Review: COLD CREEK MANOR (Minor Spoilers)
loucyphre
they first came out, so posting this a bit late:
COLD CREEK MANOR
Directed by Mike Figgis
Starring Dennis Quaid, Sharon Stone, Stephen Dorff, Juliette Lewis, Kristen
Stewart, Ryan Wilson, Dana Eskelson, Christopher Plummer
2003 - 118 minutes
www.horrorexpress.com/filmreview.php?id=336
It's not supposed to work this way. Usually, a marketing campaign will have
a juicy horror film on their hands, like SILENCE OF THE LAMBS or THE SIXTH
SENSE and realize that they need to sell it as something "classier" than
your typical slice-and-dice. So, we hear terms coined like "suspense and
terror" or "supernatural thriller." Horror films, after all, are seen as
something much lower on cinema's evolutionary chart. It's not until we
watch SILENCE or SIXTH SENSE that we realize what wonderful, terror-filled
romps they are, and the only thing that frustrates us, is Hollywood's
continuing lack of confidence in the genre.
I suppose I should feel somewhat encouraged that COLD CREEK MANOR gets this
marketing ploy completely backwards. The trailer promises something
terrifying. The house hides all sorts of ghostly secrets and the covers
seem to move long after Sharon Stone gets out of bed. What they don't tell
you is that the secrets amount to a redneck in a doublewide and the covers
move because there is a garden snake under the covers. There is no doubt
that 2003 is a banner year for horror, what with all the interesting films
that have been popping up. But COLD CREEK MANOR is definitely not a horror
film. In fact, it's not even very good.
Leah Tilson (Sharon Stone) is a working mom who we're told spends about 90%
of the time working, and 10% of the time being a mom. Her husband, Cooper
(Dennis Quaid) is a documentary filmmaker who does all the dad-like duties.
Two events coincide to open the tale. On a plane trip, Leah considers
sleeping with her boss in exchange for a promotion. At the same time, their
youngest child is almost run over by an SUV outside of his school. The
Tilsons panic. "We've got to get out of the city," Cooper says. Yes, of
course. Because the city is to blame for all your woes. Why, in the
country, people never get hit by cars or worry about their wives fucking
their way through the glass ceiling.
It's one of the more hypocritical things about Hollywood. The country is
either a place of inbred rednecks or a magical land to escape it all and
get back to the simpler things in life. In COLD CREEK MANOR, it happens to
be both, while taking no time to reconcile the two. Rural America is never
shown as being what it is... just a change of scenery. I always find it
amusing when several million dollars are thrown at these "city-bad/country-
good" films. I've got news for you. The stars didn't read this in a modest
shack. Their agents didn't broker the deal while enjoying some fishing on
the Great Lakes. And I guarantee the film wasn't greenlit by a guy in
suspenders, saying, "Well, shucks. I'd love to pay six figures for your
script. Just let me clean out the chicken coop first." But fine. If the
studios want to pretend they're Ma and Pa Kettle, I'll bite.
As humble country estates go, Cold Creek Manor is pretty enormous, with
loads of unused farmland that has now grown lush with bushes. The manor
sports several floors and even a swimming pool that looks pretty near
Olympic-sized. The Tilsons enthusiastically take up residence and look
forward to fixing the place up (We don't know when or where the kids will
start school again).
Everything is great until the home's previous owner, Dale Massie (Stephen
Dorff - BLADE, FEARDOTCOM) shows up. He's an unwashed person who sweats a
lot and belches at the dinner table, so you just know he can't be trusted.
Still, he reassures them. "This, right here," he says, "it's alright." He's
happy to see the Tilsons in the house he couldn't pay for, and he's willing
to help out around the house just in case. That's all until something
unfortunate happens and Dale is immediately blamed. A bigger movie would
have had the Tilsons' prejudices exposed and shown they were wrong. But
COLD CREEK MANOR is not a big movie. Cooper is right, Dale is wrong. They
are the nuclear family and he's just the help. Of course, he's evil. This
is never questioned. The film escalates slowly, very slowly, as Dale sends
passive-aggressive taunts Cooper's way.
And that's pretty much it. Yes, that's the whole movie. Dale's pissed,
starts mouthing off. Does he try to kill them? Nope. Hurt them? Nope. Harm
those around him? Weeeell, yes. But it should pack more of a punch than it
does.
But otherwise, nothing much is made of the film. In fact, they have to
bring in a mystery, one that is literally solved within five minutes, in
order to justify Dale's overdue freak-out. When it comes, it's nothing near
enough, and it actually seems uncharacteristic for the loudmouthed-but-
harmless guy we've come to know. The ending, complete with the so-called
mystery seems tacked on to justify the actions of the characters. Dale's
actions as a means to an end and the actions of the Tilsons, which are
nothing short of ridiculous. When I say the ending looks tacked-on folks,
I'm talking about crazy, eye rolling, "Is-this-the-same-movie?" stuff that
haunted such films as FATAL ATTRACTION. But FATAL ATTRACTION's ending was
changed by the studio. I can find nothing of any production troubles COLD
CREEK MANOR suffered. It could be studio interference or it could just be
sloppy writing.
