Token Goth Boy

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Sean Wilde u

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
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*sigh* Anyone else know what I mean? You go to an "alternative" club
with few goths and a lot of plaid...women wonder what it would be like to
be with a "freak"...Of course being constantly depressed with few others
to understand you, you make a great target...You fall for the lines...you
know what they are but you convince yourself that this one is
different...this one cares...then of course you get a reputation, which
causes more of them to flock to you...even Xs you weren't that serious
with come out to have a taste of "gothic boy". You get caught in an
endless cycle of --go to club--dance--get picked up--get used--go to
club--etc...but you keep doing it hoping that one day of the women
approaching you will like YOU, not your clothes, your docs, your hair or
the way you dance...*sad smile* But it never happens...

Sean
(who's so incredibly fed up with everything...)

Allison C Serpe

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
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Excerpts from netnews.alt.gothic: 17-May-96 Token Goth Boy by Sean Wilde
u...@mach1.wlu.c
> *sigh* Anyone else know what I mean?


I've been "token" gothgirl a few times myself. Flattering, but shallow.
My sympathies,


Excess and Oohs,
++Allison++

...I am none of these things GothCode (2.0): GoFA TB(MD) (sd)
B11/23/BK!]^1 CBKs++ Mo(Sh) V+s M++4 p1 ZGoGnIn C+ a18+ !!n3na(v)
b+:-3(D) H5'6" g++! m3Ea+3 W++! r-- D++~ h++ s10 K+/K-3n Sry n1
LusPA(NY)+ fms http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/~serpe/end.html


Littleo01

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May 17, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/17/96
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>*sigh* Anyone else know what I mean? You go to an "alternative" club
>with few goths and a lot of plaid...women wonder what it would be like to

>be with a "freak"...

So do a lot of jock boys and frat boys and stuff. "Hey, let's do the
FREAK!!!"

>Of course being constantly depressed with few others
>to understand you, you make a great target...You fall for the lines...you

>know what they are but you convince yourself that this one is
>different...this one cares...

You'll be searching far and wide for someone to "really care". Some
people search until they die. There is only one person who you need to
care about you. Three guesses. (No, it's not that chick in the corner)
=) And most of the time when people pick you up in a club/bar, they're
really only interested in your looks, not your mind. After all, it wasn't
your mind they were attracted to all the way across the room...

>then of course you get a reputation, which
>causes more of them to flock to you...even Xs you weren't that serious
>with come out to have a taste of "gothic boy".

Learn to say no. You have every right to refuse. And if you have a
"reputation", that generally means they're flocking to you for sex *only*.
You deserve better than to offer yourself up to everyone in the vain hope
that they'll love you in return.

>You get caught in an
>endless cycle of --go to club--dance--get picked up--get used--go to
>club--etc...but you keep doing it hoping that one day of the women
>approaching you will like YOU, not your clothes, your docs, your hair or
>the way you dance...*sad smile* But it never happens...

You are looking for love, as they say, in all the wrong places... A crime
of which many of us are guilty. *hug*hug*hug*

>Sean
>(who's so incredibly fed up with everything...)

little o
(who can really, really, empathize)

Black Sun

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
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>You get caught in an
>endless cycle of
>--go to club--dance--get picked up--get used--go to
>club--etc...

not to be mean, but this seems like a relatively easy cycle to break.
leaving out that whole first step would change things immensely.

i'd been "token weird boy" at certain points in high school and college,
but no "normals" ever talked to me or hit on me in those situations
because they were all afraid of me.


-
Here lies a youth who died of
consumption: you know why
Do not pray for him


Lisa Covey

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
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In article <DrJCo...@info.uucp>, Sean Wilde u <wild...@mach1.wlu.ca> wrote:
>
>*sigh* Anyone else know what I mean? You go to an "alternative" club
>with few goths and a lot of plaid...women wonder what it would be like to
>be with a "freak"...Of course being constantly depressed with few others
>to understand you, you make a great target...You fall for the lines...you
>know what they are but you convince yourself that this one is
>different...this one cares...then of course you get a reputation, which
>causes more of them to flock to you...even Xs you weren't that serious
>with come out to have a taste of "gothic boy". You get caught in an
>endless cycle of --go to club--dance--get picked up--get used--go to
>club--etc...but you keep doing it hoping that one day of the women
>approaching you will like YOU, not your clothes, your docs, your hair or
>the way you dance...*sad smile* But it never happens...
>
>Sean
>(who's so incredibly fed up with everything...)


