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longest USENET thread ever

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Jeff Robertson

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Jan 19, 1994, 8:30:35 PM1/19/94
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What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?


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| UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA |
| P.O. BOX CO, TUSCALOOSA AL, 35487 |
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Andy Wardley

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Jan 20, 1994, 10:30:09 AM1/20/94
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Jeff Robertson writes:
>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?

This one.

Andy "I hope this goes on forever or I'm gonna look a fool" Wardley

: , , This Spot (Not Allowed) is in no way dedicated
Andy Wardley : -o o- to anyone called Derek, Dave or Terry, Lemurs,
a...@oasis.icl.co.uk : l Leader Kibo, Odd Physics, GIFs or eMOTTOicons.
std dsclmr avlbl : - This line still available - call 0800-SIGRENT.
Kip Crosby tried to escape but I got him back.

Ernst 'pooh' Mulder

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Jan 20, 1994, 5:12:27 PM1/20/94
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Andy Wardley writes:
>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>This one.
It does go on, doesn't it?

pooh
----
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Thomas Beagle

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Jan 20, 1994, 6:00:22 PM1/20/94
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Jeff Robertson <JROB...@ua1vm.ua.edu> wrote:
>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?

This one.

Every article ever posted has just been a follow-up to the first
"Hello world" post...

--
Thomas Beagle | ,__o I was human once, but I'm better now.
Technical Writer | _-\_<, tho...@geac.co.nz
Wellington, NZ | (*)/'(*) +64-4-385-0988 (home) +64-4-233-8186 (work)

Tom Salyers

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Jan 21, 1994, 12:26:33 AM1/21/94
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In a previous article, po...@brokendrum.stack.urc.tue.nl (Ernst 'pooh' Mulder) says:

>
>Andy Wardley writes:
>>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>>This one.

>It does go on, doesn't it?

He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
--
Tom Salyers "Now is the Windows of our disk contents
IRCnick: Aqualung made glorious SimEarth by this Sun of Zork."
Denver, CO ---Richard v3.0

Liam Relihan

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Jan 21, 1994, 6:23:53 AM1/21/94
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Tom Salyers writes:

>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder says:
>>Andy Wardley writes:
>>>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>>>This one.
>>It does go on, doesn't it?
>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too long...take it to e-mail.


Liam "tired of it all" Relihan


---
Liam Relihan, Voice: +353-61-333644 ext.5015
CSIS, Schumann Building, -KIBO- Fax: +353-61-330876
University Of Limerick, E-mail: reli...@ul.ie
Ireland. http://itdsrv1.ul.ie/PERSONNEL/lrelihan.html


Jeff Robertson

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Jan 23, 1994, 8:28:29 PM1/23/94
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In article <CJxpq...@dsbc.icl.co.uk>

a...@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Andy Wardley) writes:

>
>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>
>This one.
>
>Andy "I hope this goes on forever or I'm gonna look a fool" Wardley

Hmmm.... I wonder how we can get the net legends/loons/gods/etc. to post
in this thread ? Mention their names, maybe ?


> : , , This Spot (Not Allowed) is in no way dedicated
> Andy Wardley : -o o- to anyone called Derek, Dave or Terry, Lemurs,
> a...@oasis.icl.co.uk : l Leader Kibo, Odd Physics, GIFs or eMOTTOicons.
> std dsclmr avlbl : - This line still available - call 0800-SIGRENT.
> Kip Crosby tried to escape but I got him back.

Ahh. you've done it.

David Hall

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Jan 24, 1994, 2:36:12 PM1/24/94
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a...@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Andy Wardley) writes:

>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?

Who knows, but I bet the current flame war concerning Vichael on alt.irc
has got to be in the top five. It has been going on for WEEKS and has
easily made up fifty percent of ALL postings to alt.irc in this time.
In fact, I would say closer to 70% but I don't like putting my neck out
and so will only be quoted as saying 50% ;). All told, probably 5 to
7 hundred messages in my estimate....

If my numbers are off, you may sue me for my 80088 w/ hercules graphics
and a 30 Meg hard.


Ernst 'pooh' Mulder

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Jan 24, 1994, 2:44:27 PM1/24/94
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Jeff Robertson writes:
>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?

Andy Wardley writes:
>This one.

If 'longest thread' doesn't necessarily mean 'thread with the highest count
of followups' but 'thread with the longest printout' there's an easy
opening for a new record...

pooh 'sorry, don't blame me!'

John William Chambless

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Jan 24, 1994, 11:22:24 PM1/24/94
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In article <2i17vc$p...@constellation.ecn.uoknor.edu>,

David Hall <deh...@hellcat.ecn.uoknor.edu> wrote:
>a...@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Andy Wardley) writes:
>
>>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>
>Who knows, but I bet the current flame war concerning Vichael on alt.irc
>has got to be in the top five. It has been going on for WEEKS and has
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Not a record at all.

>easily made up fifty percent of ALL postings to alt.irc in this time.


>In fact, I would say closer to 70% but I don't like putting my neck out
>and so will only be quoted as saying 50% ;). All told, probably 5 to
>7 hundred messages in my estimate....
>
>If my numbers are off, you may sue me for my 80088 w/ hercules graphics

^^^^^^ I want one of THESE!
Let's see...off the top of my head, not looking in the archives...
There's the "how do I remove a file named '-' from comp.unix.wizards...
( at least a year so far..)
The " 'move' is less intuitive than 'copy-and-delete' thread from this
humble newgroup ( 3 or 4 months, and still kicking! Hi, Mike!).
The "Furrymuck is for lameoid perverts" thread that Joel Furr keeps
firing back up on alt.fan.furry...
And let's not forhget the "Imminent Death of the Net" theme, which has echoed
at least since the first FidoNet gateway...(or was it Compu$erve?)

Do the cyclical "september threads" count as continuous?

--
* Billy Chambless University of Southern Mississippi
* "If you lie to the compiler, it will get its revenge." Henry Spencer
* I'm not an opinionated jerk, but I play one on the Net.
* GAT -d+ -p+ c++ l u++ e+ s/+ n--- h* g+ w+ t++@ x++ && BOFH

Howard Crosby Warren

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Jan 25, 1994, 3:11:50 AM1/25/94
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David Hall <deh...@hellcat.ecn.uoknor.edu> wrote:

>a...@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Andy Wardley) writes:
>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>
>Who knows, but I bet the current flame war concerning Vichael on alt.irc
>has got to be in the top five. It has been going on for WEEKS and has
>easily made up fifty percent of ALL postings to alt.irc in this time.

I just ran into a series of 'ritual genital mutilation' posts on
some group (alt.folklore.urban? It's crossposted to a million places
anyway..) -- THAT thread was very strong at least two months ago!

--
Howard Crosby Warren cro...@ren.psy.jhu.edu
Department of Psychology
The Johns Hopkins University

ae...@minster.york.ac.uk

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Jan 25, 1994, 5:09:45 AM1/25/94
to
In article <CJz8z...@ul.ie>, Liam Relihan <reli...@ul.ie> wrote:
>
>Tom Salyers writes:
>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder says:
>>>Andy Wardley writes:
>>>>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>>>>This one.
>>>It does go on, doesn't it?
>>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
>Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too long...take it to e-mail.
And the thread grows longer by the day...


Merk

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Jan 25, 1994, 5:39:41 PM1/25/94
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What about the Gravis Ultrasound vs. every other sound board war over on
alt.ibm.pc.hardware.soundcard (or whatever its name is) ?
It's probably been going on since the GUS was introduced.

merk.

R S Rodgers

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Jan 25, 1994, 6:01:04 PM1/25/94
to
In article <2i26q0$7...@whale.st.usm.edu>,

John William Chambless <cham...@whale.st.usm.edu> wrote:
>>In fact, I would say closer to 70% but I don't like putting my neck out
>>and so will only be quoted as saying 50% ;). All told, probably 5 to
>>7 hundred messages in my estimate....


