What RPGamer and Nintendo does not want you to know.
Marcus Yu
it to Badbuddha's page along with RPGamer... I guess RPGamer didn't
deem it appropriate as they never put it up. Oh well, here's what
they don't want you to know!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
everything you didn't want to know about pokémon
(or denied wanting to)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
********************************************************************
01. The Spearows and the Beedrills
********************************************************************
A. Introduction
------------------------------------------------------------------
There comes a time in the life of every Pokémon where they go
through changes. What puberty is to humans, evolution is the same
to Pokémon. However, unlike puberty, there are no educational
sessions taken during your normal gym period where you learn about
evolution. That is what this section is for: to educate you.
B. Example of a Hermaphrodite Pokémon
------------------------------------------------------------------
Of course, with the several different species of Pokémon that
exist, it is only natural that they all have different ways of
reproducing. For example, the Butterfree are actually
hermaphrodites and possess reproductive organs of both sexes.
Therefore, a Butterfree may engage in sexual intercourse with any
other Butterfree.
C. Example of an Asexual Pokémon
------------------------------------------------------------------
It is not as simple for some Pokémon, however. The Bulbasaur
are also another species of Pokémon where there is no male and
female. However, they are asexual, meaning they do not need a
partner to be able to reproduce. Bulbasaur fertilize their own
egg by taking their "vine whips" and inserting them into the
center of the plant bulbs they carry on their back. There is a
small hole at the end of the "vine whip" that ejaculates a
greenish, sticky liquid into the bulb. The sticky liquid has
the exact same genetic structure as a human male's semen. This
means that the Bulbasaur semen contains sperm which fertilizes
the bulb.
After approximately eighteen hours, the bulb on the back of the
Bulbasaur parts. The Bulbasaur is then known as an Ivysaur.
Twenty hours after it evolves, the bulb fully opens to reveal a
baby Bulbasaur. The "mother" is then known as a Venusaur. The
process, unfortunately, did not make it into the game as Nintendo
deemed it "inappropriate for young children".
Anyway, this is how the Bulbasaur reproduces. Because of the
process, a Bulbasaur may only have sex with itself once. However,
some mutated forms of Bulbasaur do exist that have more than one
bulb on their back. These mutants may have sex with itself once
for each bulb it carries.
D. Example of a Normal Pokémon
------------------------------------------------------------------
Nidorans are one of the few Pokémon that have a male and a
female in their species. The way they reproduce is simple enough.
A male and a female get together and the male ejaculates several
sperm cells in hopes of one of them fertilizing the female's egg.
After a couple of months of being pregnant, a baby Nidoran is
born.
E. Example of a Homosexual Pokémon
------------------------------------------------------------------
There are some species that contain both, a male and a female,
but sadly the opposite sexes are not interested in each other.
Most notably is the Charmander. They are mostly interested in
having what is known as anal sex with those of the same gender by
sticking their fiery tails up each other's rear ends.
Fortunately, five percent of the Charmander species turn out to
be heterosexual. Sadly, they are outcasted from the group like
Rudolph from the reindeers. The outcasts then perform sexual
intercourse. The average female Charmander is able to have over
twenty eggs fertilized during sexual intercourse.
********************************************************************
02. Cause and Effect
********************************************************************
A. Introduction
------------------------------------------------------------------
Each species of Pokémon have certain skills that help to
distinguish it from the rest of the Poké Universe. Certain
species have certain powers for a reason. This section will
explain what some of those are.
B. Gloom's Signature Aroma
------------------------------------------------------------------
Gloom, the evolved form of Oddish, is most notably recognized by
the stench it gives off. However, very few people know the real
reason it smells. The reason is, when an Oddish evolves into a
Gloom, several parts of its system remain the same size while the
rest of the body grows bigger. This includes the anus and
digestive systems. Although the Gloom needs more and bigger food
items to satisfy its hunger, its stomach and rear end is unable to
keep up. The Gloom suffers painful constipation and usually is
only able to relieve itself in short spurts by releasing carbon
monoxide. This is where the smell comes from. However, it can
not remain constipated for long and this is why the average
lifespan of a Gloom is six hours after its last meal.
