Stupid Things I Hate, Vol. 3

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Billy Callis

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Dec 19, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/19/98
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When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
Overtype mode!! Dammit!!

--
Billy Callis
Around 1700 posts to AGFF
More quotes coming soon.
GFS Block.

"And what costume shall the poor girl wear
To all tomorrow's parties
A hand-me-down dress from who knows where
To all tomorrow's parties
And where shall she go
And what shall she do
When midnight comes around
She'll turn once more to Sunday's clown
And cry behind the door."
--The Velvet Underground, All Tomorrow's Parties

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And i
can picture us
attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." --Jack Handey

"There were people who called themselves Satanists who made Crowley [the
demon] squirm. It wasn't just the things they did, it was the way they
blamed it all on Hell. They'd come up with some stomach-churning idea that
no demon could have thought of in a thousand years, some dark and
mindless unpleasantness that only a fully-functioning human brain could
conceive, then shout "The Devil Made me Do It" and get the sympathy of the
court when the whole point was that the Devil hardly ever made anyone do
anything. He didn't have to. That was what some humans found hard to
understand. Hell wasn't a major reservoir of evil, any more than Heaven,
in Crowley's opinion, was a fountain of goodness; they were just sides
in the great cosmic chess game. Where you found the real McCoy, the real
grace and the real heart-stopping evil, was right inside the human mind.
'Huh,' said Aziraphale [the angel]. 'Satanists.' "
--_Good Omens_, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett

"Because the world is cruel and
Promises are broken
Don't try to tell me
Anything don't try to tell me
You'll be true to me you know the
Real truth is never spoken
And I know the world is cold but
If you hold on tight to what you
Find you might not mind too much though
Even this must pass away and
Memories may last for years but
Names are just for souvenirs
Some kind of angel let me
Look into your eyes
Don't give me whys and wherefores
Reason or surprise
I don't care for words that don't belong
And I don't care what you're called
Tell me later if at all
I can wait a long long time
Before I hear another love song

Come here I think you're beautiful
My door is open wide
Some kind of angel come inside

Come here I think you're beautifulI think you're beautiful beautiful
Some kind of angel come inside..."
--The Sisters of Mercy, "Some Kind of Stranger"

"Sand sensors have detected an abnormal amount of sand."
--Xenogears, Worker gear No.3, Aveh Construction Site #8

LordBrian2

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Dec 19, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/19/98
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Billy Callis wrote:
> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!

I hate it when that happens and I don't notice until it's destroyed most of my
work. That sucks even more!!!


--

The LB-Christmas Style!
God of Sleep
250 Posts to AGFF

Billy Callis

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Dec 19, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/19/98
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LordBrian2 wrote in message <19981219161801...@ng103.aol.com>...

>Billy Callis wrote:
>> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
>>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
>>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!
>
>I hate it when that happens and I don't notice until it's destroyed most of
my
>work. That sucks even more!!!


A-men ta that.

Zohar the Dreamer-Minstrel

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Dec 20, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/20/98
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On Sat, 19 Dec 1998 16:11:45 -0500, "Billy Callis"
<call...@fuse.net> wrote:

> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!

That thing is really useless... I don't know why they invented it.
--

|:***************************:|
|:Titles And General Identity:|
|:***************************:|

Zohar the vegetarian Folc!

ICQ: 12240138
AIM name: Zohar G IL
http://members.xoom.com/ZoharGilboa

Official Dreamer/Minstrel of AGFF
Space Trader
Nightman

Defender of "Hotdog" Cid of FF6, and any other Cid
Defender of tofu
Defender of Sue, the almighty dog

Wielder of the Metallic Arm™
Flies the Golden Condor

Hater of Chrono Trigger

Owner of 5 carrots (from Linda) and a former god of Heh.
Owner of 37 optimistic points
Owher of 15 sick lil' monkey points
Owner of 20,194 ® points
Owner of 1 cthulu point
Owner of 2 DOH! points
Owner of 33 geek points
______
%#@*%#@*%#@*%#@*%#@*%#@*%# |||__|||
FIFTEEN HUNDRED POSTS \/ \/
TO ALT.GAMES.FINAL.FANTASY (1500)
%#@*%#@*%#@*%#@*%#@*%#@*%# \__/

Hi! I'm a .signature virus! Copy me into yours and join the fun!

|:*****************:|
|:Crappy ASCII Logo:|
|:*****************:|
______________ ____________
| \ / \
| ___________ | | ___________\
| / | | | |
|/ / / | |
/ / | |
/ / | |
/ / | |
/ / | |
/ / | |
/ / | |
/ / | | ________
/ / | | | |
/ / | | | ___ |
/ / | | | / | |
/ / | | |/ | |
/ / /| | | | |
| |__________/ | | |_______| |
| | | /
\______________|ohar \___________/ ilboa

I told you it was crappy...

|:*****:|
|:Stuff:|
|:*****:|

>Why do I hate Chrono Trigger so much?

Anyway, I hate CT because it's childish, silly, has a no good childish
storyline and Chrono never talks, therefor he can't have any actual
character.