So are we talking longest lasting, or most posts? My own
creation, "Feminist Stupidity Disorder" has lasted for months
(since August? Maybe September) in the alt.feminism/soc.men/soc.women
groups where it is crossposted. In the beginning it created a
small flood of postngs that made up ~50% of the postings to a.f.
It's even kept on topic, as a matter of fact , so it's not just a
subject title that stuck with postings.

Because of the ease of baiting, though, some groups (like af) ought
to be excluded.


>Do the cyclical "september threads" count as continuous?


How about the ongoing, never ending "Is circumcision bad?"
and "Make money fast!!" threads? Both of those are short in
length, but huge in volume, and constantly recurring.


--
New .signature under development. Start your development now! Beat the crowd!

da...@gilly.cca.org

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Jan 25, 1994, 8:58:52 PM1/25/94
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cham...@whale.st.usm.edu (John William Chambless) writes:

>Let's see...off the top of my head, not looking in the archives...
>There's the "how do I remove a file named '-' from comp.unix.wizards...
>( at least a year so far..)
>The " 'move' is less intuitive than 'copy-and-delete' thread from this
>humble newgroup ( 3 or 4 months, and still kicking! Hi, Mike!).
>The "Furrymuck is for lameoid perverts" thread that Joel Furr keeps
>firing back up on alt.fan.furry...
>And let's not forhget the "Imminent Death of the Net" theme, which has echoed
>at least since the first FidoNet gateway...(or was it Compu$erve?)

Those are all recurring, not long-running.

>Do the cyclical "september threads" count as continuous?

It's moot now. September 1993 will go down in net.history as the September
that never ended.

-<=>- Dave Fischer -<=>- Help Fight Ambient Light! -<=>- da...@cca.org -<=>-

Andy Wardley

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Jan 26, 1994, 6:09:25 AM1/26/94
to
>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>Tom Salyers writes:
>>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder says:
>>>>Andy Wardley writes:
>>>>>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>>>>>This one.
>>>>It does go on, doesn't it?
>>>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
>>Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too long...
>>take it to e-mail.
>And the thread grows longer by the day...
How long is a piece of string?

A

John Todd West

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Jan 26, 1994, 8:21:34 AM1/26/94
to
: >>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?

: >>>>>This one.
: >>>>It does go on, doesn't it?
: >>>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
: >>Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too long...
: >>take it to e-mail.
: >And the thread grows longer by the day...
: How long is a piece of string?
If this keeps up much longer, it'll start to cascade, and then the string
will be as long as it takes to wrap up at least eight bored users.

Hg

John Todd West

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Jan 26, 1994, 8:23:36 AM1/26/94
to
R S Rodgers (rsro...@wam.umd.edu) wrote:
: It's even kept on topic, as a matter of fact , so it's not just a
: subject title that stuck with postings.

Obviously not a real thread then. ;)

Hg

Liam Relihan

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Jan 26, 1994, 9:31:57 AM1/26/94
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Get a life or this stupid thread will outlive you

Liam

Dave Woodman

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Jan 26, 1994, 8:35:15 AM1/26/94
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This long. Why ?
--
==============================================================================
= My e-mail address might be woo...@bnr.ca, but Maidenhead is definitely =
= in Britain... My employer is entitled to disagree with anything but this! =
==============================================================================

Matt Simmons

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Jan 26, 1994, 12:43:35 PM1/26/94
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Merk (me...@sage.cc.purdue.edu) wrote:
: What about the Gravis Ultrasound vs. every other sound board war over on

: alt.ibm.pc.hardware.soundcard (or whatever its name is) ?
: It's probably been going on since the GUS was introduced.
What about c.s.a.a? =) (The whole thing)

zar...@cs1.bradley.edu Illinois has two seasons: Winter and Construction
___________ _______________________________________^___ Headlights?
___ ___ ||| ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ | __ ,----\ Credit Card?
| | | |||| | | | | | | | | | | | | |_____\ Why would I
|___| |___|||| |___| |___| |___| | O | O | | | | \ want to
||| |___|___| | |__| ) remember
___________|||______________________________|______________/ those?
||| WDW Monorail Driver Wannabe /------------------
-----------'''---------------------------------------' CJE--WDW in '95

Sri Palindrome.151

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Jan 26, 1994, 11:28:47 AM1/26/94
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John Todd West (todd...@raptor.sccs.swarthmore.edu) wrote:
: : >>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
How long is too long, though?

Ernst 'pooh' Mulder

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Jan 26, 1994, 2:44:27 AM1/26/94
to

In article <2i17vc$p...@constellation.ecn.uoknor.edu>,
deh...@hellcat.ecn.uoknor.edu (David Hall) writes:

>><forgot-who> wrote:
>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>
>Who knows, but I bet the current flame war concerning Vichael on alt.irc
>has got to be in the top five. It has been going on for WEEKS and has

WEEKS? This group currently has threads ('Ignorant user stories' for one)
that were also running a couple of years or so ago, when I first started to
read this group.

pooh

Raymond Chen

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Jan 25, 1994, 11:37:01 PM1/25/94
to
In article <16F431125...@ua1vm.ua.edu> JROB...@ua1vm.ua.edu (Jeff Robertson) writes:
>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?

I believe the winner is ``MAKE.MONEY.FAST''.

Andy Wardley

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Jan 26, 1994, 1:02:43 PM1/26/94
to
>::>>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?

>::>>>>>This one.
>::>>>>It does go on, doesn't it?
>::>>>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
>::>>Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too long...
>::>>take it to e-mail.
>::>And the thread grows longer by the day...
>:: How long is a piece of string?
>:If this keeps up much longer, it'll start to cascade, and then the string
>:will be as long as it takes to wrap up at least eight bored users.
>How long is too long, though?
Eight characters, if you ignore the terminating NULL.

A

Ernst 'pooh' Mulder

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Jan 26, 1994, 2:58:55 PM1/26/94
to

Liam Relihan wrote:
>Andy Wardley wrote:

>>ae...@minster.york.ac.uk wrote:
>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>>>Tom Salyers writes:
>>>>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder says:
>>>>>>Andy Wardley writes:
>>>>>>>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>>>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>>>>>>>This one.
>>>>>>It does go on, doesn't it?
>>>>>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
>>>>Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too
long...
>>>>take it to e-mail.
>>>And the thread grows longer by the day...
>>How long is a piece of string?
>Get a life or this stupid thread will outlive you
Super water absorbant thread bits? Anyone?

pooh 'knowingly posting to surely the silliest thread in the history of
USENET, oh what is the longest descriptive middle name ever encoutered on
USENET?'

Buddha Buck

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Jan 26, 1994, 5:54:05 PM1/26/94
to
In article <2i48bg$q...@cville-srv.wam.umd.edu>,

R S Rodgers <rsro...@wam.umd.edu> wrote:
>In article <2i26q0$7...@whale.st.usm.edu>,
>John William Chambless <cham...@whale.st.usm.edu> wrote:
>>>In fact, I would say closer to 70% but I don't like putting my neck out
>>>and so will only be quoted as saying 50% ;). All told, probably 5 to
>>>7 hundred messages in my estimate....
>
>
> So are we talking longest lasting, or most posts? My own
> creation, "Feminist Stupidity Disorder" has lasted for months
> (since August? Maybe September) in the alt.feminism/soc.men/soc.women
> groups where it is crossposted. In the beginning it created a
> small flood of postngs that made up ~50% of the postings to a.f.
> It's even kept on topic, as a matter of fact , so it's not just a
> subject title that stuck with postings.
>

I don't think that it matters if the subject title changes, since for
instance this thread has already changed subject title, but is still
the same thread. It's even changed topic (now we're discussing what
makes a long thread, not what is the longest thread).

