Anal Intercourse Question
Bill Marcum
>Others refused to believe that gays liked to stick live hamsters up in
>there - until they started pulling them out of injured queers.
And exactly when and where did this happen? Do you have any names or dates?
Newspaper articles (other than the Weakly Weird News)?
Marc Wiles
Actually, insertion of small animals does occur fairly often. When I was
working in an ER back in Minnesota, I recall working on at least a half
dozen occasions when individuals had to have animals (usually hamsters or
mice, and a periodic small gerbil) removed from their rectums. In one
case, the animal caused enough damage prior to expiring that emergency
surgery was required to stop the person from bleeding to death. However,
I would also point out that while the animal insertions I've seen in ER
have been in gay males, insertion of objects is by no means limited to the
gay male population. I also recall a number of incidents involving women
in which assorted objects including a soap on a rope, a carrot, a candle,
a battery, etc., were lodged in the vaginal vault. Similar instances also
occured with rectal insertion with women too.
These are not imaginary scenarios. They do happen very frequently...just
ask anyone who has worked in a big city emergency facility.
--
"Ambition has but one reward for all:
A little power, a little transient fame,
A grave to rest in, and a fading name." -William Winter, Queen's Domain
============================================================================
= Dr. Marc E. Wiles + =
= Depts. of Physiology and Expt. Medicine + "Why's everybody getting =
= George Washington University Medical Center + paranoid? I was only =
= Washington, D.C. 20037 USA + having fun....." =
= + - Talking Heads =
============================================================================
David DeLaney
>Bill Marcum <bma...@coplex.coplex.com> wrote:
>>Daniel J. Karnes (ugh!) <d...@netcom.com> wrote:
>>>Others refused to believe that gays liked to stick live hamsters up in
>>>there - until they started pulling them out of injured queers.
>>And exactly when and where did this happen? Do you have any names or dates?
>>Newspaper articles (other than the Weakly Weird News)?
>Actually, insertion of small animals does occur fairly often. When I was
>working in an ER back in Minnesota, I recall working on at least a half
>dozen occasions when individuals had to have animals (usually hamsters or
>mice, and a periodic small gerbil) removed from their rectums. In one
>case, the animal caused enough damage prior to expiring that emergency
>surgery was required to stop the person from bleeding to death. However,
>I would also point out that while the animal insertions I've seen in ER
>have been in gay males, insertion of objects is by no means limited to the
>gay male population. I also recall a number of incidents involving women
>in which assorted objects including a soap on a rope, a carrot, a candle,
>a battery, etc., were lodged in the vaginal vault. Similar instances also
>occured with rectal insertion with women too.
>These are not imaginary scenarios. They do happen very frequently...just
>ask anyone who has worked in a big city emergency facility.
ummmm... I only have one problem with that, Dr. Marc: this is the first a)
anyone on alt.folklore.urban b) I (a member of the gay community) have heard
of any such actual incidents. Can we have some, say, case records or
emergency-room report references? Please? If they're so frequent? As far as
I know at the moment, "gerbil-stuffing" as a reported practice is a creation
of the straight community. I have no problem with the various items found
there - but if live animals had been involved in any cases, I like to think
I *would* have heard about it before now. Plus, noted urban-legend researcher
Jan Brunvand looked into this in "The Mexican Pet" and could not find any
substantiated cases - so if you can provide some, not *only* will you be
enshrined in our FAQ, but you may very well get into Jan's sixth book...
ObFAQReference:
T. People put assorted objects up their asses, get stuck, removed in hospital.
F. Well-known film star et al. put a gerbil up his ass for "wriggly furry fun"
["The Colo-Rectal Mouse" in TMP. Related entries in LEGAL BEAGLES]
ObRelatedButIrrelevantFAQRef:
T. Gerbils are illegal in California.[CA Reg. Title 14, Sec. 671 (c)(2)(J) 1].
Tb.Gerbils are trained to sniff drugs in Canada. Those Canadians!
^^--believed true, but not conclusively proven.
Dave "highly skeptical; besides, those things have *teeth*" DeLaney
--
David DeLaney: dbd@(utkux.utcc | panacea.phys | enigma.phys).utk.edu - collect
them all! Disclaimer: AFAIK, *nobody* speaks for U.T.Knoxville (consistently);
Thinking about this disclaimer (or about high energy theoretical particle __
physics) may cause headaches. .sig virus: Vicki Robinson v2.24; Kibo #: -0 \/
Marc Wiles
Hennipen Co. Medical Center, Minneapolis, MN, Ramsey Hospital, St. Paul,
MN., Fairview-Southdale Hospital, Edina, MN. Fairview-Southdale was
where, in particular, a male was admitted via ER with a macerated colon
due to insertion of a live small gerbil.
M
bill nelson
: Per animal insertion case reports, etc., you may wish to check with
It isn't that easy. You made the claim, you provide the cites. Certainly,
such incidents would be written up in the medical literature. You should
have easy access to such material. All you have to do is look these cases
up and post them. Others will then be able to verify your cites.
Bill
Marc Wiles
First of all, I never started the original thread regarding insertion of
various objects, including, but not limited to small animals. Second,
most such incidents are not written up in the scientific literature since
there is nothing novel or unique involved. Thirdly, I don't seem to have
the easy access to such case histories as you intimate....Frankly, I'm not
about to go back 8-9 years to search out case information in this area.
My response was simply that such events have occured and that I've seen
instances like I mentioned. I don't understand why this is creating such
a furor. It's as if you'd rather deny that such events could happen.
After all, fisting is a reality, and small animals and other objects can
be considerably smaller than a fist.
David A. Kaye
: where, in particular, a male was admitted via ER with a macerated colon
: due to insertion of a live small gerbil.
Considering that other inserted objects such as carrots, light bulbs,
cuckoo clock weights, etc., are usually listed in scientific papers, and
considering that I have read many many of these medical papers on the
subject, it surprises me that I have never found any reference to any
live animals being inserted rectally. I contend this is a legend, not a
fact. Otherwise you can BET such a situation would have been published
in a reputable medical journal.
Gene Haldeman
>
>most such incidents are not written up in the scientific literature since
>there is nothing novel or unique involved. Thirdly, I don't seem to have
Frankly, I'm surprised. It sounds novel or unique to me. In fact, if it
isn't novel, then that means at one point it was novel, right? It should
surely be in the journals the first time it happened, right?
>I don't understand why this is creating such
>a furor. It's as if you'd rather deny that such events could happen.
No-one's denying anything. We are skeptics, that's all. No-one here
denies, or accepts as gospel, anything until a certain degree of reliability
either for or against the stated event is given. If we felt otherwise, we
would still be collecting cards for Craig Shergold and collecting can tabs
for dialysis. It's the purpose of the newsgroup. So you see why we are
suspicious of any information until it can be cited.
Until proven otherwise, the gerbil stories remain marked with an F.
And if I weren't in such a charitable mood, I'd vote your sentence
beginning "It's as if...." as the groups motto.
But I won't.
danny burstein
<lots of pro and con arguments for believing -one- source who says he
-actually- saw the 'gerbil thing' in his hospital...>
Afraid I have to raise my skeptical flag here. I've worked for <umptity
umptity> years as a paramedic in NYC, and have seen just about everything,
INCLUDING insertion of quite a few objects in quite a few places.
While we've all heard the gerbil story, not -one- of the EMS folk, nor the
emergency room people I've spoken with (including St. Vincents hospital in
Greenwhich Village, which would be the most likely to come across this)
have ever seen this first, ahem, hand...
So until someone can bring more definit proof to this, I, too, have to
vote an "F" on this story.
Danny (how many medics does it take to remove a light bulb from... ) burstein
--
----------------------------------
dan...@panix.com adds: all the usual disclaimers regarding liability,
intelligence, accuracy apply. spelling disclaimer is doubled.
Terry Chan
->: Per animal insertion case reports, etc., you may wish to check with
->: Hennipen Co. Medical Center, Minneapolis, MN, Ramsey Hospital, St. Paul,
->: MN., Fairview-Southdale Hospital, Edina, MN. Fairview-Southdale was
->: where, in particular, a male was admitted via ER with a macerated colon
->: due to insertion of a live small gerbil.
So deadeye bill nelson <bi...@hpcvaac.cv.hp.com> calls Marc's call:
->It isn't that easy. You made the claim, you provide the cites. Certainly,
->such incidents would be written up in the medical literature. You should
->have easy access to such material. All you have to do is look these cases
->up and post them. Others will then be able to verify your cites.
-
wil...@unix1.circ.gwu.edu (Marc Wiles) writes:
-First of all, I never started the original thread regarding insertion of
-various objects, including, but not limited to small animals.
So?
-Second,
-most such incidents are not written up in the scientific literature since
-there is nothing novel or unique involved.
Really? And to think that people like Cecil Adams who checked
into the medical journals are able to come up with findings of
stuff up the rectum such as:
"a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, an axe handle, a
9-inch zucchini, countless dildos and vibrators including
one 14-inch model complete with two D-cell batteries, a
plastic spatula, a 9-inch water bottle, a deoderant bottle,
a Coke bottle, a large bottle cap, numerous other bottles,
a 3 1/2 inch Japanese float ball, an 11-inch carrot, an
antenna rod, a 150-watt light bulb, a cucumber, a screwdriver,
four rubber balls, 72 jeweler's saws (all from one patient
but not all at the same time although 29 were discovered on
one occasion), a paperweight, an apple, an onion, a plastic
toothbrush package, two bananas, a frozen pig's tail (it got
stuck when it thawed), a 10-inch length of broomstick, an 18-
inch umbrella handle and central rod, a plantain encased in a
condom, two Vaseline jars, a whisky bottle with a cord
attached, a teacup, an oil can, a 6x5 inch tool box weighing
22 ounces, a 6-inch stone weighing two pounds...a baby powder
can, a test tube, a ballpoint pen, a peanut butter jar, candles,
baseballs, a sand-filled bicycle inner tube, sewing needles, a
flashlight, a half-filled tobacco pouch, a turnip, a pair of
glasses, a hard boiled egg, a carborundum grindstone (with
handle), a suitcase key, a syringe, a file, tumblers and glasses,
a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink, and so on."
-- _More of the Straight Dope_, pp. 226-218.
Amazing all that and gerbils wouldn't rate? Not even above, say,
a hard boiled egg? Even a suitcase key? Or is that common to you?
-Thirdly, I don't seem to have
-the easy access to such case histories as you intimate....Frankly, I'm not
Then it further erodes your credibility.
-about to go back 8-9 years to search out case information in this area.
-My response was simply that such events have occured and that I've seen
-instances like I mentioned. I don't understand why this is creating such
-a furor. It's as if you'd rather deny that such events could happen.
Nobody denies that they could happen. We're interested in seeing
whether or not such a case has actually happened despite legendary
reports of its occurrance circulating since 1982 without a single,
credible source of documentation such as in the cases noted above.
No big deal Marc, in this case, other people are less trusting and
have higher standards for proof than you do.
-After all, fisting is a reality, and small animals and other objects can
-be considerably smaller than a fist.
Is this too narrow to be a motto?
