Anna Nicole Smith fears a distorted portrait
PUSSSYKATT
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
Believe it or not, for Anna Nicole Smith, letting her life play out on
television - no matter how it looks to viewers - was a way to beat the blues.
"I was so depressed," Smith told The News yesterday. "I was almost dying in my
bed. I decided it's time to get out of the house."
Since mid-May, E! Entertainment camera crews have been tagging alongside the
former Playboy Playmate to gather footage of her life for "The Anna Nicole
Show," which starts Sunday at 10 p.m.
It must be working.
Since taking on the project, Smith said, she has left home more than she has in
months, allowing cameras to document such milestones as her house-hunting,
dining out and root-canal surgery.
But after watching early clips of the series - the latest in the crush of
"Osbournes" copycats - Smith isn't sure she likes what she has seen.
For starters, the 34-year-old Smith, who's also a former Guess jeans model, is
worried that viewers will mistakenly think her slow speech is brought on by
alcohol.
Howard Stern, who praised a preview tape he acquired of Smith's show, raised
the issue on the air yesterday.
"I saw a piece of the show and thought, omigod, I look completely stoned and
drunk out of my mind," Smith said. "I have a Southern drawl that makes me sound
drunk all the time, but it's not from drugs or alcohol. It's just the way that
I talk, and I can't fix it."
She's also not so happy that she was absent-minded and left a microphone on
while she was in the bathroom, where cameras are not present.
(Critics who saw clips last month in California have been unkind, wondering
aloud whether Smith realizes she comes off as a dim bulb.)
"There's things I wish I hadn't said, about the cameras being there and stuff,"
Smith said. "Sometimes they get in the way, even though they're not supposed
to. You get upset, and sometimes you say things you might not mean."
Smith, who is still engaged in a seven-year legal battle over the
multimillion-dollar estate of her late husband, J. Howard Marshall, also may be
wishing she hadn't dragged her 16-year-old, Daniel, into the picture.
"He hates the cameras being around, but he said he'd do it for his mom," she
added.
Despite Smith's concerns over what reaches the screen, there's little she can
do about it. E! programmers have creative control of the show.
Executive producer Jeff Shore said E! will air 13 episodes of "The Anna Nicole
Show," which - along with footage of Smith - will include her lawyer, Howard K.
Stern; her purple-haired assistant, Kim Walther, and her miniature poodle,
Sugar Pie.
"The show might be cut so that I look like a dumb blond," Smith said. "But if
people are going to love me, they'll love me. If they're going to hate me,
they'll hate me. I just want people to know that I'm not a b----. I want people
to think I'm a good person."
* * *
By BETH HARRIS, Associated Press Writer
LOS ANGELES (AP) - When last seen by America, Anna Nicole Smith was locked in a
seven-year legal battle over her late husband's Texas oil fortune.
The former Playboy Playmate, who has yet to collect a dime, has decided it's
time to get back to work.
So instead of seeing Smith in courtroom footage on the evening news, viewers
can peep at her bizarre world when E! Entertainment Television debuts "The Anna
Nicole Show" on Sunday at 10 p.m. EDT.
The 13 episodes are an attempt by E! to cash in on the celebrity reality craze
initiated with great success by MTV's "The Osbournes."
"We've been trying to figure out what we can do with Anna because we know
there's this fascination that people have with her," said Mark Sonnenberg, E!
executive vice president of entertainment.
"When `The Osbournes' came out, it was a no-brainer to us. Let's put the
cameras on her and let's do a show."
Since May, cameras have been trailing the 34-year-old former stripper and
Guess? model from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed. Among the
scenes captured are Smith telling her black toy poodle to stop passing gas, and
the buxom blonde looking into her shirt, saying "Hello, down there."
"I haven't had sex in two years," Smith grumbles on camera.
Later, she has a twinge of regret.
"That's one of those things you say that you wish you didn't," Smith said later
in an interview. She claims she isn't dating anyone currently.
Another embarrassing moment occurred when Smith forgot to turn off the
microphones in the bathroom.
"At first, it was kind of crazy, but now I've learned to live with my crew,"
she said.
Advertising for the show says, "It's not supposed to be funny ... it just is."
Smith admits E! is probably making fun of her, but she plays the good sport.
"My life is funny," she said. "There's things that happen to me all the time,
and it just is funny."
The channel first encountered Smith when it chose to make a 1997 "E! True
Hollywood Story" about her. She didn't participate in the episode, which was
later expanded to two hours and is still shown.
"She was very honest, she did not like the `True Hollywood Story,'" said
Sonnenberg, noting that the episode still doubles or triples its viewer total
with each airing. When the channel asked to talk with her about a series, "We
didn't know if she was going to come in and tell us off."
Instead, an eager Smith said yes, relieved at the prospect of doing something
other than sitting in courtrooms.
"It was just the perfect time for me to get out," she said.
A bankrupty court ruled in December 2000 that Smith was entitled to $475
million of her late husband's fortune. A federal judge reduced that to $88
million in March, but the son of J. Howard Marshall plans to appeal.
Marshall was 90 when he died in 1995, 14 months after marrying Smith.
She doesn't plan to discuss him on the show. "I'd like to keep that private,"
she said with a straight face.
Viewers can tag along as Smith goes bowling, hits the batting cage, checks out
Hollywood parties, visits the dentist and takes driving lessons.
"I've always had a driver, so I've never gotten a license," she said.
Like any celebrity worth her salt, Smith is surrounded by an entourage. Howard
K. Stern (not the radio host) is her attorney; Kim Walther is her purple-haired
assistant; and Daniel is her 16-year-old son from her first marriage, to Billy
Smith, whom she worked with at Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken in Mexia, Texas.
"I love my mom, but I hate the cameras," announces Daniel, who, along with
Stern, is the most normal-looking of the bunch.
And Smith hardly goes anywhere without Sugar Pie, the Prozac-popping poodle
with her own therapist.
"If I go out somewhere, she won't eat and she won't drink and she just shakes
until I get back," Smith said. "She's just crazy about her mom."
Walther is more than a dedicated employee; she sports a tattoo of Smith on her
left arm.
"I wanted to have something that down the road I would still be happy with, and
she's a great person," said Walther, whose duties include grocery shopping,
paying bills and picking up Daniel from school.
While Smith awaits the outcome of her legal battles, she plans to get back into
modeling and write her memoirs.
The woman who admires, and resembles, Marilyn Monroe and Christie Brinkley
hopes the show gives her some credibility and boosts her acting career. She has
had small roles in some TV shows and movies.
"People will see that maybe I have a little talent and will start to take me
seriously as an actress," she said.
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Craig Smith
>"People will see that maybe I have a little talent and will start to take me
>seriously as an actress," she said.
Gee, I didn't know TWANS was a stand-up comic, too! That's
hysterical!
.:. Craig