SB OMEGA -> HORIZON: What has fate got to do with it?
EJ
[[[Scene: SB OMEGA, Fleet Admiral Tergin’s Office]]]
[[[SD: 20.0512.1325] ]]
“You may go in now.”
The Ensign behind the desk inclined her head towards
the Fleet Commanders office. This was it. It was the
last day of the aging medic’s career. Would she miss
Starfleet? Would anyone miss her? No, she decided.
There was no one who would even notice that she was
gone. But where would she go? She had no friends, no
home, and no place to go. She was about to lose the
last thing that she had to describe herself. Kelsi
took a deep breath and walked through the door.
Admiral Tergin looked young, almost out of place
behind that large mahogany desk. His dreadlocks rested
against his cheekbones as his eyes followed her into
the room. His face was smooth and there was a gentle
smile that seemed to linger just behind his eyes.
Behind him, Gaia hung poised in the center of the
seemingly endless bank of windows, looking down on
Demeter with all its blue-green brilliance.
“Lt<Cmdr> Kelsi Biaret reporting as requested, sir.”
Her voice was soft, almost defeated.
Tergin broadened his El-Aurian smile, but to little
effect. The woman’s soul seemed resigned. His
Listener senses flared, something odd, yet
un-nameable, momentary, almost fleeting.
She handed over the PADD that Commander Fremont had
given her. It contained his final psychobabble
analysis and his recommendation for them to kick her
to the curb. Why couldn’t they just leave her alone
in the medbay? Why did he insist on trying to rehash
everything over and over and over? She wasn’t going
to tell. That had been the only condition when
Temporal Investigations dropped their inquiry. She
needed to assume her position within this timeline and
never reveal to anyone, for any reason, that she was
actually a displacement.
Tergin took his time reading through the reports.
Every so often, he eyes would flick up and meet Kel’s.
She sat in one of the oversized chair adjacent to the
Fleet CO and tried to prepare herself to hear the
inevitable.
He read:
//////////// ///////// ///////// ///////// ///////// //////
-------<Begin Amendments to Official Record> ---------
---<<<<<BEGIN REPORT>>>>>- --
**SD: 12.0124**
**Subject: Command Grade Testing**
After an intensive training sim and psycho-evaluation
carried out by Captain John Nash, FO Lt.Cmdr Peridu
Watanaui and CNS Lt. Ian MacGregor. The ship's CMO
Lt<jg> Kelsi Biaret is promoted to the rank of full
Lt. and awarded the position of 2O of the USS
COCHRANE.
Lt. Biaret performed admirably in one of the most
difficult scenarios devised for Command Grade
Training. Despite the fact that the victory conditions
and mission parameters were constantly changed without
her knowledge, she never stopped giving less than
100%. Even when faced with the final no win scenario,
she showed the determination required of a Command
Officer and I am proud to have her on my team.
Captain (Colonel) John Nash
CO USS COCHRANE
---<<<<<END OF REPORT>>>>>- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
---<<<<<BEGIN REPORT>>>>>- --
**SD: 15.0225**
**Subject: Leave of Absence (ORDERED)**
Lt<Cmdr> Kelsi Biaret has been diagnosed with a form
of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This
diagnosis is consistent for individuals experiencing
the loss of extremely close comrades following some
sort of deviation from the social norms of ‘What’s
Right.’ Doctor Biaret has resisted all attempts to
confront this incident, however it has been determined
that the rogue SF Intel officer Morand was somehow
directly involved with these instigating circumstances
as was the USS COCHRANE’s timeloop itself.
All records that I have uncovered for the incident
involving the USS COCHRANE’s encounter with the Marine
Vessel USS MONTGOMERY seem to be Highly Classified by
SF Temporal Investigations. Without her co-operation,
I am unable to determine the causative factors for her
PTSD, and treatment is at a standstill. I recommend a
one year leave of absence for Kelsi to sort out her
own feelings followed by a two year intensive therapy
program here at SB OMEGA.
