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Tomato, tomato, potato, potato?

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Glenn Fleishman

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Apr 20, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/20/96
to
Here's one for the group. I heard this story from an officemate who
SWEARS her friend Jeff was actually THERE when this happened. Later, I
heard the same story taking place in a slightly different set of
circumstances on the east coast from a different set of people.

Here it is:

"This guy shows up for a musical theater audition without any music,
so they give him a standard piece to perform. He gets up, and starts
singing, (phonetic spelling added)

'You say poe-tay-to and I say poe-tay-to,
You say toe-may-to and I say toe-may-to,
Poe-tay-to, poe-tay-to...
What's this song all about anyway?!'

Now my officemate huffily denied that her friend could have misled her
as to being there, but hearing the identical story of course makes one
suspicious unless her friend a) wrote the story up in a national
publication; b) has friends in common (or some chain of them) with the
people I knew out east. However, I doubt it.

Anyone else heard this one or variations? Sources (or dates) would be
useful so I can prove to this person that her friend probably said, "I
know someone who was there," rather than, "I was there." (Her friend
has moved, otherwise I'd quiz him.)

Glenn Fleishman
Seattle, Washington

Shabby Doll

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Apr 20, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/20/96
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Glenn Fleishman (gl...@popco.com) wrote:
: "This guy shows up for a musical theater audition without any music,
: so they give him a standard piece to perform. He gets up, and starts
: singing, (phonetic spelling added)

: 'You say poe-tay-to and I say poe-tay-to,
: You say toe-may-to and I say toe-may-to,
: Poe-tay-to, poe-tay-to...
: What's this song all about anyway?!'

: Anyone else heard this one or variations? Sources (or dates) would be

: useful so I can prove to this person that her friend probably said, "I
: know someone who was there," rather than, "I was there." (Her friend
: has moved, otherwise I'd quiz him.)

Well, Glenn, this is one of my favorite stories. My sophomore year
English teacher told it to our class about, I guess it would be seven
years ago now. I went to a suburban Chicago high school, and he said it
happened to one of his friends in the city. (minus the "What's this song
all about anyway" - the way he told it the woman was completely oblivious
and only found out after how wrong she was)

Never even suspected it could have been a UL, mostly because I loved and
cherished my English teacher. Ah well. Early-onset cynicism.


Pam "good thing it wasn't 'La Vie en Rose'" Wesely
______________________________________________________________________________
The big top is deserted now Pam Wesely
And the circus girl rehearses
She knows how to turn their heads
And not fall between two horses. (EC) pwe...@minerva.cis.yale.edu
When I said I was lying, I might have been lying.
______________________________________________________________________________

Colin Fine

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Apr 20, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/20/96
to
In article <31791A...@popco.com>, Glenn Fleishman <gl...@popco.com>
writes

>Here's one for the group. I heard this story from an officemate who
>SWEARS her friend Jeff was actually THERE when this happened. Later, I
>heard the same story taking place in a slightly different set of
>circumstances on the east coast from a different set of people.
>
>Here it is:
>
>"This guy shows up for a musical theater audition without any music,
>so they give him a standard piece to perform. He gets up, and starts
>singing, (phonetic spelling added)
>
>'You say poe-tay-to and I say poe-tay-to,
> You say toe-may-to and I say toe-may-to,
> Poe-tay-to, poe-tay-to...
> What's this song all about anyway?!'
>
>Now my officemate huffily denied that her friend could have misled her
>as to being there, but hearing the identical story of course makes one
>suspicious unless her friend a) wrote the story up in a national
>publication; b) has friends in common (or some chain of them) with the
>people I knew out east. However, I doubt it.
>
>Anyone else heard this one or variations? Sources (or dates) would be
>useful so I can prove to this person that her friend probably said, "I
>know someone who was there," rather than, "I was there." (Her friend
>has moved, otherwise I'd quiz him.)
>
>Glenn Fleishman
>Seattle, Washington

I saw this in a sketch on Television many years ago. I think it was John
Fortune auditioning, though it could have been John Bird; I think it was
in one of the Monty Python etc benefits for Amnesty or some such - The
Secret Policeman's Ball etc, which I guess would put it late 70's; but
many of the sketches in those were recycled, so it was probably older.

The punch line was a more British
"You know, I don't think I'm quite getting this."

Colin
--
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| Colin Fine 33 Pemberton Drive, Bradford, W Yorks. BD7 1RA, UK |
| Tel: 01274 733680 e-mail: co...@kindness.demon.co.uk |
| God gave me eyes so that I could see you, |
| and gave you eyes so that I could see myself" -K.B.Brown|
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

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JoAnne Schmitz

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Apr 21, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/21/96
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Glenn Fleishman <gl...@popco.com> wrote:

>'You say poe-tay-to and I say poe-tay-to,
> You say toe-may-to and I say toe-may-to,
> Poe-tay-to, poe-tay-to...

Years ago (more than five, at least), I heard this as a joke. It
stars a young lady with a pronounced Brooklyn accent as the singer,
and the casting director cuts her off before she ever says "what's
this song all about anyway." I believe it's been used in a movie.

But -- you missed the punch line!

The director says, "Thank you, that'll be all, Miss Levine." (he
pronounces it luh-VEEN).

Insulted, she says, "That's Le-VIYNE."