*smile* Some should have it half as lucky cher..

--the fugue..
--
"That's the beauty of cyberspace. You can take all the
information you want, and nobody loses anything"
--Zach, "Drawing Blood"

Sean Wilde u

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
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Black Sun (TGY...@prodigy.com) wrote:
: >You get caught in an
: >endless cycle of
: >--go to club--dance--get picked up--get used--go to
: >club--etc...

:
: not to be mean, but this seems like a relatively easy cycle to break.
: leaving out that whole first step would change things immensely.
:
: i'd been "token weird boy" at certain points in high school and college,
: but no "normals" ever talked to me or hit on me in those situations
: because they were all afraid of me.


Ah, if it were that easy or simplistic! You failed to catch onto
the second part of the cycle: dance. I go to clubs to release; pain,
anger and sorrow by dancing. It is one of the few things I look forward
to each week. By denying the first part of the cycle I deny the second
which denies my release. This would be a very BAD thing *wry smile*.
I've tried not going to clubs. The lack of release is much worse than
perpetrating the cycle.

Sean

Columbine

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
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wild...@mach1.wlu.ca (Sean Wilde u) writes:

>You get caught in an
>endless cycle of --go to club--dance--get picked up--get used--go to

>club--etc...but you keep doing it hoping that one day of the women
>approaching you will like YOU, not your clothes, your docs, your hair or
>the way you dance...*sad smile* But it never happens...

Sean, I really wish every goth in the world would read your post.
I hear so much WHINING about "nobody will even look at me, I'm so
fat, I'm so ugly, I'm so awkward" ad nauseam, and never even stop
to consider that what they're missing isn't necessarily love or
even fun.

I'll yell it impolitely and netiquette be damned: PEOPLE, THERE IS
MORE TO LIFE THAN FINDING "THE ONE!" Sure, it's great when it
happens, but it happens damned seldom, and in the meantime people
who scramble to be In A Relationship just for the sake of it often
end up with flakes, scum, or someone who unbeknownst to them has
pledged fidelity to someone else. Just LIVE your fucking LIFE, and
maybe The One will turn up and maybe not; but there's nothing like
obvious emotional hunger to not only attract the sort of shallow
types tha Sean described, but to *drive away* healthy-spirited
people.

YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO LOVE. You may need it, you may deserve it,
you may have oceans of it to give. But life isn't fair, and
expecting it to be fair is emotional suicide.

Love, Columbine
--
Burden me not with pity's scorn Columbine
Weep for yourself, but not for me
Enrapt in petals, dancing free hi...@apocalypse.org
While others vie for thorns

exile

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
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hi...@apocalypse.org (Columbine) hathe written,

>YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO LOVE. You may need it, you may deserve it,

Yes you are.

>you may have oceans of it to give. But life isn't fair, and
>expecting it to be fair is emotional suicide.

You sound a bit bitter Columbine. Tho' I'll agree life isn't
fair. Eventually things seem to work out for just about
everyone. In the meantime... there's nothing wrong with casual
sex {despite the obvious} and casual relationships. You are
right though... you can't expect it to be love everytime.
However, if you redefine your notion of love a bit it can be
love most of the time.

{exile}

oddlystrange

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May 18, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/18/96
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Sean Wilde u (wild...@mach1.wlu.ca) wrote:

: *sigh* Anyone else know what I mean? You go to an "alternative" club
: with few goths and a lot of plaid...women wonder what it would be like to
: be with a "freak"...Of course being constantly depressed with few others
: to understand you, you make a great target...You fall for the lines...you
: know what they are but you convince yourself that this one is
: different...this one cares...then of course you get a reputation, which

well there's also the token gothgirl thing. Although i've managed to
convert one of my old friends into thinking a night at the local gothclub
can be good, most of my old friends from high school always went to the
alternative clubs there and i went with them (for the token cure song
perhaps) but anyhow.

sucks.

guys hit on you because you're not like the other girls. blah. bite me.

you need to go find a nice goffclub :)

that or learn to ignore anything that makes a move on you and isn't worth
your time.

oddlystrange

(who recalls once a guy asking her if she was "kinky" and of course the
best of all times "I always wanted to sleep with that girl in beatlejuice")
--
oddlystrange -- the perkygoff fairy godmother
-----------------(who will make a purtier sig later)----------------------
perkygoff east coast branch office now located at:
http://www.obscure.org/~perky


