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The Day I Came Out Of The Closet (My Coming Out Story)
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Late Comer
Feb 10, 2018, 7:37:31 AM2/10/18
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Since this is a group dedicated to coming out of the closet and telling friends and loved ones that you're Gay, I thought I'd share my coming out story.
Quite often, as my lover (that's how I always referred to my boyfriend, and had since we stated our relationship together in 1994) and I were lying in bed, enjoying an intimate moment after a hot sexual encounter, both of us would reflect on our wonderful time together. As we laid there being very intimate with each other, David sometimes started to giggle. He would say that, for a brief moment he thought about the evening he came out to his family that he was Gay. David had come out about being Gay when he was 19 in 1982, when being Gay was just at the beginning of becoming socially acceptable. Besides that, he was also in College, and the halls of higher education are much more tolerant and liberal minded, so someone being Gay was no big deal. But what made him giggle most was remembering the day I came out, as he was a part of "the big surprize". With me, I came out much later, but, I did come out not long after I had my true self revealed to me. And I didn't discover my true self until a beautiful, warm Saturday. April 30th, 1994 to be exact! As a teenager, I had wondered if I was Gay, but, I fought the urge to pursue my feelings, choosing instead to repress my true feelings. And did I ever regret that! Especially after being in a failed marriage to a woman who turned out to be the bitch from hell! She was divorced with a kid. I should never had got involved, but I did. It was set up by a co-worker, and even though I knew it was wrong, I made it worse by giving in to "social pressure" and marrying her. Trouble was, I never felt fulfilled by that relationship. It didn't help when, after some 10-years of marriage, she started to cheat on me.
Then came April 30th, 1994, the day a chance encounter with a wonderful younger guy opened my eyes! By the way, that "chance encounter" lasted over 23-years!
In a way, it could be looked at, that, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. The chance encounter that changed my life, and for the better. Only thing was that, for the first two-and-a--half months, I spent a lot of time at David's apartment. Our relationship started off hot and only got hotter. I managed to keep my "affair" from my wife, which was easy, as I think over that period, we saw each other for maybe 30-minutes on any given day, if that. Then came the second week in July, of 1994. My then wife took a weeks vacation and took our car, her son, and her son's girlfriend and went to her parent's cottage for the week. She left that Saturday morning early. What I didn't know was that she was picking up her boyfriend on the way! And what she didn't know was that I also booked that week off. Having her out of the house gave me time to think about my own future, and that future didn't include her. It did include David! At around noon, David showed up with a duffle bag, and he stayed with me. Too, David's friends Michael and Peter came up. It was such a special week for me. One of the things we did was that we came up with a plan for me to buy out my wife's half of the house. We hadn't paid much of the mortgage, so her half wasn't all that much. Then, David would move in. Michael and Peter offered to move in too, which would have helped me pay for the house. Since Michael worked for a bank, he arranged for me to get the financing so I could buy out my wife. We sat and worked out a lot of details, such as who would pay for what. These guys were really behind me! All I had to do was to wait for my wife to return, then break the news to her!
Trouble was, instead of returning home on the Saturday, she didn't return home until late in the evening on Sunday, and since it was late, and I didn't see much of her all that week, I had to wait until the next Sunday, July 23rd for our "talk".
When the 23rd finally came, I made arrangements for her to be at home even if it was to be for only a few minutes. David was at the house with me, and our timing became critical. She had gone out early, like before 6:00 that morning, to be with her boyfriend, and she did not come home until around 2:00 in the afternoon. When she finally got home, David went out the back door and went around to the front and waited. As David waited in the driveway, my wife walked into the family room and sat down. "So what's so f**king important that you had to ruin my Saturday", she asked. My wife had become very abrupt with her language! I sat down with her and said that, "I have something to tell you, and you aren't going to like it". I was quick and to the point. I told her that I was having an affair. She exploded! Funny, isn't it. I confessed my affair, which started some three months after she started hers! Anyway, it got a little nasty for a few minutes when David knocked on the door. "Oh", I said, "They're here!" I didn't say "she" or "he". I said "They"! I remember her saying that I had a lot of nerve to bring "that person" into our house. I went to the door and let David in. I took his hand, and we walked down the hall to the family room, and the two of us entered the room together. "This is David", I said, "the person I have been seeing since the end of April." I have never seen such a shocked look on anyone's face like my wife had! She just sat there. She was speechless! Then she started to yell at me. "Another guy?", she yelled, "You've been f**king around with another guy?" All I could say was, "What can I say? It just happened that I fell in love with a him!" She didn't say anything. In fact, she left! I didn't see her until the next day.
