I don't believe it...
Crystal
The supervisor in charge of this lab just walked up behind me, reached
over my shoulder and stuck a little label that says "Power switch" on the
CPU next to the... you know. He said too many people have tried to eject
their disks by pushing the little button. Sometimes I can't comprehend
the stupidity around me.
Crystal
Zepp
In article <cvf2-08089...@128.253.82.212>,
*I* believe it!!! I used to do security at a plant belonging to a GM
subsidiary that did a lot of D.O.D. work. You wouldn't *believe* the
stupidity I saw there (well, ok -- maybe you *would* ;-) It was the same
when I worked at the aiport doing preflight screening.
You haven't lived until you've tried to teach a newhire, who is basically an
illiterate peasant, how to run the luggage x-ray, and what to look for on
the screen. Aaargh!
Greywolf the Wanderer, borrowing zepp's account
Starlight
What? No one here's heard the story of the woman who called up the store
where she bought her computer and said that she'd broken the pop out cup
holder on her computer? (Read CD-ROM drive) Or how about the man who todl
them he couldn't turn the computer off because the 'on' switch only turns
it on. Somehow, computers and stupidity seem to go hand in hand.
- Starlight
jahi...@ctaz.com
FierceSong
Starlight <jahi...@ctaz.com> wrote:
>
>
>On Fri, 9 Aug 1996, Zepp wrote:
>
>> In article <cvf2-08089...@128.253.82.212>,
>> cv...@cornell.edu (Crystal) wrote:
>>>The supervisor in charge of this lab just walked up behind me, reached
e have tried >>>to eject their disks by pushing the little button. Sometimes I can't >>>comprehend the stupidity around me.
>>>
>>>Crystal
>
>What? No one here's heard the story of the woman who called up the store
>where she bought her computer and said that she'd broken the pop out cup
>holder on her computer? (Read CD-ROM drive) Or how about the man who >todl them he couldn't turn the computer off because the 'on' =
switch only >turns it on. Somehow, computers and stupidity seem to go hand in hand.
>
> - Starlight
> jahi...@ctaz.com
And then there's the one a friend of mine had happen to him: He works for
a network's help desk, and someone called him up asking where the 'any'
key was. He couldn't figure out what they were talking about, so he
asked them what the message on the screen said. The person on the phone
told him, "The computer screen says 'hit any key'. So where's the any
key?" Same friend had the 'broken cup holder' thing happen to him.
*sigh* I wish I could think of answers stupid enough for these stupid
questions. (mumblegrumble ANY key! grumblemumble)
Nre'fa-o,
FierceSong
"But it's not FaiR!"
"Fair!?! FAIR!!
You keep saying that. I wonder what your basis for comparison is."
- Labyrinth
Coyote Osborne
In article <Pine.OSF.3.94.96080...@alpha.ctaz.com>,
Starlight <jahi...@ctaz.com> wrote:
> What? No one here's heard the story of the woman who called up
the store
> where she bought her computer and said that she'd broken the pop out cup
> holder on her computer? (Read CD-ROM drive) Or how about the man who todl
> them he couldn't turn the computer off because the 'on' switch only turns
> it on. Somehow, computers and stupidity seem to go hand in hand.
<grin>
Has anyone ever called tech support for a problem and had them ask you a
bunch of seemingly stupid questions? Like:
"Is your computer plugged in?"
"Is your monitor turned on?"
"Are all your cables connected properly?"
In case you are wonmdering why (I've done lotsa tech support) the reason
is this....
Well... Let me give you an example of some typical tech support phone calls.
Person: I just bought a modem for my stupid computer and it doesn't work!
Coyote: Well, exactly what problem are you having?
Person: It doesn't do anything! It just sits there!
Coyote: And you have all the cables connected and the power turned on and
it's connected to a phone line?
Person: Of course! What a stupid question <rustle rustle> Do you think I'm
an idiot? <rustle rustle click> Oh... I didn't have it connected to the
phone line.
Or my favorite modem call...
Person: My modem doesn't work! It sucks!
Coyote: What problem are you experiencing?
Person: I tell it to connect like this
<Loud screeching noises...line goes dead>
Coyote: Are you there?
<Person calls back>
Person: See? And then whoever I'm talking to on the phone gets cut off!
Coyote: Do you have this problem when you are not already talking on the line?
Person: No. Only when I am using the phone for something else. And if I
pick up the phone while I am using the modem, the phone makes a terrible
noise!
Coyote: Did you know that if you are using a modem on a phone line you
cannot also be talking to someone on the phone?
Person: Why not?
