How Stella Lost Her Groove
Dustbunny
In a tale rich in lost love, closeted secrets and acrimonious divorce, it
turns out that famed local writer Terry McMillan -- whose celebrated romance
and subsequent marriage to a man 23 years her junior became the subject of
her fictionized best-seller "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" --
actually got her groove back with a man who now says he's gay.
The story is spilling out in made-for-Hollywood detail in Contra Costa County
Superior Court, where McMillan has filed for divorce from her Jamaican- born
husband of six years, Jonathan Plummer.
McMillan, 53, said in court documents that the marriage was based on a
"fraud'' because Plummer lied about his sexual orientation -- and married her
only to gain U.S. citizenship.
"It was devastating to discover that a relationship I had publicized to the
world as life-affirming and built on mutual love was actually based on
deceit,'' she wrote in her declaration. "I was humiliated."
Plummer, 30, countered in court papers of his own that McMillan has turned on
him with a "homophobic'' vengeance and is trying to force his return to an
uncertain future in Jamaica. He wants to void the couple's prenuptial
agreement that would keep from him most of the millions she's earned as a
writer.
He also claims he was denied his full share of royalties, as spelled out in
the prenup, from "How Stella Got Her Groove Back," the fictionalized account
of a single mother's torrid relationship with a Jamaican young enough to be
her son that very much parallels the lives of McMillan and Plummer.
Plummer's attorney, Dolores Sargent, said her client has no interest in
embarrassing McMillan or extorting money from her.
"All I want to do is settle the case in a way that's fair to both parties ...
and that allows Jonathan sufficient funds to re-establish himself,'' Sargent
said. "And we have been blocked.''
In court papers, however, McMillan leaves little doubt that she believes
Plummer was always motivated by money.
"Jonathan has manipulated me from the very beginning in his scheme to come to
the United States, become a citizen and get rich through someone else's
effort,'' McMillan wrote in one of her filings.
In fact, McMillan says Plummer zeroed in on her precisely because of her
celebrity status as an author whose earlier books included "Waiting to
Exhale, '' which sold some 4 million copies and was made into a movie.
In an interview, Plummer insisted that he didn't know he was gay when he met
McMillan in June 1995 at a Jamaican resort. Nor, he says, did he seize on the
author's fame.
"I was a 20-year-old kid when I met her and had no idea that she was anybody
other than an attractive, older woman,'' he said in court papers.
For her part, McMillan, who was then 42, said she worried when she first met
Plummer that he was interested only in her money. "But Jonathan was very
charming and made me believe that he was crazy about me,'' she told the
court.
The two eventually married in Maui on Sept. 8, 1998 -- but not before Plummer
signed a prenup that waived his rights to everything should they ever part,
including "temporary and permanent spousal support and attorney's fees, ''
according to court papers filed by McMillan.
The couple settled in McMillan's $4 million Danville home and, at least
according to Plummer, enjoyed a happy life -- until the last few years when
the marriage started coming undone.
"He became less attentive, less charming, more distracted and absent from the
home,'' McMillan wrote in her declaration.
Plummer said he was spending long hours with a dog-grooming business in
Danville that McMillan had set up for him a couple of years ago in apparent
anticipation of a split.
It wasn't until just before last Christmas, Plummer says, that the two
finally split -- after he revealed he was gay.
"I was kicked out of the house in December right after I told her,'' he said
in the interview.
In court records, however, McMillan says Plummer confessed to being gay only
after she confronted him about all his hours of phone calls to a male friend
living in Jamaica. She also says she later learned that Plummer was
participating in online gay chat sites.
In any event, judging from the court filings, the disclosure quickly turned
ugly. McMillan obtained a restraining order to keep Plummer from their house,
and she claimed she recently discovered that Plummer had embezzled at least
$200,000 from her bank accounts before and during their marriage. (He admits
in court papers "a gross error of judgment" in taking $62,000 without her
knowledge, but said that he was financially dependent on her during the
marriage and that he intends to pay it back.)
Plummer obtained his own restraining order against the author, alleging that
McMillan constantly harassed him for coming out of the closet, and at one
point walked into his dog-grooming business and tossed a ceramic object
across the room.
"She kept calling me, saying nasty things about me being gay, calling me a
fag,'' Plummer said in an interview.
