hamster stories
Rob D
southwestern Oklahoma was fired from the TV station after he had been
admitted to the emergency room with a hamster stuck up his
rectum...apparently, the TV station was flooded with calls in the weeks
following his sudden departure from the station with people wanting to
confirm the rumor...I moved out of state, and just came back this summer,
and now this story has changed...now it is that one of the M.... brothers,
who own a chain of furniture stores that are advertised on local TV, was the
person admitted to the ER for hamster removal...I believe that this is a
local twist on the story that "hamstering" is a common practice in the gay
community...I know many gay people, and as far as I know, not one has done
this...this UL seems to serve the function of "proving" the "perversity" of
gays...my question is this...has anyone ever thought to check out with pet
shops if there are people buying large numbers of hamsters, or repeat
hamster customers??? has anyone ever produced an emergency room report that
confirms an alleged hamstering...of course, there's always someone who says
" I know so-and-so that works at **hospital, and they were there when
so-and-so came in with the hamster up their butt..." Has all the earmarks
of an UL to me.............Rob D
Crash
> about 7 years ago, there was a rumor that one of the local
> weathermen in
> southwestern Oklahoma was fired from the TV station after he had
> been
> admitted to the emergency room with a hamster stuck up his
> rectum
<>
Wow, so Richard Gere started out as a weatherman?
--
Crash 'I was in the Wethermen in the 60's' Johnson
John Francis
<dubious felching story snipped>
> Has all the earmarks of an UL to me.............Rob D
I didn't think hamster ears would leave marks?
--
John "definitely *not* the hamster of anything" Francis
Ian A. York
Crash <crash...@ezonline.com> wrote:
>Rob D wrote:
>> about 7 years ago, there was a rumor that one of the local
>> weathermen in
>> southwestern Oklahoma was fired from the TV station after he had
>> been
>> admitted to the emergency room with a hamster stuck up his
>> rectum
>
>Wow, so Richard Gere started out as a weatherman?
This UL (and it's false, by the way) seems particularly attached to
weathermen. There's probably some popular culture reason for that, which
I don't know because I don't watch TV. It's been ascribed to weathermen
from quite a few cities, starting with Chicago, I think. (Tentatively,
the whole gerbil-stuffing legend originated in Chicago--or at least, that
seems to be the location of the earliest reports I know of).
The reason I say it's false is that, despite some 15 years' worth of
claims of widespread gerbilstuffing, there hasn't been a single
believable, let alone verifiable, cite. There have been a couple of
reports of X-rays of GI gerbils, but not by anyone who knew the background
of the X-rays (and I'm moderately skeptical as to whether both X-rays
reported did exist; even if they did, faking them would be
straightforward). There have been one or two people who claimed to be ER
techs or ER doctors who claimed it happened on a regular basis, but those
people then refused to say where they worked, including the city, and
seemed remarkably clueless about any ER procedures or medical literature.
No doctors I know (including ER specialists), and no paramedics I know,
have ever seen a case or heard of one from a reliable source. No case has
ever been reported in the medical literature, which is rife with account
of objects inserted per rectum. And I have a note from a professor in a
medical school who has offered a bounty for any of his former students who
see a case, with no takers as yet.
Ian
--
Ian York (iay...@panix.com) <http://www.panix.com/~iayork/>
"-but as he was a York, I am rather inclined to suppose him a
very respectable Man." -Jane Austen, The History of England
Brian Sefton
fatal disease and now, before it succumbs, wants to go into the guiness book of
world records as the rectal hamster who recieved more postcards than any other.
Tell all your friends should send a post card to the following address.
The Unfortunate Hamster
#1 Weathermans Butt
Emergency Room, Local Hospital
Marryyoursisterville, Southwestern Oaklhoma. 54188
USA
Postcards only please, no large packages.
Each person should then tell 5 more people to send postcards.
Brian (Please read the above in a sarcastic tone)
Rob D wrote:
> about 7 years ago, there was a rumor that one of the local weathermen in
> southwestern Oklahoma was fired from the TV station after he had been
> admitted to the emergency room with a hamster stuck up his
> rectum...ar up their butt..."