David Gerard

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May 19, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/19/96
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On Sat, 18 May 1996 21:26:07 GMT, Sean Wilde u (wild...@mach1.wlu.ca) wrote:

: Ah, if it were that easy or simplistic! You failed to catch onto

:the second part of the cycle: dance. I go to clubs to release; pain,
:anger and sorrow by dancing. It is one of the few things I look forward
:to each week. By denying the first part of the cycle I deny the second
:which denies my release. This would be a very BAD thing *wry smile*.
:I've tried not going to clubs. The lack of release is much worse than
:perpetrating the cycle.


Well, just bloody tell them! "No, thank you; you're very decorative, but
I am here to jump up and down. If you have a pen, a piece of paper and an
address, you could write it down and give it to me if you like. Excuse
me." (bounce, whirl, twirl)

Whining child. *slap*


--
Rev Dr David Gerard Melbourne, Australia http://suburbia.net/~fun
GothCode 2.0: GoAu!3CS+ TJt(ZZ) B10/23Bk^1 cR(DBR){G} p++ PPe(LNa) V++s M+3p1w
ZEx(!!--Go) C+3p1u a29- n!O b+:- H194 g+! m+)++( w+T r-4E D+~! h++TFe(Ad) s7 k+
Rn SrNy N0488Wn LauVIC+* HsMp1 We are much more beautiful than you.

Black Sun

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May 19, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/19/96
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>YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO LOVE. You may need it, you may deserve it,
>you may have oceans of it to give. But life isn't fair, and
>expecting it to be fair is emotional suicide.

reading this and other posts led me to wonder why this is such a
widespread need of people...i guess it goes back to mating instincts or
something, it's strange that if you look at goths or jocks or ravers or
punks or whatever, most of them have romantic relationships as a major
priority in their lives. then there's the "someone for everyone" myth,
which my female friends keep threatening me with..."one day you're going
to meet the one person right for you and there's no way to escape".
people are pack animals i guess...
(except for the lone wolves)

Skate-Gundy

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May 19, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/19/96
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wild...@mach1.wlu.ca (Sean Wilde u) writes:
(and M. Gerard, previous)
>: Well, just bloody tell them! "No, thank you; you're very decorative, but

>: I am here to jump up and down. If you have a pen, a piece of paper and an
>: address, you could write it down and give it to me if you like. Excuse
>: me." (bounce, whirl, twirl)
>: Whining child. *slap*
> Perhaps if you'd read my first post you'd understand. Obviously you
>didn't considering the ignorance of your post. Unless of course you
>did read it and you're just incredibly dense. *innocent smile* That's
>okay, just watch the more intelligent and caring people on this newsgroup
>for a while and maybe some of it will rub off on you! *pat* *pat* Nice


I dunno.


I thought you came off as a whining child too.


sort of like *whine* I'm in this terrible cycle where I go
to clubs, get picked up, I may or may not get sex, but I
do feel incredibly used. Please feel sympathetic toward me.
Please give me attention. I am not being loved in the way
I should be.
end *whine*


And I think Mr. Gerard is focusing on the very obvious solution.
Stop doing that then.

I could easily sympathise with someone who felt they were being
harrassed or hit on because of tokenism. But you actually
carry on with these people... this isn't bimbette girl
attacking goth boy illllll!!111 get away. If it was, you
wouldn't be in a cycle.


you do enjoy it, don't you?

lXs


--
=======****> "What! No rat salad?! This is a day without sunshine."

WEB PAGE UNDER CONSTRUCTION at:
http://www-scf.usc.edu/~slchen/

Black Sun

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May 19, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/19/96
to

>>YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO LOVE. You may need it, you may deserve it,
>
> Yes you are.
you may deserve love or be a great wonderful loving person, but there's
no law or guarantee that you or anyone else is going to fall in love.
things work out for many people because there are loads of lonely people
out there, but it's really childish and silly to expect life to hand-
deliver you something. anything can happen...you could meet the
girl/boy/cat of your dreams tomorrow and live happily ever after, you
could live to be 122 without ever being loved or cared for, you could get
struck by a piece of debris from a falling airplane right now as you read
this post. they're all just possibilities, you're not entitled to any one
of them.