In a Jan. 14 letter written by McMillan and filed with the court, the author
told Plummer, "The reason you're going to make a great fag is that most of
you guys are just like dogs anyway. ... You do whatever with whomever pleases
you and don't seem to care about the consequences."
Plummer also says McMillan came into the dog-grooming shop and left him a
bottle of Jamaican hot pepper sauce on which she wrote, "Fag Juice Burn Baby
Burn,'' and that she also scrawled "Jonathan's Fag boyfriend Fag'' on a photo
of a friend.
"She is an extremely angry woman who is homophobic and is lashing out at me
because I have learned I am gay,'' Plummer declared in a court filing last
month.
Tina
I'd be angry too if my husband cheated on me and pretended to be
straight when he was really gay. I'm glad she had the good sense to
make the guy sign a prenup before she married him.
nina
Dustbunny wrote:
> from the SF Chronicle:
>
> In a tale rich in lost love, closeted secrets and acrimonious divorce, it
> turns out that famed local writer Terry McMillan -- whose celebrated romance
> and subsequent marriage to a man 23 years her junior became the subject of
> her fictionized best-seller "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" --
> actually got her groove back with a man who now says he's gay.
>
he looked gay
Tina
Is there a photo of him somewhere? I'd like to take a look too....
Dustbunny
(in article <1119808530.9...@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>):
And he's a dog-groomer. Totally gay ;-) !
Evelyn
Raqui
He's going to get paid, pre-nup or not. Pre-nups is the past have not
*protected* people, they have acted as a sort of bendable fence, and not
allowed people to get goo gobs of money and property, but a good attorney is
going to get it somewhat invalidated...watch.
Leet...@hotmail.com
He sure did look gay. I wonder how she couldn't have known? I was a
wee lass when they got married and when I saw him I thought, "He looks
fruity!"
http://www.randomhouse.com/features/elynnharris/art/mcmillan.jpg
nina
Ya know. I mean, sometimes its just stereotyping. But I really was like
"Hmm, I dunno about ole boy there. He looks a little too sweet to me"
Raqui
>> Is there a photo of him somewhere? I'd like to take a look too....
>
> He sure did look gay. I wonder how she couldn't have known? I was a
> wee lass when they got married and when I saw him I thought, "He looks
> fruity!"
>
> http://www.randomhouse.com/features/elynnharris/art/mcmillan.jpg
He kind of looks like the guy Star Jones married. I wonder if the two guys
are related?
MaryLong2
only be in the 6 years they were married. She's got a really good case
as he misrepresented himself.
Raqui
"MaryLong2" <mary...@msn.com> wrote in message
news:1119813650....@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> It shoudl protect her greatly. And if he does get any money it would
> only be in the 6 years they were married. She's got a really good case
> as he misrepresented himself.
Maybe he did. maybe he didn't. I mean they had to share a bed for at least 2
years. They had to have sex. If you are gay, could you see spreading YOUR
legs for a man for 2 years. If you're not, could you see doing that same for
a woman? Which leads us to *bisexuality* in which case he didn't *lie* to
her, he just omitted something:-)
MaryLong2
1. she had a prenup. it states if they divorce he gets no money.
Anna Nicole did not get any money. that got turned over and there was
a lot more at stake.
why should people make money off of each other. He's 33, young and
he's got his own business. She got him into the states -- I'd say he's
already ahead of the game. Think about it, what does she owe him.
NOTHING. He brought nothing to that relationship with him.
Raqui
Well he *did* bring her happiness for a while. *That's* something. You're
right, she got him into the states, and got him his own dog grooming
business. But ALL prenups can be challenged, don't believe me, Google it,
and some prenups can, and have been invalidated. We'll see because I for you
don't know the details of that prenup.But if he didn't have an attorney
explain it to him, *that's* a reason to challenge it.
SoCally
country and didn't understand what he signed. But other than that, the
whole gay thing pretty much assures that the prenup will stand up in
court. He might get some small about under 100K, which isn't much for a
millionaire to part with.
Raqui
"SoCally" <foa...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1119817135.2...@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
Regardless of the amount, it would be *something*. Which is pretty much what
I said. But the whole *gay* thing doesn't do anything in my book. I'm sure
he did his *duty* in the bedroom, otherwise she wouldn't have stayed with
him that long, and didn't the article say she suspected his sexual
orientation recently, the last couple of years? He *omitted* liking men, but
still gave her the *big* one and for a while, she was satisfied. Nah, he'll
get paid, and more than the 100k.