Alan Follett
<snip rodent-abuse legend>
Escalated to hamsters, has it now? Actually, this one is more usually
told concerning gerbils; hamsters are considerably larger, and, if only
for that reason, less plausible. Try a search on www.dejanews.com for
alt.folklore.urban and gerbil, and you'll find about 1200 posts on this
topic.
Alan "gerbils, passé; hamsters, booooring! ....bring on them
squirrels, beavers, and capybaras!" Follett
Terence P Higgins
> Escalated to hamsters, has it now? Actually, this one is more usually
told concerning gerbils; hamsters are considerably larger, and, if only
for that reason, less plausible.
I'll see you that hamster and raise you a guinea pig. Preferably
an Abyssinian...
Terry "they're a bitch to clean up after" Higgins
--
don't say a word
don't say anything
don't say a word
i'm not even listening
SOCCERNUMB
>> Escalated to hamsters, has it now? Actually, this one is more usually
> told concerning gerbils; hamsters are considerably larger, and, if only
>for that reason, less plausible.
> I'll see you that hamster and raise you a guinea pig. Preferably
>an Abyssinian...
How about a white mouse? There was a link here a while back to a site which
apparently actually showed the inertion of a white mouse.
Brian Sefton
Teg Pipes
> Crash <crash...@ezonline.com> wrote:
> >Rob D wrote:
> >> about 7 years ago, there was a rumor that one of the local
> >> weathermen in
> >> southwestern Oklahoma was fired from the TV station after he had
> >> been
> >> admitted to the emergency room with a hamster stuck up his
> >
> >Wow, so Richard Gere started out as a weatherman?
>
> This UL (and it's false, by the way) seems particularly attached to
> weathermen. There's probably some popular culture reason for that, which
> I don't know because I don't watch TV. It's been ascribed to weathermen
> from quite a few cities, starting with Chicago, I think. (Tentatively,
> the whole gerbil-stuffing legend originated in Chicago--or at least, that
> seems to be the location of the earliest reports I know of).
Wow- I never noticed the weatherman part. When I heard this UL in 4th
grade, it concerned a Philadelphia-market weatherman, Jerry Pennacoli.
So, I'm in 20th grade now and it's 1998...errrr...so I first heard it in
1982.
-Teg
Ian A. York
Teg Pipes <t...@fruitfly.berkeley.edu> wrote:
>
>So, I'm in 20th grade now and it's 1998...errrr...so I first heard it in
>1982.
You probably caught the first wave, then; early 80s is about right, I
think. Cecil Adams ran into around that time. There's a book, published in
1986, in which Richard Caleel says he say a GI gerbil x-ray; the book is
autobiographical, and set in the late 60s/early 1970s; but the timing is
one of the reasons I'm a little dubious about it--he would have been
writing the book at the time the story was peaking, and may have taken a
story he heard and re-set it for his book.
Anyone heard a version earlier than 1982?
eppie250
claims of widespread gerbilstuffing, there hasn't been a single
believable, let alone verifiable, cite.>>
i here you werk with viree an i gess it is true an you mustuv cot the
stoopedity viras cuz that is just the dummest thing i ever herd an if i
was you i wood be ashamet of dusplayin my ignorunts so pubicly
us hear at the epunthetik moovmunt has investugated this mater vary
thoreauly by askin the genuses at rek.org.mensa an they say stufin
jerbils is there favrit passtime cept four watchin glas flo( witch is a
nother thing your wrong about )so i gess that is that an now i hope you
well be kwiet til you kno watt you ar talkin about witch i bet well be a
offal long time ok that is all
eppie" you ar prolly so igorunt you dont no this is a epunthetik "250
P>S> i am sorry you wimmin an chillrun hadta witnuss that feersum dusplay
of my manlee fordatude butt peepul like een yourk must be delt with
severally less they korrode the vary morel fibre of hour sosiety ok that
is relly all this time by
James Wallis
>my question is this...has anyone ever thought to check out with pet
>shops if there are people buying large numbers of hamsters, or repeat
>hamster customers???