Commander Jackson Fremont
Senior Psychologist, Fleet Retention, SB OMEGA
**Follow up: Recommendation taken by Fleet Admiral
Erin M. O'Connor - SD: 15.0301**
**Subject ORDERED on LOA**
---<<<<<END OF REPORT>>>>>- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
---<<<<<BEGIN REPORT>>>>>- --
**SD: 18.0510**
**Subject: Recommendation to Return to Active Duty**
Lt<Cmdr> Kelsi Biaret has completed a two year
intensive therapy program for individuals suffering
from Complex PTSD. While she seems to be progressing
forward with regards to emotion, she continues to
become evasive when the incident involving the USS
MONTGOMERY is broached. She does suffer intrusive
memories from time to time.
Her skills as a doctor are still sharp, and she seems
to enjoy the time she spends working in OMEGA’s
Medical Dome. There is a possibility that re-entry
into the fleet could provide some restorative factors
to her psyche. Doctor Biaret describes a feeling of
‘hollowness’ and/or ‘emptiness’ most of the time. She
does not appear to be as outgoing as she once was, and
tends to isolate herself from others, both physically
and emotionally. Re-entry into the fleet may provide
the ideal environment to begin recovery in these
associated areas. I recommend returning Lt<Cmdr>
Biaret to active duty, either as an assistant or full
CMO.
Commander Jackson Fremont
Senior Psychologist, Fleet Retention, SB OMEGA
**Follow up: Recommendation taken by Fleet Admiral
Erin M. O'Connor - SD: 18.0522**
**Subject assigned to the USS HORIZON as CMO under CO
Captain Burke**
---<<<<<END OF REPORT>>>>>- --
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
---<<<<<BEGIN REPORT>>>>>- --
**SD: 20.0501**
**Subject: Recommendation for Discharge on Medical
Disability**
Upon completion of a second two year therapy period,
Lt<Cmdr> Kelsi Biaret does NOT, in my opinion, appear
to be progressing any further in her recovery. She
suffers from a form of Complex PTSD stemming from the
USS COCHRANE’s encounter with the Marine Vessel USS
MONTGOMERY. She refuses to allow others to assist her
in this recovery and is prone to mood swings,
argumentative outbursts, and intrusional memories.
There have been several sessions where these
intrusional memories are more real to her than her
actual surroundings. She refuses to allow herself to
feel emotions towards this incident and has become
confrontational when directed to so.
Previous attempts to integrate the Lt<Cmdr> back into
the fleet have failed and I do not feel that she will
ever recover substantially further then she currently
has. I recommend a full discharge from Starfleet on
the grounds of Medical Disability.
Commander Jackson Fremont
Senior Psychologist, Fleet Retention, SB OMEGA
---<<<<<END OF REPORT>>>>>- --
--------<End Amendments to Official Record> ----------
//////////// ///////// ///////// ///////// ///////// ///////
Pausing, Tergin laid the PADD onto the desk in front
of him. He looked towards Kel, but her pale eyes held
no reaction. It was almost as if she had already
accepted his decision. The only thing was, he hadn’t
made that decision yet. He held Dr. Biaret’s fate,
not Cmdr Fremont.
“Do you know what the report in this PADD recommends?”
“Aye. Commander Fremont feels I should be stripped of
my commission.”
“What do you think?”
Kelsi looked down for a moment, and then raised her
grey eyes to meet his, “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know or you don’t wish to share?”
She swallowed slightly. “I think he wishes to make me
someone else’s problem.”
“Are you a problem?”
“Probably.” The loss of self-worth seemed to echo in
Tergin’s ears. He sighed inwardly. He extended his
Listeners’ sense, in the tradition of his people; he
tried to seek out her roots.
“Speak to me commander. I have very conflicting
reports here. On one hand, I have an outstanding
assessment of you from Colonel Nash and on the other;
I have Fleet Retention recommending that we let you
go.”
