KFC Combo FAQ v1.0a
David Sirlin
by David Sirlin aka "The Combomaniac" <sir...@alum.mit.edu>
This FAQ is meant to be electronically distributed, but cannot be reproduced
for profitable purposes, or for the purpose of obtaining prizes from a
magazine or contest. It also cannot be reprinted in part or in whole (except
for personal and private use) without consent from the author.
This FAQ is actually the "KFC Questions FAQ," but that sounds dumb so it
will be colloquially referred to as the KFC Combo FAQ. KFC used to stand for
Kentucky Fried Chicken, by the way, until PepsiCo decided that it's bad for
business to have the word "fried" in the name of a restaurant. This FAQ is
compatible with the newly released KFC/Taco Bell restaurants and should work
fine with no modification. The purpose of this FAQ is to guide would-be
patrons through the thick morass of questions that will be asked of them
during even the most routine order. The FAQ will also outline some near
optimum ordering strategies for minimizing questions asked of the person
ordering, and there's a final section on maximizing the number of questions
asked during an order. That's how you get the really big combos, you know.
Oh yeah, this guide contains lots of Street Fighter terminology and will
likely be most useful to members of that community.
====
FAQ
====
1. Who was the Colonel, anyway? What kind of guy was he?
Answer: I don't know.
2. What's the most nutritious thing to order at KFC?
Answer: LOL! You're asking the wrong guy. I think you're also at the wrong
restaurant.
3. How can I maximize the weight of the food I order for a given dollar
amount?
Answer: Very good question! That will be addressed in a separate, future FAQ
on the subject.
4. How can I minimize the number of questions asked of me when I order at
KFC?
Answer: Now you're talking. Let's delve into that...
First of all, make sure you say exactly what you want. Don't just say
"Two pieces and a drink," since you'll give yourself away as a KFC scrub
immediately. You'll be hit by the barrage of "Is that leg and thigh or
breast and wing? Is that original, extra crispy or tender roast? Did you
want the meal or just chicken and bread? Biscuit? Cornbread? What size
drink? What kind of drink?" It's over for you. They'd ask you more, but you
get the picture.
So say exactly what you want. Say "Two piece leg and thigh meal with
baked beans and corn on the cob. Cornbread and a medium Pepsi, that's all,
for here."
Can you spot the flaw in my previous order? I made this same mistake once
back in my training days, so don't be ashamed if you don't see it. If you
order the above, the cashier will most likely sit there and stare at you
until you are done spouting off, at which time you would be asked, "Original
or extra crispy, sir?" That's a tough defeat.
So let's break down the order into pieces. We'll also assume for now that
you want a few normal pieces of chicken rather than chicken strips or a pot
pie or something. First say the number of pieces you want (#), followed by
the kind of pieces (kind), followed by either original, extra crispy or
tender roast (I'll call this "original.")
So far we have "#, kind, original."
Now if you want no side dishes, you would say "chicken and bread"
followed by either "biscuit" or "cornbread." The phrase "chicken and bread"
is stupid and bit confusing, but that's what the KFC employees are trained
to understand. If you want sides, say that you want the meal, then say the
name of the two side dishes you want. Never even attempt to order chicken
and bread with one side dish, because there is no defense against being
asked "Do you want the meal." They'll almost always ask you that.
There are a few advanced tactics needed when it comes to ordering side
dishes. Most of the side dishes are called pretty much what they look like
except two of them. If you order "macaroni" you'll be asked if you want
macaroni and cheese or macaroni salad. If you order potatoes, you'll be
asked if you want mashed potatoes and gravy or the potato wedges. Be careful
on these sides, since they are the most difficult to order.
Now we have "#, kind, original, meal, bread."
The next step is to order a drink. It doesn't come with the meal unless
you order certain value meals. Specify the size and type of drink, unless
the fountain is in front of the counter. In that case, specifying the drink
type is not necessary, but it doesn't hurt.
Finally, you'll have to specify if your order is "for here" or "to go."