Yes. They tend to own snakes.
--
James Wallis (ja...@erstwhile.demon.co.uk)
"There is no such thing as adventure. There's no such thing as romance.
There's only trouble and desire" -- from Simple Men, a Hal Hartley film
James Wallis
the flammable gas explosion one -- that gives an issue of the Lancet as
its source. Just so that nobody else has to be laughed at down the phone
by the Lancet's archivist... it doesn't check out.
Emily Harrison Kelly
>
>This UL (and it's false, by the way) seems particularly attached to
>weathermen. There's probably some popular culture reason for that, which
>I don't know because I don't watch TV.
In the US at least, there's a stereotypical association of local weathermen
with sad geekdom--that's why Bill Murray was a weatherman in "Groundhog
Day". I think the idea is that either they're not really meteorologists
but couldn't get one of the cool posts, or else they *are* meteorologists
and thus incorrigible nerds. Either way, they're such sad geeks they don't
even mind going on the teevee and shamelessly displaying their geekitude
to the masses. Given that view of weathermen, they're natural targets
for stories of ridiculous (and demeaning) perversions.
It's not an attitude I really understand, and it's one that's contradicted
by all kinds of things on all levels--"cool" celebrities like Dave Letterman
who started out as weathermen, the enduring popularity of the Weather Channel,
the fascination most kids show when they learn about cloud types and other
atmospheric science, our dependence on weather forecasts. But meanwhile,
All Local Weathermen Are Sad Geeks.
Emily "Boston weather today: it's wicked fucking cold" Kelly
--
Emily Harrison Kelly "Maybe Christmas is a double-edged sword with a
eke...@world.std.com vibrating Stim-U-Luxe clitoral knob."
--Rob McGee
For the AFU FAQ: http://www.urbanlegends.com/afu.faq/
JasCJones
>In the US at least, there's a stereotypical association of local weathermen
>with sad geekdom--that's why Bill Murray was a weatherman in "Groundhog
<snippage>
>the fascination most kids show when they learn about cloud types and other
>atmospheric science, our dependence on weather forecasts. But meanwhile,
>All Local Weathermen Are Sad Geeks.
>Emily "Boston weather today: it's wicked fucking cold" Kelly
True in many locations. Local stations in Florida often employ several
meteorologists. I know of only one weather babe in Central Florida, and I think
she is a meteorologist.
Jim "Business lunch today. Outdoor cafe. Sandals and shorts. Budgets and torts.
na nana na na" Jones
AOL made a profit last quarter - JasC...@aol.common.org
Lord Jubjub
jasc...@aol.common.org (JasCJones) wrote:
> eke...@world.std.com (Emily Harrison Kelly) delivered this bolt of insight:
>
> >In the US at least, there's a stereotypical association of local weathermen
> >with sad geekdom--that's why Bill Murray was a weatherman in "Groundhog
>
> <snippage>
>
> >the fascination most kids show when they learn about cloud types and other
> >atmospheric science, our dependence on weather forecasts. But meanwhile,
> >All Local Weathermen Are Sad Geeks.
> >Emily "Boston weather today: it's wicked fucking cold" Kelly
>
> True in many locations. Local stations in Florida often employ several
> meteorologists. I know of only one weather babe in Central Florida, and
I think
> she is a meteorologist.
There's a couple of female meterologists in Houston. Also a number of
male meteorologists that do not come close to fitting the classic
definitions of geekdom.
--
Lord Jubjub, Ruler of the Jabbewocky
Rob D
referred to them as the M.... Brothers.....when I moved back here in June 98
it had become as such...BTW, I KNOW one of the infamous brothers!!!! He got
really pissed off when he heard the story ad nauseum, and moved to a
different town, <I am told >(by one of them fools that believes the UL)
--
"foeto ergo sum" Rob D
>You forgot to also mention the same rumor concerning the Mathis Brothers
>(owners of a large furniture store chain in the OKC area). Rumor had
>it that they were homosexual and had the same thing happen, etc. It
>was all over the place (the rumor, that is) in high school.