Kelsi’s eyes betrayed her for a moment. Nash’s name
caught in her throat as she tried to swallow the
emotion away. “What do you want me to say?”
“I want to know,” he paused and caught her eye,
“honestly,” another pause, “if there is any part of
you that wants to stay… wants to fight… wants to
recover. Your passion and drive once caught the
attention of one of this fleet's finest captains.”
Kel’s chin lifted slightly like she was going to
interrupt, but Tergin held up a hand. He continued,
“Agree with him or not, like him or not, he was still
one of our finest commanding officers. He retained
and still retains a loyalty that some can only strive
for. He had your loyalty once, and you had his. If
that drive is still in there, somewhere, then we have
reason to keep talking. But if it is not, I should
approve these recommendations and send you on your
way.”
Kelsi looked down. This was getting much more
confusing that she had anticipated. Emotions that she
held back, damned up, and tried to ignore, seemed so
ready to leak out. Emotions were dangerous though.
The only emotion she allowed herself was anger.
His voice was soft and seemed to creep around all the
barriers. She had prepared for an angry Fleet
Commander, not one who wanted to talk. Why did
everyone just want to talk?
“You’re just going to throw me away, what does it
matter?
“You matter.” Tergin dropped the PADD, stood, and
taking several steps he rounded the desk and proceeded
to lean backwards upon it.
“No I don’t” Kel returned.
“If you believe that, then you don’t belong here. *I*
don’t believe it and *I* don’t think you believe it.
I think you are scared, hurting, and want run, to take
the easy route out. You want to allow me to make your
decision for you.”
“It didn’t work last time, why would it work this
time” Kelsi countered.
“You didn’t try last time.”
“YES I DID!”
Tergin picked up a different PADD this time. He tossed
it into Kelsi’s lap. It contained the report from the
Horizon before she was sent back to OMEGA.
She read:
//////////// ///////// ///////// ///////// ///////// ///////
------------ ---<USS HORIZON STAFF REPORT>
------------ -
**SD: 18.0605**
**Subject: Lt<Cmdr> Kelsi Biaret**
Cmdr. Biaret is a competent officer, though she seems
to lack any sort of personal desire to accomplish more
than her job at a very basic level. She is often
combative with the CSO. As a very demanding First
Officer I demand the highest level of excellence from
my officers… and usually I would not hesitate to
request her reassignment. However there is something
here. I can sense a brilliance that has been lost, a
brilliance that doesn’t allow me dismiss this one
quite so easily. I wish I could put into some
language of ration or reason what draws my Mystic eye
to gaze upon her, but I cannot. I can offer no
further explanation than I know this woman has a
potential and drive that if unleashed would create one
of the finest officers the Cocoon has seen.
That is why I respectfully deny the request of
Starfleet Medical to recall her temporarily. At the
moment, the need for her potential is too great.
Commander Nova’Song
XO USS HORIZON
------------ ----<END USS HORIZON REPORT>
------------ --
//////////// ///////// ///////// ///////// ///////// ///////
Kel put the PADD down slowly. She’d never known the
woman had felt that way. She barely thought the
mystic of the horizon knew she existed, let alone that
she had made an impression on the woman. She wondered
if what the Mystic wrote was true.
“It must be true,” Tergin said, “otherwise she
wouldn’t have written it.” He paused. “Do you know
the history of the Mystics or the Listeners?” He
asked, wondering if the woman would look at him this
time.
She did not. She shook her head and kept her eyes on
the PADD.
Tergin smiled. “Well, it’s very ancient indeed. The
Indarans, Commander Nova’Song’s people, have a saying:
‘that which a mind sees as reality, it makes
reality’….”
Fleeting memories returned to her of this Mystic.
They had spoken briefly several times, but the memory
of her presence was something that Kelsi had tried,
with all her heart, to forget these last two years.
