I hate beautiful goth bois

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Edvamp

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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Just a short rant. At the club last night there was this guy I know. Over the
course of the night I saw him snog at least 5 or 6 different women. All of
them gorgeous, some of them women I liked. They gave him backrubs, scratched
his neck, played with his hair. Then when an ex-girlfriend shows up at the
club, he has the audacity to be depressed. Guys like that need to have my life
for one month and they will then truly appreciate what they've got. When it
gets too easy for them, when they know they can have pretty much any girl
there, they forget just how fucking awesome that is. I would love to be like
that, even just for awhile. And if that makes me shallow, then fuck it, I'd
rather be shallow than alone.


Ever and Always
Edvamp


Bem

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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I know exactly what you mean. I know most of the beautifull girls
around here and, somehow, they all like me. With some there is even
some cuddling once in a while. But every evening I go home alone. And
that sucks. Big time. But I don't want to be shallow. If I could be
shallow, maybe I would have gotten one home at some point by now...
Sex I can have on my own (sort of), I crave love.

Btw, the worst is when a friend tells you he has been to bed with a
girl you really like, and you just sit there smiling and hoping he
would shut up and go away and die or something.


Bem
--
We are not in the least bit afraid of ruins.
We are going to inherit the earth.
The bourgouise may blast and ruin their world,
before they leave the stage of history,
but we carry a new world in our hearts.

karl...@my-deja.com

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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Where's truth in beauty?

You know what Ed? I would trade everything to have been alone and not
have experienced that glimpse of a beautiful relationship. It tears
you up and spits you out. Now it has taken me a year to start
flirting and you know what? I would say that at least 95% of the time
it is successful. But here is the kicker.... you never seem to be
happy or complete because your heart is not in it. You feel like shit,
a slut, a
monster. I would have to say that I would rather receive no attention
then for me just giving some girl a sexy smile and a slow blink. I'm
not saying that I am attractive, but it's all how you play it. Ah I
don't even know why I am rambling about this.
Take Care
Karl Rose


Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.

Miss Simon

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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Edvamp <edv...@aol.comKILLKILL> wrote in message
news:20000206071043...@ng-fd1.aol.com...

> Just a short rant. At the club last night there was this guy I know.
Over the
> course of the night I saw him snog at least 5 or 6 different women. All
of
> them gorgeous, some of them women I liked. They gave him backrubs,
scratched
> his neck, played with his hair. Then when an ex-girlfriend shows up at
the
> club, he has the audacity to be depressed. Guys like that need to have my
life
> for one month and they will then truly appreciate what they've got. When
it
> gets too easy for them, when they know they can have pretty much any girl
> there, they forget just how fucking awesome that is. I would love to be
like
> that, even just for awhile. And if that makes me shallow, then fuck it,
I'd
> rather be shallow than alone.

I *so* know where you are coming from. For most of my life, I have been
sitting almost permenantly in the "friend" category, and on the rare
occasions when I do find someone special, they eventually decide that they
like being friends with me so much they don't want to risk it by trying to
be more. Only once have I found anyone who wanted to be more, and I got so
scared by the idea that someone found me attractive, I fucked it up
deliberately (well, subconsciously anyway) because it didn't fit with my
view of how my life was. I'd got so used to being "just friends" that I
couldn't handle it.

I've even tried being a bastard, to try and escape the "nice guys finish
last" problem, and they just find it funny that I'm acting weird.

To make things feel worse, on of my close female friends started kissing me
on thursday night during our monthly invasion of the local cheesy pop night
at the university, only to find out that she has no interest in a
relationship, she merely wants to be, and I quote, "rampant friends".

Life bites.

Miss Simon

Too miserable to think of a decent sig.
ICQ : 48694959 http://www.geocities.com/lifeloveandlipstick


Luna

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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You'd rather be shallow than be alone, eh?

Shallow relationships won't really help with that.

I mean sure, for that one night, or two nights, a week -- whatever --
you may not technically be "alone" ... but then it ends, and there you
are again.

I'd go for quality over quantity any day.

But I have to admit, being the center of an attractive group's
attention can be really nice ... esteem-boosting ... but eventually
gets annoying/tiresome/what-have-ya.


>^Luna^<
josie(at)thej-files(dot)com
http://www.thej-files.com

Edvamp

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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>To make things feel worse, on of my close female friends started kissing me
>on thursday night during our monthly invasion of the local cheesy pop night
>at the university, only to find out that she has no interest in a
>relationship, she merely wants to be, and I quote, "rampant friends".

That I could deal with and be a lot happier. The women I hang out with seem
incapable of viewing me in any ways physical or sexual. At least a "friends
with benefits" relationship would alleviate that feeling.

