wake
marika
only it wasn't shag
the oatmeal shag was in the living room, rather than the family room
mk5000
----- Original Message -----
From: "marika" <marik...@gmail.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.uk.coronation-st,alt.usenet.legends.lester-mosley
Sent: Monday, May 05, 2008 9:20 PM
Subject: Re: Back from Blighty
>
> "John W.." <Jo...@Liverpool18.5.com> wrote in message
> news:688urvF...@mid.individual.net...
>
>>
>> I will remember that when my time comes, as I am sure Mudge and Alex
>> will!! ;-)
>>
>
> oh well then i am perfectly healthy
>
> everyone here at works laughs that my physician is an animal doctor
>
>> Welcome back old timer!!
>
> i have a whole long list of things that i not only deny having, but also,
> ruled
> out ever getting!
>
> mk5000
>
> this is a cute poem about a guy sitting in a garden shed very british
>
> When shall we three meet again?
> Summon Telecomms and then:
> Hocus-pocus, someone woke us,
> What brave soul have dared to poke us?
> Summon modem, dial up gloom,
> Down the garding, shadows loom:
> Hubble-bubble, seven spades dubble,
> Billy boil and dixie bubble,
> In the virtual sacred grove
> Sit in Shed, round Primus stove,
> Jug of BA, three PPs,
> Scalded fingers, blackened knees:
> Meths and candles, cobwebs, meeces,
> Garden chamines missing pieces,
> Where's that cauldron? Ah, eye sees,
> Between our very first deep-freeze
> And, wait a minute, what are this?
> Well, keeping it won't come amiss:
> Ho yus, that's where that hooter went
> I'd quite forgotted it were bent,
> Cor, annit's lost its wotsit fing,
> Dilapidation, where's thy sting?
> Anuvver wotsit's on the floor
> Rusting quietly by the door.
> That contraption over there,
> That's the one, a nold deck chair,
> If you think it will untangle
> From the works of yon old mangle
> We can clear a space perhaps
> With the help of certain chaps,
> Not to mention other genders,
> That our spells are wont to send us.
> (That's right, must I paint a mural?
> Here, the other gender's plural)
> Where's that compass? That won't stump us,
> Here it are, now conjure Wumpus,
> Coj and Thomas, Alex, Gooey,
> Carl and Xenophil and Dewey,
> Andrew, Helen, Austin, Mel,
> Me too also and as well,
> Whitedog, Linz, and many more
> Crowding through the virtual door.
> You'd be surprised just how much room -
> Yes, squeeze in here, just move that broom -
> Where was I? Ah yes, in the Shed -
> And throw that out, I think it's dead -
> That's made room for several more
> Compliments of Shedi Law.
> Now then, stranger, seat yourself
> And mind your head on that there shelf.
> Here comes Mike of coj's ilk,
> And, shhhh! A Sheddi, cooked in milk,
> Wait a bit and soon you'll meet
> Someone trying to be sweet:
> It's not a sago pud wot knocks,
> Rapunzel, bless his cotton socks,
> Is on a pudding-only diet:
> It'll pass if we keep quiet.
> Half the eating, twice serener,
> Half as fat, that's semi-leaner.
> Only Shedi think this way -
> "Frotunately" did you say?
> Stranger, you had better stay,
> Assuming you could get away.
> Some folks' specs are rosy-hued:
> Frank's alas, are very rude.
> And when he puts his glasses on -
> It's - Innocence, where hast thou gone?
> Entendres, single, viewed through those
> Exit doubled, minus clothes.
> Here comes Jaimie, Eric too,
> Ancipital, to name a few:
> There's Richard, Tamar, Vulch and Chris,
> And several more I'm bound to miss.
> Who are lurking by that pot?
> Ah, (ducks and runs) I near forgot:
> Rugrat, Sue, and (Bob and Kran,
> Martin, Lizz and Jon and Fran;
> Sofa shedspace, coo, here's Holly -
> Now Doctor John appears, how jolly!
> And others who may be at large -
> Oh! Just in time: you must meet Sparge.
> Oooo-eck! The Master's just dropped in:
> To unremember him's a SIN.
> Oh, careful where you place your foot,
> Always check for hidden tqt.
> Torque of witch, did I say 'check'?
> Think 'red', it's curtings now, by 'eck!
> Oh! Wot molished you turn pale?
> Please avoid that rusty nail.
> Snagged your cardi? Never mind:
> Take this jamjar, you will find
> A needle and some wool in there
> Left for such a quick repair.
>
> Rusty Hinge
>