I think it should count if it is a THREAD, not separate postings on the
same topic. This means that Make.Money.Fast wouldn't count, since it
usually isn't threaded (each initial posting counts as a new thread).

> Because of the ease of baiting, though, some groups (like af) ought
> to be excluded.
>

Nah, they are Usenet too (well, Altnet...).

>
>>Do the cyclical "september threads" count as continuous?

I wouldn't count them, unless they truely are continuous... Can you
trace one back to an earlier, or is it simply a new freshman starting
a new thread on the same topic?

>
>
> How about the ongoing, never ending "Is circumcision bad?"
> and "Make money fast!!" threads? Both of those are short in
> length, but huge in volume, and constantly recurring.
>

As above, I wouldn't count it...

David DeLaney

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Jan 26, 1994, 11:32:22 PM1/26/94
to
raym...@microsoft.com (Raymond Chen) writes:
>JROB...@ua1vm.ua.edu (Jeff Robertson) writes:
>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>
>I believe the winner is ``MAKE.MONEY.FAST''.

*Now* you've done it. It just showed up again (after extended absence from
any of the groups I read) on news.groups ...

Dave "stupid net tricks" DeLaney
--
David DeLaney: d...@utkux.utcc.utk.edu; ObQuote: `I suggest quoting 'J"K"P' and
'J"RR"P' both. --K' Disclaimer: Opinions? UTK?? Me??? BWAAAAHahahahaa <choke>
<snort> hee hee; Thinking about this disclaimer (or about theor. particle __
physics) may cause headaches. Vicki and Paul and Terry but not Joel. VR#: 0 \/

Jeremy Reimer

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Jan 27, 1994, 7:14:32 PM1/27/94
to
In <94012608...@brokendrum.stack.urc.tue.nl> Ernst 'pooh' Mulder <po...@brokendrum.stack.urc.tue.nl> writes:
>In article <2i17vc$p...@constellation.ecn.uoknor.edu>,
>deh...@hellcat.ecn.uoknor.edu (David Hall) writes:
>>><forgot-who> wrote:
>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>>
>>Who knows, but I bet the current flame war concerning Vichael on alt.irc
>>has got to be in the top five. It has been going on for WEEKS and has

>WEEKS? This group currently has threads ('Ignorant user stories' for one)
>that were also running a couple of years or so ago, when I first started to
>read this group.

Don't forget YNYBHTLW...

That thread has been going on for so long that people have been archiving
it for posterity.


--

Jeremy "OS/2ibo" Reimer
Founder and President, World Domination Inc.
(a division of Microsoft)

"Why do you want to go read news?"
"I want to see the frontier. Before it's gone."
- Kevin Costner, _Dances With Usenet_

Tom Watson

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Jan 28, 1994, 8:46:33 PM1/28/94
to
Am I missing something, or isn't Usenet the longest Usenet thread ever.
Still going after all this time. Its all the same subject, just the text
is changed from time to time, and flames repeated time and time
again.......
------
Tom Watson Not much simpler!!
t...@cypher.apple.com

Friedrich Fahnert

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Jan 28, 1994, 10:55:48 AM1/28/94
to
In article <94012620...@brokendrum.stack.urc.tue.nl>,

Ernst 'pooh' Mulder <po...@stack.urc.tue.nl> wrote:
>
>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>Andy Wardley wrote:
>>>ae...@minster.york.ac.uk wrote:
>>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>>>>Tom Salyers writes:
>>>>>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder says:
>>>>>>>Andy Wardley writes:
>>>>>>>>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>>>>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>>>>>>>>This one.
>>>>>>>It does go on, doesn't it?
>>>>>>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
>>>>>Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too
>long...
>>>>>take it to e-mail.
>>>>And the thread grows longer by the day...
>>>How long is a piece of string?
>>Get a life or this stupid thread will outlive you
>Super water absorbant thread bits? Anyone?
I like long threads, please don't let this one die...


Peter Knoerrich

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Jan 28, 1994, 11:16:09 AM1/28/94
to
fwfa...@w214zrz.zrz.TU-Berlin.DE (Friedrich Fahnert) writes:

We'll please everyone and make this a recursive thread (see Jeff Robertson).
---
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
NetHack: "Your sacrifice sprouts wings and a propeller and roars away."
Peter Knoerrich, email: prkn...@cip.informatik.uni-erlangen.de

Feldman / Mark Jeffrey (ISE)

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Jan 29, 1994, 1:55:43 AM1/29/94
to

This line of reply is one post longer than the other one, as seeing as I
would *love* to be part in the creation of the worlds longest thread I'll
place my bet by posting here.

Kip Crosby

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Jan 29, 1994, 11:18:35 AM1/29/94
to

In article <2ibdo...@uni-erlangen.de>, Peter Knoerrich (prkn...@cip.informatik.uni-erlangen.de) writes:
>fwfa...@w214zrz.zrz.TU-Berlin.DE (Friedrich Fahnert) writes:
>>In article <94012620...@brokendrum.stack.urc.tue.nl>,
>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder <po...@stack.urc.tue.nl> wrote:
>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>>>Andy Wardley wrote:
>>>>>ae...@minster.york.ac.uk wrote:
>>>>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>>>>>>Tom Salyers writes:
>>>>>>>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder says:
>>>>>>>>>Andy Wardley writes:
>>>>>>>>>>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>>>>>>>>>>This one.
>>>>>>>>>It does go on, doesn't it?
>>>>>>>>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
>>>>>>>Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too long...
>>>>>>>take it to e-mail.
>>>>>>And the thread grows longer by the day...
>>>>>How long is a piece of string?
>>>>Get a life or this stupid thread will outlive you
>>>Super water absorbant thread bits? Anyone?
>>I like long threads, please don't let this one die...
>We'll please everyone and make this a recursive thread (see Jeff Robertson).
Oh, _no!!_ It split!

Kip Crosby

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Jan 29, 1994, 11:17:33 AM1/29/94
to
Oh, okay, just my 0.02 to prove my newsreader works.

Daniel King

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Jan 28, 1994, 3:42:43 PM1/28/94
to
todd...@raptor.sccs.swarthmore.edu (John Todd West) writes:

>:>>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?

By longest, do you mean #replies or time it stuck around, like
the recurring MAKE MONEY FAST nightmares on misc.forsale...

Robert M. Zigweid

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Jan 29, 1994, 4:32:29 PM1/29/94
to
fwfa...@w214zrz.zrz.TU-Berlin.DE (Friedrich Fahnert) writes:

You call this long?

David K. Bryant

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Jan 30, 1994, 2:34:45 AM1/30/94
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fwfa...@w214zrz.zrz.TU-Berlin.DE (Friedrich Fahnert) writes:

sync sync sync - time for a sanity check

Jeff Robertson

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Jan 30, 1994, 2:58:01 AM1/30/94
to
In article <2ibdo...@uni-erlangen.de>

prkn...@cip.informatik.uni-erlangen.de (Peter Knoerrich) writes:

>
>fwfa...@w214zrz.zrz.TU-Berlin.DE (Friedrich Fahnert) writes:
>
>>In article <94012620...@brokendrum.stack.urc.tue.nl>,
>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder <po...@stack.urc.tue.nl> wrote:
>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>>>Andy Wardley wrote:
>>>>>ae...@minster.york.ac.uk wrote:
>>>>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>>>>>>Tom Salyers writes:
>>>>>>>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder says:
>>>>>>>>>Andy Wardley writes:
>>>>>>>>>>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>>>>>>>>>>This one.
>>>>>>>>>It does go on, doesn't it?
>>>>>>>>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
>>>>>>>Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too long...
>>>>>>>take it to e-mail.
>>>>>>And the thread grows longer by the day...
>>>>>How long is a piece of string?
>>>>Get a life or this stupid thread will outlive you
>>>Super water absorbant thread bits? Anyone?
>>I like long threads, please don't let this one die...
>We'll please everyone and make this a recursive thread (see Jeff Robertson).
You mean Jeff "longest USENET thread ever" Robertson

Dave Holland

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Jan 30, 1994, 9:33:39 AM1/30/94
to
If this thread carries on, it'll be long enought to darn my socks with...