JoAnne "so long as you spell my name right" Schmitz
-----------------------------------------------------------
There are emergency contraception pills that you can take
after you have had unprotected sex. They work up to three
days after intercourse. You don't have to wait to be sure
you're pregnant and then have an abortion.
For more information you can call 1-800-584-9911. Or check
the web site http://opr.princeton.edu/ec/ec.html.
-----------------------------------------------------------


Glenn Fleishman

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Apr 21, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/21/96
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Shabby Doll wrote:
> Never even suspected it could have been a UL, mostly because I loved and
> cherished my English teacher. Ah well. Early-onset cynicism.

Yes, it always bums me out when I find out that a story I associate with
a person (in this case, the friend of my colleague) is suddenly turned
into background radiation.

On the other hand, it's a nice testament to modern life that we are
still storytellers despite all efforts to make us consumer buying units.

Thanks for the references! My somewhat supercilious colleague -- "My
friend was there and heard this!" -- gets her comeupance.

Glenn

Brian Jones

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Apr 22, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/22/96
to

> 'You say poe-tay-to and I say poe-tay-to,
> You say toe-may-to and I say toe-may-to,
> Poe-tay-to, poe-tay-to...

> What's this song all about anyway?!'

Wasn't this used in the Mel Brooks 1983 starring vehicle "To Be Or Not To
Be"? (remake of Ernst Lubitsch's 1942 classic starring Jack Benny). Except
it wasn't an audition, it was performed before an audience.

Brian "Ich bin ein Lubitscher" Jones

You suffer in the gloom of the sickroom | Brian...@ajc.com
And talk to yourself until you die. | My opinions suck in a
- Pink Floyd | different way than those
"Free Four" | of my employer.

Charles Wm. Dimmick

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Apr 22, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/22/96
to
Colin Fine wrote:
>
> > He gets up, and starts
> >singing, (phonetic spelling added)
> >'You say poe-tay-to and I say poe-tay-to,
> I saw this in a sketch on Television many years ago.put it late 70's;
> The punch line was a more British
> "You know, I don't think I'm quite getting this."

This was done as a skit at a church social in Cheshire, Connecticut in
the spring of 1974. The "singer" was a member of our church who used to
be kidded about his pronounced British accent, so naturally he sang as
follows"
"You say po-tah'-to, and I say po-tah'-to,
You say to-mah'-to, and I say to-mah'-to,"
etc.
The punch line was ALSO quite British.
I got the impression that this was being recycled from an earlier source
at the time.

Charles Wm. Dimmick

Jeffrey Davis

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Apr 22, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/22/96
to
Brian Jones wrote:
>
> In article <31791A...@popco.com>, gl...@popco.com wrote:
>
> > 'You say poe-tay-to and I say poe-tay-to,
> > You say toe-may-to and I say toe-may-to,
> > Poe-tay-to, poe-tay-to...
> > What's this song all about anyway?!'
>
> Wasn't this used in the Mel Brooks 1983 starring vehicle "To Be Or Not To
> Be"? (remake of Ernst Lubitsch's 1942 classic starring Jack Benny). Except
> it wasn't an audition, it was performed before an audience.

Ira Gershwin apparently baffled a lot of people. A British music
publisher is said to have corrected the title of "S'Wonderful" to
"It's Wonderful."

--
Jeffrey Davis <da...@ca.uky.edu> It's 1927 and the goose is hanging high.

Craig Myers

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Apr 22, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/22/96
to
>>"This guy shows up for a musical theater audition without any music,
>>so they give him a standard piece to perform. He gets up, and starts
>>singing, (phonetic spelling added)
>>

>>'You say poe-tay-to and I say poe-tay-to,
>> You say toe-may-to and I say toe-may-to,
>> Poe-tay-to, poe-tay-to...
>> What's this song all about anyway?!'
>>
[...]

>>Anyone else heard this one or variations? Sources (or dates) would be
>>useful so I can prove to this person that her friend probably said, "I
>>know someone who was there," rather than, "I was there."

Very interesting; I went to a performance of the Turtle Creek Chorale
(a men's chorus) here in Dallas, Texas on (looking at calender) March
20 [I think] of this year. Michael Feinstein was the featured
singer/pianist, and the evening's music was that of the Gershwins',
Ira and George.

Mr. Feinstein was Ira Gershwin's personal assistant for a number (20?)
of years before he (Ira) passed away. He told a variation of the
above, saying that it was IG's favorite joke (unfortunately, I don't
recall getting a feeling of whether it was assumed to be true, or a
true joke). Except in this version, after a woman came on and sang
the potato/tomato lines, and pronouncing them the same, the auditoner
(director?) interrupted her and said "That's enough, Miss Weinstein
("Wine-steen"), thank you. We'll call you." to which Miss Weinstein
responded harshly "It's Weinstein! ("Wine-stine" - long "i")".

HTH.

Craig "Whew! That Ira was quite the humorist!" Myers

Bill Welch

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Apr 22, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/22/96
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In article <317C05...@ccsu.ctstateu.edu>, "Charles Wm. Dimmick"
<dim...@ccsu.ctstateu.edu> writes

>This was done as a skit at a church social in Cheshire, Connecticut in
>the spring of 1974. The "singer" was a member of our church who used to
>be kidded about his pronounced British accent, so naturally he sang as
>follows"
> "You say po-tah'-to, and I say po-tah'-to,
> You say to-mah'-to, and I say to-mah'-to,"
> etc.

If his accent was British, he would have said "po-tay-to" and "to-mah-
to."

--
Large jazzman nullifies Bill Welch's curiously-zoned kettle!

