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Polish jokes
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Judith Latham
Dec 22, 2021, 11:15:19 PM12/22/21
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Q: Did you hear that the Polish government bought a thousand septic
tanks?
A: As soon as they learn to drive them, they're going to invade
Russia.
Q: Why did the Polish couple decide to have only four children?
A: Because they read that one out of every five babies born in the
world is Chinese.
Q: Did you hear about the Polak who got his vasectomy at Sears?
A: Every time he gets a hard-on, his garage door opens!
Q: Did you hear about the Polish weightlifter who won an Olympic gold
medal in the clean-and-jerk competition?
A: As soon as he gets home, he's going to have his medal bronzed!
Q: What do Polish lesbians use for lubricant?
A: Tartar sauce!
Q: How come the Polish firing squad was never successful?
A: They always stood in a circle!
Q: What do you get when you cross a Polack and a monkey?
A: Nothing, a monkey is too smart to screw a Polack!
Did you hear about the two bald-headed Polacks who put their heads
together and made an ass out of themselves?
Did you hear about the Polack who took a roll of toilet paper to a
craps game?
Q: How can you tell a Polish pirate?
A: He has a patch over both eyes.
Q: Did you hear about the famous Polish inventor Alexander Graham
Kowalski?
A: He invented the telephone pole!
Q: Have you heard about the Polish daredevil, Evil Grabowski?
A: He jumps over 15 motorcycles with a garbage truck!
Q: Did you hear about the Polish wolf that got stuck in a trap?
A: It gnawed off three legs, and couldn't figure out why it still
wasn't free!
Q. What's a Polish 69?
A. You suck your thumb while you jerk off!
Did you hear about the Polack kamikaze pilot that flew 48 successful
missions?
Did you hear about the Polack who thought asphalt was rectum trouble?
Q: What did they find when they tore down the Berlin Wall?
A: The Polish hide-and-seek champion.
Q: Did you hear about the latest Polish invention?
A: It's a solar-powered flashlight.
Q: Did you hear about the new automatic Polish parachutes?
A: They open on impact!
Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to
kill him?
A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover!"
Q: How did the Polish lady blow her brains out?
A: She stepped on her douche bag!
Q: Did you hear about the Polish helicopter crash?
A: The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.
Q: Did you hear about the new sports stadium in Warsaw that had to be
torn down after only one event?
A: The problem was no matter where you sat, you sat behind a Pole!
Did you hear about the Polish bride who wore something old, something
new, something borrowed, something blue, something red, something
green, something yellow...
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who tried out for "Riverdance"?
A: He drowned.
A Polish family is sitting in the living room. The wife turns to the
husband and says "Let's send the kids out to
P-L-A-Y so we can go in the bedroom and fuck."
Q: What's the favorite Polish houseplant?
A: Crabgrass.
Q: What does it say on the bottom of a Polish coke bottle?
A: Open other end!
Q: Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?
A: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest
Service.
Q: Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
A: Lawrence of Poland
tanks?
A: As soon as they learn to drive them, they're going to invade
Russia.
Q: Why did the Polish couple decide to have only four children?
A: Because they read that one out of every five babies born in the
world is Chinese.
Q: Did you hear about the Polak who got his vasectomy at Sears?
A: Every time he gets a hard-on, his garage door opens!
Q: Did you hear about the Polish weightlifter who won an Olympic gold
medal in the clean-and-jerk competition?
A: As soon as he gets home, he's going to have his medal bronzed!
Q: What do Polish lesbians use for lubricant?
A: Tartar sauce!
Q: How come the Polish firing squad was never successful?
A: They always stood in a circle!
Q: What do you get when you cross a Polack and a monkey?
A: Nothing, a monkey is too smart to screw a Polack!
Did you hear about the two bald-headed Polacks who put their heads
together and made an ass out of themselves?
Did you hear about the Polack who took a roll of toilet paper to a
craps game?
Q: How can you tell a Polish pirate?
A: He has a patch over both eyes.
Q: Did you hear about the famous Polish inventor Alexander Graham
Kowalski?
A: He invented the telephone pole!
Q: Have you heard about the Polish daredevil, Evil Grabowski?
A: He jumps over 15 motorcycles with a garbage truck!
Q: Did you hear about the Polish wolf that got stuck in a trap?
A: It gnawed off three legs, and couldn't figure out why it still
wasn't free!
Q. What's a Polish 69?
A. You suck your thumb while you jerk off!
Did you hear about the Polack kamikaze pilot that flew 48 successful
missions?
Did you hear about the Polack who thought asphalt was rectum trouble?
Q: What did they find when they tore down the Berlin Wall?
A: The Polish hide-and-seek champion.
Q: Did you hear about the latest Polish invention?
A: It's a solar-powered flashlight.
Q: Did you hear about the new automatic Polish parachutes?
A: They open on impact!
Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to
kill him?
A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover!"
Q: How did the Polish lady blow her brains out?
A: She stepped on her douche bag!
Q: Did you hear about the Polish helicopter crash?
A: The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.
Q: Did you hear about the new sports stadium in Warsaw that had to be
torn down after only one event?
A: The problem was no matter where you sat, you sat behind a Pole!
Did you hear about the Polish bride who wore something old, something
new, something borrowed, something blue, something red, something
green, something yellow...
Q: Did you hear about the Polack who tried out for "Riverdance"?
A: He drowned.
A Polish family is sitting in the living room. The wife turns to the
husband and says "Let's send the kids out to
P-L-A-Y so we can go in the bedroom and fuck."
Q: What's the favorite Polish houseplant?
A: Crabgrass.
Q: What does it say on the bottom of a Polish coke bottle?
A: Open other end!
Q: Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?
A: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest
Service.