Sure, the graphics/music are important in an RPG or any other game,
but in an RPG I expect to see a good script, no pretty orange jello
balls that want to destroy the world.

>Why did I write this?

So I don't have to write it every time in my messages replying to
people asking why I hate the game.

|:***********:|
|:AGFF Quotes:|
|:***********:|

"I always figured if any other AGFFer became famous, it would most
likely involve a sniper rifle, a clock tower, and dozens of innocent
bystanders" - Justin

" "What the hell is Final Fantasy VII?"

It's a popular theme for off-topic discussions here, used mostly by
trolls and spammers." -- NightShade.


"I does worry me that the voices in my head are getting therapy from
other voices in my head.." -- Unright

"Not all people who have seen products of beautiful dreams...have
beautiful dreams..." -- Small Girl

"If survEy were a person, it'd be a chartered accountant.
If survAy were a person, it'd be a multicoloured rabbit in a sailor
suit." -- Ash

"Kupo... is a state of mind." -- Michael Goldman

"For the last time, you can't revive the orbs, everyone knows that.
The orbs are *dead*. Deal with it. All these revival stories about
the orbs are annoying the hell out of everybody, so shut up. ;)"
-- SailrMagus

"In any case, all of this goes to show that, if all studies and
learning were a house party, science would be the next door neighbor
who phones the cops, complaining about the noise." -- Sean Daugherty

"I remember my little brother named Rydia...'bitch'... That one
mountain with the wall of ice....rosa says, 'cast the spell of fire
bitch...' " -- GrandTrakr

"I don't know about you, but I sure could go for an eight feet tall,
big breasted Amazon right about now. :-)" -- kwarlord replying to
Technetium saying that most guys like short women

|:************:|
|:Other Quotes:|
|:************:|

"There will always be another headless body, but true love comes only
once in a lifetime" -- Perry White to Lois Lane on Lois and Clark

"There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination... living
there, you'll be free, if you truly wish to be..." -- Willy Wonka

" "What are you doing?"
"Hiding from the puppy-children" " -- The Wally Lama, Animaniacs

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies."

"Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot."

"We've got what it takes to take what you've got!" -- I.R.S

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."

"Honk if you like peace and quiet"

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder..."

"Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship."

"Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery."

"If a deaf person swears in sign language, does his mother wash his
hands with soap?"

"Would a fly without wings be called a walk?"

"Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?"

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"I got a gun for my wife. Best trade I ever made."

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not creaming and
yelling like the passengers in his car."

|:******************************************:|
|:This thing about what kids say about stuff:|
|:******************************************:|

SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." -- Del,age 6

"Shake your hips and hope for the best." -- Camille, age 9

"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get
attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." -- Alonzo,
age 9

"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something
she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." -- Bart, age 9

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF ADULTS EATING DINNER IN A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?

"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if
he is in love." -- Bobby, age 9

"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get
cold...other people care more about their food." -- Bart, age 9

"Romantic adults are usually all dressed up, so if they are just
wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they just broke
up." -- Sarah, age 9

"See if the man has lipstick on his face." -- Sandra, age 7

"It's love if they order one of those desserts that's on fire. They
like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are-- on
fire." -- Christine, age 9

WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY "I LOVE YOU"

"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really love him. But I hope he
showers at least once a day." -- Michelle, age 9

"Some lovers might be real nervous, so they are glad that they
finally got it out and said it and now they can eat." -- Dick, age 7

HOW WAS KISSING INVENTED?

"I know one reason that kissing was created. It makes you feel
warm all over, and they don't always have electric heat or fireplaces
or even stoves in their houses." -- Gina, age 8

HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE

"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work."
-- Dick, age 7

"Don't forget your wife's name..that will mess up the love."
-- Erin, age 8

"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never
take out the trash." -- Dave, age 8

|:******:|
|:Ending:|
|:******:|

The end. Happy now?


Kim Wild

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Dec 20, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/20/98
to
On Sun, 20 Dec 1998 13:08:50 GMT, cyborgs rami...@netvision.net.il
(Zohar the Dreamer-Minstrel) wrote:

>On Sat, 19 Dec 1998 16:11:45 -0500, "Billy Callis"
><call...@fuse.net> wrote:
>
>> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
>>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
>>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!
>
>That thing is really useless... I don't know why they invented it.

Is that the equivalent of the Insert key here which when pressed down,
means you type everything you have just typed? If so I HATE IT TOO!

Kim

LoonBoon[AGQ2]

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Dec 20, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/20/98
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Kim Wild wrote in message <36892f82...@news.dial.pipex.com>...

>On Sun, 20 Dec 1998 13:08:50 GMT, cyborgs rami...@netvision.net.il
>(Zohar the Dreamer-Minstrel) wrote:
>
>>On Sat, 19 Dec 1998 16:11:45 -0500, "Billy Callis"
>><call...@fuse.net> wrote:
>>
>>> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
>>>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
>>>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!
>>
>>That thing is really useless... I don't know why they invented it.
>
>Is that the equivalent of the Insert key here which when pressed down,
>means you type everything you have just typed? If so I HATE IT TOO!