John Schmitt

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Apr 22, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/22/96
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JoAnne Schmitz wrote:
[snippage involving ?Noel Coward song]
Wasn't it Dan Quayle? potato,potatoe,let's call the whole thing off.
--
John Schmitt

Disclaimers Apply.
An Englishman in New York? No, an American in London.

Leonard Blanks

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Apr 23, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/23/96
to
Colin Fine <co...@kindness.demon.co.uk> writes:

>I saw this in a sketch on Television many years ago. I think it was John
>Fortune auditioning, though it could have been John Bird; I think it was
>in one of the Monty Python etc benefits for Amnesty or some such - The
>Secret Policeman's Ball etc, which I guess would put it late 70's; but
>many of the sketches in those were recycled, so it was probably older.

>The punch line was a more British


>"You know, I don't think I'm quite getting this."

It was the late, great Peter Cook.

Len


--
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PGP Public Key Available Send mail with Subject: SEND-PGP-KEY
Key fingerprint = E6 B4 27 35 FA 1C 70 74 C1 19 EA C2 51 C8 42 D2


Lucy R F

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Apr 23, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/23/96
to
I heard this one many years ago, and the autionee's comment was 'I can't
see what's wrong with this relationship'.

Paul Roub

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Apr 23, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/23/96
to
: > You say toe-may-to and I say toe-may-to,

: > Poe-tay-to, poe-tay-to...
: > What's this song all about anyway?!'
: >
: I saw this in a sketch on Television many years ago. I think it was John

: Fortune auditioning, though it could have been John Bird; I think it was
: in one of the Monty Python etc benefits for Amnesty or some such - The
: Secret Policeman's Ball etc, which I guess would put it late 70's; but
: many of the sketches in those were recycled, so it was probably older.

Check out "Dead Parrot's Society", which is, I believe, from one of the
Secret Policeman's Balls. It's a compilation of various bits from Peter
Cook, John Cleese, et al.

The bit in question is courtesy of Peter Cook on this tape, if memory
serves. The punchline, paraphrased, is "I really don't see what's the
problem with this relationship."

-paul

// Internet Pornography Debate Resolved:
// http://www.shadow.net/~proub/porno.html

Kevin D. Quitt

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Apr 23, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/23/96
to
On the other hand, I *have* seen a non-singer read the lyrics, (mis)read aloud
the first two lines and declare what a dumb song it was.

--
#include <standard_disclaimer.h> http://emoryi.jpl.nasa.gov/
_
Kevin D Quitt USA 91351-4454 96.37% of all statistics are made up

David Johns

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Apr 25, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/25/96
to
#>>"This guy shows up for a musical theater audition without any music,
#>>so they give him a standard piece to perform. He gets up, and starts
#>>singing, (phonetic spelling added)
#>>
#>>'You say poe-tay-to and I say poe-tay-to,
#>> You say toe-may-to and I say toe-may-to,
#>> Poe-tay-to, poe-tay-to...
#>> What's this song all about anyway?!'
#>>
#[...]
#>>Anyone else heard this one or variations? Sources (or dates) would be
#>>useful so I can prove to this person that her friend probably said, "I
#>>know someone who was there," rather than, "I was there."

it's a monty python sketch. not from a tv show, from a movie of sketches,
maybe leftovers or something. mid 70s.


Paul Curnow and Wendy O'Boyle

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Apr 26, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/26/96
to

In <4lgsaq$5...@swsu65.swmed.edu> cmy...@mednet.swmed.edu (Craig Myers)
writes:
>
>>>"This guy shows up for a musical theater audition without any music,
>>>so they give him a standard piece to perform. He gets up, and starts
>>>singing, (phonetic spelling added)

>>>
>>>'You say poe-tay-to and I say poe-tay-to,
>>> You say toe-may-to and I say toe-may-to,
>>> Poe-tay-to, poe-tay-to...

>>> What's this song all about anyway?!'
>>>
>[...]

>>>Anyone else heard this one or variations? Sources (or dates) would
>>>be useful so I can prove to this person that her friend probably
>>>said, "I know someone who was there," rather than, "I was there."


It's a sketch from "The Secret Policeman's Private Parts" a predecessor
to Live Aid for Amnesty International in the late 70's, by bits and
pieces of Monty Python, Rowan Atkinson, Pete Townshend and various
other peoples, the sequal to "The Secret Policeman's Other Ball", much
harder to find

And I was there - right in the middle of Blockbuster Video, and
directly in front of my VCR.

Nicole A. Okun

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Apr 28, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/28/96
to

In article <4lminj$c...@bill.gnatnet.net>, djo...@gnatnet.net (David Johns)
writes:
>
>
> #[...]
> #>>Anyone else heard this one or variations? Sources (or dates) would be
> #>>useful so I can prove to this person that her friend probably said, "I

> #>>know someone who was there," rather than, "I was there."
>
> it's a monty python sketch. not from a tv show, from a movie of
> sketches,
> maybe leftovers or something. mid 70s.
>


No, it's an Elaine May - Mike Nichols sketch -- can't tell you the date,
but it turns up occasionally on a radio program called "The Royal Canadian
Airfarce" on the CBC when the Farce is on summer vacation and substituting
classic comedy recordings for their usual stuff.

I've not seen Monty Python doing this; I think they only did original
material. The Nichols and May sketch would be from the late fifties or
early sixties, I think.