Terry "That'd be the butt, Bob" Chan
--
Energy and Environment Division | Internet: TWC...@lbl.gov
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory | If "pro" is the opposite of "con,"
Berkeley, California USA 94720 | then what's the opposite of "contusion?"
hag...@ssrl01.slac.stanford.edu
knowledge of, um, shall we say, "rectal rodentistry," a certain
Mr. Chan posted a list of documented BigButtFun<tm>, including
but not limited to:
"a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, an axe handle, a
9-inch zucchini, countless dildos and vibrators including
one 14-inch model complete with two D-cell batteries, a
plastic spatula, a 9-inch water bottle, a deoderant bottle,
a Coke bottle, a large bottle cap, numerous other bottles,
a 3 1/2 inch Japanese float ball, an 11-inch carrot, an
antenna rod, a 150-watt light bulb, a cucumber, a screwdriver,
four rubber balls, 72 jeweler's saws (all from one patient
but not all at the same time although 29 were discovered on
one occasion), a paperweight, an apple, an onion, a plastic
toothbrush package, two bananas, a frozen pig's tail (it got
stuck when it thawed), a 10-inch length of broomstick, an 18-
inch umbrella handle and central rod, a plantain encased in a
condom, two Vaseline jars, a whisky bottle with a cord
attached, a teacup, an oil can, a 6x5 inch tool box weighing
22 ounces, a 6-inch stone weighing two pounds...
And this goes on most impressively. My imagination is overworked
and getting queasy. However, a question works its way up through
the rather unusual visions swirling through my mind:
OK, so somebody shows up at the ER with the old "toolbox in the
pooter" problem (HATE it when that happens). Just what the hell
does the doctor do to remove the offending item(s)?! Big-time
muscle relaxers? Two quarts of Ex-Lax? Giant spring-loaded tongs?
Tissue expansion via Bernz-o-matic torch, like I used on that old
stuck wheelnut? Caesarian? What?
Just curious.
-Craig "diode butt" Haggart (think circuit function, you'll get it...)
Stanford Synchrotron Radiation Lab at SLAC
Menlo Park, California
(hag...@SLAC.stanford.edu)
bill nelson
: >
: >It isn't that easy. You made the claim, you provide the cites. Certainly,
: >such incidents would be written up in the medical literature. You should
: >have easy access to such material. All you have to do is look these cases
: >up and post them. Others will then be able to verify your cites.
: First of all, I never started the original thread regarding insertion of
: various objects, including, but not limited to small animals. Second,
: most such incidents are not written up in the scientific literature since
: there is nothing novel or unique involved. Thirdly, I don't seem to have
: the easy access to such case histories as you intimate....Frankly, I'm not
: about to go back 8-9 years to search out case information in this area.
: My response was simply that such events have occured and that I've seen
: instances like I mentioned. I don't understand why this is creating such
: a furor. It's as if you'd rather deny that such events could happen.
: After all, fisting is a reality, and small animals and other objects can
: be considerably smaller than a fist.
It has created such a furor because you apparently have access to information
that no one else has been able to find.
So far, all we have is your unsuppored word - which is (to be blunt)
absolutely worthless for proving or disproving the legend. Since you
are apparently unwilling to do the research, I suspect that it will
remain an unfounded rumor.
I personally do not care what people shove up their asses, or any other
orifice. However, since this is a.f.u., I do insist on documentation, before
I will belive any such claims.
Bill
bill nelson
:
: various objects, including, but not limited to small animals. Second,
: most such incidents are not written up in the scientific literature since
: there is nothing novel or unique involved. Thirdly, I don't seem to have
I would disagree. Since there appears to be absolutely no mention of such
actions in the literature, such a happening would certainly be written up
as novel and unique. There are enough references to such objects as pop
bottles, broom handles etc.
Bill
David DeLaney
>In response to Marc Wiles' post claiming (exclusive?) firsthand
>knowledge of, um, shall we say, "rectal rodentistry," a certain
>Mr. Chan posted a list of documented BigButtFun<tm>, including
>but not limited to:
[list'o'ButtFunIdeas deleted - *don't* try this at home, kids!]
>And this goes on most impressively. My imagination is overworked
>and getting queasy. However, a question works its way up through
>the rather unusual visions swirling through my mind:
>OK, so somebody shows up at the ER with the old "toolbox in the
>pooter" problem (HATE it when that happens). Just what the hell
>does the doctor do to remove the offending item(s)?! Big-time
>muscle relaxers? Two quarts of Ex-Lax? Giant spring-loaded tongs?
>Tissue expansion via Bernz-o-matic torch, like I used on that old
>stuck wheelnut? Caesarian? What?
>Just curious.
>-Craig "diode butt" Haggart (think circuit function, you'll get it...)
Well, Craig, since you ask: each and every one of those got *in* there
(maybe not without a struggle) just fine. Probably (I speak not from
direct knowledge here, but that never stopped me before) what happens is
first, the doc takes a look, either with Xrays, sound waves, or an instrument
usually used for dilating other orifices (I want to say "sphygmomanometer",
but that's blood-pressure), to see what it is and how it's lying. Then non-
breakables which are smooth are probably just slowly pulled out (a little
muscle relaxant won't hurt, I guess); the sharp or fragile things probably
need some care to avoid (further) laceration of the intestinal wall (pull
them out backwards). The muscles *can* relax enough to allow a hand in, but
doctors' offices are well-supplied with medium-size tweezers and the like.
I imagine (not that I actually sit down and imagine this stuff for fun, you
see) that it's something like retrieving a tampon whose string has broken.
So basically, it's just "reach in and carefully pull it out". Unless disaster
has struck and it's shattered or resisting strenuously, in which case
medium-major surgery *might* be required.
Oh, and to everybody that got this far: *my* Xmas present to AFU: this
thread, miraculously revived from limbo with a sweep of my newly-acquired
blue-purple SPEBSQSA cap. Merry Xmas, Happy New Year, Merry Mithras, etc.!
Dave "drive safely, and don't do anything I wouldn't do for food" DeLaney
David DeLaney
posting it to the right place (here), all the afu-ers for maintaining
healthy levels of skepticism, and of course Daniel J. Karnes for starting
the whole thing off, once again proving his right to inclusion in the
Net.Legends FAQ. Bill vH, are you back yet? Can we get this thing out and
distributed soon?
Dave "Dannyboy Karnes on alt.sex? the mind boggles" DeLaney
STella
>wil...@unix1.circ.gwu.edu (Marc Wiles) writes:
>>Bill Marcum <bma...@coplex.coplex.com> wrote:
>>>Daniel J. Karnes (ugh!) <d...@netcom.com> wrote:
>>>>Others refused to believe that gays liked to stick live hamsters up in
>>>>there - until they started pulling them out of injured queers.
>
>anyone on alt.folklore.urban b) I (a member of the gay community) have heard
>of any such actual incidents. Can we have some, say, case records or
>emergency-room report references? Please? If they're so frequent? As far as
Will this help? It was posted on the net, so it MUST be true....
#####################################################################
>From usc!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!ames!apple!xanadu!thelema!STella Sat Jan 25 17:53:38 PST 1992
In article <29...@well.sf.ca.us> pf...@well.sf.ca.us (Tobias Pfeil) writes:
>It has come to my attention that gay men like to practice something
>called "Gerbiling". A process where one shoves a gerbil into
>one's butthole. This seems pretty strange to me.
Well, actually, there's a few things you DON'T know -- one is that gay
women can do it too, but WE get to use TWO gerbils. Het men only get
one, too. Het women get two, too, unless they've had a baby, in which
case they get five.
Eat your heart (or other body part) out.
>Do you cut the gerbil's nails off?
Nah, then you'd be left with sharp edges. Little bitty swim-fins. Superglue.
> If not, doesn't it scratch
>your rectum?
Or other parts. Adds to the sensation, those fins going
flippity-flippity all the way up. Then you get butterflies in your
tummy, but it ain't butterflies and it ain't your tummy. Wow!
> What about its teeth? What if it bites you?
It'll hurt and you'll suffer.
That's why I recommend Hartz Mountain Gerbil-Stuffing, a nutritious
pellet that expands as it gets dampened (with gerbil spit, you sick
pervert), and swells to pad the gerbil(s)'s teeth, into the shape of a
perfect little mouthpiece.
>I assume this is fatal to the gerbil?
No. Head down to your local scuba shop, and get brochures from Acme
Pet Supply and Sex-Aid Ltd. You'll find the tank, the regulator, and
the little wristwatch that will warn the gerbil(s) half the air's
gone, and it's time to turn around (ooooooh!) and head out. BTW, I
recommended Hartz Mountain in the previous paragraph just because the
pellets have a little bitsy fitting for the regulator. Cheaper brands
aren't necessarily better brands -- ask anyone who's hugged a
radiator.
> Or is one gerbil good for a few
>sessions?
Replace your gerbil when you change the batteries on the smoke
detector. Spring forward, fall back.
> Have you tried multiple gerbils? What is the record for
>the most gerbils that have been gerbiled?
Craig Shergold, a female-to-female transylvanian, is in the Guinness
Book of World Records for 23 gerbils gerbiling. And five shrews up
his nose. The Guinness people, btw, have announced that they will no
longer accept entries in this category.
>Do you buy gerbils at a pet store?
Nah, I buy mine from vending machines in the johns. Cheaper, fresher,
and some are already trained. The ones in the women's johns have
strings, too. Multiple-use....
> Don't the store owners get suspicious
>when you keep coming back for more gerbils?
You send 'em to the drycleaners between uses, and they last about a
year. Replace 'em anyway -- a young gerbil is a wiggly gerbil.
Besides, if you get two gerbils, that's a lifetime supply since, as
any parent knows, all pet rodents are parthenogenic females. So --
one to wear, and one to share should do you, assuming you're male.
It might be more cost
>efficent to breed your own?
Been tried. Won't fit. He got stuck. Had to take 'em both to Jiffy
Lube. On Memorial Day weekend.
>Has anyone tried this with hampsters?
I think that's a Boston Thing. And THEY, profligate east-coast
liberals, use a new hampster every time, too. Wasteful and expensive.
>What other animals do you shove into various orifices?
Well, I generally shove critters who're trying to start net.wide
flamewars into /dev/null. Maybe with a request at the bottom that
people just make fun of idiots like this, and let them GO AWAY, like a
greased puppydog (what DID you think I do with them?)
>What other bizarre things do gay men do?
Sometimes they read the newsgroup line before they post. Pretty
bizarre, right? Well, even hetboys can play.
Note: I consider it likely that someone left his terminal or gave away
his password, but who knows. I'll assume, till I see further
stupidity from this account, that a sneer, a note to the postmaster,
and a whap on the "n" key will do it.
Just call me Dances-with-Gerbils....
=======================
>Jan Brunvand looked into this in "The Mexican Pet" and could not find any
>substantiated cases - so if you can provide some, not *only* will you be
>enshrined in our FAQ, but you may very well get into Jan's sixth book...
STe...@netcom.com
1030 E. El Camino Real, #302, Sunnyvale, CA, 94087
In a crisis, we cut away
what we don't need any more,
in the good times, we find our way,
we find our way back home.... --World Entertainment War
S. Mudgett aka little gator
>
>I personally do not care what people shove up their asses, or any other
>orifice. However, since this is a.f.u., I do insist on documentation, before
>I will belive any such claims.
>
--
-- little gator aka s. mudgett email: s...@harvee.billerica.ma.us
-- friend of a gator is a friend of mine
CRYST...@delphi.com
of the thread -- but will someone who has access to MEDLINE please put
all above and below writers out of their misery by searching the lit?
A natural language search should do just fine -- try "anus" and rodent? ?"
Oh: Is the actor in question (in everyone else's version of the u.l.
Richard Gere? Just want to be sure our rumors agree.
Terry Chan
->In response to Marc Wiles' post claiming (exclusive?) firsthand
->knowledge of, um, shall we say, "rectal rodentistry," a certain
->Mr. Chan posted a list of documented BigButtFun<tm>, including
->but not limited to:
-
-[Some stuff I posted for wriggly-nonfurry fun]
-
->And this goes on most impressively. My imagination is overworked
->and getting queasy. However, a question works its way up through
->the rather unusual visions swirling through my mind:
->OK, so somebody shows up at the ER with the old "toolbox in the
->pooter" problem (HATE it when that happens). Just what the hell
->does the doctor do to remove the offending item(s)?! Big-time
->muscle relaxers? Two quarts of Ex-Lax? Giant spring-loaded tongs?
