SOME REAL SAD JOKES
Jack Teacozy
genuinely funny.Usually the rabbi would outwit or get over on the
priest.This is the latest tepid swill I procured on the net.If you
can
do better by all means......
There was a Rabbi who went to the Catholic Priest at the church and
asked "How do you get the money to make your church so beautiful?".
Father said "We hear confessions; observe while I demonstrate". So
the
priest gets in the center compartment, the Rabbi on one side and in
walks the first penitent. "It's been one week since my last
confession
and I have commited adultery three times". Father says "For your
penance say a Hail Mary and put five dollars in the collection box
and
your sins will be forgiven". The next penitent walks in and says
"It's
been one week since my last confession and I've committed adultery
three times". Father says "For your penance say a Hail Mary and put
five dollars in the collection box and your sins will be forgiven".
The Rabbi says, "Ooh, can I try?" So the priest and the Rabbi switch
booths. In walks the next penitent. "Can I help you" says the Rabbi.
The penitent says "It's been one week since my last confession and
I've committed adultery two times". The Rabbi says "Go out and do it
a
third time; we have a special - Three for five dollars!".
A Catholic Priest and a Jewish Rabbi were chatting one day when the
conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and the
future. "What position do you see yourself in a couple years from
now?" asked the Rabbi to the Priest. "Well, actually, I’m next in
line
for the Monsignor’s job," replied the Priest. "Yes, and then what?"
ask the Rabbi. "Well, I could become Arch-Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi. "Well, if I work real hard and do a
good job as Arch-Bishop, it’s possible to become a full Bishop" said
the Priest. "Okay, then what?" continued the Rabbi. The Priest,
beginning to be a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real
hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal." "And then?" continued the
Rabbi. The Priest is really starting to get frustrated, but replies,
"With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I’m
in
the right place at the right time and play my political games just
right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope." "Yes, and then
what?" continued the Rabbi. "Good grief!" shouted the Priest, "What
do
you expect me to become, God?" "Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our
boys made it!"
Their was once these parents that wanted to
know what their baby son Jeffrey was going to be so
they laid out 3 choices, a beer bottle, a
bible, and money if he choose the bottle he
would be a drunk,if he choose the bible he
would become religious if choose the money he
would be a buisness man so they kids grabs the
money puts it in the bible and then starts
drinking the beer....then the dad say O my god
he's gonna be a catholic priest.
In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services
when he was approached by the priest. The priest asked the janitor,
"Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for
me?
I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming.
She
tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of
serious
repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll
be right back."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the
Widow
McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I
have truly sinned, I have given into carnal thoughts and have had
oral
sex."
Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation.
Surely
10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the
janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar
boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?"
The altar boy said, "a Snickers bar and a Coke."
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
After sitting down, ordering, and chitchat the Priest says "Have you
noticed there are no women in this bar?"
He then realizes the truth "I think we`re in a gay bar."
A man approaches and is trying to flirt with the priest.
The priest is dumbfounded, and doesn`t know what to do.
The Rabbi leans over and whispers something in the mans ear.
The man walks off.
The Priest says "Thanks, but what did you tell him."
The Rabbi replies "I just told him we`re on our honeymoon."