Sean Wilde u

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May 19, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/19/96
to

David Gerard (ge...@cougar.vut.edu.au) wrote:

: On Sat, 18 May 1996 21:26:07 GMT, Sean Wilde u (wild...@mach1.wlu.ca) wrote:
:
: : Ah, if it were that easy or simplistic! You failed to catch onto
: :the second part of the cycle: dance. I go to clubs to release; pain,
: :anger and sorrow by dancing. It is one of the few things I look forward
: :to each week. By denying the first part of the cycle I deny the second
: :which denies my release. This would be a very BAD thing *wry smile*.
: :I've tried not going to clubs. The lack of release is much worse than
: :perpetrating the cycle.
:
:
: Well, just bloody tell them! "No, thank you; you're very decorative, but
: I am here to jump up and down. If you have a pen, a piece of paper and an
: address, you could write it down and give it to me if you like. Excuse
: me." (bounce, whirl, twirl)
:
: Whining child. *slap*

Perhaps if you'd read my first post you'd understand. Obviously you
didn't considering the ignorance of your post. Unless of course you
did read it and you're just incredibly dense. *innocent smile* That's
okay, just watch the more intelligent and caring people on this newsgroup
for a while and maybe some of it will rub off on you! *pat* *pat* Nice

ignoramous. *pat* *pat*

Sean
(who always wanted a pet ignoramous...)

Gothic Crusader

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May 19, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/19/96
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wild...@mach1.wlu.ca (Sean Wilde u) wrote:


>*sigh* Anyone else know what I mean?

yep. i know exactly what you mean.

>You go to an "alternative" club
>with few goths and a lot of plaid...women wonder what it would be like to
>be with a "freak"...Of course being constantly depressed with few others
>to understand you, you make a great target...You fall for the lines...you
>know what they are but you convince yourself that this one is
>different...this one cares...then of course you get a reputation, which

>causes more of them to flock to you...

especially since i got this reputation for being able to eat poontang
better than anybody in columbia, south carolina--i practiced till i
get real good at it.. all the women, red, yellers, blacks and whites
flock to me now.

>even Xs you weren't that serious

>with come out to have a taste of "gothic boy". You get caught in an

>endless cycle of --go to club--dance--get picked up--get used--go to
>club--etc...but you keep doing it hoping that one day of the women
>approaching you will like YOU, not your clothes, your docs, your hair or
>the way you dance...*sad smile* But it never happens...

in my case, its not that they like my docs because i don't wear docs.
i've built up such a reputation--and it all got started from dressing
gothic--that i believe i could dress normal and still be carrying on
with a bunch of women.

Eddie Turner, The Gothic Crusader!

GREETINGS TO ALL GOTHS!!!


William C Isenhour

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May 19, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/19/96
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Excerpts from netnews.alt.gothic: 19-May-96 Re: Token Goth Boy by Gothic
Crus...@scsn.net
> >*sigh* Anyone else know what I mean?
>
> yep. i know exactly what you mean.

I think the distinction in question was
"Token Goth"
Not "Town Retard."

But then I suppose that -would- excuse the mistake.

> >different...this one cares...then of course you get a reputation, which
> >causes more of them to flock to you...
>
> especially since i got this reputation for being able to eat poontang
> better than anybody in columbia, south carolina

Gee,
Isn't cunnilingus illegal in that state?
Whoops.

> --i practiced till get real good at it..

To bad you didn't practice your english lesson.

> all the women, red, yellers, blacks and whites

And sometimes "Y"

> flock to me now.

It's a rare day in Columbia, South Carolina
when you don't have to pay to see the freaks.
Good,
forward-thinking american folks you got down there.

> > not your clothes, your docs, your hair or
> >the way you dance...*sad smile* But it never happens...
>
> in my case,

The doctor recommended an abortion,
but paw was out of coathangers.

> its not that they like my docs because i don't wear docs.

Eat more docs.
They're good for you.

> i've built up such a reputation-

Try some vinegar and water.
That ought to get that right off,
it's hypoallergenic, too.

> -and it all got started from dressing

Like a woman.

> gothic-

Schmothic

> -that i believe i could dress normal

Dig that Wal-Mart ensemble.
Boy,
I wish that I was all metropolitan and shit
like you posh bastards down in
Columbia South Carolina.

> and still be carrying on with a bunch of women.

"Get out of my house"
"No, take your clothes off"
"Get out of my house or I'm calling the police."
"No way"
"Alright, Hoss, get the gun."
Klik,
B'BLAM!! B'BLAM!!

