New Human Resources Form

[Craig 'Lumpy' Lemke]

Please answer the following question:
Are you an asshole? []Yes []No

If you answered NO above, do not continue to fill
out this application. Ed isn't capable of dealing
with any personalities that clash with his. We value
Ed's employment here and would do anything to
keep him. Seems like he'll never retire because
he keeps buying creature comforts. So we suggest
you NOT keep trying to apply here at Workplace-R-Us.

Consider perhaps, going to some more real world place of
business where they not only accept but encourage employee
personality variety, since that more closely matches the
way humans interact in life.

Best of Luck

The HR dept