Rosie The Dog
wrote:
>
> He kind of looks like the guy Star Jones married. I wonder if the two guys
> are related?
Yes. They are boyfriends.
JAH
>
>"MaryLong2" <mary...@msn.com> wrote in message
>news:1119813650....@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>> It shoudl protect her greatly. And if he does get any money it would
>> only be in the 6 years they were married. She's got a really good case
>> as he misrepresented himself.
>
>Maybe he did. maybe he didn't. I mean they had to share a bed for at least 2
>years. They had to have sex.
But it didn't have to be "penetration." They could have diddled each
other, if you get my drift.
JAH
Net Crimes & Misdemeanors
www.netcrimes.net
www.livejournal.com/users/netcrimes/
Raqui
"JAH" <anothe...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:42bfe5f6...@news-server.maine.rr.com...
> On Sun, 26 Jun 2005 12:28:41 -0700, "Raqui" <West...@TV.com> wrote:
>
>>
>>"MaryLong2" <mary...@msn.com> wrote in message
>>news:1119813650....@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>>> It shoudl protect her greatly. And if he does get any money it would
>>> only be in the 6 years they were married. She's got a really good case
>>> as he misrepresented himself.
>>
>>Maybe he did. maybe he didn't. I mean they had to share a bed for at least
>>2
>>years. They had to have sex.
>
> But it didn't have to be "penetration." They could have diddled each
> other, if you get my drift.
>
> JAH
>
lol...yeah I get it. But she didn't know or even *think* he was gay when
they first got together, so I think he had to be throwing down:-) I mean she
says she didn't have an inkling he was interested in men. I would think if
they just *diddled* questions would have come up.
nina
I just cant wait to see the movie. I imagine there will be a scene
where the female lead channels Chris Rock and runs into the dog
groomers throwing mugs screaming "F@ggot motherfkcer, f@ggot ass
f@ggot"
Terry is probably somewhere poppin Ativan.Sounds like this just
"scratched her record".
Raqui
"nina" <nina...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1119886535.3...@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
I got a question for the females. If you ran into a guy, that was in his
20's...you liked him, *married* him, he *diddled* in bed, but never gave you
the *wood*, would you become kind of suspicious?
nina
Raqui wrote:
> >> lol...yeah I get it. But she didn't know or even *think* he was gay when
> >> they first got together, so I think he had to be throwing down:-) I mean
> >> she
> >> says she didn't have an inkling he was interested in men. I would think
> >> if
> >> they just *diddled* questions would have come up.
> >
> > I just cant wait to see the movie. I imagine there will be a scene
> > where the female lead channels Chris Rock and runs into the dog
> > groomers throwing mugs screaming "F@ggot motherfkcer, f@ggot ass
> > f@ggot"
> > Terry is probably somewhere poppin Ativan.Sounds like this just
> > "scratched her record".
>
> I got a question for the females. If you ran into a guy, that was in his
> 20's...you liked him, *married* him, he *diddled* in bed, but never gave you
> the *wood*, would you become kind of suspicious?
Hell yeah. And for 6 years? I wish I would.
Naw. He has to come (no pun intended) a little better than that.
But that man looked gay. I cant explain it without feeling like im some
kinda prejudiced person, but his posture and expression and grooming
just made me really think he was not straight. Maybe bi.But definitely
not straight.
Foxglove Adams
"Raqui" <West...@TV.com> wrote in message
news:nvVve.9904$go.1469@fed1read05...
>
> I got a question for the females. If you ran into a guy, that was in his
> 20's...you liked him, *married* him, he *diddled* in bed, but never gave
you
> the *wood*, would you become kind of suspicious?
>
Well duh, of course. Of course just looking at the particular man in this
equation, he looks poofy anyway.
Foxglove Adams
.
> But that man looked gay. I cant explain it without feeling like im some
> kinda prejudiced person, but his posture and expression and grooming
> just made me really think he was not straight. Maybe bi.But definitely
> not straight.
I agree. Even before this occured I recall seeing a picture of the unhappy
couple. Even then he tripped my gaydar.
nina
caroli...@sc.rr.com wrote:
> I am 46 and I look very good for my age--but 20 year olds are not
> interested in me. Fact of life.
