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I have a confession

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Vincent Kelgar Valentine

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Jan 20, 2020, 4:26:40 PM1/20/20
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After 22 years, I need to clear my conscience.

Sigh... Here we go:

I was Newbiejump.

--
#### ######## ######
###################### Vincent Kelgar Valentine. Ex-Turk,
######################## Official AGFF Weaponsmith, Defender
############################ of Relm, Snow Bar owner and cat lover
########****################ Novice Ascii Art plagiarist (kinda')
########****################
## ########################## Co-author of the The New Legend,
## ## $$ ################ Bail?, and Things to do on a Snowy
## $$__################ Night, the coolest Fanfics on Usenet
############################
##**##********######****#### Is my .sig is too long? Then you may
##**########****************## direct complaints to that brick wall
##################**********## over there
## ####33##########**########
## ####333333##33############## "The dumber people think you are, the
## ####========#### ###### more suprised they're going to be
## ########3333## ## when you kill them."
####****######33## ##**## --William Clayton
##****##\\##33## ##**##
##****##\\##\\########****## "Life is short and hard, like a body-
##**########\\\\\\##******## -building elf."
####\\\\\\######\\\\##****## --Nick Wilson
########\\\\\\##\\####**##
############## ## ACE93 Castle residency number: 003

ASCII of FF7s Vincent Valentine(© Square) © VV co.

---Aol Instant Messenger screen name---
************** DBSOTgun ***************
:Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ

%#&@=$*%#&@=$*%#&@=$*%#&@
TWO THOUSAND POSTS TO
ALT.GAMES.FINAL-FANTASY
%#&@=$*%#&@=$*%#&@=$*%#&@
______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______
|||__||| |||__||| |||__||| |||__||| |||__||| |||__||| |||__|||
\/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/
(0250) (0500) (0750) (1000) (1250) (1500) (2000)
\__/ \__/ \__/ \__/ \__/ \__/ \__/
______
¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ |||__|||
ALMOST ONE \/ \/
POST OF THE DAY ( )
¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ \__/

:):):):):):):):):)
BEST CHOPPED .SIG ______|||__|||\/\/(.sig)\__/
BY LINDA AWARD
(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:
_______________________________________
|Awarded The AGFF Vice-janitor Pro-tem's|
| * Golden Mop and Bucket Award! * |
|_______________________________________|

...................
HERE ARE MY AGFF .
POINTS. THE ONLY .
PERPOSE THEY SERVE.
IS THAT YOU ARE .
ABLE TO SAY "I .
HAVE SOME POINTS!".
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
X15 CecilX pointsX.
X 25 Cutie pointsX.
X2 Unright pointsX.
X 25 NightShade X.
X Undead Madness X.
X Points X.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.
...................

\|||||||||||||||||||||||||/
-AGFF GOD OF VANDAL HEARTS- <---Deity Status
/|||||||||||||||||||||||||\

()O()0()0()0()0()0()0()
PROUD TO BE A ACE93-ER.
()0()0()0()0()0()0()0()

"You Know your sig is a legend when it is stolen"
-St. Kain Aron Highwind

Funkidelic

unread,
Jan 21, 2020, 1:15:18 PM1/21/20
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O_o

...........................

After 22 years, I can finally sleep at night. It has been...

...a long...

TWENTY.

TWO.

YEARS.

Thank you.

<sig>

The Funk Soul Brotha

...............
ICQ#: 15253320
ICQ Nickname: Funkidelic
AOL IM: FunkyAGFF
...............

-Dark Sith Lord of the ">"s
-Defender of the ">"s
-One-Time Sufferer of ">" syndrome
-Self-Appointed AGFF God of Movies
-Official Effect Magician of AGFF
-South Park Freak Extrodinaire
-SUPREME defender of Kyle Broslofski
-Defender of Earthbound
-Defender of Reis the Dragoner
-Defender of Elhaym Van Houten
-Defender of Aya Brea (even if she doesn't need it)
-Wielder of African Honey Bees
-Wielder of the Vortex Sword
-Wielder of the Bumpy Penis
-Owner of one bottle of Holy Jizz
-A member of the Portland Carry-Out Coalition
-Anti-Revivalist
-Anti-FFVIIPC

************
* POINTS!! *
************

*Holder of 50 ® points
*Holder of 3.141592654 Darkmere points
*Holder of 20 begger points
*Holder of 20 Kenny points
*Holder of a number of points equal to the square root
of -25
*Holder of some Jappy points
*Holder of six sick bastard points
*Possessor of one of Velius' sheep


______
%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%# |||__|||
ONE THOUSAND POSTS \/ \/
TO ALT.GAMES.FINAL.FANTASY (1000)
%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%# \__/

Quotes

"The cow says 'mooooooooooo!'"
-Mattel's Farm Animal See and Say

"Remember, PBS is free because it sucks!"
-Comedy Central commercial

"That son of a bitch! What kind of sick weirdo is he?"
-Stan Marsh

"Oh my god! They killed Kenny!"
-Stan Marsh

"You bastards!"
-Kyle Broslofski

"...except if they send us to that dreaded Planet of the
Apes. Wait a minute. Statue of Liberty... That was
our planet! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all
to hell!"
-Homer Simpson

"Do you know where we are? We're in Hell's Kitchen!"
-Aya Brea, before blowing the Ultimate Being to hell and beyond.