-- Nicole (inclined to say "toe-MAY-toe" but I don't pronounce "roof" to
rhyme with "whuff", and just ask me to say "house")


Kevin D. Quitt

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Apr 30, 1996, 3:00:00 AM4/30/96
to

On Thu, 25 Apr 1996 01:57:02 GMT, djo...@gnatnet.net (David Johns) wrote:
>it's a monty python sketch. not from a tv show, from a movie of sketches,
>maybe leftovers or something. mid 70s.

It's also a tad older. mid 40's.

Phil Edwards

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May 1, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/1/96
to

Kevin D. Quitt wrote:
>
>
> It's also a tad older. mid 40's.
>

Yup - I always thought it was Cole Porter (although just writing the name
makes me realise it's way below *his* standard... but I digress)

Could I just point out that no one in Britain (no one in the
English-speaking world AFAIK) has *ever* said "po-tah-to"?
--
Phil Edwards new...@dircon.co.uk
"We mere mortals will take care of the necessary cutlery distortion"

Jeffrey Davis

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May 1, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/1/96
to

Phil Edwards wrote:
> Kevin D. Quitt wrote:
> >
> > It's also a tad older. mid 40's.
> >
> Yup - I always thought it was Cole Porter (although just writing the name
> makes me realise it's way below *his* standard...)

S'Wonderful of you to say that.

Mike Holmans

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May 2, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/2/96
to

Phil Edwards asserted:

> Could I just point out that no one in Britain (no one in the
> English-speaking world AFAIK) has *ever* said "po-tah-to"?

This assertion is no longer true. I just did, and I'm in London.

Mike "though what I meant by it is anyone's guess" Holmans

Patrick

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May 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/3/96
to

In article <4md29l$q...@netnews.upenn.edu>,
wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu (Matthew P Wiener) wrote:

>In article <3187A9...@dircon.co.uk>, Phil Edwards <news-uk@dircon writes:
>>Could I just point out that no one in Britain (no one in the
>>English-speaking world AFAIK) has *ever* said "po-tah-to"?
>
>So. Where is the nobrain rush to flame Phil Edwards for asserting
>this *unscientific* claim when he has not--gosh--personally listened
>to every last Brit or English speaker pronouncing "potato"?

Because we were waiting for you.

Patrick "Like duh" Fine

Matthew P Wiener

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May 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/3/96
to

In article <3187A9...@dircon.co.uk>, Phil Edwards <news-uk@dircon writes:
>Could I just point out that no one in Britain (no one in the
>English-speaking world AFAIK) has *ever* said "po-tah-to"?

So. Where is the nobrain rush to flame Phil Edwards for asserting
this *unscientific* claim when he has not--gosh--personally listened
to every last Brit or English speaker pronouncing "potato"?

--
-Matthew P Wiener (wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu)

Matthew P Wiener

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May 5, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/5/96
to

In article <4mepc6$d...@nnrp1.news.primenet.com>, imfine@primenet (Patrick) writes:
>In article <4md29l$q...@netnews.upenn.edu>,
> wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu (Matthew P Wiener) wrote:
>>In article <3187A9...@dircon.co.uk>, Phil Edwards <news-uk@dircon writes:

>>>Could I just point out that no one in Britain (no one in the
>>>English-speaking world AFAIK) has *ever* said "po-tah-to"?

>>So. Where is the nobrain rush to flame Phil Edwards for asserting
>>this *unscientific* claim when he has not--gosh--personally listened
>>to every last Brit or English speaker pronouncing "potato"?

>Because we were waiting for you.

So rush in already.

>Patrick "Like duh" Fine

Ah. You know the words, but you don't know the music.

JoAnne Schmitz

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May 7, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/7/96
to

wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu (Matthew P Wiener) wrote:

>In article <3187A9...@dircon.co.uk>, Phil Edwards <news-uk@dircon writes:
>>Could I just point out that no one in Britain (no one in the
>>English-speaking world AFAIK) has *ever* said "po-tah-to"?

>So. Where is the nobrain rush to flame Phil Edwards for asserting
>this *unscientific* claim when he has not--gosh--personally listened
>to every last Brit or English speaker pronouncing "potato"?

1. It wasn't a key part of the legend.

2. Someone provided the counterexample anyway.

JoAnne "you're welcome" Schmitz

Matthew P Wiener

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May 7, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/7/96
to

In article <4mmimq$o...@news2.cais.com>, jschmitz@qis (JoAnne Schmitz) writes:
>wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu (Matthew P Wiener) wrote:
>
>>In article <3187A9...@dircon.co.uk>, Phil Edwards <news-uk@dircon writes:
>>>Could I just point out that no one in Britain (no one in the
>>>English-speaking world AFAIK) has *ever* said "po-tah-to"?

>>So. Where is the nobrain rush to flame Phil Edwards for asserting
>>this *unscientific* claim when he has not--gosh--personally listened
>>to every last Brit or English speaker pronouncing "potato"?

>1. It wasn't a key part of the legend.

Why does it have to be before the nobrain rush begins?

>2. Someone provided the counterexample anyway.

So what? Why was the claim to mispronounce the word not accompanied by
flames and criticism that Phil Edwards was being *unscientific* for
asserting such without personally listening to every last Brit or
English speaker first?

That was my question--you have not addressed it.

Angus Johnston

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May 7, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/7/96
to

In article <4mnnk2$p...@netnews.upenn.edu>

wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu (Matthew P Wiener) writes:

> >2. Someone provided the counterexample anyway.
>
> So what?

So Edwards' inanity was challenged, just as yours was, even though his
differed from yours in that it wasn't used as support for a supposedly
serious argument.