C. Squirtle's Infinite Supply of Water
------------------------------------------------------------------
One of Squirtle's most well-known moves is his Water Gun which
is a powerful move that is valuable even after the Squirtle has
evolved once, maybe even twice. Despite the amount of water this
move uses, it seems as though the Squirtle still has more water
left in its supply.
The reason for this is simple. Like a camel, a Squirtle is able
to store a large amount of water in its body for long periods of
time. It only needs to take in a large amount of water once every
two weeks. However, the Squirtle needs less than one liter of
water in the two-week period, and thus, it is able to shoot the
excess water. It is similar to urinating, only much more
sanitary.
********************************************************************
03. Everything Else
********************************************************************
A. Where to Find This File
------------------------------------------------------------------
Where the Hell did you get it in the first place? And why do
you need to find out where to get this when you already have it?
Sheesh.
B. Information on Future Versions
------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm sort of lazy so, uh, if I ever get off my lazy ass and am
inspired again, I'll do an update on this.
C. This File was Pretty Tame
------------------------------------------------------------------
You are one sick bastard.
D. How to Contact the Author
------------------------------------------------------------------
You can e-mail me at Mar...@bluestar.tierranet.com and you might
be able to find me on IRC on the EFnet server in #pokemon as
MarcusYu. I'm also known to post to the following newsgroups:
- alt.chocobo
- alt.games.final-fantasy
--
Marcus Yu E-Mail: Mar...@bluestar.tierranet.com
http://bluestar.tierranet.com AIM : Marcus Yu
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Creator of alt.chocobo | 0174 Ž Points *
* Informer of the Apocalypse | 0001 Bane Points *
______________________________________________________________________
Marcus Yu
Lt. Surge
im 13 n i know all about the human stuff but c'mon!!!
we learn this stuff in school not on the net
and NO one needed to knoe thayt
>* Creator of alt.chocobo | 0174 ® Points *
>* Informer of the Apocalypse | 0001 Bane Points *
>______________________________________________________________________
Lt. Surge, The Lightning American
lt_s...@bigfoot.com
AOL IM: Lt Surge X
ICQ: 17187535
"Tell your mom we had a good time last night"
"And your dad!.... I mean your sister."
--Doug and Steve, A Night at the Roxbury
"Smell ya!"--Gary, Pokémon
~~~~I have a message for your leader~~~~
:´¯`·. .·´¯`:
'·. •`·. .·´• .·'
`:--·´ `·--:´ ;´`;
`·. ' ' .·´ ; ;
;`·-·´; (¯' '¯)
"GYAOO!"--Articuno, Zapdos and Moltres from the Pokémon game
General Leo
Go put it alt.sex or something
not here
On Fri, 20 Nov 1998 23:33:48 -0500, Mar...@bluestar.tierranet.c-m
(Marcus Yu) wrote:
>* Creator of alt.chocobo | 0174 ® Points *
>* Informer of the Apocalypse | 0001 Bane Points *
>______________________________________________________________________
General Leo
gen...@bigfoot.com
http://gen.leo.pyar.com
ICQ UIN# 5864595
AOLIM: Gen Leo X
"A stranger is a friend you haven't met yet" --Marge from the Simpsons
Meet Mog, he's very hostile.
"I Believe!!!"
:´¯`·. .·´¯`:
'·. •`·. .·´• .·'
`:--·´ `·--:´ ;´`;
`·. ' ' .·´ ; ;
;`·-·´; (¯' '¯)
"It's the COKE truck!"
|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^|| ||\_______
| Coca-Cola || || | __| |''''''''\\____
|___......____________......__|| || |''__| |__|___||__]
''(@)''(@)''''''''''''''(@)(@)''''''(@)''''''''''(@)'' (@)
Poke'grrl
Lt. Surge <lt_s...@bigfoot.com> wrote in article
<3656f34e...@news.oit.umass.edu>...
> ummm thats soooo disgusting...
> im 13 n i know all about the human stuff but c'mon!!!
> we learn this stuff in school not on the net
> and NO one needed to knoe thayt
>
Yeah, I agree.. Jeez, I doubt anyone here cares how Pokémon have sex.
--
Poke'grrl
Pika must run, have battery will travel
Poke'grrl's Poke'world: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Gulf/6972/
Team Pika: http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/teampika
"Pikachu, I choose you!"
