Plagiarism!..
Lady Edwina Winslet
"Leroy" <Le...@home.in.ghetto> wrote in message
news:GG8ua.307$KA6....@nnrp1.ozemail.com.au...
>
> "Sir John Eccles" <sirjoh...@aol.com> wrote in message
> news:20030507074149...@mb-m05.aol.com...
> > Subject: Re: Plagiarism!.......
>
> (snipped)
>
> > I have had dealings with Marchmont-Fry on numerous occasions and I can
> > assure contributors to this forum that he is impeccably credentialed. A
> > man beyond reproach, unlike our friend Cauldwell, who I seem to recall
> > was dismissed from gainful employment due to an unsavoury episode
> > involving a pig.
> >
> > Rt. Hon. Sir John Eccles,
> > K.C.M.G., D.S.O.
>
>
> It made all the papers in Lincolnshire.
>
> Cauldwell said, in his defence, that it was simply a matter of mistaken
> identity??
>
> Something about the lateness of the hour, poor light, that sort of thing.
> He swore he mistook the pig for Mrs Cauldwell after it emitted a small
> fart and nuzzled his leg, and was in the process of 'giving her one' when
> he was discovered by his horrified employer. In the police statement
> Cauldwell repeatedly mentioned the poor light and insisted that his wife
> was also small and fat. He also stated that she had a not dissimilar body
> odour and invariably grunted when being porked.
>
> A preposterous defence I grant you, and rightly rejected by the jury which
> sent him down for eighteen months.
>
> I believe there was also a matter of paternity involving a well known
> posting identity.
>
> Leroy
My dear Leroy,
I presume that this is in reference to Mr. Phillip Cauldwell and my first
born Serge?
The circumstances surrounding that "matter" as you so delicately put it (and
I thank you for your circumspection) was resolved when Mr. Cauldwell
publicly admitted that he was *not* the father of my child.
I've taken the liberty of posting Mr. Cauldwell's frank and welcome
admission, and my response to it.
As far as I am concerned, the matter is now closed
"mhlife" <mhl...@whatever.com> wrote in message
news:103270002...@dyke.uk.clara.net...
>
> This seems like an ideal opportunity to state publicly that I am not
> Serge's father!
>
> Even his Mother has no real idea of the culprits identity!...........
>
> Oh, and I'm not a Sodomite, either!...........
Mr Cauldwell's frank admission, that he is *not* the father of my first
born, Serge, has lifted a tremendous weight from my shoulders.
For over 30 years I have carried a niggardly doubt concerning Serge's
paternity - a doubt from which I am now able to unburden myself . . .
Mr. Cauldwell worked as a general hand on my late husband's estate in
Lincolnshire, helping primarily, with the day to day running of our piggery.
I confess to taking an instant dislike to him, finding him to be a
particularly repellent and loathsome individual. An oafish brute with
limited intelligence, who to my knowledge rarely bathed, and who had the
shifty and villainous countenance of a scoundrel.
In spite of my entreaties, my late husband refused to dismiss him because of
Mr. Cauldwel's extraordinary understanding and empathy with the pigs in his
charge.
One day, prior to falling pregnant with Serge, I entered the piggery
unannounced to find Mr. Cauldwell committing an act of gross indecency with
one of the fatter sows - the early morning silence *shattered* by the
rythmic slapping of Mr. Cauldwell's frenzied thrusts and the strangled
screams of "YES Annie! YES Annie! YEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!"
Being of delicate disposition, the sight of such depravity immediately saw
me collapse in a swoon, and, whilst lapsing in and out of consciousness, I
had the very real sense that I was being interfered with and was left with
the hazy and disturbing image of a slavering Mr. Cauldwell standing over me
hitching up his stained trousers.
Mr. Cauldwell was immediately dismissed for his appalling act of bestiality.
I was of course, too mortified to tell Sir John of the suspected outrage
upon my person, but when delivered of a beautiful baby boy who bore all the
hallmarks of his impeccable lineage my fears were almost entirely assuaged.
With Mr. Cauldwell's welcome admission, that the events as I recalled, did
in fact not take place, that last small lingering doubt has been put to
rest.
Lady Edwina.
Postscript:
I am not an authority on animal psychology, but within hours of her ordeal
the sow in question was found dead, her head buried in the swill trough in
an apparent suicide.
-Orient-
amount of turgid shit to non-relevant newsgroups
<snip>
Can you please stop cross posting this crap all over the place, I know that
I am cross posting with this message but that is only to make sure you read
it.