Dave
--
[] Dave 'clocking in time' Holland []
[] Engineering Department, Cambridge University, UK []
[] 93d...@eng.cam.ac.uk []

Buddha Buck

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Jan 30, 1994, 6:18:26 PM1/30/94
to
David K. Bryant wrote:
>Friedrich Fahnert writes:

>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder wrote:
>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>>>Andy Wardley wrote:
>>>>>ae...@minster.york.ac.uk wrote:
>>>>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>>>>>>Tom Salyers writes:
>>>>>>>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder says:
>>>>>>>>>Andy Wardley writes:
>>>>>>>>>>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>>>>>>>>>>This one.
>>>>>>>>>It does go on, doesn't it?
>>>>>>>>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
>>>>>>>Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too long...
>>>>>>>take it to e-mail.
>>>>>>And the thread grows longer by the day...
>>>>>How long is a piece of string?
>>>>Get a life or this stupid thread will outlive you
>>>Super water absorbant thread bits? Anyone?
>>I like long threads, please don't let this one die...
>sync sync sync - time for a sanity check
Can someone just hack the references line to make this a circular thread?


Liz Wilding-White

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Jan 30, 1994, 10:48:11 PM1/30/94
to
>let's thread a needle and sew it up.


--
Elizabeth Wilding -White ~ Lizzie Bordon took an axe,
ewil...@falcon.depaul.edu ~ And plunged it deep into the VAX.
l...@fws.com ~ When she saw what she had done,
~ She turned and hacked apart the Sun.

Wilbur Kuo

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Jan 31, 1994, 2:17:59 PM1/31/94
to
In article <gunnarh.15...@dhhalden.no> gun...@dhhalden.no (WonderBoy) writes:
>Hmm.. This probably wouldn't count as a thread, but MAKE.MONEY.FAST has to
>be the most annoying thing ever.

Well, for annoyances localized to one group, I nominate "How to get the
Mortimer story" thread on alt.tv.tiny-toon? The poster, John Palmer, decided
one day to post that article every 5 *seconds* to the newsgroup... A friend
of mine logged in one day and had to kill over *1000* copies of that article.

As for widest distribution, I'd nominate the recent "Jesus is coming"
thread...

--
Wilbur Kuo | kuo...@sunset.bph.jhu.edu | "I only say what it
"It's good to be the root" | ro...@sunset.bph.jhu.edu | occurs to me to say.
| kuo...@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu | More I cannot say."
GS/CS/MU -d+@ p c++(++++) !l() u+(++) e+ m++ s n-(---) h f+ g+ w- t+() r- !y

David Doak

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Jan 31, 1994, 3:00:28 PM1/31/94
to

Andy Wardley writes:
|> Jeff Robertson writes:
|> >Peter Knoerrich writes:

|> >>Friedrich Fahnert writes:
|> >>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder <po...@stack.urc.tue.nl> wrote:
|> >>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
|> >>>>>Andy Wardley wrote:
|> >>>>>>ae...@minster.york.ac.uk wrote:
|> >>>>>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
|> >>>>>>>>Tom Salyers writes:
|> >>>>>>>>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder says:
|> >>>>>>>>>>Andy Wardley writes:
|> >>>>>>>>>>>Jeff Robertson writes:
|> >>>>>>>>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
|> >>>>>>>>>>>This one.
|> >>>>>>>>>>It does go on, doesn't it?
|> >>>>>>>>>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
|> >>>>>>>>Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too long...
|> >>>>>>>>take it to e-mail.
|> >>>>>>>And the thread grows longer by the day...
|> >>>>>>How long is a piece of string?
|> >>>>>Get a life or this stupid thread will outlive you
|> >>>>Super water absorbant thread bits? Anyone?
|> >>>I like long threads, please don't let this one die...
|> >>We'll please everyone and make this a recursive thread (see Jeff Robertson).
|> >You mean Jeff "longest USENET thread ever" Robertson
|>
|> If one examines the nature of a "thread",
<stuff deleted>, sorry had to happen.
|> re-formatting.
-it just grew

--
---------------------------------------------------------
David Doak CANCER: You will submit your thesis
do...@bioch.ox.ac.uk soon and get a real life.
---------------------------------------------------------

DoN. Nichols

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Jan 30, 1994, 9:20:45 PM1/30/94
to
Dick De(s)pew did better than this single-handed.

--
Email: <dnic...@d-and-d.com> | ...!uunet!ceilidh!dnichols
<dnic...@ceilidh.beartrack.com>
Donald Nichols (DoN.) | Voice (Days): (703) 704-2280 (Eves): (703) 938-4564
--- Black Holes are where God is dividing by zero ---

Tom 'moof' Spindler

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Jan 31, 1994, 7:12:01 PM1/31/94
to
Andy Wardley <a...@dsbc.icl.co.uk> wrote:
>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>Peter Knoerrich writes:
>>>Friedrich Fahnert writes:
>>>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder <po...@stack.urc.tue.nl> wrote:
>>>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>>>>>Andy Wardley wrote:
>>>>>>>ae...@minster.york.ac.uk wrote:
>>>>>>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>>>>>>>>Tom Salyers writes:
>>>>>>>>>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder says:
>>>>>>>>>>>Andy Wardley writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>>>>>>>>>>>>This one.
>>>>>>>>>>>It does go on, doesn't it?
>>>>>>>>>>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
>>>>>>>>>Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too long...
>>>>>>>>>take it to e-mail.
>>>>>>>>And the thread grows longer by the day...
>>>>>>>How long is a piece of string?
>>>>>>Get a life or this stupid thread will outlive you
>>>>>Super water absorbant thread bits? Anyone?
>>>>I like long threads, please don't let this one die...
>>>We'll please everyone and make this a recursive thread (see Jeff Robertson).
>>You mean Jeff "longest USENET thread ever" Robertson
>Andy "Drop Dead Thread" Wardley
No, _more_ thread, Ned!


WonderBoy

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Jan 31, 1994, 7:57:29 AM1/31/94
to

Hmm.. This probably wouldn't count as a thread, but MAKE.MONEY.FAST has to
be the most annoying thing ever.

gun...@dhhalden.no

-=::Peel a man that looks like an onion,
and I'll show you a man that looks like a peeled onion.

Spelling errors and bad grammar are centered intentionally.

Andy Wardley

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Jan 31, 1994, 9:08:40 AM1/31/94
to
Jeff Robertson writes:
>Peter Knoerrich writes:
>>Friedrich Fahnert writes:
>>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder <po...@stack.urc.tue.nl> wrote:
>>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>>>>Andy Wardley wrote:
>>>>>>ae...@minster.york.ac.uk wrote:
>>>>>>>Liam Relihan wrote:
>>>>>>>>Tom Salyers writes:
>>>>>>>>>Ernst 'pooh' Mulder says:
>>>>>>>>>>Andy Wardley writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>>>>>>>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>>>>>>>>>>>This one.
>>>>>>>>>>It does go on, doesn't it?
>>>>>>>>>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
>>>>>>>>Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too long...
>>>>>>>>take it to e-mail.
>>>>>>>And the thread grows longer by the day...
>>>>>>How long is a piece of string?
>>>>>Get a life or this stupid thread will outlive you
>>>>Super water absorbant thread bits? Anyone?
>>>I like long threads, please don't let this one die...
>>We'll please everyone and make this a recursive thread (see Jeff Robertson).
>You mean Jeff "longest USENET thread ever" Robertson

If one examines the nature of a "thread",
one sees that its constituent parts are
merely loosely related replies, and replies
to replies, to some initial question or
statement. In this case, the question was
posed by Jeff Robertson and was, the now
immortalised, "What's the longest thread in
the history of USENET?" One could argue,
if one was inclined to do so, that this
in itself was not the start of the thread
but was merely the question that prompted
the cascaded responses.