To protect the world from devastation.
To unite all Pikas within our nation.
To use the virtues of truth and love.
To help all Poke'mon from the stars above.
Pikachu! Raichu!
Team Pika, blast off at the speed of sound.
You better be good, or turn around!
Goescrunch
><3656f34e...@news.oit.umass.edu>...
>> ummm thats soooo disgusting...
>> im 13 n i know all about the human stuff but c'mon!!!
>> we learn this stuff in school not on the net
>> and NO one needed to knoe thayt
>>
>
>Yeah, I agree.. Jeez, I doubt anyone here cares how Pokémon have sex.
>
I care.... I found it to be very informative and amusing. Kudos to he that
wrote it! It was much fun. Ja ne minna.....
Crunchie ^_^
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~^Propieteress of Smut^~
Hentai no Ojousama to oyoubi!
~trainer to Kainchuu~
I am Super Sailor Psycho
Chick Crunchie, in the name
of the sugarcoated moon you're
Teletubie-dust!
"hehe oil, hehe.."~Hitokiri
For any that cares, my icq# is: 12433801
My Site-It sux, go see!
http://www.fortunecity.com/victorian/portfolio/217/index.html
{ "i'm no 20 breasted freak of nature dammit,
I'm a 2 breasted freak of nature!"~me
"Amen sister! I love those 2 tits of yours! Uh...
that didn't sound right..."~MWF }on icq..
"you sick in de head"~coorlim, cuz I referred to
marshmallow pasta >=D
`~Hey MWF! NNWW!~`
That was one of the most truly disturbing events of my life.
You....
He....
I....
Poor Batman....
*sob* ~G8way, in reference to Batman meets Cid?
Poke'grrl
M.W.F. <screw....@m.com> wrote in article <3657106A...@m.com>...
> Team Shadow does ;) LOL!! Crunchie, where are ya! You should be
> jumping on this!!
> --
<snipped the long weird .sig>
<sigh> Some people... <G> j/k
morbi...@yahoo.com
"M.W.F." <screw....@m.com> wrote:
> Poke'grrl wrote:
> >
> > Yeah, I agree.. Jeez, I doubt anyone here cares how Pokémon have sex.
>
> jumping on this!!
> --
>
> Feel free to visit the AGFFH FAQ at:
> http://www.erols.com/resonakorelano/
> Tips for Pokémon types can be found at:
> http://www.erols.com/resonakorelano/poketips.htm
>
> Official Welcomer of AGFFH
> Loyal servant to the Netscape Lord,
> Eternal master of the cheese flavored bikini (don't ask),
> Possessor of the Kinky Materia (please ask)
> Member of Team Pika
> The Eternal Optimist
>
> Hey Crunchie! WWNN!
> Hey LD! Keep yer hands off my ass!
>
> What's does M.W.F. stand for?
> Man With Flamethrower? Mango Whipped Fruitcake?
> Monkey Weilding Frankfurter? Mortal Wombat Fanatic?
> Meeting Wild Females? Milling Wheat Flour?
> Miracle Whip Fetish? Mooning White Flowers?
> Many Wacky Fancies? Mild Wheat Fajitas?
> Milk Worshipping Freak? Maniac Wishing Fool?
> Memory Waning Fast? Meatloaf Weighing Fraternity?
> Metal Whip Flinger? Massive Wood Flute?
> Morbid Wisconsin Feline? Maniacal Wrestling Federation?
> Measly Waldo Finder? Maggot With Fungus?
> Magikarp Weedle Farfetch'd? Marginally Whipped Fish?
> Many Witches Flee? Masonary Wall Form?
> You decide for yourself ;)
>
> Anyway, here's my 2 cents worth <ching ching>
>
> Everything in this .sig is wrong! Wait, that would mean that this part
> is wrong, so everything would be right, meaning that previous statement
> was right, so everything is... <sound of head imploding>
>
> 'Don't quote me' - someone
>
> "Just grab yer ankles and think of Japan" - derived from Ring Out
>
> Ash: "Hey Pikachu! What's that yellow liquid on the floor?"
