[comp.lang.perl.modules] ANNOUNCE: Acme::Labs 1.0

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John W. Krahn

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Sep 23, 2003, 3:37:50 AM9/23/03
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Subject: ANNOUNCE: Acme::Labs 1.0
From: Plato <pl...@edmc.net>
Newsgroups: comp.lang.perl.modules, alt.tv.animaniacs
Organization: Warner, Warner, Warner, and Mime
Brain: "Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
Pinky: "I think so, Brain, but isn't the tenth anniversay tin, not pearl?"

PINKY: [Laughing madly] Egad, Brain! That "Animaniacs" Tenth
Anniversary Special is wicked!! They're all caught in this
big blizzard, and--

BRAIN: Pinky, the cable has been out all night.

PINKY: Imagine my chagrin!

BRAIN: Pay attention, Pinky! Tonight's plan to take over the world relies
on the power of programming languages. I will construct a powerful
multiplatform computer virus that will redirect all traffic
through port 80 on infected machines to http://obey.brain.org!

PINKY: Uhm...

BRAIN: It means everyone will see my website. And when they do, I
will rise to prominence, and use my newly-won global popularity
to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

PINKY: How will that make you so popular, Brain?

BRAIN: I won't use pop-up ads.

PINKY: Egad, brilliant, Brain! Oh, wait -- no. What if someone finds
your virus and stops it?

BRAIN: That's why I'm using Perl, Pinky. Everyone knows Perl is a
write-only language! But just to make sure, I have taken a
page from your book.

PINKY: I was wondering what happened to August 17.

BRAIN: [Ignoring him] I have procured a module so devious, so fiendish,
so diabolically ghastly that it could have sprung only from the
mind of Damian...

PINKY: The evil offspring of the Prince of Darkness?!?

BRAIN: [Fed-up frown to the camera] Probably. Anyway, I have adapted
this module to turn this:
print "Surrender, world!";
into this:
zort eGAD ZORt zOrt egAD " PoIT EGaD eGAD eGAD ZOrT
zOrt zoRT ZOrT eGAD, EgaD Zort eGAD zoRt zoRT!";

PINKY: Narrrrrf!

BRAIN: Precisely. Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

PINKY: I think so, Brain, but then his name would be Larry Floor.

BRAIN: <Sigh> When my virus has spread around the world --
which, given the predominance of Windows, should be shortly
before lunch -- I will be on the verge of a new... Pinky,
what are you doing?

PINKY: I'm just playing on the computer, Brain!

BRAIN: No!! Pinky! You've garbled my entire website! It's
incomprehensible!

PINKY: Don't worry, Brain! I think I can figure it out. It says...
Attention narf world... eat...plentroz of fruits...um, wibble--

BRAIN: Never mind, Pinky, it's too late. It would be easier to make
money off open-source software. No, we must stock up on pizza
and Jolt Cola for tomorrow night.

PINKY: Why, Brain, what are we going to do tomorrow night?

BRAIN: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to Take Over the
World!


-David "Acme::Labs -- now available from
<http://animaniacs.info/perl/labs>" Green

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