And so it came to pass.



> Eddie Turner, The Gothic Crusader!
>
> GREETINGS TO ALL GOTHS!!!

Ya'll go home now.

--TSM

Ronald Baker

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May 19, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/19/96
to

> Here lies a youth who died of
> consumption: you know why
> Do not pray for him

I don't know why. (blush) What does that mean?
Bloody Kisses,
Molochai

Gothic Crusader

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May 19, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/19/96
to

it's about time you wrote a decent flame, isenhour. apparently you
have learned something from your study of the writings of rc richards.

Gothic Crusader

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May 19, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/19/96
to

ge...@cougar.vut.edu.au (David Gerard) wrote:

>On Sat, 18 May 1996 21:26:07 GMT, Sean Wilde u (wild...@mach1.wlu.ca) wrote:

>: Ah, if it were that easy or simplistic! You failed to catch onto
>:the second part of the cycle: dance. I go to clubs to release; pain,
>:anger and sorrow by dancing. It is one of the few things I look forward
>:to each week. By denying the first part of the cycle I deny the second
>:which denies my release. This would be a very BAD thing *wry smile*.
>:I've tried not going to clubs. The lack of release is much worse than
>:perpetrating the cycle.


>Well, just bloody tell them! "No, thank you; you're very decorative, but
>I am here to jump up and down. If you have a pen, a piece of paper and an
>address, you could write it down and give it to me if you like. Excuse
>me." (bounce, whirl, twirl)

>Whining child. *slap*

excuse me, bozo, but the whole purpose in going to the club is to get
laid.

Sean Wilde u

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May 19, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/19/96
to

Skate-Gundy (slc...@phakt.usc.edu) wrote::
: I dunno.

:I thought you came off as a whining child too.
: sort of like *whine* I'm in this terrible cycle where I go
: to clubs, get picked up, I may or may not get sex, but I
: do feel incredibly used. Please feel sympathetic toward me.
: Please give me attention. I am not being loved in the way
: I should be.
: end *whine*
: And I think Mr. Gerard is focusing on the very obvious solution.
: Stop doing that then.
: I could easily sympathise with someone who felt they were being
: harrassed or hit on because of tokenism. But you actually
: carry on with these people... this isn't bimbette girl
: attacking goth boy illllll!!111 get away. If it was, you
: wouldn't be in a cycle.
:you do enjoy it, don't you?
: lXs

Actually, I posted it simply to get it out of my system. I
wasn't looking for anyone to write me or anyone to post an answer to it.
I'm actually surprised how many people are. I'd like to think I was
bitching more than whining. *smile* As for enjoying it, I like it when
people like me...until I find out why they like me...then I just want
them to leave me alone.


Sean

William C Isenhour

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May 19, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/19/96
to

Excerpts from netnews.alt.gothic: 19-May-96 Re: Token Goth Boy by Gothic
Crus...@scsn.net
> it's about time you wrote a decent flame, isenhour. apparently you
> have learned something from your study of the writings of rc richards.

Since other than a compliment
<!>
You seem to have totally disregarded my little note,
it would seem that you could learn a little
from RC Richards yourself.

So whassa matter?
You wanna mix it up with the real thing, or are you scared?
Hell,
you already admitted that it was a decent flame.

So what's your story, Ed?
Are you decent or are you more than that?

--TSM

Loki

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May 20, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/20/96
to

In ashen ink, Black Sun (TGY...@prodigy.com) inscribed:
: widespread need of people...i guess it goes back to mating instincts or

[snippage]

: people are pack animals i guess...


: (except for the lone wolves)

I don't see why this is such a big deal.

If, for some of us, the company and love of another (or multiple other)
humans can be a very special thing, why should that bother you? It
certainly doesn't bother me that some people -don't- get the same
enjoyment. It saddens me a little, but I wouldn't try and force my
view of the world on someone else.

- Loki
--
+------------------+----------------------------------------------+
| Geoffrey Wiseman | http://tdg.uoguelph.ca/~ontarion/users/geoff |
+------------------+----------------------------------------------+
i wish I could just stop / i know another moment will break my heart /
too many tears / too many times / too many years i've cried for you
it's always the same / wake up in the rain / head in pain / hung in shame

Black Sun

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May 20, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/20/96
to

>I don't see why this is such a big deal.
>
>If, for some of us, the company and love of another (or multiple other)

>humans can be a very special thing, why should that bother you?

i wasn't bothered so much as curious...just wondering why it's such a
widespread phenomenon. i guess its cause we're all (most of us) human...