Q: Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
A: Lawrence of Poland
Bob F
Dec 22, 2021, 11:56:17 PM12/22/21
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Jeßus
Dec 23, 2021, 1:12:07 AM12/23/21
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Frank
Dec 23, 2021, 7:50:27 AM12/23/21
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Judith Latham
Dec 23, 2021, 12:43:18 PM12/23/21
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Marilyn Manson
Dec 23, 2021, 12:51:53 PM12/23/21
to
On Thursday, December 23, 2021 at 12:43:18 PM UTC-5, Judith Latham wrote:
> Is there anyone who really gives a rat's ass what Bob thinks or feels?
Or what you think or feel?
> Is there anyone who really gives a rat's ass what Bob thinks or feels?
Jeßus
Dec 23, 2021, 1:29:41 PM12/23/21
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RStreets
Dec 23, 2021, 3:28:15 PM12/23/21
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Judith Latham <jud...@sick-of-bullshit.invalid> wrote in news:sq0t4h$pi6
$1...@dont-email.me:
I'm Polish, and me and my Polish relatives in Chicago love the jokes.
Here's my contribution to the list.
POLISH SEX MANUAL
IN <----------> OUT
Repeat if necessary.
$1...@dont-email.me:
Here's my contribution to the list.
POLISH SEX MANUAL
IN <----------> OUT
Repeat if necessary.
Dean Hoffman
Dec 23, 2021, 7:27:37 PM12/23/21
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a kid. All of my ancestors are Czech as far as I know. I didn't mind but some were just God awful.
One would have to be super drunk to even think of them.
Ed Pawlowski
Dec 23, 2021, 8:21:41 PM12/23/21
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On 12/23/2021 7:27 PM, Dean Hoffman wrote:
>
> A couple of those jokes are real groaners. It was dumb Bohunk (Czech) jokes when I was
> a kid. All of my ancestors are Czech as far as I know. I didn't mind but some were just God awful.
> One would have to be super drunk to even think of them.
My father-in-law was Italian so we would go back and forth with the
>
> A couple of those jokes are real groaners. It was dumb Bohunk (Czech) jokes when I was
> a kid. All of my ancestors are Czech as far as I know. I didn't mind but some were just God awful.
> One would have to be super drunk to even think of them.
jokes. It was quite popular for ethnic jokes at the time. No one too
offense.
The ones posted were like any list, a couple of good ones, most were
lame no matter what nationality you used.
Bob F
Dec 23, 2021, 8:47:26 PM12/23/21
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T
Dec 24, 2021, 4:31:35 AM12/24/21
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On 12/23/21 09:43, Judith Latham wrote:
> Is there anyone who really gives a rat's ass what Bob thinks or feels?
Actually, on other groups, BobF gives the shirt off his
> Is there anyone who really gives a rat's ass what Bob thinks or feels?
back to give advice and be helpful (non-political
topics). Even though I do not like his politics,
I do like him. He is a good man.
"Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The
first is that if you disagree with someone's
lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The
second is that to love someone means you agree
with everything they believe, say, or do.
Both are nonsense. You don't have to
compromise convictions to be compassionate."
--David Chappelle
I also do not like Dave's politics, but I like and
respect him a lot.
Frank
Dec 24, 2021, 10:33:20 AM12/24/21
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T
Dec 24, 2021, 8:54:24 PM12/24/21
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use it as a substitute for belief in god.
Conforming is there path to righteousness.
Anyone that does not "conform" is a heretic.
And you don't be civil to heretics, let along
have them as friends.
I have a RINO customer that would make Bob blush.
He can't wait to see me and talk politics (man
does he hate Trump). But here is the thing,
we are respectful of each other. It is actually
enjoyable to hear the other side presents in a
respectful manner.
Dave Chappelle hit is on the head. Speaking
of Dave, damn is he funny! Almost as funny
as Fluffy! I can't wait for Dave's last special
to hit Youtube or Rumble, which won't censor him.
T
Dec 29, 2021, 4:21:55 AM12/29/21
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Whenever I am in a machine shop and I see a lathe
operating I think of the joke:
Q. How many [insert target nationality to be insulted
here] does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Eleven. One to hold the bulb and 10 to turn the ladder.
operating I think of the joke:
Q. How many [insert target nationality to be insulted
here] does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Eleven. One to hold the bulb and 10 to turn the ladder.
Frank
Dec 29, 2021, 7:48:04 AM12/29/21
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I do not understand why they cannot take a joke. He was not offensive
or demeaning.
Marilyn Manson
Dec 29, 2021, 10:43:36 AM12/29/21
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Judith Latham
Dec 30, 2021, 1:51:26 PM12/30/21
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On 12/24/2021 4:31 AM, T wrote:
> On 12/23/21 09:43, Judith Latham wrote:
>> Is there anyone who really gives a rat's ass what Bob thinks or feels?
>
> Actually, on other groups, BobF gives the shirt off his
> back to give advice and be helpful (non-political
> topics). Even though I do not like his politics,
> I do like him. He is a good man.
>
I have no doubt he's a good man; I wasn't judging his character.
>> Is there anyone who really gives a rat's ass what Bob thinks or feels?
>
> Actually, on other groups, BobF gives the shirt off his
> back to give advice and be helpful (non-political
> topics). Even though I do not like his politics,
> I do like him. He is a good man.
>
However, offering unsolicited advice to people is not "giving the shirt
off his back"; it's being a busy-body. Plus he has no sense of humor.
T
Dec 31, 2021, 3:19:23 AM12/31/21
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is Bob though.
He definitely has no sense of humor. He also does not
answer any questions you give him. And he does not
dialog. He makes statements -- sometimes pretty
wild -- and then leave the conversion.
He is the nice guy on other groups and is totally
non-pollitical, except here.
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