When she finally came back home, I sat down with her. By then, she had calmed down considerably. We talked for maybe five-minutes, if that, and I made my proposal. She agreed to end our marriage, not that it was anything anyway. And she agreed to me buying out her part of the house. After we talked, she left. I didn't see her for a week! in fact, I only saw her for maybe 5-minutes at any given time when she started to move her stuff out. In the meantime, David stayed with me. That week too, Michael finalized the financing so I could take over the house on my own. All the paperwork was in place, and everything was signed off on August 31st if that year. My now ex-wife was completely moved out by September 2nd, the Friday of the labour Day weekend. Her son moved out at the same time and got an apartment with his girlfriend. That evening, David moved in. On the Sunday, Michael and Peter moved in and rented one of the bedrooms out, if for no other reason, it helped out with my financial situation. It was great, right from the start. Too, and this really didn't surprize me, I had got to know my two next door neighbours, two nice guys, and boy could the one guy cook! I had met them back just after my ex and I moved into our house. Turned out, they were a Gay couple! And finding out I was Gay was great to them! Anyway, as time went on, my relationship with David only grew hotter. And the sex has never been dull!
Too, where we live, same-sex marriages have only been recognized since 2005. However, back in 2000, on a warm July afternoon, David and I gathered with his family, my one cousin and her husband, and 20 of our Gay friends. We were at a restaurant on the lake front and we all stood on the deck overlooking the lake. There was a Justice of the Peace there too! David and I stood there, with Peter and Michael as our witnesses. We spoke our vows of love to each other, and since Gay marriages weren't totally legal yet, we were only "symbolically" married, although we did have a recognized marriage licence.
In 2005, things changed slightly. In 2002, Peter's mother passed away, and in March of 2005, his father passed away. Peter inherited his parent's home. In May of that year, he and Michael moved out. It wasn't all that bad though! Where Peter's parents lived was in an older section of town. The houses were fairly large, and are close to where David and I met. It's also an area that around the time we all moved into the area, it had become known for attracting a significant Gay population, although things have changed here in the last couple of years, and not for the better! It was not uncommon to see two people of the same sex walking down the street holding hands! You could even see two people of the same sex kissing each other! In public! In 2007, the house just two doors down the street that was very similar to Peter's came up for sale. Both Peter and Michael encouraged us, and we jumped at it! It worked out great! We saw them all the time, as they were, and still are, a very important part of our lives, as they were more to David and I than just friends.
There was a serious change in our relationship last year that has devastated me. Back at the end of April of last year (2017), around about the date of our 23rd anniversary, David was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer. He didn't suffer long, as he succumbed on July 1st, 2017 at the age of 56-years. It still hurts!
Just an hour before David took his final breath, he started to laugh. He was thinking about that afternoon when I came out to my soon-to-be-ex-wife that I was having an affair with another guy. Neither one of us ever forgot that look on her face when I brought David into the room and introduced him to her. It truly was one of those priceless "I wish I had of had a camera" moments! Too, the last time I ever saw my ex, was that day she picked up the last of her belongings. I haven't seen her since that day, and I don't miss her! Our divorce was cut-and-dried, and it was all finalized within a couple of weeks. Within three weeks of the finalization of our divorce, she remarried, to the guy she was cheating with. However, that didn't last. The guy was a real estate salesman, and when the market slowed own, so did his income. She was divorced within three years. Add to that, she has been married and divorced at least three more times since then.