> Pikachu: "Pikachu Pi Pi!!" - Elson, AGNP
>
> "That which does not kill you makes you stranger" - from Aeon Flux
>
> "huh? oh. why yes, I'd love to step on the landmines for you." - Ixnorp
> in reference to visiting Hyena's homepage
>
> Should I add anything else to this .sig?
Please leave team shadow out of this. I found the post informative untill I
read the posts about the posters hallucinations. I now don't the truthfullness
of it. If the poster is really a pokemon I hope team rocket gets them. They
deserve each other.
Morbid
founder of team shadow,
member of team pika
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
Goescrunch
>Poke'grrl wrote:
>>
>> Yeah, I agree.. Jeez, I doubt anyone here cares how Pokémon have sex.
>
>Team Shadow does ;) LOL!! Crunchie, where are ya! You should be
>jumping on this!!
>--
>M.W.F.
Ah, but ya see, I have PokéHentai, I already know how they have sex. It was
still much fun and I did like it tho. It belongs on many websites! Message
boards and the like! It should be PUBLISHED!!!!!! =D Really tho, it was
quite entertaining. To whoever wrote it, feel free to go here
http://www3.bravenet.com/forum/show.asp?userid=lk21913 and post it. <--me
message board.... Feel free to goof off there peoples!
Ja ne minna......
Poke'grrl
M.W.F. <screw....@m.com> wrote in article <36581009...@m.com>...
> Hey!! I take offense to that!! Don't <aigh> at me or I'll tell on you
> :D LOL!
>
> Seriosuly, don't mean to be a bother with the .sig. It's just that it's
> grown and I don't want to cut any of it.
>
It's funny.. Besides, I meant that someone cared about the sex post when I
said some people, and j/k means just kidding BTW. (By the way)
Poke'grrl
M.W.F. <screw....@m.com> wrote in article <36584C07...@m.com>...
> I know, I know :D I was goofing.
> --
> M.W.F.
Ohh, my bad!
Marcus Yu
` In article <3657106A...@m.com>,
` "M.W.F." <screw....@m.com> wrote:
` > Poke'grrl wrote:
` > >
` > > Yeah, I agree.. Jeez, I doubt anyone here cares how Pokémon have sex.
` >
` > Team Shadow does ;) LOL!! Crunchie, where are ya! You should be
` > jumping on this!!
` read the posts about the posters hallucinations. I now don't the truthfullness
` of it. If the poster is really a pokemon I hope team rocket gets them. They
` deserve each other.
That is a very cruel thing to say to me. Don't you realize I have
feelings, too?
--
Marcus Yu E-Mail: Mar...@bluestar.tierranet.com
http://bluestar.tierranet.com AIM : Marcus Yu
----------------------------------------------------------------------
* Creator of alt.chocobo | 0174 Ž Points *
Poke'grrl
Marcus Yu <Mar...@bluestar.tierranet.c-m> wrote in article
<MPG.10c228782...@news.erols.com>...
> That is a very cruel thing to say to me. Don't you realize I have
> feelings, too?
> --
> Marcus Yu
I think they were kidding... If not, my bad..
Marcus Yu
`
` Is alright, you good kid! LOL! Reminds me of those cartoons where
` someone is TRYING to get the last word.
` So... who gets the last word in this little battle?
`
Me.
Marcus Yu
` Huh? Look! A Marcus Yu! I don't have one of them yet! Shh...
`
` <sneak sneak sneak>
`
` Yep, there he is... ok... GET'M Pokemon!!
`
` <watches Marcus Yu run away fast>
`
` Dang! No wonder i can't catch one: They always run away!
`
I don't run *that* fast. I'm pretty slow actually.
Miles Prower
(Marcus Yu) reported this urgency directly to me:
*- M.W.F. <screw....@m.com> wrote:
*` Poke'grrl wrote:
*` >
*` > Ohh, my bad!
*`
*` Is alright, you good kid! LOL! Reminds me of those cartoons
where
*` someone is TRYING to get the last word.
*` So... who gets the last word in this little battle?
*`
*
*Me.
*--
*Marcus Yu E-Mail:
Mar...@bluestar.tierranet.com
*http://bluestar.tierranet.com AIM : Marcus Yu
*----------------------------------------------------------------------
** Creator of alt.chocobo | 0174 ® Points
*
** Informer of the Apocalypse | 0001 Bane Points
*
*______________________________________________________________________
Last word on what? What's going on?
