Barbie Doll 's Body Measurements
R.Swenson
Looking at the latest ad for a Barbie Doll :"Bob Mackie's Moon
Goddess Barbie (She's Heavenly): a collectors doll for $200. (+ or -)
........and it made me think about the item I read once concerning the
bad press Barbie gets from Mother's who say the doll is a bad thing
to buy for young girls who view the Barbie doll as the way most men
and women want the average American woman to look ; a most desirable
but impossible figure (in most cases) to imitate.
With her tall,slim body,blond hair,blue eyes,super long perfect legs
and full breasts she is a man's fantacy sexual partner. . . . .if she
were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
Are these measurements correct? What have you read? Or do you
care?
Gamara II Dragon
r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
>With her tall,slim body,blond hair,blue eyes,super long perfect legs
>and full breasts she is a man's fantacy sexual partner. . . . .if she
>were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
[snip]
For some men, Barbie is their fantacy sexual partner. period.
Gamara II Dragon
..-=={UDIC}==-.
R.Swenson
r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
>were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
> Are these measurements correct? What have you read? Or do you
>care?
============================================================
Oops ! I should have typed : 37D x 24 x 36 inches !
R.Swenson
Philo
r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
>were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
I've never understood how they get the 6' height. I woulda thought
that while scaling the doll up to life size, the height is how you
know when to stop (IOW, make her 5'8, and multiply the rest of the
measurements to match).
Incidentally, though it's somewhat rare, there's nothing unhealthy
about 37D-24-36. Cites I've seen (FOAF) have been along the lines of
FF cup and 20 inch waist, which IS a very unhealthy goal.
Philo "bet she pays a fortune for plastic shampoo" NLN
--
======================================================================
Philo ||
ph...@radix.net || Due to a system error,
2E GULC <*> || Eudora cannot display a .sig
http://www.radix.net/~philo ||
======================================================================
J.D. Baldwin
In article <5bdrkg$1...@mtinsc01-mgt.ops.worldnet.att.net>, R. Swenson
<rswenson@ hotmail.com> wrote:
>With her tall,slim body,blond hair,blue eyes,super long perfect legs
>and full breasts she is a man's fantacy sexual partner. . . . .if she
>were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
>
> Are these measurements correct? What have you read? Or do you
>care?
For what it's worth, I never found Barbie all that attractive. Now,
Ariel from "The Little Mermaid," on the other hand . . .
As to Barbie's proportions, I always assumed that the distortions
were an artifact of the fact that "real"-looking models of things
don't always preserve their proportions when you make toys to
represent them. And I have therefore just chalked this up to the
antics of just another singular vocal group "discovering" evidence of
sinister intent in something relatively innocent. (If you consider
a marketing empire based on suckering little children to be
capable of being "innocent" in any sense.)
--
From the catapult of J.D. Baldwin |+| "If anyone disagrees with anything I
_,_ Finger bal...@netcom.com |+| say, I am quite prepared not only to
_|70|___:::)=}- for PGP public |+| retract it, but also to deny under
\ / key information. |+| oath that I ever said it." --T. Lehrer
***~~~~-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Barbara Mikkelson
Gamara II Dragon <Gam...@geocities.com> wrote:
> For some men, Barbie is their fantacy sexual partner.
Yup, and I'm married to all of them.
Barbara "merry'd wife of when-sir" Mikkelson
--
Barbara Mikkelson | Enough people have been killed in the region
bha...@fas.harvard.edu | due to unforeseen moose collisions.
| - Jackie Laderoute
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
View a random urban legend --> http://www.best.com/~snopes/randomul.cgi
Ian Munro
R.Swenson (r.sw...@hotmail.com) wrote:
[re: blowing up Barbie]
: Some have said that if
: she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
: size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
The usual figures cited are much more extreme than this; I can't remember
the numbers, but it would be impossible without extracting several ribs
and using them to cantilever the breasts. However, as Ted Frank (I think)
pointed out here some time ago, these measurements don't take Barbie's
clothes into account. Measure her with her clothes on, and her
measurements are perhaps humanly possible.
Ian "except, of course, for the eyes" Munro
--
"I'm partial to chicks who have eyeballs 1/3rd the size of their face."
--Paul Tomblin
John Clarke Mccanless
R.Swenson <rswenson@ hotmail.com> wrote:
<snip>
> Some have said that if
>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
>
>care?
Those measurements are not at all impossible, and in fact wouldn't be
all that attractive, probably; the version I heard was that that her
measurements would be something like 44-14-36 : a true wasp-waist.
But anyway, no, I guess I don't really much care.
John "It's Ken who should worry about what his measurements would be"
McCanless
--
John C. McCanless
Lockheed Martin Federal Systems
Manassas, Virginia
Internet: john.mc...@lmco.com
will...@netcom.com
Philo (ph...@radix.net) wrote:
: r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
: >were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
: >she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
: >size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
: I've never understood how they get the 6' height. I woulda thought
: that while scaling the doll up to life size, the height is how you
: know when to stop (IOW, make her 5'8, and multiply the rest of the
: measurements to match).
: Incidentally, though it's somewhat rare, there's nothing unhealthy
: about 37D-24-36. Cites I've seen (FOAF) have been along the lines of
: FF cup and 20 inch waist, which IS a very unhealthy goal.
Not that I was assigned to the project, darn it, but I would think you
could estimate B.'s height by using some standard sized accessory, such
as a Nissan 300ZX.
HTH,
Wm
--
William Homer|will...@netcom.com|ftp://ftp.netcom.com/pub/wi/william1/weh.html
Ted Frank
In article <5bgt4l$k...@decaxp.harvard.edu>,
Ian Munro <imu...@fas2.fas.harvard.edu> wrote:
> However, as Ted Frank (I think)
>pointed out here some time ago, these measurements don't take Barbie's
>clothes into account.
I take credit for the investigations into the Cock Ring Ken, the Barbie
Liberation Organization (which, previously unbeknownst to me, consists of
FOAFs), and Malibu Stacy. I'll have to disclaim any knowledge about
measuring Barbie with or without clothes.
Couldn't find it on Dejanews, either.
Ted "mmmm... point seven waist-to-hips ratio" Frank
--
m...@radix.net http://www.radix.net/~moe
"Also, by the way, the inside of [an Orbitz] cap says DEFY GRAVITY, except
I've dropped the cap at least 10 times for proper statistical data, and it
only flies to the ceiling about once every third time." -- Louis Nick
2132...@msu.edu
>I think you all need to *look* at a Barbie. I don't see any comic
>book proportions there...
I don't know what Barbie you are looking at (or who you are dating)
but the doll is a bit on the extreme side. However, the point here
in MY estimation is *a bit* extreme. And certainly less extreme
then the comic book heroines you mention. The people who complain
also fail to take into account a little girl's imagination. During
*my* Barbie phase, back in the early 60s, I had her driving my
brother's bulldozer as often as putting on the frilly dresses.
(Anyone else remember/have the one with the wigs? She had a better
butch then my brother's GI Joe -- and could fit into the uniform!)
(I haven't seen many men that look like action figures either.)
Simon Slavin
In article <32e779c4...@news1.radix.net>,
ph...@radix.net (Philo) wrote:
> r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
>
> >were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
> >she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
> >size breasts, [24] inch waist and 36 inch hips.
>
> I've never understood how they get the 6' height. I woulda thought
> that while scaling the doll up to life size, the height is how you
> know when to stop (IOW, make her 5'8, and multiply the rest of the
> measurements to match).
They get the six foot height by comparing Barbie to her accessories.
In the design-sheet used by Mattel, there are descriptions of how
Barbie really /can/ move (i.e. freedom of movements of each of her
joints, how flexible the plastic is, etc.) and how she'd be able to
move if she were real. I don't recall the vital statistics, but I'll
believe 37-24-36.
> Incidentally, though it's somewhat rare, there's nothing unhealthy
> about 37D-24-36.
There's a girl (woman, now, I suppose) from London who makes her
living imitating Barbie. She works on the Mattel stand at toy
industry shows and makes a few appearences opening playschools and
toy shops. She looks very like Barbie, appears to have proportions
very like hers, and is, in make-up at least, good looking. On the
down-side, she's instantly recognisable as a doll -- the hair-style
looks a little odd on a human, as though she's just stepped out of
the 1960s.
Above information from a BBC2 programme celebrating Barbie's (30th?)
anniversary. If you think that having small girls wanting to look
like Barbie is bad, consider the alternatives: Barney ?
Simon "Lo, kern bra fallout ! Aberrant full look." Slavin.
--
Simon Slavin -- Computer Contractor. | You're thinking of phenylketonuria.
http://www.hearsay.demon.co.uk | Aspartame doesn't contain lithium.
Check email address for spam-guard. | This information is not useful. I'm
Junk email not welcome at this site. | not sure about escalators, really.
| -- wi...@netcom.com (Wim Lewis)
Elizabeth Jones
>the numbers, but it would be impossible without extracting several ribs
>pointed out here some time ago, these measurements don't take Barbie's
>measurements are perhaps humanly possible.
>
Hasn't anyone besides me noticed the uncanny similarity between
Barbie and actress/dancer Vera Ellen, as she trips the light fantastic
in the movie White Christmas?
Ebeth "the old Barbie, who had style & class, not the current model" Jones
--
Elizabeth Jones..................... eb...@universe.digex.net
"In this brave new world, children are recreational byproducts"
Tony Snow
Charles Lieberman
In <5bdrkg$1...@mtinsc01-mgt.ops.worldnet.att.net> did R.Swenson
(r.sw...@hotmail.com) decree:
> With her tall,slim body,blond hair,blue eyes,super long perfect legs
> and full breasts she is a [straight] man's fantacy sexual partner. . . . .if
> she were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
Not mine, particularly
--
Charles A. Lieberman http://members.tripod.com/~calieber/index.htm
Brooklyn, New York, USA
"Well I have walked/Over miles/And under a stone wall/Across the fields
of snow"--For Squirrels
Mike Rejsa
Ian Munro <imu...@fas2.fas.harvard.edu> wrote:
: R.Swenson (r.sw...@hotmail.com) wrote:
: The usual figures cited are much more extreme than this; I can't remember
: the numbers, but it would be impossible without extracting several ribs
: and using them to cantilever the breasts.
I think you all need to *look* at a Barbie. I don't see any comic
book proportions there...