A lot of talented people are mixed up in this mess. Juliette Lewis (FROM
DUSK TIL DAWN, STRANGE DAYS, NATURAL BORN KILLERS) shows up as Dale's
girlfriend. She gets into shoving matches with the city folk, drinks like a
fish and says she fell when she has obviously been struck. My God, she even
lives in a doublewide trailer. It's a stereotype that leads me to ask, what
happened to this great young actress? Ditto Christopher Plummer. Shouldn't
his role in THE INSIDER have prevented this sorry string of extended cameos
once and for all? Same old, same old, as Plummer is unfortunately regulated
to a similar role, one that could have been filmed in a day. For this role,
he never even gets out of bed.
In the leads, Dennis Quaid actually turns in one of his better
performances. He is completely believable as the stay-at-home dad who would
do anything to protect his family. Dorff is truly surprising. It has taken
him a while, but he is beginning to prove himself as a truly intriguing
actor. His turn as Dale Massie is easily the best in the film, and every
time he's on screen, there's at least some entertainment.
After Sharon Stone's amazing turn in CASINO, for which she should have won
an Oscar, her career has been on a downward trajectory. Earlier this year,
she was featured in a commercial where she had just finished sleeping with
the AOL Instant Messenger mascot. COLD CREEK MANOR is a step up from this,
but not by much. To be fair, I give her credit for bravery. She has waited
for a role with a lot of room for talent. Unfortunately, the role itself
seems confined to the "upset wife" category, and Stone is not allowed to
break through it.
Nothing is more frustrating here than the role played by director Mike
Figgis. Because really, he doesn't do anything wrong. Since LEAVING LAS
VEGAS, Figgis has been a very intriguing filmmaker, always willing to
experiment. Unfortunately, his experiments only work part of the time,
something illustrated by his film TIMECODE. I cannot fault him for one
single camera movement, one single piece of mise-'en-scene or any other
directorial touch save for the ending. As near as I can figure, he handles
everything very well. He even contributes a solid musical score.
No, the real problem here is screenwriter Richard Jefferies, who gives us a
script but forgets the story. Jefferies has written horror before, with THE
VAGRANT, SCARECROWS and BLOOD TIDE. Only Jefferies forgot to mention that
this is not a horror film. I'm not faulting the film for not following
through on the advertising. That's the fault of the publicity department.
But the film needn't stand still. People around me were nodding off in the
theatre, and I know I heard at least one person snore. It isn't that the
film moves slowly. Slowly is good. It's that the film doesn't move at all.
Ever. It doesn't have anything interesting to say and when the clock runs
out on the film, they rush in a storyline just to give some sort of
dramatic tension.
The motivations of the characters are completely wrong. Lewis is one-
dimensional and Dorff's turn doesn't ring true. Moreover, we can't figure
out why Quaid would want to stay in town, as most of the townsfolk seem to
be siding with their native son, and not the Tilsons. Home is where the
heart is and I'm sure there's one to be found in COLD CREEK MANOR.
Unfortunately, it can't seem to beat given all the dead weight surrounding
it.
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loucyphre -
Editor - www.horrorexpress.com
Contributing Writer - www.cultcuts.net
______________________
"I like it. It's a statement."
- (Linnea Quigley, "Return of the Living Dead")
"It's all these booze-addled British boys with their Viz-style
rough-and-tumble pub-style blabbering and bullshitting about fucking
sheep and 'getting pissed' and 'tits' and 'arse'. It used to be such a
polite, congenial place, did alt.horror."
- (Dr. Phibes, alt.horror, 12/16/01)
loucyphre
news:u4fgb.166416$0v4.12...@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net:
> x-no-archive: yes
>
> Took forever to read that highly repetitive review.
*furiously squeezing novelty stress ball* Ah-heheheheheheh.....
> Thanks for the review Lucy.
>
> al
>
You're welcome and don't call me Lucy.
loucyphre
news:%jYgb.169067$0v4.12...@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net:
> x-no-archive: yes
>
> I guess I should add I like most of your reviews. Sometimes you should
> consider letting loose and really slamming a bad movie. The kind of
> review that just rips their guts out. The kind that inspired The
> Abominable Dr. Phibes to kill his critics! Turn to the Dark Side, Lou.
>
> al
>
Heh, actually I do, but now that you mention it, I've grown a bit nicer.
Still, have you read my BLOOD BROTHERS review at CultCuts?
http://www.cultcuts.net/reviewsmovies/b/bloodbrothers.htm
I actually felt bad after writing that one. These guys put a few years into
the making of their indie flick. But every time I'd say something, I'd ask
myself if it was justified. The answer every time was, "Yes, and then
some." Good God, that was horrible.