Even with all that, though, you still run the risk of other questions. I
once completed the entire combo: "#, kind, original, meal, bread, drink, for
here," and I was then asked, "Do you want honey with that?" I mean, wtf!? Do
I want honey? Sometimes those cashiers will throw in cheap shots like that
to stop you from winning. All you can really do is give a very emphatic "AND
THAT'S ALL" at the end of your order. I later went back to that particular
KFC where I ended my order with "No honey, and that's all." It was a bold
move, but it was required against that particular opponent.
That covers most of the issues you'll have at KFC, since the value combo
meals are pretty much auto-combos. You should be aware of a few more things,
though, to be a true expert. If you order chicken strips, you'll have to say
if you want a meal or not. If you do want a meal, remember to say biscuit or
cornbread. You will also be asked what kind of sauce you want, so be sure
you see that coming and do a reversal answer. Your choices are sweet and
sour, ranch, BBQ, or honey mustard. Don't order the spicy strips, as they
have been discontinued.
Another issue is that you must size up your opponent. If an opponent
looks on the ball, you'll have to speak at a steady, quick pace with a
forceful voice. If the opponent looks slow witted, you'll have to speak
slowly so they will be able to keep up with what you're ordering. Otherwise,
they'll get behind and will ask lots of questions to get back into the game.
Also be aware that any yes/no questions asked of you that require you to
confirm your order or parts of your order do NOT count against you. There's
simply no avoiding these questions from certain cashiers. So if they say
"Three chicken strip meal?" right after you order that, just say yes and
keep going. No lost points.
A final advanced tactic is to order different styles of chicken in one
order, such as a two piece leg and breast, original leg, extra crispy
breast. If you try this, you must specify your order FULLY to have any
chance. Some people order a 3 piece and say "one of each" meaning one
original, one extra crispy and one tender roast. You run the serious risk of
being asked which piece should be cooked which way and an even more serious
risk of them being out of tender roast, which they always are.
That's pretty much it. Here's a sample order:
"I'd like a two piece thigh and leg meal, original recipe, with cornbread
and two sides: baked beans and macaroni and cheese. I'd also like a medium
Pepsi and absolutely nothing else. For here."
That's a strong order.
5. How can I maximize the number of questions asked of me at KFC?
Answer: I'll give the biggest combo I know....
You: I'd like some chicken.
[This question is considered cheap by many and is no allowed in Chicago, but
at a KFC/Taco Bell, it is somewhat feasible since you are saying you don't
want Taco Bell stuff.]
KFC: How many pieces?
You: Two.
KFC: Leg and thigh or breast and wing?
You: Breast and wing.
KFC: Original, extra crispy or tender roast.
You: Tender roast.
KFC: We don't have tender roast. How about original?
You: Ok.
KFC: Did you want the meal?
You: Yes.
KFC: What sides?
You: Potatoes and macaroni.
KFC: Is that potato wedges or mashed potatoes?
You: Mashed.
KFC: Is that macaroni and cheese or macaroni salad?
You: Cheese.
KFC: Biscuit or cornbread.
You: Biscuit.
KFC: Anything else?
You: Chicken strips.
KFC: How many?
You: Three.
KFC: Do you want the meal with that?
You: No.
KFC: What type of sauce?
You: Uh...
KFC: Do you want sweet and sour, honey mustard, ranch or BBQ?
You: sweet and sour.
KFC: Do you want a drink?
You: Yes.
KFC: What size?
You: Medium.
KFC: What kind?
You: Uh...
KFC: We have Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Hawaiian punch, this weird strawberry
stuff--
You: Pepsi.
KFC: Is that all?
You: Yes.
KFC: Would you like honey with that? [Those bastards!]
You: No, that's a dumb question.
KFC: For here or to go?
You: For here.
That's 21 questions! Larger combos are surely possible, though no infinites
have yet been discovered.
Questions or comments? Let me know.
--David
KFC Combo FAQ v1.0a by David Sirlin
All rights reserved.