It's kinda what Sam Kinison said about a woman he was seeing wanting to be
friends. "Oh, so you still get to use me as an emotional tampon, tell me your
problems, bitch and moan about other guys, but we won't actually fuck?"


Ever and Always
Edvamp


K.M.S.

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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In article <87kktj$7nh$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, Luna <luna_...@my-deja.com> wrote:

> You'd rather be shallow than be alone, eh?
>
> Shallow relationships won't really help with that.
>
> I mean sure, for that one night, or two nights, a week -- whatever --
> you may not technically be "alone" ... but then it ends, and there you
> are again.

Surrounded by beautiful people who want to have a relationship with you.
Fuck what a neverending cycle of misery and despair.

>
> I'd go for quality over quantity any day.

Quantity has a quality all its own.

>
> But I have to admit, being the center of an attractive group's
> attention can be really nice ... esteem-boosting ... but eventually
> gets annoying/tiresome/what-have-ya.
>
>

Hmmmm... cause being alone gets tiresome realllllyyy quick.

Koko "who feels the sudden urge to go rip the head off a ken doll" Martin Sama

Edvamp

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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>Shallow relationships won't really help with that.

Yes, it will.

>I mean sure, for that one night, or two nights, a week -- whatever --
>you may not technically be "alone" ... but then it ends, and there you
>are again.

Long term relationships end too. But at least you had something. There is
something to remember.

>I'd go for quality over quantity any day.

I'd rather have something than nothing any day. I'm not choosing quantity
over quality. I'm saying in the absense of quality, quantity will do quite
nicely.

>But I have to admit, being the center of an attractive group's
>attention can be really nice ... esteem-boosting ... but eventually
>gets annoying/tiresome/what-have-ya.

I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.


Ever and Always
Edvamp


Deviancy

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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"Edvamp" <edv...@aol.comKILLKILL> wrote in message news:20000206172113...@ng-cq1.aol.com...

> I'd rather have something than nothing any day. I'm not choosing quantity
> over quality. I'm saying in the absense of quality, quantity will do quite
> nicely.
>
> >But I have to admit, being the center of an attractive group's
> >attention can be really nice ... esteem-boosting ... but eventually
> >gets annoying/tiresome/what-have-ya.
>
> I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

I'm living proof that you can have a good relationship with a great girl even when you're not pretty. Hell I won't even look in a fucking mirror heh. Just a matter of luck I guess

+Deviancy+


Tiny Human Ferret

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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"K.M.S." wrote:

<snips>

> Surrounded by beautiful people who want to have a relationship with you.
> Fuck what a neverending cycle of misery and despair.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I believe we have a winner of the coveted "most
astoundingly bitter sarcasm award" for 1Q 2000.

<snips>
--
"We look through a glass but darkly:
What we see is more colored by our beliefs,
than what we believe is colored by what we see."
Whom thou'st vex'd waxeth wroth: Meow. http://www.clark.net/pub/klaatu/

K.M.S.

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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> "K.M.S." wrote:
>
> <snips>
>
> > Surrounded by beautiful people who want to have a relationship with you.
> > Fuck what a neverending cycle of misery and despair.
>
> Ladies and Gentlemen, I believe we have a winner of the coveted "most
> astoundingly bitter sarcasm award" for 1Q 2000.
>

My god! Most astoundingly bitter on _alt.gothic_ *gush* *bounce* I'd like
to thank the academy.... ;)


Koko "Who also wants to thank his parents" Martin Sama

Flight (maggot)

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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Edvamp wrote:

> >But I have to admit, being the center of an attractive group's
> >attention can be really nice ... esteem-boosting ... but eventually
> >gets annoying/tiresome/what-have-ya.
>
> I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Which is the real point. The grass is always fucking greener.

Right now I wish I could go to a club without my girlfriend and not have
to spend half my time deflecting come-ons. Since my girlfriend and I
seldom can go to a club together, it has turned into me seldom going. I
mean guys hit on me all the time out of clubs, but they have the
courtesy to drop you like a hot potato if you don't instantly signal
back to them that you're interested. For some people you can walk into
a GAF club in jeans and a NIN T-shirt and still find themselves
surrounded by shallow vapid clingers. Some people, like me, who go to
clubs to hang out with people and have a good time being social I find
that I pretty much have to avoid chatting with girls I don't know, since
it's *always* interpreted as scamming.

I mean fuck, if I ask someone what they do it's because I want to know
more about them, not because I want to fuck them or am looking for a
life-mate.