->Tissue expansion via Bernz-o-matic torch, like I used on that old
->stuck wheelnut? Caesarian? What?
I understand that they used to use muscle relaxants but
have since switched to videotape of John Wayne Bobbit.
->Just curious.
Yeah, sure. Asking for a friend too are we?
Terry "And away go troubles down the drain" Chan
--
Energy and Environment Division | Internet: TWC...@lbl.gov
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory | Remember, angels fry because
Berkeley, California USA 94720 | they shake their woks lightly.
Terry Chan
-I may be out of order here -- having just skipped back to the beginning
-of the thread -- but will someone who has access to MEDLINE please put
-all above and below writers out of their misery by searching the lit?
-A natural language search should do just fine -- try "anus" and rodent? ?"
Sigh. Oh well, here we go again. I've just searched Medline
on Sun Dec 26 23:56:07 1993. [Incidentally, the Medline data-
base I'm using lists citations from 01/01/89 - 12/07/93.]
Using the key words "anus" and "rodent", I get the following
citations:
>1. Jackson KA; Topping DL.
> Prevention of coprophagy does not alter the hypocholesterolaemic effects
> of oat bran in the rat.
> British Journal of Nutrition, 1993 Jul, 70(1):211-9.
> ABSTRACT available. (UI: 94001935)
>
>2. Cogley TP.
> Warble development by the rodent bot Cuterebra fontinella (Diptera:
> Cuterebridae) in the deer mouse.
> Veterinary Parasitology, 1991 May, 38(4):275-88.
> ABSTRACT available. (UI: 91352987)
>
>3. Gutierrez-Pena EJ.
> Scanning electron microscopic study of adults and microfilariae of
> Dunnifilaria meningica (Filarioidea: Onchocercidae).
> Parasitology Research, 1989, 75(6):470-5.
> ABSTRACT available. (UI: 89331486)
I don't see any article of relevance here.
There are 727 citations with the keyword "gerbil." If I include
the keyword "anus" there are zero citations. If I do a search
on "gerbil" and "rectum" I get:
>1. Kawagoe J; Abe K; Kogure K.
> Different thresholds of HSP70 and HSC70 heat shock mRNA induction in
> post-ischemic gerbil brain.
> Brain Research, 1992 Dec 25, 599(2):197-203.
> ABSTRACT available. (UI: 93177479)
>
>2. Hewitt K; Corbett D.
> Combined treatment with MK-801 and nicardipine reduces global ischemic
> damage in the gerbil.
> Stroke, 1992 Jan, 23(1):82-6.
> ABSTRACT available. (UI: 92116419)
>
>3. Welsh FA; Harris VA.
> Postischemic hypothermia fails to reduce ischemic injury in gerbil
> hippocampus.
> Journal of Cerebral Blood Flow and Metabolism, 1991 Jul, 11(4):617-20.
> ABSTRACT available. (UI: 91268168)
So, it looks bad for our would-be pro-gerbils here.
-Oh: Is the actor in question (in everyone else's version of the u.l.
-Richard Gere? Just want to be sure our rumors agree.
He's as good as any.
Terry "Sometimes ya gotta believe..." Chan
David DeLaney
>d...@martha.utcc.utk.edu (David DeLaney) writes:
>>wil...@unix1.circ.gwu.edu (Marc Wiles) writes:
>>>Bill Marcum <bma...@coplex.coplex.com> wrote:
>>>>Daniel J. Karnes (ugh!) <d...@netcom.com> wrote:
>>>>>Others refused to believe that gays liked to stick live hamsters up in
>>>>>there - until they started pulling them out of injured queers.
>>ummmm... I only have one problem with that, Dr. Marc: this is the first a)
>>anyone on alt.folklore.urban b) I (a member of the gay community) have heard
>>of any such actual incidents. Can we have some, say, case records or
>>emergency-room report references? Please? If they're so frequent? As far as
>Will this help? It was posted on the net, so it MUST be true....
(BWAHAHAHAheehee!!) I nominate STella for the "If X says it, it MUST be a
MOTTO" category! Thanx, just what we needed here!
Dave "Woo hoo hoo!" DeLaney
Patrick Bell
I'm catching this thread in the middle but I'll ad the popular explanation
to how this urban legend about Gay men stuffing mouse/gerbils/hamsters/rats
up their anuses for a sexual thrill started. The documentation for this
was an article I read in _The_Advocate_ about 4 or 5 (maybe longer) years
ago. I believe it (the below explanation, that is.)
The rodent rumor supposedly started in NYC by members of crowd that frequented
and popularized a legendary Gay nightclub that used to exist in NYC called
The Saint. At the height of what the Gay community often refers to as "the
party" or "the ball", that is, those pre-AIDS-worries days, this was *the*
*premiere* Gay nightclub in the United States. Besides having a dancefloor
under a planetarium, it also had a lounge area in which many Gay men of the
time engaged their sexual fantasies/desires right there and then, devil may
care. As word got around NYC about the goings on that occurred at this
place, rumor among the Straight community on the edge of the Gay community
delighted themselves and their prurient self-interest by hearing/telling
little stories about what someone said someone did while they were watching,
etc. Harmless and typical club gossip, etc.
As a joke on the Straight community, some guys made up the story about mice/
gerbils/whatevers to see if the Straight community gossiping about The Saint
would be gullable enough to believe it. Obviously, they were. Gay people,
not being any smarter about silly rumors than Straight people, started hearing
about it and believed it too. Suddenly, about 1982-85, there was all this
passing conversation about "someone who knows someone" who tried this, etc.,
but no one ever said "I tried this" or "I was there when so and so tried this".
Moreover, the Gay male porn press, not being one to ever flinch when reporting
in specific detail the current trends in Gay male sexual behavior, never reported
this, either as a goings on or as fodder for a fictional beat-off story. If
it was real, it would've appeared in this press, as every sex trend always does.
Most Gay men with a little common-sense and a lot of experience as bottoms
immediately knew this was made up, because the point of getting fucked is
not just to massage the sphincter and the prostate from the inside (which is
how some men can cum by getting fucked), but the physical connection between
human beings that makes sex/making love the special human behavior that it is.
Also, anyone who's been plugged in the butt before knows just how ludicrous
this idea of stuffing this thing with claws up one's keister is. One variation
of the rumor has the men cutting its little legs (all four) off before
inserting -- great, now it's a blood-soaked squishy ball of fur. Sounds like
a good time to me (sarcarsm). NOT! And what about the rodent's teeth?
Of course, Gay entrepreneurs capitalized on the humor of this situation. Seen
and sold: T-shirts with the logo "Some many Gerbils, So Little Time". <snicker>
So, in a nutshell, it was a UL started by Gay men that used to frequent The
Saint to see how gullable Straight people were, and are.
--
Patrick Bell | All viewpoints | (513) 865-7343
Mead Data Central, Inc.| expressed are mine | p...@meaddata.com
P.O. Box 933 | and not that of my |...!uunet!meaddata!ptb
Dayton, OH 45401 | employer. So there! |
Jason R. Heimbaugh
>Most Gay men with a little common-sense and a lot of experience as bottoms
>immediately knew this was made up, because the point of getting fucked is
>not just to massage the sphincter and the prostate from the inside (which is
>how some men can cum by getting fucked), but the physical connection between
>human beings that makes sex/making love the special human behavior that it is.
So no gay male has ever masturbated with a dildo?
--
Jason R. Heimbaugh - j...@uiuc.edu
"Parking with Vicki beside the Information Superhighway."
Andrew Bulhak
: These are not imaginary scenarios. They do happen very frequently...just
: ask anyone who has worked in a big city emergency facility.
ZBGGB!
-- acb [are colo-rectal mice illegal in Colorado?]
--
Andrew Bulhak |"Our theory was that events of sufficient strangeness
a...@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au| and violence would change the lives of those who
Monash Uni, Clayton, | witnessed them, and provide them with, perhaps their
Victoria, Australia | most indelible if mysterious memories."-B.Humphries
Andrew Bulhak
: So, in a nutshell, it was a UL started by Gay men that used to frequent The
: Saint to see how gullable Straight people were, and are.
You mean, to see whether feeding them Alka-Seltzer would....aw, forget it.
Mike Golobay
Jason R. Heimbaugh <cats...@gofish.aiss.uiuc.edu> wrote:
>In article <2fmu2n$k...@meaddata.meaddata.com> p...@meaddata.com (Patrick Bell) writes:
>>Most Gay men with a little common-sense and a lot of experience as bottoms
>>immediately knew this was made up, because the point of getting fucked is
>>not just to massage the sphincter and the prostate from the inside (which is
>>how some men can cum by getting fucked), but the physical connection between
>>human beings that makes sex/making love the special human behavior that it is.
>
>So no gay male has ever masturbated with a dildo?
>
something up there.
Another reason is that pressure on the prostate gland is one of the most
explosive things that a man can feel. When done properly, it feels like
someone stroking the *inside* of your dick. You get that pressure feeling
like right before you cum, only it goes on and on... and it feels like
you're not sure if you're gonna cum or pee.... but you know it will be
fantastic! Sometimes a man can actually have an orgasm without his dick
ever being touched. Just by massaging the prostate.
--
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike Golobay
da...@feenix.metronet.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Jim J. Macklow
>
>Sometimes a man can actually have an orgasm without his dick
>ever being touched. Just by massaging the prostate.
My wife tells me that in Japan, certain Bhuddist monks have orgasms
simply by meditating, and not touching their naughty bits at all.
Anyone else heard of similar feats?
-Jim "They've never heard of Rosy Palm" Macklow
D R Powers
: Per animal insertion case reports, etc., you may wish to check with
: M
And for further information, check out these references the next time
you're at your favorite medical library:
From @UCCVMA.UCOP.EDU:MEL...@UCCMVSA.UCOP.EDU Mon Dec 27 15:09:01 1993
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Date: Mon, 27 Dec 93 15:09:08 PST
From: "Melvyl System" <MEL...@UCCMVSA.UCOP.EDU>
To: DRPO...@ucdavis.ucdavis.edu
Subject: (id: LLS12018) ANORECTAL FOREIGN BODY
Status: R
Message:
THIS IS A SEARCH ON THE MEDLINE DATABASE FOR THE LAST FIVE OR SO YEARS
ON THE TOPIC OF FOREIGN BODY INSERTION PER RECTUM.
SEARCH: F XSU RECTUM AND F XSU FOREIGN BODIES
DATE: 27 DECEMBER 1993
BY: DOUG POWERS, MEDICAL INFORMATION SPECIALIST, U C DAVIS MED CENTER
END OF MESSAGE
Search request: F (XSU FOREIGN BODIES AND XSU RECTUM) AND LANG ENG
Search result: 19 citations in the Medline database
[note: citations re pediatric ingestion of foreign objects now lodged
in rectum, and the like, were deleted]
Display: SHORT ABS
1. Fletcher EC; Varon J.
Intestinal obstruction: the marble effect [letter].
American Journal of Emergency Medicine, 1993 May, 11(3):317.
(UI: 93257027)
Pub type: Letter.
2. Yaman M; Deitel M; Burul CJ; Shahi B; Hadar B.
Foreign bodies in the rectum.
Canadian Journal of Surgery, 1993 Apr, 36(2):173-7.