Thank you. I'm really glad to see I'm not alone. Seriously.

--
Billy Callis
Around 1900 posts to AGFF

Emill Szynsky - with mistletoe

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Dec 20, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/20/98
to
In article <75h49e$n5d$1...@remarQ.com>, Billy Callis <call...@fuse.net>
writes

> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!

Yeah, this does annoy me too.

Emill

/***\ /***\
(******v******) Fire Emblem Final Fantasy
\***EMILL***/
\*SZYNSKY*/ <R-chan's_co...@metrassoc.demon.co.uk>
\*******/
\***/"Listen to yourself. Do what you believe in." -Amano
V

Todd Sempel

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Dec 20, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/20/98
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Zohar the Dreamer-Minstrel wrote in message
<367cf31a...@news.netvision.net.il>...

>On Sat, 19 Dec 1998 16:11:45 -0500, "Billy Callis"
><call...@fuse.net> wrote:
>
>> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
>>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
>>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!
>
>That thing is really useless... I don't know why they invented it.

Well, it does come in handy sometimes when one attempts to make ascii
artwork. I still hate it though.

-Todd

Todd Sempel

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Dec 20, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/20/98
to

Billy Callis wrote in message <75h49e$n5d$1...@remarQ.com>...

> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!

YESSSS!!!!! I FUCKING HATE THAT!!!!! IT PISSES ME OFF TO NO
MOTHER-FUCKING-EXTENT!!! I though I was alone on that. Why the hell does
it just switch over like that?

-Todd
http://members.xoom.com/Scrilla


Zohar the Dreamer-Minstrel

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Dec 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/21/98
to
On 20 Dec 1998 21:04:05 GMT, "Todd Sempel" <bad...@worldnet.att.net>
wrote:

>
>Zohar the Dreamer-Minstrel wrote in message
><367cf31a...@news.netvision.net.il>...

>>On Sat, 19 Dec 1998 16:11:45 -0500, "Billy Callis"
>><call...@fuse.net> wrote:
>>
>>> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
>>>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
>>>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!
>>
>>That thing is really useless... I don't know why they invented it.
>

>Well, it does come in handy sometimes when one attempts to make ascii
>artwork. I still hate it though.

When I do ASCII artwork (you know, like the lines around the titles in
my sig :-) ), I don't use that.
--

Zohar the vegetarian Folc!

Hater of Chrono Trigger

|:*****:|
|:Stuff:|
|:*****:|

I hate CT because it's childish, silly, has a no good childish
storyline and Chrono never talks.

Sure, the graphics/music are important in an RPG or any other game,
but in an RPG I expect to see a good script, no pretty orange jello
balls that want to destroy the world.

>Why did I write this?

So I don't have to write it every time in my messages replying to
people asking why I hate the game.

|:***********:|
|:AGFF Quotes:|
|:***********:|

"The best pole in an FF game would have to be Edgar's." -- Dave G

"I always figured if any other AGFFer became famous, it would most
likely involve a sniper rifle, a clock tower, and dozens of innocent

bystanders" -- Justin

Zohar the Dreamer-Minstrel

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Dec 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/21/98
to
On Sun, 20 Dec 1998 18:57:01 GMT, yc...@spam.dial.pipex.com (Kim Wild)
wrote:

>On Sun, 20 Dec 1998 13:08:50 GMT, cyborgs rami...@netvision.net.il
>(Zohar the Dreamer-Minstrel) wrote:
>

>>On Sat, 19 Dec 1998 16:11:45 -0500, "Billy Callis"
>><call...@fuse.net> wrote:
>>
>>> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
>>>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
>>>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!
>>
>>That thing is really useless... I don't know why they invented it.
>

>Is that the equivalent of the Insert key here which when pressed down,
>means you type everything you have just typed? If so I HATE IT TOO!

Yes, the horrible insert key.

*rips out insert key*

computer: You have ripped out a key. Because you have abused your
computer, it does not have the will to live. If you don't push the
insert key, this computer will self destruct in 5... 4...

Zohar: Goodbye world...

3...

2...

1...

BOOM!
--

Zohar the vegetarian Folc!

Hater of Chrono Trigger

|:*****:|
|:Stuff:|
|:*****:|

I hate CT because it's childish, silly, has a no good childish
storyline and Chrono never talks.

Sure, the graphics/music are important in an RPG or any other game,
but in an RPG I expect to see a good script, no pretty orange jello
balls that want to destroy the world.

>Why did I write this?

