Soap and the hotel maid
Evan...@my-dejanews.com
Someone forwarded me the classic Internet humor piece about the guy who had
problems getting the soap he wanted from a London hotel. The person who sent
it to me wanted to know if it is a true story. Anyone know:
Email that was forwarded to me:
>The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London
>>hotel and one of its guests. The Hotel ended up submitting the letters
>>to the London Sunday Times.
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>Dear Maid,
>>Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom
>>since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six
>>unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another
>>three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you,
>>S. Berman
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>Dear Room 635,
>>I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from
>>her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you
>>requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on
>>top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This
>>leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the
>>management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
>>Kathy, Relief Maid
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.
>>Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the
>>little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found
>>you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet.
>>I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my
>>own bath-size Dial, so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on
>>the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.
>>Please remove them.
>>S. Berman
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>Dear Mr. Berman,
>>My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we
>>are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your
>>way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was.
>>I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't
>>remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the
>>medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to
>>when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further
>>assistance. Your regular maid,
>>Dotty
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>Dear Mr. Berman,
>>The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you
>>called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service.
>>I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my
>>apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints
>>please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension
>>1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.
>>Elaine Carmen
>>Housekeeper
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>Dear Miss Carmen,
>>It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for
>>business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the
>>reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty.
>>I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little
>>bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a
>>new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my
>>medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the
>>bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars
>>of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
>>S. Berman
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>Dear Mr. Berman,
>>Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your
>>room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance,
>>please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you,
>>Elaine Carmen,
>>Housekeeper
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>Dear Mr. Kensedder,
>>My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room
>
>>including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to
>>call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
>>S. Berman
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>Dear Mr. Berman,
>>I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I
>>cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are
>>instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The
>>situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for
>>the inconvenience.
>>Martin L. Kensedder
>>Assistant Manager
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>Dear Mrs. Carmen,
>>Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last
>>night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of
>>Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have
>>54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give
>>me back my bath-size Dial.
>>S. Berman
>>-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>Dear Mr. Berman,
>>You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them moved. Then
>>you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I
>>personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3
>>Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about
>>the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had
>>returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays.
>>I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial.
>>I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
>>Elaine Carmen
>>Housekeeper
>>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>Dear Mrs. Carmen,
>>Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory.
>>As of today I possess:
>>* On the shelf under medicine cabinet, 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1
>>stack of 2.
>>* On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
>>* On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4
>>hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
>>* Inside the medicine cabinet, 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
>>* In the shower soap dish, 6 Camay, very moist.
>>* On the northeast corner of tub, 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
>>* On the northwest corner of tub, 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
>>Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are
>>neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more
>>than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill
>>is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries.
>>One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am
>>keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
>>S. Berman
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Billy Newsom
I hope I'm not partially responsible for this one. I saw this story on
the *web* recently, and I then sent a mail to a few friends with the URL
of the story.
Only God knows whether it made the rounds to you like that.
Here's the link:
http://www.bargain-mall.com/soap.htm
Now I know I wasn't following links from Snopes or urbanlegends, I was
looking for flea markets.
Billy "but does it float?" Newsom
Håkon Styri
Evan...@my-dejanews.com wrote in article
<6jhic3$15b$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>...
> Someone forwarded me the classic Internet humor piece about the guy who
had
> problems getting the soap he wanted from a London hotel. The person who
sent
> it to me wanted to know if it is a true story. Anyone know:
>
> Email that was forwarded to me:
>
> >The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a
London
> >>hotel and one of its guests. The Hotel ended up submitting the letters
> >>to the London Sunday Times.
We know it, you'd be able to sort that out if you used
Deja News for searching rather than posting. Anyway,
I think snopes posted the story some 5 years ago.
Umberto Eco published a very similar story in his book
"How to Travel With a Salmon & Other Essays" (It's
the title story). Recommended reading.
--
Håkon "YuNoHoo" Styri
GrapeApe
I remember pass discussion here tracing the story back to the 1890s' at least.
I never found that homage paid to the story by James Thurber, in which he uses
the same correspondence misunderstanding hook between himself and a local book
vendor to fill up his home with copies of his latest book.
JoAnne Schmitz
On Fri, 15 May 1998 14:10:03 GMT, Evan...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
>Someone forwarded me the classic Internet humor piece about the guy who had
>problems getting the soap he wanted from a London hotel. The person who sent
>it to me wanted to know if it is a true story. Anyone know:
Mr. Berman is Shelley Berman, the comedian. It's a joke.
JoAnne "you're probably too young to remember him" Schmitz
Jason
This story has been circulating longer than the Internet has existed...I read it
originally on a very old yellowed piece of typing paper that came from a
relative's office in the 1960's. I was always under the impression that it was
fictional humor.
---------
Jason
stri...@nospam.mindspring.com
The above e-mail address has been modified to avoid SPAM.
If you can't figure out how to fix it, please don't send
me mail.
Dan Hartung
This sounds a lot like the problem I had at a Hyatt Regency in Denver.
1. Maid leaves 1 decaf and 1 regular coffee. (First two nights)
2. I use regular coffee to make coffee. I prepare coffee at 11pm night
before
so I can just press a button on waking.
3. Maid "refills" basket with 1 decaf. I now have 2 decafs.
4. I call front desk; they apologize and quickly deliver a new coffee.
5. I examine coffee; it's ANOTHER DECAF!
5a. Vendor changed design, eliminating bright orange stripe on decaf
packets.
6. Front desk comes back with regular coffee.
7. Sleep. Drink coffee, go to office, return.
7a. At 11pm, discover once again, 2 decafs!
7b. This just will not do.
8. Front desk delivers regular coffee.
9. (See 7.)
9a. Enter bathroom, discover little wicker basket full of about 6 regular
coffees,
still with the lone orange-stripe decaf bag.
10. (See 7.)
11. Enter bathroom, discover little wicker basket with the veteran decaf
bag,
AND A SINGLE NEW DECAF BAG WITH NO STRIPE!!!!
12. No tip for hotel help .....
Note of irony: Pop machine on my floor contains ONLY caffeinated soda.
There's nothing to drink in the evening but water. Also, it costs a dollar
but
doesn't take billls .... sheesh .....
(Oh well, it beat the Adams Mark from Hell hands down)
H.W.M.
Dan Hartung wrote:
>
>
> 1 regular coffee.
Try http://www.memoriesoffinland.com ; they sell you real "Juhla Mokka" ,
decaf resembles non-alcoholic vodka...;-) HWM - decaf ? no, I got somer
diesel fuel though-
>
H.W.M.
I encountered somethin similar in Algarve trying to convince my maid not to open
the venetian blinds, as the room came hot with the sun shining in and I doid not
particularly enjoy the building site next door. They managed to make me feel
very clean though, as I lost all my tan going in the bathroom thy doused with
chlorine bleach daily...
HWM -feeling like Michael Jackson-