> Why was the claim to mispronounce the word not accompanied by
> flames and criticism that Phil Edwards was being *unscientific* for
> asserting such without personally listening to every last Brit or
> English speaker first?

Edwards hadn't previously demonstrated that he was an obnoxious
asshole.

Like, duh, retard.

--
Angus Johnston
http://www.panix.com/~angusj

Jason R. Heimbaugh

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May 7, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/7/96
to

Matthew P Wiener <wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu> wrote:
>So what? Why was the claim to mispronounce the word not accompanied by

>flames and criticism that Phil Edwards was being *unscientific* for
>asserting such without personally listening to every last Brit or
>English speaker first?

Because we knew it would annoy you more not to. Annoying little pricks like
you who get their panties in a wad tend to die from stress related diseases
and that seems to be the only way we can get you to fuck off. Anything that
will make that occur faster is a Good Thing.

--
Jason R. Heimbaugh - ja...@heimbaugh.com

Matthew P Wiener

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May 7, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/7/96
to

In article <4mnvtc$9...@news1.panix.com>, angusj@panix (Angus Johnston) writes:
>In article <4mnnk2$p...@netnews.upenn.edu>
>wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu (Matthew P Wiener) writes:

>> >2. Someone provided the counterexample anyway.

>> So what?

>So Edwards' inanity was challenged, just as yours was, even though his
>differed from yours in that it wasn't used as support for a supposedly
>serious argument.

It was challenged yes. It was not accompanied by rank retarded comments
about "folklore is a science" and assertions that every last example of
any phenomenon is behind any and all "scientific claims".

Why does it being central support make a difference?

>> Why was the claim to mispronounce the word not accompanied by
>> flames and criticism that Phil Edwards was being *unscientific* for
>> asserting such without personally listening to every last Brit or
>> English speaker first?

>Edwards hadn't previously demonstrated that he was an obnoxious
>asshole.

Eh? Why would that allegation inspire anyone to come up with such
maggotbrained ideas of the above sort?

>Like, duh, retard.

You didn't answer the question. Duh squared.

Matthew P Wiener

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May 7, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/7/96
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In article <4mnsoi$o...@shellx.best.com>, jason@heimbaugh (Jason R. Heimbaugh) writes:
>Matthew P Wiener <wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu> wrote:

>>So what? Why was the claim to mispronounce the word not accompanied by


>>flames and criticism that Phil Edwards was being *unscientific* for
>>asserting such without personally listening to every last Brit or
>>English speaker first?

>Because we knew it would annoy you more not to. Annoying little


>pricks like you who get their panties in a wad tend to die from

>stress related diseases and that seems to be the only way we can [...]

Golly. Sure sounds retarded. Got it in one!

Emily Kelly

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May 7, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/7/96
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JoAnne Schmitz <jsch...@qis.net> wrote:
:wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu (Matthew P Wiener) wrote:
:

:>Phil Edwards <news-uk@dircon writes:
:>>Could I just point out that no one in Britain (no one in the
:>>English-speaking world AFAIK) has *ever* said "po-tah-to"?
:
:>So. Where is the nobrain rush to flame Phil Edwards for asserting
:>this *unscientific* claim when he has not--gosh--personally listened
:>to every last Brit or English speaker pronouncing "potato"?

:
:1. It wasn't a key part of the legend.
:
:2. Someone provided the counterexample anyway.

Besides which, we were able to extrapolate supporting evidence from our
vast databank of examples of "buffet" pronunciation.

Emily "poTAHtoes aw GROTten are Umbly presented on the Buffett" Kelly
--
Emily Harrison Kelly "Deer-whistles are *so* overrated."
eke...@acpub.duke.edu --Will Wheeler
For the AFU FAQ: email mail-...@rtfm.mit.edu, no subject, with the message,
"send usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/*".

Harry MF Teasley

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May 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/8/96
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Matthew P Wiener bequeathed:

> So what? Why was the claim to mispronounce the word not accompanied by
> flames and criticism that Phil Edwards was being *unscientific* for
> asserting such without personally listening to every last Brit or
> English speaker first?