Cmdr. Nova’Song had held her, held her without
physical arms, but held her all the same, by just
being present. It was confusing, disorientating, and
yet where she had so often felt a hallow, there was
something more, something soft, something beautiful,
something she could barely remember as being part of
her.
They sat in silence. Moments passed like hours.
“What is it you seek Commander? Is it the reality of
a crew like family that cares? Or do you find the
prospect of forming those bonds too difficult again?
I think you already know the answer; otherwise you
wouldn’t still be sitting here. You wouldn’t have
cared to respond to my request to meet with you before
your discharge, had your mind not already seen another
reality, one that it might wish to make real once
again… The Mystic might be able to help you, in a way
the other doctors couldn’t. I know she would take
you, if you were interested…”
Without looking at his face, his voice had become much
older, the seriousness of his words sounded distant
and stern. His eyes remained friendly, a grin ready
to greet the woman did she choose to wake up. Tergin
sat back, he waited for her answers.
Distant words came back to Kel, words that she had
pushed away, **You must risk these hollows in order to
fill them. You must allow those here, to become
potential sources of loss, for them to be the
potential to fill that void you carry. You are an
equal here, if you allow yourself to be.**
How could she be an equal, when she wasn’t supposed to
even be alive? She didn’t allow herself equality.
**The stars have written this crew to be one of the
most legendary in recent history, and you are destined
to be a part of it.** She hadn’t been sure that she
wanted to be part of it, to be part of anything, but
the idea of a second chance had never crossed her
mind.
** Do not continue to let the rivers of time and space
to flow by you, while you think you are standing
still. We all must paddle, and all must struggle, for
these are the ways of mortals. The deepest voids of
our hearts are greater than any we may find in space,
and will consume us equally as quickly.**
The small Orion choked on the words as they came
flooding back to her, along with the impression of
belonging. THAT is what it was! For the first time in
memory, since being on the COCHRANE, the Mystic had
allowed her to feel like she *could* belong, that she
*could* be part of something, but instead she had run.
Maybe there was something to this whole semblance of
fate. She had run from the HORIZON, run from herself,
but just when it seemed she was out of its reach, and
isolated from everything around her, there it was
calling to her. It was like she was being called to
come home.
Kel’s breath caught slightly, and a small gasp escaped
her lips. She raised those grey eyes to meet the
Admiral’s, and in them, he could see the world.
Something in the Mystic’s words had struck her, evoked
in her over time and space that which had been eluding
her. His aged El-Aurian eyes looked deep into the
grey planets that before had seemed so dead, and for
the first time he saw the spark that Nova’Song had
sensed; it was so fleeting it seemed like a dream, yet
so bright, it seemed irresistible.
For her part, Kelsi saw a Listener’s wisdom, like
comfort that reminded her of the Mystic. His eyes
smiled as if he’d known all along, like a joke she was
just getting. But it was kinder than that, more
familiar. More importantly, Kel saw the possibility
of a new beginning; a real beginning.
Tergin’s kind face with old eyes held is signature
grin as he leaned slightly forward. They both took a
breath together.
It was almost inaudible, “I want to matter.”
The El-Aurian let out his breath, as the woman before
him seemed to collapse back into her chair at the
realization. In her collapse however, there was a
reinvigorated strength.
Tergin said, almost equally as inaudible, “That was
all I needed to know.”
His grin broadened. Kelsi didn’t know it was possible
to smile like that. Tergin’s face seemed to reflect
the light in his eyes. He pulled a third PADD from
the surface of his mahogany desk and handed it towards
the doc. With trembling fingers, she reached out and
grasped its surface. And there before her eyes, now
glistening with moisture, were orders to report to the
HORIZON. Had he known what was going to happen even
before she stepped foot into his office, or did
another PADD hidden in his stack contain orders for
her dismissal?
“I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything,” Tergin’s eyes were
smiling. “I’ve had that PADD a long time. In fact,
you were away so long, I thought the Mystic’s wisdom
might have been mistaken.”