And here is the real kicker, I was with David the whole time, right up until he lost his battle with oesophageal cancer!
Quite often, as my lover (that's how I always referred to my boyfriend, and had since we stated our relationship together in 1994) and I were lying in bed, enjoying an intimate moment after a hot sexual encounter, both of us would reflect on our wonderful time together. As we laid there being very intimate with each other, David sometimes started to giggle. He would say that, for a brief moment he thought about the evening he came out to his family that he was Gay. David had come out about being Gay when he was 19 in 1982, when being Gay was just at the beginning of becoming socially acceptable. Besides that, he was also in College, and the halls of higher education are much more tolerant and liberal minded, so someone being Gay was no big deal. But what made him giggle most was remembering the day I came out, as he was a part of "the big surprize". With me, I came out much later, but, I did come out not long after I had my true self revealed to me. And I didn't discover my true self until a beautiful, warm Saturday. April 30th, 1994 to be exact! As a teenager, I had wondered if I was Gay, but, I fought the urge to pursue my feelings, choosing instead to repress my true feelings. And did I ever regret that! Especially after being in a failed marriage to a woman who turned out to be the bitch from hell! She was divorced with a kid. I should never had got involved, but I did. It was set up by a co-worker, and even though I knew it was wrong, I made it worse by giving in to "social pressure" and marrying her. Trouble was, I never felt fulfilled by that relationship. It didn't help when, after some 10-years of marriage, she started to cheat on me.
Then came April 30th, 1994, the day a chance encounter with a wonderful younger guy opened my eyes! By the way, that "chance encounter" lasted over 23-years!
In a way, it could be looked at, that, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. The chance encounter that changed my life, and for the better. Only thing was that, for the first two-and-a--half months, I spent a lot of time at David's apartment. Our relationship started off hot and only got hotter. I managed to keep my "affair" from my wife, which was easy, as I think over that period, we saw each other for maybe 30-minutes on any given day, if that. Then came the second week in July, of 1994. My then wife took a weeks vacation and took our car, her son, and her son's girlfriend and went to her parent's cottage for the week. She left that Saturday morning early. What I didn't know was that she was picking up her boyfriend on the way! And what she didn't know was that I also booked that week off. Having her out of the house gave me time to think about my own future, and that future didn't include her. It did include David! At around noon, David showed up with a duffle bag, and he stayed with me. Too, David's friends Michael and Peter came up. It was such a special week for me. One of the things we did was that we came up with a plan for me to buy out my wife's half of the house. We hadn't paid much of the mortgage, so her half wasn't all that much. Then, David would move in. Michael and Peter offered to move in too, which would have helped me pay for the house. Since Michael worked for a bank, he arranged for me to get the financing so I could buy out my wife. We sat and worked out a lot of details, such as who would pay for what. These guys were really behind me! All I had to do was to wait for my wife to return, then break the news to her!
Trouble was, instead of returning home on the Saturday, she didn't return home until late in the evening on Sunday, and since it was late, and I didn't see much of her all that week, I had to wait until the next Sunday, July 23rd for our "talk".
When the 23rd finally came, I made arrangements for her to be at home even if it was to be for only a few minutes. David was at the house with me, and our timing became critical. She had gone out early, like before 6:00 that morning, to be with her boyfriend, and she did not come home until around 2:00 in the afternoon. When she finally got home, David went out the back door and went around to the front and waited. As David waited in the driveway, my wife walked into the family room and sat down. "So what's so f**king important that you had to ruin my Saturday", she asked. My wife had become very abrupt with her language! I sat down with her and said that, "I have something to tell you, and you aren't going to like it". I was quick and to the point. I told her that I was having an affair. She exploded! Funny, isn't it. I confessed my affair, which started some three months after she started hers! Anyway, it got a little nasty for a few minutes when David knocked on the door. "Oh", I said, "They're here!" I didn't say "she" or "he". I said "They"! I remember her saying that I had a lot of nerve to bring "that person" into our house. I went to the door and let David in. I took his hand, and we walked down the hall to the family room, and the two of us entered the room together. "This is David", I said, "the person I have been seeing since the end of April." I have never seen such a shocked look on anyone's face like my wife had! She just sat there. She was speechless! Then she started to yell at me. "Another guy?", she yelled, "You've been f**king around with another guy?" All I could say was, "What can I say? It just happened that I fell in love with a him!" She didn't say anything. In fact, she left! I didn't see her until the next day.