One could further demonstrate that if no-one
had bothered to respond to this question,
the single post would not have constituted
a thread and would have faded away into the
infinite obscurity of folklore anonymity.

This was not the case.

Extending this point further, it can be
argued that the point at which the thread
came into existence was when the first reply
was posted. This was the now equally
infamous "This one" reply by Andy Wardley
who demonstrated his characteristically
impressive insight and renowned sense of
humour in doing so. But then I would say
that because I am he.

What's more, is that this post has only
been generated in order to further extend
the lifetime (and size) of the thread to
greater increase its chance of being
remembered forever more as the "thread to
end all threads" and thus immortalise
both Jeff and myself. I have even been
thoughtful enough to keep the line length
short so that a great deal more follow-ups
can be posted before this text begins to
word-wrap and require some serious
re-formatting.


Andy "Drop Dead Thread" Wardley


: , , This Spot (Not Allowed) is in no way dedicated
Andy Wardley : -o o- to anyone called Derek, Dave or Terry, Lemurs,
a...@oasis.icl.co.uk : l Leader K*bo, Odd Physics, GIFs or eMOTTOicons.
std dsclmr avlbl : - This line still available - call 0800-SIGRENT.

Peter

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Feb 1, 1994, 2:32:57 AM2/1/94
to
fwfa...@w214zrz.zrz.TU-Berlin.DE (Friedrich Fahnert) writes:
: In article <94012620...@brokendrum.stack.urc.tue.nl>,
OK

:
:

Andrew Bulhak

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Feb 1, 1994, 10:19:02 AM2/1/94
to

To witness a very good contender for the longest thread:

1) Choose two of { Windows/NT, OS/2, Linux }

2) Assert that one is unquestionably superior to the other, and that
anybody who thinks otherwise has rocks in their head.

3) Crosspost to half a dozen newsgroups, including at least one
comp.os.*.advocacy group, alt.folklore.computers, alt.religion.kibology
(for good measure) and alt.fan.mike-dahmus, where all threads mentioning
OS/2 belong, and if they don't mention it, they will.

4) Don asbestos longjohns and observe. If you are lucky, you may get
followups in the hundreds, including several ideological ping-pong matches,
considerable name-calling, dazzlingly witty retorts such as "bite me",
and perhaps even the odd cascade or two.


Note that you do not have to follow these instructions to witness the
result; these threads will form spontaneously given time.

--
Andrew Bulhak a...@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au
Element: #121 (decimaalnummersysteemium)
--
PGP 2.3A key available by finger.

Dave Schaumann

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Feb 1, 1994, 6:30:16 PM2/1/94
to
In article <2ilrt6$p...@harbinger.cc.monash.edu.au>,

Andrew Bulhak <a...@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au> wrote:
>4) Don asbestos longjohns and observe. If you are lucky, you may get
>followups in the hundreds, including several ideological ping-pong matches,
>considerable name-calling, dazzlingly witty retorts such as "bite me",
>and perhaps even the odd cascade or two.

This suggests an interesting metaphor: posting flame-bait is like
shooting high-energy particles into a cloud chamber, creating hundreds
of new particles in the process, all flying off in their own direction.
Results are generally predictable, and to get something new, you have to
try higher and higher energy insertions.

Personally, I think someone definitely needs to find out if delphi is
running a giant bogon accelerator. It would certainly go a long way

Joseph W. Vigneau

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Feb 1, 1994, 11:16:49 PM2/1/94
to
Of course it does! Don't feel like a jerk.


--
Joseph W. Vigneau <jo...@wpi.edu> -- WPI Computer Science Linux!
Your lucky color has faded.

Vincent Partington

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Feb 2, 1994, 4:20:31 AM2/2/94
to
t...@cypher.apple.com (Tom Watson) writes:

>Am I missing something, or isn't Usenet the longest Usenet thread ever.
>Still going after all this time. Its all the same subject, just the text
>is changed from time to time, and flames repeated time and time
>again.......

Hmm, this message just gave me an interesting idea;
Why not add an extra field to the header? We could that "Real-Subject:" and that
would contain the actual subject of the message. If we did that we could
use the "Subject:"-field for our purposes (namely, to make the longest thread
ever) be always setting that to "longest USENET thread ever", thereby
making one long thread.
We would have to change the news-readers to show us the Real-Subject but it
shouldn't throw away the Subject-field because that would be cheating. :)
Someone here also pointed out that we have a problem with the References-field
getting rather long, but we could always install the references on one ftp-site
and have new references added by the news-readers when someone posts something.

Unfortunately, I have very little time to actually implement this but anyone
can feel free to copy my idea and use it.

Vincent.
--
BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA Internet : part...@fwi.uva.nl
BLABLA 68040 Power! ABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA vin...@tnc.nl
BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA FidoNet : 2:281/202.15
BLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLABLA NeST : 90:500/202.15

Vincent Partington

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Feb 2, 1994, 4:23:54 AM2/2/94
to
93d...@eng.cam.ac.uk (Dave Holland) writes:

How can we get out?

Euh, I'm sorry, but I have to repeat that sentence twenty times because our
local dumb-ass nntp-server bounced my previous posting with this message:
--->
Article not posted -- more included text than new text/usr/local/etc/inews faile
d
--->

How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?
How can we get out?

Chip Gore

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Feb 2, 1994, 8:59:07 AM2/2/94
to Feldman / Mark Jeffrey (ISE)

|>: >>>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?

|>: >>>>>This one.
|>: >>>>It does go on, doesn't it?
|>: >>>He's makin' it up as he goes along!!! =)
|>: >>Goddamit...I'm tired of this thread...its been going on far too long...
|>: >>take it to e-mail.
|>: >And the thread grows longer by the day...
|>: How long is a piece of string?
|>If this keeps up much longer, it'll start to cascade, and then the string
|>will be as long as it takes to wrap up at least eight bored users.
|This line of reply is one post longer than the other one, as seeing as I
|would *love* to be part in the creation of the worlds longest thread I'll
|place my bet by posting here.

And That was the best you could do?

David DeLaney

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Feb 8, 1994, 6:11:12 PM2/8/94
to
regn...@imladris.frmug.fr.net (Philippe Regnauld) writes:
>deh...@hellcat.ecn.uoknor.edu (David Hall) writes:
>
>>a...@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Andy Wardley) writes:

>
>>>Jeff Robertson writes:
>>>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>
>>Who knows, but I bet the current flame war concerning Vichael on alt.irc
>>has got to be in the top five. It has been going on for WEEKS and has
>
> What about Jordan in rec.arts.sf.written ?
> Loooooooong *AND* boring.

Only for those who haven't read the books.

Dave "walls of books" DeLaney
--
David DeLaney: d...@utkux.utcc.utk.edu; ObQuote: `VISUALIZE BLONDE MELINDA' - T.
Pierce... Disclaimer: Opinions? UTK?? Me??? BWAAAAHahahahaa <choke> <snort> hee
hee; Thinking about this disclaimer (or about theoretical particle physics) __
may cause headaches. Vicki and Paul and Terry but not Barbara or Joel. VR#:1 \/

Feldman / Mark Jeffrey (ISE)

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Feb 8, 1994, 7:01:55 PM2/8/94
to
alain....@astro.estec.esa.nl writes:
>Gosh, don't you think this makes a pretty pattern?
Sure! But watch as the cascade gets longer or someone types in 2 lines!