Coyote: Well... if you are using the phone, and someone else wants to make
an outgoing call to someone else, can they do it?
Person: No.
Coyote: Well, the modem cannot dial an outgoing call if you are already
using the phone either.
Person: Oh. That's stupid.
Coyote: Yes. well, unfortunately, when you are using the modedm for a
phone call, you can;t use the modem. You either need to use one or he
other or get another line.
I am not making this up. : b
Or another.
Person: My monitor doesn't work! I hate computers!
Coyote: What does the monitor show? Is it all black?
Person: It's all black... I can't see anything!
Coyote: Is the monitor turned on?
Person: I have to turn it on? The computer is on.
Coyote: But is the monitor turned n and plugged in?
Person: Of course... it's... oh wait... there's a little button...
Coyote: What does the button say?
Person: It's got a little circle with a line in it.
Coyote: Press it. It's the power switch.
Person: Oh! There it goes! It's working now! Thanks! Stupid Computers!
Or
Person: My computer won;t turn on! Everything is plugged into the power
strip but the computer doesn;t work! It's broken!
Coyote: Is the power strip turned on and plugged in?
Person: I think so.
Coyote: Why don't you check?
Person: <rustle rustle> Oh... there it goes. It's fixed.
Do you know how much time can be saved on average simply by asking all the
stupid questions first? If I answered 100 phone calls, between 80 and 90
of them were from people that hadn't plugged in something or hadn't turned
everything on.
Nearly all of these same people insisted that the computer or component
was "broken" or "didn't work". Most described their equipment as "stupid".
: b
Stupid computers indeed.
Coyote
--
---
Coyote Osborne;1085 NE 179 Terrace;North Miami Beach, FL 33162
email: coy...@miami.mindspring.com
Ben Goodridge
coy...@mail.miami.mindspring.com (Coyote Osborne) wrote:
> Stupid computers indeed.
>
> Coyote
This thread isn't especially on-topic, so I probably shouldn't be
encouraging it, but...
After years in the computer dark-ages I was given a computer by my
parents; it was only a 386 but it could do everything I'd need
(including being able to read these scrumptious posts). Pity it
didn't seem to work.
Boy was Dad pissed. (Never mail a computer.) We went through the
whole rigamarole. "Is the monitor plugged in?" "Yes..." "Is it
turned on?" "Yes..." "Is the CPU plugged in?" "Yes..." "The power
strip?" "Yes..." "The keyboard?" "Yes..." "Did you try another
socket?" "Yes..." Evidently my father, as computer consultant for
a New Jersey distributorship, has seen every potential idiotic
mistake. The stupid mistakes I make with computers, however, are
much more complicated. Plugging in drive cables the wrong way and that
sort of thing. (The expansion card had come unhooked, that's all.)
I was also computer consultant in USM's tiny Gorham computer lab in
1991. I went in nervous...did I know enough about these beige boxes
to provide instruction to these people? I had at least a passing
familiarity with most of the software and some idea as to how the
hardware was stacked together...but detailed, topical help instruction
was beyond me...
Man, when I heard some of the problems people had...most of which were
easily fixed by jamming the boot disk in and rebooting the computer
terminal. I don't think I, as someone who had only used PCs for a few
months, received a single question I couldn't answer.
It swelled my head to the prodigious size it retains to this very
day.
Ben Goodridge
bgoo...@maine.maine.edu
Skeezix88
In article <4uegn7$f...@rac5.wam.umd.edu>, frn...@wam.umd.edu (Kevin Kane)
writes:
>Crystal <cv...@cornell.edu> wrote:
>>The supervisor in charge of this lab just walked up behind me, reached
>>over my shoulder and stuck a little label that says "Power switch" on
the
>>CPU next to the... you know. He said too many people have tried to
eject
>>their disks by pushing the little button. Sometimes I can't comprehend
>>the stupidity around me.
Hello! There's some of that stupidity right here! I'm an old DOS-boy,
and the newest Macs I'd used were Classics. When my boss needed me to
finish a document on his Performa, I typed it up, saved to the A drive
(guess I shouldn't call it that on a Mac, huh?), and (through sheer force
of habit) hit that damn button to eject the disk.
The first time I did it wasn't really stupidity. The second time *was*...
and was also the last.
True stupidity was putting that damn button right there in the first
place. :^P After all, some casual users who happen to use both Macs and
IBMs might have a little lapse like mine.
Trust me. I've done things a *whole* lot stupider than that.
And so have you.
-Blue Methuselah... a coyote in a Cougar!
Skee...@aol.com
Weres are welcome in San Diego.
