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Hillel

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Michael Lee Spivak

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Apr 8, 1999, 3:00:00 AM4/8/99
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Ok, I was trying to remember the Hillel quote to the effect of "If I am not
myself, who will be for me? If not now, when?" What's the exact quote?
Thanks!

Mike

Jens Richter

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Apr 9, 1999, 3:00:00 AM4/9/99
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Michael Lee Spivak <spi...@uiuc.edu> wrote in message
news:7ejtl5$ol3$1...@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu...

"...but if I am only for myself, who am I?"

pleasure
Jens

Ted Silverman

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Apr 10, 1999, 3:00:00 AM4/10/99
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this was good jewish humor


Michael Lee Spivak wrote in message <7ejtl5$ol3$1...@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>...

alohacyberian

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Apr 10, 1999, 3:00:00 AM4/10/99
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But, not nearly as good as yours... KM
--
(-:alohacyberian:-) At my website there are 2750 live cameras or
visit NASA, play games, read jokes, send greeting cards & connect
to CNN news, NBA, the White House, Academy Awards or learn all
about Hawaii, Israel & more: http://home.att.net/~keith.martin/

Ted Silverman <scub...@mindspring.com> wrote in article
<7emnbe$58l$1...@camel19.mindspring.com>...

David Lloyd-Jones

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Apr 10, 1999, 3:00:00 AM4/10/99
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A bunch of Alexandrian sophisticates came around to see the the most
conservative rabbi at his cheder. They asked "What is this nonsense about
the red heifer?"

The rabbi replied "It is important for Jews to pay attention to small
differences. That is how we pursue excellence. By paying attention to the
smallest hair on a neat's body we may then improve their breed."

The Alexandrians stared at each other in amazement. Who could have imagined
that this reactionary fool could have said anything so sensible?

At the same time the bocherim in the cheder were jumping up and down with
joy. "Rabbi you really stuck it to those guys, and we've never understood
this red heifer stuff until you said that."

"Shut up you little buggers. That's just a story I made up to fool the
liberals. You believe the red heifer thing because it is G*d's word."


-dlj.


Ted Silverman

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Apr 10, 1999, 3:00:00 AM4/10/99
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I like your sense of humor.

alohacyberian wrote in message <01be832e$3adabaa0$9180480c@default>...

alohacyberian

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Apr 11, 1999, 3:00:00 AM4/11/99
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Humor schmumor; send money. KM

--
(-:alohacyberian:-) At my website there are 2750 live cameras or
visit NASA, play games, read jokes, send greeting cards & connect
to CNN news, NBA, the White House, Academy Awards or learn all
about Hawaii, Israel & more: http://home.att.net/~keith.martin/

Ted Silverman <scub...@mindspring.com> wrote in article

<7eo412$ooo$1...@camel25.mindspring.com>...

gap...@vcn.bc.ca

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Apr 11, 1999, 3:00:00 AM4/11/99
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"David Lloyd-Jones" <ico...@netcom.ca> wrote:
"L> A bunch of Alexandrian sophisticates came around to see the the most
"L> conservative rabbi at his cheder. They asked "What is this nonsense about
"L> the red heifer?"
"L>
"L> The rabbi replied "It is important for Jews to pay attention to small
"L> differences. That is how we pursue excellence. By paying attention to the
"L> smallest hair on a neat's body we may then improve their breed."
"L>
"L> The Alexandrians stared at each other in amazement. Who could have imagine
"L> that this reactionary fool could have said anything so sensible?
"L>
"L> At the same time the bocherim in the cheder were jumping up and down with
"L> joy. "Rabbi you really stuck it to those guys, and we've never understood
"L> this red heifer stuff until you said that."
"L>
"L> "Shut up you little buggers. That's just a story I made up to fool the
"L> liberals. You believe the red heifer thing because it is G*d's word."

*ROTFLMAO* That is PRICELESS!!!!! I *LOVE* it!!!! Got any more like it?

I might have a little something to hopefully contribute to hilarity in this
group. . .

"THE EIGHT NIGHTS OF PESACH"

ON THE FIRST NIGHT OF PESACH
SOMEONE GAVE TO ME
A BOWL OF CHAROSETS MADE WITH PURE HONEY.

ON THE SECOND NIGHT OF PESACH
SOMEONE GAVE TO ME
TWO MATZAH BALLS
AND A BOWL OF CHAROSETS MADE WITH PURE HONEY.

ON THE THIRD NIGHT OF PESACH
SOMEONE GAVE TO ME
THREE HARD BOILED EGGS
TWO MATZAH BALLS
AND A BOWL OF CHAROSETS MADE WITH PURE HONEY.

ON THE FOURTH NIGHT OF PESACH
SOMEONE GAVE TO ME
FOUR BITTER HERBS
THREE HARDBOILED EGGS
TWO MATZAH BALLS
AND A BOWL OF CHAROSETS MADE WITH PURE HONEY.

ON THE FIFTH DAY OF PESACH
SOMEONE GAVE TO ME
FIVE USED HAGGADAHS
FOUR BITTER HERBS
THREE HARD BOILED EGGS
TWO MATZAH BALLS
AND A BOWL OF CHAROSETS MADE WITH PURE HONEY.

ON THE SIXTH NIGHT OF PESACH
SOMEONE GAVE TO ME
SIX MATZAH LATKES
FIVE USED HAGGADAHS
FOUR BITTER HERBS
THREE HARD BOILED EGGS
TWO MATZAH BALLS
AND A BOWL OF CHAROSETS MADE WITH PURE HONEY.

ON THE SEVENTH NIGHT OF PESACH
SOMEONE GAVE TO ME
SEVEN PIECES OF GEFILTE FISH
SIX MATZAH LATKES
FIVE USED HAGGADAHS
FOUR BITTER HERBS
THREE HARD BOILED EGGS
TWO MATZAH BALLS
AND A BOWL OF CHAROSETS MADE WITH PURE HONEY.

ON THE EIGHTH NIGHT OF PESACH
SOMEONE GAVE TO ME
EIGHT ALKA SELTZER
SEVEN PIECES OF GEFILTE FISH
SIX MATZAH LATKES
FIVE USED HAGGADAHS
FOUR BITTER HERBS
THREE HARD BOILED EGGS
TWO MATZAH BALLS
AND A BOWL OF CHAROSETS MADE WITH PURE HONEY.

By Nate H. Goler

Your friend,

<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
(email: gap...@vcn.bc.ca)
homepage: http://www.canadawired.com/~gapope
ICQ me at: 32617950

(Please cc my mailbox and/or quote with "Cyberpope wrote...")
-=-
In essentials, unity;
In non-essentials, liberty;
in all things, charity. -- Baxter quoting Augustine

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