"People will do anything for gerbil porn"
-Black Mountain

"That would be cool, or at least a digital camera. I'd
take the Relm dogsex pic and put my face in place of
Relm. I'd pose with a constipated look on my face and
post the finished product on 'ere."
-A "normal" Charles Flowers post about how he wishes he
had a printer

"Jesus Fucking Christ! It's colder than a witch's
titty out here!"
-My southern friend Carl Gensterblum commenting on
the Michigan weather

"He He BOOM!"
-Chadgallagher

"Darn! This is off-topic world? And all this time, I
thought I was in line for the Tea Cups ride at Disney
World....."
-Justin Sueno

MastaTroll: what -do- you like then, sexy?
Animeg3282: ::blush:: nice people
MastaTroll: I can be nice ::give flowers to animeg::
Animeg3282: ::blush::
MastaTroll: see?
Animeg3282: ok
MastaTroll: now gimme some lovin'!
-part of an AIM Log between Small Girl and Peanut

.......................................................
The Conjoined Fetus Lady Song

You've got the strength,
You've got the courage,
Even with a dead fetus on your head.
You carried on,
fought for tomorrow,
dead fetus or no ya never let go.
You're my conjoined twin,
dead thing hanging off you're head woman...
........................................................


The Funkidelic Guide to Staying Alive
---------------------------------------
1. Breath. I can't stress this enough, people.
Make sure there is a sufficent oxygen supply where
you are currently residing.

2. Drink. And I'm not talking about alcohol here.
Make sure you get plenty of bodily fluids every day.
Dehydration is bad, umkay?

3. Eat. I now there are a lot of fat people in the
world, but at least they now that food is required to
function properly. Eating is good, but lay of the
fatty foods. That goes double for you, Roger Ebert.

4. Fuck. Yes, even though you're alive, you still need
to further the human race by making wild, passionate,
pleasureable sex as much as and wherever you can. I'm
sure not too many people will complain about this.

5. Avoid Atma. Yes, eventually just talking to Atma
long enough will result in him sticking various swords
up you're ass because you said the wrong thing. Be
warned.

And that's all it takes to stay alive. I did forget to
mention the one in 1,134,987 chance of a meteor falling
on your head at anytime, but that would just make you
paranoid, now wouldn't it. Sleep easy, everyone!

This has been a broadcast of the Bandwidth Wasters...

And don't forget the Bandwidth Wasters motto:
"Why shouldn't we waste bandwidth? Bandwidth is mean to
cute furry animals. Wasting it can only be considered
poetic justice."

Groups that have complained about the length of my .sig:
-------------------------------------------------------
alt.fan.power-rangers
alt.tv.south-park
alt.fan.south-park.kenny.die.die.die

Guess what. This .sig ain't getting any smaller! It is
like a cancer on the UseNet society. It will grow and
all the weak will perish in its wake. Mwa ha ha ha ha!
AGFF will be the sole survivor, because it has harnessed
the power of the .sig, and has brought it to its true
glory...

The best GFSable threads posted to AGFF
--------------------------------------------------------
"My experience with a pussy"
-posted by Neo Atma (really a AIM Log with Nep)

"Parasite Eve after beating it"
-posted by KarriN

--------------------------------------------------------

Dejanews final admits how much it sucks!!
........................................................
"Our Author Profile is a great way to get insight into
an author's Usenet presence and find out what he/she is
interested in. Indexing errors however, though rare, can
occur. Because of this, the forum names/counts may not
always be completely accurate, and as our disclaimer
states, we are not liable for said inaccuracy. You
can always check the actual message numbers by clicking
on each forum link."
(or, in other words, we can't count, and there ain't
nothin' you can do about it)


Time to witness my crappy ASCII art skills!

.

Isn't that the best, yet smallest, nekkid chick you have
ever seen! Hope too many people didn't soil their
drawers over that one!

OK, that's enough...

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

</sig>

Jaywolf and the AGFF ====={E

unread,
Apr 29, 2020, 8:35:50 AM4/29/20
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I really need to bring back Sig Hacking.......

- Jaywolf, Official AGFF Man from Marz
====={E
Look at my wonderful fork! (Not Microwave-Saga related)

Ramen Junkie

unread,
Jan 31, 2021, 5:32:10 PM1/31/21
to
On 1/20/2020 3:26 PM, Vincent Kelgar Valentine wrote:
> After 22 years, I need to clear my conscience.
>
> Sigh... Here we go:
>
> I was Newbiejump.
>

I was and still am Eiknuj Nemar

--
Ramen Junkie

Supreme Dictator For Life AGFF
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