-- MP
ICQ 20433411
AIM ChMPrower
http://www.angelfire.com/ia/mprower
From the Dark, to the Light
it's a Super Sonic Flight
gotta keep it going
Goescrunch
>*` Poke'grrl wrote:
>*` >
>*` > Ohh, my bad!
>*`
>*` Is alright, you good kid! LOL! Reminds me of those cartoons
>where
>*` someone is TRYING to get the last word.
>*` So... who gets the last word in this little battle?
>*`
>*
>*Me.
>*--
>*Marcus Yu E-Mail:
>Mar...@bluestar.tierranet.com
>*http://bluestar.tierranet.com AIM : Marcus Yu
>*----------------------------------------------------------------------
>** Creator of alt.chocobo | 0174 ® Points
>*
>** Informer of the Apocalypse | 0001 Bane Points
>*
>*______________________________________________________________________
>
>
>Last word on what? What's going on?
>-- MP
I dunno, but I'm getting curious... Someone care to explain why we're wanting
the last word?
Crunchie ^_^
^^^^
//(^_^)\\
// (0 o)\\
// | | \\
// | | \\
0 0
Miles Prower
reported this urgency directly to me:
*>*- M.W.F. <screw....@m.com> wrote:
*>*` Poke'grrl wrote:
*>*` >
*>*` > Ohh, my bad!
*>*`
*>*` Is alright, you good kid! LOL! Reminds me of those cartoons
*>where
*>*` someone is TRYING to get the last word.
*>*` So... who gets the last word in this little battle?
*>*`
*>*
*>*Me.
*>*--
*>*Marcus Yu E-Mail:
*>Mar...@bluestar.tierranet.com
*>*http://bluestar.tierranet.com AIM : Marcus Yu
*>*----------------------------------------------------------------------
*>** Creator of alt.chocobo | 0174 ® Points
*>*
*>** Informer of the Apocalypse | 0001 Bane Points
*>*
*>*______________________________________________________________________
*>
*>
*>Last word on what? What's going on?
*>-- MP
*
*I dunno, but I'm getting curious... Someone care to explain why
we're wanting
*the last word?
*
*
*Crunchie ^_^
Who knows?
Goescrunch
I sure don't. I wonder if I could find he/she that does....
Miles Prower
reported this urgency directly to me:
*>*>*- M.W.F. <screw....@m.com> wrote:
*>*>*` Poke'grrl wrote:
*>*>*` >
*>*>*` > Ohh, my bad!
*>*>*`
*>*>*` Is alright, you good kid! LOL! Reminds me of those cartoons
*>*>where
*>*>*` someone is TRYING to get the last word.
*>*>*` So... who gets the last word in this little battle?
*>*>*`
*>*>*
*>*>*Me.
*>*>*--
*>*>*Marcus Yu E-Mail:
*>*>Mar...@bluestar.tierranet.com
*>*>*http://bluestar.tierranet.com AIM : Marcus Yu
*>*>*----------------------------------------------------------------------
*>*>** Creator of alt.chocobo | 0174 ® Points
*>*>*
*>*>** Informer of the Apocalypse | 0001 Bane Points
*>*>*
*>*>*______________________________________________________________________
*>*>
*>*>
*>*>Last word on what? What's going on?
*>*>-- MP
*
*I sure don't. I wonder if I could find he/she that does....
*
*
*
It's possible
Goescrunch
Well then I shall keep searching until I find the truth of this mysterious
plot!
Crunchie ^_^
Poke'grrl
Goescrunch <goesc...@aol.comSMUT> wrote in article
<19981128100303...@ng114.aol.com>...
> Well then I shall keep searching until I find the truth of this
mysterious
> plot!
>
> Crunchie ^_^
>
Dah.. What?
M.W.F.
>
> Dah.. What?
Exactly!
--
M.W.F.
Poke'grrl
M.W.F. <screw....@m.com> wrote in article <366063F5...@m.com>...
>
> Exactly!
> --
> M.W.F.
>
Huh? No long sig? Okay,who are you and what did you do with the *real*
M.W.F?