In The News
snopes
The Guardian
February 18, 1995
URBAN MYTHS: 127 BEYOND A CHOKE
A FRIEND of a friend was taken out for the evening by her husband to
celebrate their wedding anniversary. They decided to try a new local bistro
and selected one of their more exotic dishes. The waiter initially raised his
eyebrows, but then claimed it would be no problem.
Half way through the meal the woman began to choke and coughed up a
small, oddly-shaped bone into her napkin. Embarrassed, she blew her nose as a
diversionary device and slyly popped the serviette into her pocket.
The rest of the meal was marvellous, rounded off by a superb dessert and
frothy cappuccino. The bill wasn't too steep either, and as they meandered
back romantically, arm in arm, her husband suggested a night cap
at the local.
Snuggled up in the corner next to a gaggle of old codgers, the bloke
supped his light and bitter as his happy spouse sipped her Bailey's.
Suddently the woman felt a sneeze coming on and whipped out her napkin.
The bone from the meal tumbled out and clattered across the oak table, coming
to rest against the leather elbow patch of one of the old fellows. As it
happended, he was a retired doctor. He picked up the bone and examined it
closely. A hush fell upon his ancient companions as they awaited his report.
Eventually he spoke.
'Good God,' gasped the venerable medic, 'I don't think I'll eat there in
a hurry. Unless I'm very much mistaken, madam, I think you'll find this is a
metacarpal - or a human knuckle to you . . .'
snopes
February 13, 1995 Monday
TALES OF LSD-LACED TATTOOS ARE DISCOUNTED BY EXPERTS
The rumor surfaces from time to time in communities throughout the United
States, and in its latest incarnation it is sowing anxiety among hundreds of
parents in the New Orleans area.
Their children, warns a one-page letter circulating through churches,
schools and business offices, are being lured into using the powerful
hallucinogen LSD by pushers who soak the drug into stick-on tattoos sometimes
bearing the image of popular cartoon characters.
The rumor, like most rumors, has a slender basis in a misunderstood
reality.
LSD, lysergic acid diethylamide, is sold in the area in the "blotter acid"
form, a sheet of paper, somewhat resembling a sheet of stamps, each square
impregnanted with a dose of the drug. And some dealers adorn each square with
a design or cartoon character, said John Rook, a spokesman for the FBI's
Louisiana office.
Users must lick or eat a square of blotter acid in order to be affected by
it.
But can LSD also be absorbed through the skin from a stick-on tattoo?
Not without powerful chemical assistance, said Dr. Gantt Galloway, chief
of pharmacologic research at the Haight-Ashbury Clinic in San Francisco.
Maybe if you mixed it with gasoline or alcohol and rubbed it abrasively,
intoxication could occur through skin contact, said Galloway, whose specialty
is hallucinogenic drugs. If your hands were soaked in the stuff and you
rubbed your eyes or got it on your food, intoxication might occur, he said.
But from a child's stick-on tattoo, even in the unlikely event it were laced
with LSD? No way.
Rook and Galloway suggest that the confusion over the stick-on tattoos
arises from the similarity of some tattoo imagery to the cartoons associated
with blotter acid. This has fostered the mistaken fears that the tattoos can
cause LSD intoxication.
No stick-on tattoos have been found to be contaminated with LSD, Rook
said. And Dr. Brobson Lutz, New Orleans health director, said there have been
no reported instances of children being inadvertently exposed to the drug.
That exposure is possible through stick-on tattoos "verges on an urban myth,"
Lutz said.
If concern about exposure to LSD through tattoos is misplaced, the LSD
symptoms listed on the flier are accurate, said Mona Brown, press officer
with the National Institute on Drug Abuse in Rockville, Md.
Hallucinations, vomiting, uncontrollable laughter, and changes in
temperature and mood are typical LSD reactions.
Rather than just being scared by the warnings, Brown suggested that
parents use them as an opportunity to educate themselves and their children
about drugs.
LSD use among young people has been increasing nationwide, she said.
Last June, five people in Gretna were arrested under federal charges of
operating a major LSD ring, in which the drug was applied to small,
perforated pieces of paper with cartoon characters on them, including Felix
the Cat.
The Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office was involved in the bust, but Maj.
Tony Soto, head of the parish's narcotics division, called it an isolated
case.
Some of the fliers warning about LSD tattoos that were distributed
recently at Mater Dolorosa Church on South Carrollton Avenue came from St.
Peter Claver School on North Prieur Street.
Don Boucree, St. Peter Claver's principal, said he distributed copies of
the warning to his nearly 300 students and sent the flier to other schools
that requested it. An acquaintance gave it to him after getting a copy
circulating at a Marrero public school, he said.
The fliers also warn that some stick-on tattoos are laced with strychnine.
FBI spokesman Rook said national crime information networks warn of this
possibility, but that he hasn't encountered any such incidents locally.
snopes
The Guardian
February 11, 1995
URBAN MYTHS 126: PAVLOV'S DOG AND BONE
A FRIEND of a friend wrote to her telephone company to register a
vehement and most unusual complaint. The elderly widow was forever being
scolded by her relatives for not answering her phone. She claimed they never
rang. When the telephone did ring, it was invariably preceded by three loud
barks, in intervals, from her dog in the yard. Yet when she got to the
receiver there would be no one on the line.
'How does my Spot know when the phone's going to ring,' fumed the irate
customer, 'when you don't even feed my calls through?' An investigator duly
arrived. He began testing the woman's hearing by muttering insults under
his breath. Each time, she shouted, 'I heard that,' so the fault clearly
didn't lie with her. The handset was functioning normally as well.
Eventually he hit on the problem. He discovered that the dog in the yard had
been fastened to a post that also carried the telephone cable. The animal's
chain had worn through the cable and chafed at the core, which carried a
small electrical current to operate the system.
Each time someone rang up it caused a fur-raising, tingling sensation in
the dog's neck, causing it to jump up and bark.
On the third pulse, the cumulative stimulation reached the mutt's
bladder. The resultant puddle connecting with the wire was somehow enough to
complete a circuit, and the phone would then ring for hours on end of its own
volition.