Flight

Flight (maggot)

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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"K.M.S." wrote:
>
> In article <87kktj$7nh$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>, Luna <luna_...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>
> > You'd rather be shallow than be alone, eh?
> >

> > Shallow relationships won't really help with that.
> >

> > I mean sure, for that one night, or two nights, a week -- whatever --
> > you may not technically be "alone" ... but then it ends, and there you
> > are again.
>

> Surrounded by beautiful people who want to have a relationship with you.
> Fuck what a neverending cycle of misery and despair.

No, surrounded by beautiful people who are either bored with you and
looking for someone they haven't fucked yet, or by clingers who want to
be associated with you since you look cool and do nothing but pump the
most hollow and transient aspect of your self worth into something it
never should have been in the first place.

Hey, I like feeling handsome, but I get really tired of that being a
barrier to getting to know other people. Now that I have a girlfriend
it's especially frustrating that I can't get into a decent conversation
or friendly relationship with someone of the opposite sex (or any sex
that prefers men over women).

People hunting you down and wanting to be with you whether for a night
or a decade simply by virtue of your looks are not something to hold up
as prizes in the self-esteem contest with your ego. Long term
meaningful friendships are, and I have more than a few times found
myself deprived of what could have been a good friend because he/she
couldn't get over the fact that I didn't want our relationship to be
"intimate."

> >
> > I'd go for quality over quantity any day.
>

> Quantity has a quality all its own.

Yes, it leaves you feeling fat and your bowels are all runny.

You start farting a lot and suddenly no one wants to hang out with a
slut (even if you don't sleep with anyone).



> >
> > But I have to admit, being the center of an attractive group's
> > attention can be really nice ... esteem-boosting ... but eventually
> > gets annoying/tiresome/what-have-ya.

> Hmmmm... cause being alone gets tiresome realllllyyy quick.

You missed the point. Being sought due to your looks does not equal
meaningful company. It's possible to be very alone in a crowd. I can't
believe that most people in here haven't experienced that feeling.

Flight

Canticle

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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Edvamp wrote:

> Just a short rant. At the club last night there was this guy I know. Over the
> course of the night I saw him snog at least 5 or 6 different women. All of
> them gorgeous, some of them women I liked. They gave him backrubs, scratched
> his neck, played with his hair. Then when an ex-girlfriend shows up at the
> club, he has the audacity to be depressed. Guys like that need to have my life
> for one month and they will then truly appreciate what they've got. When it
> gets too easy for them, when they know they can have pretty much any girl
> there, they forget just how fucking awesome that is. I would love to be like

> that, even just for awhile. And if that makes me shallow, then fuck it, I'd
> rather be shallow than alone.

Nothing shallow about it, really, but believe me, the guy was probably
more upset than you at the fact the person he wanted to be with was
simply not interested in him. Being alone chews, but being alone in a
crowd can be just as bad.

Jeff-boy

maat

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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"Flight (maggot)" wrote:
>

<snip>

> Some people, like me, who go to
> clubs to hang out with people and have a good time being social I find
> that I pretty much have to avoid chatting with girls I don't know, since
> it's *always* interpreted as scamming.
>
> I mean fuck, if I ask someone what they do it's because I want to know
> more about them, not because I want to fuck them or am looking for a
> life-mate.

This is the reason why I am afraid of approaching people in clubs. The
possibility of rejection doesn't bother me nearly so much as this.

At least with parties, it's easier because there are no assumptions in
this direction. Because of that, I can just have a normal conversation
and see where it goes from there.

Would I like to be the center of attention? Of course. But if I was
totally gorgeous I would always be wondering. Especially since I am not
the least bit interested in laying total strangers.

Remember, Edvamp, things are not always what they seem when viewed by
the outside.

--maat

Albatross

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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"K.M.S." wrote:

> Hmmmm... cause being alone gets tiresome realllllyyy quick.

After my first marriage I wanted to be alone for a very long time.

A

LordKumar

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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In article <87k8u8$i0j$1...@lure.pipex.net>, "Miss Simon"
<Wra...@theseed.net> wrote:
> snip

> I *so* know where you are coming from. For most of my
> life, I have been
> sitting almost permenantly in the "friend" category,
> and on the rare
> occasions when I do find someone special, they
> eventually decide that they
> like being friends with me so much they don't want to
> risk it by trying to
> be more. Only once have I found anyone who wanted to
> be more, and I got so
> scared by the idea that someone found me attractive, I
> fucked it up
> deliberately (well, subconsciously anyway) because it
> didn't fit with my
> view of how my life was. I'd got so used to being
> "just friends" that I
> couldn't handle it.
> I've even tried being a bastard, to try and escape the
> "nice guys finish
> last" problem, and they just find it funny that I'm
> acting weird.
> To make things feel worse, on of my close female
> friends started kissing me
> on thursday night during our monthly invasion of the
> local cheesy pop night
> at the university, only to find out that she has no
> interest in a
> relationship, she merely wants to be, and I quote,
> "rampant friends".
> Life bites.
> Miss Simon
> Too miserable to think of a decent sig.
> ICQ : 48694959
> http://www.geocities.com/lifeloveandlipstick