Mike Holmans
>In article <75rhmj$8...@panix3.panix.com>, Ian A. York <iay...@panix.com> wrote:
>>
>>This UL (and it's false, by the way) seems particularly attached to
>>weathermen. There's probably some popular culture reason for that, which
>>I don't know because I don't watch TV.
>
>with sad geekdom--that's why Bill Murray was a weatherman in "Groundhog
>but couldn't get one of the cool posts, or else they *are* meteorologists
>and thus incorrigible nerds. Either way, they're such sad geeks they don't
>even mind going on the teevee and shamelessly displaying their geekitude
>to the masses. Given that view of weathermen, they're natural targets
>for stories of ridiculous (and demeaning) perversions.
Across the pond, I don't think I've ever heard a story involving bizarre
sexual practices involving Michael Fish, Ian Macaskill, or Bill Giles,
prolly the three best-known employees of the Meteorological Office to
appear on BBC weather broadcasts.
Mostly, I think, this is because it is almost impossible to imagine. For
these men are amongst the highest-ranking members of the Grand Lodge of
Geekmasonry. Although their shirts tend to be unexceptionable, the
mismatch between the 1950s secondary-modern-school-teacher jackets and
1968-style kipper ties is distinctly painful. The beer-bottle specs and
the ill-groomed but thinning hair only add to the effect. Discovering
that any of these avuncular gentlemen had sex would be as disturbing to
the nation's psyche as it was when the genial and avuncular presenter of
Grandstand and Nationwide, Frank Bough, was outed as a coke-sniffer and
consorter with ladies of easy virtue.
However, the newer TV channels have said goodbye to boring weatherman
misery, by hiring various bimbettes to tell us that things are going to
get pretty sultry overnight, including one channel where a Scandihoovian
blonde predicts the UKoGBaNI weather in Norwegian and then switches to
broken English to tell us what it will be like in Stavanger on the
morrow.
It will not surprise anyone that since they were hired to add sex
appeal, weatherperson fantasy sex stories tend to involve the latter
rather than the former group.
Mike "it's raining, men" Holmans
El Sig doesn't mind as long as Signora has a warm front
--
I prefer Yorkshire terriers myself, deep fried in a good beer batter.
- Wibble
Read lotsa fine stuff, including the FAQ, at http://www.urbanlegends.com
bu...@hotmail.com
Ian A. York wrote:
>
> This UL (and it's false, by the way) seems particularly attached to
> weathermen. There's probably some popular culture reason for that, which
> I don't know because I don't watch TV. It's been ascribed to weathermen
> from quite a few cities, starting with Chicago, I think. (Tentatively,
> the whole gerbil-stuffing legend originated in Chicago--or at least, that
> seems to be the location of the earliest reports I know of).
A weatherman in Little Rock was caught soliciting gay sex at a local park a
couple of years back. He was fired immediately.
Robert Plante
(John Francis) wrote:
><dubious felching story snipped>
I always thought "felching" was sucking the sperm from a rectum; at least
according to painter Robert Williams, who did an underground comic of that
name in the late '60s.
Robert "Never Owned A Gerbil or Hamster" Plante
http://home.att.net/~rtplante/home.html
KKPdude
If these x-rays were to exist, they would be probably be found here:
http://www.justmeat.com/DeepInside/
Don't look if y'all are squeamish...
The Dude
Keith
>>>about 7 years ago, there was a rumor that one of the local weathermen in
>>>southwestern Oklahoma was fired from the TV station after he had been
>>>admitted to the emergency room with a hamster stuck up his rectum
>>Wow, so Richard Gere started out as a weatherman?
>This UL (and it's false, by the way) seems particularly attached to
>weathermen. There's probably some popular culture reason for that, which
>I don't know because I don't watch TV. It's been ascribed to weathermen
>from quite a few cities, starting with Chicago, I think. (Tentatively,
>the whole gerbil-stuffing legend originated in Chicago--or at least, that
>seems to be the location of the earliest reports I know of).