It has nothing to do with the majority of the groups it is sent to and it is
bloody boring and irrelevant.
Orient
Steve Parry
reported to ab...@ozemail.com.au
welcome to my kill file
--
Steve Parry
http://www.gwynfryn.co.uk
http://bmwmotorcycles.tripod.com
http://wrexhamseals.tripod.com
Celia Cruttenden
While I, for one, do not care for the content. I must admit it is very
well written. The writers talents are truly misdirected.
Kind regards
Celia C.
Serge
"Steve Parry" <k100r...@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message
news:b9eerp$i0sv5$1...@ID-190837.news.dfncis.de...
You insufferable, pompous ass.
Do you *really* think for one minute, that I would lose a moments sleep over
a minor, almost invisible Usenet Player such as you, using the coward's
device of the killfile?
Not bloody likely sunshine!
As for reporting me to ab...@ozemail.com.au.
I admit to receiving a phone call from Ozemail, my ISP, acting on your
complaint, and what I managed to glean between their uproarious gales of
laughter, was the fact that they had enthusiastically filed in their rubbish
bin.
Serge
Serge
"Celia Cruttenden" <celia...@yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message
news:4fedc2d8.03050...@posting.google.com...
I really wish you hadn't said that Celia.
Such unsolicited plaudits do rankle mhlife so, and explains his current
absence from Usenet.
I expect it will be several days before he stops sulking and returns,
somewhat subdued, in yet another doomed attempt to salvage his battered
reputation.
Serge.
Lady Edwina Winslet
"-Orient-" <.@-.net> wrote in message
news:xstua.212$t9....@newsfep4-glfd.server.ntli.net...
I apologise for being the cause of your annoyance and crave your indulgence
in allowing me to explain.
I'm a firm believer that he who forgets the lessons of history is doomed to
repeat those same mistakes. To that end I targeted newsgroups which I knew
Mr. Cauldwell frequented. By keeping that regrettable episode fresh in his
mind, together with vivid recollections of his subsequent incarceration, it
is hoped that he restrain himself from committing further acts of depravity
upon other unsuspecting sows, or God forbid, chickens and goats
Having explained my need to crosspost, I really must take exception at your
apparent need to resort to profane language.
The word "shit" and "crap" really conjure up the most unsavoury of images
and I would be indebted to you if you would kindly refrain from using this
totally unacceptable form of the Queen's English.
A little decorum please ..... you fornicating little fucker.
Edwina
mhlife
"Serge" <serg...@one.net.au> wrote in message
news:ZmOua.8$S92....@nnrp1.ozemail.com.au...
Ah - they managed to get through, then?
I ask, because, on the three occasions I have tried to ring you, I have just
been answered by a machine with an extremely effeminate voice - or, you
little scamp, was that just you playing tricks?.
Can I check the address with you, my lad? -
J Serge
Platagag Productions
324 South Downling St
Darlinghurst 2010
New South Wales
...and the telephone number? (02) 9356 2707
Yes, I thought they were correct! - so why do I keep getting the machine?
Pick up. my boy! - it might be some photographic work!
BTW, congratulations on expunging your records from the Google search engine
(well, most of them). However, that's not really fair on your fans - is
it?. A popular young Usenet artiste like you must really learn to overcome
this surprising element of shyness! in your character - people want to meet
you, my boy!, they want to congratulate you on your success.
So don't be a miserable bastard, and disappoint them.
Serge
"mhlife" <acce...@thebestplaces.com> wrote in message
news:105250321...@doris.uk.clara.net...
>
> BTW, congratulations on expunging your records from the Google search
> engine (well, most of them). However, that's not really fair on your
> fans - is it?. A popular young Usenet artiste like you must really learn
> to overcome this surprising element of shyness! in your character - people
> want to meet you, my boy!, they want to congratulate you on your success.
Jesus Phil, you bloody Luddite.
I haven't expunged any of my posts from the Google archives.
Just go to Google, then to Groups; then to advanced search; type in *any*
word you remember from a particular post; type in the author, and if you
wish the newsgroup, and hey presto! up it comes. Quite simple really.
I fully understand your need to relive the magic of my past posts and if you
give me a general outline, I'll be happy to retrieve them for you.
However, having said that, I rather suspect you were trying to find the
following, so I've saved us both a lot of trouble and simply retrieved them
for you.