Matthew, stop being such a maggot-brained pissant foul-smelling cranky
fucked-up weasel-word-talking moronic asshole shit-for-brains poncy
danglesocket wannabe know-nothing painful-rectal-itch-of-a-person asswipe
snot-sucking gaping-wound-where-the-brain-should-be trying annoying sickly
childish fuckwit dipshit knock-kneed piggy shit-spewing hate-filled
needle-dick trash-talking ill-conceived personality-transplant-needing
pinheaded sack-of-pus urinal-breath dingleberry incognizant lame-ass
breathable-air-wasting meat-by-product horse-faced decaf-drinking
thumb-sucking no-date shivelled-spirit loser hose-bag bitch-talking
crybaby craven toejam no-sense-of-humor prick cause-having no-sense
unworthy laborious bet-you-think-I-can't-keep-this-up-bet-I-can facile
reprobate ungraceful slackbladder clue-repellent just-plain-repellent
momma's-boy wailing sniggeringly-inept uncreative immature lackluster
beneath-contempt piss-poor mild-geek-by-day-but-fucking-offal-eating-
shithead-by-night wormy crass no-excuse unclear-on-the-concept
attention-craving net-loon drive-by-shooting-candidate freakish stupid
lying shitty snivelling no-class lower-than-dirt illiterate unprofessional
pico-dick-nonpareil inadequate laughable inept uncultured repugnant prig
goober earwig flaccid zero-friends did-you-ever-finish-that-degree-
at-Berkley-or-are-your-pompous-posts-your-way-of-trying-to-deal-with-your-
failures-as-a-real- mathematician grunting nakedly-juvenile-to-the-core
embarrassing masochistic goose-egg-IQ hellspawn inarticulate flailing
funkless dolt creepy monstrous socially-clumsy dog-kibble noxious
atrophied-neuron irredeemable posting-recklessly-while-under-the-
delusion-you-can-actually-think truculent mycogenous goony
spittle-spraying one-track-minded nebbish hopelessly-outclassed pofaced
amoral toadlike craptrap buttinski loopy spoiled-brat idiotic
you-should-eat-more-because-it's-obvious-your-body-is-scavenging-
your-grey-matter-for-nourishment boorish whiny unsound capable-of-
sucking-ambient-humor-from-the-very-air atrocious imbecilic wanker
impotent malodorous dismissable boring incapable callous mean-spirited
snippy piece-of-dung evil nerdy almost-not-worth-this-but-
I-gotta-say-you're-a-fun-target pre-pubescent cheesy monosyllabic
safe-and-effective-diuretic rank-smelling fetid ditchwater peculiar
thick-skulled troglodyte wheedling monkey-boy pukestain inbred
flirting-with-intelligence-but-getting-the-cold-shoulder-in-return
distressing Air-Supply-listening scrotum-sniffing illkempt weedy
figment-of-Satan's-imagination bottom-feeding cromagnon pasty-faced
Don-of-the-Moron-Mafia colostomy-brain pathetic nipple-biter noisome
irrelevant be-sure-to-say-"when" deportee-from-the-Land-of-Good-Taste
bile-inducing ridiculous feverish malignant feeble nauseating dribbly
schmuck blisteringly-dull brane-challenged etiquette-impaired
mouth-breathing intellectual-pea lard-butt unremarkable dozen-word-
vocabulary amateurish King-of-Denial weenerbrane useless trivial
sleep-inducing nightmarish disagreeable snotty prize-winning-jerk limp
illogical uncouth piddling blue-ribbon-scumbag negligible insulting
unreasonable pablum-puking strange little putz. Go home.

Harry "feel free to not come back" Teasley

--
"there are two types of people in the world: those who answer 'two-fifty'
to that question, and those who do not."


Phil Edwards

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May 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/8/96
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Patrick wrote:
>
> In article <4mnnk2$p...@netnews.upenn.edu>,

> wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu (Matthew P Wiener) wrote:
> >In article <4mmimq$o...@news2.cais.com>, jschmitz@qis (JoAnne Schmitz) writes:
> >>wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu (Matthew P Wiener) wrote:
> >>
> >>>In article <3187A9...@dircon.co.uk>, Phil Edwards <news-uk@dircon

> writes:
> >>>>Could I just point out that no one in Britain (no one in the
> >>>>English-speaking world AFAIK) has *ever* said "po-tah-to"?
> >

Could I just point out that this is the first time that a posting of mine
has been the cause of someone roundly abusing several other people for
*not* having flamed me - without (on the other hand) expressing any
objection to the content of the original, completely flippant,
low-UL-relevance, not-even-all-that-funny, mark-it-as-read-and-forget-it
posting?

Gosh. They're fighting over me!
--
Phil "Or you could just add another AFAIK" Edwards

James Linn

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May 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/8/96
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In article <4mpj1c$c...@panix2.panix.com>, he...@panix.com (Harry MF

Teasley) wrote:
>
> Matthew, stop being such a maggot-brained pissant foul-smelling cranky
> fucked-up weasel-word-talking moronic asshole shit-for-brains poncy
> danglesocket wannabe know-nothing painful-rectal-itch-of-a-person asswipe
> snot-sucking gaping-wound-where-the-brain-should-be trying annoying sickly
> childish fuckwit dipshit knock-kneed piggy shit-spewing hate-filled
> needle-dick trash-talking ill-conceived personality-transplant-needing
< much more of the same>

Harry,

I've studied it in detail and looked at it from every angle, but I can't
for the life of me figure out why you submitted this in the longest
paillindrome thread. While your submission's literary merit is not at
issue, it fails to meet the requirements of the pallindrome contest.

Wait a minute.....Oh sorry I forgot to check the header, never mind.

Too bad. It would have made an impressive addition to the FAQ.

James "improving my vocabulary through word power" Linn
My opinions are MINE,MINE,MINE!!!

Matthew P Wiener

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May 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/8/96
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In article <4mpj1c$c...@panix2.panix.com>, het3@panix (Harry MF Teasley) writes:
>Matthew P Wiener bequeathed:
>> So what? Why was the claim to mispronounce the word not accompanied by
>> flames and criticism that Phil Edwards was being *unscientific* for
>> asserting such without personally listening to every last Brit or
>> English speaker first?

>Matthew, stop being such a maggot-brained pissant foul-smelling cranky

...

Such a crybaby.

People insulted me, I insulted them back. Deal with it, retard.

Brian Jones

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May 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/8/96
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In article <4mqskg$g...@netnews.upenn.edu>, wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu
(Matthew P Wiener) wrote:

> People insulted me, I insulted them back. Deal with it, retard.

All together now...

Everybody ready?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Like, *plonk*, retard."

Brian "Harry, you misplet 'clue-retardant'" Jones
--
The Sons of Confederate Veterans now make a compelling argument when
they state that we should love their flag because of the gallantry of
many soldiers of the Confederacy. Why were they silent during the
years their flag's image was being stolen by the KKK and others?