So I don't have to write it every time in my messages replying to
people asking why I hate the game.

|:***********:|
|:AGFF Quotes:|
|:***********:|

"The best pole in an FF game would have to be Edgar's." -- Dave G

"I always figured if any other AGFFer became famous, it would most

likely involve a sniper rifle, a clock tower, and dozens of innocent

bystanders" -- Justin

DeepT

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Dec 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/21/98
to
After being knocked down by an unaturally swift Sperm whale, Zohar the
Dreamer-Minstrel had to say:

> On Sun, 20 Dec 1998 18:57:01 GMT, yc...@spam.dial.pipex.com (Kim Wild)
> wrote:
>
> >On Sun, 20 Dec 1998 13:08:50 GMT, cyborgs rami...@netvision.net.il
> >(Zohar the Dreamer-Minstrel) wrote:
> >
> >>On Sat, 19 Dec 1998 16:11:45 -0500, "Billy Callis"
> >><call...@fuse.net> wrote:
> >>
> >>> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
> >>>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
> >>>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!
> >>
> >>That thing is really useless... I don't know why they invented it.
> >
> >Is that the equivalent of the Insert key here which when pressed down,
> >means you type everything you have just typed? If so I HATE IT TOO!
>
> Yes, the horrible insert key.
>
> *rips out insert key*
>
> computer: You have ripped out a key. Because you have abused your
> computer, it does not have the will to live. If you don't push the
> insert key, this computer will self destruct in 5... 4...
>
> Zohar: Goodbye world...
>
> 3...
>
> 2...
>
> 1...
>
> BOOM!

Another bug of Win98?
--
****************************************************

-DeepT (ICQ:12366495)

****************************************************

Billy Callis

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Dec 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/21/98
to

Todd Sempel wrote in message <75joqm$i...@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>...

>
>Billy Callis wrote in message <75h49e$n5d$1...@remarQ.com>...
>> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
>>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
>>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!
>
>YESSSS!!!!! I FUCKING HATE THAT!!!!! IT PISSES ME OFF TO NO
>MOTHER-FUCKING-EXTENT!!! I though I was alone on that. Why the hell does
>it just switch over like that?


I don't know, son. I just don't know.

Todd Sempel

unread,
Dec 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/21/98
to

Zohar the Dreamer-Minstrel wrote in message
<367e3ccf...@news.netvision.net.il>...

>On 20 Dec 1998 21:04:05 GMT, "Todd Sempel" <bad...@worldnet.att.net>
>wrote:
>
>>
>>Zohar the Dreamer-Minstrel wrote in message
>><367cf31a...@news.netvision.net.il>...
>>>On Sat, 19 Dec 1998 16:11:45 -0500, "Billy Callis"
>>><call...@fuse.net> wrote:
>>>
>>>> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing,
and,
>>>>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
>>>>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!
>>>
>>>That thing is really useless... I don't know why they invented it.
>>
>>Well, it does come in handy sometimes when one attempts to make ascii
>>artwork. I still hate it though.
>
>When I do ASCII artwork (you know, like the lines around the titles in
>my sig :-) ), I don't use that.

Yeah, you don't have to. But if I'm making a really big picture, like full
screen, I prefer to use a combination of overtyping and normal typing.
Switching off. It takes getting used to, but it helps. It's like how the
people that play Quake with the keyboard and mouse are usually better off.
Okay, this is going nowhere.

-Todd

Phoenix Gamma

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Dec 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/22/98
to
On Sat, 19 Dec 1998 16:11:45 -0500, "Billy Callis"
<call...@fuse.net> wrote:

# When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing,
and,
#without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
#Overtype mode!! Dammit!!
#
#

I hate that too.


-me

"Who knows what black and crazy thoughts swim inside a girlfriend's heart?"

Replies to sup...@usa.net - remove the "noway" spam block.

Icy Q#: 13246560 - Drop on by, baby...

Phoenix Gamma

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Dec 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/22/98
to
On Mon, 21 Dec 1998 13:28:20 -0500, "Billy Callis"
<call...@fuse.net> wrote:


#>YESSSS!!!!! I FUCKING HATE THAT!!!!! IT PISSES ME OFF TO NO
#>MOTHER-FUCKING-EXTENT!!! I though I was alone on that. Why the
hell does
#>it just switch over like that?
#
#
# I don't know, son. I just don't know.
#

It happens when you go to hit Backspace and your finger fumbles over
the Insert key (which is next door to it). It's the user's fault that
it happens, but it's still annoying - and its the fault of the people
who developed the package you're using that the damn thing was
implemented in the first place.

Gates, I hope you're listening! This is why we hate you!!

The drunken half-eaten corpse®

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Dec 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/22/98
to
Phoenix Gamma wrote in message <367f9ac1...@news.intra.bt.com>...
:On Mon, 21 Dec 1998 13:28:20 -0500, "Billy Callis"

:<call...@fuse.net> wrote:
:#>YESSSS!!!!! I FUCKING HATE THAT!!!!! IT PISSES ME OFF TO NO
:#>MOTHER-FUCKING-EXTENT!!! I though I was alone on that. Why the
:hell does
:#>it just switch over like that?
:#
:#
:# I don't know, son. I just don't know.
:#
:It happens when you go to hit Backspace and your finger fumbles over
:the Insert key (which is next door to it). It's the user's fault that
:it happens, but it's still annoying - and its the fault of the people
:who developed the package you're using that the damn thing was
:implemented in the first place.


