OT-YOU KNOW YOU'RE LATINO IF.....

[Linda Gonzalez]

Someone forwarded this to me via email this morning..it is not meant
to be offensive, just to be lightheartedly funny.
Linda

YOU KNOW YOU'RE LATINO IF......

......you refer to any soft drink as a Coke.
......you refer to any cereal as postostes<Post toastees>
......everyone you know is your commadre, compadre,
primo, tia, or tio.
......you always use a tortilla in place of a fork.
......(Latina) you ALWAYS wear pantyhose, even when you are wearing
jeans.
......your parents idea of timeout is knocking you out COLD.
......you've been chased by your parents with a tree
limb.
......you still believe in the Lechusas or Chupacabra.
......you've ever slept with a raw egg in a glass of water under your
bed.
.....(TRUE Latino) the egg in the glass of water under your bed
COOKED!
......(TRUE Latino) if you know what Ojo means!
......you've ever had to visit a Curandera!!!!!
......all the guests at your wedding or quinceniera are your sponsors
and paid for everything!
.....after having everyone else pay for your wedding, you still have
a dollar dance to pay for your Honeymoon at La Quinta on Delarosa St!
AND YOU STILL EXPECT A GIFT!
......your mamacita or abuelita wants to give you a purga (laxative)
for any and all your ailments
......you own a chihuahua, not because its cute and
you like it, but because you have an asthmatic child and you want the
chihuahua to take the asthma.
......you get spanked with the "MATAMOSCAS"
......you have a 3D portrait of Jesus or the Virgin of Guadalupe
hanging on the largest wall of your living room.
......you make your kid wear a deer's eye necklace to
guard them from "OJO" (the evil eye).
......you volunteer for your family to go to the park
and reserve a spot 5 days before EASTER.
......you bless yourself and the entire family as you
pass a church
("La Benedicion")
......you must have menudo the day after a hangover
and it's goooooood!
......the party ends at midnight and you move the
party to Tia Petras house until the roosters crow.
......your welita/welito gives you a quarter and
they tell you "Ve y comprate algo".
I could go on and on, but my novela is coming on!