Mike D'Angelo

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May 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/9/96
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Matthew P Wiener (wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu) wrote:

: That was my question--you have not addressed it.

Several people have now answered your question, which, in a nutshell,
amounts to "how come you didn't pick on Phil Edwards, when he made the
same mistake for which I was raked over the coals?" The answer, provided
succinctly by Angus Johnston and Jason Heimbaugh, and in expanded form by
Harry Teasley, is that we like Phil, and we loathe you.

Mike "oh...was that not the answer you wanted?" D'Angelo

Matthew P Wiener

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May 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/9/96
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In article <4mrlv7$f...@news.duke.edu>, ekelly@acpub (Emily Kelly) writes:
>Matthew P Wiener <wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu> astutely observes:

>>In article <4mougi$7...@news.duke.edu>, ekelly@acpub (Emily Kelly) writes:

>>>Besides which, we were able to extrapolate supporting evidence from our
>>>vast databank of examples of "buffet" pronunciation.

>>You didn't answer the question.

>Like, duh, rallantando. Do I get extra points because I wasn't trying to?

No.

Matthew P Wiener

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May 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/9/96
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In article <4mrvm8$n...@news.nyu.edu>, mqd8478@is2 (Mike D'Angelo) writes:
>Matthew P Wiener (wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu) wrote:

>: That was my question--you have not addressed it.

>Several people have now answered your question, which, in a nutshell,
>amounts to "how come you didn't pick on Phil Edwards, when he made the
>same mistake for which I was raked over the coals?" The answer, provided
>succinctly by Angus Johnston and Jason Heimbaugh, and in expanded form by
>Harry Teasley, is that we like Phil, and we loathe you.

No, that was not my question, and they have not answered it yet. You see,
I don't care about flames or your lack of friendship either way. I mean,
go for it. Like, woo. Xenopsylla cheopis rules forever. Nit nit nit.

What I am asking about is why were the response so *maggotbrained* to
begin with. Utter, total mumpsimus. Duh exponential.

For example, the counterexample provided to Phil, while friendly, was in
fact a counterexample (presumably of the doesn't count variety). It would
have remained a counterexample had it been presented rudely.

He could have also received a response like "begging your pardon, Master
Phil, but you haven't apparently verified every last instance of people
saying `potato', and I'm sorry to say that's just not scientific of you,
and here in folklore we believe in being scientific about these matters."
Very polite, yes, but deepdoo maggotbrained retarded.

Now, someone could have refuted my remarks by saying, "what a bunch of
bleepbleepbleep, you doopdoopdoop, over in France they tell the story
about how the English parliament accidently set pi to 3.4 as part of
the conversion to decimal pence, ayuck yuck yuck". _That_ would have
been intelligent, with or without xenograft rejection. No such luck.

So, why the maggotbrained responses? As distinct from the hostility.

Matthew P Wiener

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May 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/9/96
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In article <319282...@dircon.co.uk>, Phil Edwards <news-uk@dircon writes:
>Now, this looks like a potentially interesting discussion, which could
>result in an approach to evaluating postings simultaneously along
>"polite/rude", "intelligent/crass" and "friendly/hostile" scales. Why
>anyone should want to have such a discussion in AFU is another matter.

Indeed. I seem to be generating a lot of loudly proclaimed noninterest
while simultaneously generating a large number of such evaluations. A
most unfascinating paradox.

>However, if Matthew actually wants to talk about these issues (as opposed
>to just being snotty and annoying people) he really needs to

> - do something about his own vocabulary and approach
> (which are currently well over towards the rude/crass/hostile end
> of the scales)

Which way was the article you responded to tipping? (For example, I
used the advanced vocabulary word "mumpsimus", which I thought was on
the approved list, having introduced it as the official AFU Latin motto
some years back.) Both on its own and relative to previous articles of
mine, if you please. I have a difficult time gauging these matters,
especially in such a peculiar locale as the AFU ward, and appreciate
your assistance.

Much obliged.

> - pick a *slightly* stronger example to start with

Good point. What with the 17-year locusts coming out any day now, this
just seemed to be an ideal time for maggotbrain picking.

>and
> - leave me out of it... *please*...

Begging your pardon, Master Phil ... that's just not scientific of you.

>Phil "Nice to know someone read it, though" Edwards

Are you a one-l Phil or a two-l Phil? (Is that polite? Am I encroaching
on a possibly embarrassing issue? Testing, testing ...)

Phil Edwards

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May 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/9/96
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Matthew P Wiener wrote:
>

> No, that was not my question, and they have not answered it yet. You see,
> I don't care about flames or your lack of friendship either way. I mean,
> go for it. Like, woo. Xenopsylla cheopis rules forever. Nit nit nit.
>
> What I am asking about is why were the response so *maggotbrained* to
> begin with. Utter, total mumpsimus. Duh exponential.
>
> For example, the counterexample provided to Phil, while friendly, was in
> fact a counterexample (presumably of the doesn't count variety). It would
> have remained a counterexample had it been presented rudely.
>
> He could have also received a response like "begging your pardon, Master
> Phil, but you haven't apparently verified every last instance of people
> saying `potato', and I'm sorry to say that's just not scientific of you,
> and here in folklore we believe in being scientific about these matters."
> Very polite, yes, but deepdoo maggotbrained retarded.
>

And so on and so forth.