--
------------------------------------------------------------------------
mi...@primenet.com
Camilla shrieked in horror, he was saying it again...
"I'm Chuckie... let's PLAY!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
VortexPC
will...@netcom.com wrote in article <william1E...@netcom.com>...
> Not that I was assigned to the project, darn it, but I would think you
> could estimate B.'s height by using some standard sized accessory, such
> as a Nissan 300ZX.
> HTH,
> Wm
Are those accessories even to scale with each other? For example, is the
Nissan to scale with the corvette? Also, could someone who has a barbie
and at least one such accessory please post the measurements of that doll
and that accessory so that someone who has access to a real world
equivalent to the accessory can take the measurements so someone can do the
calculations to find the measurements for a 5'8" Barbie?
--
signed,
Plato T. Clifford
"the Vortex"
<<<UNIMPORTANT DISCLAIMER>>>
The "PC" in VortexPC does not stand for what you think it does.
The "truth" as stated in the above document is relative to my own current
perception of reality and is not necessarily representative of the universe
as it truly is. Nor are the views expressed above necessarily the views of
Clifford Art & Photography ™: a fictitious business name used by my family
as an excuse to be creative.
Moiner
In article <kctd...@kirk.demon.co.uk>, Ewan Kirk
<ewanREMOVE_T...@kirk.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In Article <5behqg$9...@dfw-ixnews4.ix.netcom.com> Gamara II Dragon
>writes:
>>
>>For some men, Barbie is their fantacy sexual partner. period.
>>
>
>As far as I know, Barbie does not endure the lunar tempest.
More importantly, neither does she unleash it. It's men who endure it.
>Ewan "not tonight Ken" Kirk.
Now, Ken-- there's a girl's fantasy partner.
Just keeps on smiling and standing there silently,
while she tries on one pair of shoes after another...
--
Moiner
"ubbardus delendus est"
Robert Bo Lawler
Ted Frank <m...@Radix.Net> wrote:
>I take credit for the investigations into the Cock Ring Ken, the Barbie
>Liberation Organization (which, previously unbeknownst to me, consists of
>FOAFs), and Malibu Stacy. I'll have to disclaim any knowledge about
>measuring Barbie with or without clothes.
I have a paper copy of a "cock Ring Ken" article that appeared in a
SF Newspaper circa 1991, when I was working in a desert and someone
perceived that I needed some humorous reading material. It's got
some pretty good quotes from Matel employees, and some astute
observations about Barbie, Kem, and queer chic.
I can type it in if there's interest and a lack of on-line version,
though I haven't researched the matter myself. Any takers?
Bo "the ring was pretty useless in the desert" Lawler
Emily Kelly
Robert "Bo" Lawler <law...@zappa.forestry.uga.edu-nuke-this-for-email> wrote:
>I have a paper copy of a "cock Ring Ken" article that appeared in a
>SF Newspaper circa 1991,
>
>though I haven't researched the matter myself. Any takers?
Likewise, Duke University Press put out a book a couple years ago on
queer Barbie; it had nearly a whole chapter on Cock Ring Ken, though I
found the earlier Barbie-Midge speculation more intriguing. Let me
see...right then:
Title: Barbie's queer accessories / Erica Rand.
Author: Rand, Erica, 1958-
Published: Durham : Duke University Press, 1995.
Subject: Sexual orientation --United States --Miscellanea.
Homosexuality --United States --Miscellanea.
Barbie dolls --Social aspects.
Barbie dolls --Marketing.
Popular culture --United States --Miscellanea.
Emily "good pictures, too, but are we really on-topic?" Kelly
--
Emily Harrison Kelly "When you're falling through the sky you don't have a
eke...@acpub.duke.edu lot of choice about things really." --andrew welsh
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
For the AFU FAQ: http://www.urbanlegends.com/afu.faq/
Jeff & Mary Morris
I have some info here from the book 'Forever Barbie' (M.G. Lord, 1994,
Morrow, ISBN 0-688-12296-5) about Barbie's waist. Apparently, the
abnormally small waist measurement is due in part to Barbie's being app
1/6th human scale, while the fabrics that make up her clothes aren't. To
quote:
"The inner seam on the waistband of a skirt involves four layers of
cloth - and four thicknesses of human scale fabric on a
one-sixth-human-scale doll would cause the doll's waist to appear
dramatically larger than her hips." (pages 12-13, hardback edition)
I believe there is some information later in the book regarding what
Barbie's measurements would be at human size, but I have been unable to
locate it just yet.
It's an interesting book which traces not only the history of the
doll, but also the recent Barbie craze and the sociological
implications. The author makes some rather odd conclusions - (Barbie as
earth goddess?) but it's a fascinating read.
Mary
Robert Bo Lawler
Ted Frank <m...@Radix.Net> wrote:
>I take credit for the investigations into the Cock Ring Ken, the Barbie
>Liberation Organization (which, previously unbeknownst to me, consists of
>FOAFs), and Malibu Stacy. I'll have to disclaim any knowledge about
>measuring Barbie with or without clothes.
So I found the paper copy of the "Cock Ring Magic Ken" article a F (not
FOAF) sent me a while back, circa summer 93. All typos are mine.
Bo "Ken's ring size is clearly not proportional either" Lawler
-----
A Cooler, Queerer, Ken
by Dan Savage
"We're not in the business of putting cock rings in the hands of
little girls" - Lisa McKendall, Manager of Marketing and
Communications, Mattel Toys.
Mattel's new Ken doll is on the market. New Ken is getting almost as
much press as New Coke did. Since his introduction at a toy
convention in New York City in February, Ken's been everywhere,
including the front page of The New York Times Arts and Leisure
section. Why the hoopla? Ken's first piercing (his left ear), and
his two-tone "greased lightning" hair-do.
[Picture of Ken, wearing slick-backed blond hair, midriff exposing
tshirt, black jeans, and a necklace with a metallic ring about the
proportional size of a thumb and forefinger making a circle]
But an important part of Earring Magic Ken's new wardrobe has been
overlooked by the straight media - Ken's cock ring. Hanging around
Ken's neck, on a silver metallic thread, is what ten out of ten fags
will tell you is a cock ring.
Mattel Toys, in the person of Lisa McKendall, denies the ring around
Ken's neck is a cock ring. "Absolutely not," she said. "It's a
necklace. It holds charms he can share with Barbie. C'mon, this is a
doll designed for little girls; something like that would be totally
inappropriate." Okay, Lisa, let's call it a necklace. Queers have
been wearing cock rings as necklaces for years.
When they're not fashion statements, cock rings are worn around the
base of your cock, or your close-personal-friend's cock if you don't
have one of your own. Slip one on when you're soft; once you're
hard, it traps blood in the penis, increasing sensitivity and
prolonging orgasm. From a utilitarian point of view, that's an
absolute good, a win/win scenario.
[Picture of young anglo male, outdoors, wearing a cutoff tshirt,
short blond hair, and necklace remarkably similar to Ken's]
Chrome cock rings, like Ken's, were long worn by the leather crowd on
the shoulders of their biker jackets (left for top, right for
bottom). In the waning years of our national nightmare (a.k.a. the
Reagan-Bush years), younger gay-boy-activist-types with brand new
leather jackets took to wearing cock rings on whichever side looked
best or, to the horror of the leather crowd, on both sides. Tops?
Bottoms? Versatile? Clueless? Who knew? Then newly-minted
sex-positive dykes started wearing them - cocks or not, they didn't
want to get left out of the sex-positive accesorizing.
Cock rings exploded (ouch!) as vest zipper pulls, as key rings, as
braclets; rubber ones, leather ones, chain mail. But the thick chrome
variety, the Classic Coke of cock rings, was and is most often worn as
a necklace. Chrome cock ring necklaces became de-rigeur rave-wear.
For about a year, every gay boy at a rave was wearing at lesat one -
these cock rings were often pressed into service later in the evening,
to help totally tweaked ravers keep up what the X was pulling down.
[Picture of deeply tanned young anglo male, mirrored aviator
sunglasses, backwards baseball cap, bared muscular chest, and yet
another cock ring necklace.]
On closer inspection, Ken's entire "Earring Magic" outfit looks like
three-year-old rave wear. A gaultier purple faux-leather vest, a
straight-out-of-International-Male purple mesh shirt, black jeans and
shoes. It would seem Mattel's crack Ken re-design team spent a week
in L.A. or New York dashing from rave to rave, taking notes and
Polaroids.
Ken's re-design was prompted by the advice of little girls who play
with him. "Two years ago we did a survey," Lisa McKendall said. "We
asked girls if Barbie should get a new boyfriend or stick with Ken.
They wanted Barbie to stay with Ken, but wanted Ken to look a little
cooler." And what's cool in the USA right now? What's hip? Queers
are.
Turn on MTV and watch the seven-foot tall drag queen (we're all
praying she isn't a one-hit-wonder) strut her fine stuff for the
heartland. Lesbian comics on Arsenio (how far he's come! - thank you,
Queer Nation). Gay and Lesbian activists in the Oval Office chatting
with the president. A live feeeed of the Queer March on Washington
running on C-Span.
Suddenly, it's hip to be queer. The little girls of our great nation
wanted a hipper Ken, and Mattel gave them a hip Ken. A Queer Ken.
"Ken and Barbie both reflect mainstream society, reflect what little
girls see in their world," said my pal Lisa, who was getting awfully
testy about my line of questioning. "What they see their dad,
brothers, and uncles wearing, they want Ken to wear."
As nice as Lisa is (which isn't very), I'm not sure I buy her line of
reasoning. How many dad out there are running around with cock rings
dangling from chains around their necks? How many mesh shirts does
International Male sell to the Junes and Wards of our great nation?
What the little girls are seeing, and telling Mattel was cool, wasn't
what their relatives were wearing - unless they had hip-queer
relatives - but homoerotic fashions and imagery they were seeing on
MTV, what they saw Madonna's dancer's wearing in her concerts and
films and, as it happens, what ACT UP/Queer Nation fags and dykes were
wearing to demos and raves.
When you've made it in to the aisles of Toys'R'Us, your movement has
arrived - remember the sudden appearance of African American
Barbie-style dolls after the full impact of their civil rights began
to be felt? Queer Ken is the high-water-mark of, depending on your
point of view, either queer infiltration into popular culture or the
thoughtless appropraition of queer culture by heterosexuals. Lisa
seemed genuinely unaware of the origins of Ken's "necklace" - abd it's
highly doubtful Mattel's design teams were lurking at queer raves.
