New College Folklore on the hoof
Pieter D. Breitner
Received this day from a friend who subscribes to way too many humor
mailing lists, something which I am sure will become a classic of
Xeroxlore (R). I have emailed the list owner asking to be put in contact
with the contributor. I wonder if we can track this one to the source....
>Date: Wed, 21 Aug 1996 22:31:25 -0400
>To: humou...@synapse.net
>From: "Steven A. Willoughby" <ora...@synapse.net>
>Subject: HUM: MIT letters (**1/2) [CLASSIC]
>Sender: owner-hu...@synapse.net
>
>The first letter is one MIT sends out, The second is one they got back.
>
>**********************
>
>April 18, 1994
>
>Mr. John T. Mongan
>123 Main Street
>Smalltown, California 94123-4567
>
>Dear John:
>
>You've got the grades. You've certainly got the PSAT scores. And
>now you've got a letter from MIT. Maybe you're surprised. Most
>students would be.
>
>But you're not most students. And that's exactly why I urge you to
>consider carefully one of the most selective universities in America.
>
>The level of potential reflected in your performance is a powerful
>indicator that you might well be an excellent candidate for MIT. It
>certainly got my attention!
>
>Engineering's not for you? No problem. It may surprise you to learn
>we offer more than 40 major fields of study, from architecture to
>brain and cognitive sciences, from economics (perhaps the best
>program in the country) to writing.
>
>What? Of course, you don't want to be bored. Who does? Life here
>*is* tough *and* demanding, but it's also *fun*. MIT students are
>imaginative and creative - inside and outside the classroom.
>
>You're interested in athletics? Great! MIT has more varsity teams -
>39 - than almost any other university, and a tremendous intramural
>program so everybody can participate.
>
>You think we're too expensive? Don't be too sure. We've got
>surprises for you there, too.
>
>Why not send the enclosed Information Request to find out more about
>this unique institution? Why not do it right now?
>
>Sincerely,
>
>Michael C. Benhke Director of Admissions
>
>P.S. If you'd like a copy of a fun-filled, fact-filled brochure,
> "Insight," just check the appropriate box on the form.
>
> ************************************************************************
>
>May 5, 1994
>
>Michael C. Behnke
>MIT Director of Admissions
>Office of Admissions, Room 3-108
>Cambridge MA 02139-4307
>
>Dear Michael:
>
>You've got the reputation. You've certainly got the pomposity. And
>now you've got a letter from John Mongan. Maybe you're surprised.
>Most universities would be.
>
>But you're not most universities. And that's exactly why I urge you
>to carefully consider one of the most selective students in America,
>so selective that he will choose only *one* of the thousands of
>accredited universities in the country.
>
>The level of pomposity and lack of tact reflected in your letter is
>a powerful indicator that your august institution might well be a
>possibility for John Mongan's future education. It certainly got
>my attention!
>
>Don't want Bio-Chem students? No problem. It may surprise you to
>learn that my interests cover over 400 fields of study, from semantics
>to limnology, from object-oriented programming (perhaps one of the
>youngest professionals in the country) to classical piano.
>
>What? Of course you don't want egotistical jerks. Who does? I *am*
>self indulgent *and* over confident, but I'm also amusing. John Mongan
>is funny and amusing - whether you're laughing with him or at him.
>
>You're interested in athletes? Great! John Mongan has played more
>sports - 47 - than almost any other student, including oddball
>favorites such as Orienteering.
>
>You think I can pay for your school? Don't be too sure. I've got
>surprises for you there, too.
>
>Why not send a guaranteed admission and full scholarship to increase
>your chance of being selected by John Mongan? Why not do it right now?
>
>Sincerely,
>
>John Mongan
>
>P.S. If you'd like a copy of a fun-filled, fact-filled brochure,
> "John Mongan: What a Guy!" just ask.
>
>
> Submitted by: Brendan Everett @ clark.net
>
> \\|//
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>Copyright Information:
>-------------------------
>Steven Willoughby is not the author of this piece, and does not claim
>to own any copyright privileges to the piece. The work has been
>submitted to him as an item for the humor mailing list, and he has
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--
Pieter
---
I know that Chinese langage got many different name for rice. I think
that it makes sense to think that a people who got many to treat a
substance would have many name for it, especially if it is for a
long time. -Guy Charron-
Pieter D. Breitner
In article <pieterb-2208...@news.idt.net>,
pie...@gramercy.ios.com (Pieter D. Breitner) wrote:
> Received this day from a friend who subscribes to way too many humor
> mailing lists, something which I am sure will become a classic of
> Xeroxlore (R). I have emailed the list owner asking to be put in contact
> with the contributor. I wonder if we can track this one to the source....
[Snip the MIT letter and Mr. Mongan's response]
Well, while surfing the net I ran across another posting of the MIT letter
and response, and it was credited to the source, Mr. John Mongan himeslf.
I wrote him and have received this response:
I received the MIT letter from Mr. Benhke about a year and a half ago.