Mark

Travis Corcoran

unread,
Feb 9, 1994, 1:00:50 PM2/9/94
to

In article <2j65qo$m...@imladris.frmug.fr.net> regn...@imladris.frmug.fr.net (Philippe Regnauld) writes:

> deh...@hellcat.ecn.uoknor.edu (David Hall) writes:


>
> >a...@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Andy Wardley) writes:
>
> >>Jeff Robertson writes:
> >>>What's the longest thread in the history of USENET ?
>

> >Who knows, but I bet the current flame war concerning Vichael on alt.irc
> >has got to be in the top five. It has been going on for WEEKS and has
>
> What about Jordan in rec.arts.sf.written ?
>
> Loooooooong *AND* boring.

I put [Jj]ordan in my kill file, and was happy for a while. Until I
saw how long the killing took. Then I proposed r.a.sf.w.j for my own
selfish reasons. It hasn't taken off.

--
__
TJIC (Travis J.I. Corcoran) TJ...@icd.teradyne.com
opinions(TJIC) != opinions(employer(TJIC))

"Buy a rifle, encrypt your data, and wait for the Revolution!"

ae...@minster.york.ac.uk

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Feb 11, 1994, 2:30:27 PM2/11/94
to
In article <1994Feb9.0...@csc.canberra.edu.au>,
I am making the cascade longer.
And I am typing in two lines.


TJJT

unread,
Feb 12, 1994, 8:07:00 PM2/12/94
to
In article <7609950...@minster.york.ac.uk>
ae...@minster.york.ac.uk writes:

What can I add to this wonderful thread? (Besides another line)

o'donnell lisa lynn

unread,
Feb 13, 1994, 12:21:12 AM2/13/94
to
TJJT wrote:
: ae...@minster.york.ac.uk writes:

: > Feldman / Mark Jeffrey (ISE) wrote:
: > >alain....@astro.estec.esa.nl writes:
: > >>> Kip Crosby writes:
: > >>>> Friedrich Fahnert writes:
Your heart. Your soul. Your strength. And a tin of spork.

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lisa O'Donnell (a werewolf) | "Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
odon...@ac.wfunet.wfu.edu | "I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kip Crosby

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Feb 13, 1994, 12:10:25 PM2/13/94
to
so says Ms. Heart and Soul herself....

Mark Alan Lang

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Feb 13, 1994, 1:05:47 PM2/13/94
to
Don't you mean that most wonderful food of the gods, SPAM?


----------------------------------
| Mark Lang | elis...@cmu.edu |
----------------------------------

Peter Wemm

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Feb 13, 1994, 9:55:48 PM2/13/94
to
Hey! I've always wanted to take part in a cascade! :-)
--
Peter Wemm <pe...@DIALix.oz.au> - NIC Handle: PW65 - The keeper of "NN"
"My computer is better than your computer" - Anonymous
(Overheard, shortly after the creation of the second computer....)

James R Ebright

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Feb 13, 1994, 10:08:13 PM2/13/94
to

I hope you nuts are having fun :)

Getting back to the original thread....

I haven't been reading it because it sounds boring, but, clearly,
the most reoccuring thread is "...imminent death of Internet predicted" :)

...my death should be so imminent!

--
A/~~\A 'moo2u from osu' Jim Ebright e-mail: jr...@osu.edu
((0 0))_______ "Education ought to foster the wish for truth,
\ / the \ not the conviction that some particular creed
(--)\ OSU | is the truth." -- Bertrand Russell

Dianne Hackborn

unread,
Feb 14, 1994, 12:06:36 AM2/14/94
to
In the near past, jebr...@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu (James R Ebright) spoke thusly:

| I haven't been reading it because it sounds boring, but, clearly,
| the most reoccuring thread is "...imminent death of Internet predicted" :)
|
| ...my death should be so imminent!
...my reply should be so imminent!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dianne Kyra Hackborn "It would be easier to pay off the national debt
hac...@xanth.cs.orst.edu overnight than to neutralize the long-range
BIX: dhack / IRC: Dianne effects of OUR NATIONAL STUPIDITY."
Oregon State University -- Frank Zappa

Jeff Robertson

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Feb 14, 1994, 7:28:23 PM2/14/94
to
o'donnell lisa lynn (odon...@ac.wfu.edu) wrote:
Is this the thread that breaks the camel's back ?
Or is the Net more like a squid than a camel ?
Every thread is like another tentacle.

Jeff Robertson <jrob...@ua1ix.ua.edu>, <jrob...@ua1vm.ua.edu>
GCS/MU/O -d+ -p+ c++ u@ e+ m* s+/-- n--- h-- f@ g@ w+ t++ y-(*)
-----
A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAQUIRI!!

Ernst 'pooh' Mulder

unread,
Feb 15, 1994, 5:23:37 PM2/15/94
to
Mark Alan Lang wrote:
>>>>>>> Oh, _no!!_ It split!
>>>>>> Gosh, don't you think this makes a pretty pattern?
>>>>> Sure! But watch as the cascade gets longer or someone types in 2 lines!
>>>> I am making the cascade longer.
>>>> And I am typing in two lines.
>>> What can I add to this wonderful thread? (Besides another line)
>> Your heart. Your soul. Your strength. And a tin of spork.
> Don't you mean that most wonderful food of the gods, SPAM?
Bugger, that was to be _my_ next line! SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM NI!

pooh
----
/* internet: po...@stack.urc.tue.nl * snail mail: Hoogstraat 214 *
* po...@es.ele.tue.nl * 5615 PX Eindhoven *
* telephone: +31 40-572314 (home) * the Netherlands *
* +31 40-446969 (work) */

David DeLaney

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Feb 16, 1994, 1:07:33 AM2/16/94
to
Detweiler? Is that you?

Dave "looking around nervously" DeLaney


--
David DeLaney: d...@utkux.utcc.utk.edu; ObQuote: `VISUALIZE BLONDE MELINDA' - T.

Pierce... Disclaimer: Opinions? Hmpf; Thinking about this disclaimer (or about
theoretical particle physics) may cause headaches. Not particularly up for __
being elected Kibo, thanks. ASCII Wiener with Vicki virus: ,lgooVRoog' VR#:1\/

Erik Dasque

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Feb 16, 1994, 6:10:05 AM2/16/94
to
In article <1994Feb16....@martha.utcc.utk.edu>
Does anybody speak French in the room ?

Ed.
--
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
-Benjamin Franklin
--
Erik Dasque "The French Guy" e...@joker.fdn.org
" Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. " - Groucho Marx

Tom Madigan

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Feb 17, 1994, 10:49:01 PM2/17/94
to

No, it's not -- it *is*, however, the Land Shark.

@@@@@@@ Tom Madigan @@@@@@@
::: The University of Maryland :::
::: College Park, Maryland :::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
: Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats too noble to neglect :
::: Deceived me into thinking I had something to protect; :::
: Good and bad: I defined these terms, quite clear, no doubt, somehow :
::: Ah, but I was so much older then; IÕm younger than that now. :::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

David K. Bryant

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Feb 18, 1994, 1:55:01 AM2/18/94
to
No, it's just the longest cascade in net history.


Liam Relihan

unread,
Feb 18, 1994, 4:39:30 AM2/18/94
to
What is this stuff about squids and camels' backs ? ....reminds me of a
Spinal Tap song for its use of metaphors and wierd tacks.

Liam "He'll never make a poet" Relihan

---
Liam Relihan, Voice: +353-61-333644 ext.5015
CSIS, Schumann Building, - - Fax: +353-61-330876
University Of Limerick, E-mail: reli...@ul.ie
Ireland. http://itdsrv1.ul.ie/PERSONNEL/lrelihan.html


David DeLaney

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Feb 18, 1994, 5:48:52 AM2/18/94
to
AIEEEEEEE!!!