MegaDog the Nettweiler
In article <coyotee-1008...@news.miami.mindspring.com>, Coyote Osborne (coy...@mail.miami.mindspring.com) writes:
>Has anyone ever called tech support for a problem and had them ask you a
>bunch of seemingly stupid questions? Like:
>
>"Is your computer plugged in?"
>"Is your monitor turned on?"
>"Are all your cables connected properly?"
<GRIN!> My fave one was a callout to a customer who *assured* us that
all the things were plugged in correctly... when we arrived, we found,
sure enough, the monitor, pizza-box, modem and printer were all
correctly plugged into a multi-way power-distribution strip... then we
looked again... four devices, *five* plugs in the distribution strip...
Yeah; the user had the input power-cord from the distribution strip
plugged into one of the distribution-strip's outlets, rather than a
wall outlet...
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH!
!Raised Tails! -:MegaDog:-
Spyder Witiko
> What? No one here's heard the story of the woman who called up the
> store where she bought her computer and said that she'd broken the pop out cup
> holder on her computer? (Read CD-ROM drive) Or how about the man who todl
> them he couldn't turn the computer off because the 'on' switch only turns
> it on. Somehow, computers and stupidity seem to go hand in hand.
My friend Jeff works for Egghead Software, and he's had soe doozies. This
one's my favorite:
Woman on phone: I just bought a new computer, and plugged everything in,
but it still won't work. I press on the pedal, but I can't make it work
right...
Jeff: Pedal?! Excuse me?
Woman: Yeah, the little white pedal that was in the box... I plugged it
in, but when I try to move it with my foot, it's very jerky. Also, I have
to take my shoe off to use it, and that doesn't look very professional...
Jeff: Ma'am, that's a mouse. You're not supposed to step on it...
Anyway, she got into a whole argument with him, and it became very
apparent that she just wasn't capable of using it at all without 24 hour
voice support. He suggested she take it back to the store and get her
money back. She became offended, and demanded to speak with his manager.
Who promptly told her the same thing. <grin>
- Spyder Witiko, kokodhem-at-large
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Friends help you move - REAL friends help you move bodies.
___ ___ | ... "The ignorant man marvels at the exceptional;
/\ _|_ /\ | the wise man marvels at the common; the greatest
/ /\_|_/\ \ | wonder of all is the regularity of nature."
/ / /\|/\ \ \ | ã George Dana Boardman
--------*--------|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
\ \ \/|\/ / / | mailto:spy...@xmission.com
\ \/_|_\/ / | WWW Sites: <http://www.xmission.com/~spyder/> and
\/__|__\/ | <http://www.xmission.com/~spyder/ahwwpage.hmtl>
Crystal
In article <4ul0b6$e...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, skee...@aol.com
(Skeezix88) wrote:
> Trust me. I've done things a *whole* lot stupider than that.
> And so have you.
Me? Do something stupid? Never! (hee hee)
There was the time I lost my temper at my horse when he wouldn't stand
still for me to scramble aboard bareback from a treestump... I grabbed a
stick and swatted him a good one on the rump. Problem was, I wasn't
hanging onto the reins very tight. That horse swung his back end around
and kicked me in the middle with both hind feet at once. Got what I
deserved. (ouch) :P
Crystal
Zepp
In article <45...@dogstar.win-uk.net>,
meg...@dogstar.win-uk.net (MegaDog the Nettweiler) wrote:
><GRIN!> My fave one was a callout to a customer who *assured* us that
>all the things were plugged in correctly... when we arrived, we found,
>sure enough, the monitor, pizza-box, modem and printer were all
>correctly plugged into a multi-way power-distribution strip... then we
>looked again... four devices, *five* plugs in the distribution strip...
>
>Yeah; the user had the input power-cord from the distribution strip
>plugged into one of the distribution-strip's outlets, rather than a
>wall outlet...
>
>DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH!
>
> !Raised Tails! -:MegaDog:-
Hee, hee! Man, talk about Serious Contender for Bonehead of the Year!!!
Some years ago I worked at a rehab hospital; nurse's aide during the week,
ward clerk on the weekends. I quickly acquired a thoroughly undeserved
reputation as an engineering genius (which I'm NOT, not by a long shot!),
for my magickal ability to troubleshoot the copy machines, the PBX phones,
and the electric hospital beds. Gawd. One woman was in tears over a report
that she had to get copied -- I checked, and the machine A) wasn't plugged
in, and B) she hadn't brought her copy key with her.