Perhaps I'm living in the throes of fear of commitment
(sneer), but I find the concept of being "just friends"
with a woman to be _highly_ appealing. I have several
beautiful, wonderful female friends who fill this role with
me, and I couldn't be happier. To me, a close friend is more
rewarding by far than a romantic relationship. What's that
funny saying.. "Better to have loved and lost than to never
have loved at all" or something.. I say, better to have the
love of a true friend and retain it, than to have loved and
lost (a romantic love). The friends I have and love, while
not as intense a relationship as a lover, I will have for
ever. I look forward to growing older with these people in
my life, of maturing beside them, of someday swapping
stories about our grandchildren.

I dont have any glaring flaws, I'm a handsome guy, nice,
etc. If I wanted to pursue a higher relationship with these
women, there's no reason why I wouldn't succeed. Indeed, two
of them were started in part because of their interest in
me. If I were given the chance, I would change nothing. The
friendships I have are some of the most rewarding,
fulfilling things I've ever experienced.

I've had ONE romantic relationship... we started off as
friends, and it moved into something more over time. We were
best friends as well as lovers. It lasted about 4 and a half
years, but now it's over, and I'm afraid the strain of what
we once had was too much pressure to maintain a friendship.
I lost what was one of my dearest friends.

So. On one hand, I have an intense romantic love
relationship, 4 years, kapput. On the other hand, I have the
lesser (?) love of several friends, 10+ years, and still
going. I choose the latter as more valuable. I'm not saying
I would change the romantic relationship, it was a valuable
learning experience, but in the long run, what I have is
better than what I had.

Sure, I'm human, I get lonely, I crave the "higher" love, I
do the whole crying myself to sleep thing every now and
then. I suppress my irrational physical desires to become
closer to my female friends. If only we weren't made of this
weak flesh... And sometimes, illogically, it hurts to watch
them have relationships with other people. But I'll never
stop being thankful for the beautiful frienships I have.


* Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping. Smart is Beautiful

Flight (maggot)

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Feb 6, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/6/00
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"K.M.S." wrote:
>
> In article <389E0A39...@clark.net>, kla...@clark.net wrote:
>
> > "K.M.S." wrote:
> >
> > <snips>
> >

> > > Surrounded by beautiful people who want to have a relationship with you.
> > > Fuck what a neverending cycle of misery and despair.
> >

> > Ladies and Gentlemen, I believe we have a winner of the coveted "most
> > astoundingly bitter sarcasm award" for 1Q 2000.
> >
> My god! Most astoundingly bitter on _alt.gothic_ *gush* *bounce* I'd like
> to thank the academy.... ;)

Yes, and while your at it you can take this "most typical and obvious"
whine of the month award for restating the obvious and generally
redundant in a refreshing and slightly more than dull way...

Flight :P

Brazen Angel

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
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On 06 Feb 2000 22:21:13 GMT, edv...@aol.comKILLKILL (Edvamp) decided
to share:

>>I mean sure, for that one night, or two nights, a week -- whatever --
>>you may not technically be "alone" ... but then it ends, and there you
>>are again.
>

> Long term relationships end too. But at least you had something. There is
>something to remember.

Hopefully at the end of a long term relationship you remember real
love and all the things that go with it as opposed to just some cute
chick who wanted to fuck you for a couple of weeks until you both
realized that that was all there was and moved on to another round of
the same thing with different partners.


> I'd rather have something than nothing any day. I'm not choosing quantity
>over quality. I'm saying in the absense of quality, quantity will do quite
>nicely.

You mean you'd rather get laid than have nothing. Try being confident
because it seems to get everyone laid no matter how pretty or ugly
they are.

And I'm sure the beautiful gothbois wonder just like beautiful
gothgirls if the person snogging or fucking them really likes them or
their outsides only. I'm sure they really enjoy being used half the
time or more.

But you know, cross that bridge when you get to it too.

Brazen

"I'd rather be rejected than used because they both amount to
the same thing in the end, but being used takes a lot longer."
- Marilyn vos Savant


The Evil Chemist

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
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Luna <luna_...@my-deja.com> Bellowed at the Firmament:

> You'd rather be shallow than be alone, eh?

> Shallow relationships won't really help with that.