When she finally came back home, I sat down with her. By then, she had calmed down considerably. We talked for maybe five-minutes, if that, and I made my proposal. She agreed to end our marriage, not that it was anything anyway. And she agreed to me buying out her part of the house. After we talked, she left. I didn't see her for a week! in fact, I only saw her for maybe 5-minutes at any given time when she started to move her stuff out. In the meantime, David stayed with me. That week too, Michael finalized the financing so I could take over the house on my own. All the paperwork was in place, and everything was signed off on August 31st if that year. My now ex-wife was completely moved out by September 2nd, the Friday of the labour Day weekend. Her son moved out at the same time and got an apartment with his girlfriend. That evening, David moved in. On the Sunday, Michael and Peter moved in and rented one of the bedrooms out, if for no other reason, it helped out with my financial situation. It was great, right from the start. Too, and this really didn't surprize me, I had got to know my two next door neighbours, two nice guys, and boy could the one guy cook! I had met them back just after my ex and I moved into our house. Turned out, they were a Gay couple! And finding out I was Gay was great to them! Anyway, as time went on, my relationship with David only grew hotter. And the sex has never been dull!
Too, where we live, same-sex marriages have only been recognized since 2005. However, back in 2000, on a warm July afternoon, David and I gathered with his family, my one cousin and her husband, and 20 of our Gay friends. We were at a restaurant on the lake front and we all stood on the deck overlooking the lake. There was a Justice of the Peace there too! David and I stood there, with Peter and Michael as our witnesses. We spoke our vows of love to each other, and since Gay marriages weren't totally legal yet, we were only "symbolically" married, although we did have a recognized marriage licence.
In 2005, things changed slightly. In 2002, Peter's mother passed away, and in March of 2005, his father passed away. Peter inherited his parent's home. In May of that year, he and Michael moved out. It wasn't all that bad though! Where Peter's parents lived was in an older section of town. The houses were fairly large, and are close to where David and I met. It's also an area that around the time we all moved into the area, it had become known for attracting a significant Gay population, although things have changed here in the last couple of years, and not for the better! It was not uncommon to see two people of the same sex walking down the street holding hands! You could even see two people of the same sex kissing each other! In public! In 2007, the house just two doors down the street that was very similar to Peter's came up for sale. Both Peter and Michael encouraged us, and we jumped at it! It worked out great! We saw them all the time, as they were, and still are, a very important part of our lives, as they were more to David and I than just friends.
There was a serious change in our relationship last year that has devastated me. Back at the end of April of last year (2017), around about the date of our 23rd anniversary, David was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer. He didn't suffer long, as he succumbed on July 1st, 2017 at the age of 56-years. It still hurts!
Just an hour before David took his final breath, he started to laugh. He was thinking about that afternoon when I came out to my soon-to-be-ex-wife that I was having an affair with another guy. Neither one of us ever forgot that look on her face when I brought David into the room and introduced him to her. It truly was one of those priceless "I wish I had of had a camera" moments! Too, the last time I ever saw my ex, was that day she picked up the last of her belongings. I haven't seen her since that day, and I don't miss her! Our divorce was cut-and-dried, and it was all finalized within a couple of weeks. Within three weeks of the finalization of our divorce, she remarried, to the guy she was cheating with. However, that didn't last. The guy was a real estate salesman, and when the market slowed own, so did his income. She was divorced within three years. Add to that, she has been married and divorced at least three more times since then.
And here is the real kicker, I was with David the whole time, right up until he lost his battle with oesophageal cancer!
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