I always wind up hitting the, " \ " key. It pisses me off cause then I got to delete more stuff.

icecycle@dissbeingoneofthosenightswheniamreallybored

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Dec 23, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/23/98
to
In article <19981223195157...@ng146.aol.com>,
cron...@aol.commicrosft says...

>
>>!
>>
>>Yes, the horrible insert key.
>>
>>*rips out insert key*
>>
>>computer: You have ripped out a key. Because you have abused your
>>computer, it does not have the will to live. If you don't push the
>>insert key, this computer will self destruct in 5... 4...
>>
>>Zohar: Goodbye world...
>>
>>3...
>>
>>2...
>>
>>1...
>>
>>BOOM!
>
>The little key that brings up the "Start Menu" on the Win 95 keyboards are
>worse. I always hit them while trying to play DOOM and other DOS games, and it
>messes up the control when I click back into the game. I pulled it off of one
>keyboard, but the keyboard eventually broke and I can't remove the key on my
>new one.
>
>This has been a pointless rant.
>
One upon a time, in dos 6.22, (although to tell the truth, at work, I use dos 5,
so this may be a legend.) there existed a thing called a _key board_ re-mapper_.

I only mention this because, _IT WOULD TOTALLY PISS ME OFF_ to be playing DOOM
and hit that damn windows key.

My problem when I play DOOM, is that I have this nifty 120+ key masterpeice by
FOCUS, and I keep hitting the turbo key instead of one of the 8 arrow keys.

You could allways cheat and drop to dos.

John F Stepp

***Tired of voting for the lesser of two evils? Write me in, next election***
* John Deleted Stepp for Prez - J. Raoul Xemblinosky III for vice *
* (A UPA in every Post, and, I could afford 'da good stuff') *
* And we _will_ not go to war with Iceland *
******************icecycle*@*newsguy.com**mhm 20x7****************************

CronoDAS

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Dec 24, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/24/98
to
>!
>
>Yes, the horrible insert key.
>
>*rips out insert key*
>
>computer: You have ripped out a key. Because you have abused your
>computer, it does not have the will to live. If you don't push the
>insert key, this computer will self destruct in 5... 4...
>
>Zohar: Goodbye world...
>
>3...
>
>2...
>
>1...
>
>BOOM!

The little key that brings up the "Start Menu" on the Win 95 keyboards are


worse. I always hit them while trying to play DOOM and other DOS games, and it
messes up the control when I click back into the game. I pulled it off of one
keyboard, but the keyboard eventually broke and I can't remove the key on my
new one.

This has been a pointless rant.

- Doug, He who does not drink Caffeine and hates Chocolate

I am:

A Nerd who says Ni (Yes, I really do say "Ni!")
A Hater of Barney the Dinosaur
A Final Fantasy Fanatic (even though FF7 was terrible)
A Magic: The Gathering Player
A Science Fiction and Fantasy Reader
A Cat Lover
A Confirmed Weirdo
A Defender of Secret of Evermore
A Wielder of Evil College Professor Summon Materia
A Proud Owner of a Huge-Ass .Sig
A Person With No Life (And Proud Of It!)
_____________________________________________________________________
I HEREBY CONDEMM THEE TO READ MY .SIG!

"Great .sig!" - jruudatniagara "
[Your .sig]... is a masterpiece!" - Linda
"hey... i read your signature and it was cool :)" - pilot
"Ha! My `I like the .sig!` section is bigger than yours!" - Bob

This is the .sig that doesn't end
It just goes on and on my friend
Some people started reading it not knowing what it was
And they'll continue reading it forever just because
This is the .sig that doesn't end...
(Repeat until bored.)
_____________________________________________________________________
Books I really like (The "Wow!" books):
*=part of a series and cannot be read by itself
**=part of a series that contains a book I didn't like

Title | Author
________________________|____________________________________________
Wizard's First Rule | Terry Goodkind
|
Stone of Tears* | Terry Goodkind
|
The Three Musketeers | Alexandre Dumas (Translator unknown)
|
The Original Hitchhiker |
Radio Scripts | Douglas Adams
|
A Spell For Chameleon | Piers Anthony
|
Child of Thunder* | Mickey Zucker Reichert
|
The Elfstones of |
Shannara | Terry Brooks
|
To Kill a Mockingbird | Harper Lee
|
The Seventh Gate* | Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman
|
Redwall | Brian Jacques
|
Ender's Game | Orson Scott Card
|
The Illearth War** | Stephen R. Donaldson
|
Foundation | Issac Asimov
|
Emperor and Clown* | Dave Duncan
|
Berserker | Fred Saberhagen
|
The Garden of Rama* | Arthur C. Clarke & Gentry Lee
|
The Once & Future King | T. H. White
|
The Mote in God's Eye | Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
|
The Thief of Always | Clive Barker
|
Maps in a Mirror: The |
Short Fiction of Orson |
Scott Card (hardcover |
edition) | Orson Scott Card
|
White Gold Wielder** | Stephen R. Donaldson
|
And Then There Were |
None | Agatha Christie
|
Otherland: City of |
Golden Shadow* | Tad Williams
|
Wyrms | Orson Scott Card
|
The Gap into Conflict: |
The Real Story* | Stephen R. Donaldson
|
Earthborn* | Orson Scott Card
|
To Green Angel Tower** | Tad Williams

Any of the above are worth reading, but if you only read one, read
_Wizard's First Rule_, by Terry Goodkind. Or, if you prefer SF to
F, read _Ender's Game_, by Orson Scott Card.

