post thsi mwessage
js
from Poison.
From: "Glen" <gNOSPA...@ix.netcomNOSPAM.com>
Subject: Some old, some new
Date: Monday, November 23, 2009 8:33 AM
The drummer Tom Fogerty has died. He wakes up and finds himself on a
stage on
which a number of instruments are set up. A door offstage opens and in
walk
Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Brian Jones, John Lennon, Otis Redding, and
Buddy
Holly. Each musician picks up his favorite instrument and begins tuning
up.
All of the instruments are taken but, to Tom's immense pleasure, the drums.
He walks up to Jimi and says, "Man, so this is what heaven is like." Jimi
looks at him and says, "Heaven? You think this is heaven?" At that
moment,
Karen Carpenter walks in, takes her seat behind the drums, and calls out,
"Okay guys, 'Close to You'. One, two, three, four..."
-----
What do you call a drummer who doesn't have a girlfriend?
Homeless.
---
What does it mean when there is drool running out of both sides
of the drummer's mouth?
The stage is level.
---
How do you get a guitarist to play quieter?
Put sheet music in front of them.
---
What do you call someone that hangs out with musicians?
A vocalist.
---
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat miner.
---
How do you get two horns to play in unison?
Break one of them.
---
What's the difference between a puppy and a female vocalist?
Pat a puppy on the head and it quits whining.
-----
What's the difference between a large pizza and a jazz musician?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
--
What does a drummer use for contraception?
His personality.
---
An explorer was traveling through deepest, darkest Africa with a native
guide. Off in the distance he heard drums pounding. The explorer was
visibly worried, so his guide told him, "There's nothing to worry about.
When the drums stop, then it's time to worry." Gradually the drums
got louder, then all of a sudden, they stopped. With a trembling voice,
the explorer asked his guide what would happen next. With a trembling
voice, the guide answered, "bass solo".
----
Why did the drummer leave his sticks on the dashboard?
So he could park in the handicapped parking spot.
----
Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant
that can store and play music. The " iTit " will cost from
$499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This is
considered a major social breakthrough, because women are
always complaining about men staring at their breasts and
not listening to them.
js
"js" <not...@nothing.com> wrote in message
news:heg60c$366$1...@news.eternal-september.org...
Tim
> Wy does Tom Foggarty have to die? In my drunken tellings, it's Rikki Rocket
> from Poison.
"post thsi mwessage "
Oh man, that looks like something I'd type!
Hey I love the Fogerty joke.
js
error message that there was no subject. So I got pissed off and made on
quick, not expecting it to go through...
"Tim" <tsch...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1e6ff7f3-9107-4d1e...@f20g2000vbl.googlegroups.com...
Tim
> Every time I tried to reply to something last night, I kept getting an
> error message that there was no subject. So I got pissed off and made on
> quick, not expecting it to go through...
>
>
> - Show quoted text -
LOL!
Been there!
Tim
> from Poison.
What's the musical definition of a "Tri-tone?
Three fretless players in unision.