>
>The reason I say it's false is that, despite some 15 years' worth of
>claims of widespread gerbilstuffing, there hasn't been a single
>believable, let alone verifiable, cite. There have been a couple of
>reports of X-rays of GI gerbils, but not by anyone who knew the background
>of the X-rays (and I'm moderately skeptical as to whether both X-rays
>reported did exist; even if they did, faking them would be
>straightforward). There have been one or two people who claimed to be ER
>techs or ER doctors who claimed it happened on a regular basis, but those
>people then refused to say where they worked, including the city, and
>seemed remarkably clueless about any ER procedures or medical literature.
>No doctors I know (including ER specialists), and no paramedics I know,
>have ever seen a case or heard of one from a reliable source. No case has
>ever been reported in the medical literature, which is rife with account
>of objects inserted per rectum. And I have a note from a professor in a
>medical school who has offered a bounty for any of his former students who
>see a case, with no takers as yet.
Is 'gerbilstuffing' a proper verb????
To gerbilstuff:
I gerbilstuff
You gerbilstuff
Keith
SOCCERNUMB
>
>To gerbilstuff:
>
>I gerbilstuff
>You gerbilstuff
>
> Keith
sum gerbilstuuferi ?
es gerbilstufferi ?
est gerbilstufferi ?
summus gerbilstufferi ?
estu gerbilstufferi ?
sunt gerbilstufferi ?
NewzJunkie
What did the gerbil say when Richard Gere walked into the pet store?
"Woof! Woof!"
NJ
Simon_S...@webtv.net
The Magical World |
of | < BR> |
Simon Sociopath |
Click Here
Ben Walsh
>It's not an attitude I really understand, and it's one that's contradicted
>by all kinds of things on all levels--"cool" celebrities like Dave
Letterman
>who started out as weathermen, the enduring popularity of the Weather
Channel,
>the fascination most kids show when they learn about cloud types and other
>atmospheric science, our dependence on weather forecasts. But meanwhile,
>All Local Weathermen Are Sad Geeks.
Well, all the local weathermen in I've seen in this country are gibbering
morons who use childish and imprecise words.
ben "" w.
Ben Walsh
>However, the newer TV channels have said goodbye to boring weatherman
>misery, by hiring various bimbettes to tell us that things are going to
>get pretty sultry overnight, including one channel where a Scandihoovian
>blonde predicts the UKoGBaNI weather in Norwegian and then switches to
>broken English to tell us what it will be like in Stavanger on the
>morrow.
>
>It will not surprise anyone that since they were hired to add sex
>appeal, weatherperson fantasy sex stories tend to involve the latter
>rather than the former group.
Ulllllriiiika-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka
ben "fancy a game of topless darts, luv?" w.
Kennedy
> jfra...@dungeon.engr.sgi.com
> (John Francis) wrote:
> > <dubious felching story snipped>
>
> I always thought "felching" was sucking the sperm from a rectum; at least
> according to painter Robert Williams, who did an underground comic of that
> name in the late '60s.
I believe the definition in either the Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex
Practices or one of Love-Peacocks books was that felching can refer to
either the sucking of seman from any orifice _or_ to the stuffing of
small mammals into said orifice. So it's either, though I've only ever
heard it referring to the former. Also, the only sites yielded via web
search that use the gerbil meaning are those with the "Armageddon"
article on them.
I really, really wanted to have a cite for the dual definition, but all
my books are literally still packed away from my move back in August.
My back hurts from going through all the boxes that aren't up in the
attic looking for the correct tome. Only for you, AFU. (If anyone can
find their copy of the Odd Index, I know it's definitly mentioned in
there.)
-K. "Heavy lifting" Kennedy
--
Kaneda ŕ c (Kennedy)
wylde...@earthlink.net
UIN:6801093
Jason R. Heimbaugh
>Well, all the local weathermen in I've seen in this country are gibbering
>morons who use childish and imprecise words.
I am not altogether quite a weatherman. Meanyhead.
--
"Freebird! FREEEEEEEEBIIIIIRRRRRRRRDDDDDDD!!" --Michele Tepper