(UI: 93230489)
Abstract: Although infrequent, rectal foreign bodies present a challenge in
management. The authors report on their experience with 29 patients who had
rectal foreign bodies. Emergency-department procedures included rectal
examination, proctoscopy and abdominal radiography. Soft or low-lying
objects having an edge could be grasped and removed safely in the emergency
department, but grasping hard objects was potentially traumatic and
occasionally resulted in upward migration toward the sigmoid.
Operating-room procedures included anal dilatation under general
anesthesia, transrectal manipulation, bimanual palpation if necessary and
withdrawal of the foreign body. In two cases, rectal mucosa was trapped--in
an open deodorant bottle in one patient and in a curtain rod in the second
patient; operative release of the mucosa enabled safe removal. Two patients
presented with peritonitis; both had "broomstick" injuries and required
proximal colostomy. Five patients had perianal sepsis due to inadvertently
ingested pieces of wood (three) and chicken bones (two). The mean hospital
stay was 3 days (range from 6 hours to 6 days). There were no deaths.
Because of the potential complications, rectal foreign bodies should be
regarded seriously and treated expeditiously.
3. Collins GN.
Catheter balloon rupture using transrectal ultrasound.
Journal of Urology, 1993 Jan, 149(1):91.
(UI: 93108555)
4. Clarkston WK.
Gastrointestinal foreign bodies. When to remove them, when to watch and
wait.
Postgraduate Medicine, 1992 Oct, 92(5):46-8, 51-9.
(UI: 93027888)
Abstract: By being aware of which patients are at high risk for ingestion or
insertion of foreign bodies, physicians can be on the lookout for objects
in the gastrointestinal tract and ready to institute initial care.
Esophageal foreign bodies and other objects that increase the chance of
perforation or obstruction may require urgent endoscopic or surgical
removal. Other objects may be expelled on their own. Identification of
those that require early intervention is the key to successful management.
5. Stokes M; Jones DJ.
ABC of colorectal diseases. Colorectal trauma.
Bmj, 1992 Aug 1, 305(6848):303-6.
(UI: 93006174)
Pub type: Journal Article; Review; Review, Tutorial.
6. Saunders MS; Bitonte AG; McElroy JB.
The improbable intravesical foreign body.
Southern Medical Journal, 1992 Jun, 85(6):653-5.
(UI: 92294963)
Abstract: Foreign objects in the urinary bladder can occasionally pose
perplexing diagnostic problems, especially in the face of a seemingly
incredible history. This case illustrates the importance of investigating
such claims. Occasionally, alternate diagnostic methods such as fluoroscopy
or ultrasonography may assist in noninvasive diagnosis and management.
7. Campbell JK.
Case report: a case of rectal perforation by foreign body presenting as
pyrexia of unknown origin.
Journal of the Royal Naval Medical Service, 1992 Spring, 78(1):13-5.
(UI: 93085630)
8. Gough J.
Removal of alimentary foreign bodies [letter; comment].
British Journal of Hospital Medicine, 1991 Oct, 46(4):270.
(UI: 92063349)
Pub type: Comment; Letter.
9. Ikeda N; Hulewicz B; Knight B; Suzuki T.
Homicide by rectal insertion of a walking stick.
Nippon Hoigaku Zasshi. Japanese Journal of Legal Medicine, 1991 Aug,
45(4):341-4.
(UI: 92114358)
Abstract: A 75-year-old disabled man was killed by a homosexual mental patient
by the rectal insertion of a walking stick. The external examination of the
body showed only four superficial tears in the skin of the anus. However,
there was a 1 cm diameter full thickness perforation in the anterior wall
of the rectum and the cause of death was the perforated rectum. The
importance of the careful investigation into the circumstances of death,
the background of the decreased, and the condition of the anus and rectum
is discussed.
10. Shah PA; Pagare SK; Deshmukh VM; Changlani TT.
Intra peritoneal rectal tear: delayed presentation in a battered baby.
Indian Journal of Gastroenterology, 1991 Apr, 10(2):66.
(UI: 91250218)
Abstract: We report a two and a half year old child who presented with an acute
abdomen two days after a spoon was forcefully inserted per rectum. The
child recovered after repair of the rectal tear and a temporary sigmoid
colostomy.
11. Davies DH.
A chicken bone in the rectum.
Archives of Emergency Medicine, 1991 Mar, 8(1):62-4.
(UI: 91307604)
Abstract: A case of an ingested chicken bone lodging in the anal canal is
described which presented as severe rectal pain. Certain people are at
increased risk of foreign body ingestion, in particular denture wearers.
The foreign body is usually obvious and easily removed and although the
risks of perforation are not high it is important to exclude it by
proctosigmoidoscopy following removal of the foreign body.
12. Miller BJ; Wetzig NR.
Incarcerated sigmoid bottle.
Australian and New Zealand Journal of Surgery, 1990 Sep, 60(9):729-31.
(UI: 90372871)
Abstract: A 67-year-old man presented to Casualty approximately 12 hours after
the insertion of a bottle into his rectum. An attempt was made to deliver
the bottle through the rectum but because of perirectal oedema and a
coat-hanger wire around the internal end of the bottle, this proved
impossible. Laparotomy was performed and the bottle was removed through a
longitudinal colotomy.
13. Kyvik KR; Brattebo G.
The potential hazards of eating fish [letter].
Gastroenterology, 1990 Aug, 99(2):602.
(UI: 90306723)
Pub type: Letter.
14. Ober WB.
Anorectal trauma [letter; comment].
American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology, 1990 Jun, 11(2):181.
(UI: 90261681)
Pub type: Comment; Letter.
15. Colthurst JR.
How to remove a rectal foreign body [letter] [see comments].
British Journal of Hospital Medicine, 1990 May, 43(5):329.
(UI: 90304476)
Pub type: Letter.
16. Gilbert PM.
Multiple ingested foreign bodies impacting in the rectum.
British Journal of Clinical Practice, 1990 Apr, 44(4):160.
(UI: 90321800)
17. Williams JA.
Foreign bodies stuck in the rectum [editorial].
Bmj, 1989 Apr 22, 298(6680):1052-3.
(UI: 89248075)
Pub type: Editorial.
18. Eckert WG; Katchis S.
Anorectal trauma. Medicolegal and forensic aspects [see comments].
American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology, 1989 Mar, 10(1):3-9.
(UI: 89190563)
Pub type: Journal Article; Review; Review, Tutorial.
Abstract: A review of both deliberate and accidental anorectal trauma is
presented. The mechanisms and types of injuries as well as the
complications are discussed. Injuries resulting from sexual assaults are
discussed in detail.
19. Caos A; Flood B; Morrell M.
Rectal bleeding due to enemas [letter].
American Journal of Gastroenterology, 1989 Jan, 84(1):87.
(UI: 89103265)
Pub type: Letter.
Alan J Rosenthal
>Marc Wiles (wil...@unix1.circ.gwu.edu) wrote:
>: Per animal insertion case reports, etc., you may wish to check with
>: Hennipen Co. Medical Center, Minneapolis, MN, Ramsey Hospital, St. Paul,
>: MN., Fairview-Southdale Hospital, Edina, MN. Fairview-Southdale was
>: where, in particular, a male was admitted via ER with a macerated colon
>: due to insertion of a live small gerbil.
>
>you're at your favorite medical library:
I don't see any animal insertion in that article you re-posted. Did you post it
for any reason? Are any of the citations about animals? We know that people
put various things in their backsides, but we're sceptical about the gerbils.
Alan "can't you alt.sex folks carry on a coherent conversation?" Rosenthal
Elf Sternberg
cats...@gofish.aiss.uiuc.edu (Jason R. Heimbaugh) writes:
>In article <2fmu2n$k...@meaddata.meaddata.com>
> p...@meaddata.com (Patrick Bell) writes:
>> Most Gay men with a little common-sense and a lot of experience as
>> bottoms immediately knew this was made up, because the point of
>> getting fucked is not just to massage the sphincter and the
>> prostate from the inside (which is how some men can cum by getting
>> fucked), but the physical connection between human beings that
>> makes sex/making love the special human behavior that it is.
>So no gay male has ever masturbated with a dildo?
Of course we have, and Patrick knows it. Men who make love
know full well that the physical is just as important as the
spiritual, or they could attribute that spirituality to something
more mundane, like bowling.
And only the intelligensia queers like Geoff Mains, or me,
could raphsodize the oh-so-masculine violence of anonymous sex in
video booths, bathhouses, bar backrooms, and bushes. Most of the
guys in those places are there strictly for the physical, "to get
off" reasons that straight guys use whores for. Otherwise, there
wouldn't be quite so much male prostitution, either, yet the back of
every gay rag I read has scores and scores of "models" for rent.
Elf !!!
--
I see I'm in a lot of killfiles again. E...@halcyon.com
--
I see I'm in a lot of killfiles again. E...@halcyon.com
Christopher Horymski
>
> Of course we have, and Patrick knows it. Men who make love
>know full well that the physical is just as important as the
>spiritual, or they could attribute that spirituality to something
>more mundane, like bowling.
>
Are you saying that some lovemaking is not spiritual but that no spirituality
is physical?
Chris "Zen and the art of the 3-6-10" Horymski
Report all obscene mail to your potsmaster
CRYST...@delphi.com
drops in MEDLINE by limiting retrieval to human occurrences of, say,
anal-rodental encounters. If you're using Dialog, just enter "/human"
after your set number.
Erratum/erotum: Should've written "Richard Gere-bil." Doubtless the rumor's
source.
William G. Sinkins
Good idea. In the past five years, MEDLINE reports no such cases involving
gerbils or mice.
Bill 'people who do MEDLINE searches of sex-related topics need to get out more
often' Sinkins
Patrick Bell
|> In article <CIpDx...@metronet.com> da...@metronet.com (Mike Golobay) writes:
|> >
|> >Sometimes a man can actually have an orgasm without his dick
|> >ever being touched. Just by massaging the prostate.
|>
|> My wife tells me that in Japan, certain Bhuddist monks have orgasms
|> simply by meditating, and not touching their naughty bits at all.
Why would they not want to? :-)
|> Anyone else heard of similar feats?
|>
|> -Jim "They've never heard of Rosy Palm" Macklow
--
Patrick Bell
|> In article <2fn0br$4...@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>,
|> Jason R. Heimbaugh <cats...@gofish.aiss.uiuc.edu> wrote:
|> >In article <2fmu2n$k...@meaddata.meaddata.com> p...@meaddata.com (Patrick Bell) writes:
|> >>Most Gay men with a little common-sense and a lot of experience as bottoms
|> >>immediately knew this was made up, because the point of getting fucked is
|> >>not just to massage the sphincter and the prostate from the inside (which is
|> >>how some men can cum by getting fucked), but the physical connection between
|> >>human beings that makes sex/making love the special human behavior that it is.
|> >
|> >So no gay male has ever masturbated with a dildo?
|> >
|> Many do! Even some straight men find themselves wanting to shove
|> something up there.
Yeah, I didn't mean to imply that none ever did, but there's a huge difference
between using a toy to specifically manipulate one's own prostate and letting
a terrified wild animal squirm, teeth, claws, and all (or as a bloody stumpy
rag, depending on your version of the UL), in one's rectum. C'mon, think
about it.
|> Another reason is that pressure on the prostate gland is one of the most
|> explosive things that a man can feel. When done properly, it feels like
|> someone stroking the *inside* of your dick. You get that pressure feeling
|> like right before you cum, only it goes on and on... and it feels like
|> you're not sure if you're gonna cum or pee.... but you know it will be
|> fantastic! Sometimes a man can actually have an orgasm without his dick
|> ever being touched. Just by massaging the prostate.
