OT: Clean Kids' Jokes Corner

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danco...@home.com

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Jan 17, 2002, 10:50:59 AM1/17/02
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"Clean", as opposed to the one about dad's car being parked in mom's
garage. Help me out here.

Ex.: How do you know when a pony is sick?
He's a little hoarse.

Dan

Miles O'Neal

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Jan 17, 2002, 6:13:17 PM1/17/02
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OK, but what are you looking for? Random
jokes? Web sites? Just a new thread?
And what age kids?

The very first book I checked out of a library
as a wee lad was a book of jokes. things
like:

What did one firecracker say to the other?
My pop's bigger than your pop!

What did the wall say to the other wall?
I'll meet you at the corner.

Boy's Life Magazine has a bunch every
issue, from riddles to Tom Swifties
to books never written to really short
book titles, etc.

Why did the astronaut go to the doctor?
A bad case of mistletoe.

And we make up our own:

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.

Why did the chicken cross the church aisle?
To get to the other bride.

Why did the chicken cross the Indian reservation?
To get to the other guide.

Why did the chicken cross the taxidermy store?
To get to the other hide.

Why did the chicken cross the bus depot?
To get to the other ride.

And so forth. Most kids love these sorts of
things, since they have a handle on where to
go next.

-Miles

Miles O'Neal

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Jan 17, 2002, 6:26:26 PM1/17/02
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|And we make up our own:
|
| Why did the chicken cross the playground?
| To get to the other slide.

Another series we made up as our kids got
older was based on the famous line, "What
we have here is a failure to communicate."
It can take the form of merely using a
variant at the appropriate time (kids gags
because doesn't like some food, or chokes
on something: "What we have here is a failure
to regurgitate"), or you can just sit around
and try to pop out with them, or make up
riddles.

What did the Pope say when Martin Luther's
friends kidnapped him?
``What we have here is a failure to excommunicate.''

What did the city council say when the
mayor didn't show up at the meeting?
``What we have here is a failure to officiate.''

What did we say when we realized our saving account
wasn't growing?
``What we have here is a failure to appreciate.''

It can be fun to adapt various voices for these,
or to insist they are done in the same voice as
the original. For instance, the Pope joke is
even funnier that way.

-Miles

danco...@home.com

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Jan 18, 2002, 12:32:46 AM1/18/02
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On 17 Jan 2002 17:13:17 -0600, m...@gort.rru.com (Miles O'Neal) wrote
[excerpted]:

>
>OK, but what are you looking for? Random
>jokes? Web sites? Just a new thread?
>And what age kids?
>

Yes, random (haha funny) jokes. I can see you've refined this kids
jokes business down to a science.

>The very first book I checked out of a library
>as a wee lad was a book of jokes. things
>like:
>

The first book I remember borrowing from the liberry was "The
Abominable Snowman: The True Story of Yeti". It had photographs,
too. Come to think of it, I never did return that.


> What did one firecracker say to the other?
> My pop's bigger than your pop!
>
> What did the wall say to the other wall?
> I'll meet you at the corner.

On the latter joke, Georgia's (9yrs) comment was: "That's not
funny."

>
>Boy's Life Magazine has a bunch every
>issue, from riddles to Tom Swifties
>to books never written to really short
>book titles, etc.
>

And they had a fantastic editorial page, as I remember from the
dentist's office. Are they glossy now? Probably not.


> Why did the chicken cross the taxidermy store?
> To get to the other hide.

I'll try this one tomorrow and get back to you.
>

>
>And so forth. Most kids love these sorts of
>things, since they have a handle on where to
>go next.
>
>-Miles

I do appreciate the response, dad.

Dan

Miles O'Neal

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Jan 18, 2002, 2:12:32 AM1/18/02
to
In article <3c47b217.133661768@news>, <danco...@home.com> wrote:
|Yes, random (haha funny) jokes. I can see you've refined this kids
|jokes business down to a science.

Nah, just lots of time in on it.

|> What did the wall say to the other wall?
|> I'll meet you at the corner.
| On the latter joke, Georgia's (9yrs) comment was: "That's not
|funny."

That;s why I wondered about age range.
I was 5 when I thought that joke clever
(not funny, but clever).

|I do appreciate the response, dad.
|
|Dan

Mais oui, fellow pop.

Matt Seniff

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Jan 18, 2002, 9:42:01 AM1/18/02
to
On 17 Jan 2002 17:13:17 -0600, m...@gort.rru.com (Miles O'Neal) wrote:

>In article <3c46f4e5.85220606@news>, <danco...@home.com> wrote:
>|"Clean", as opposed to the one about dad's car being parked in mom's
>|garage. Help me out here.
>|
>|Ex.: How do you know when a pony is sick?
>|He's a little hoarse.
>
>OK, but what are you looking for? Random
>jokes? Web sites? Just a new thread?
>And what age kids?
>
>The very first book I checked out of a library
>as a wee lad was a book of jokes. things
>like:

Well other than the Cowboy Sam series an early book for me was Mr
Wizard's Science Projects (I think that's the name) when I was around
7 or so. It contained all the usual things like potatoes and iodine,
baking soda and vinegar etc. but also had a make your own fireworks
section. Now my family always celebrated the 4th of July with
fireworks so it seemed a natural step for my mom and I to make up some
in the basement from chemicals my dad got at work. Some were pretty
harmless like snakes and smoke bombs but there was also a recipe for
flash powder which we made as well (apparently not knowing how
dangerous it was since I remember my mom smoking cigs the whole time).
My dad then decided to drop it into a campfire which turned into a 12
foot tall column of white hot flames with my dads hand still in the
middle. I tried to stop him since I had read the safety precautions
about always using a fuse (we made our own) but to this day I still
get the blame. matt

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