Kill the wabbit! Kill the wabbit! Kill the wabbit!
IHCOYC XPICTOC
Easter Bunny Whipped by Pa. Church Group
Thursday, April 08, 2004
GLASSPORT, Pa. - A church trying to teach about the crucifixion of Jesus
performed an Easter show with actors whipping the Easter bunny and breaking
eggs, upsetting several parents and young children.
People who attended Saturday's performance at Glassport's memorial stadium
quoted performers as saying, "There is no Easter bunny," and described the
show
as being a demonstration of how Jesus was crucified.
Melissa Salzmann, who brought her 4-year-old son J.T., said the program was
inappropriate for young children.
"He was crying and asking me why the bunny was being whipped," Salzmann
said.
Patty Bickerton, the youth minister at Glassport Assembly of God (search),
said
the performance wasn't meant to be offensive. Bickerton portrayed the Easter
rabbit and said she tried to act with a tone of irreverence.
"The program was for all ages, not just the kids. We wanted to convey that
Easter is not just about the Easter bunny, it is about Jesus Christ,"
Bickerton
said.
Performers broke eggs meant for an Easter egg hunt and also portrayed a
drunken
man and a self-mutilating woman, said Jennifer Norelli-Burke, another parent
who saw the show in Glassport, a community about 10 miles southeast of
Pittsburgh.
"It was very disturbing," Norelli-Burke said. "I could not believe what I
saw.
It wasn't anything I was expecting." --
I'm gonna eat a lot of glitter
To keep my shit from lookin' dull.
-- Dirk Hamilton
Tiny Human Ferret
> http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,116560,00.html
>
> Easter Bunny Whipped by Pa. Church Group
Damn that Mel Gibson!
--
The incapacity of a weak and distracted government may
often assume the appearance, and produce the effects,
of a treasonable correspondence with the public enemy.
--Gibbon, "Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire"
HRH Fascinet
> IHCOYC XPICTOC wrote:
> > http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,116560,00.html
> >
> > Easter Bunny Whipped by Pa. Church Group
>
> Damn that Mel Gibson!
>
Yeah, this is pretty cool.
-F
Tiny Human Ferret
Imagine what they might have done to the Lady In Green if they'd even
ever heard of her.
The Fiendish Plot of Fascinet
> HRH Fascinet wrote:
> > Tiny Human Ferret <ixnayamsp...@earthops.net> wrote in message news:<407828CB...@earthops.net>...
> >
> >>IHCOYC XPICTOC wrote:
> >>
> >>>http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,116560,00.html
> >>>
> >>>Easter Bunny Whipped by Pa. Church Group
> >>
> >>Damn that Mel Gibson!
> >>
> >
> >
> > Yeah, this is pretty cool.
>
> Imagine what they might have done to the Lady In Green if they'd even
> ever heard of her.
>
Your talents are being wasted.
Go into porn.
-F
Tiny Human Ferret
Great, just great. I finally find a competent career advisor, and
finally discover my true calling, just a day or two after the government
announces a crackdown.
Treatment copyright 2004 TJH InterNet SP of Rockville MD:
Treatment Title: "Xian Dominators v. Ostara"
Scene I
Ostara, the europagan goddess of Spring and Fertility -- traditionally
celebrated the Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox
-- is out wandering the world bringing blossoms and buds to the earth.
She appears to be just under 30, just a smidgen plump, clearly a fertile
fertility goddess, and dressed to the nines in green, with a truly
amazing hat dripping with flowers and herbs.
A bunny crosses her path in full flight from a 50-ish man bearing a book
in one hand, a scourge in the other hand, and he's dressed in clerical
garb.
Minister: Damn rabbit! Easter's not about you, it's about the murder of
Christ!
Ostara, throws herself in the path of the madman.
Ostara: Desist, you maniac! This bunny is sacred to me!
M: A sacred bunny? And who might you be?
O: I am Ostara, goddess of the springtime and of fertility and renewal.
And this bunny is sacred to me because it's a symbol of fertility, as
are these flowers and those eggs.
M: Fertility? What's this pagan nonsense?
O: Did you not hear the word "goddess"?
M: Well, you have quite a figure but I wouldn't use the word "goddess".
Though I'd say that "fertility" would certainly come to mind. Speaking
of fertility, and coming...
O: What, it's not enough that you're after my bunny, you're after my
pussy too?
M: <wolf whistle>
O: Well, if it keeps you from whacking at my rabbit. And what's with
that whip? You know, if you beat a fertility symbol that's really bad
magic, you'll invoke a destruction of nature.
M: Who cares! Nature is ours to dominate, thus sayeth the Lord!
O: Which lord? I certainly didn't get that memo!
M: But it is written, and it's written right here! (thumps bible)
O: Let me see that. (magically absorbs entire content) Now who wrote
this? What committee of loons? If you believe that, no wonder you're
running around dressed in black and whipping the Ostara Bunny! and
speaking of which, it's a lot more difficult this year to bring the
greening. So much of the land is damaged, and my sister the Sea tells me
it's much worse for her. Is this the result of your "subduing"?
M: The Lord tells us to fill up the land from sea to sea and to have
more descendants upon the land than there are stars in the sky.
O: More than the stars in the sky? There's not enough surface on this
world, you'd have to stack people several layers deep. Or maybe shrink
the people, or... hey! What are you doing!
M: Slut! Submit to the word of the Lord! Or be scourged!
O: Slut did you say? and get your hands off of me, idiot. If you scourge
Ostara, who will bring the springtime?
M: Jesus will rise and bring the springtime!
O: Um, how's he going to rise when he's already ascended to heaven,
according to your book?
M: Blasphemy! Heresy! Tits!
O: Ow! Careful with that whip, you idiot!
M: Submit, submit! Yeeargh!
Minister rends his garments, about waist high, and flicks his whip to
wrap it around Ostara and bring her within his grasp.
O: Well, if you want to do a traditional invocation and fertility rite,
why not just ask nicely?
M: (incoherencies)
O: Um, so you want it rough? Well, you've come to the right goddess.
April showers descend in a lightning-filled drenching. The Minister
sheds his rent garment and begins to pursue Ostara, who is also drenched
and sheds her raiment. Predictable yet tastefully filmed fertility
rituals follow in assorted scenic tableaus. For comic relief, assorted
witticisms from the goddess, delivered at appropriate times and timing,
finally bring the Minister to something like sanity and he vows to
abandon his mad pursuit of bunny-flagellation and ecological
destruction. Ostara takes him for a walk through her world to see the
damage done to the Earth by the internalization of the concept that the
world is the property of, and to be dominated by, man. Finally convinced
of the wisdom of the Lady in Green, their rapprochement is confirmed
with epic sex, a mystically speeded pregnancy, and the birth of the
Summer God.