The engineer made good the repair. 'There,' he said, patting the dog. 'No
charge.'
snopes
Real Newspaper Headlines
------------------------------
POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED
DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE
SURVIVOR OF SIAMESE TWINS JOINS PARENTS
FARMER BILL DIES IN HOUSE
IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS
STUD TIRES OUT
PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE
PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
SOVIET VIRGIN LANDS SHORT OF GOAL AGAIN
BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLAND ISLANDS
LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN MUSHROOMS
EYE DROPS OFF SHELF
TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS
REAGAN WINS ON BUDGET, BUT MORE LIES AHEAD
SQUAD HELPS DOG BITE VICTIM
SHOT OFF WOMAN'S LEG HELPS NICKLAUS TO 66
ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX
PLANE TOO CLOSE TO GROUND, CRASH PROBE TOLD
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE
TWO SOVIET SHIPS COLLIDE, ONE DIES
2 SISTERS REUNITED AFTER 18 YEARS IN CHECKOUT COUNTER
KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE FOR SECOND TIME IN 10 YEARS
NEVER WITHHOLD HERPES INFECTION FROM LOVED ONE
DRUNKEN DRIVERS PAID $1000 IN '84
WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE
IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST A WHILE
COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES
MAN IS FATALLY SLAIN
ENFIELD COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE
Ken Kinser
: Somebody sent me this list of "actual headlines" (tm).
: Real Newspaper Headlines
: ------------------------------
<"Real" Headlines deleted>
The Mpls. Tribune headline after a midget fortune teller escaped from
the Stillwater prison in the summer of '68(I'm looking for the date) was:
SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE
Ken
Heather Gilmer
[dog barks when phone rings; dog tethered to part of electrical/phone system]
The version of this I heard was that the woman called to say her phone
wasn't ringing, and the reason she knew it wasn't just because she wasn't
getting calls was because the dog would bark when the phone was about to
ring. (I guess the deal was that lately the calls had only been getting
as far as the dog, and not to the house.)
Hg
p.s. how come people get flamed for talking about odd place names or even
"totally irrelevant" stuff like Boston T folklore, but Snopes gets to post a
list of funny headlines?
p.p.s. not that they weren't amusing; I was just wondering if there were
explicit criteria to get one's "I can do anything I want in this group"
card. And why is "off-topic" a waste of bandwidth, but in-jokes aren't?
I've been reading this group on and off for 4 or 5 years, and it seems
the signal-to-injoke ratio has about quartered, and the very same people
who are in on (and post) most of the in-jokes and witty banter have gotten
much more nasty to those outside the circle.
p.p.s. anyone wanna flame me for this should start another header--
otherwise it would be off-topic, wouldn't it? Better yet, send me mail--
unless the whole world really *needs* to know what you think of me.
Richard Phillips
>
> The rumor surfaces from time to time in communities throughout the United
> States, and in its latest incarnation it is sowing anxiety among hundreds of
> parents in the New Orleans area.
>
> Their children, warns a one-page letter circulating through churches,
> schools and business offices, are being lured into using the powerful
> hallucinogen LSD by pushers who soak the drug into stick-on tattoos sometimes
> bearing the image of popular cartoon characters.
>
This is an absolute classic *urban myth*. It has floated around the uk for
a number of years. Usualy a photocopied flyer, sometimes with a police or
local authority heading, is circulated amoungst parents.
No real evidence of any truth to this one, as far as I'm aware.
--
Richard Phillips
snopes
> The deal is that noise is tolerated from those that also produce
> signal, and snopes' signal is the best there is. He has thoroughly
> researched more ULs than 90% of AFU put together, and follows the
> strictest criteria for documentation and support. So he is allowed to
> start threads on Canada whenever he wants.
Hey, I have a reputation to protect! I hope no Canadians read that.
- David
Emily Kelly
responded to Heather Gilmer:
>The deal is that noise is tolerated from those that also produce
>signal, and snopes' signal is the best there is. He has thoroughly
>researched more ULs than 90% of AFU put together, and follows the
>strictest criteria for documentation and support. So he is allowed to
>start threads on Canada whenever he wants.
OK. Hard work reaps its well-earned reward of trolling the deep waters of
Canada. Actually, as far as I can tell, that's not a huge part of the problem,
because such threads are generally well-marked and killfileable for those
who don't have time to wade through them; in essence, they're a parallel and
unconnected sideshow to the AFU mainstream, as are the unmentionable threads
(may their names be forgotten). It's fairly rare that one of these will
yield a rewarding sidetrack. So let them have their fun and don't pay them
any attention at all.
>The group has grown tremendously, and the ability for it to become
>overwhelmed with cluelessness has grown commensurately. Thus the Young
>and Old Hats have developed shorter fuses when it comes to what others
>might regard as charming naivete.
Well, that's certainly understandable. The racket is getting deafening; I've
found myself growing acidic towards a few people lately, and I'm not even a
gestating Hat. But is it really excusable or even effective to leap to the
attack? There have been so many flames lately that even the really witty ones
are beginning to lose their wallop. We hardly give clueless newbies an
incentive to watch and learn if we don't give them the impression that they'll
be welcomed back once they're clueful. And as quick to flame as we've become,
it's easy to mistake the newbie who genuinely wants to be enlightened with the
really clueless one who doesn't give a fuck. It might be prudent to save the
ammunition for the tough cases.
Call me soft, but I thought AFU nicey-nicey week was an intriguing concept
(with a dorky name, to be sure). The haughty "I can post whatever I want
whenever I want, and to hell with you" types might be insulted and go away,
and the honestly clueless might pick up a few hints.
>When there is a group like AFU where the discussion level is of high
>quality, and the humor usually leaves alt.humor.funny gasping, folks
>often want to jump right in and participate fully, instead of working
>their way in gradually. This often has the effect of destroying what
>ambience there is, and lessening the quality of the repartee.
Bingbingbingbingbing! You've hit the nail on the head, as far as I'm
concerned; I just hadn't put it into words so well. Kim Scheinberg said the
same thing in a post last fall during the whole Podsnap mess, and it struck
me as a fundamental truth then, too. Speaking as one who is still trying to
work my way in gradually, I am especially dismayed by newbies who insist on
trying to shortcut. Yeah, it looks like a great party going on, but you can't
really join in until you know the people, which takes time.
The problem as I see it is that people who lack the subtlety to recognize this
in the first place tend to jump right in with posts which also lack subtlety.
So it's a double hazard. When I first got up the nerve to finally start
posting to AFU last year, I did my best not to make an ass of myself. I
already knew that quality posting was a big responsibility. Still, in my
early eagerness to join the club, there were a few inane posts that I regret,
but y'all never jumped on me. My harshest critic was the silence that
resounded when my noise wasn't worth responding to. It occurs to me now that
September seems to have hit for the duration of the millennium, that might be
the most cost-effective treatment.
>I read what I just wrote, and it sounds insanely snobbish, but I believe it
>to be true. Any disagreement?
