Former QVC Smarm Jeff Hewson to Wed Himself in Bizarre Ceremony
ChsFKane
In a strange and sick ceremony involving a mirror, a rope and a monkey, Jeffrey
Hewson, former QVC schlock saleman, plans to marry himself on the web.
Hewson was fired by QVC after marrying fellow QVC host Judy Crowell and
instantly dumping her..... screaming the marriage was staged by the company.
QVC was obviously worried about the safety of those sweaty young men in the
warehouse when Gay boy toy Hewson was splattered all over the trash tabloids.
Following his unceremonious dump from the Q he went undercover at Mom's house
until the debut of his web site devoted to self love. You too may visit the
temple of Hewsondom at http://members.aol.co m/Jeffe ryH/Hewson.htm.
It is on this web site that Hewson will marry HIMSELF, upstaging even Michael
Jackson's bizarre nuptials. The monkey, an older female named Kathy, will
officiate.
Mr. Hewson can be reached via his web site. Please RSVP for the upcoming
wedding today!
Charles Foster Kane
"Rosebud!"
Grnbrier
chsf...@aol.com wrote:
>In a strange and sick ceremony involving a mirror, a rope and a monkey,
Now WHY, praytell, do you feel compelled to discuss Mr. Hewson's everyday sex
life in a newsgroup? I feel confident that Mr. Hewson would be very upset if he
knew ALL the details of his "boudoir activities" were being tossed about like
so many Diamonique Gemstones(tm).
>Jeffrey
That would be JeffERY. Please. You've just revealed yourself to be not a TRUE
"JeffERY"-phile. How can we take *anything* you say seriously from here on
out???
>Hewson, former QVC schlock saleman, plans to marry himself on the web.
I guess having *two* faces allows one to marry one's SELF pretty easily.
>Hewson was fired by QVC after marrying fellow QVC host Judy Crowell and
>instantly dumping her..... screaming the marriage was staged by the company.
Wouldn't *you* scream if you woke up in bed next to 'ol "horse-choppers"
Crowell???
<snip of disrespectful rant>
>It is on this web site that Hewson will marry HIMSELF, upstaging even Michael
>Jackson's bizarre nuptials. The monkey, an older female named Kathy, will
>officiate.
Kathy is actually an Orangutan. Please do not confuse that species with
"monkey."
>Mr. Hewson can be reached via his web site. Please RSVP for the upcoming
>wedding today!
Which bathhouse is the site of the reception?
>Charles Foster Kane
>"Rosebud!"
"TOVA" would be more appropriate in this case, Chuck.
Doogie
NoItAllll
Again, what does this mean? Do you know he is living with his mother? Why
would you be so mean to such a nice person? And what if he is living with his
mother? Maybe you do too, how do we know?
Connie
Reetswh
Connie (noit...@aol.com) defended her QVC hero:
>Again, what does this mean? Do you know he is living with his mother?
From his own lips honey. He left out *that* quote from the Indianapolis Star
on his webpage.
<snip>
> And what if he is living with
>his
>mother?
There ain't nothing wrong with it, honey. It was good for Norman Bates, it's
okay for JeffERY.
> Maybe you do too, how do we know?
Anything's possible, but here we discuss real or delusional celebrities, and
not other posters. Unless they happen to be famous.
Reets
>
>Connie
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Suzanne900
>Anything's possible, but here we discuss real or delusional celebrities, and
>not other posters. Unless they happen to be famous.
>
>Reets
Well Reets, soon you may be famous, you are already the star of JeffERY's
website. :)
Suzanne
aka SpiceDrop
[Poor Bill Paxton, all alone not being Kept]
Keeper of Adrian Paul
