alt.guinea.pig.conspiracy FAQ

[Rev. 11D Meow!]

http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Vault/5736/agpcfaq.html

[tahr...@gmail.com]

On Tuesday, 1 June 2004 03:02:15 UTC+1, Rev. 11D Meow! wrote:
> http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Vault/5736/agpcfaq.html

I wonder if this ever got backed up anywhere ... I know there were some "rescue geocities!" efforts made, which I even participated in. Maybe I'll have to see if my semi-randomised auto-downloader caught Area51/Vault/5736...

[pony...@gmail.com]

On Monday, May 31, 2004 10:02:15 PM UTC-4, Rev. 11D Meow! wrote:
> http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Vault/5736/agpcfaq.html

http://web.archive.org/web/20011203222433/http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Vault/5736/agpcfaq.html

Short Description:
They're here for a reason. It's been kept quiet UNTIL NOW...

Long Description:
This group will serve a couple of purposes. Its primary purpose, as I see it, is to provide a place for creative discussion centered on the "Evil Guinea Pig Threat." This will be the basis, hopefully, for short, creative bits of "paranoid fiction."

Hopefully, with time, a mythos will be created, which will have as a part of it a history of the Guinea Pig Conspiracy. When did they start their plotting? What is their purpose and intent? What steps are they taking to achieve their diabolical goals? Just how do they get out of their cages when you're not there, to go to their secret meetings? What goes on at these meetings?

You get the point. I think there's a LOT of room in this topic for cool stories and ideas. Please follow up as soon as possible, so that I'll know what you folks think of my "pet idea."

Mason L. Bliss - Mac hacker and (recently) UNIX junkie

Overview
alt.guinea.pig.conspiracy is a usenet forum for imaginative entertainment.

Because of the large amount of "SPAM" (irrelevant cross-postings) that this group receives we recommand that all legitimate messages put "[AGPC]" at the beginning of the subject line.
It is our contention that guinea pigs are trying to take over the world, and invade all households. After all, do you own your guinea pigs or do they own you? I site this tragic example from Gary Graham:
"[Guinea] Pigs are completely insidious. My friend started out with one, and before we knew it we owned about 5 (It's hard to keep count of them when they cloud your mind.) Our Saturday nights were spent locating high quality produce at bargain prices!"

Contributors are encouraged to come up with their own evidence that proves this theory. As with any conspiracy theory, overlook any data that doesn't fit.
Examples:
Most people place their guinea pigs in rooms with convenient access to telephones and computers -- coincidence or conspiracy?
That tapping noise the guinea pig makes while drinking from the water bottle is really secret code.
If you smell ammonia coming from the cage you cleaned just a few days earlier it is because the guinea pigs have been manufacturing and stock-piling chemical weapons for the day of the Great Invasion.
Obese politicians are really guinea pigs in disguise.
Guinea pigs were responsible for the 1947 UFO crash in Roswell, New Mexico.
Peru is reported to be a hotbed of both UFO and guinea pig activity
Parsley is put on plates in restaurants to placate guinea pigs (who are hiding everywhere ).
Your guinea pigs have inserted a microchip in your brain which will cause you incredible pain (grief) if anything happens to them.
Guinea Pigs are not rodents. According to a 1991 study they are more closely related to humans. This is according to the Associated Press!

Guinea pigs (a.k.a. cavies) use mind control to manipulate humans. Their "wheep" sound is used to induce people to run to the refrigerator to feed guinea pigs (their future overlords) fresh produce.

The guinea pig conspiracy is controlled through an organization called the Galaxian Council. Little is known about them. For more information on the Galaxian Council check out Global Thermo

Sample Guinea Pig Sound Effects:
Wheep
Whoot
Chuff, chuff
Purrr
When Guinea Pigs Write

When guinea pigs type messages they tend to either be in all UPPER CASE or RaNDoM cASe.

UPPERCASE
THEY TYPE THIS WAY BECAUSE, WHEN THEY TYPE BY WALKING ON THE KEYBOARD, THEY CAN'T USE THE SHIFT KEY SO THEY JUST LEAVE THE CAPS LOCK ON. ALSO, THEY REALLY ARE SHOUTING!
(You can tell your cavy has been using your computer because they tend to leave "jellybeans" all over the keyboard.)

RaNDoM cASe

SoMETimeS thE CavIEs JuST "wHEep" iNTo tHE teLEPhoNE to SENd tHEir meSsAgEs vIa yOUr lOCAl iSp. ThEREfoRE thEir coNTroL is A bIt iRrAdIc. BuT tHis meANs thAT eVEn gUINea pIGS wiTHOUt coMPuterS caN sTILl aCCesS thE inTERnET.

Suggested Reading

Pigs is Pigs

Ellis Parker Butler's authoritative treatise on Guinea Pigs (with illustrations by Will Crawford)
Published in 1905 in American Magazine, (Colver Publishing House). It was republished in book form in April, 1906 by McClure, Phillips & Co. (My copy, published by Doubleday, Page & Co. is dated 1910.) It was republished in the 1960s in a collection.

Related Links
The Guinea-pig Resistance Movement
The Squirrel Conspiracy!!!
The Hamster Connection!!!
Global Thermonuclear Guinea Pig Conspiracy!!!
Cavies in Our SCHOOLS!
Cavies in Celtic Myth
The Guinea Pig (Lumberjack) Song
The Guinea Pig Marching Song
'Twas the Night Before Conquest
You Know You Have Cavy Fever When...
"Guinea Pig" in Other Languages
Guinea Pig FAQs
Safe Pet Bedding FAQs
Reference books on Guinea Pig Diseases
Guinea Pig Gazette
Guinea Pig Poetry and Prose
Guinea Pig Television (almost live!)
OinkerNet (with Real Audio Guinea Pigs Sounds!)
Guinea Pigs in Sweden
Comments? Contact the PagePerson
new...@winternet.com

Carpe Cavy! (Seize the guinea pig!) 1