I equate such relationships to a starving man <woman> eating sand:
It quenches the hunger pangs, but it doesn't offer any sustenence.

The hunger is what drives us to seek sustenence.

The hunger forces is us out to look for what we need.
It has it's purpose.

"Junk food" is always available, but the problem is one gets used to it,
b/c it's accessible.

So you sit idley eating sand and dirt while you slowly die inside, rather
than look for what you really need.

When it comes to relationships:
Everyone complains they haven't found what they are looking for until they
finally do. Everyone makes the wrong decisions until they make the right
one.

The nagging question though is: How soon is now?

jv

The Evil Chemist

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
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Edvamp <edv...@aol.comKILLKILL> Bellowed at the Firmament:

> Just a short rant. At the club last night there was this guy I know.
Over the > course of the night I saw him snog at least 5 or 6 different
women. All of > them gorgeous, some of them women I liked. They gave him
backrubs, scratched > his neck, played with his hair. Then when an
ex-girlfriend shows up at the > club, he has the audacity to be depressed.

You may see 5 or 6 beautiful women, but he only sees one. Nothing any of
those 5 or 6 do or say mean anything if you only care about the one
sitting across the bar.

>Guys like that need to have my life for one month and they will then
>truly appreciate what they've got.

Or maybe you can have his life and realize what he "doesn't got."

Maybe this guy was in love.

Love is being elevated to a place humans cannot comprehend and gods can
only envy. And once you fall from that place, it's not much solace kicking
stones on the ground while you look up at the sky remembering where you
once were.

Love is seeing colors you've never seen before and when it's gone,
the memory of those colors burn in your mind. The black & white world just
doesn't hold the same beauty that it did before.

>When it gets too easy for them, when
>they know they can have pretty much any girl there, they forget just
>how fucking awesome that is.

It really isn't that awesome.

> I would love to be like that, even just
>for awhile.

I wish you were like that for awhile, b/c you will prolly realise it isn't
all you hoped it would be. You'll prolly end up posting about how there
are a zillion women to go home with, but none to be with.

You'd still be alone.
I do mean this with the greatest sincerity.
It's a great ego stroke to have people like you even for the wrong
reasons.

But it really doesn't mean anything.
jv


TSM

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
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On 06 Feb 2000 12:10:43 GMT, edv...@aol.comKILLKILL (Edvamp) wrote:

>Just a short rant. At the club last night there was this guy I know. Over the
>course of the night I saw him snog at least 5 or 6 different women. All of
>them gorgeous, some of them women I liked. They gave him backrubs, scratched
>his neck, played with his hair. Then when an ex-girlfriend shows up at the
>club, he has the audacity to be depressed.

Oh come on, Ed.
How the hell do you know what it's like?
You -aren't- him.

Everything anyone can ever
be comes with it's own set of problems.

>Guys like that need to have my life
>for one month and they will then truly appreciate what they've got.

It might suprise you just
how willing some of these guys
might be to take you up on that.

>When it
>gets too easy for them, when they know they can have pretty much any girl

>there, they forget just how fucking awesome that is. I would love to be like

>that, even just for awhile. And if that makes me shallow, then fuck it, I'd
>rather be shallow than alone.

I know this guy who is, ironically,
my girlfriend's roommate who could
very easily and accurately be described
as a dope-ass chunk of beefcake.

You know what he said to me the other night?
"Damn, sometimes I just wish the girls would
leave me alone. All I want to do is go out and
dance or something and I can't get a moment's peace. . ."
or words to that effect.

Now I'm sure that'll illicit a few eyerolls from
anyone who reads this, but then remember what 'ol Sam said.
Yeah, that bit a few messages down the line about
being used as an emotional tampon.
The chicks don't want -him-,
they want his big square
shoulders and his nice ass.

-Everyone- gets used, Ed.
Everyone.

Everyone also wants what
they can't seem to get.
In your case, it's sex.
In his case, and I shit thee not,
it's the opprotunity to just -talk-
to a woman without her trying to
get sex out of him.

Might sound crazy, but I swear to God it's true.

On that note,
take a moment to realize what you've "got."

>Ever and Always
>Edvamp

--TSM

fuzzy pink satan (also known as skerry)

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
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On Mon, 07 Feb 2000 02:04:26 GMT, The Evil Chemist
<jver...@suba01.suba.com> fpevooyrq onpxjneqf sbe fngna:

>You may see 5 or 6 beautiful women, but he only sees one. Nothing any of
>those 5 or 6 do or say mean anything if you only care about the one
>sitting across the bar.

yes. :|

i came home from a friday night of tarting and just kind of sat here,
staring at my newsreader, and wishing i was curled up sleeping with
Him[1] like i was before, but never will be again.

i can understand how thrilling the concept of a kiss or a thorough
groping is when you don't get that sort of thing very often.

the hunger for it kept me going and writing stories and dreaming
and being happy in a really tragic sort of way.