Queer imagery has so permeated our culture that from rock stars (Axl
Rose and his leather chaps) to toy designers, mainstream America isn't
even aware when it's adopting queer fashions and mores. Or when
they're putting cock rings, even little plastic ones, into the hands
of little girls.
Earring Magic Ken is available at Toy'R'Us stores in the 'burbs. He's
made in China, costs only $10.99 and comes with a set of people-sized
earrings you can wear around the house or out to the bars. While Ken
now has a cock ring, he still doesn't have a cock.
"Traditionally, Ken doesn't sell as well as Barbie. Ken is a girl's
toy..." said Lisa. Mattel may be surprised how well Cock Ring Magic
Ken sells - queers are snapping up this new Ken. I got mine.
----
Reprinted w/o permission. Copied from Nucity of 18June through
1July '93, a weekly paper from Albuqueque NM.
LaMaia Cramer
Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
>I've never understood how they get the 6' height. I woulda thought
>that while scaling the doll up to life size, the height is how you
>know when to stop (IOW, make her 5'8, and multiply the rest of the
>measurements to match).
I believe that the 6' figure is produced by scaling her head up
a factor, until it is "average" for a human woman.
-LaMaia
Stephan Zielinski
law...@zappa.forestry.uga.edu-nuke-this-for-email (Robert "Bo" Lawler) writes:
> I have a paper copy of a "cock Ring Ken" article that appeared in a
> I can type it in if there's interest and a lack of on-line version,
> though I haven't researched the matter myself.
I just want to intervene now to keep you from working your fingers any
harder than necessary. (If I had OCR, some of my posts would be a
thousand lines long.)
Reprinted without permission from NUCITY of 18 June thru 1 July '93
A Cooler, Queerer, Ken
by Don Savage
"We're not in the business of putting cock rings into the hands of
little girls." - Lisa McKendall, Manager of Marketing and
Communications, Mattel Toys.
Mattel's new Ken doll is on the market. New Ken is getting almost as
much press as New Coke did. Since his introduction at a toy
convention in New York City in February, Ken's been everywhere,
including the front page of the New York Times Arts and Leisure
section. Why the hoopla? Ken's first piercing (his left ear) and his
two-tone "greased lightning" hair-do.
But an important part of Earring Magic Ken's new wardrobe has been
overlooked by the straight media - Ken's cock ring. Hanging around
Ken's neck, on a metallic silver thread, is what ten out of ten fags
at a glance will tell you is a cock ring.
Mattel Toys, in the person of Lisa McKendall, denies the ring around
Ken's neck is a cock ring. "Absolutely not," she said. "It's a
necklace. It holds charms he can share with Barbie. C'mon, this is a
doll designed for little girls; something like that would be entirely
inappropriate." Okay, Lisa, let's call it a necklace. Queers have
been wearing cock rings as necklaces for years.
When they're not fashion statements, cock rings are worn around the
base of your cock, or your close-personal-friend's cock if you don't
have one of your own. Slip one on when you're soft; once you're hard,
it traps blood in the penis, increasing sensation and prolonging
orgasm. From a utilitarian point of view, that's an absolute good, a
win/win scenario.
Chrome cock rings, like Ken's, were long worn by the leather crowd on
the shoulders of their biker jackets (left for top, right for bottom).
In the waning years of our long national nightmare (aka the
Reagan-Bush years), younger gay-boy-activist-types with brand-new
leather jackets took to wearing cock rings on whichever side looked
best or, to the horror of the leather crowd, on both sides. Tops?
Bottoms? Versatile? Clueless? Who knew? Then newly-minted
sex-positive dykes started wearing them - cocks or not, they didn't
want to miss out on any of the sex-positive accessorizing.
Cock rings exploded (ouch!) - as vest zipper pulls, as key rings, as
bracelets; rubber ones, leather ones, chain mail. But the thick
chrome variety, the Classic Coke of cock rings, was and is most often
worn as a necklace. Chrome cock ring necklaces became de rigeur rave
wear. For about a year, every gay boy at a rave was wearing at least
one - these cock rings were often pressed into service later in the
evening, to help totally tweaked raver keep up what the X was pulling
down.
On closer inspection, Ken's entire "Earring Magic" outfit looks like
three-year-old rave wear. A Gaultier purple faux-leather vest, a
straight-out-of-International-Male purple mesh shirt, black jeans and
shoes. It would seem Mattel's crack Ken redesign team spent a weekend
in LA or New York, dashing from rave to rave, taking notes and
polaroids.
Ken's redesign was prompted by the advice of little girls who play
with him. "two years ago we did a survey," Lisa McKendall said. "We
asked girls if Barbie should get a new boyfriend or stick with Ken.
They wanted her to stay with Ken, but wanted Ken to look a little
cooler." And what's cool in the USA right now? What's hip? Queers
are.
Turn on MTV and watch the seven-foot-tall drag queen (we're all
praying she isn't a one-hit wonder) strut her fine stuff for the
heartland. Lesbian comics on Arsenio (how far he's come! - thank you,
Queer Nation). Gay and Lesbian activists in the Oval Office chatting
with the president. A live feed of the Queer March on Washington
running on C-Span.
Suddenly, it's hip to be queer. The little girls of our great nation
wanted a hipper Ken, and Mattel gave them a hip Ken. A queer Ken.
"Ken and Barbie both reflect mainstream society, reflect what little
girls see in their world," said my pal Lisa, who was getting awfully
testy about my line of questioning. "what they see their dads,
brothers, and uncles wearing, they want Ken to wear.
As nice as Lisa is (which isn't very), I'm not sure I buy her line of
reasoning. How many dads out there are running around with cock rings
dangling from chains around their necks? How many mesh shirts does
International Male sell to the James and Wards of our great nation?
What the little girls were seeing, and telling Mattel was cool, wasn't
what their relation were wearing - unless they had hip-queer relatives
- but the homoerotic fashions and imagery they were seeing on MTV,
what they saw Madonna's dancers wearing in her concerts and films and,
as it happens, what ACT UP/Queer Nation fags and dykes were wearing to
demos and raves.
When you've made it into the aisles of Toys"R"Us, your moment has
arrived - remember the sudden appearance of African-American
Barbie-style dolls after the full impact of their civil rights
movement began to be felt? Queer Ken is the high-water mark of,
depending on your point of view, either queer infiltration into
popular culture or the thoughtless appropriation of queer culture by
heterosexuals. Lisa seemed genuinely unaware of the origins of Ken's
"necklace" - and it's highly doubtful that Mattel's design teams were
lurking at queer raves. Queer imagery has so permeated our culture
that from rock stars (Axl Rose and his leather chaps) to toy
designers, mainstream America isn't even aware when it's adopting
queer fashions and mores. Or when they're putting cock rings, even
little plastic ones, into the hands of little girls.
Earring Magic Ken is available at Toys"R"Us stores in the 'burbs.
He's made in China, costs $10.99 and comes with a set of people-sized
earrings you can wear around the house or out to the bars. While Ken
now has a cock ring, he still doesn't have a cock.
"Traditionally, Ken doesn't sell as well as Barbie. Ken's a girl's
toy..." said Lisa. Mattel may be surprised how well Cock Ring Magic
Ken sells - queers are snapping up the new Ken. I got mine.
Philo
On 17 Jan 1997 17:41:40 -0800, Stephan Zielinski <szie...@pbi.net>
wrote:
>Cock rings exploded (ouch!) - as vest zipper pulls, as key rings, as
>bracelets; rubber ones, leather ones, chain mail. But the thick
>chrome variety, the Classic Coke of cock rings, was and is most often
>worn as a necklace. Chrome cock ring necklaces became de rigeur rave
>wear. For about a year, every gay boy at a rave was wearing at least
>one - these cock rings were often pressed into service later in the
>evening, to help totally tweaked raver keep up what the X was pulling
>down.
I'm confused (and sheltered, I guess). Wearing a cock ring as a
*necklace* would seem to necessitate either a very, very large cock, a
very, very small neck, or something in between.
Has this article completely confused the concept of "necklace" and
"pendant" or "charm"? And which does Ken have? A scale ring *on* a
necklace, or a lifesize ring *as* a necklace?
Philo "not to be confused with pednatic" NLN
ph...@radix.net
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Suppose you were an idiot.
And suppose you were a member of Congress.
But I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain
Philo
On 17 Jan 1997 15:12:24 -0700, lam...@unm.edu (LaMaia Cramer) wrote:
>
>I believe that the 6' figure is produced by scaling her head up
>a factor, until it is "average" for a human woman.
>
Human woman with an 8" neck.
Philo "Barbie likes necking" NLN
Cindy Kandolf
Jeff & Mary Morris <jsmo...@inlink.com> writes:
| I have some info here from the book 'Forever Barbie' (M.G. Lord, 1994,
| Morrow, ISBN 0-688-12296-5) about Barbie's waist. Apparently, the
| abnormally small waist measurement is due in part to Barbie's being app
| 1/6th human scale, while the fabrics that make up her clothes aren't. To
| quote:
|
| "The inner seam on the waistband of a skirt involves four layers of
| cloth - and four thicknesses of human scale fabric on a
| one-sixth-human-scale doll would cause the doll's waist to appear
| dramatically larger than her hips." (pages 12-13, hardback edition)
I've seen this before, and i still have not heard an answer to my
question: why is this not a problem with Ken? Okay, his measurements
are distorted, too, but he does not have an absurdly skinny waist as
Barbie does, despite the fact that his pants also require four layers
of cloth at the waistband. The old Skipper (before she hit puberty)
also had a fairly realistic waist. But neither Ken nor Skipper
appeared to be sporting a spare tire.
Also, the fabric used for Barbie's clothes is generally pretty thin
stuff, not really what ordinary humans would choose for their clothes.
- Cindy Kandolf, certified language mechanic, mamma flodnak
flodmail: ci...@nvg.ntnu.no flodhome: Trondheim, Norway
flodweb: http://www.nethelp.no/cindy/
Jeff & Mary Morris
Cindy Kandolf wrote:being app
> I've seen this before, and i still have not heard an answer to my
> question: why is this not a problem with Ken? Okay, his measurements
> are distorted, too, but he does not have an absurdly skinny waist as
> Barbie does, despite the fact that his pants also require four layers
> of cloth at the waistband. The old Skipper (before she hit puberty)
> also had a fairly realistic waist. But neither Ken nor Skipper
> appeared to be sporting a spare tire.