EXACTLY! Mike's *ab*so*lute*ly* right in his description here.
Chip Dunham
Whatever will remove the object - from muscle relaxants to surgery.
************************************************************************
_____* Chip Dunham, NYS EMT-D, NREMT * Houston Field House EMS *
|\ /|* Coordinator of EMS Operations * HD0...@albnyvms.bitnet *
| O |************************************************************************
|/_\|*If it wasn't for stupid people doing stupid things, I'd be unemployed!*
************************************************************************
David DeLaney
>Why would they not want to? :-)
Nothing personal, Patrick; you understand - but I have to sever that thing now.
Rule #5: if it's not the first or second one used in the thread, it's
fair game; I don't care *how* far it's crossposted.
hmmm... xposted from alt.sex; I know:
creeak tsschurp CHWONK plunk
Dave "pruning shears; paging Mrs. Bobbitt" DeLaney
official AFU Odd-Gadget Interim Apprentice Emoticon Executioner
Joel Furr
>In response to Marc Wiles' post claiming (exclusive?) firsthand
>knowledge of, um, shall we say, "rectal rodentistry," a certain
>Mr. Chan posted a list of documented BigButtFun<tm>, including
>but not limited to:
>
> "a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, an axe handle, a
> 9-inch zucchini, countless dildos and vibrators including
> one 14-inch model complete with two D-cell batteries, a
> plastic spatula, a 9-inch water bottle, a deoderant bottle,
> a Coke bottle, a large bottle cap, numerous other bottles,
> a 3 1/2 inch Japanese float ball, an 11-inch carrot, an
> antenna rod, a 150-watt light bulb, a cucumber, a screwdriver,
> four rubber balls, 72 jeweler's saws (all from one patient
> but not all at the same time although 29 were discovered on
> one occasion), a paperweight, an apple, an onion, a plastic
> toothbrush package, two bananas, a frozen pig's tail (it got
> stuck when it thawed), a 10-inch length of broomstick, an 18-
> inch umbrella handle and central rod, a plantain encased in a
> condom, two Vaseline jars, a whisky bottle with a cord
> attached, a teacup, an oil can, a 6x5 inch tool box weighing
> 22 ounces, a 6-inch stone weighing two pounds...
My sibling asked me yesterday if gerbils are really illegal in California.
No, wait, he asked me about *hamsters*. What's the scoop here? Is this
inspired by the well-known practice of the Hollywood glitterati called
"hamstering," in which hamsters are wrapped in duct tape and inserted up
ones' bunghole? Or are the hamsters banned for health reasons? Or are
they banned to prevent foreign hamsters from damaging the California
hamster harvest?
I'm asking less in terms of the actual legalities and more in terms of
"what rationales, if any, have you heard for the supposed ban of small
rodentia from California?"
Hamsters everywhere are dying to find out!
Joel "Slippery when wet" Furr
Robert Woodworth
>In article <1993Dec26...@ssrl01.slac.stanford.edu>, hag...@ssrl01.slac.stanford.edu writes:
>My sibling asked me yesterday if gerbils are really illegal in California.
>No, wait, he asked me about *hamsters*. What's the scoop here? Is this
>inspired by the well-known practice of the Hollywood glitterati called
>"hamstering," in which hamsters are wrapped in duct tape and inserted up
>ones' bunghole? Or are the hamsters banned for health reasons? Or are
>they banned to prevent foreign hamsters from damaging the California
>hamster harvest?
It was Jesse Helms and other members of the "right" who first brought
up "gerbiling". Neither I nor any of my gay friends ever heard of the
practice before the "right" began saying that we all did it.
Since then I have heard of it from time to time, but I am positive
that is because the right invented the idea and geve people the idea to try it.
>I'm asking less in terms of the actual legalities and more in terms of
>"what rationales, if any, have you heard for the supposed ban of small
>rodentia from California?"
Gerbils were banned in CA because of their incredible breeding prowess.
It was done to prevent the state from being over run with the critters.
I think the ban was passed in the 60s.
The right is now acusing the gay comunity of "mud rolling".
A defrocked (his license was yanked by the state) osteopath
is the medical expert in the hate video "Gay Agenda" whis claims that
most gays are into this "mud rolling"
(descriptions to be found in alt.sex.scatology)
Seriously, they call US the perverts ? I cant belive the stuff those
"NORMAL" people dream up.
D. Anton Sherwood
>No, wait, he asked me about *hamsters*. What's the scoop here?
I hadn't heard about illegal rodents, but I met someone who ran for
Assembly on a platform of (among other things) legalizing ferrets.
(Pat Wright chaired the California Libertarian Party last year.)
--
Disclaimer: The above is likely to refer to anecdotal evidence.
Anton Sherwood *\\* +1 415 267 0685 *\\* DAS...@netcom.com
Bureau of Making Sure You Eat Your Vegetables and Get Enough Sleep
d-(++) p+--- c++++- !l u e- m+@ s++/+ n+ h f g+ w++ t r- y+
Jazmyn Concolor
The department of Agriculture and the Fish & Game Dept. have made them
illegal due to posible crop dammage and the posibility of gerbils getting
loose and breeding in the wild. California appartantly has the right
climate for them to do soo..But then..Ferrets are illegal too.
California Department of Agriculture and the Fish & Game Dept. have their
collective heads up their asses..I've talked with various dept. heads over
the phone..:P
bill nelson
: I may be out of order here -- having just skipped back to the beginning
: of the thread -- but will someone who has access to MEDLINE please put
: all above and below writers out of their misery by searching the lit?
: A natural language search should do just fine -- try "anus" and rodent? ?"
It has been done - many times. There is nothing there.
Bill
John M. Price
: In article <2fqkfe$l...@char.vnet.net> jf...@char.vnet.net (Joel Furr) writes:
: >My sibling asked me yesterday if gerbils are really illegal in California.
: >No, wait, he asked me about *hamsters*. What's the scoop here?
Yes, gerbils, _Meriones unguiculatis_, are not legal as pets in CA. A
friend had hers confiscated at the border, in fact. I work with these
animals as research subjects. We are required to get permission from the
CA Dept. of Agriculture in order to have them around. As this is the
university of the state, it is not too much of a problem.
jmp.
: I hadn't heard about illegal rodents, but I met someone who ran for
David A. Kaye
: >No, wait, he asked me about *hamsters*. What's the scoop here? Is this
: >inspired by the well-known practice of the Hollywood glitterati called
What "well-known practice"? As to gerbils, they have been illegal in
California for years because they are pests and can wreak havoc on
California's agriculture if they escape. There was a nasty rumor started
by the far right about Richard Gere shoving gerbils up his ass. This was
done to attempt to discredit him since he was becoming (and putting
significant amounts of money) into Democratic party causes.
I have been around the gay sex scene for years and have never seen any
such practice. For gay men it's always been mentioned in the context of a
joke. Just look at it: What possible pleasure could any get out of
putting a living animal up their ass? It would claw them to death -- and
if it didn't the animal would die of suffocation and who wants to remove a
dead gerbil from their ass? Give me a break. Tell your "sibling" to stop
reading the right wing relgious TV programs and get an education.
Muffy Barkocy
In article <1993Dec29.0...@oracle.us.oracle.com> rwoo...@us.oracle.com (Robert Woodworth) writes:
>In article <2fqkfe$l...@char.vnet.net> jf...@char.vnet.net (Joel Furr) writes:
>>In article <1993Dec26...@ssrl01.slac.stanford.edu>, hag...@ssrl01.slac.stanford.edu writes:
>>My sibling asked me yesterday if gerbils are really illegal in California.
>>I'm asking less in terms of the actual legalities and more in terms of
>>"what rationales, if any, have you heard for the supposed ban of small
>>rodentia from California?"
>Gerbils were banned in CA because of their incredible breeding prowess.
>It was done to prevent the state from being over run with the critters.
>I think the ban was passed in the 60s.
More than the breeding, it's the chewing on the crops. A friend of mine
driving here had her gerbils rejected at the border. The quote from the
rules was that gerbils have "a perverse need to gnaw."
Muffy
--
Muffy Barkocy |~Peace bread work and freedom/are the
mu...@fish.com | best/we can acheive/and wearing badges
"amorous inclinations"? Aha! I'm | is not enough/in days like these~
not "not straight," I'm *inclined*.| -- Billy Bragg
Melinda Shore
>I have been around the gay sex scene for years and have never seen any
>such practice.
Well, you don't know *everything*, now do you. It's lesbians.
Lesbians and duct tape and nostrils.
--
Melinda Shore - Cornell Theory Center - sh...@tc.cornell.edu
Greg Parkinson
>In article <2frd91$g...@crl.crl.com> d...@crl.com (David A. Kaye) writes:
>>I have been around the gay sex scene for years and have never seen any
>>such practice.
>Well, you don't know *everything*, now do you. It's lesbians.
>Lesbians and duct tape and nostrils.
Gerbils, maybe, but I don't know *any* gay men
who could fit a lesbian up their bungholes,
duct-taped or not.
--
---------------------------------------------------------
Greg Parkinson New York, New York g...@panix.com
...beauty is convulsive or not at all...
Tim Fogarty
In article <MUFFY.93D...@bi.fish.com>, mu...@bi.fish.com (Muffy Barkocy) writes:
|>>>I'm asking less in terms of the actual legalities and more in terms of
|>>>"what rationales, if any, have you heard for the supposed ban of small
|>>>rodentia from California?"
|>
|>>Gerbils were banned in CA because of their incredible breeding prowess.
|>>It was done to prevent the state from being over run with the critters.
|>>I think the ban was passed in the 60s.
|>
|>More than the breeding, it's the chewing on the crops. A friend of mine
|>driving here had her gerbils rejected at the border. The quote from the
|>rules was that gerbils have "a perverse need to gnaw."
So the next question is why in California and not other agricultural states ?
1) we dont have a hard winter to keep their population in check
2) we do have mountains and desert to keep them from migrating into
the state naturally.
--
Tim Fogarty (FOG...@SIR-C.JPL.NASA.GOV)
John Switzer
>
>So the next question is why in California and not other agricultural states ?
>
>1) we dont have a hard winter to keep their population in check
>
>2) we do have mountains and desert to keep them from migrating into
> the state naturally.
The mountains and desert work now, of course, but not back in the
early days, when great gerbil herds roamed to and fro across the
Rockies. These hardy little beasts would form gigantic pyramids
which they'd use to cross the mountains, rivers, and other such
obstacles. The Indian legends which have survived from those days
tell of a giant, moving carpet that went down one side and up the
other of the Grand Canyon. And if you were unlucky to be caught
in a gerbil stampede, there wasn't even enough of you to bury.
What a sight those days must have been, no?
--
John Switzer | "Just be yourself . . . the best, cutest,
| quietest version of yourself. Definitely
Internet: j...@netcom.com | wear lip gloss."
CompuServe: 74076,1250 | -- Meryn Cadell, "The Sweater"
Clark Matthews
>
>Gerbils, maybe, but I don't know *any* gay men
>who could fit a lesbian up their bungholes,
>duct-taped or not.
>
But you can do ANYTHING with duct tape. I used to hold my car together
with it.
-------------------------------------------------------+----------------------
Clark C. Matthews / IT Programmer, Analyst | \\\\////
Georgetown University, Medical Library (Room GM-7) | \\\/// Never Again,
3900 Reservoir Road NW,Washington, DC 20007 | \\// Never Forget!
(202) 687-1035 matt...@magic.dml.georgetown.edu | \/
+------------------------------------------------------+---------------------+
| This is a private use account. All opinions expressed are those of |
! the accounts registered user and not those of Georgetown University. |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Joel Furr
Clark Matthews <matthewc@magic> wrote:
>In article <2fsnlk$l...@panix.com> g...@panix.com (Greg Parkinson) writes:
>>Gerbils, maybe, but I don't know *any* gay men
>>who could fit a lesbian up their bungholes,
>>duct-taped or not.