No, I don't think what you wrote was snobbish, but it does imply some self-
selection that could come across that way to anyone who has not witnessed for
him/herself the difference between AFU and most of the rest of Usenet. I
don't think anyone in AFU wants to automatically exclude anyone from the
conversation (at least I hope not) without hearing what they have to say
first. But I think the citizens of AFU have been too quick to judge lately,
and if the trend continues we could begin to acquire in fact some of the
elitism we're credited with.
>If anyone has any ideas about how to help get AFU back on its feet again,
>post 'em. I for one am going to clean up my act and stop flaming
>indiscriminately. And I've got a pet UL that I'm researching right now,
>and I will post the results when I can get it together.
Well, as soon as I put together all the information about Paganini I culled
from the music library this week, I'll add that to the pile. But I think
everyone's been crying doom too much lately; yes, AFU is in crisis, but with
patience, this too will pass. And even if it doesn't, we'll still muddle
through somehow.
Emily "reticence is the sine qua non of good breeding--MOTTO?" Kelly
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Emily Harrison Kelly
eke...@acpub.duke.edu
(919) 956-7579
Barbara Hamel
>
> I'm really sorry to see the state of the group as it is today: the Old
> Hats hardly post, the Young Hats (myself included) are flaming everyone in
> sight for being clueless (which only adds to the general tension level)...
Me too, buddy. It's especially hard for me to watch because I've a good
idea what this group is capable of. It takes only one trip to cathouse
to convince anyone what a collection of intelligent, thoughtful and witty
people we have amassed here.
That all this talent has been squandered on toasting newbies leaves me
shaking my head in disbelief.
> If anyone has any ideas about how to help get AFU back on its feet again,
> post 'em.
I've one, but you beat me to it. You said:
> And I've got a pet UL that I'm researching right now, and I will post the
> results when I can get it together.
That's it right there, Harry. If each of the established AFUers took on a
pet UL and spent some time trying to trace it back to its origins, I think
we'd see a lot less of the problems you described. You see, AFU's awfully
demanding of newcomers in that they're expected to rise to the group's
standards. But I ask you this -- how in hell are they supposed to figure
out what those standards are if we don't show them? Sure, there's a lot of
talk about the AFU way of doing things, but have any of us been showcasing
what this group is about?
Darling, they can't be expected to emulate what they haven't seen.
My challenge to AFU is a simple one -- everybody take on a research project
and strut your stuff. Choose something outside your normal area of interest
and just run with it, see how far you can get.
For those among us who aren't all that hot to trot re the urban legend side
of things, concentrate on coming up with quality humour pieces. Craft the
stuff that makes everybody's sides ache from laughing.
This will accomplish two things. First of all, each of us will be so busy
working on our projects, we won't have time to smack newcomers around. (Sure,
there'll still be someone setting the most clueless offenders straight, but
we won't see these ongoing, time-consuming battles we're mired in now. As
well, the new people joining AFU will see with their own eyes what's expected
of them and what they have to accomplish if they're to be accepted into the
comraderie of the group. Like, we won't just be airily referring to AFU
standards and braying about this group's fine traditions -- we'll be showing
them.
Well, my soapbox is getting tired so it's time to climb on down.
Barbara "your turn -- make it a turn for the better" Hamel
--
Barbara Hamel | Since MedLine is already convinced I'm a
ag...@freenet.carleton.ca | drooling pervert after my search for studies
| on semen flavour.... - Ian York
Ewan Kirk
> [ blah blah ]
>OK. Hard work reaps its well-earned reward of trolling the deep waters of
>Canada. Actually, as far as I can tell, that's not a huge part of the problem,
>because such threads are generally well-marked and killfileable for those
>who don't have time to wade through them;
Of course, some of us have dial up batch feeds and therefore have to
pay for the latest troll into canadian waters even if we don't read them.
But it's nicey nicey week so I don't mind at all.
>Call me soft, but I thought AFU nicey-nicey week was an intriguing concept
>(with a dorky name, to be sure).
What do you mean "dorky name" you insignificant bubble of pond scum...oops,
sorry. If you're going to have a "nicey nicey" week then it **has** to
have a dorky name.
Ewan "how about dorky dorky week after this?" Kirk.
p.s. please note that his has just been a practice nicey nicey week.
The real one starts on Monday.
--E.
-- [Ewan Kirk] is eloquent and knowledgable, not to mention an
international Sex God - Len Berlind
Ray Depew
in response to Heather Gilmer's serious questions:
[first, the questions]
: :>p.s. how come people get flamed for talking about odd place names or even
: :>"totally irrelevant" stuff like Boston T folklore, but Snopes gets to post
: :>a list of funny headlines?
: :>p.p.s. not that they weren't amusing; I was just wondering if there were
: :>explicit criteria to get one's "I can do anything I want in this group"
: :>card. And why is "off-topic" a waste of bandwidth, but in-jokes aren't?
[now, an excerpt of the answers]
: When there is a group like AFU where the discussion level is of high
: quality, and the humor usually leaves alt.humor.funny gasping, folks
: often want to jump right in and participate fully, instead of working
: their way in gradually. This often has the effect of destroying what
: ambience there is, and lessening the quality of the repartee. I read
: what I just wrote, and it sounds insanely snobbish, but I believe it to
: be true. Any disagreement?
Yes, admittedly, it does sound snobbish. I've had the same problem
in trying to describe AFU's personality to others. I don't think we're
snobbish, it's just that we have a thing for "quality" as we have defined
it, and we have a low tolerance for those who want to ignore the standard
(or redefine it). I never considered it "snobbish." We welcome newbies
into this group, as long as they uphold the same standards.
It kind of reminds me of the old "I'm meticulous, you're picky, s/he's
anal-retentive" jokes.
Then snopes chimes in with:
:> The deal is that noise is tolerated from those that also produce
:> signal, and snopes' signal is the best there is. He has thoroughly
:> researched more ULs than 90% of AFU put together, and follows the
:> strictest criteria for documentation and support. So he is allowed to
:> start threads on Canada whenever he wants.
:
: Hey, I have a reputation to protect! I hope no Canadians read that.
:
: - David
Oh sure, now you might as well tell 'em your last name, so they can
send a good squad down to Northridge to finish you off. Idjit. The
guy didn't know when he had a good thing going ...
Finally, Emily Kelly chimed in with ... huh. I must've misplaced it.
I'll be right back.
Regards
Ray
Ray Depew
: Being perfectly clear himself, Harry M. F. Teasley <he...@crash.cts.com>
: responded to Heather Gilmer:
[...]