>
> Also, the fabric used for Barbie's clothes is generally pretty thin
> stuff, not really what ordinary humans would choose for their clothes.
Actually, Ken -as he was originally designed- was, indeed,
abnormally skinny at the waist. Ken went through a major re-design
sometime during the sixties to 'beef him up'. Barbie never did, and
retains her original proportions. The quote I gave is attributed in the
book to a Mattel designer, but perhaps it's also true that Barbie still
reflects the popular fashion silhouette of the era she was designed in -
the fifties, when Dior's 'New Look' was so popular. Skipper came along
many years after Barbie, though looking at my reference books, she does
seem to have a narrower waist than called for also, both in the original
dolls and the later ones.
As for clothing - I've always been under the impression that Mattel
buys standard fabrics, though they do try to choose things that are
somewhat more in proportion. They don't always succeed - there have been
some very vocal complaints in recent years from serious collectors about
Barbie's clothes 'not being in proportion'. This kind of thing is
particularly obvious with trims and decorations - dresses covered in
sequins as big as the doll's hands, knits and corduroys that would look
ridiculous enlarged by a factor of six, that kind of thing. Strangly,
this becomes more obvious in the higher-end clothing, (the Fashion
Avenue line, for example) then in the cheaper play clothing and what's
usually found on the less-expensive 'pink box' play market dolls.
Sadly, over the years, the quality of the clothing Barbie wears has
declined noticably. Some of the vintage stuff is nothing short of
beautiful, and very well made. The great majority of Barbie clothing
today is nothing short of cheap.
Some good references for those interested in Barbie and her clothes -
Barbie Fashion, Vol 1, By Sarah Dink Eames, Collector Books, ISBN
0-89145-418-7
Barbie Dolls and Collectibles, By Sibyl DeWein and Joan Ashabraner,
Collector Books, ISBN 0-89145-052-1
Susan C. Mitchell
Simon Slavin <sla...@hearsay.demon.co.uk.NOJUNK> wrote:
: In article <32e779c4...@news1.radix.net>,
: ph...@radix.net (Philo) wrote:
: > r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
: >
: > >were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
: > >she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
: > >size breasts, [24] inch waist and 36 inch hips.
: >
: > I've never understood how they get the 6' height. I woulda thought
: > that while scaling the doll up to life size, the height is how you
: > know when to stop (IOW, make her 5'8, and multiply the rest of the
: > measurements to match).
: They get the six foot height by comparing Barbie to her accessories.
: In the design-sheet used by Mattel, there are descriptions of how
: Barbie really /can/ move (i.e. freedom of movements of each of her
: joints, how flexible the plastic is, etc.) and how she'd be able to
: move if she were real. I don't recall the vital statistics, but I'll
: believe 37-24-36.
The canonical set of Barbie measurements, drawn from _Nostalgic Barbie_
and oft cited on rec.collecting.dolls, is 39-18-33. I believe that this
is taking Barbie as being either 5'6" or 5'8" tall. She would weigh about
110 pounds, and wear a US size 7.
Think globally, act locally.
Susan C. "and wear strange orthopedic shoes" Mitchell
--
================== NEW ADDRESS: sus...@primenet.com ==================
"Gadfly is what they call you when you are no longer | "sus...@xroads.com"
dangerous. I much prefer troublemaker, malcontent, | is no longer valid.
desperado." -- Harlan Ellison |
Frank Raymond Michaels
Megan Knight <me...@vwv.com> wrote:
>Frank Raymond Michaels wrote:
>>
>> Add that to the fact that she has no nipples or navel, and well, she's
>> just not all that appealing. (Oddly, a former girlfriend of mine had
>> the same problem -- when I'd complain, she'd just tell me to get off
>> her back).
>>
>a former girlfiend had no nipples or navel? and you were tactless enough
>to complain?
Well, she certainly didn't have them on her back.
------------------------------------------------------
Frank Raymond Michaels ("A healthy sex drive, but a poor sense of
direction...")
Megan Knight
Moiner
In article <5bvn4k$q...@news2.i-2000.com>, fra...@i-2000.com (Frank Raymond
Michaels) wrote:
>Well, she certainly didn't have them on her back.
ahhh, the one mutation that could bring ballroom dancing back into style...
Jim (boywundr)
me...@vwv.com (Megan Knight ) said something that went a little like this:
>
>Frank Raymond Michaels wrote:
>>
>> Add that to the fact that she has no nipples or navel, and well, she's
>> just not all that appealing. (Oddly, a former girlfriend of mine had
>> the same problem -- when I'd complain, she'd just tell me to get off
>> her back).
>>
>
>a former girlfiend had no nipples or navel? and you were tactless enough
>to complain?
Frank, if another one jumps in the boat like that, you whack it with the paddle
as hard as you can.
Jim "my what a hairy face you have" R.
The Other Man
> >she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
> >
> > Are these measurements correct? What have you read? Or do you
> >care?
>
> Those measurements are not at all impossible, and in fact wouldn't be
> all that attractive, probably; the version I heard was that that her
> measurements would be something like 44-14-36 : a true wasp-waist.
>
I heard somewhere that if Barbie were human - she would be suffering
from malnutrition.
The Other Man
The Other Man
Frank Raymond Michaels wrote:
>
> Add that to the fact that she has no nipples or navel, and well, she's
> just not all that appealing. (Oddly, a former girlfriend of mine had
> the same problem -- when I'd complain, she'd just tell me to get off
> her back).
>
seventies or sometime (apparently it's worth heaps if you know anyone
who has one). They took it off the market for reasons I'm not really
sure of, but I think it may have something to do with obscenity laws
around in that time.
> However, I must admit that Dominatrix Barbie looks quite cute in her
> leather-and-razorwire panties.
>
I still want to check out the recently released 'Feral Barbie'. I wonder
if she's got hairy armpits & legs & no bikini line.
The Other Man
"Wherever you go - there you are."
-Buckaroo Banzai
Simon Slavin
In article <32fb28e9....@news1.radix.net>,
ph...@radix.net (Philo) wrote:
> I'm confused (and sheltered, I guess). Wearing a cock ring as a
> *necklace* would seem to necessitate either a very, very large cock, a
> very, very small neck, or something in between.
They're worn on a chain around the neck in public ... as a sign that
you use one in private. Much like wedding-rings. While cock-rings are
nowhere near as popular in the UK as they are in some sections of the
States, I know a couple of club nights at which I'd expect to see some.
Simon "Rare funk ball tool." Slavin.
MKScribe
> r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
>
> >were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
> >she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
A couple of years ago, Phil Donahue hosted a show centered around Barbie
and as a hapless audience member (how else to get out of a day's work) I
had to suffer through "important" questions posed by audience members
such as "how can my child keep barbie's shoes on?" Finally disgusted, I
voiced my "dimension" concerns directly to Mattel's Marketing Vice
President (a woman in a Disney-pink suit whose saccharin smile you
couldn't take off with turpentine). Aside from my concerns about affecting
the young girls' perceptions, she routinely blew off my comments that at
those proportions, Barbie would have over a 40" chest ( I do believe
reading somewhere that it's even closer to 50"). I pressed on, (Donahue
liked that, he was bored to death) and her smile faded. She "choked" and
began talking about Fashion Avenue Barbie. I asked her when there would
be a "District Attorney Barbie." No answer. At the end of the show (I
actually had more air time than the other guests--of which included a
woman who dressed her husband up as Ken) I was pacified with an African
American Desert Storm Barbie as a token of the marketing dingbat's "good
will." I refused to accept it telling her I don't think I'd trust a
soldier in perfect make-up.
MKScribe
"But can it core a apple?"
Katja Biesanz
Regarding Barbie's height: one way of estimating height is in regard to head
size. Some fashion drawings, if figured to have an average size head, would
be nine feet tall.
Moiner
In article <19970122063...@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
mksc...@aol.com (MKScribe) wrote:
>> r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
>>
>> >were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
>> >she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
>> >size breasts, [24] inch waist and 36 inch hips.
>
>A couple of years ago, Phil Donahue hosted a show centered around Barbie
>and as a hapless audience member (how else to get out of a day's work) I
>had to suffer through "important" questions posed by audience members
>such as "how can my child keep barbie's shoes on?" Finally disgusted, I
>voiced my "dimension" concerns directly to Mattel's Marketing Vice
>President (a woman in a Disney-pink suit whose saccharin smile you
>couldn't take off with turpentine). Aside from my concerns about affecting
>the young girls' perceptions, she routinely blew off my comments that at
>those proportions, Barbie would have over a 40" chest ( I do believe
>reading somewhere that it's even closer to 50").
aw, hell, go for 60". Don't let little things like checking your facts stop
you...
I pressed on, (Donahue
>liked that, he was bored to death) and her smile faded. She "choked" and
>began talking about Fashion Avenue Barbie. I asked her when there would
>be a "District Attorney Barbie." No answer. At the end of the show (I
>actually had more air time than the other guests--of which included a
>woman who dressed her husband up as Ken) I was pacified with an African
>American Desert Storm Barbie as a token of the marketing dingbat's "good
>will." I refused to accept it telling her I don't think I'd trust a
>soldier in perfect make-up.
Indignation Junkies.
Ain't they cute?
Larry Kubicz
Megan Knight wrote:
>Frank Raymond Michaels wrote:
>> Add that to the fact that she has no nipples or navel, and well, she's
>> just not all that appealing. (Oddly, a former girlfriend of mine had
>> the same problem -- when I'd complain, she'd just tell me to get off
>> her back).
>a former girlfiend had no nipples or navel? and you were tactless enough
>to complain?
I'm sure this was unintentional, Frank. Sometimes they just jump right
in the boat.
Larry "If it's an issue, always check for eye contact." Kubicz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Larry Kubicz | It's either copulate till you flip genders, or
Denver, CO USA | drink yourself to death on beer bait.
lku...@earthlink.net | --Rich Clancey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Susan C. Mitchell
The Other Man <theot...@somplace.com> wrote:
: Frank Raymond Michaels wrote:
: >
: > Add that to the fact that she has no nipples or navel, and well, she's
: > just not all that appealing. (Oddly, a former girlfriend of mine had
: > the same problem -- when I'd complain, she'd just tell me to get off
: > her back).
