And the winner is...........

[pin77[AGQx]]

ok, someone get me a tissue to wipe my eyes.

"Flycutter娌AGQx]" wrote:
>
> 1999 DARWIN AWARDS
>
> Excellence in deadly ineptitude at the further transmission of
> Genes.
>
> The long awaited 1999 Darwin "Natural Selection" Awards have been
> released!
>
> These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains of)
> that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the
> most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. Ladies
> And Gentlemen... (drum roll... and envelope please)... We proudly
> present the 1999 "Natural Selection" awards:...
>
> 5th runner-up: Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died
> when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding
> down the slope on a foam pad. 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced
> dead at Central Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m.,
> the Mono County Sheriff's Department said. Hubal and his friends
> apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley and undid some
> yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the
> Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who
> might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the
> ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been
> investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with its pad
> removed.
>
> 4th Runner-up: Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly
> in a St.Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police,
> Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without
> paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics
> removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to
> death.
>
> 3rd Runner-up: Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a
> stag standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly
> when it fell on him.
>
> 2nd Runner-up: "Man loses face at party". A man at a West Virginia
> party (probably related to the man in Arkansas who used the 22 bullet
> to replace the fuse in his pick-up truck) popped a blasting cap into
> his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips,
> teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap
> as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne.
> "Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to
> explode it", said Payne. "It wouldn't go off and this guy said I'll
> show you how to set it off." "He put it into his mouth and bit down.
> It blew all his teeth out and his lips and tongue off", Payne said.
> Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial
> injuries, according to a spokesperson at Charleston Area Medical
> Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing something like
> that," Payne said.
>
> 1st Runner-up: Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon
> man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and
> will be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his
> right eye last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club,
> Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men
> Anonymous) in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A friend tried to shoot a beer can
> off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said
> that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel
> would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon
> Doctor Johnny Delashaw at the University University Hospital in Portland
> said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip
> protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all
> major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull
> the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts
> admitted afterwards he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon.
> Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this". No charges have been filed,
> but the Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation
> stunt is under investigation.
>
> Now this year's winners: (The late) John Pernicky and his friend,
> (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to
> attend a local Metallica concert at the George Washington amphitheater.
> Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought
> it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the
> show. They pulled their pick-up truck over to the fence and the plan
> was for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, who was 100-pounds heavier than Mr.
> Hawkins) to hop the fence and then assist his friend over.
> Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on
> the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found
> himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and
> broken, along with his arm, as it were) by a large branch that snagged
> him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked
> down and saw some bushes below him. (Possibly) figuring the bushes
> would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut
> away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, (did I
> mention that he is THE LATE) Mr. Pernicky crashed into Holly bushes.
> The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the
> protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To
> make matters worse (?!), on landing, his pocketknife penetrated his
> thigh 3 inches. (The late) Mr. Hawkins, on seeing his friend in
> considerable pain and agony, decided to throw him a rope and pull him
> to safety (now he thinks of the "S" word) by tying the rope to the
> pick-up truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken
> haste/state, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the
> fence landing on his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the
> crashed pick-up with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead
> at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck,
> they found John under it, half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly
> stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from
> a tree branch 25-feet in the air.
>
> Congratulations gentlemen, you win...

--
pin77[AGQx]
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[Flycutter娌AGQx]]

[Wizard®]

OUCH!

hehe

"Flycutter®[AGQx]" wrote:

--
Wizard®
ICQ#: 21550487
wiz...@agqx.org
Homepage: http://cheez.plasticjesus.org/
AGQx Page: http://www.agqx.org
"This isn't Hell, but you can see it from here!"

[Assembler Maniac]

What an embarrassing way to go.

However, natural selection does have it's advantages. Lets hope these two
weren't actively breeding.

In article <38769a0a...@news.visi.net>, flyc...@flycutter.org says...
>
>1999 DARWIN AWARDS

>
>fence landing on his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the
>crashed pick-up with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead
>at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck,
>they found John under it, half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly
>stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from
>a tree branch 25-feet in the air.
>
>Congratulations gentlemen, you win...

--
Assembler Maniac

AGQ2 Home page http://www.pchotshots.com/agq2/agq2_home.html

[Frank_Rizzo]

"Assembler Maniac" <Assembl...@bigfoot.com> wrote in message
news:vBAd4.25166$W2.3...@iad-read.news.verio.net...

> What an embarrassing way to go.
>
> However, natural selection does have it's advantages. Lets hope these two
> weren't actively breeding.

They weren't breeding... They were trying to get into a metallica concert...
heh

=)