"STOP READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - anonymous friend of mine
"Doug, put down that book. You'll bump into someone!" - same person
_____________________________________________________________________


Hi! I'm a .signature virus! Copy me into yours and join the fun!

_____________________________________________________________________
And now begins the quoting section of my .sig:
_____________________________________________________________________
|"Wizard's First Rule: People are stupid. People are stupid; given |
|proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. |
|Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie beacuse they |
|want it to be true, or because they are afraid it might be true. |
|People's heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most |
|of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they|
|can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, |
|and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to |
|fool." - From Wizard's First Rule, by Terry Goodkind |
|___________________________________________________________________|
"Ni!" - The Knights who say Ni (Monty Python & The Holy Grail)

"Get a life!" - Get-a-life troll

"I have no life, and I'm proud of it!" - Me

"Life. Don't talk to me about life." - Marvin the Paranoid Android

"BARNEY MUST DIE! ALL ELSE IS IRRELEVANT!" - The Jihad FAQ

"If you say the word "meow" once we will kill you." - Bob, AGFF God

"It is a good day to die." - Traditional Klingon saying

"To die would be a great adventure!" - Peter Pan (Hook)

"Death is the only adventure you have left." - Captain Hook (Hook)

"Thou art dead." - The Dragon Warrior I battle announcer

"What is it with you and death, Doug?" - Bob, AGFF God

"Well, the truth is, I just make belittling comments and snicker a
bit behind death's back." - Z (Antz)

"No, that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe
has that." - Ford Prefect

"I thought of many unique and ingenious ways to kill myself, but then
I realized that commiting suicide in Buffalo was redundant!" - A
character whose name I have forgotton (A Chorus Line)

"The two most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and
stupidity." - Phillip Jose Farmer

"There are only two truly infinite things: the universe and
stupidity. And I am unsure about the universe." - Albert Einstein

"We're here, We're stupid, Get used to it!" - Mad Magazine

"I can just see the look on their stupid faces!" - Slippy Toad

"I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard
stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes
way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of
stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed
on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten
so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing
hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second
than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Nothing in
our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some
primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure
essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond
the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is
an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me
again for a while." - งเrs

"There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot." - Dilbert

"What kind of idiot do they think I am!" - Dilbert's boss after being
told that 40 percent of sick days were taken on Mondays and Fridays

"People are idiots." - Scott Adams

"In the grand experiment of evolution, their ancestors were the
control group." - Shiva the Perpetually Busy

"Making teenagers depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel."
- Bart Simpson

"You mean the Mob only did me a favor to get something in return?"
- Homer Simpson

"Just because I'm the devil doesn't mean I'm insensitive." - Harry
Tophet, The Devil (From the not-so-good movie "Oh, God! You Devil!")

"I am Pentium of Borg! Division is Futile! You will be approximated!"
- Robert Irwin

"The hell law: Hell is reserved solely for those who believe in it.
Furthermore, the lowest ring in hell is reserved for those who
believe in it because they think that if they don't believe in it,
they will go there." - Neal Wilson

"Am I a man or what? - A What! - What? Yes, that's right!"
- Vesa-Matti Sarenius

"That's a GUY?" - Marle (Chrono Trigger)

"But it's exterior is that of a female!" - Robo (Chrono Trigger)

"And I really am a slut!" - Bobbenhood (aka Bob, AGFF God)

"Question: If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody's around, and it
hits a mime, does anyone care?" - Gary Larson, The Far Side

"Nope." - Falimortalis

"Rayguns don't vaporize Zorbonians, Zorbonians vaporize Zorbonians."
- Gary Larson

"D'oh!" - Homer Simpson

"That's what they all say. They all say D'oh." - Chief Wiggum, after
arresting Homer for shooting Mr. Burns

"I think I shall never see, A billboard as lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."
- Ogden Nash

"It never ceases to amaze me that a man [Bill Gates] could come so
far by peddling inferior products." - Anonymous

"You are heading for a land of sunshine." - Fortune cookie

"And I thought I was heading for a land of padded rooms!" - Jaywolf1

"Just because you have a different reality doesn't mean you can't be
firmly grounded in it." - Charon

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all
progress depends on the unreasonable man." - George Bernard Shaw

"Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids! Eat them!" - Homer Simpson,
kidnapped by the Space Mutants

"You don't spend ten years as a homicidal maniac without learning a
few things about dynamite." - Sideshow Bob (The Simpsons)

"There's only one foolproof way to tell if a man is honest - ask him.
If he says yes, then you know he's crooked." - Groucho Marx

"Don't blame me. I voted for Kodos." - Homer Simpson
_____________________________________________________________________
The following "taglines" were stolen from Nick Zitzmann's .sig.