>
> I think, realistically, a 43 year old would have to think very
> carefully about why a 20 year old would want to marry them. If the 43
> year old is wealthy and an American citizen and the 20 year old is not
> either of these things, well......connect the dots.
>
> And that goes for ANYBODY, male, female, straight or gay. If a person
> is willing to marry WAY outside of their age bracket, there's a reason
> besides Twoo Lurve. Twoo Lurve may be a part of it, but there's always
> something else.
>
> I was suspicious of this "love affair" from the start..
Same. And I winced everytime she went on and on and on about him. I was
seeing the inevitable humiliating breakup and I just wanted her to hush
and save her dignity.
Raqui
I know you are not, but it sounds like you're talking about Star Jones.
nina
Raqui wrote:
> "nina" <nina...@gmail.com> wrote in message
> > Same. And I winced everytime she went on and on and on about him. I was
> > seeing the inevitable humiliating breakup and I just wanted her to hush
> > and save her dignity.
>
> I know you are not, but it sounds like you're talking about Star Jones.
Ugh. Her too. WHY WHY WHY???
*sigh*
nina
Lisa Drake
"nina" <nina...@gmail.com> wrote:
> http://byroncrawford.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/ba_h
> appy.jpg
>
> nina wrote:
> > Raqui wrote:
> > > "nina" <nina...@gmail.com> wrote in message
> >
> > > > Same. And I winced everytime she went on and on and on about him. I was
> > > > seeing the inevitable humiliating breakup and I just wanted her to hush
> > > > and save her dignity.
> > >
> > > I know you are not, but it sounds like you're talking about Star Jones.
> >
> > Ugh. Her too. WHY WHY WHY???
> > *sigh*
>
He looks like one of those fetal alcohol syndrome babies...(no offense
to the babies)
nimue
God, that picture bothers me. She looks SO happy and he looks posed. I
feel bad for her. She is a very attractive woman, too. I don't know why
she fell for him.
--
nimue
"Have fun storming the castle!"
nina
A few people have said that he looks retarded.
poor guy
nina
I know. It was horrible to see a successful attractive woman go apeshit
over that ugly ass little boy. I TOLD her (mentally) to be quiet and
stop gushing. It just made her seem desperate that she was all gooogoo
eyed over *that*??!!
Dustbunny
(in article <1119959737.8...@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>):
OMG. I was picturing some really hot-looking young guy, but eeuuuuwwww. WTF
did she see in him in the first place??
Evelyn
Razzle Bathbone
wrote:
>OMG. I was picturing some really hot-looking young guy, but eeuuuuwwww. WTF
>did she see in him in the first place??
>
>Evelyn
It wasn't what she saw IN him, it was what she saw ON him.
Razzle------get with the program, Evelyn.
Dustbunny
(in article <gpp2c1lrujki97itf...@4ax.com>):
Ehhh, I dunno...with a face like that, I wouldn't be able to
enjoy...erm...the rest of him.
Evelyn
Raqui
"Dustbunny" <who...@earthlinc.net> wrote in message
news:0001HW.BEE6C9C5...@news.west.earthlink.net...
Damn, and you guys say men are superficial!!! Beauty is in the "eye of the
beholder". So what if she wasn't wearing her contacts that day:-)
Razzle Bathbone
wrote:
Well you could always do as the Brits do, lay back and dream of
England.
Razzle-----------------or you could always go the paper bag route.
nimue
I know -- and desperate WHY? I mean, she is very attractive and very
successful. She must have no self-esteem, poor thing.
Leetiebug
I don't know about having no self-esteem. I think she was just bowled
over by a younger man finding her sexually attractive when she was in
her mid 40s. I do believe this guy must be bi, because he had to be
putting it on her something serious for her to gush about him publicly,
write a thinly veiled novel about their romance, marry him and set him
up with his own business. I think she was "dickmatized."
nina
Leetiebug wrote:
>
> I don't know about having no self-esteem. I think she was just bowled
> over by a younger man finding her sexually attractive when she was in
> her mid 40s. I do believe this guy must be bi, because he had to be
> putting it on her something serious for her to gush about him publicly,
> write a thinly veiled novel about their romance, marry him and set him
> up with his own business. I think she was "dickmatized."
thats just ridickulous
eartha...@yahoo.com
Raqui wrote:
> >>
> >> Is there a photo of him somewhere? I'd like to take a look too....