: I hear that there actually was a 'Belly Button Barbie' around in the
: seventies or sometime (apparently it's worth heaps if you know anyone
: who has one). They took it off the market for reasons I'm not really
: sure of, but I think it may have something to do with obscenity laws
: around in that time.
You may be thinking of the Happy To Be Me doll, which had collarbones,
nipples and a navel. This doll was marketed in the mid-1980s, and was a
resounding market failure for reasons having nothing to do with obscenity
lows; it was poorly manufactured of low-quality materials.
: > However, I must admit that Dominatrix Barbie looks quite cute in her
: > leather-and-razorwire panties.
: >
: I still want to check out the recently released 'Feral Barbie'. I wonder
: if she's got hairy armpits & legs & no bikini line.
From Zoli Nazaari-Uebele's "Plastic Princess Page"
(http://d.armory.com/~zenugirl/cheryl.html):
<begin included text>
Doesn't she sound like a living doll?
_________________________________________________________________
reprinted from The San Jose Mercury News Friday May 19, 1995
_________________________________________________________________
Sorry, folks, but this column today does have a bit of a foreign
flavor to it. From Australia comes this gem:
Move over, Barbie: Here comes the Feral Cheryl doll - complete with
tattoos, unshaven legs, pierced nipples, feathers, pubic hair and
dreadlocks. Feral Cheryl's maker, Lee Duncan, says the teen-age doll
was designed for alternative Australian lifestylers who did not relate
to the clean, puritan Barbie image.
"It started as a bit of a joke," Duncan said Thursday from Lismore, a
rural town in northern New South Wales state. "I was playing iwth my
niece, who is into Barbies, and said this is irrelevant. Nobody looks
like Barbie. So I made a feral doll," she said.
Feral Cheryls sell for a alittle over $7 each. Duncan said curiosity
about Ferlay Cheril was high but this had not yet translated into hard
sales.
<end of included text>
I don't think we're going to be running across these in Toys Ya Us any
time soon ... more's the pity.
Think globally, act locally.
Susan
--
Bo Lawler
Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
>Stephan Zielinski <szie...@pbi.net> wrote:
>
>>Cock rings exploded (ouch!) - as vest zipper pulls, as key rings, as
>>bracelets; rubber ones, leather ones, chain mail. But the thick
>>chrome variety, the Classic Coke of cock rings, was and is most often
>>worn as a necklace. Chrome cock ring necklaces became de rigeur rave
>>wear. For about a year, every gay boy at a rave was wearing at least
>>one - these cock rings were often pressed into service later in the
>>evening, to help totally tweaked raver keep up what the X was pulling
>>down.
>
>*necklace* would seem to necessitate either a very, very large cock, a
>very, very small neck, or something in between.
>
>"pendant" or "charm"? And which does Ken have? A scale ring *on* a
>necklace, or a lifesize ring *as* a necklace?
Requoting the article:
But an important part of Earring Magic Ken's new wardrobe has been
overlooked by the straight media - Ken's cock ring. Hanging around
Ken's neck, on a metallic silver thread, is what ten out of ten fags
at a glance will tell you is a cock ring.
The pictures accompanying the article make it a little clearer: they're
usually worn on a chain and hang down, sorta medallion-like. In Magic
Ken's case, the cock ring is to scale with the reset of him. If he
was to scale in that respect, of course.
I always have wondered how they size those things. Do you walk up to
the counter in the local sex-toy store and ask for a certain diameter,
do the just have S, M, L, XL, etc, or some even weirder scale like
hat size?
Bo "where's the undressing room?" Lawler
Kathryn Engelhardt
> Doesn't she sound like a living doll?
Awhile ago I saw a woman on television who was changing her body
physically to look like Barbie. She actually had bones broken in her face
and reshaped to look like Barbie's face, her nose was redone, and of
course she had blonde hair in a "Barbie" style. As I remember, this person
was working not only on her face but her legs, feet, hands, everything.
She indeed looked very much like the doll.
Has anyone else heard about this person?
-Kathryn "Happy to be Me" Engelhardt
Jeff Talley
Yes, She's on the radio in England somewhere...
The bad thing about her is that when they show her before photos.
She doesn't really look that different...
Outt..
Jeff.
Sho Nakagama
In article <Pine.SUN.3.95L.97012...@bonjour.cc.columbia.edu>, Kathryn Engelhardt wrote:
>
>
>> Doesn't she sound like a living doll?
>
>
>Awhile ago I saw a woman on television who was changing her body
>physically to look like Barbie.
Actually, as a note, the "actress" who portrayed Barbie in the original
run of Barbie Live on Stage on London had formerly been male, and had
gotten a sex change. They had a pretty interesting interview with her a
while back.
--
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Imagine, a cloth such conviction to keep you warm in a winter storm
Imagine darkness in the day and nighttime simply falls away
I'm just a time machine, not young, not old
I'm about halfway between a sleep and a sleep"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
GBH(tm) [your secret society ad here] KoX ARSCC
Lizz Braver
In article <5cfse1$n...@nntp1.ba.best.com>, bmik...@shell2.ba.best.com
says...
> But guess what else? Ms Jackson is not all that thrilled with
> it. Her definition of power seems to revolve around reducing
> men to the consistency of jellied consomme.
>
>
So, whose isn't?
Lizz "But all I get is noodle soup" Braver
Larry Kubicz
Simon Slavin wrote:
>ph...@radix.net (Philo) wrote:
>> I'm confused (and sheltered, I guess). Wearing a cock ring as a
>> *necklace* would seem to necessitate either a very, very large cock, a
>> very, very small neck, or something in between.
>They're worn on a chain around the neck in public ... as a sign that
>you use one in private. Much like wedding-rings.
Er...how, exactly, does one use a wedding ring in private?
Larry "Something tells me I've just provided a straight line for Barbara" Kubicz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Larry Kubicz | To paraphrase Duckman 'You sound like a man
Denver, CO USA | who can handle himself in bed. And often does.'
lku...@earthlink.net | --Bob Church
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://home.earthlink.net/~lkubicz/lkhome.htm
Barbara Mikkelson
Larry Kubicz (lku...@earthlink.net) wrote:
>> They're worn on a chain around the neck in public ... as a sign that
>> you use one in private. Much like wedding-rings.
>
> Er...how, exactly, does one use a wedding ring in private?
En passant as a pawn. Avoid castling on the king's side until it's back
out of hock.
> Larry "Something tells me I've just provided a straight line for
> Barbara" Kubicz
Barbara "I am but a rook on the chessboard of life" Mikkelson
--
Barbara Mikkelson | Your mousse is clearly salmon.
bmik...@best.com | - Lee Rudolph
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
View a random urban legend --> http://www.snopes.com/cgi/randomul.cgi
Charles Lieberman
Larry Kubicz (lku...@earthlink.net) wrote:
| >They're worn on a chain around the neck in public ... as a sign that
| >you use one in private. Much like wedding-rings.
| Er...how, exactly, does one use a wedding ring in private?
Haven't you ever read _Skinny_Legs_and_All_?
--
Charles A. Lieberman http://members.tripod.com/~calieber/index.htm
Brooklyn, New York, USA
"Well I have walked/Over miles/And under a stone wall/Across the fields
of snow"--For Squirrels
Maggie Newman
In article <5cls9d$s...@news.bu.edu>, Charles Lieberman <cali...@bu.edu> wrote:
>
>Haven't you ever read _Skinny_Legs_and_All_?
>
Maggie "what's the ISBN number?" Newman
--
"I used to be troubled
But I finally saw the light
Now I don't worry 'bout a thing
Cause I know nothin's going to be all right"
M. Allison
LaMaia Cramer
>r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
>>were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
>>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
>I've never understood how they get the 6' height. I woulda thought
>that while scaling the doll up to life size, the height is how you
>know when to stop (IOW, make her 5'8, and multiply the rest of the
>measurements to match).
The height is determined by making her head the same size as
a normal woman's head.
-LaMaia
Ülo Melton
lam...@unm.edu (LaMaia Cramer) wrote:
>The height is determined by making her head the same size as
>a normal woman's head.
I thought this thread was long extinct. In other words, you're a day
late and a dolly short.
Ülo Melton
Heimlich the Doberman is begging me not to hit the "send" key. Stupid
mutt, what does he know about humor?
Nicole
lam...@unm.edu (LaMaia Cramer) wrote:
>>r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
>>>were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
>>>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
>>>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
>Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
>>I've never understood how they get the 6' height. I woulda thought
>>that while scaling the doll up to life size, the height is how you
>>know when to stop (IOW, make her 5'8, and multiply the rest of the
>>measurements to match).
>The height is determined by making her head the same size as
>a normal woman's head.
>-LaMaia
I thinnk that you are right about the measurements, except that her
waist would be, like 14 inches, not 34!
bus...@nojunkmailbigger.com
In article <E71wI...@serval.net.wsu.edu>, <Nicole> wrote:
>lam...@unm.edu (LaMaia Cramer) wrote:
>
>>>r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
>>>>were real,instead of flesh colored plastic. Some have said that if
>>>>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
>>>>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
>
>>Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
>>>I've never understood how they get the 6' height. I woulda thought
>>>that while scaling the doll up to life size, the height is how you
>>>know when to stop (IOW, make her 5'8, and multiply the rest of the
>>>measurements to match).
>
>>The height is determined by making her head the same size as
>>a normal woman's head.
Now I see where the problem is. What is a "normal woman"? Do you
mean "normal for a woman" or "normal for a human"?
>I thinnk that you are right about the measurements, except that her
>waist would be, like 14 inches, not 34!
It's a known fact that women with small waists usually have big heads
(or at least, big hair).
Dave "Men are from Mars" Bushong
--
Dave Bushong
bus...@bigger.com
Feliz Dzerzhanova
LaMaia Cramer wrote:
>
> >r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
> >>Some have said that if
> >>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
> >>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
>
> Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
BEGIN MALE-PIG SIGNED SPEECH:
i had always thought barbie doll would have a 38" chest, dd cup size,
18" waist and 36" hips, if she were a real woman.
at the risk of offending all of the women and lesbians on this group,
she *is* my kind of woman!
END MALE-PIG SIGNED SPEECH!
robert 'don't you just love it, when they talk dirty?' rudzki
--
to answer: rudzki at pacbell dot net
"We strongly believe in sensible, rational and effective gun control
laws, and proudly declare this household to be totally gun-free."
