Russian Marriage and relationships - what else? - Hands on PMS advice!!
Panikovsky
>
> Hello there,
>
> My name is Jon, and I made the decision to join an introduction service called
> Russian American Matchmakers about a year ago. I am about to fly to Moscow in
> Dec. to meet two women. However, I keep reading articles discussing the vast
Hello Jon!
At the outset i feel as i though i should comment on your shrewdness.
and
patience. that too. but mostly shrewdness for waiting a year for the
dollar
to triple in value. color this old man impressed! have you heard this
most
recent joke:
Q: What is the difference between a rouble and a dollar?
A: About a dollar.
But back to your predicament: December in Moscow is a magic time of
year:
the ruby stars of kremlin are graced with early morning frost, the
cobblestone
between GUM and Lenin's Tomb glistens with virgin ice. Romantic? You bet
your ass it's romantic!
My advice: WATCH YOUR STEP!!
It's slippery!
But can a couple of broken femurs detract from the beauty of a russian
winter?
can they blemish the sight of Zhukov on his mighty steed? Or the
Tretyakov Gallery
with its myriads of corridors? As if all that weren't enough, this is
the
time of year anti-fur protesters fly in from the States to strip in
protest.
Jon, i ask you - what could be BETTER?
Your sense of timing is surely impeckerable!
> problems in such relationships, especially sex and communication. I ordered a
Sex pretty much works the same way, but the lesbians ARE harder to find
over there.
That much we know FOR SURE. Trust Panikovsky on the lesbians. No,
really. Leave
the lesbians to Panikovsky. They will be safe.
Communication is a bit tricker with longer words and all. Adding -ski
onto the
english version only carries you so far as i found out the HARD way.
Vodski my
ass! It's STILL vodka over there! Can you believe that? I know what you
are saying -
get the hell out! No, no, i MEAN it. Vodka IS Vodka. what are the odds
of THAT?
Interpreting charges add up fast and a lot good do they do you in the
bedroom! Am
i right or am i right? i am right. i am. in the bedroom interpreters
only get in the
way unless you have a king size bed. which brings us to pleasantville. i
ask you,
could hollywood butcher a movie any WORSE? i think not! and it started
off so good.
so much promise and stamina. damn...this is depressing me almost to the
point
of stopping this note. no, just kidding! i mean i am NOT kidding about
pleasantville -
My advice: see the film and walk out half way -
you will be doing yourself a favor!!!
> book called "Wedded Strangers: The challenges of Russian-American Marriages",
> which does not have promising stories in these areas. (It basically shares
> stories recounting Russian men as opressed and insenstive and Russian women as
> sexually repressed and unwilling to discuss it or intimacy.) As I won't have
That is just plain frightening!! How could ANYONE write a treaties on
the subject
WITHOUT consulting its foremoist authority?
My advice: DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK!
The money you save could be better used to purchase extravagant gifts
for panikovsky
as far as the sensitivity of the russian men is concerned - we are all
equipped with
the same set of nipples as our american counterparts, and don't let
anyone tell you
otherwise! do you want sworn testimonials about the sensitivity of
russian men?
take panikovsky with you and you will hear nothing but the cries of
delight. well,
cries anyway.
which leaves us with that intimacy with women thing.
> intimate relations until I am engaged/married, I am very much afraid of what
> may happen.
with every damn good reason, jon! it may lead to, god forbid, smoking!
> Are things this bad? Have you heard of this book? I would very much like to
> talk to couples and get their insights, if there are email links that exist
> for this. Can you help me?
jon, i can do better than that. it so happens that panikovsky needs to
travel to
russia and ukraine this winter. but his wall street watchdogs have
reduced all
international business travel to, get this, - COACH! is there a more
reprehensible
word in the english laguage? i think not! no, there damn well isn't!!!!
panikovsky
WILL NOT FLY COACH! his ass is too old for a bumpy ride with the
commoners and
screaming children.
My advice: Purchase panikovsky what is due to him - FIRST CLASS
ACCOMODATIONS
The money should not matter when it is your lifelong happiness we are
worried about.
Just picture it, you and PMS in Moscow; what could be more romantic than
an
evening promenade from Radisson Slavyanstaya over to the slick
cobblestones of
Kremlin to shop for women? NADA! No hay nada mas romantico de eso,
amigo.
Jon,
this is no time to be cheap! It may sent you back a few grand, but when
was the last time ten grand bought you happiness? Panikovsky guarantees
you happiness, at the very least his own. Ten grand. As always, post
your
visa number and the expiration date to these newsgroups.
> Thank you very much.
> My email is merc...@aol.com
You are entirely welcome!
-- PMS (Americas' Leading Authority on Russian Women)
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/6615/dating.html - your
comprehensive guide on dating and buying Russian women
(last updated 5/24/97 with a supplemental guide on loving
ex-military officers)
Oh, btw,
PMS: i just want to point out what may already be obvious:
ten thousand dollars DOES NOT buy you sex with panikovsky. thank you.