Dave "candygram?" DeLaney
--
David DeLaney: d...@utkux.utcc.utk.edu; PAGINATION IS THE ESSENCE THE REST IS
FONTS ( KIBO ) Disclaimer: Opinions? Ackpft! Thinking about this disclaimer (or
about theoretical particle physics) may cause headaches. Not really up for __
being elected Kibo, thanks. ASCII Wiener with Vicki virus: ,lgooVRoog' JF#:1\/

Dianne Hackborn

unread,
Feb 18, 1994, 2:59:50 PM2/18/94
to
In the near past, dbr...@netcom.com (David K. Bryant) spoke thusly:
Don't force me to repost the Song Lyrics From Hell cascade...

-------------------------------------------------------
Dianne Kyra Hackborn "The real question is:
hac...@xanth.cs.orst.edu Is it possible to laugh
BIX: dhack / IRC: Dianne while fucking?"

Alan Stange

unread,
Feb 18, 1994, 4:47:40 PM2/18/94
to

What is spork? Or don't I really want to know? Is it like sbeef?

-- Alan

Cameron James Inglis

unread,
Feb 18, 1994, 4:49:48 PM2/18/94
to
No-one expects the Spanish Inquision

-----
Cameron Inglis ADVICE TO THIRD PARTIES:
che...@caledonia.hw.ac.uk Nothing contained in this
che...@clust.hw.ac.uk message affects your right
cin...@cix.clink.co.uk as a third party to make a
----- claim.

DACOD

unread,
Feb 18, 1994, 10:21:38 PM2/18/94
to
In article <CLFwn...@cee.hw.ac.uk>,
Our chief weapons are - black pudding? Ecky-thoomp!

--
: DACOD (dy...@aber.ac.uk) : "This particularly rapid, unintelligible patter :
: College of Librarianship : Isn't generally heard, and if it is it :=====:
: UCW, Aberystwyth. : doesn't matter." : VRn :
: Stand clear of the doors : - W.S. Gilbert, "Ruddigore" Act II :=====:

o'donnell lisa lynn

unread,
Feb 18, 1994, 11:44:57 PM2/18/94
to
Alan Stange wrote:
It's a close cousin of spam. You really don't want to know any more than
that.

lisa

Christer Palm

unread,
Feb 19, 1994, 7:53:23 AM2/19/94
to
/Christer

"Do not look into laser beam with remaining eye."

Bart Peters

unread,
Feb 19, 1994, 11:38:00 AM2/19/94
to
>>: TJJT wrote:
>>: : ae...@minster.york.ac.uk writes:
>>: : > Feldman / Mark Jeffrey (ISE) wrote:
>>: : > >alain....@astro.estec.esa.nl writes:
>>: : > >>> Kip Crosby writes:
>>: : > >>>> Friedrich Fahnert writes:
>>: : > >>>>> Ernst 'pooh' Mulder wrote:
>>: : > >>>>>> Liam Relihan wrote:
>>: : > >>>>>>> Andy Wardley wrote:
Blablablablablabla.....
Are there really any people out there who still think this hilariously funny
and original? It's been fun for a while, but let's stop it now, please. It's
particularly annoying as I found the same kind of shit in atj:

In article <hniNjq9V...@nki.no>, mobe...@nki.no (Rune Moberg) writes:
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>> > >>>>>>>>>>> this is a test
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>> > >>>>>>>>>> I think I'll go West!
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>> > >>>>>>>>> So I can Molest!
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>> > >>>>>>>> Give it a rest!
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>> > >>>>>>> People who continue cascades are such pests.
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>> > >>>>>> No, we're just riding the crest...
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>> > >>>>>So we to can molest the best chest in the west!
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>> > >>>> You guys are so cool I'm Impressed!
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>> > >>>of course, it's how we are dressed.
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>> > >>>What happens if someone fucks up the rhyme?
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>> > >Don't worry it happens all the time.
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>> > Yeah, It's not a crime!
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>> At least not in daytime!
|> > |> >>>|> : >>>or else you turn into a slime
|> > |> >>>|> : >>Yeah! That stinking, smelly toe-grime.
|> > |> >>>|> : >so what happens if you do, are you forced to by a dime?
|> > |> >>>|> : This last remark sucks big time!
|> > |> >>>|> You mob are bloody childish with this rhyme stuff!!
|> > |> >>>Did you come up with that off the cuff?
|> > |> >>Naw, just flame him before he leaves in a huff!!
|> > |> >Will you guys quit it! Enough is enough!!!!!
|> > |> Don't you think that is kinda rough ?
|> > Not after you've killed a bear in the buff !
|> Haven't you tried CD-Player Pro? That's tough...
>Never! But ... why do you sound so gruff ?

I really hope this newsgroup is not turning into a bunch of threads of people
joing in on in-jokes like:

'foo.'
Huhuhuhu
'bar.'
Hehehehe
'foo-bar!'
bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha!!!

Meanwhile, here is a little story about how WP5.1 came about:

MediocreWriter, from:
JOES GARAGE INC.
500 Bituminous Ave.
Sleazonia, Ont. 3N7 N5S

1/2-sided, sloppy-sectored, 5 3/8 inch droopy disk. 39 cents.


As you might expect from this program's name and price, it's a
bare-bones, no-frills word processor package. What does 'bare bones'
mean? For one thing, you don't get multiple screens - in fact, you get
no screens at all. Joe, the program's writer, claims that in about six
months an update (19 cents) will be available that'll give the program
video-display capabilities. In the meantime, you'll simply have to
remember what you key in.

Another upgrade will enable you to type upper-case characters and
numbers greater than seven. But don't let these seemingly negative
comments dissuade you from buying the program. In reality, the 39 cent
price makes it good value for the money. You can for, example, use the
disk as a coaster for large beer mugs.

What are the program's good points? It contains a 3-word spelling
correction program called (predictably) MediocreSpeller. If you
misspell the words A, AND, or THE, it causes your computer to shut off
and locks the disk drive head on track 42.

MediocreWriter's documentation is in keeping with the program's other
annoying features. It consists of a barely legible mimeographed sheet
with the following insruction's on it:

* Turn computer on
* Insert disk
* Use program

The program is not copy protected.

Explains Joe: 'Who would want to copy it?' And it takes little memory
space: 323 bytes. It's available for the Lemming/dos operating system
for use on Joe's PC (available from Joe for $9.95).


ASST. SYSOP'S COMMENTS:

In short, MediocreWriter is Joe's latest attempt to write software that
works. It doesn't pretend to be anything other than what it is: the
sleeziest, most limited, bug-ridden word-processing program that exists.

Joe admits, 'it stinks.' In addition to its lack of a video-display
capability, it has a tendency to set computers on fire and trigger
nearby automatic washing machines. It handles 21 lower-case alphabetic
characters and numbers from one to six; punctuation is limited to the
exclamation point.

The program is interactive with Joe's other two packages: Lousycalc, a
1-column, 1-row spreadsheet; and RottenFiler, a database-management
program that accepts one entry. In short, I like it!

DETAILS: List price, 39 cents. Available only for Lemming/DOS on Joe's
PC ($9.95); configured to drive Joe's Smudge-Matrix Printer.
($14.95).

JOE'S GARAGE INC.
500 Bitumious Ave.
Sleazonia, Ont. 3N7 N5S
Phone 911


Bart 'not to mention the Imminent-death-of-Usenet thread' Peters

The Mad Kobold ( Doug Norris )

unread,
Feb 19, 1994, 8:01:08 PM2/19/94
to

Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, a ruthless
efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms -
DAMN! I'll come in again!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Douglas Todd Norris (n914...@henson.cc.wwu.edu) "The Mad Kobold"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"We need to make safer guns, we need to make safer bullets."
-Sgn. General Jocelyn Elders

Jeff Robertson

unread,
Feb 19, 1994, 10:27:15 PM2/19/94
to
Cameron James Inglis (che...@bdgd4c7.caledonia.hw.ac.uk) wrote:

Invisible threads crackle with life.

