taught you the morning

prayers, and taught you to read Hebrew and the Torah. And after you begged

me to bring you to Shul on Rosh Hashona, Why? Why did you do this to

me?"

"Don't be a schmuck," the parrot replied. "Think of the odds on Yom

Kippur!"



Regards,Charlie