Mike Z
> That's 21 questions! Larger combos are surely possible, though no infinites
> have yet been discovered.
Well, I found one the other day, quite by accident.
Setup:
[The usual order, leaving out a drink specification.]
KFC: Would you like to purchase a drink with that?
Infinite sequence:
You: No, I only want a cup.
KFC: Only a cup? Why?
You: I'd like some water. **Note**
KFC: <holds finger ready above the "Small Drink" button on register>
So you want to buy a drink, then?
[repeat from beginning of infinite sequence]
Note: This may be considered by some to be a "cheap" tactic, but there
is no such thing as cheap, except when ordering from the Evil Anime Pig
(that is, when he shows up for work). Water is freely availible in
restaurants with fountains, and in places with drink bars can be
obtained by holding a little lever on the side of the soda dispensers.
It is never to be charged for, which is why the infinite works as it
does.
This may just be a bug in the internal code of some particular KFC
employees, however, so if it doesn't work at your location, you probably
have a later version with better AI.
One word of warning - be careful when using this, as other customers
waiting in line to take their turns have been known to get violent if it
goes on for too long....
--
Mike Z--The Zangief Solution:
They jump/duck/punch/kick/Super/special/throw attempt?
Block or Tech Hit, (if applicable,) then SPD/FAB.
They die? Laugh. Then whup the computer.
YeOldeHead
creating such a thing of beauty]
>Questions or comments? Let me know.
Just one:
>If you order chicken strips, you'll have to say
>if you want a meal or not. If you do want a meal, remember to say biscuit or
>cornbread. You will also be asked what kind of sauce you want, so be sure
>you see that coming and do a reversal answer.
The importance of pulling off a reversal answer in this situation is extremely
crucial, and I don't think was stressed quite enough.
I know the timing is hard at first, but if you haven't decided what sauce you'd
like, and fail to reverse, an experienced opponent, after hitting you with his
"And what kind of sauce would you like?" could properly time a "meaty attack"
smacking you back down with a new question just as you recover from his last
one. Any offense you had will be halted while he racks up the hits on his
combo-meter.
-Steve
Infinity
> A final advanced tactic is to order different styles of chicken in one
>order, such as a two piece leg and breast, original leg, extra crispy
>breast. If you try this, you must specify your order FULLY to have any
>chance. Some people order a 3 piece and say "one of each" meaning one
>original, one extra crispy and one tender roast. You run the serious risk
of
>being asked which piece should be cooked which way and an even more serious
>risk of them being out of tender roast, which they always are.
>
This brings to mind a fiendish baiting tactic that a lot of KFC employees
are employing these days. The more experience KFC employee loves to "BAIT"
you. They'll throw out a seemingly harmless move like "Would you like white
meat or dark meat?" You immediately (without thinking) throw out the
almighty "WHITE MEAT!" (it's the meatiest and least sinewy part of the
chicken). Then BLAM they drop a level f'n three "WE DON'T HAVE ANY WHITE
MEAT!" on ya'. I usually just drop my head in shame and walk away :(
I am the rocks of the eternal shore, crash upon me and be broken!!
Infi...@Danc.Com
kayin/ka khiong kwok
Cheers,
Ka.
=== Ever get the feeling... ===
That IVF is women's revenge on mankind for leaving the
toilet seat up all these year? ^_-
Kao Megura
<ka...@mpx.com.au> wrote:
> If this starts a McDonalds vs. KFC war then I'm gonna scream.
>
You know McDonalds has the best fries, right? Plus you can "super size"
your super combo for added damage! It even has an easy mode for beginners
(happy meals, they net you a free toy!) Heheheh....
= Kao Megura =
"I don't like Dan at all. I've come to the conclusion that
I really despise the shotos, even half-assed ones." - Ultima
"There are people that have been called gifted students, based on
tests and other means of evaluating one's talents. How do I know?
I am one." - Onaje Everett
Bathe in Dan's glory at: i.am/kao
Tell me why Dan rules at: kmegura (at) hotmail (dot) com