>>
>
>But you can do ANYTHING with duct tape. I used to hold my car together
>with it.
Didn't someone in the military once hold an entire SHIP together using
duct tape?
Joel "Seriously" Furr
Matt Clark
|>
|> My sibling asked me yesterday if gerbils are really illegal in California.
|> No, wait, he asked me about *hamsters*. What's the scoop here? Is this
|> inspired by the well-known practice of the Hollywood glitterati called
|> "hamstering," in which hamsters are wrapped in duct tape and inserted up
|> ones' bunghole?
The duct tape serves to keep the hamster from exploding when you stick yours
into THEIR bunghole.....
David DeLaney
>Did you say Duck tape?
>
Wabbit tape!
Dave "just another kind of rodent" DeLaney
David DeLaney
>fog...@sir-c.jpl.nasa.gov (Tim Fogarty) writes:
>>So the next question is why in California and not other agricultural states ?
>>2) we do have mountains and desert to keep them from migrating into
>> the state naturally.
>The mountains and desert work now, of course, but not back in the
>early days, when great gerbil herds roamed to and fro across the
>Rockies. These hardy little beasts would form gigantic pyramids
>which they'd use to cross the mountains, rivers, and other such
>obstacles. The Indian legends which have survived from those days
>tell of a giant, moving carpet that went down one side and up the
>other of the Grand Canyon. And if you were unlucky to be caught
>in a gerbil stampede, there wasn't even enough of you to bury.
>What a sight those days must have been, no?
Gee, I always wondered where that computer game's inspiration had come from...
Dave "when did giant wild rodents rule the earth?" DeLaney
John Flanagan
>who could fit a lesbian up their bungholes,
>duct-taped or not.
Lesbian gerbils.
--John
--
John Flanagan, UH Dept of Physics & Astro, 2505 Correa Rd, Honolulu HI 96822
"This is an estimable attitude in a second-year high-school student.
How estimable it is in one of those on whom the whole cultural future
of the country depends, I leave to the reader." --Norbert Wiener
Christopher J Burian
]In article <CItG4...@kazam.dml.georgetown.edu>,
Did it all the time. But we call it high-pressure tape. They patch the
Space Shuttle with it, too. Works better than them clunky old tiles.
Chris Burian
Tolthrye
>jf...@char.vnet.net (Joel Furr) writes:
>>Clark Matthews <matthewc@magic> wrote:
>>>But you can do ANYTHING with duct tape. I used to hold my car together
>>>with it.
>>Didn't someone in the military once hold an entire SHIP together using
>>duct tape?
>Did it all the time. But we call it high-pressure tape. They patch the
>Space Shuttle with it, too. Works better than them clunky old tiles.
I once heard of an east african airline that was banned from
flying into the states for, among other things, using duct
tape for airplane repairs.
Not much of an ad for the airline, but it's a hell of an
ad for duct-tape!
Personally, I use the stuff to fix holes in my pants pockets. :)
--
"I mean, no matter how you attempt to twist it, you can't prove that
other people are not hiding who they are when you claim that your
lack of ability to find out who I am means I am hiding something."
- some clueless net-dweeb, c. 1993
Robert Woodworth
At the time of the Alaskan gold rush, there was a ship that went to Alaska
with rabbits to sell to the miners for food. well the miners already had
plenty of game so the ship went back south and stopped in the San Juan Islands
off the coast of Washington State. The rabbits were turned loose and soon
the islands were overrun with rabbits. Finally ferrets were imported to
control the rabbits. The rabbits are long gon and guess what is out of
control now ?
"She swallowed the dog to get the cat, to get therat, to get the spider,
that wigglked and jiggled inside her. She swallowed the spider to get the fly
I dunno why she swallowed the fly...."
Mathemagician
>with it.
That's because duct tape is the Force:
It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the Universe together.
--
Brian Evans | "Bad mood, bad mood...Sure I'm in a bad mood!
bev...@carina.unm.edu | I haven't had sex...*EVER!*" -- Virgin Mary
]ke Eldberg
>duct tape?
Wouldn't surprise me at all... in a group I belong to (SCA), duct tape
is known as "the Force". You know, what keeps the universe together. :-)
]ke
Dan Bennett
|> Wouldn't surprise me at all... in a group I belong to (SCA), duct tape
|> is known as "the Force". You know, what keeps the universe together. :-)
|>
|> ]ke
universe togeather"
--
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dan Bennett (ben...@mcs.kent.edu)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Berry Kercheval
John> In article <2fsnlk$l...@panix.com> g...@panix.com (Greg
John> Parkinson) writes:
>> Gerbils, maybe, but I don't know *any* gay men who could fit a
>> lesbian up their bungholes, duct-taped or not.
How do you tell?
--
Berry Kercheval :: ke...@parc.xerox.com
"...start with Plan 9, which is free of sin..." -Mark V. Shaney
Mark Runyan
>>>My sibling asked me yesterday if gerbils are really illegal in California.
>>>"what rationales, if any, have you heard for the supposed ban of small
>>>rodentia from California?"
>>Gerbils were banned in CA because of their incredible breeding prowess.
Odd. Rats (another possible pet) also have a "need to gnaw" (though I
wouldn't know if it is "perverse"). The rat must wear its teeth
down because they are constantly growing (the various rat books all
outline how one can clip a rat's teeth if they don't gnaw enough).
And I'll bet rats are pretty prolific in the wild as well. I wonder
why they singled out gerbils.
Mark Runyan
Mary Shafer
Here at NASA Dryden, we call it Mach 3 tape. Flight test would be
impossible without it and Post-It notes.
The Army calls it 100-mile-per-hour tape and submariners call it EB
(Electric Boat, the GE subsidiary that makes submarines) tape.
When I was in Antarctica, I noticed that the Ski-Doo was stuck togeter
with duct tape, too. It's on all seven continents.
--
Mary Shafer DoD #0362 KotFR sha...@ursa-major.spdcc.com
William G. Sinkins
|> Daryll_...@magic-bbs.corp.apple.com writes:
|> >Did you say Duck tape?
|> >
|> Wabbit tape!
|>
DUCK TAPE!!!!
Bill 'Looney Tune' Sinkins
and not a mere Device
: In article <2fsnlk$l...@panix.com> g...@panix.com (Greg Parkinson) writes:
: >Gerbils, maybe, but I don't know *any* gay men
: >who could fit a lesbian up their bungholes,
: >duct-taped or not.
: But you can do ANYTHING with duct tape. I used to hold my car together
: with it.
OK, now this has become ridiculous. Gerbils was one thing; lesbians
a little harder to believe, as Mr. Parkinson pointed out. But please,
gay men putting duct-taped CARS up their bungholes? Frankly, I don't
buy it, not a bit.
: Clark C. Matthews / IT Programmer, Analyst | \\\\////
D.J.Schaeffer | The Todal looks like a blob of glup. It makes
go...@world.std.com | a sound like rabbits screaming and smells
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ of old, unopened rooms.
James Thurber, _The 13 Clocks_
and not a mere Device
I suppose placing duct-taped cars up one's bunghole would qualify as
autoeroticism...?
DENN...@delphi.com
>Odd. Rats (another possible pet) also have a "need to gnaw" (though I
We make fine pets. And a need to know.
>wouldn't know if it is "perverse"). The rat must wear its teeth
>down because they are constantly growing (the various rat books all
>outline how one can clip a rat's teeth if they don't gnaw enough).
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Just take a little off the back and sides, please.
>And I'll bet rats are pretty prolific in the wild as well. I wonder
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Boy, I'll say! And in the tame, too!
>why they singled out gerbils.
>Mark Runyan
Gerbils are not allowed into California because they are NOT MELLOW
ENOUGH. Gerbils are anal-retentive little rigid rodent nazis
who like to complain about your attitude and also like to
post in *.sci* newsgroups and leave their noisome little
gerbil turds every where. That's why they often end up in
someone's chocolate channel because it is their karma.
Be cool. Be a survivor. Be a rat. California knows!
t "paid for by the Rats Deserve Better Press Council" c
--
( )_( ) "Drag racin' for pinks slips on the
\. ./ Information Superhighway"
_=.=_
"
Ted Pederson
person had seen just about everything. I don't think I ever heard a
single story involving gerbils, though. That doesn't mean that
people, homo and hetero, don't attempt some strange sexual feats.
Among a few of the best stories:
Two men come into emergency, one with a ketchup bottle in his rectum,
who is in severe pain. Luckily, doctors relax his muscles and remove
the bottle without much trouble, and the embarassed pair leaves. The
same day the men return, and lo and behold, the same guy is gripped
with pain, thanks to that same bottle-o'-Heintz, stuck in the same
orifice.
A man came into emergency with hardened plaster in his rear (what was
he/they thinking)?! The guy went right to the OR.
Police are first to the scene where a man has his penis stuck in a
rusty pipe (in a public park, I believe). After a lengthy time (with
some great conversation I wish I could remember), a fire truck is
called. The man is horrified upon seeing a fireman getting out of
truck with "jaws-of-life" device. The man is "set free" without
trouble...
* * *
There were some other great stories from the psyche ward. Most of
these stories had enough detail to sound true. I could contact the
person for further verification of which, if any, of these events
the person had firsthand knowledge of. Anyway, I am aware of the
possibility that med students have their own "legends".
dv8
It might seem a little hard to believe, but this is a TRUE story:
Last summer as I was driving to California with Digger (my long time pet
and companion, pure-bred, pedigreed, Peruvian Golden Gerbil), a red
convertable Porsch 928 with 2 of the most beautiful lesbians passed me
from behind doing nearly 100 m.p.h. I spied a couple of rolls of duct
tape in the back seat and took off in hot pursuit even though I was
pulling my Ski-Doo on a trailer. Hey, I know a good time when I see one.
We must have been doing 120 when we blew past the Gerbil Immigration
Prevention Roadblock and Digger had his head out the window whistling at
the dykes. The state trooper was after us like a stink after a vart. He
was looking *real good* on his Harley 1100 special
edition Trooper Bike. So I pulled over. The ladies did as well and
throwing their car into reverse, backed up to where I was now eyeing the
huge bulge in the Troopers tight black pants.
"Nice Gerbil" he said.
"Nice snake" I said.
He grinned. I grinned. The Ladies grinned.
Digger grinned.
After we were done grinning he said, "you were going kinda fast back there".
"yup" I said.
"Kinda looked like you were chasing these ladies" Trooper said.
"yup" I said.
Then One of the two ladies (I think her name was Vic, leaned over into
the Porsch with just a hint af cheek peeking out of her shorts and came
up with "THE DUCT TAPE".
Digger went nuts and climbed on top of my head and started chattering.
Vic ripped of her shirt, then Cheryls, then 2 feet of duct tape and
slapped it across Cheryl's tit's.
Cheryl took the duct tape and ripped off 3 feet and wrapped around Vics
torso as well.
Vic removed cheryls short's and replaced them with strips of duct tape.
Leaving a slit that was just big enough.
Cheryl covered Vics face in tape.
Vic taped Cheryl's forearm to her thigh.
Cheryl taped Vic's head to her groin.
Soon there was nothing but a big pulsating silver mound that was oozing
juice and making sucking noises.
The trooper stared. I stared. Digger had to sit down and put his head
between his little knees for a minute.
Then I started the ski-doo.
And stripped.
And asked if I might borrow the duct tape.