[she even invoked the name of Saint Kim, one of the Sweethearts of AFU,
bless 'em all]
: Call me soft, but I thought AFU nicey-nicey week was an intriguing concept
: (with a dorky name, to be sure). The haughty "I can post whatever I want
: whenever I want, and to hell with you" types might be insulted and go away,
: and the honestly clueless might pick up a few hints.
[...]
: I don't think anyone in AFU wants to automatically exclude anyone from the
: conversation (at least I hope not) without hearing what they have to say
: first. But I think the citizens of AFU have been too quick to judge lately,
: and if the trend continues we could begin to acquire in fact some of the
: elitism we're credited with.
I, too, think that we've been too quick to flame in the last month. I've
gone to e-mail with some of the Charred Ones, and all the ones I've
corresponded with are hurt and offended and really wanted to be Part
of AFU. Other regulars here have gone to e-mail with Charred Ones who
torned out to be the eternally clueless, self-important types that
we've all come to know and hate. (Let us all recite the AFU demonology
now: "BJGW, pplantec, jfont, podsnap, whats-her-name-from-North-Dakota"
-- what was her name, anyway? She was the one that posted 30 smileys
at once and pushed the Axeman into his final, bloody frenzy.)
I can understand why we've all become zorch-happy, though. When four of
my kids are being really pestiferous, and the fifth one comes to me
with an innocent "Daddy--" I'm conditioned to expect more of the same,
and so I snap "WHAT???" even if all #5 wanted was to give me a goodnight
kiss.
Maybe if all the incoming jerks on AFU would just go soak their heads in
lye for four weeks, we could welcome the incoming Serious Ones and get on
with AFU'ing, huh?
Regards
Ray Depew
r...@fc.hp.com
Chairman, Curator and Headmaster of The Axeman Institute
"After a while, my daughter looked over at me and asked, 'Daddy, do these
people have a life?' And I said, 'No, darling, most of them don't have a
life.'" -- John Norstad, quoted by John Seabrook
snopes
> Oh sure, now you might as well tell 'em your last name, so they can
> send a good squad down to Northridge to finish you off. Idjit. The
> guy didn't know when he had a good thing going ...
Hey, whatever might happen, it's got to be better than getting floods of
hate mail addressed to 'Benedict'.
- snopes
Michele Tepper
>[quoting Harry the Teazle]:
>>If anyone has any ideas about how to help get AFU back on its feet again,
>>post 'em. I for one am going to clean up my act and stop flaming
>>indiscriminately. And I've got a pet UL that I'm researching right now,
>>and I will post the results when I can get it together.
>
>Well, as soon as I put together all the information about Paganini I culled
>from the music library this week, I'll add that to the pile. But I think
>everyone's been crying doom too much lately;
Harry doesn't cry doom; Doom, however, may make him weep yet...
>yes, AFU is in crisis, but with
>patience, this too will pass. And even if it doesn't, we'll still muddle
>through somehow.
AFU occasionally reminds me of the writers I do my research on: a lot of
hue and cry that the sky is falling, that the Golden Age has passed, that
we are irredeemably fallen from grace. Not that they weren't responding
to some very real cultural and economic shifts, but in the middle of all
the hue and cry, they also produced some art that can stand with anything
Western civ. produced before it. I think we just have to spend a bit
less time on the hueing and the crying and more on the thoughtful if
goofy discussion. Emily's provided an excellent example with her
Paganini post, and I hope the rest of nicey-nicey week brings many more.
As Sam Beckett (the Paris one, not the TV one) put it: Ever tried. Ever
failed. Never mind. Try again. Fail better.
--
Michele Tepper "No, I have no idea why I posted this, either."
mi...@umich.edu --Paul Tomblin
Len Berlind
: AFU occasionally reminds me of the writers I do my research on: a lot of
: hue and cry that the sky is falling, that the Golden Age has passed, that
: we are irredeemably fallen from grace...but in the middle of all
: the hue and cry, they also produced some art that can stand with anything
: Western civ. produced before it...Emily's provided an excellent example
: with her Paganini post...
Yah, Emily's was a good one. But where does this put us
era-wise? Post-modern? Pre-ReNAIssance? Post-pupal?
Len"Och in vey?"Berlind
Barbara Hamel
>
> Yah, Emily's was a good one. But where does this put us era-wise?
> Post-modern? Pre-ReNAIssance? Post-pupal?
Post-time.
Barbara "AND THEY'RE OFF!!! (like a herd of turtles)" Hamel
--
Barbara Hamel | In my Spanish dictionary "gullible"
ag...@freenet.carleton.ca | (pronounced "goo-yee-blay") means
| "loving or affectionate." - snopes
Peter Benson
[...some gack...]
>
<sigh> just drop it kirk cos im getting bored of this nicey nicey stuff.
Bring bacxk andy wardley he was the only funny englishman.
--
p...@yeldraw.hook.uvw.edu
Peter Benson
Steven Cherry
>I can understand why we've all become zorch-happy, though. When four of
>my kids are being really pestiferous, and the fifth one comes to me
>with an innocent "Daddy--" I'm conditioned to expect more of the same,
>and so I snap "WHAT???" even if all #5 wanted was to give me a goodnight
>kiss.
My god, this man can't even tell when he's being trolled by his own
brood. No wonder the Hats gave him the gold watch and carefully took
the blade out of his shaking hands.
>Maybe if all the incoming jerks on AFU would just go soak their heads in
>lye for four weeks, we could welcome the incoming Serious Ones and get on
>with AFU'ing, huh?
As one of those incame Serious Ones of the past year, I, like Emily,
didn't make every post perfect, but I never got toasted. Of course, I had
a good sponsor, one of the best.
So that's what I'd recommend. If the Hats and near-Hats would take newbies
under their wing, teach them the culcha, help them post well, and follow
up their posts so those living by the autoselect actually read the new
person's posts (and read them with the right frame of mind), then we'd see
a lot more hopeful newbies become helpful midbies. Of course, that doesn't
mean to stop construction on the Moat of Flame. We're just discussing how
to get more people across it.
>Regards
>Ray Depew
>r...@fc.hp.com
>Chairman, Curator and Headmaster of The Axeman Institute
>"After a while, my daughter looked over at me and asked, 'Daddy, do these
>people have a life?' And I said, 'No, darling, most of them don't have a
>life.'" -- John Norstad, quoted by John Seabrook
Steven "hey, no offense Ray. The 8-year-old here doesn't understand what
I'm doing at the computer any more than I understand the appeal of Pete
'n' Pete. And it's hard enough to read all of afu with only one of 'em
running around" Cherry
--
<s...@panix.com> <s...@acm.org>
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
If you think broadcast TV represents the full range of American
opinion, you haven't spent enough time on Usenet. -- Mike Godwin
Jason R. Heimbaugh
><sigh> just drop it kirk cos im getting bored of this nicey nicey stuff.