BorgBurgers. We do it our way. Your way is irrelevant.
I am Locutus of Borg. Do you have any Grey Poupon?
I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to be assim... OOOHHH! DOUGHNUTS!
I am Elmer Fudd of Borg... Pwepawe to be Assimiwated
_____________________________________________________________________
Here's a Dilbert strip that I found hilarious. (I hope Scott Adams
doesn't mind it being in my .sig.)

Phil: My next victim...

(Phil walks into Dilbert's cubicle.)

Phil: I am Phil, the Prince of Insufficent Light and Master of Heck.

Dilbert: (without turning away from the computer screen) Hi, Phil.

Phil: To pay for your sins, you must choose between two horrible
fates. You can have eternal high pay, but your work will be burned
in front of you before you leave each day. Or you may choose eternal
poverty, but your work will be useful and appreciated.

Dilbert: Wow! They're BOTH better than my current job!

(Phil slaps himself in the face.)

Dilbert: (whispering to the guy in the next cubicle) Hey, I think you
should get in on this.

Wally: (the guy in the next cubicle) I watch TV while I'm supposed
to be telecommuting.

Dilbert: Do me first!
_____________________________________________________________________
Macavity: The Mystery Cat by T.S. Elliot (Used without permission.)
[Note - Phrases surrounded by _underscores_ should be in italics.]

Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw -
For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
For when you reach the scene of crime - _Macavity's not there_!

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
And when you reach the scene of crime - _Macavity's not there_!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air -
But I tell you once and once again, _Macavity's not there_!

Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin;
You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in.
His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly domed;
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed.
He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;
And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake.

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square -
But when a crime's discovered, then _Macavity's not there_!

He's outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard's
And when the larder's looted, or the jewel-case is rifled,
Or when the milk is missing, or another Peke's been stifled,
Or the greenhouse glass is broken, and the trellis past repair,
Ay, there's the wonder of the thing - _Macavity's not there_!

And when the Foreign Office find a Treaty's gone astray,
Or the Admiralty lose some plans and drawings by the way,
There may be a scrap of paper in the hall or on the stair -
But it's useless to investigate - _Macavity's not there_!
And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say:
"It _must_ have been Macavity!" - but he's a mile away.
You'll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs,
Or engaged in doing complicated long division sums.

Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare:
At whatever time the deed took place - MACAVITY WASN'T THERE!
And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)
Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time
Just controls their operations - the Napoleon of Crime!
_____________________________________________________________________
Still Going! Nothing outlasts my .Sig. It keeps going... and going...
and going...
_____________________________________________________________________
It's Still Rock And Roll To Me
by Billy Joel

What's the matter with the clothes I'm wearing?
"Can't you see that your tie's too wide?"
Maybe I should get some old tab collars?
"Welcome back to the age of jive.
Where have you been hidin' out lately, honey?
You can't dress trashy 'till you spend a lot of money!"
Ev'rybody's talkin' 'bout the new sound. Funny,
but it's still rock and roll to me.

What's the matter with the car I'm driving?
"Can't you see that it's out of style?"
Should I get a set of white wall tires?
"Are you gonna cruise the miracle mile?
Now a-days you can't be too sentimental.
Your best bet's a true baby blue Continental."
Hot funk, cool punk, even if it's old junk,
It's still rock and roll to me.

Oh,... It doesn't matter what they say in the papers,
'cause it's always been the same old scene.
There's a new band in town but you can't get the sound
from a story in a magazine...
aimed at your average teen.

How about a pair of pink sidewinders
and a bright orange pair of pants?
"Well, you really could be a Beau Brummel baby,
If you just give it half a chance.
Don't waste your money on a new set of speakers.
You get more mileage from a cheap pair of sneakers."
Next phase, new wave, dance craze; anyways
It's still rock and roll to me.

What's the matter with the crowd I'm seeing?
"Don't you know that they're out of touch?"
Should I try to be a straight A student?
"If you are, then you think too much.
Don't ya know about the new fashion, honey?
All you need are looks and a whole lot of money."
It's the next phase, new wave, dance craze; anyways
It's still rock and roll to me.

Ev'rybody's talkin' 'bout the new sound. Funny,
but it's still rock and roll to me.
_____________________________________________________________________
Here it is. The List. I've been collecting the most annoying songs
in the world, and put them in The List. If your song gets in The
List, look out!