"We also believe 'so-called criminals' are just troubled, misunderstood
people searching for peace, happiness and a work-free lifestyle, which
might involve beating, robbing and killing you. Don't make it hard for
them by owning and using the destructive semi-automatic weapons of
violence called guns."
Mike Czaplinski
Feliz Dzerzhanova <White...@Cellars.with.big.drains> wrote:
>
> LaMaia Cramer wrote:
> >
> > >r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
> > >>Some have said that if
> > >>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
> > >>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
> >
> > Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
>
> BEGIN MALE-PIG SIGNED SPEECH:
>
> i had always thought barbie doll would have a 38" chest, dd cup size,
> 18" waist and 36" hips, if she were a real woman.
FWIW: These are about the proportions I've heard.
> at the risk of offending all of the women and lesbians on this group,
> she *is* my kind of woman!
Hey, I know quite a few lesbians who'd agree with you, even withal.
Mike "And don't even get me STARTED about those HEELS.." Czaplinski
mike.cz...@washingtondc.ncr.com
Bo Bradham
LaMaia Cramer <lam...@unm.edu> wrote:
>>r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
>>>Some have said that if
>>>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
>>>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
>
>Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
>>that while scaling the doll up to life size, the height is how you
>>know when to stop (IOW, make her 5'8, and multiply the rest of the
>>measurements to match).
>
>The height is determined by making her head the same size as
>a normal woman's head.
Here's an update from the newsroom:
In today's Washington Post, columnist Judy Mann says "Elaine Pedersen,
an associate professor at Oregon State University, was the first to
show how distorted Barbie's figure is when she calculated that if
Barbie were 5 feet 5 inches tall, her measurements would 31-17-28."
I dispatched my trusty research assistant (who has succeeded in
closing down the 24-hour all-you-can-eat place across the street.
Their offical response was that they were "under-capitalized").
This is what has turned up so far:
: Hinds, Julie
: Valley of the Dolls
: Detroit News
: Aug 19, 1991
: Cathy Meredig has created a new doll called "Happy to Be Me"
that is similar to a Barbie doll but has more realistic and
true-to-life features than Barbie does. For example, the
Happy to Be Me doll's measurements translate to 36-27-38 in
real-life while Barbie's translate to 36-18-33.
: Brownell, Kelly D; Napolitano, Melissa A
: Distorting reality for children: Body size proportions of
Barbie and Ken dolls
: International Journal of Eating Disorders
: Nov 1995
: Using hip measurements as a constant, calculations were made
to determine the changes necessary for a young, healthy adult
woman and man to attain the same body proportions as Barbie
and Ken dolls, respectively.
So that one tells how they did it (hip measurements) but you'll have
to dig up the article to see the answers they got.
I, er, my research assistant was unable to find anything by or
about "Elaine Pedersen." But I've been hearing these "Barbie's
measurements" factoids for a long time, so if Pedersen truly was
"the first" to expose this outrage, it would've been quite some
time ago.
Bo Bradham
--
"If it's their mistake, tough. If it's our mistake we negotiate."
- Overheard
David B. Greene
Feliz Dzerzhanova <White...@Cellars.with.big.drains> says:
>> >>Some have said that if
>> >>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
>> >>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
>>
>> Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
>
>BEGIN MALE-PIG SIGNED SPEECH:
>
>i had always thought barbie doll would have a 38" chest, dd cup size,
>18" waist and 36" hips, if she were a real woman.
Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
Dave Greene
Chris Hayes
As Smiler Sheridan accelrated out of the corner, and passed "David B.
Greene" <da...@halcyon.antispam.com> on the long straight, he switched
on the inter-cockpit mike and heard...
>
>Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
>be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
>
British fanny?
Chris 'I guess it's the least funny of the two, or she's got an
interesting second career' Hayes
Terry Smith
> From: Feliz Dzerzhanova <White...@Cellars.with.big.drains>
> Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
No. You did.
FD> BEGIN MALE-PIG SIGNED SPEECH:
Is this the current topic in rec.org.mensa?
I just wanted to tell you you won't like it where you are. Don't reply.
Terry
--
|Fidonet: Terry Smith 3:800/846.23
|Internet: Te...@gastro.apana.org.au
|
| Standard disclaimer: The views of this user are strictly his own.
wenchpoet
David B. Greene <da...@halcyon.antispam.com> wrote in article
<1997Mar20....@atl.com>...
>
> Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
> be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
actually, she would have never lived to 40. She would have died from
suffocation long ago.
Madeleine Page
David B. Greene managed a subjunctive but then affected ersatz
down-home dialect:
: Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
: be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
I beg your pardon?
And why is this silliness being sent to five newsgroups?
Madeleine "newsgroups and everything else *quite* trim, thankyouverymuch"
Page
--
NOSFERATU
David B. Greene wrote:
>
> Feliz Dzerzhanova <White...@Cellars.with.big.drains> says:
> >LaMaia Cramer wrote:
> >> >r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
>
> >> >>Some have said that if
> >> >>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
> >> >>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
> >>
> >> Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
> >
> >BEGIN MALE-PIG SIGNED SPEECH:
> >
> >i had always thought barbie doll would have a 38" chest, dd cup size,
> >18" waist and 36" hips, if she were a real woman.
>
> be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
>
--
The bitch would also have an 18" neck. Also watch out for "X-files
Barbie" this x-mas season. What's next, "Millenium Ken?"
Justinian
On 21 Mar 1997, wenchpoet wrote:
> David B. Greene <da...@halcyon.antispam.com> wrote in article
> <1997Mar20....@atl.com>...
> >
> > Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
> > be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
>
> actually, she would have never lived to 40. She would have died from
> suffocation long ago.
suffocation? more likely anorexia, bulimia...
Cheng-Jih Chen
In article <33321A...@SOVER.NET>, NOSFERATU <BR...@SOVER.NET> wrote:
>
>Also watch out for "X-files
>Barbie" this x-mas season. What's next, "Millenium Ken?"
X-Files Barbie: "Conspiracies are hard!"
Millenium Ken: comes in four pieces! (Head not included)
E.M. Anzalone
In article <1997Mar20....@atl.com>,
David B. Greene <da...@halcyon.antispam.com> wrote:
>Feliz Dzerzhanova <White...@Cellars.with.big.drains> says:
>>LaMaia Cramer wrote:
>>> >r.sw...@hotmail.com ( R.Swenson) wrote:
>
>>> >>Some have said that if
>>> >>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
>>> >>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
>>>
>>> Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
>>
>>BEGIN MALE-PIG SIGNED SPEECH:
>>
>>i had always thought barbie doll would have a 38" chest, dd cup size,
>>18" waist and 36" hips, if she were a real woman.
>
>be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
>
Not a chance. The only thing Barbie ever really had going for her
were her looks, and I doubt very much she'd have let those slide.
Having never lacked for any of life's luxuries (where _does_ she
get her money anyway???), chances are that Barbie would have been
liposucked and lifted, siliconed or salined, with the end result
being that, at 40, she'd be just as pert and plasticky as she was
the day you first laid eyes on her.
-E.M. Anzalone
Kim
>Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
>be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
-- Kim (who at 40 *still* wears a size 4)
Elisabeth Orr
NOSFERATU wrote:
>
>( R.Swenson) wrote:
> >
> > >> >>Some have said that if
> > >> >>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
> > >> >>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
> > >>
> > >> Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
> > >
> > >BEGIN MALE-PIG SIGNED SPEECH:
> > >
> > >i had always thought barbie doll would have a 38" chest, dd cup size,
> > >18" waist and 36" hips, if she were a real woman.
>
> --
> The bitch would also have an 18" neck. Also watch out for "X-files
> Barbie" this x-mas season. What's next, "Millenium Ken?"
Please, someone tell me he's kidding so I don't have to kill
myself.....I mean, what would she wear, a black suit & a trench coat? Do
the accessories include an "alien implant" to put under the plastic on
her neck?
Peace,
Elisabeth
--
"Ideology is something that all of us live." - Veronica de Negri
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Elisabeth Orr - moving in at http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/1388
the reverse-psychology major
In article <3332C4...@wam.umd.edu>,
Elisabeth Orr <ej...@wam.umd.edu> wrote:
>NOSFERATU wrote:
>>
>>( R.Swenson) wrote:
>> >
>> > >> >>Some have said that if
>> > >> >>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
>> > >> >>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
>> > >>
>> > >> Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
>> > >
>> > >BEGIN MALE-PIG SIGNED SPEECH:
>> > >
>> > >i had always thought barbie doll would have a 38" chest, dd cup size,
>> > >18" waist and 36" hips, if she were a real woman.
>
>>
>> --
>> The bitch would also have an 18" neck. Also watch out for "X-files
>> Barbie" this x-mas season. What's next, "Millenium Ken?"
>
you all seem obsessed with her ass [no problen there] but what abt her
breasts? the once perky 36 d's would be hanging down to her knees unless
, of coursed, she borrowed that wrinkle cream from yong-mi dong.
beelzibub
ps
i like that
--
this is my .sig. it's one of the best .sigs on the 'net'. i know what
you're thinking: 'did he post 5 or 6 articles'? to tell you the truth i
kinda lost track myself. so you gotta ask yourself one question: 'have
you mamorized it yet?' huh, have you punk? go for it. make my bed.
Mao Tse-Tung
Virginia Krenn wrote:
>
> On 23 Mar 1997, Powdered TOAST Man wrote:
> > Kim (2132...@msu.edu) wrote:
>
> >:> Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
> >:> be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
>
> Circumference.
Amplitude!
Powdered TOAST Man
Kim (2132...@msu.edu) wrote:
: >Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
: >be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
Umm, "fanny" means something completely different here in .au and also
in England. Hmmm, 50 inch, is that width, height or depth ?
regards,
--
Powdered TOAST Man CR-ELM:s303...@mpce.mq.edu.au
H-URL:http://www.geocities.com/WallStreet/6431
Chews Fun !
Chews *New* Chicken and Caffeine CUD !
Virginia Krenn
On 23 Mar 1997, Powdered TOAST Man wrote:
>:> Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
>:> be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
> Hmmm, 50 inch, is that width, height or depth ?
Circumference.
Rich Lafferty
On 21 Mar 1997, Cheng-Jih Chen wrote:
> In article <33321A...@SOVER.NET>, NOSFERATU <BR...@SOVER.NET> wrote:
> >
> >Also watch out for "X-files
> >Barbie" this x-mas season. What's next, "Millenium Ken?"