>Bring bacxk andy wardley he was the only funny englishman.
Hello Peter,
Here's a free clue here during AFU Nicey Nicey Week for you: Ewan is not an
Englishman.
And, with the acceptance of the first clue, absolutely free - a SECOND free
clue: A group of a couple hundred thousand won't really care if some "Peter
Benson" is bored.
Thanks for stopping by.
Jason "nicey nicey, my way of life" Heimbaugh
--
Jason R. Heimbaugh - j...@cathouse.org <-Note new address for personal email
Call me this Friday from 9AM to 6PM CDT and wish me a happy 25th birthday a day
early at (217) 244-3695.
Ewan Kirk
>Ewan Kirk <ew...@kirk.demon.co.uk> writes:
>[...some gack...]
>>
>
><sigh> just drop it kirk cos im getting bored of this nicey nicey
stuff.
>
>Bring bacxk andy wardley he was the only funny englishman.
Look Petey, I'm trying really hard at nicey nicey week.
Thanks for posting. It's nice to see that Andy "Winky" Wardley is
gone but not forgotten. I miss Andy too and it's certainly true
that he was the only funny Englishman.
You seem like a nice chap so hang around. Would you like me to
send you a copy of Andy's fantastic "Newbie Doo" post? It
might help you integrate more fully into our nice group.
Ewan "wasn't there a program called "Benson"?" Kirk.
--E.
-- [Ewan Kirk] is eloquent and knowledgable, not to mention an
international Sex God - Len Berlind.
Peter Bensen
>>Bring bacxk andy wardley he was the only funny englishman.
>
>Hello Peter,
>
>Here's a free clue here during AFU Nicey Nicey Week for you: Ewan is not an
>Englishman.
Jason, thank you for your kind words. I'm glad nicey nicey week is so
nicey nicey or else you would have been nasty to me.
I'd like to buy you a big fat hairy beer for being so nice. I think you
are my best mate in the whole world. No, I mean it man, I luv you.
Here, let me fill your glass right up to the top. Hmm, it's overflowing.
>And, with the acceptance of the first clue, absolutely free - a SECOND free
>clue: A group of a couple hundred thousand won't really care if some "Peter
>Benson" is bored.
You spelt me name wrong, it is Bensen, not Benson, but I forgive you becuase
you are my best mate. No really, I love you.
Peter "Never bored when Jason's about"H Bendsen
--
"Bring back Andy Wardley - he's the best" - everyone
Pieter H Bendson
>In Article <D4z96...@dsbc.icl.co.uk> Peter Benson writes:
>>Bring bacxk andy wardley he was the only funny englishman.
Wise words. I second that emotion.
>Look Petey, I'm trying really hard at nicey nicey week.
Look, Ewan, I don't mean to be nasty, but your not half as nice
as Andy. I've never met you , or Andy for that matter, but at
least he's funny and doesn't go on and on about being nice.
I did meeet his dog once and it was 4 days before I could stop
laughing. If his *dog* can be that funny, he must be a grate bloke.
>You seem like a nice chap so hang around. Would you like me to
>send you a copy of Andy's fantastic "Newbie Doo" post? It
>might help you integrate more fully into our nice group.
Already got it, thanks. Maybe you are nice after all.
>Ewan "wasn't there a program called "Benson"?" Kirk.
No, your thinking of a cigaretete.
Pieter Bensen
--
"Off with his head! Oh, and bring back Andy Wardley, he's so funny."
- Queen Elizabeth I
Mike Czaplinski
Trolling's not enough for you, eh snopes?
Stooping to shaggy dog stories now?
Mike "furrfu" Czaplinski
m...@nsscmail.att.com
Mike Czaplinski
[Solomonic Wisdom (tm) deleted to save bandwidth]
What he said. I personally don't believe in flaming anyone unless they really
really REALLY piss me off (Like this guy named Greg Eichelberger over on rec.
arts.tv.mst3k....but I don't want to think about it for fear my brains will
start running out of my ears again...).
In an effort to start tossing out topics for discussion, how about discussing
something that I brought up a few months ago that got hashed around a little but
that just kind of drifted away. If any of you remember it, please feel free to
jump over it or pay attention:
My mom is cursed with vericose veins (exacerbated by the fact that she had FOUR
SONS, which she reminds us every time we forget to take out the garbage....),
and as such needs to wear rather expensive support hose (or spandex stirrup
pants if she doesn't need to dress formally). Anyway, one day when I got home
from work, I went into the freezer to pull out a frozen hunk of animal flesh,
and found instead a freezer bag filled with pantyhose. This concerned me
(though my mom has been on my case to up my fibre intake....), since Alzheimers
disease runs in my family and my Mom can be a bit absent minded.
"Oh no," she said, "I put those in there to keep them from running". Seems she
'heard or read somewhere' that you can keep down runs in pantyhose by putting
them in the freezer. Of course, she can't remember where or who she heard it
from, and I happened to call the customer service line for L'Eggs Panty Hose
(try it yourself: 1-800-522-9567), and they hadn't heard of it either.
Naturally, I tried to explain to her that, chemically speaking, this was bogus,
because cold slows down molecules & makes things brittle, hence more breakable.
The ONLY way I can see this working as my Mom (who, to be honest, hasn't put her
tights in the freezer since) thinks is that the cold would also reduce the
elasticity of the fibers, making them harder to stretch out of shape.
Now, the only thing I remember from last time I brought this up is that the
majority of AFU women seem to prefer hose&suspenders to pantyhose. Now that
I think about it, it almost makes me wish such things turned me on (sorry, gals,
but I'm a bikini & creative one-piece bathing suit kinda guy...) more than they
do, but I digress.....
So, anyone out there know anything about polymer chemistry? Or women's lingerie
manufacture? Or work for a pantyhose company?
Mike "Or can give me an 800# for HINTS FROM HELOISE?" Czaplinski
m...@nsscmail.att.com
'
Emily Kelly
Mike Czaplinski <m...@nsscmail.southplainfieldnj.ncr.com> wrote:
[Mom puts pantyhose in the freezer so they won't run]
>tights in the freezer since) thinks is that the cold would also reduce the
>elasticity of the fibers, making them harder to stretch out of shape.
But that doesn't make any sense at all. Stockings run when you try to stretch
them beyond their capability. If the stretchability is lessened by the cold,
they'll run sooner rather than later, especially if the cold makes them more
brittle as well.