>Love is being elevated to a place humans cannot comprehend and gods can
>only envy. And once you fall from that place, it's not much solace kicking
>stones on the ground while you look up at the sky remembering where you
>once were.

enter: tears.

>Love is seeing colors you've never seen before and when it's gone,
>the memory of those colors burn in your mind. The black & white world just
>doesn't hold the same beauty that it did before.

i don't mean to add a 'me too' post, but this one really got me where
it counts.

>You'd still be alone.
>I do mean this with the greatest sincerity.

empty calories.

>It's a great ego stroke to have people like you even for the wrong
>reasons.

most certainly. :)

>But it really doesn't mean anything.
>jv

when one is lonely, living it up can lighten your mood and make
life seem interesting again.

and while that may last for a few hours, you'll always come down
because you've just gotten basically everything BUT what you
really really want.

trust him, he's all too correct.

carrie

[1] i know you don't read any threads but the ones you
yourself start, but on the off chance you do see this...
i miss you.

---------------------------------------------------------------
http://ossuary.net/~skerrella/ - satan's in the la-BOR-a-tory!
delete the thpam to reply. :P

K.M.S.

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
to
In article <389E652E...@monkeyTRAPbrains.net>, "Flight (maggot)"
<mag...@monkeyTRAPbrains.net> wrote:

Oh no I couldn't your "It's so hard to know wether or not somone likes you
just cause your pretty" posting was far more qualified for the award than
any one liner I could toss off.


Koko "oh no it's the cheese police" Martin Sama

Edvamp

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
to
>People hunting you down and wanting to be with you whether for a night
>or a decade simply by virtue of your looks are not something to hold up
>as prizes in the self-esteem contest with your ego.

We seem to live in an All or Nothing society. Attractive people complain
because they are perceived as only physical personas with no emotional or
intellectual properties. I complain that people only see me as an intellect or
emotional sounding board with no physical or sexual properties.

I guess it is difficult to look at people as 3-d human beings so we look at
them as archetypes (Jung can blow me). These archetypes are further
strengthened in popular culture.

I like playing the role of the Big Strong Guy. I like playing the role of
the Listener and Counselor. I like playing the role of the Intellectual or
Academic. But just because I fit into the role of those archetypes doesn't
mean I can't also be the Lover.

It's like the time I hung out with a stripper friend of mine at a club just
bullshitting about Nietzsche and Ayn Rand all night. By breaking out of our
roles, we had a really delightful night.

>You missed the point. Being sought due to your looks does not equal
>meaningful company.

I didn't say I wanted every experience to be meaningful company. It would
just be nice to have that variety, those few short relationships that didn't
work out.


Ever and Always
Edvamp


Edvamp

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
to
>You may see 5 or 6 beautiful women, but he only sees one. Nothing any of
>those 5 or 6 do or say mean anything if you only care about the one
>sitting across the bar.

To a man that's starving, a person eating a hamburger but wanting filet
mignon is obviously missing what he has in front of him.

>Or maybe you can have his life and realize what he "doesn't got."

Yeah, if the day ever comes when I'm complaining about women throwing
themselves at me or I'm having too much sex, kill me. I'm either insane or
being controlled by aliens.

>Maybe this guy was in love.

>Love is being elevated to a place humans cannot comprehend and gods can
>only envy. And once you fall from that place, it's not much solace kicking
>stones on the ground while you look up at the sky remembering where you
>once were.

I don't believe in love. And all the poetry in the world isn't going to
change that.

>It really isn't that awesome.

Yeah, try telling the starving guy mentioned above that eating is
overrated.

>I wish you were like that for awhile, b/c you will prolly realise it isn't
>all you hoped it would be. You'll prolly end up posting about how there
>are a zillion women to go home with, but none to be with.

As I stated earlier, if I ever got like that, coming from the background I
have, kill me.

>It's a great ego stroke to have people like you even for the wrong
>reasons.

No one can like me for the wrong reasons. I'm not rich, I'm not handsome,
and backstage passes rarely ranks more than a blowjob. Any woman willing to
share herself with me has to see something in me worth liking, so she probably
has the qualities I would like anyways.

>But it really doesn't mean anything.

Like I said, I feel like being shallow for awhile. I think I've earned the
right.


Ever and Always
Edvamp


Edvamp

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
to
>i can understand how thrilling the concept of a kiss or a thorough
>groping is when you don't get that sort of thing very often.

