The alt.flame Who's Who

Avoid normal situations.

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Jun 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/3/96

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The alt.flame Who's Who - A user's guide to the flora, fauna, and
fuckheada of alt.flame. Copyright 1995(c) Castle Anthrax Productions.
All rights reserved. All factual errors at least gotten wrong with
feeling ((tm) Stephen Edwin King, 1985). Last updated 2/17/96.

Submissions welcome but not necessarily used. Credit will be given to
anyone whose material is used, but will be made anonymous should the
submitter so desire.

This is a biased report. ((tm) Harlan Ellison)

-> Barbara Abernathy - aka Blabbernathy, Boobs Abbernappy, Blabberbutt
Jabberwocky, etc. Creature of legend. Unparalled in posting volume,
obscenity content, and sheer dementia; verily, her flameworks occupy a
subgenre of one. Would flame anyone, anywhere, over anything, and thus
burned herself to a cinder; finally met her timely demise at the hands
of alt.music.nirvana. Widely romanced by various menfolk in spite of
all this... but, then, so would Mother Teresa on *this* group.

-> alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk - "What a pathetic bunch of
driftwood these prozac-popping net.knobs are. Perhaps *the* shortest
war in *the* history of *the* Usenet. To summarize, we went and stated
something along the lines of: All right kids, saddle up and move out
because we are officially claiming this swamp as alt.flame territory.
The response was an unequivocally unified 'Take it! It's yours!'
"As Sun-tzu said 'The true art of war is to subdue the enemy without
fighting.' Well Sun, what if the enemy is subdued and doesn't want to
fight? What the hell is someone supposed to do when the opposing army
collectively throws like a girl and cries to mama? Keep the tanks
rolling I suppose." -- Joel A. Sutherland

-> alt.bigfoot - The less said of them, the better. A loose collective
of moose-poetry-writing newsgroup-invading chuckleheads, each of whom
has, in that arena of iniquitous absurdity, fulfilled his lifelong
dream... finally finding a pond small enough in which he can be a big
frog. They are perhaps best described as the Usenet equivalent of the
Blue Meanies in the movie _The Yellow Submarine_, only less menacing.

-> alt.nuke.the.USA - A group of nitwits and halfwits who specialize in
nationality flames, a genre of flaming which was old when Usenet was
still netnews.*. Besides the obvious quality control problems, there's
something very wrong when a group of people dedicate themselves to a
force that has been screwing up life for all human beings since Day One
-- nationalism. Pathetic. Regulars can usually be found posting such
time-honored (to put it nicely) ripostes as "We saved your booties in
WW2" and "Americans are a bunch of sods", and talking about how vawstly
superiah they are to alt.flame.

-> alt.peeves - Only known newsgroup with which alt.flame has gone to
war that honestly held its own (in no small way because everyone on
a.f. except for Marek, Dave Williams, and myself ran in the other
direction when they showed they could put a noun and a verb together
worth a damn). Higher standards of literacy than a.f., but too normal
to be as much fun. The unquestioned Elite of the Net... except for the
577,948 other clubs and cliques who also consider themselves the Elite
of the Net. Individually and collectively, they bear an uncomfortably
close resemblance to the deads in Robert Silverberg's short story
"Born with the Dead"... not to mention the "elite" in Roberta Lannes's
short story "I Walk Alone".

-> Bait, Flame - The second kind of denizen of alt.flame (the first, of
course, being "flamer"). As Andrew "Ducksworth" Hart put it:

...alt.flame is loaded to the gills with senseless tackling
dummies who think it's the greatest sort of compliment when you pay
any attention to them at all, whether you best them or not. They
eat it up.

Flamers and Flame Bait. It's a symbiotic relationship.

Most such folks are good practice for up and coming flamers (most of
whom wind up being flame bait themselves). There are a precious few,
however, (Michele Dall'Agata and Jeff Witty, f'r instance) who make a
tremendous contribution to the wit quotient of this forum... not
because they can write to save their miserable lives, of course, but
because they so cry out to be made fun of that they inspire truly
hilarious parodies. As such, however indirectly, one can be flame bait
and still be of great value; indeed, Messrs. Dall'Agata and Witty may
be considered true masters of the form (R.I.P). (Obvious pun deleted
in the interest of good taste.)