Of course, if someone tried to stick me in the freezer with the hunks of dead
animal flesh, I'd run, too.
Emily "more of a tights fancier myself, anyway" Kelly
Barbara Hamel
>
> Anyway, one day when I got home from work, I went into the freezer to
> pull out a frozen hunk of animal flesh, and found instead a freezer bag
> there to keep them from running". Seems she 'heard or read somewhere'
> that you can keep down runs in pantyhose by putting them in the freezer.
>
> lingerie manufacture? Or work for a pantyhose company?
None of the above, I'm afraid, but that's not going to stop me from adding
to this discussion. I'm a girl -- as such, it's my sworn feminine duty to
add to the general knowledge base re ways a modern girl reacts to all that
scientific stuff.
As regards products and refrigerators, so far I've been told to:
- keep unopened packages of pantyhose in the freezer (they're supposed
to not run as easily after the initial chilling).
- keep nailpolish in the refrigerator (supposed to prevent it from
clumping).
- keep batteries in the freezer (again, they're supposed to last longer).
Whether or not any of the above is a scientificly-sound idea, I know that
when I, say, buy a couple of packages of batteries I at least feel guilty
for not storing the extra ones in the fridge. That's the way it works,
guys. We hear of something that's supposed to make something work better
or last longer and we immediately accept that this must be so. It doesn't
occur to us to run our own trials -- we'll just accept it as fact, happily
toss our pantyhose in the freezer, and get on with more important things.
There are a million and one helpful tips out there and most of them work
as well as you've been told they're going to. So when someone comes along
and say, "Hey, if you keep your nail polish in the fridge, you'll get a
better coat," none of us is going to take a day out of our lives to sit
down to work out the possibility of an appropriate chemical reaction.
Men are different in this regard. You tell them that sticking your finger
in the glass while you're pouring the Coke will keep the stuff from foaming
over, and your average fella will immediately launch into a long discourse
on why this should or should not work. Meanwhile, you're standing there
with your finger in the Coke.
It's a woman-thing, Mike. We tend to believe any household tip that gets
passed along to us because experience has proved most of them are worthwhile.
So every now and then, you fellas catch us out doing something incredibly
dumb and our only defence is to say we "read or heard" this somewhere.
Barbara "sliding into a freshly-chilled pair of pantyhose sure adds
excitement to your morning" Hamel
ObHeloise: Use newspaper instead of paper towels when cleaning windows
or mirrors -- it won't leave streaks.
--
Barbara Hamel | Plus my daughter through no fault of her own
ag...@freenet.carleton.ca | will have zero marital prospects once it
| becomes known what a complete moron her dad
| really is. - Len Berlind
William E. VanHorne
>ObHeloise: Use newspaper instead of paper towels when cleaning windows
> or mirrors -- it won't leave streaks.
Bing! This is not only a Heloise Hint, but a long-time favorite at used-
car dealerships. However, I had always been told that the reason for using
newspaper was that it gave the glass a much shinier surface. So, being
male (at least today), I now have to find out why this is supposed to work
and if it really does. I'll do the experiment later, but for now, does
anyone know why polishing glass with newspaper is supposed to leave glass
shinier and streak-free and if it really does?
---Bill "BTW, I keep *my* pantyhose on my head - under the colander" VanHorne
Bill Duetschler
nfma...@husc7.harvard.edu (Nyani-Iisha Martin) writes:
> Steven Cherry (s...@panix.com) wrote:
> : In <3j7hff$t...@tadpole.fc.hp.com> r...@fc.hp.com (Ray Depew) writes:
> However, the newbies ought to have the personal responsibility to ask for
> the help, and to realize that they need it, and take chastisement gracefully.
> Ny "I did, and look at me now" Martin
I *do* look at you. I'm looking at your picture as I post this.
You're a Certified AFU Babe-o-the-Month and youngest of AFU's Old
Hats. Congratulations.
Bill "and you *do* take chastisement most gracefully" Duetschler
bill.du...@royal.com
---
* JABBER v1.2 * practice random kinkyness and senile acts of boredom!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Internet: bill.du...@royal.com (Bill Duetschler)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Elizabeth Garner
>>>However, the newbies ought to have the personal responsibility to ask for
>>>the help
Fine, I'll be glad to ask. "So, where _is_ my butler, my cook, my
parlor maid?"
Elizabeth "who's convinced she was supposed to have been born
wealthy" Garner
Nyani-Iisha Martin
: In article <3jrjo8$m...@decaxp.harvard.edu>,
: Nyani-Iisha Martin <nfma...@husc7.harvard.edu> wrote:
: >Ny "I would have forgiven you calling me anything, but _this_ calls for a
: >duel to the death" Martin
: There will be no duels to the death for you, young lady, until your
: homework is done and your room is clean.
Until my room is clean?!
You're going to get to be as old as the Songs about Self-Abuse thread!
Ny "No, even older---as old as the Unfortunate Names one" Martin
--
_________________________________________________
Nyani-Iisha F. Martin nfma...@fas.harvard.edu
"I thought, There goes my Lord, whom I was born
to follow. I have found a King.....And, I said to
myself,.....I will have him, if I die for it."
--------Mary Renault, "The Persian Boy"
Doug S. Caprette
I always thought people used newspapers when cleaning windows because they were
cheaper than paper towels.
We used a paper towel to wipe the windows dry after cleaning them with news-
paper.
d...@gemini.gsfc.nasa.gov
--
| Regards, | Hughes STX | Code 926.9 GSFC |
| Doug Caprette | Lanham, Maryland | Greenbelt, MD 20771 |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Well, it sucks!" -- William Boyer
Robert Matthews
S. Caprette) wrote:
> In article <vanhorne...@netcom.com> vanh...@netcom.com (William
E. VanHorne) writes:
> >In article <D556J...@freenet.carleton.ca> ag...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA
(Barbara Hamel) writes:
> >
> >>ObHeloise: Use newspaper instead of paper towels when cleaning windows
> >> or mirrors -- it won't leave streaks.
> >
> >Bing! This is not only a Heloise Hint, but a long-time favorite at used-
> >car dealerships. However, I had always been told that the reason for using
> >newspaper was that it gave the glass a much shinier surface. So, being
> >male (at least today), I now have to find out why this is supposed to work
> >and if it really does. I'll do the experiment later, but for now, does
> >anyone know why polishing glass with newspaper is supposed to leave glass
> >shinier and streak-free and if it really does?
> I always thought people used newspapers when cleaning windows because
they were
> cheaper than paper towels.