What was left of it anyway. The ladies didn't seem to mind, but that
might have been because they were busy.
I walked over to the Trooper and sucked his tongue out of his face while
expertly removing everything but his gun belt with one hand while I
tapped his wrists together behind his back with my other hand. I
then leaned him over the idling ski-doo. Digger then jumped onto the end
of my rock hard dick and I gunned the Ski-Doo and Digger showed everyone
just how my Champion Peruvian Pedigree Golden Gerbil got his name.
Looking back at this incident, I realize just how bitter I was over the
loss of Digger. I told a lot of people that my gerbil was confiscated,
but the real truth of the matter is that the State Trooper was such a
tight ass Digger couldn't get out.
So the next time a Trooper pulls you over and he seem's to have something
stuck up his ass, make sure your duct tape is under the seat.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
= A good spanking is worth being bad for. dv8 (shock me, I dare ya')=
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
MegaZone
sha...@spdcc.com (Mary Shafer) shaped the electrons to say:
>The Army calls it 100-mile-per-hour tape and submariners call it EB
>(Electric Boat, the GE subsidiary that makes submarines) tape.
That's General Dynamics in Groton CT, not GE. General Electric does
run the Knolls Atomic Power Labs in Niskayuna NY for the DOE. Which is
where reactor development is done...
>When I was in Antarctica, I noticed that the Ski-Doo was stuck togeter
>with duct tape, too. It's on all seven continents.
And it is even used for its original purpose! DUCT WORK!
Which is why it has that gray shape that belnds in with galvinzed sheet
steel, and it is so sticky. Most sheet steel has oils and such on it
from the rolling process. Duct tape is used to seal connections in
ducts for heating systems.
"I worked in a sheet metal shop for several years... And I have the
scars to prove it..."
--
mega...@wpi.wpi.edu mega...@world.std.com mega...@hotblack.schunix.dmc.com
"I have one prejudice, and that is against stupidity. Use your mind, think!"
Moderator: WPI anime FTP site, 130.215.24.1 /anime, the anime FanFic archive;
rec.arts.anime.stories, questions to anime-dojin...@wpi.wpi.edu
GTW d-- -p+ c++(++++) l u+ e+ m+(*)@ s++/+ !n h- f+ !g w+ t+@ r+@ y+(*)
David R Sewell
>The mountains and desert work now, of course, but not back in the
>early days, when great gerbil herds roamed to and fro across the
>Rockies. These hardy little beasts would form gigantic pyramids
>which they'd use to cross the mountains, rivers, and other such
>obstacles. The Indian legends which have survived from those days
>tell of a giant, moving carpet that went down one side and up the
>other of the Grand Canyon. And if you were unlucky to be caught
>in a gerbil stampede, there wasn't even enough of you to bury.
>What a sight those days must have been, no?
Yep. About the closest post-settlement phenomenon was the massive frog
drives they had in the Central Valley, when the California frog farmers
rounded up their herds to ship them back East for the fancy restaurants.
You can read all about it in Owen Wister's "The Virginian." :)
--
David Sewell * ds...@gas.uug.arizona.edu | "Where the earth is dry, the
Associate Editor, RADIOCARBON: An International | soul is wisest and best."
Journal of Cosmogenic Isotope Research | --Heraclitus
David Salvador Flores
>wil...@unix1.circ.gwu.edu (Marc Wiles) writes:
>Really? And to think that people like Cecil Adams who checked
>into the medical journals are able to come up with findings of
>stuff up the rectum such as:
>
> "a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, an axe handle, a
> 9-inch zucchini, countless dildos and vibrators including
> one 14-inch model complete with two D-cell batteries, a
> plastic spatula, a 9-inch water bottle, a deoderant bottle,
> a Coke bottle, a large bottle cap, numerous other bottles,
> a 3 1/2 inch Japanese float ball, an 11-inch carrot, an
> antenna rod, a 150-watt light bulb, a cucumber, a screwdriver,
> four rubber balls, 72 jeweler's saws (all from one patient
> but not all at the same time although 29 were discovered on
> one occasion), a paperweight, an apple, an onion, a plastic
> toothbrush package, two bananas, a frozen pig's tail (it got
> stuck when it thawed), a 10-inch length of broomstick, an 18-
> inch umbrella handle and central rod, a plantain encased in a
> condom, two Vaseline jars, a whisky bottle with a cord
> attached, a teacup, an oil can, a 6x5 inch tool box weighing
> 22 ounces, a 6-inch stone weighing two pounds...a baby powder
> can, a test tube, a ballpoint pen, a peanut butter jar, candles,
> baseballs, a sand-filled bicycle inner tube, sewing needles, a
> flashlight, a half-filled tobacco pouch, a turnip, a pair of
> glasses, a hard boiled egg, a carborundum grindstone (with
> handle), a suitcase key, a syringe, a file, tumblers and glasses,
> a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink, and so on."
>
> -- _More of the Straight Dope_, pp. 226-218.
Geez... who was the poor guy. And howd' he get it all up there?
Big_Dave
P.S. This kind of reminds me of the scene in Jaws where
they open up the tigershark.
>
>Terry "That'd be the butt, Bob" Chan
>--
>Energy and Environment Division | Internet: TWC...@lbl.gov
>Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory | If "pro" is the opposite of "con,"
>Berkeley, California USA 94720 | then what's the opposite of "contusion?"
Patrick Schaaf
Couldn't this be used to move Venus into an earth-like orbit?
bof (why do I post this?)
>Chris Burian
MegaZone
>Wouldn't surprise me at all... in a group I belong to (SCA), duct tape
>is known as "the Force". You know, what keeps the universe together. :-)
The whole thing is:
Duct tape is a lot like the force. It has a dark side and a light side,
and it holds the universe together.
Articulate Mandible
In article <2fvfbk$s...@news.u.washington.edu>, d...@carson.u.washington.edu (dv8) writes:
|>It might seem a little hard to believe, but this is a TRUE story:
Are those words to live by, or what?
--
Nolan "loves a good slogan" Hinshaw
Internet: no...@twg.com Dingalingnet: (415)962-7197
Duct tape - it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe
together.
"This is of course a flawed and provincial perception, but it's mine."
Geoff Miller, alt.peeves
David DeLaney
>Clark Matthews <matthewc@magic> wrote:
>>But you can do ANYTHING with duct tape. I used to hold my car together
>>with it.
>That's because duct tape is the Force:
>It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the Universe together.
No no, that's *chocolate* you're thinking of.
ObSex(Ecstasy)/Bestiality: chocolate-covered ants.
ObUL: Has anyone brought up the UL about killing someone by mostly burying them
and smearing them with honey and letting the bugs have them recently?
ObLegal: And what would be the penalty for such a crime?
ObMotss: Chocolate-covered lesbian gerbils.
Dave "detecting subject drift in the northwest quadrant, Captain" DeLaney
John Leonard
>In article <2ftop2$b...@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>,
>Christopher J Burian <cbu...@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu> wrote:
>>jf...@char.vnet.net (Joel Furr) writes:
>>
>>]In article <CItG4...@kazam.dml.georgetown.edu>,
>>]Clark Matthews <matthewc@magic> wrote:
>>]>But you can do ANYTHING with duct tape. I used to hold my car together
>>]>with it.
>>
>>]Didn't someone in the military once hold an entire SHIP together using
>>]duct tape?
>>
>>Did it all the time. But we call it high-pressure tape. They patch the
>>Space Shuttle with it, too. Works better than them clunky old tiles.
>Here at NASA Dryden, we call it Mach 3 tape. Flight test would be
>impossible without it and Post-It notes.
>The Army calls it 100-mile-per-hour tape and submariners call it EB
>(Electric Boat, the GE subsidiary that makes submarines) tape.
For what it's worth, when I was in the Air Force we called it F-4 tape.
It's what made flight possible for *many* of them.
>When I was in Antarctica, I noticed that the Ski-Doo was stuck togeter
>with duct tape, too. It's on all seven continents.
>--
>Mary Shafer DoD #0362 KotFR sha...@ursa-major.spdcc.com
--
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
John Leonard * jo...@cae.cdx.mot.com
Motorola/Codex * standard disclaimers apply
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Barbara Hamel
In a previous article, go...@world.std.com (and not a mere Device) says:
>OK, now this has become ridiculous. Gerbils was one thing; lesbians
>a little harder to believe, as Mr. Parkinson pointed out. But please,
>gay men putting duct-taped CARS up their bungholes? Frankly, I don't
>buy it, not a bit.
You don't want to buy a used car? Not even now -- during the great
year-end clearout?
Barbara "it certainly would be a used car after being wrapped in duct tape
and then ... ah ... parked in the back garage" Hamel
--
Barbara Hamel ag...@freenet.carleton.ca Ottawa, Canada
David DeLaney
>d...@martha.utcc.utk.edu (David DeLaney) writes:
>|> Daryll_...@magic-bbs.corp.apple.com writes:
>|> >Did you say Duck tape?
>|> >
>|> Wabbit tape!
>|>
>DUCK TAPE!!!!
>
Dave "There, I've run rings around you logically, dearie" DeLaney
Lee Laniear
>Someone wanted to bring this to the mil group in the first place, fine...
>sha...@spdcc.com (Mary Shafer) shaped the electrons to say:
>>The Army calls it 100-mile-per-hour tape and submariners call it EB
>>(Electric Boat, the GE subsidiary that makes submarines) tape.
>That's General Dynamics in Groton CT, not GE. General Electric does
>run the Knolls Atomic Power Labs in Niskayuna NY for the DOE. Which is
>where reactor development is done...
>>When I was in Antarctica, I noticed that the Ski-Doo was stuck togeter
>>with duct tape, too. It's on all seven continents.
>And it is even used for its original purpose! DUCT WORK!
I am under the impression (possible mastakenly) that it was actually
invented in the Pacific during World War II. I recall this from a story
about the histroy of it on National Public Radio in the early part of the
year. Also, some guy who either was there, knew someone who was there,
or knew someone who knew someone... said that the name is actually DUCK
tape not DUCT tape. The roll I'm looking at now (I always have Duck tape
handy when I use Internet) says DUCK brand tape (DUCK is a registered TM).
Lee
Joe Beeler
>I hadn't heard about illegal rodents, but I met someone who ran for
>Assembly on a platform of (among other things) legalizing ferrets.
>(Pat Wright chaired the California Libertarian Party last year.)
There was also a demostration held in NYC on behalf of ferrets (as
reported on CNN 3 - 4 weeks ago, as I remember). It seems the city
government there was considering banning ferrets from NY because of
the fear of the ferrets biting people.
--
Joe Beeler jo...@gate.net jo...@society.com
I'll never forget the last words of my Grandfather: "The Bus!"
- Emo
Doug Sewell
Enough is enough... PLEASE take this to a smaller set of newsgroups....
--
"Curse you, Batman! May you fall down a flight of stairs and break
every tooth in your head except one, and in that may you have a toothache
for the rest of your life, which won't be very long!" | do...@cc.ysu.edu
-- King Tut, Episode 88 (Batman's Waterloo) | do...@ysub.bitnet
David DeLaney
possibly because they felt they had a chance of keeping them out of the state
entirely, as opposed to the rats (which gained footholds on most of the
City Councils long ago, due to California's many port cities)?
Dave "not that I'd want to insult the rats" DeLaney
Terry Chan
-To follow on to my immediately previous message...
-
-I suppose placing duct-taped cars up one's bunghole would qualify as
-autoeroticism...?
Yeah but I wonder if it works better than Bondo?
Terry "Fill 'er up!" Chan
--
Energy and Environment Division | Internet: TWC...@lbl.gov
Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory | Remember, angels fry because
Berkeley, California USA 94720 | they shake their woks lightly.