Or ever.

>the hunger for it kept me going and writing stories and dreaming
>and being happy in a really tragic sort of way.

That I'll agree with. Angst certainly gets the juices flowing, so to speak.
Definitely was the cause of some of my more interesting posts.

>>You'd still be alone.
>>I do mean this with the greatest sincerity.
>
>empty calories.

Like I said in another post: something vs nothing.

>and while that may last for a few hours, you'll always come down
>because you've just gotten basically everything BUT what you
>really really want.

A. I want those few hours. It isn't enough to hear people that have been
there and done that saying it isn't worth it. I want to have been there and
done that and decide for myself whether it is worth it.

B. (said politely cos I know you mean well) How do you know what I really
really want?


Ever and Always
Edvamp


Edvamp

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
to
>>Guys like that need to have my life
>>for one month and they will then truly appreciate what they've got.
>
> It might suprise you just
> how willing some of these guys
> might be to take you up on that.

Suckers all. When the procedure becomes available I'll be the first on the
table.

>On that note,
> take a moment to realize what you've "got."
>

I know what I've got. All of my women friends know I cherish their
friendship, their respect and their trust in me. I do get frustrated when I
see them make the same mistakes over and over again and fail to recognize a
nice guy right in front of them, but my bitterness doesn't blind me to the fact
that I have earned their trust and that's a big fucking deal.

I am a true American. I know what I've got, and I want more.


Ever and Always
Edvamp


Empty

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
to
Quoth edv...@aol.comKILLKILL (Edvamp) on 06 Feb 2000 12:10:43 GMT:

<snip too-familiar rant>

I think a song said it best:

"got spandex bike shorts where the sun don't shine
but the girls don't mind
Cuz that cake boy starts to move
to the old disco groove
And your girlfriend likes that,
You may not like that but thats a fact, black"

-Cake Boy, by Sir Mix-A-Lot

~Empty

------------------------------------------------------------
You are really pretty! |
Tried to lick your wounds, | -Bane, waxing poetic
tongue full of monitor dust. |
http://www.sinclairbrowning.com/emptyspaces

Empty

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
to
Quoth edv...@aol.comKILLKILL (Edvamp) on 06 Feb 2000 22:21:13 GMT:

> I'd rather have something than nothing any day. I'm not choosing quantity
>over quality. I'm saying in the absense of quality, quantity will do quite
>nicely.

As someone who has spent eight months of the last year in an utterly
miserable relationship with a beautiful, but vapid, shell of a human
being, I can tell you to shut up right now Edvamp.

I'd like to have something on my cock, but if that something is
pruning shears, I'll pass.

Point being, something is not always better than nothing... nothing is
neutral in nature. And I have authority to talk about something,as I
have proven, and authority to talk about nothing, being after all..

Tetsab

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
to
Edvamp wrote:

> The women I hang out with seem incapable of viewing me in any ways
> physical or sexual. At least a "friends with benefits" relationship
> would alleviate that feeling.

Hrm.

I could have sworn that in an earlier rant of this sort you mentioned
that you can and do hug and kiss friends - and that someone else was
rather confused by this - or was this someone else?

That looks to be the same sitation Simon is in.



> "Oh, so you still get to use me as an emotional tampon, tell me your
> problems, bitch and moan about other guys, but we won't actually fuck"

I've had someone basically tell me that in the past; at least I know now
where they got it from.

[I was utterly enchanted that they assumed I'd do any of the above].

"So you really don't give a fuck what's coming out of one hole unless
you're getting to fuck the other one.."

[above not directed at anyone, just a flipside remark].

Tetsab.
>^..^<

--
Sig-na-a-ture is dead. http://members.home.net/tetsab/
The bytes have left the bell-tower.

Hardrock Llewynyth

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
to
Thus did b...@nospam.demon.nl (Bem) the Unworthy write in this Year
of Our Lord Sun, 06 Feb 2000 14:20:59 GMT:

>Btw, the worst is when a friend tells you he has been to bed with a
>girl you really like, and you just sit there smiling and hoping he
>would shut up and go away and die or something.

Around here, that is generally an excuse for swift and blinding
violence :)

Seriously it isn't that painful for me to see that sort of thing, but
i generally know i have absolutely no chance of ever being anything
but an agony-aunt to her anyway. The guy she some crying to when yet
another bed-buddy dumps her or hurts her or whatever.

And and i get told what a wonderful person i am, and how she wishes
she could find someone as nice as me ("and preferably hell of a lot
less ugly" being obviously implied here). All i can do to keep from
screaming at times.

hardrock

--
Hardrock Llewynyth GAC DNRC hard...@speakeasy.org
http://www.speakeasy.org/~hardrock/
I will honour and express all facets of my being; regardless
of state and local laws.