>
> We used a paper towel to wipe the windows dry after cleaning them with news-
> paper.
No, really. Newspaper is great for cleaning windows. It doesn't leave
any lint behind. And here's a spring-cleaning tip since spring is right
around the corner; when you're washing your windows inside and out this
spring, wash themwith an up-and-down motion on the inside and
back-and-forth on the outside (or vice versa; I don't care, as long as
it's in different directions). Then if you see a streak, you'll know if
it's on the inside or the outside and can deal with it easily.
Robert "call me Heloise Jr." Matthews
=======================================================
"Hey, Rocko: which is funnier, bananas or cheese?"
"Cheese, Heffer. Definitely cheese."
Rocko's Modern Life
=======================================================
V-X
>While we're on the subject, can anyone verify the following. While watching a friend's 1 yr old tearing up a newspaper, I asked
>whether it was clean enough for her to play with. The mother said that it was okay, as newspaper ink is sterile. Any comments?
>(I have heard this elsewhere, too.)
1. It's not.
2. Even if it is, once it hits the air, it's not.
3. Even if it has some miraculous "stay sterile forever" properties, the
paper certainly doesn't, and has, by the time it hits your friend's front
porch, passed through at least a dozen common work areas filled with strangers
and heavy machinery. It's also probably touched the ground at least a half
dozen times.
4. Even if the ink and paper are miraculous "SSF" objects, and the paper is
procuced in sterile labs and handled with rubber gloves all the way to your
friend's airtight paper box, "sterile" doesn't mean "non-toxic" or "good for
you."
5. Ask your friend if she feels the same way about
her 1 year old playing with urine.
V-X can draw like nobody's business. Resume and examples available at
http://www.teleport.com/~vx
Home of the Unofficial WWW/FTP Jack Chick Archive!
"We live as we dream, alone."
YuNoHoo
: That's not fair. Just because I oppose you in another thread you
: gratuitously insult me.
:
: : ---Bill "probably wants to kill the Department of Newbies too" VanHorne
:
: Ny "I would have forgiven you calling me anything, but _this_ calls for a
: duel to the death" Martin
I'm nominating Ny as the fast-track AFU employee of the month.
First going for an old hat, the aspiring to become undead. As
Ny's talent develops I feel honored to make this nomination.
---
YuNoHoo "may all your enemies be served a lutefisk"
ri...@ccnet.com
> but doesn't the idea of blueing occour
> to anyone, or in this case blacking? Whites look a littlt whiter with a
> touch of blue, clear things look a little clearear through a shaded lense
> the only magic that a piece of newsprint provides is carbon black (AKA
> cheap ink), soak a newspaper and see how it runs.
While we're on the subject, can anyone verify the following. While watching a friend's 1 yr old tearing up a newspaper, I asked
whether it was clean enough for her to play with. The mother said that it was okay, as newspaper ink is sterile. Any comments?
(I have heard this elsewhere, too.)
,,,,,,
( o o)
oOO--(_)--OOo
ri...@ccnet.com
san francisco
Harry M. F. Teasley
:>Can it be a coincidence that this sig quote contains six, count 'em,
:>SIX I's in a mere three lines! Or that her name contains at least
:>four I/i's (no telling what that F stands for). This is certainly a
:>clear case of an over inflated ego.
Yeah, and her *name* even rhymes with "I"..... Dammit, she does have a
super inflated ego. Ny, why didn't you tell everyone that you're so
completely self absorbed?
Harry "Now she can be an Old Hat" Teasley
--
Harry MF Teasley, The Solomon of the Net.
Steven Joseph Marzuola
: > but doesn't the idea of blueing occour
: > to anyone, or in this case blacking? Whites look a littlt whiter with a
: > touch of blue, clear things look a little clearear through a shaded lens
I don't get this last bit. At about age 19, I once bought a pair of
glasses in Venezuela (the only time. I grew up there, but always got
glasses during trips to the US). They asked me what color I wanted the
lenses tinted, and I asked, "what for?" They tried to explain that I would
see more clearly. I told them I had been wearing glasses since I was 7
years old, had never had them tinted, and wasn't interested in tinting,
but they were persistent and I ended up getting the lightest shade of green
tint that they offered. They were the worst set of glasses I have ever had
in my life.
I have heard of the "blue-blocker" glasses, and a few years ago got my
first pair of prescription sunglasses, tinted brown, but I can't say that I
really see "sharper" through them.
: While we're on the subject, can anyone verify the following. While watching a friend's 1 yr old tearing up a newspaper, I asked
: whether it was clean enough for her to play with. The mother said that it was okay, as newspaper ink is sterile. Any comments?
: (I have heard this elsewhere, too.)
I read in high school (during one of the "energy crises") that one
shouldn't burn newspapers in fireplaces, or least not a steady diet of it,
because newspaper ink had lead in it and because some other ingredient
might contribute to a tar buildup inside the chimney. Does anybody know
whether either of these statements are true?
--
Steve Marzuola (marz...@owlnet.rice.edu) -- "The one clear proof of the
absence of alligators is that not a single union official has ever advanced
alligator infestation as a reason for a pay increase for sewer workers."
John T. Flaherty, New York City Bureau of Sewers (NY Times, May 19, 1982)
Cindy Kandolf
> when I, say, buy a couple of packages of batteries I at least feel guilty
> for not storing the extra ones in the fridge. That's the way it works,
> guys. We hear of something that's supposed to make something work better
> or last longer and we immediately accept that this must be so. It doesn't
> occur to us to run our own trials -- we'll just accept it as fact, happily
> toss our pantyhose in the freezer, and get on with more important things.
Actually, i wouldn't go quite that far - but if my experience tells me
that something works, i will do it, no matter how bizarre it may
sound. That, i think, is one of the fundamental differences between
men and women. Women are perfectly content to know _that_ something
works, and then turn their attention to more important things; men
also demand to know _how_ it works. No wonder they get ulcers...
-Cindy Kandolf, certified language mechanic, mamma flodnak
ci...@nvg.unit.no
Trondheim, Norway
Hurricanes and Cadillacs - they run you down and don't look back.
Cindy Kandolf
> In article <3k9itt$8...@ccnet.ccnet.com> ri...@ccnet.com writes:
>
> >While we're on the subject, can anyone verify the following. While watching a friend's 1 yr old tearing up a newspaper, I asked
> >whether it was clean enough for her to play with. The mother said that it was okay, as newspaper ink is sterile. Any comments?
> >(I have heard this elsewhere, too.)
>
> 1. It's not.