Terry Chan
people have made comments such as:
->>>"what rationales, if any, have you heard for the supposed ban of small
->>>rodentia from California?"
-The rat must wear its teeth
-down because they are constantly growing (the various rat books all
-outline how one can clip a rat's teeth if they don't gnaw enough).
-And I'll bet rats are pretty prolific in the wild as well. I wonder
-why they singled out gerbils.
Rats are pretty prolific in the wild, but they're also already
out there. It's been pretty difficult to find actual documentation
but it seems to be the consensus that states with large investments
in agriculture or (e.g., California) with what are considered to be
relatively more fragile ecosystems (e.g., Hawaii) have restrictions
on classes of fruits and vegetables and of animals that can be
imported. Ostensibly as a means of protecting the environment.
I'll note that the redoubtable little gator posted in February
of 1992 that she that gerbils were banned in both California and
Texas because they were desert animals. This was in the late
1960s, quite a few years before the gerbiling UL was on the scene.
But I want to point out that California law does not single out
gerbils. As any one who has read the FAQ knows, gerbils are
prohibited under California Reg. Title 14, Sec. 671 (c)(2)(J) 1
which covers "Importation, transportaion, and possssion of
Wild Animals." This ban reads that some of the following
species may not be imported, transported or possessed without
permit:
>(b) Class Mammalia - Mammals
> . . .
>(10) Order Rodentia - Hamsters, field mice, voles, muskrats, gerbils,
>squirrels, chipmunks, woodchicks and prarie dogs.
>(A) All species prohibited except:
> 1. Ondatrazi bethica (Muskrats) . . .
> 2. Myocastor coypus (Nutria) . . .
> 3. Domesticated races of golden hamsters . . .
> 4. Domesticated races of guinea pigs . . .
> 5. Domesticated races of chinchillas . . .
The above work was courtesy of Ken Sherriff and especially
Terry Carroll.
Terry "Heeeyyyy...sit on it! Ooops! Wrong thread!" Chan
Curt Schumacher
: Ferrets were mentioned earlier in tyhe thread.
: At the time of the Alaskan gold rush, there was a ship that went to Alaska
: with rabbits to sell to the miners for food. well the miners already had
: plenty of game so the ship went back south and stopped in the San Juan Islands
: off the coast of Washington State. The rabbits were turned loose and soon
: the islands were overrun with rabbits. Finally ferrets were imported to
: control the rabbits. The rabbits are long gon and guess what is out of
: control now ?
Interesting story, but can you vaerify it? The only ferrets that I know
of in North America are teh Black Footed Ferret, which was thought to be
extinct but is now making a slow comeback; and the domestic ferret, which
is sold in pet stores and is not native to North America.
The domestic ferret was domesticated by the Egyptians, before thy "tamed"
the domestic cat. Ferrets have frequently been used to hunt rats, rabbits
and other such prey. However, they have to be specifically trained for
this, because they lost their natural hunting instincts long ago. If
domestic ferrets were let loose in the wild, very few, if any, would
survive and a breeding colony would be very unlikely. Especially if,
as you say, their main prey (the rabbits) were long gone.
Kurt
5150
>cbu...@ux4.cso.uiuc.edu (Christopher J Burian) writes:
)>]In article <CItG4...@kazam.dml.georgetown.edu>,
)>]Clark Matthews <matthewc@magic> wrote:
)>]>But you can do ANYTHING with duct tape. I used to hold my car together
)>]>with it.
)>]Didn't someone in the military once hold an entire SHIP together using
)>]duct tape?
)>Did it all the time. But we call it high-pressure tape. They patch the
)>Space Shuttle with it, too. Works better than them clunky old tiles.
>Couldn't this be used to move Venus into an earth-like orbit?
Duct tape has inertia.
5150
--
head at your feet / fool to your crown
fist on my plate / swallowed it down
enmity gaged / united by fear
tried to endure / what i could not forgive
Chad Gowin
> Lesbian gerbils.
ke...@reynaldo.PARC.Xerox.Com (Berry Kercheval) writes:
> How do you tell?
They wear litle flannel shirts.
Electronically: ch...@metronet.com
Physically : Dallas, Texas, USA
Mentally : James Brown's Celebrity Hot Tub
Prohibition didn't work then, it's not working now.
jwil...@news.delphi.com
>>Didn't someone in the military once hold an entire SHIP together using
>>duct tape?
>Wouldn't surprise me at all... in a group I belong to (SCA), duct tape
>is known as "the Force". You know, what keeps the universe together. :-)
I use it at work to hold a floor scrubber together. We believe duct tape
and bale wire can fix anything. My car also has a bit on it, as well as
some other household stuff./. I keep a roll always present for any need
that may arise. Wonderful stuff.
Thomas Voirol
> In <2fsjbu$2...@fitz.TC.Cornell.EDU> sh...@dinah.tc.cornell.edu (Melinda Shore) writes:
> >In article <2frd91$g...@crl.crl.com> d...@crl.com (David A. Kaye) writes:
> >>I have been around the gay sex scene for years and have never seen any
> >>such practice.
> >Well, you don't know *everything*, now do you. It's lesbians.
> >Lesbians and duct tape and nostrils.
> Gerbils, maybe, but I don't know *any* gay men
> who could fit a lesbian up their bungholes,
> duct-taped or not.
Or up their nostrils, for that matter...
_
+-----------------------------+ +-----//------------------------+
| Thomas M. Voirol | | _ // Zurich, Switzerland |
| Certified Amiga Magician | | \X/isual Magic Digital Arts |
+-----------------------------+ +-------------------------------+
Keith J. Farmer
>
>>Wouldn't surprise me at all... in a group I belong to (SCA), duct tape
>>is known as "the Force". You know, what keeps the universe together. :-)
Forgive me, but I have a sudden urge to shout...
AN TIR!
*chuckle*
Galen Drake, mka Keith Farmer
Shires of Hraesvelgr and Fire Mountain Keep
Kingdom of An Tir
Fred J. McCall 480-1832
: >]In article <CItG4...@kazam.dml.georgetown.edu>,
: >]Clark Matthews <matthewc@magic> wrote:
: >]>But you can do ANYTHING with duct tape. I used to hold my car together
: >]>with it.
: The Army calls it 100-mile-per-hour tape and submariners call it EB
: (Electric Boat, the GE subsidiary that makes submarines) tape.
Actually I believe the 'usual' phrase is EB Green (from the color of
the non-sticky side). Did GE buy the Electric Boat facility in
Groton? I thought that belonged to General Dynamics.
[Hello again, Mary. We seem to meet in the strangest places.]
--
"Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live
in the real world." -- Mary Shafer, NASA Ames Dryden
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fred....@dseg.ti.com - I don't speak for others and they don't speak for me.
Nick Nussbaum
>mega...@coal.WPI.EDU (MegaZone) writes:
>
>>Someone wanted to bring this to the mil group in the first place, fine...
>
>>>with duct tape, too. It's on all seven continents.
>
>>And it is even used for its original purpose! DUCT WORK!
>
>I am under the impression (possible mastakenly) that it was actually
>invented in the Pacific during World War II. I recall this from a story
>about the histroy of it on National Public Radio in the early part of the
>year. Also, some guy who either was there, knew someone who was there,
>or knew someone who knew someone... said that the name is actually DUCK
>tape not DUCT tape. The roll I'm looking at now (I always have Duck tape
>handy when I use Internet) says DUCK brand tape (DUCK is a registered TM).
There's duct tape ( invented for ventilation sheet metal usage) which
is usually aluminized; duck tape ( made from slightly stronger cotton
duck cloth sometimes plasticized )
and gaffer tape ( used for sticking lights on sets and such )
The last seems to have slightly thicker adhesive and is paintable,
which is useful in theater/movie use.
Of course, you may ask for one and get another. Just the risks
of convergent evolution.
--
Nick Nussbaum ni...@eskimo.com PO 4738 Seattle,WA 98104
Stan Jones
porch of a house in downtown Ottawa. The contents of said trunk were
the body of a male prostitute. Arrested sortly thereafter were the
resident of the house and his brother, both of whom practiced the same
trade. Apparantly the police received a tip that told them what they
could find where. The police got a search warrant based on this tip
and in the list of things they were looking for was .... DUCT TAPE.
Bill Duetschler
K > >>>>> "John" == John Flanagan <jo...@uhheph.phys.hawaii.edu> writes:
K > John> In article <2fsnlk$l7g#panix.com> g...@panix.com (Greg
K > John> Parkinson) writes:
K > >> Gerbils, maybe, but I don't know *any* gay men who could fit a
K > >> lesbian up their bungholes, duct-taped or not.
K > John> Lesbian gerbils.
K > How do you tell?
Finding any/all of the following in their cage:
1) Copies of _On Our Backs_, _A Taste Of Latex_, and other
politically correct porn.
2) Tapes/CDs by k.d. lang, Melissa Etheridge, and The Indigo Girls.
3) Artwork by Georgia O'Keeffe.
4) Appearing on Howard Stern's Dial-A-Date.
Well, you get the idea.
Bill "if women can be fag hags, then I'm a 'bean bag" Duetschler
--
/*********************************************************************
* *
* "Really obnoxious huge warlord-esque .sig containing the name *
* 'Vicki Robinson.' *
* *
*********************************************************************/
---
* JABBER v1.2 * God is real, unless declared integer.
Paul Tomblin
>KE...@PARC.XEROX.COM (Berry Kercheval) writes:
>K > >>>>> "John" == John Flanagan <jo...@uhheph.phys.hawaii.edu> writes:
>K > John> Lesbian gerbils.
>K > How do you tell?
>Finding any/all of the following in their cage:
>1) Copies of _On Our Backs_, _A Taste Of Latex_, and other
> politically correct porn.
>2) Tapes/CDs by k.d. lang, Melissa Etheridge, and The Indigo Girls.
>3) Artwork by Georgia O'Keeffe.
>4) Appearing on Howard Stern's Dial-A-Date.
Hey! I've got tapes by k.d.lang, and a copy of "Delta of Venus". What does
that make me?
Mind you, there was the time I told my girlfriend of the time "k.d.lang is
going to be on TV tonight. I love her", and she replyed "yeah, I loved her
once, but it was a one night stand and she never called afterwards..."
This was about 6 months before k.d. came out of the closet.
Paul "not that it was any great suprise when she did" Tomblin
--
Paul Tomblin. In Vicki Robinson we trust.
"When viewed from the proper perspective, this thread is actually just a bunch
of people being silly." - Daniel Lottero
William G. Sinkins
|> wsin...@mbcr.bcm.tmc.edu (William G. Sinkins) writes:
|> >d...@martha.utcc.utk.edu (David DeLaney) writes:
|> >|> Daryll_...@magic-bbs.corp.apple.com writes:
|> >|> >Did you say Duck tape?
|> >|> >
|> >|> Wabbit tape!
|> >|>
|> >DUCK TAPE!!!!
|> >
|> heh heh heh... WABBIT TAPE (!)^6
|>
|> Dave "There, I've run rings around you logically, dearie" DeLaney
WABBIT TAPE (!)E+10
Bill 'Oooh, intercourse the penguins!' Sinkins
Wendy Richardson
>Enough is enough... PLEASE take this to a smaller set of newsgroups....
Are you kidding? I love it. Intellectual discussions on the net.
1st time.
Wendy
Lee Rudolph
>Hey! I've got tapes by k.d.lang, and a copy of "Delta of Venus". What does
>that make me?
Yeah, well, I cooked a Thanksgiving goose for Suzie Bright's father Bill
once, so there.
Lee "catering to all tastes" Rudolph