-

Black Sun

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May 20, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/20/96
to

it's an inscription on a gravestone in a very good book which will remain
secret for the time being...

anyway, consumption=tuberculosis. the implication is that the youth in
question caught it doing something he shouldn't have been. unfortunately,
the house-sized glow worm did not explain matters further...


-
Here lies a youth who died of
consumption: you know why
Do not pray for him

>I don't know why. (blush) What does that mean?


Gothic Crusader

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May 20, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/20/96
to

hey black sun, you don't need to be spelling everything out for the
dumbos--it's funnier when they come up with their own explanations.


TGY...@prodigy.com (Black Sun) wrote:

Eddie Turner, The Gothic Crusader!

GREETINGS TO ALL GOTHS!!!


Raven St clair

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May 20, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/20/96
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Little Goth Boi a.k.a. wild...@mach1.wlu.ca (Sean Wilde u) beseeched us
by writing:

Actually, I posted it simply to get it out of my system. I
>wasn't looking for anyone to write me or anyone to post an answer to it.

>I'm actually surprised how many people are. I'd like to think I was
>bitching more than whining.

Poor dear, poor dear. Sweet little Goth Boi with whom I empathize deeply.
Just a few days ago, I was having a bit of a drama queen rant myself
when I was rudely interrupted by someone who accused me of "bitching &
moaning." I silenced the little ungulate trollop by retorting "Bitch is
what I am & moan is what I do."

Ravenna

(who is empathizing partially out of guilt since she has, on more than
one occasion, succumbed to the unspeakable temptation of breaking the
sweet, dark hearts of vulnerable little goths...but has since outgrown
such cruelties)


BOWIE SHAWN WILLIAM

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May 20, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/20/96
to

wild...@mach1.wlu.ca (Sean Wilde u) writes:


>*sigh* Anyone else know what I mean? You go to an "alternative" club

>with few goths and a lot of plaid...women wonder what it would be like to
>be with a "freak"...Of course being constantly depressed with few others
>to understand you, you make a great target...You fall for the lines...you
>know what they are but you convince yourself that this one is

>different...this one cares...then of course you get a reputation, which

Well, actually I do understand what you are saying and it is not
simply that you are "gothic" but, also, that you probably possess a quality
that hints of the forbidden and taboo. Many people look for that in a
one night stand, something different, dangerous -- but of course not too
dangerous. You fit the bill, a sort of exotic and wild persona to fling
with for the night and leave in the morning acting as if the entire
experience were nothing more than a wild dream with such realistic feelings.
I am afraid that "gothic" entails such a forward expression of who you are
by the way you walk, body language and style, that people realize right
away who and what "type" of person you are. And most, only want to have
fulfilled some fantasy with the darkly clad man.

>causes more of them to flock to you...even Xs you weren't that serious

>with come out to have a taste of "gothic boy". You get caught in an
>endless cycle of --go to club--dance--get picked up--get used--go to
>club--etc...but you keep doing it hoping that one day of the women

>approaching you will like YOU, not your clothes, your docs, your hair or

>the way you dance...*sad smile* But it never happens...

Well, it does happen, just not very often, and never, ever, when
we think it will. We get caught up in her eyes, and the way she smiles and
the smell of her neck as we get close, but "we" are in just as much of
a fantasy as the girl who would "do goth!". We make believe, we begin to
rationalize and the think of a thousand reasons why this girl understands
and cares and has to be "the one". However, soon, the fantasy ends, the
lights and go on and we are stuck sucking in our breath because damnit
we allowed ourselves to hope to care. Go home, and smoke a clove, turn on
the computer and start writing, often the only escape from the pain of
loneliness. "The one" is an expression of an old model of marriage and
relationships and life ever after. It doesn't really happen that wey, at
least not in my opinion. We simply learn to love ourselves and accept that
someday we may find the person with whom we can share our most inner thoughts
and dreams, and, well, maybe we won't.

>Sean
>(who's so incredibly fed up with everything...