> 2. Even if it is, once it hits the air, it's not.
> 3. Even if it has some miraculous "stay sterile forever" properties, the
> paper certainly doesn't, and has, by the time it hits your friend's front
> porch, passed through at least a dozen common work areas filled with strangers
> and heavy machinery. It's also probably touched the ground at least a half
> dozen times.
> 4. Even if the ink and paper are miraculous "SSF" objects, and the paper is
> procuced in sterile labs and handled with rubber gloves all the way to your
> friend's airtight paper box, "sterile" doesn't mean "non-toxic" or "good for
> you."
> 5. Ask your friend if she feels the same way about
> her 1 year old playing with urine.
All this is true, but of all the things _my_ one-year-old gets into in
a day, i'd say newspapers are still pretty low on the yuckorama list.
Just as an example, he has recently discovered that there's water at
the bottom of the toilet bowl...
Not to mention all the things he can take out of the garbage pail in a
tenth of a second. And the time he threw up in bed and didn't call
for help, and we found him possibly as much as an hour later
contentedly sucking on his (vomit-covered) toy duck. And...
Bill Duetschler
st...@balder.nta.no (YuNoHoo) writes:
> I'm nominating Ny as the fast-track AFU employee of the month.
> First going for an old hat, the aspiring to become undead. As
> Ny's talent develops I feel honored to make this nomination.
May I second, or am I disqualified on conflict-of-interest grounds?
Bill "Ny, I hereby volunteer as your champion" Duetschler
bill.du...@royal.com
---
* JABBER v1.2 * Dark beer, dark humor--what more do you need?
Barbara Hamel
> st...@balder.nta.no (YuNoHoo) writes:
>
>> I'm nominating Ny as the fast-track AFU employee of the month.
>> First going for an old hat, the aspiring to become undead. As
>> Ny's talent develops I feel honored to make this nomination.
>
Yes, you're disqualified, Bill. But nevermind -- I'll second the
nomination. So, Peter, when does she get her hat, eh? BTW, I think
that out of respect for her tender years you should suspend the usual
random draw and hand-pick her hat for her. Some of those lads are
terribly shopworn, you know, and it's only right she get one that
still has some life in him.
Barbara "don't you wave your cane at me, young fella, or I'll smack
you with my Geritol" Hamel
--
Barbara Hamel | Any content related to urban folklore,
ag...@freenet.carleton.ca | Canada, hockey or tv in the above post
| is purely incidental. - Dan Case
James L. Coffey
: sound. That, i think, is one of the fundamental differences between
: men and women. Women are perfectly content to know _that_ something
: works, and then turn their attention to more important things; men
: also demand to know _how_ it works. No wonder they get ulcers...
Not to mention the even more fundamental difference is the esteem
in which the greatest comedy team ever to walk on this plant, the 3
Stooges, are held.
If they'd plooped him/her in front of a TV set with the great ones on,
"the Crying Game" would have been a two minute movie. At the first
laugh, the gig would have been up.
Jim "Three Blind Mice" Coffey
"Knowledge is Good" Emil Faber
Steven Thornton
> Not to mention the even more fundamental difference is the esteem
> in which the greatest comedy team ever to walk on this plant, the 3
> Stooges, are held.
> If they'd plooped him/her in front of a TV set with the great ones on,
> "the Crying Game" would have been a two minute movie. At the first
> laugh, the gig would have been up.
I am a man. I have proof. If you ask nicely (and wear the push-up bra)
I'll let you pull on it to make sure it's real. I like all that guy
stuff like baseball, big ol' cigars, farting in the bathtub, and Clint
Eastwood. But I can't stand the 3 Stooges. Where does that leave me?
--
| Steve Thornton | ste...@eskimo.com | Seattle, Washington, USA |
| Send 'subscribe indiepop' to majo...@eskimo.com for la-la fun |
| TweeNet indiepop (and baseball): http://www.eskimo.com/~stevet/ |
V-X
ci...@nvg.unit.no (Cindy Kandolf) wrote:
>All this is true, but of all the things _my_ one-year-old gets into in
>a day, i'd say newspapers are still pretty low on the yuckorama list.
>Just as an example, he has recently discovered that there's water at
>the bottom of the toilet bowl...
Tell me about it. Max (3) we put locks on everything for, and we may as well
have not bothered--he turned out to be rather cautious for a tyke. We dropped
our guard, and then came Kate, who cheerily eats everything she finds on the
floor, climbs onto tables, and generally makes our hair grey early.
>
>Not to mention all the things he can take out of the garbage pail in a
>tenth of a second. And the time he threw up in bed and didn't call
>for help, and we found him possibly as much as an hour later
>contentedly sucking on his (vomit-covered) toy duck. And...
The other day I was making lunch, and Max ran up and shouted, "I want a
pancake, too! Waaaaaaahhhh!" I was like, "Pancake?" I thought he must be
making stuff up. Then Kate toddled around the corner, eating a pancake. I
remembered that Joy and the kids had had pancakes a few nights before and
yelped and grabbed it out of her hands. We're going to have to move the
garbage outside or something...
__________________________________________________________________________
V-X can draw like crazy, man. /\ The Unofficial Jack Chick Archive!
Resume and examples available: /\ http:/www.teleport.com/~vx/jackhome.html
http://www.teleport.com/~vx /\ ftp.nine.org/pub/jackchick
_____________________"We live as we dream,alone."_________________________
Barbara Hamel
>
> I am a man. I have proof. If you ask nicely (and wear the push-up bra)
> I'll let you pull on it to make sure it's real. I like all that guy
> stuff like baseball, big ol' cigars, farting in the bathtub, and Clint
> Eastwood. But I can't stand the 3 Stooges. Where does that leave me?
Unpulled.
Barbara "or, in the immortal words of David Steinberg, 'never going to
get it'" Hamel
Derek Tearne
Barbara Hamel <ag...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote:
>
>Barbara "or, in the immortal words of David Steinberg, 'never going to
>get it'" Hamel
I thought those were the immortal words of 'en vogue'.
Derek "Not this time" Tearne
Barbara Hamel
In a previous posting, Derek Tearne (de...@iconz.co.nz) writes:
> Barbara Hamel <ag...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote:
>>
>>Barbara "or, in the immortal words of David Steinberg, 'never going to
>>get it'" Hamel
>
Which issue?
Barbara "WWD-40" Hamel
--
Barbara Hamel | I, for one, can state that I have never run
ag...@freenet.carleton.ca | around aimlessly with a tennis ball stuck in
| my mouth and a blissful expression of total
| mindlessness upon my face. - Bill VanHorne