> >
> > He sure did look gay. I wonder how she couldn't have known? I was a
> > wee lass when they got married and when I saw him I thought, "He looks
> > fruity!"
> >
> > http://www.randomhouse.com/features/elynnharris/art/mcmillan.jpg
>
> He kind of looks like the guy Star Jones married. I wonder if the two guys
> are related?
He sure doesn't look like Taye Diggs.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/object/article?f=/c/a/2005/06/26/BAGTQDF4S01.DTL&o=0
http://www.suntimes.com/output/foster/cst-nws-stella28.html
>From STELLA FOSTER Chicago SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST:
Hey, I saw the guy hanging out at a party in New York not long after
they wed, and I found myself thinking, "I think Ms. Terry made her move
too soon ... she must be in denial." He looked like he was operating on
a different agenda!
eartha...@yahoo.com
SoCally wrote:
> The only clitch he might get away with is that he was from a foreign
> country and didn't understand what he signed. But other than that, the
> whole gay thing pretty much assures that the prenup will stand up in
> court. He might get some small about under 100K, which isn't much for a
> millionaire to part with.
>From BET:
But, McMillan alleges, Plummer came clean about his affair only after
she confronted her husband about records of long phone conversations to
a male friend in Jamaica. She says too that she owes him nothing,
because she gave him $150,000 shortly after he arrived from Jamaica.
Tina
Leet...@hotmail.comeonoverbaby wrote:
> Tina wrote:
> > nina wrote:
> > > Dustbunny wrote:
> > > > from the SF Chronicle:
> > > >
> > > > In a tale rich in lost love, closeted secrets and acrimonious divorce, it
> > > > turns out that famed local writer Terry McMillan -- whose celebrated romance
> > > > and subsequent marriage to a man 23 years her junior became the subject of
> > > > her fictionized best-seller "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" --
> > > > actually got her groove back with a man who now says he's gay.
> > > >
> > >
> > > he looked gay
> >
> > Is there a photo of him somewhere? I'd like to take a look too....
>
> He sure did look gay. I wonder how she couldn't have known? I was a
> wee lass when they got married and when I saw him I thought, "He looks
> fruity!"
>
> http://www.randomhouse.com/features/elynnharris/art/mcmillan.jpg
Yeah.....totally gay. Not a very hot gay man IMO either.
Bubbles
> divorce, it turns out that famed local writer Terry McMillan
http://www.randomhouse.com/features/elynnharris/art/mcmillan.jpg
Don't understand why the attractive, talented, rich and famous McMillan felt
she had to import a man from another country. Are there no gay men in San
Francisco?
Bubbles
---
"A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of
inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable
lobster. A Coast Guard spokesman commented, "This
sort of thing is all too common". (The London Times)
Tina
eartha...@yahoo.com wrote:
> Raqui wrote:
> > >>
> > >> Is there a photo of him somewhere? I'd like to take a look too....
> > >
> > > He sure did look gay. I wonder how she couldn't have known? I was a
> > > wee lass when they got married and when I saw him I thought, "He looks
> > > fruity!"
> > >
> > > http://www.randomhouse.com/features/elynnharris/art/mcmillan.jpg
> >
> > He kind of looks like the guy Star Jones married. I wonder if the two guys
> > are related?
>
> He sure doesn't look like Taye Diggs.
>
NO KIDDING! Taye Diggs was/is HOT....this guy is not. I love whoever
said he looked like he was retarded or a fetal alcohol syndrome baby. I
know that's mean but he's a con artist so he deserves the criticism.
Ready Freddy
I read the divorce papers on smoking gun and there is something very
weird going on with terri. I am baffled by this whole story realizing
now that he was only 20 when they met and she was 40+. Demi and Ashton
make sense because they are both adults, both famous, both have their
own money. This guy was a naive child. he had no sophistication
whatsoever. she had total control over his life and he was basically
her puppy dog. and when they married she said she knew it wouldn't
last. why did they marry in the first place? and she is a woman of
experience. everyone who has seen him says he looks gay. she must have
thought that too at some point. there must have been signs other than
just his weird poofy looks that she chose not to read.
and he says that when he tried to talk to her about his sexuality, she
didn't want to hear it. it wasn't until he came right out and told her
he was gay that she threw him out.
she has a grown son. i wonder if she was ever married and what happened
with that guy.