Then there was the dead hospital bed -- crawled underneath, reconnected one
snap connector, and presto, it was fixed! Add to that the ability to reload
toner and clear paper jams, and all of a sudden I'm Scotty!
It was fun, although it was also rather pathetic...
WATCHDOG
.
>
> Greywolf the Wanderer, borrowing zepp's accountWho cares.................
--
MZ
Ben Goodridge
WATCHDOG <n...@reddragon.com> wrote:
> > Greywolf the Wanderer, borrowing zepp's accountWho cares.................
Watchdog and Demonhunter breathing in and out, who cares...
Ben Goodridge
Still awaiting DemonHunter's RSVP for tea
Tim
In article <4v1r4k$b...@hermes.acs.unt.edu>, hug...@ponder.csci.unt.edu (Christopher Eric Hughes) wrote:
>Crystal (cv...@cornell.edu) wrote:
>: The supervisor in charge of this lab just walked up behind me, reached
>: over my shoulder and stuck a little label that says "Power switch" on the
>: CPU next to the... you know. He said too many people have tried to eject
>: their disks by pushing the little button. Sometimes I can't comprehend
>: the stupidity around me.
>
>half and try to slide it into a 3.5 inch drive. Or call a help desk saying
>"I have ten disks to format, and I can only make five fit in the drive."
And do you know what the real SAD thing is?
Most of these people wind up using AOL. : /
-Tim Connolly
Passages wind at Tim's Homepage! Come visit
"The Maze," a brand new feature! Prizes to the winners!
While you're there, check out:
-The FAQ!
-My new IRC and Game Show Pages!
-Original poetry, short stories, and MIDI's!
-The ever-so-popular DIM Poll!
It's all waiting for you at:
http://www.nethosting.com/~loogaroo
WATCHDOG
TEA 4 2??
Christopher Eric Hughes
Crystal (cv...@cornell.edu) wrote:
: The supervisor in charge of this lab just walked up behind me, reached
: over my shoulder and stuck a little label that says "Power switch" on the
: CPU next to the... you know. He said too many people have tried to eject
: their disks by pushing the little button. Sometimes I can't comprehend
: the stupidity around me.
That's ok. Just wait until you watch someone fold a 5.25 inch disk in
half and try to slide it into a 3.5 inch drive. Or call a help desk saying
"I have ten disks to format, and I can only make five fit in the drive."
--
In the name of the best within us, A is A
Christopher Eric Hughes Either-Or
hug...@cs.unt.edu Non-Contradiction
"By the essence and nature of existence, contradictions cannot exist.
If you find one, check your premises; you'll find that one of them is
wrong." Hugh Akston, Professor of Philosophy, Patrick Henry Univ.
Ben Goodridge
WATCHDOG <n...@reddragon.com> wrote:
>
Yeah, right. I haven't heard THAT joke every fucking day of my life
since Junior High.
Just to get them out of the sack before you decide to yet again slay
me with your empyrian wit, you might also try "Ben Gay," "Ben Kenobi,"
"Ben Wa," "Ben Dix," and "Benji." Survey SAYS==<bing> Fourteen
percent. We're sorry, but that does not put you over the top.
Thank you very much for playing.
Ben Goodridge
bgoo...@maine.maine.edu
http://maine.maine.edu/~bgoodr61
Zepp
In article <321271...@reddragon.com>, WATCHDOG <n...@reddragon.com> wrote:
>..
>>
>> Greywolf the Wanderer, borrowing zepp's accountWho cares.................
Oooh, how *witty* you are, dearie.
MmmZzzz yourself, choom.
Greywolf the Wanderer, borrowing zepp's account
-----------------------------------------------
"Target practice!! Peanuts, popcorn, getcher ammo here!"
Coyote Osborne
> In article <4v1r4k$b...@hermes.acs.unt.edu>, hug...@ponder.csci.unt.edu
(Christopher Eric Hughes) wrote:
> >That's ok. Just wait until you watch someone fold a 5.25 inch disk in
> >half and try to slide it into a 3.5 inch drive. Or call a help desk saying
> >"I have ten disks to format, and I can only make five fit in the drive."
Heh... I'm sure y'all have heard this one before... but I used to work
with a lady that wasn;t too swift with computers.
When asked if she could send a copy of a diskette to someoen, she
dutifully placed the diskette on the photocopier, and made a copy and
faxed it to them...
Then she came in and told me, "This man at <company "x"> just asked me to
do something that seems so silly. He asked for a copy of the disk with his
compny logo in it... I faxed him the copy, but I can't imagine what good
it will do him... it just looks like a black square. Honestly, some
people!"
: b