>
> X-Files Barbie: "Conspiracies are hard!"
Just to let you know, there appears to be a problem with your newsreader.
It seems the headers are getting interspersed with the body text.
HTH.
-Rich "X-Get-A-Real-Newsreader: <blink>" Lafferty
the reverse-psychology major
In article <3334DE...@worldnet.att.net>,
Mao Tse-Tung <cd...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
... blowjob!!!
beelzibub
ps;
just my $.02 worth
JEL
Mao Tse-Tung wrote:
>
> Virginia Krenn wrote:
> >
> > On 23 Mar 1997, Powdered TOAST Man wrote:
> > > Kim (2132...@msu.edu) wrote:
> >
> > >:> Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
> > >:> be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
> > > Hmmm, 50 inch, is that width, height or depth ?
> >
> > Circumference.
>
> Amplitude!
Most of the 50 year old women I know are better looking than the
anorexic 20 year olds who have succumbed to the body image advertising
in redbook or cosmo; the very same ones who spend 2 hours a day sticking
their fingers down their throats hoping that they eventually have the
same body proportions as female refugees from Ethiopia during a very bad
drought year.
And remember what that great founding father of this country, Ben
Franklin, said about older women. When he was the ambassador to the
French Court, someone once asked him why he spent so much of his time
with the older women rather than chasing the beautiful younger ones. He
smiled and said that older women are so much more experienced, they
don't gossip about what they do or what their male "friends" do or don't
do, and they are so, so, so much more grateful in the morning. So take
my advice and stop knocking older women. From practical experience, I
discovered that the great kite flier really did know how to fly high.
Ben Clifford
JEL wrote:
> older women are so much more experienced, they
> don't gossip about what they do or what their male "friends" do or don't
> do, and they are so, so, so much more grateful in the morning. So take
> my advice and stop knocking older women.
Or maybe start?
ben ("WElcome to jamaica, i hope you enjoy your staY")
--
http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Lakes/7456
PGP be...@dass.prestel.co.uk on above site or key-servers;
Ben's constant: "the product of the information content of
a web site and the number of non-standard trivial features
used in that web site is a constant."
mariguana
Elisabeth Orr wrote:
>
> NOSFERATU wrote:
> >
> >( R.Swenson) wrote:
> > >
> > > >> >>Some have said that if
> > > >> >>she were a real woman ,Barbie would be six feet tall and have 37D cup
> > > >> >>size breasts, 34 inch waist and 36 inch hips.
> > > >>
> > > >> Philo <ph...@radix.net> wrote:
> > > >
> > > >BEGIN MALE-PIG SIGNED SPEECH:
> > > >
> > > >i had always thought barbie doll would have a 38" chest, dd cup size,
> > > >18" waist and 36" hips, if she were a real woman.
>
> >
> > --
> > Barbie" this x-mas season. What's next, "Millenium Ken?"
>
> myself.....I mean, what would she wear, a black suit & a trench coat? Do
> the accessories include an "alien implant" to put under the plastic on
> her neck?
>
> Peace,
> Elisabeth
>
> --
>
> "Ideology is something that all of us live." - Veronica de Negri
> *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
> Elisabeth Orr - moving in at http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Lofts/1388
Actually Playboy has stated that the breast mesurement would be 44dd if
figured on human perportions.
Mao Tse-Tung
JEL wrote:
>
> Mao Tse-Tung wrote:
> >
> > Virginia Krenn wrote:
> > >
> > > On 23 Mar 1997, Powdered TOAST Man wrote:
> > > > Kim (2132...@msu.edu) wrote:
> > >
> > > >:> Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
> > > >:> be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
> > > > Hmmm, 50 inch, is that width, height or depth ?
> > >
> > > Circumference.
> >
> > Amplitude!
>
> Most of the 50 year old women I know are better looking than the
> anorexic 20 year olds who have succumbed to the body image advertising
> in redbook or cosmo; the very same ones who spend 2 hours a day sticking
> their fingers down their throats hoping that they eventually have the
> same body proportions as female refugees from Ethiopia during a very bad
> drought year.
I doubt it's the advertising, the damned little starving twigs are
trying to maek themselves sterile so we won't be overpopulated.
Although, I have seen my share of 50 year old women, and I'd hate to say
they look all that appealing, considering you're comparing them to
people 30 years younger and yet old enough to own firearms in all 52
states... Not ALL of them are thin little snappable vegetarian bullemic
sandal-wearers, though, especially as you move toward the center of the
U.S...
> And remember what that great founding father of this country, Ben
> Franklin, said about older women. When he was the ambassador to the
I'll have to take your word on that one...
mig
"Older women are best, because they always think they may be doing it
for the last time." - Ian Fleming
saludos, mig
------
"Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed." Erica Jong
-----
m...@satlink.com
Mike Czaplinski
2132...@msu.edu (Kim) wrote:
>
> >Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
> >be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
>
>
> -- Kim (who at 40 *still* wears a size 4)
You may be sorry about posting that.
I know many women who have standing contracts out on perfect specimens
such as you....;-)
Mike "But, I'll shield your body with mine....do you like hot tubs?"
Czaplinski
mike.cz...@washingtondc.ncr.com
Thomas C. Clancy
In article <E7K7E...@ranger.daytonoh.ncr.com>,
Mike Czaplinski <mike.cz...@washingtondc.ncr.com> wrote:
>2132...@msu.edu (Kim) wrote:
>>
>> >Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
>> >be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
>>
>> AHEM!
>>
>> -- Kim (who at 40 *still* wears a size 4)
>
>You may be sorry about posting that.
>
>I know many women who have standing contracts out on perfect specimens
>such as you....;-)
These days, they just go get the surgeon to suck it out,
pick it up or cut it loose.
Gary Zimmerman
>Most of the 50 year old women I know are better looking than the
>anorexic 20 year olds who have succumbed to the body image advertising
>in redbook or cosmo; the very same ones who spend 2 hours a day sticking
>their fingers down their throats hoping that they eventually have the
>same body proportions as female refugees from Ethiopia during a very bad
>drought year.
>
>And remember what that great founding father of this country, Ben
>Franklin, said about older women. When he was the ambassador to the
>French Court, someone once asked him why he spent so much of his time
>with the older women rather than chasing the beautiful younger ones. He
>smiled and said that older women are so much more experienced, they
>don't gossip about what they do or what their male "friends" do or don't
>do, and they are so, so, so much more grateful in the morning. So take
>my advice and stop knocking older women. From practical experience, I
>discovered that the great kite flier really did know how to fly high.
Paraphrased in an old blues tune as
They don't swell
They don't tell
and they're greatrul as hell.
Now if I could just recall who sang this.
--
Gary W. Zimmerman
Rick Tyler
On 24 Mar 1997 14:05:42 -0600, cmi...@hpcf.cc.utexas.edu (Thomas C.
Clancy) wrote:
:In article <E7K7E...@ranger.daytonoh.ncr.com>,
:Mike Czaplinski <mike.cz...@washingtondc.ncr.com> wrote:
:>2132...@msu.edu (Kim) wrote:
<snip, suck, tuck>
:>> AHEM!
:>>
:>> -- Kim (who at 40 *still* wears a size 4)
:>
:>You may be sorry about posting that.
:>
:>I know many women who have standing contracts out on perfect specimens
:>such as you....;-)
:
:These days, they just go get the surgeon to suck it out,
:pick it up or cut it loose.
:
What do you mean "they," male-person? Some of the procedures men are
requesting are facelifting, eyelid tightening (blepharoplasty), male
breast reduction (gynecomastia), liposuction, hair transplantation,
otoplasty (ear pinback), and the ever-popular penile enlargement.
My guess is that very few women are requesting the last item on that
list.
-- Rick "Sagged, bagged, and dragged, just as nature intended" Tyler
----------------------------------
"I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of reasoning."
-- Plato
Thomas C. Clancy
In article <3336e579....@news.concentric.net>,
Rick Tyler <rty...@concentric.net> wrote:
>On 24 Mar 1997 14:05:42 -0600, cmi...@hpcf.cc.utexas.edu (Thomas C.
>Clancy) wrote:
>
>:In article <E7K7E...@ranger.daytonoh.ncr.com>,
>:Mike Czaplinski <mike.cz...@washingtondc.ncr.com> wrote:
>:>2132...@msu.edu (Kim) wrote:
><snip, suck, tuck>
>:>> AHEM!
>:>>
>:>> -- Kim (who at 40 *still* wears a size 4)
>:>
>:>You may be sorry about posting that.
>:>
>:>I know many women who have standing contracts out on perfect specimens
>:>such as you....;-)
>:
>:These days, they just go get the surgeon to suck it out,
>:pick it up or cut it loose.
>:
>What do you mean "they," male-person? Some of the procedures men are
>requesting are facelifting, eyelid tightening (blepharoplasty), male
>breast reduction (gynecomastia), liposuction, hair transplantation,
>otoplasty (ear pinback), and the ever-popular penile enlargement.
>
>My guess is that very few women are requesting the last item on that
>list.
You mean for themself?
Lon Stowell
In article <5h70iq$l...@nr1.toronto.istar.net>,
Diana <di...@execulink.com> wrote:
>
>Sadly I would have to agree with you on this. I think Helen Gurley
>Brown (ex-editor of Cosmo) is a classic example of "you are what you
>write". This woman has perpetuated a myth that "you can never be too
>thin." And she is living proof as she looks like a starving Biafrian.
>She once wrote that her husband likes her thin... So much for
>independent thinking for women.
The amazing thing is that during all those years of marriage
she never complained about her husband's quaint practice of
grabbing her by the feet and spearing olives from a jar with
her head.
Thomas C. Clancy
>> anorexic 20 year olds who have succumbed to the body image advertising
>> in redbook or cosmo;
>
>Brown (ex-editor of Cosmo) is a classic example of "you are what you
>write". This woman has perpetuated a myth that "you can never be too
>thin." And she is living proof as she looks like a starving Biafrian.
>She once wrote that her husband likes her thin... So much for
>independent thinking for women.
>
I have seen photos of extremely low fat women in magazines.
Running magazines, that is. Long distance runners. Apparently,
from what I've read people can get so low fat that they lose
fat in their faces. One article showed plastic surgery to remedy
the problem. Apparently the face sort of distorts and the skin
wrinkles. A very unattractived thinness.