Flight (maggot)

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
to

"K.M.S." wrote:
>
> In article <389E652E...@monkeyTRAPbrains.net>, "Flight (maggot)"
> <mag...@monkeyTRAPbrains.net> wrote:

> > > > > Surrounded by beautiful people who want to have a relationship with you.
> > > > > Fuck what a neverending cycle of misery and despair.

> > > My god! Most astoundingly bitter on _alt.gothic_ *gush* *bounce* I'd like


> > > to thank the academy.... ;)
> >
> > Yes, and while your at it you can take this "most typical and obvious"
> > whine of the month award for restating the obvious and generally
> > redundant in a refreshing and slightly more than dull way...
> >
> Oh no I couldn't your "It's so hard to know wether or not somone likes you
> just cause your pretty" posting was far more qualified for the award than
> any one liner I could toss off.

Now, now. No such thing could top the timeless lamentation of those who
are lonely solely because they lack the beauty that blesses the rest of
us with meaningful bounties of relevant adoration.

Come ladies, slobber on my sleeve, just try not to get the heart so
sticky...

Flight

Flight (maggot)

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
to

Edvamp wrote:

> >You missed the point. Being sought due to your looks does not equal
> >meaningful company.
>
> I didn't say I wanted every experience to be meaningful company. It would
> just be nice to have that variety, those few short relationships that didn't
> work out.

Well, unfortunately that happens to usually take the form of year after
year of short brief relationships that don't work out, often brought
about by the same behavior that drove you to seek out such random
relationship material.

You seem to be looking for some happy middle ground between being a
swinging sex stud yet being miserably lonely, and just being miserably
lonely. Unfortunately what you are looking for still involves being
miserably lonely, just having lots of sex (which is not a bad ambition,
but let's come to the point here).

The fact is that guys who have lots of chicks don't have meaningful
relationships (in my violent opinion) because they have lots of chicks!
What girl/guy worth having is going to single out someone who lets
anyone with a 6+ rating hang off of them as a meaningful partner for
future contentment and comfort seeking?

Right now it sounds like you're lashing out at the most obvious thing,
those green pastures that are really just acres of poison ivy (to
blatantly shove a metaphor down your throat). You are obsessing on what
you *don't* have, obsessing on the idea of finding a really meaningful
relationship rather than turning your focus on becoming a person worthy
of such a relationship.

No just to disclaim, I am not declaring you unworthy of such
companionship, merely pointing out that no one worth your love and
devotion is looking for someone devoting even marginal effort on the
quest to find them.

Rather they are busy looking for their bliss. They are pursuing their
dreams, feeling their way through life and finding what it is that makes
them truly happy as an individual, rather than harboring any neurotic
illusions that another person will provide this fulfillment for them.

The downside of this is that it means that your eventually finding
someone right for you is dictated entirely by chance. The upside is
that you will end up spending your life searching out what *actually*
makes you happy and probably avoid dozens of frustrating and often
painful diversions into the dark and dreary world of looking for Mrs.
Right. It means that if and when you find that person they will be far
more inclined to provide you with a meaningful partner since their
attraction will be based not on your "beautiful goth" looks but on the
person you are, confident, secure, true to thyself.

Relationships IMO are there for comfort, a pleasant consequence of being
true to yourself. Ask yourself how many couples you know who don't
argue all the time, who don't talk shit about each other, who haven't
broken up at least once. Ask yourself if that is your idea of a good
time. Ask yourself if dwelling on the fact that you are lonely is your
idea of a good time.

Whatever your idea of a good time is, it's entirely up to you to choose.

Flight

Flight (maggot)

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
to

Edvamp wrote:
>
> >You may see 5 or 6 beautiful women, but he only sees one. Nothing any of
> >those 5 or 6 do or say mean anything if you only care about the one
> >sitting across the bar.
>
> To a man that's starving, a person eating a hamburger but wanting filet
> mignon is obviously missing what he has in front of him.

A cute comparison, but to be more fair you are talking about a person
that wants water.

Just water, that's all he wants, and all he gets is tacos.

Flight

Edvamp

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Feb 7, 2000, 3:00:00 AM2/7/00
to
>I could have sworn that in an earlier rant of this sort you mentioned
>that you can and do hug and kiss friends - and that someone else was
>rather confused by this - or was this someone else?

I do hug and kiss my friends. But I do not snog or sleep with them. That
is what I define to be a "friends with benefits" relationship. The friends I
hug and kiss we do in a snuggling way, not in any way sensual.

</