6-6-06
SyVyN11
learned anything from the movies, it's that when the world ends, you must be
drunk. If not, your brains gets scrambled and you wind up dying like that
black guy on Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan when they put that bug in his ear.
That would be a sucky way to go. You're kicking back, enjoying your day and
then the next thing you know, you have a bug crawling up your ear canal,
eating away at your brain.
I bet that's how the world ends tomorrow. We'll all be sitting there,
watching Oprah or The Maury Show and we'll be about ready to find out who
the daddy is of Laquanda's baby, when we start getting headaches. Kind of
like an ice cream headache, but worse. You'll walk into the kitchen or
bathroom to get some aspirin and then we'll drop to the floor, clutching our
heads. At first, we'll think it's like that scene from X2 where Magneto
starts killing all the humans, but instead, it's Lucifer or Mohammad (yikes,
the Muslims are going to hate me) bringing about the end of the world. But
he'll be a bitch about it and let us stand up, but then he'll start up the
headaches again and we'll be on the floor faster than Jessica Simpson's
panties when Nick Lachey finally tapped that ass.
Where will God be during all of this? Playing cribbage with Gandhi and Abe
Lincoln. They'll be toasted off their asses and good ol' honest Abe will
suggest they raise the stakes to strip cribbage and before long, we'll know
why they called Gandhi "11 Inch Baldy". Gandhi will be good and drunk and
start doing the DX crotch chop and God will be pissed off and demand that
Gandhi join the Jesus Kiss My Ass Club.
Back on earth, the seven plagues of man will begin. First, all the wine will
be turned to water. Then, all the implants in hoochie mamas will revert to
bags of water and their boobens will be hanging near their knees. The other
plagues will consist of burritos tasting bad, potatoes growing feet and arms
and becoming self aware, all Macs crashing, all PCs working perfectly and
strippers will start taking credit cards which sends the planet into credit
debt in a matter of seconds.
Finally, the world will turn black and all the TVs will switch to channel
666 which will show nothing but reruns of the Golden Girls, Webster and Mr.
Belvedere. Truly, the world will be over as we know it.
SyVyN11 saying at least I'll go down as a prophet or totally insane.
--
"I don't know what a 'hollaback girl' is. All I know is that I want to
kill her!
- Brian Grffith
"a slap to the face is humilation, a slap to the back of the head is a wake
up call."
-NCIS Agent Jethro Gibbs
Claire
"SyVyN11" <711rob...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:UT7hg.2119$lf4...@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...
Scoot over and stop bogartin' the Haagen-Daz
<g>
Libbie
mc
Libbie wrote:
> My kids want to know why the world didn't end June 6, 1006.
Mom, you done good.
mc
J. B.
> On Tue, 06 Jun 2006 07:57:04 -0500, in alt.gossip.celebrities, Libbie <Lib...@lbh.com>
> arranged some electrons, so they looked like this:
>
>
> ... >
> ... My kids want to know why the world didn't end June 6, 1006.
>
> The year 666 is past, too.
Given the time Revelation was written, shouldn't we be looking for 'DCLXVI'
instead of 666?
Big J
news:iwnq6v9zi8g1$.pe27lqt...@40tude.net:
Probably not...as none of the original Bible was in Latin. Hmmm, what were
the Greek or Aramaic numbering systems...
Big J
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maryanne kehoe
Not when it comes to the lottery. Several years ago here 666 was drawn
in Cash 3, and all the religiious groups wanted the lottery commission
to cancel that drawing and do a re-draw.