Shawn, who completely agrees and sympathizes,

On to the next,

)

Dragoness Eclectic

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May 20, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/20/96
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On May 20, 1996 17:18:40 in article <Re: Token Goth Boy>,

'bo...@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (BOWIE SHAWN WILLIAM)' wrote:

>>causes more of them to flock to you...even Xs you weren't that serious
>>with come out to have a taste of "gothic boy". You get caught in an
>>endless cycle of --go to club--dance--get picked up--get used--go to
>>club--etc...but you keep doing it hoping that one day of the women
>>approaching you will like YOU, not your clothes, your docs, your hair or

>>the way you dance...*sad smile* But it never happens...

> Well, it does happen, just not very often, and never, ever, when
>we think it will. We get caught up in her eyes, and the way she smiles
and
>the smell of her neck as we get close, but "we" are in just as much of
>a fantasy as the girl who would "do goth!". We make believe, we begin to
>rationalize and the think of a thousand reasons why this girl understands
>and cares and has to be "the one". However, soon, the fantasy ends, the
>lights and go on and we are stuck sucking in our breath because damnit
>we allowed ourselves to hope to care.

A club is a lousy place to find a permanent relationship.
Sean, you may find music and the dance and hot & heavy casual sex
at your club, but "the one"? Unlikely. It'll be someplace unexpected,
and while you weren't looking--say, when you fall off a dock while
wearing blue jeans and some embarassingly-non-gothic T-shirt, and
she's this girl in a bikini who looks like she escaped from
"Babewatch"...

(Somewhere, this will happen/has happened to someone. Let me know
who it turns out to be, if you know...)


>relationships and life ever after. It doesn't really happen that wey, at
>least not in my opinion. We simply learn to love ourselves and accept
that
>someday we may find the person with whom we can share our most inner
thoughts
>and dreams, and, well, maybe we won't.

It helps if you learn to love others, too.

--dragoness,
a bit fey this afternoon

--
"So stand as one defiant, yes, and let your voices swell,
Stare that Beastie in the face and really give him Hell!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Alt.gothic.CR Master-at-Arms ---------- cyhi...@usa.pipeline.com

Dragoness Eclectic

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May 20, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/20/96
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On May 18, 1996 17:44:59 in article <Re: Token Goth Boy>,

'hi...@apocalypse.org (Columbine)' wrote:

>Just LIVE your fucking LIFE, and
>maybe The One will turn up and maybe not; but there's nothing like
>obvious emotional hunger to not only attract the sort of shallow
>types tha Sean described, but to *drive away* healthy-spirited
>people.

True. I'll add, "Try friendship for a while; giving affection
without intense emotional need". Find people with common interests,
and do those things with them, just for fun.

>YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO LOVE.

Yes, you are. But, it isn't handed out on a silver platter;
you have to cultivate it and nuture it.

>You may need it, you may deserve it,
>you may have oceans of it to give.

Then give it! There are other ways to express love than in
a romantic one-to-one relationship. Friendship, compassion,
caring about others, helping others...

>But life isn't fair, and expecting it to be fair is emotional
>suicide.

Life isn't "fair", but acts have consequences, and often those
consequences are known beforehand. And love isn't something
that falls out of the sky and hits you by random chance...
unless you're godawful lucky. Cultivate a loving heart, and
Love is a *lot* more likely to find you.

--dragoness
fey AND cryptic today...

Gothic Crusader

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May 21, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/21/96
to

cyhi...@usa.pipeline.com(Dragoness Eclectic) wrote:

>A club is a lousy place to find a permanent relationship.
>Sean, you may find music and the dance and hot & heavy casual sex
>at your club, but "the one"?

i agree with dragoness that clubs are immoral and you shouldn't go to
them.

>Unlikely. It'll be someplace unexpected,
>and while you weren't looking--say, when you fall off a dock while
>wearing blue jeans and some embarassingly-non-gothic T-shirt, and
>she's this girl in a bikini who looks like she escaped from
>"Babewatch"...

the problem with this theory is how will we know if the girl would
accept us for who we are if we: goths. we need to have our goth
clothes on so that we'll know we are being accepted for who we are.

Gothic Crusader

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May 21, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/21/96
to

cyhi...@usa.pipeline.com(Dragoness Eclectic) wrote:

>On May 18, 1996 17:44:59 in article <Re: Token Goth Boy>,
>'hi...@apocalypse.org (Columbine)' wrote:
>
>>Just LIVE your fucking LIFE, and
>>maybe The One will turn up and maybe not; but there's nothing like
>>obvious emotional hunger to not only attract the sort of shallow
>>types tha Sean described, but to *drive away* healthy-spirited
>>people.
>
>True. I'll add, "Try friendship for a while; giving affection
>without intense emotional need". Find people with common interests,
>and do those things with them, just for fun.

yeah, do some things just for fun. like if it's a fat perky goth
female, apply some ice cream to her sweet poontang and lick it off.