From: Sacha (sa...@garden506.fsnet.co.uk)
Subject: Serge the despicable
Newsgroups: alt.gossip.royalty
Date: 2003-02-27 09:55:23 PST
Do you know, Sue emailed me and a couple of other people, hesitant about
posting that Dana had died just because she feared someone like Serge would
show up and write as he did. She didn't want Dana's truly tragic death, a
bereft husband and two motherless children to become a target for such
candidates for a mental institution.
Naturally, a few of us chatted about this in email and eventually, Sue felt
it 'safe' to post and while most of us had our worries, we were fairly sure
nobody on agr was so despicably low to do what Serge has done. You have to
be mentally deranged to write such a terrible thing when a young woman has
died suddenly and tragically - it's the only excuse I can think of.
I don't respond to this fool's posts but I know a few people who do. I
sincerely hope that they will now give him the cold shoulder once, for all
and for ever. Personally, I'm not going to reply to or talk to Serge or
anyone else who acknowledges his slimy existence. I'd rather not associate
with him or anyone here who 'talks' to him. He isn't fit to be called a
human being.
To you Serge, I can only say that one day, I hope you get what you so richly
deserve and happily, ecstatically in fact, I have every confidence that you
will.
-- Sacha
From: Crbtwnhssy (crbtw...@aol.com)
Subject: Re: To Peggy (was: crbtwnhssy
Newsgroups: alt.gossip.royalty
Date: 2003-03-04 07:00:43 PST
Crbtwnhssy wrote:
Dana was a good person in many ways and while her death was sad, don't
overlook that her own posts showed how much contempt she had for Diana and
her tragic death.
She could barely post about any aspect of her life without contempt, harsh
judgments, crude language, all because of what she felt this outsider did to
her beloved House of Windsor without considering the behavior of the born
royals.
She posted on the the Diana boards for years, honing that thar style, and
she didn't care who she hurt or offended or that Diana too was a dead young
mother. She used to refer to her as that dead royal whore. And I am not
debating that or her opinions. I contrasted information Dana herself put
forth.
From: yaffaDina (yaffa...@netscape.net)
Subject: Re: To Peggy (was: crbtwnhssy
Newsgroups: alt.gossip.royalty
Date: 2003-03-03 07:21:24 PST
NewNom wrote:
>
> Your posts today are utterly beneath contempt.
In your opinion.
> I see no whitewash taking place, only the natural expressions that decent,
> feeling human beings make in the wake of a loss. Most of us also don't go
> to funerals and interrupt the eulogy with "the other side," lest anyone be
> led to believe the deceased was perfect.
This is not a funeral, and in this instance, crbtwnhssy, I suspect, was as
fed up as I got by all the, if not whitewashing, then glorification of Dana
and her posts.
> This isn't some academic newsgroup argument. It's a real-life tragedy that
> happened to a member of this community. Those who don't agree with the
> sentiments being posted need say nothing. To go to the lengths of
> re-posting articles, as you and some others have done, really beggars
> belief.
Does that include the post where Dana justified her dislike of Princess
Diana, with the immortal words that *she* (Dana) had what Diana wanted? Or
just the posts *you* think should *not* have been reposted?
YD
In light of Crbtwnhssy and yaffaDina's character assessment of Dana, my
(what many considered to be an intemperate) remark appears to have been
completely justified.
Now let's cut to the chase Phil . . .
"I don't respond to this fool's posts but I know a few people who do. I
sincerely hope that they will now give him the cold shoulder once, for all
and for ever. Personally, I'm not going to reply to or talk to Serge or
anyone else who acknowledges his slimy existence. I'd rather not associate
with him or anyone here who 'talks' to him. He isn't fit to be called a
human being."
Is *that* when you decided to seize the moment?
You know, to follow Sacha's advice in the hope of being allowed back into
the fold?
Or, did you, as a man of God, wish to retrieve the post so you could throw
Sacha's death wish back in her face
"To you Serge, I can only say that one day, I hope you get what you so
richly deserve and happily, ecstatically in fact, I have every confidence
that you will."
-- Sacha
I trust the latter was the case.
mhlife
"Serge" <serg...@one.net.au> wrote in message <
> Jesus Phil, you bloody Luddite.<
Aha! - so, you're rattled! - I can tell by the blasphemy, you always resort
to profane and irreligious language when you worry about people being on
your trail...
______________
I rather suspect you were trying to find the
> following...>>
Not at all! - your gloating over a dead woman is not something that /I
would ever wish to retrieve from the sewer!
Anyway, what about my attempts to ring you for a chat! - are you ever going
to answer the phone?......
Go on! - it will be fun, we have so much to talk about - and I'll be paying
the bill....
It's for you-oooooooo......