Reminds me of a Tiger Game.com only with true directional movement.
Game.com was a failed handheld from 97 that made some
very bold claims such as "sUrF tEh iInTeRnEtZ!", but in reality
you needed a seperate landline modem and a Unix shell
account that had access to a text browser like Lynx.
And I imagine the experience was like waiting in line
at the DMV while your dentist performed a root canal on you.
I tried "Duke Nukem 3D" on the Game.com (emulation), and not only
was it a strafy, dungeon crawly type experience with no
ability to turn or look behind you, but it was rediculously short.
I had the game beat within about 30 or so minutes.
Imagine someone dropping $40 for the cartridge and feeling
thoroughly reamed afterward. Even "sailing the seven seas" I felt
a bit ripped off.