Edward Johnson

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May 21, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/21/96
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Gothic Crusader (etu...@scsn.net) wrote:

: especially since i got this reputation for being able to eat poontang


: better than anybody in columbia, south carolina

Hey, there's an achievement. Not too much competition from the
good ol boys, eh?

--i practiced till i
: get real good at it..

Now all he needs is a woman and he's set.

all the women, red, yellers,

~~~~~~~

Old or young?

blacks and whites
: flock to me now.

The only reason people flock to you is cos you work the counter
at the Gas N Gulp.

Ever and Always
Edvamp


Loki

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May 21, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/21/96
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In ashen ink, Black Sun (TGY...@prodigy.com) inscribed:
: i wasn't bothered so much as curious...just wondering why it's such a
: widespread phenomenon. i guess its cause we're all (most of us) human...

Well, it was as much addressed to those who try and inflict their view on
you as it was to you. It's silly for them to proclaim that "someday, you
will meet ..." Maybe you won't. If you do, and it works for you, great,
everyone's happy. If it doesn't, oh well, life goes on.

- Loki, feeling fatalistic at the mo'.


--
+------------------+----------------------------------------------+
| Geoffrey Wiseman | http://tdg.uoguelph.ca/~ontarion/users/geoff |
+------------------+----------------------------------------------+

"Long Live The New Flesh"

Devil in the Black Dress

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May 21, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/21/96
to

On Sun, 19 May 1996, Gothic Crusader wrote:

>
> excuse me, bozo, but the whole purpose in going to the club is to get
> laid.
>
>

> Eddie Turner, The Gothic Crusader!
>
> GREETINGS TO ALL GOTHS!!!
>
>


I guess you gave up going to clubs then...

kisses and smirks...
Lady Ophelia

----,--'--@
GIVE ME MONEY, GIVE ME SEX, GIVE ME BOURBON AND CIGARETTES
----,--'--@


Columbine

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May 22, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/22/96
to

cyhi...@usa.pipeline.com(Dragoness Eclectic) looks damn fine in
rose-colored glasses as she replies to me:

>>YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO LOVE.
>
>Yes, you are. But, it isn't handed out on a silver platter;
>you have to cultivate it and nuture it.

I meant "entitled" as in "an inalienable right" or "something
to be expected." Lots of people deserve to be loved.



>>You may need it, you may deserve it,
>>you may have oceans of it to give.
>
>Then give it! There are other ways to express love than in
>a romantic one-to-one relationship. Friendship, compassion,
>caring about others, helping others...

I'll concur with this, but clarify that it's an "instead of"
rather than an "avenue to" the standard mushy definition. I
live in a world full of beautiful sisters and brothers, and
there are MUCH worse situations to be in.



>>But life isn't fair, and expecting it to be fair is emotional
>>suicide.
>
>Life isn't "fair", but acts have consequences, and often those
>consequences are known beforehand. And love isn't something
>that falls out of the sky and hits you by random chance...
>unless you're godawful lucky. Cultivate a loving heart, and
>Love is a *lot* more likely to find you.

Well - I'd state the - is it inverse? (Perverse perhaps?) That
NOT cultivating a loving heart GUARANTEES that you will not be
loved, but that it's a necessary *but not sufficient* condition
for being loved. It also opens you up to a lot of stuff that
takes a lot of strength to handle, and at 34 it still hits me
pretty damn hard after LOADS of experience.

So, dragoness, yes, being able to love is worth it. But NOT
because it attracts love. It attracts EVERYTHING. Emotional
black holes, users, losers, Mommy-seekers, irresponsible flakes,
worrywarts, and hopeless cases who just think you're being nice
because you're desperate. Love too, but in the usual microscopic
proportion.

But, as the Scarecrow said, "Now I know I have a heart, because
it's breaking." It's good to know you have a heart.

Love, Columbine (chowing down on heartburger again)
--
Burden me not with pity's scorn Columbine
Weep for yourself, but not for me
Enrapt in petals, dancing free hi...@apocalypse.org
While others vie for thorns

David Gerard

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May 27, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/27/96