Humor fom the Net

[Bill McCray]

BLOOPERS, SIGNS AND HEADLINES

JAIL MAY HAVE TO CLOSE DOORS

On his syndicated TV program, TV personality David Frost was discussing the problems of pollution. He told how important he thought it was for pollution inspectors to "personally pass drinking water."

MAN FOUND DEAD IN CEMETERY

Missing - A purple lady's bicycle from the church parking lot.

On Channel 2, in Chicago, the evening announcer finished up a commercial for an arthritis-relief ointment with this closing line: "For more inflammation read the label."

ACTOR'S DEATH DURING FILMING USUALLY CAREER-LIMITING MOVE

Newscaster (reading headlines): "... accident on freeway involves four cars, hospitalizes one."

Sign in a laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

RELIGION PLAYS MAJOR PART IN MESSAGE OF EASTER

Newscaster: Enthusiasts from far and wide journeyed hundreds of miles to queue up in some instances for more than six hours outside the British Museum to get a look at King Tutankhamun, the famous mammy.

Outside a second-hand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing
machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?

GUNFIRE IN SARAJEVO THREATENS CEASEFIRE.

Commercial: "This king-size refrigerator is large enough to seat all the nudes of your family ... suit all the needs of your family!"