(This is stuff I've seen in ordinary popular running/health
magazines in public libraries.)
But, I guess that's a whole other pile of obsession.
Glen G. Walker
In article <3336e579....@news.concentric.net>,
Rick Tyler <rty...@concentric.net> wrote:
>requesting are facelifting, eyelid tightening (blepharoplasty), male
>breast reduction (gynecomastia), liposuction, hair transplantation,
If I remember correctly, wasn't gynecomastia the growth of breasts on men,
as seen in middle-aged scizophrenic men on clorpromazine?
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Glen G. Walker, coy...@primenet.com
www.primenet.com/~coyotl
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guy Daugherty
> :These days, they just go get the surgeon to suck it out,
> :pick it up or cut it loose.
> :
> What do you mean "they," male-person? Some of the procedures men are
Yeah, whoever did Peter Jennings should be shot.
> breast reduction (gynecomastia), liposuction, hair transplantation,
> otoplasty (ear pinback), and the ever-popular penile enlargement.
>
> My guess is that very few women are requesting the last item on that
> list.
Oh contrail: if it were being done for _men_, we'd just
have our hands reduced.
Guy "no need for an addadictomy" Daugherty.
JPenguin
[snip of endless pontification]
> ...otoplasty (ear pinback), and the ever-popular penile enlargement.
>
> My guess is that very few women are requesting the last item on that
> list.
Rick, is this another one of those "It not the size, its how its used
posts?" You are quite lucky that the women of a.t are so reserved. In
other groups, such as alt.sex.young.boys, you would have been flamed
into submission.
Cheers size king,
JPenguin
obSize: *A Stiff Drink* - Coca Cola had to fix an embarrassing typo in
the word "disk" in copyright information on about 2 million 12-packs of
the drink.
In the misprint, the "s" is replaced by a "c" resulting in the phrase
"red dick icon". The error appeared on boxes of Olympic promotional
packages of Coca Cola Classic distributed in the Atlanta area. - from
wire service stories, 7/96
--
Paul McManus <jpen...@earthlink.net>
A hard man is good to find - a variety of women and some others.
JPenguin
Diana wrote:
>
> I think Helen Gurley Brown (ex-editor of Cosmo) is a classic example
> of "you are what you write". This woman has perpetuated a myth that
> "you can never be too thin." And she is living proof as she looks > like a starving Biafrian.
Diana, right you are! First time I saw her pic in the mag, I had to
check to make sure it was not a Harvard Lampoon Parody Issue. She
appears to have died several years ago, but no one remembered to tell
her.
--
Paul McManus <jpen...@earthlink.net>
Dieting is a way of starving to death so you can live longer - Anon.
Dave Greene
Mao Tse-Tung <cd...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>JEL wrote:
>> Most of the 50 year old women I know are better looking than the
>> anorexic 20 year olds who have succumbed to the body image advertising
>> in redbook or cosmo; the very same ones who spend 2 hours a day sticking
>> their fingers down their throats hoping that they eventually have the
>> same body proportions as female refugees from Ethiopia during a very bad
>> drought year.
>I doubt it's the advertising, the damned little starving twigs are
>trying to maek themselves sterile so we won't be overpopulated.
>Although, I have seen my share of 50 year old women, and I'd hate to say
>they look all that appealing, considering you're comparing them to
>people 30 years younger and yet old enough to own firearms in all 52
>states... Not ALL of them are thin little snappable vegetarian bullemic
>sandal-wearers, though, especially as you move toward the center of the
>U.S...
So, you like them corn fed midwest hawgs, eh?
Clive D.W. Feather
In article <doczee-2403...@cust108.max2.san-
francisco2.ca.ms.uu.net>, Gary Zimmerman <doc...@earthlink.net> writes
>Paraphrased in an old blues tune as
>
>They don't swell
>They don't tell
>and they're greatrul as hell.
>
>Now if I could just recall who sang this.
Benny Hill
Give me an older woman ev'ry time (ev'ry time)
Give me an older woman ev'ry time
They don't swell and they don't tell
And they're as hot-blooded as hell
Give me an older woman ev'ry time
--
Clive D.W. Feather | Associate Director | Director
Tel: +44 181 371 1138 | Demon Internet Ltd. | CityScape Internet Services Ltd.
Fax: +44 181 371 1150 | <cl...@demon.net> | <cd...@cityscape.co.uk>
Written on my laptop - please reply to the Reply-To address <cl...@demon.net>
Kim
>>> >Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
>>> >be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
>>> -- Kim (who at 40 *still* wears a size 4)
>>You may be sorry about posting that.
>>I know many women who have standing contracts out on perfect specimens
>>such as you....;-)
>pick it up or cut it loose.
Baskin Robbins.
Rick Tyler
On Mon, 24 Mar 1997 20:51:59 GMT, rty...@concentric.net (Rick Tyler)
wrote:
<snip>
:
:My guess is that very few women are requesting the last item on that
:list.
:
<snip again>
I copied the whole section on common male plastic surgery procedures
from the Web page of Dr. Patrick Hudson who has lots of very
impressive professional credentials (to wit, Certified by the American
Board of Plastic Surgery, Fellow of the American College of Surgeons
(FACS), Member of the Royal College of Surgeons, and Licentiate of the
Royal College of Physicians). It is quite likely that he even has a
professorial beard.
I added the one comment about "few women" and that, of course, is the
one that AFUtizens latched onto like lobsters on 3-day corpse. Here
is the version 1.1 of that sentence:
My guess is that very few women are requesting that penile enlargement
be performed on themselves.
(Before all of you drift-overs from "alt.flexsex.is.normal" start in,
please note the clever use of "very few" in the above sentence. I
have received a couple of quite odd e-mails from this posting and my
wife is now concerned for me.)
-- Rick "I was just trying to say that elective plastic surgery is not
just for wimmin" Tyler
Thomas C. Clancy
>
>>I doubt it's the advertising, the damned little starving twigs are
>>trying to maek themselves sterile so we won't be overpopulated.
>>Although, I have seen my share of 50 year old women, and I'd hate to say
>>they look all that appealing, considering you're comparing them to
>>people 30 years younger and yet old enough to own firearms in all 52
>>states... Not ALL of them are thin little snappable vegetarian bullemic
>>sandal-wearers, though, especially as you move toward the center of the
>>U.S...
>
>So, you like them corn fed midwest hawgs, eh?
Like Jenny McCarthy?
Unknown
JPenguin <jpen...@earthlink.net> cost the Net hundreds, if not
thousands of dollars writing in <33376C...@earthlink.net>:
[snip]
>obSize: *A Stiff Drink* - Coca Cola had to fix an embarrassing typo in
>the word "disk" in copyright information on about 2 million 12-packs of
>the drink.
>
>In the misprint, the "s" is replaced by a "c" resulting in the phrase
>"red dick icon". The error appeared on boxes of Olympic promotional
>packages of Coca Cola Classic distributed in the Atlanta area. - from
>wire service stories, 7/96
Phew, Penguin, good thing this wasn't cross-posted to
alt.folklore.urban, where they devour stories like that. Someone might
call upon you to provide more accurate cites and stuff.
Hansje the Frightful
+--- Hans Derycke ---- hderycke at mindspring dot com ---------------------+
Who can forget the Sputnik 13 disaster, when the entire world held its
breath for three days as the capsule slowly filled with pencil shavings.
-- John Simpson, in alt.folklore.urban
G. Mark Stewart
the reverse-psychology major (stu...@world.std.com) wrote:
: In article <3334DE...@worldnet.att.net>,
: Mao Tse-Tung <cd...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
: >Virginia Krenn wrote:
: >>
: >> On 23 Mar 1997, Powdered TOAST Man wrote:
: >> > Kim (2132...@msu.edu) wrote:
: >>
: >> >:> be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
: >>
: >> Circumference.
: >
: >Amplitude!
: ... blowjob!!!
Now you're complicating the three spatial dimensions with the variations of
atmostpheric pressure w/r/t ambient barometric. And there's quite an art
to the orchestration of these variables that's hard to quantify objectively.
Dave Greene
Chris Hayes <Spa...@larrrrrd.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>As Smiler Sheridan accelrated out of the corner, and passed "David B.
>Greene" <da...@halcyon.antispam.com> on the long straight, he switched
>on the inter-cockpit mike and heard...
>>
>>Well Barbie's pushin' 40. If she were a real woman she would probably
>>be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
>>
>Just so's my wires are not crossed here... is that an American or a
>British fanny?
Ho, ho, ho, so that's how you like them over there!
Dave Greene
gm...@grayfox.svs.com (G. Mark Stewart) wrote:
>the reverse-psychology major (stu...@world.std.com) wrote:
>: Mao Tse-Tung <cd...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>: >Virginia Krenn wrote:
>: >>
>: >> On 23 Mar 1997, Powdered TOAST Man wrote:
>: >> > Kim (2132...@msu.edu) wrote:
>: >>
>: >> >:> be packin' a fifty inch fanny by now.
>: >>
>: >> Circumference.
>: >
>: >Amplitude!
>: ... blowjob!!!
>Now you're complicating the three spatial dimensions with the variations of
>atmostpheric pressure w/r/t ambient barometric. And there's quite an art
>to the orchestration of these variables that's hard to quantify objectively.
I'm always surprised by the number of headless, nude Barbie dolls left
lying around. My, we do train them young, don't we.
Dave Greene
Simon Read
As far as dress sizes go, Marilyn Monroe was, I believe, a size 16.
A size 4 dress is very thin, probably 12-year-old girl thin. Assuming
Kim doesn't look like a 12-year-old girl:
A size 4 what? Enquiring minds want to know...
s.read (Simon) at cranfield.ac.uk
Notorious P.I.G.
In article <5h96nl$4ep$2...@brownfox.svs.com> gm...@grayfox.svs.com (G. Mark Stewart) writes:
>Now you're complicating the three spatial dimensions with the variations of
>atmostpheric pressure w/r/t ambient barometric. And there's quite an art
>to the orchestration of these variables that's hard to quantify objectively.
Screw all that tchnical shit, Markie.
What I wanna know is what Steiner's measurements are since they
lopped off its cock.
Vinnie
"...and she *THWACKED!* me around the earhole hissing furiously, "If you _must_
masturbate, use your bloody _fingers_!." The poor woman. Most mothers only have
to tell their kids to wash behind their ears." *Ms .45, in alt.tasteless*