Now, this looks like a potentially interesting discussion, which could
result in an approach to evaluating postings simultaneously along
"polite/rude", "intelligent/crass" and "friendly/hostile" scales. Why
anyone should want to have such a discussion in AFU is another matter.

However, if Matthew actually wants to talk about these issues (as opposed

to just being snotty and annoying people) he really needs to

- do something about his own vocabulary and approach
(which are currently well over towards the rude/crass/hostile end
of the scales)

- pick a *slightly* stronger example to start with

and
- leave me out of it... *please*...

Phil "Nice to know someone read it, though" Edwards

Dom Powell

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May 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/9/96
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In article <4mpj1c$c...@panix2.panix.com>,
Harry MF Teasley <he...@panix.com> wrote:

>Matthew, stop being such a[n] ... earwig ...

Earwig?

-- Dom | Pie Jesu, Domine, dona eis requiem.... (Whack!) |
Torquewrench, earwig, I dunno....

NOW what?

Bo Bradham

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May 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/9/96
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Matthew P Wiener <wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu> wrote:
>
>What I am asking about is why were the response so *maggotbrained* to
>begin with. Utter, total mumpsimus. Duh exponential.
>
> [yadda yadda]

>So, why the maggotbrained responses? As distinct from the hostility.


I was not aware that "maggotbrained" is a technical term, and I
expect a lot of other people are in the same boat. Maybe
that is why you're not getting any satisfactory answers.

Bo "you don't have many friends do you?" Bradham
--
"We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of
those Virginia Reels without losing his grip, may be depended
upon in any kind of musical emergency."
-- Mark Twain.

Lizz Braver

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May 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/9/96
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In article <4mtm36$6...@panix2.panix.com>, bra...@panix.com says...

>
>I was not aware that "maggotbrained" is a technical term, and I
>expect a lot of other people are in the same boat. Maybe
>that is why you're not getting any satisfactory answers.

Any man that considers the word "retard" as an appropriate insult IS a
maggotbrain. How insulting to the retarded citizens of the world! It makes
him sound like he would use the word "nigger", but since he doesn't know
what color we are, he goes for another cheap, disgusting epithet, without
thinking of its impact on those of us with developmently-disabled kids.

Lizz "" Braver


Matthew P Wiener

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May 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/9/96
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In article <4mtm36$6...@panix2.panix.com>, bradham@panix (Bo Bradham) writes:
>Matthew P Wiener <wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu> wrote:

>>So, why the maggotbrained responses? As distinct from the hostility.

>I was not aware that "maggotbrained" is a technical term, and I


>expect a lot of other people are in the same boat.

Oh dear. Good point.

A "maggot on the brain" is just a whimsical, fantastic, eccentric idea or
whim. To be "maggotbrained" is thus to have a mind overly brimmed with odd
and offbeat and amusing thoughts. AFU is loaded with such maggotbrained
thinking. It just seemed so unfair to poor Phil that he received none of
this gifted, concentrated attention you are all famous for, and received
just ordinary dull responses, while a mere mite like myself evoked such a
rich and imagined parallel universe of thought. You understand my concern,
I hope.

> Maybe that is why
>you're not getting any satisfactory answers.

That could be it. I hope this elementary vocabulary lesson is of help.

>Bo "you don't have many friends do you?" Bradham

Not many stupid friends, no. I manage.

Michele Tepper

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May 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/9/96
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Matthew P Wiener <wee...@sagi.wistar.upenn.edu> wrote:
>In article <4mpj1c$c...@panix2.panix.com>, het3@panix (Harry MF Teasley) writes:

>> [brilliant flame deleted]

>People insulted me, I insulted them back. Deal with it, retard.

Sigh.

*Plonk*

Michele "the rest is silence" Tepper

--
Michele Tepper "...unworthy laborious bet-you-think-I-can't-
mte...@panix.com keep-this-up-bet-I-can..." -- HMF Teasley

Michele Tepper

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May 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/9/96
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In article <99...@rook.ukc.ac.uk>, Dom Powell <mh...@ukc.ac.uk> wrote:
>In article <4mpj1c$c...@panix2.panix.com>,
>Harry MF Teasley <he...@panix.com> wrote:
>
>>Matthew, stop being such a[n] ... earwig ...
>
>Earwig?

Yup. Pull out your dic: it's in there.

As the OED says:

earwig i<e>.rwig. Forms: 1, 2 earwicga, (1 eorwicga), 5 erwyge,
3erwigge, erewygge, 6 erwygge, (herewigge), 6-7 earwigge, 7 earwick,
earewigg, 6- earwig. OE. éarwicga, f. éar-e, ear sb.1 +OE. wicga
earwig; cf. wiggle v. to wriggle. See also arwygyll. Cf. Fr.
perce-oreille, Ger. ohr-wurm.

1. An insect, Forficula auricularia, so called from the notion that it
penetrates into the head through the ear.

I also find the third definition quite appropriate:

3. Comb., as
EARWIG-BRAIN

earwig-brain, one who has a `maggot' or craze in his brain.

Enough said. The lesson learned here, Dom? The man is a linguistic
genius. Never, ever, *ever* quibble with Harry's word choices.

Michele "at least not in public" Tepper

Ewan Kirk

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May 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM5/9/96
to

In Article <4mrcqf$r...@netnews.upenn.edu> Matthew P Wiener finally writes:
>
>Yawn.
>

Right. You're bored with us, we're bored with you. Let's just all
go our separate ways.

Ewan "move right along now folks, Matthew is going to find
somebody more interesting to bother" Kirk.

--E.