A numbing shock that had streaks of excitement coursed
through her body. How did they know? Could the
Mystic see the future? Something felt surreal.
“The Mystic of the Horizon is wise, and works in
mysterious ways. They are legendary guides, and she
may know how to direct you to the beginning of your
path.”
Kelsi stood slowly, her legs threatening to falter
beneath her slight weight. Her eyes darted towards
the Admiral, back down to the orders, and then up
again. She took a deep breath as she made her way
towards the door. She had been prepared to be
stripped raw, to have the last piece of personal
definition removed from her. She was not prepared for
this.
The Admiral clasped her hand. Though trembling, the
El-Aurian could sense a budding excitement at the
prospect of the new journey.
“New beginnings, like endings, are always hard. I
have confidence that you’re strong enough for this
one. Congratulations Lieutenant Commander Kelsi
Biaret, Chief Medical Officer of USS HORIZON.”
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----[[[Scene:
SB OMEGA, Shuttle Bay 2, D-Warp Hanger]]]
[[[Time: Later that Day]]]
Kelsi sat with a duffel at her feet. All her worldly
items could fit within that one small bag. Most of the
items that had meant the most to the small doc were
lost when the COCHRANE from her timeline was
destroyed. She never was able to come to terms with
taking her alternates’ belongings and so they had been
left behind. Since that time, little that she
possessed ever meant anything to her. Nothing felt
important, and nothing felt like it was truly hers.
She tended to travel light. Her personal medkit was
freshly stocked, thanks to approval from OMEGA’s
Quartermaster and the Medical Dome’s Supply Clerk.
She had downloaded the last year’s worth of medical
and science advances from the Cocoon Fleet News’
subscription to the journal ‘Galactic Nature.’ It
filled multiple PADDS, which Kel had tossed into her
bag, and would provide her with adequate reading
during the long D-Warp trip ahead. The PADDS
comingled with several isolinear rods that Cmdr.
Fremont had given her, which contained several
holodeck therapy programs of his design. A black
leather jacket rounded out her belongings.
Cmdr. Fremont had scowled at her when she returned to
his office, to collect the programs. He must have
already heard the news; the Fleet Admiral had
disregarded his recommendations, and ordered her back
into the fleet. Either way, she didn’t remain there
any longer than was necessary to obtain the rods and
the access codes to run them. It was something about
the programs being personalized psychobabble… and
…could do more harm then good to unintended patients.
Apparently, they were voice and DNA encoded as well.
Beside the Orion doc sat two other individuals whose
destination also lay with the USS HORIZON. There was
a young Bolian female who was assigned to helm relief
and a not so young, but very attractive, male Juun.
Seemed he was to be assigned somewhere in Engineering.
They chatted away without a care in the world.
Innocence or naivety?
The D-Warp shuttle VERTIGO was running through its
final prelaunch checklist. They would hopefully be
ready to board their passengers shortly and then be on
their way. The HORIZON had engaged a new course at
high warp; and until OMEGA received their destination
coordinates, the VERTIGO would be grounded. Once the
destination was set, the D-Warp shuttle could not
change it enroute. That was part of the nature of
D-Warp. She had read a paper on it once, but not
being an engineer, it was difficult just getting
through several of the more basic concepts of this
mode of transport.
“We’ve got coordinates.” The pilot called out into the
bay.
Kelsi stood, along with the two other passengers, as
the pilot motioned them to board the vessel.
“This everyone?”
The pilot looked around. He didn’t want to miss anyone
as several other D-Warp vessels within the bay were
also prepping for launch.
“A’right, let’s git a movin’ folks. We want to git
y’all there lickity-split.”
…
[NRPG- Sean … want a ride? Or you jumping the next
one?]
____________ _________ _____
Jointly Submitted
-----=/\=--- --
With Wings of Light
Lt<Cmdr> Kelsi Biaret
-----=/\=--- --
EJ
-and-
Listen to the Universe,
Fleet Admiral Tergin
Fleet CO, Cocoon Fleet