I wrote and mailed the reply you saw about a week after I received
it. Last December, I posted the exchange to rec.humor.funny. It's been
circulating in e-mail forwards ever since, I guess. I've got a web page
about it at http://www-leland.stanford.edu/~john that includes the
position paper that Mr. Benhke wrote about the issue.
Let me know if you have any further questions,
John
So I went to Mr. Mongan's web page, and here is MIT's official response:
> The Giant Speaks: MIT responds
>
> Since my letter was published in rec.humor.funny, a number of people
have written
> to me asking whether MIT ever responded. Many, many months after I mailed the
> original letter, the answer is finally yes. MIT didn't seem to see it
fit to respond to the
> postal version of my letter, but apparently it's created enough of a
stir on the Net that
> Admissions Director Behnke decided a reply was in order. Note that this
response
> was not mailed to me (nor does it deign to refer to me by name;
preferring a rather
> anonymous "the student"), I have it only because it was forwarded to me by Ien
> Cheng to whom I am eternally grateful.
>
> Thus, I am now pleased to present, without further (unnecessary)
commentary, the
> uncut, unedited work of Mr. Michael C. Behnke:
>
>
> Two Cheers, Maybe Two and a Half
>
> People have been getting a chuckle (aside from some MIT folks who have been
> getting fits) over an exchange posted on the WEB between MIT and a prospective
> student. The student, apparently, has the exchange on his WEB page, and it has
> spread from there. I'd like to give the student two cheers for a pretty
good parody of
> our letter. In case you haven't seen the exchange, I'm adding it below.
(I'm sending
> this message to those who inquire and who obviously have seen the
exchange, but
> this message may be forwarded to others who haven't seen it.)
>
> Our letter looks rather foolish to some taken out of context. The reason
I'm only
> giving the student two cheers is that I don't know if he recognized our
letter as a
> parody. Our tongue was planted firmly in our cheek with that letter.
We've been
> trying to reflect in our publications and mailings some of the quirky
humor at MIT.
> Since I came to MIT about ten years ago, I've admired the way people
here poke fun
> at themselves. Witness the "Nerd Pride" buttons and hats, the strange
cheers at
> football games, the "Nerd Crossing" sign, and various other "hacks."
We've tried to
> inject some of that humor into our communications with students.
>
> Some may not know why we mailed our letter. Most colleges participate in the
> Student Search Service. We buy names of high school students who have scored
> well on the PSAT and who have high grades. Colleges then mail these students
> letters and brochures to encourage them to look into the college in
question. Top
> students can get ten of these a day. We thought that in this context,
students would
> recognize our letter as being a bit of a parody of other letters.
>
> The purpose of the letter was to get students' attention and provoke a
dialogue
> through which students would learn more about MIT. In fact, the letter
was very
> successful. The percentage of students asking for more information about
MIT went
> up dramatically, and we ultimately enrolled one of the strongest classes
in our
> history. Many students told us that the letter helped to dispel the
image of MIT as a
> humorless, pompous, off-putting place. In spite of the fact that the
response rate to
> this letter was the highest we have ever had, we have since switched to a more
> straightforward version which is getting almost as strong a response. We
switched
> because we were concerned (justifiably, it turns out) about how the letter
> would look taken out of context.
>
> If the student did recognize our letter as a parody, I give him two and
half cheers. I
> won't give him three cheers, because if he did recognize it as a parody,
it was sort of
> mean spirited to take it out of context and make us look foolish. But
one could argue
> that we were doing a parody of other colleges' letters, so it serves us
right. "Hoist
> with one's own petard." (Yes, we have a Shakespeare ensemble at MIT, and
being in
> admissions, I can't let a message go out without a little promotion.)
--
Pieter
---
I have never gotten the cat drunk. I am against giving animals alcohol,
and against blowing smoke at them. However, what he does on his own time
is his own business. -"Noreen"-
Michele Liguori
pie...@gramercy.ios.com (Pieter D. Breitner) wrote:
>Received this day from a friend who subscribes to way too many humor
>mailing lists, something which I am sure will become a classic of
>Xeroxlore (R). I have emailed the list owner asking to be put in contact
>with the contributor. I wonder if we can track this one to the source....
--
"Not everything in life has a clue in front of it...."
-- J. Michael Straczynski
Michele Liguori
r...@tankgirl.ultranet.com (Michele Liguori) wrote:
>pie...@gramercy.ios.com (Pieter D. Breitner) wrote:
>
>>Received this day from a friend who subscribes to way too many humor
>>mailing lists, something which I am sure will become a classic of
>>Xeroxlore (R). I have emailed the list owner asking to be put in contact
>>with the contributor. I wonder if we can track this one to the source....
I hate premature interjection. Sorry, folks. I was trying to follow
this one up with my cow orker who used to be involved with MIT
"recruiting". I checked with her, then didn't bother writing in the
response, since someone had already posted an authoritative
follow-up. We now return you to your regularly scheduled Urban
Legends newsg(f)roup...
mea culpa,
Michele L.