The 10 most annoying songs (not including advertising jingles) in
the world are:

1) Sweet dreams are made of this...
(Perhaps the worst song ever written, it is guaranteed to
induce headaches. I'd rather listen to The Macarena than this.
I'd even go so far as to say I'd rather watch an episode of
Barney than listen to this song repeated for 27 minutes.)
2) I luv you, you luv me...
(Detested by all over the age of 5. BARNEY MUST DIE! ALL ELSE
IS IRRELEVANT! I'm not sure if it's annoying or just
sickening.
3) The Macarena
(Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-Macarena...
Ugh!)
4) Tell him... Tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes...
(I hate Celine Dion.)
5) You know you've got me by my deepest emotion... 'Cause you keep
givin' me... The best of love...
(This song can best be described by 3 words: Turn it off!)
6) "Mmm-Bop" by Hanson
(Its reputation can only get it so far. It won't go any higher
until I hear it.)
7) Near... Far... Wherever you are... I belive that the heart does
go on...
(I really hate Celine Dion.)
8) Quit playing games with my heart... with my heart...
(Insanely repetitive. It drives me crazy.)
9) For the first time... I'm looking in your eyes... For the first
time... I'm seeing who you are...
(It's pretty, but gets old _REAL_ fast.)
10) The Gold Saucer theme (FF7)
(What? You say the Mute button is broken? NOOOOOO! Oh, wait.
I'll just turn the volume all the way down. Uh-oh, it's too
late. Now I have it stuck in my head...)
_____________________________________________________________________
I hate SPAM. Anyone who spams my e-mail adress will be ignored.
(Disclaimer - I have nothing against the canned meat product SPAM,
just Unsolicited Commercial E-mail and commercial and otherwise
offensive posts to USENET.)

"It's SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAMMITY SPAM!
TERRIBLE SPAM!" - What the Monty Python SPAM song should have been

"SPAM in the back of my car ..." - "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Spam"

"Have some more yogurt, have some more SPAM!
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned!"
- "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Eat It"

"We eat ham and jam and SPAM a lot!" - The Knights of the Round Table
(Monty Python & the Holy Grail)

"I don't like SPAM!" - The Old Woman (The Monty Python SPAM skit).
_____________________________________________________________________
This .sig has been declared an official Waste of Bandwidth.
Join the Bandwidth Wasters! Here's our official logo:
____________________________
| |
| We waste Bandwidth! |
|____________________________|
| |
| We waste Bandwidth! |
|____________________________|
| |
| We waste Bandwidth! |
|____________________________|
| |
| We waste Bandwidth! |
|____________________________|
| |
| We waste Bandwidth! |
|____________________________|
| |
| We waste Bandwidth! |
|____________________________|
| |
|We're the Bandwidth Wasters!|
|____________________________|
Whenever you feel like Wasting Bandwith, add this to your post.
_____________________________________________________________________
This is the standard version of my .sig. To see the full version,
E-mail me at Cron...@AOL.com. To complain about its length, e-mail
me at gat...@microsoft.com.
_____________________________________________________________________
Anyone who thinks this .sig is too long will get THE BOOT dropped on
them! (It's 500 lines!) (So it's not exactly never-ending. Sue me.)
(Ok, I'll call a lawyer.) (D'oh!)
____________
| T |
| H |
| E |
| |
/ B |
/ O |
_____________/ O \
/ T \
| WILL CRUSH |
\ ALL WHO OPPOSE! |
\___________________________/
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Feel free to torture this ASCII drawing however you wish.
_____________________________________________________________________
This .sig has performed an illegal operation and will shut down.

Jal Karela

unread,
Dec 25, 1998, 3:00:00 AM12/25/98
to
DeepT wrote:
>
> After being knocked down by an unaturally swift Sperm whale, Zohar the
> Dreamer-Minstrel had to say:
>
> > On Sun, 20 Dec 1998 18:57:01 GMT, yc...@spam.dial.pipex.com (Kim Wild)
> > wrote:
> >
> > >On Sun, 20 Dec 1998 13:08:50 GMT, cyborgs rami...@netvision.net.il
> > >(Zohar the Dreamer-Minstrel) wrote:
> > >
> > >>On Sat, 19 Dec 1998 16:11:45 -0500, "Billy Callis"
> > >><call...@fuse.net> wrote:
> > >>
> > >>> When I'm doing some computer thing that involves alot of typing, and,
> > >>>without warning or provocation, it switches to Overtype Mode. I HATE
> > >>>Overtype mode!! Dammit!!
> > >>
> > >>That thing is really useless... I don't know why they invented it.
> > >
> > >Is that the equivalent of the Insert key here which when pressed down,
> > >means you type everything you have just typed? If so I HATE IT TOO!
> >
> > Yes, the horrible insert key.
> >
> > *rips out insert key*
> >
> > computer: You have ripped out a key. Because you have abused your
> > computer, it does not have the will to live. If you don't push the
> > insert key, this computer will self destruct in 5... 4...
> >
> > Zohar: Goodbye world...
> >
> > 3...
> >
> > 2...
> >
> > 1...
> >
> > BOOM!
>
> Another bug of Win98?

LOL.
--
Jal Karela, Discoverer.
Sinistral of AGFF.
ICQ: 10431258 AIM: Jal Karela

______
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% |||__|||
TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY POSTS \/ \/
TO ALT.GAMES.FINAL.FANTASY (0250)
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \__/

Points section:
20 Murgy Points
1 Cthulu Point
25 NightShade Undead Madness Points

If you want to email me, be sure to check the address carefully.

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