GCS/MU/O -d+ -p+ c++ u+ e+ m* s+/-- n--- h-- f@ g@ w+ t++ y-(*)
-----
If I felt any more SOPHISTICATED I would DIE of EMBARRASSMENT!

Magnus Axelsson

unread,
Feb 20, 1994, 11:29:12 AM2/20/94
to
This thread is not very long. Just a bit long.

---------------------------------_
Magnus Axelsson \ __ __
Student at Linkoping University !2Lin$ ___|[]|
Institute of Technology, Sweden #@%Phon,*@.\__|______| .sig under
E-mail: d92m...@und.ida.liu.se @"$6{l&^@!%!_/-(o_o_o_o) destruction!!

.

Anthony Finch (PFUE)

unread,
Feb 21, 1994, 7:44:50 AM2/21/94
to
o'donnell lisa lynn wrote:
> Alan Stange wrote:
I thought it was a runcible spoon (like the owl and the pussycat), or maybe a foon.

Yoram Grahame

unread,
Feb 21, 1994, 3:08:03 PM2/21/94
to
So what's a runcible spoon then?

Tom Madigan

unread,
Feb 21, 1994, 11:27:48 PM2/21/94
to
In article <1994Feb21.2...@ucl.ac.uk>
zca...@ucl.ac.uk (Yoram Grahame) writes:

A runcible spoon is kind of like a runcible knife, except that it
doesn't have a blade and can be hung from your nose if you get it
juuuust right.

Stig Sæther Bakken

unread,
Feb 22, 1994, 2:26:04 AM2/22/94
to
Yoram Grahame writes:
Hey! What happened to the nice pattern?!
--
Snailmail: Stig Sæther Bakken, Østmarkvn. 28A, N-7040 Trondheim, Norway
Email: Stig....@pvv.unit.no, Xpilot/IRC: Euphoriac, MUDs: Auronthas
<A HREF="http://www.pvv.unit.no/~ssb/meg.html">My WWW page</A>
GCS d@ -p+ c++(++++) l+ u+ e* m++(-) s++/- n--- h-- f+(++) g+(-) w+ t- r y+

David Edwards

unread,
Feb 22, 1994, 9:56:48 AM2/22/94
to
Erik Dasque (e...@joker.fdn.org) wrote:
: In article <1994Feb16....@martha.utcc.utk.edu>
Not me... But hey! I just had to add my name to the list :)
==============================================================================
David Edwards | Student of Linux, Mechanical Engineering,
U of Mo - Rolla | And the Force.
d...@umr.edu ====== Not the views of the U. of Mo. at Rolla, just my own...====

Dupre Christophe

unread,
Feb 22, 1994, 10:54:09 PM2/22/94
to
David Edwards (d...@saucer.cc.umr.edu) wrote:
Yep, I speak french! (Yet another message in the thread)

--

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Christophe Dupre Universite de Montreal
Internet: dup...@jsp.umontreal.ca Qc, Canada
Fidonet: 1:167/216
1755 Lajoie,
Outremont, Qc FAX: (514) 735-0247
CANADA
H2V 1S1
---
#include <disclaimer.h>

Anthony Finch (PFUE)

unread,
Feb 23, 1994, 4:33:56 AM2/23/94
to
The same as a foon or a spork. Not unrelated to a knork or a fife. Cutlery.

Ernst 'pooh' Mulder

unread,
Feb 24, 1994, 4:22:39 PM2/24/94
to

ObSubjectDrift (it's about time too):
>MediocreWriter, from:
[...funny old-timer deleted...]

This reminds me of a file about a wordprocessor (rings any bells?) where I
read the phrase "you're rapidly running out of 'e's, why don't you try the
'k' instead?". Where does that come from?

I think pseudo-realistic programms like for instance 'Painter' should be
able to run out of ink, so that you'd have to buy a ink-upgrade every once
in a while!

pooh
----
/* internet: po...@stack.urc.tue.nl * i'd rather be with you than fly *
* po...@es.ele.tue.nl * _ ____ tru space *
* phone: +31 40-572314 (home) * /( ) _ \ *
* +31 40-446969 (work) * / // /\` \, ||--||--||- *
* s-mail: Hoogstraat 214 * \| |/ \| ||--||--||- *
* 5615 PX Eindhoven * ~^~^~^~~^~~~^~~^^~^^^^^^^^^^^^ *

Don Baldwin

unread,
Feb 24, 1994, 8:28:10 PM2/24/94
to
Serdar Argic didn't say:
Armenian atrocities reported in Turkish fraternity. News at 11.

john d.

unread,
Feb 26, 1994, 3:45:05 PM2/26/94
to
Don Baldwin (do...@igor.tamri.com) wrote:
: Serdar Argic didn't say:
Armenian sorority bimbos laughed!
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
John Dobbs / The biological son of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs and "Connie" \
\ and sole heir to all of their wealth. /

Brian McGroarty

unread,
Feb 27, 1994, 12:27:47 PM2/27/94
to
>> Hi, Magnus! Remember when you told us about "longest USENET thread ever"?

>che...@bdgd4c7.caledonia.hw.ac.uk (Cameron James Inglis) writes:
>>d...@martha.utcc.utk.edu (Dave "candygram?" DeLaney) writes:
>>>tmad...@wam.umd.edu (Tom Madigan) writes:
>>>>d...@martha.utcc.utk.edu (David DeLaney) writes:
>>>>> jrob...@ua1ix.ua.edu (Jeff Robertson) writes:
>>>>> >Is this the thread that breaks the camel's back ?
>>>>> >Or is the Net more like a squid than a camel ?
>>>>> >Every thread is like another tentacle.
>>>>> Detweiler? Is that you?
>>>>No, it's not -- it *is*, however, the Land Shark.
>>>AIEEEEEEE!!!
>>No-one expects the Spanish Inquision
>Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, a
ruthless
>efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms
-
>DAMN! I'll come in again!
MA> This thread is not very long. Just a bit long.
Oops - hit the wrong key. I'd say it's a little long...

... Ink and paint make an Idea become a life...

Luc 'Lil Spike' Holland

unread,
Feb 27, 1994, 3:05:27 PM2/27/94
to
Anthony Finch (PFUE) (fa...@inmos.co.uk) wrote:
Wow, that is a long thread...Anyone got a needle?

Andrew Lawson

unread,
Feb 28, 1994, 11:56:18 AM2/28/94
to
Wonderful

Cameron James Inglis

unread,
Feb 28, 1994, 4:55:54 PM2/28/94
to

In article <CLy1p...@festival.ed.ac.uk>, p93...@cplab.ph.ed.ac.uk
What's so wonderful about that?

Dungeon Master

unread,
Feb 28, 1994, 10:10:01 PM2/28/94
to

Life is a clam.

--
* * * * * * * The power to destroy a planet is insignificant * * * * * *
* * * * * * * compared to the power of the Force. * * * * * *
*****************************************************************************
The Dungeon Master has his lair at: ap0...@uhura.cc.rochester.edu

Erik Dasque

unread,
Mar 1, 1994, 12:28:03 PM3/1/94
to
In article <1994Mar1.0...@galileo.cc.rochester.edu>
Burp. Oups, sorry. I speak French. Is there is a doctor in the thread ?

Ed.
---
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word
itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words -
"mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and
that's why so is mankind.
--Deep thoughts by Jack Handey
--
Erik Dasque "The French Guy" e...@joker.fdn.org
GC/O d-(++) p(+) c++ l(!) u+(++) e+(*) m+(---) s+/+ n+ h- f++ g- w+ t+ r y+(*)

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