-> BARD aka Gary Landers - "Ann Landers is more entertaining." -- Joel
A. Sutherland.

-> Brothers, Paul N. aka PNB - "Is very infrequently funny, but does
show some definite signs of net.life. Has good ideas, but poor execution
sometimes. Most of his posts leave me with the feeling that he could
have been funny if. Enjoys verbally abusing Kevin Hebert." -- Anonymous

-> Cat Mandoo, aka Mark Rowland - Won the 1994 Wittiest Flamer alt.flame
award. "Mr Mandoo tends to destroy egos. If you get a GFY, raise the
white flag and bail faster than you can say Jack Robinson. Do not ever
intimate that the Internet is analogous to long distance telephoning.
Needless to say, the overt compliments this gentleman receives
concerning his originality and tact are praise enough." -- Joel A.
Sutherland.

-> Clayton, David Andrew aka Dac - Announced, at the height of the
infamous "fuckhead" thread in summer 1993, that alt.flame had gone to
the dogs, and that he was leaving for good... and announced it... and
announced it... and announced it. Came back at least once a month for
ages with verbose, leaden postings that all boiled down to "You all
suck", to scattered cries of "SPANK!!!" from one and all. Finally
admitted a few months ago that he wasn't getting the attention from us
that he felt he deserved, and hasn't been back since. One of the many
ex-flamers who's quite unmissed.

-> Colburn, Michael P. - aka Comfortably Numb, Holeburn, Comfy. One of
the alt.flame old guard. Was voted Flamer of the Year in 1994. "Very
infrequently posts funny material. Had some decent efforts against
Dave Williams. He is also a steath [sic] flamer." -- Anonymous

-> Curtis, George aka Pinhead - "Is sometimes funny, most of the time
whiny. Used to know how to flame without vulgarities. Has quickly
forgot. Enjoys verbally abusing Kevin Hebert." -- Anonymous

-> Dall'Agata, Michele - "Extreme bitch/sex fixation. Has a mean
sister." -- Par Svensson. An exceedingly clue-deprived Italian oldbie.
Allowed to post to alt.flame once in a while by other veterans largely
as a keepsake.

-> Ekran, Paal Ditlefsen - aka The Last Viking, The Large Vomit.
"Newbie supreme from Norway." -- Par Svensson. Joined alt.bigfoot in
the hopes of appearing less lame by comparison. It didn't work.

-> Hannigan, Martin J. - One of the most balls-to-the-wall obnoxious
people ever to post alt.flame. Keeps getting kicked off his various
accounts (in fact, he's probably the alt.flamer who's lost more accounts
that anyone else)... but also keeps coming back to bother us, not
unlike a case of herpes. ((tm) Mike Colburn) "Er.. Umm.. Well people
say he's funny. I just find him vulgar. Puts on too many pompous aires.
Relies on past feats too much. has a good one every now and then (less
often than naught)." -- Anonymous

-> Hart, Andrew B. aka Naql, Mr. Duck - "Sometimes funny sometimes dry
as hell. His major contribution is spanking most if not all the A.S.T
off the net." -- Anonymous

-> Haushalter, Robert C. - "Claims to be a scientist, but mostly seems
obsessed with human excrements. Believes in the theory that says 'the
more old messages you include, the larger is the possibility of people
believing you've written something worthwhile'." -- Par Svensson. Also
a bit touchy about getting kicked off IRC channels.

"Aka, Blob, Blobby, Boob, Booby, Blub, Blubber, Hogsniffer, Horseshelter,
Ha-halter, the Shapeless One, Mr. Sensitivity:
"Boob first wandered into alt.flame from alt.cesium, quickly latched
onto a patented Naqlism, 'Euroscum', and made it his own trademark.
Befriended by Naql and under his protection, Blob flourished and
became a devoted disciple of Naql's Holy Order of the Pure Flame.
His promising flame career came to an end when, seduced by the Dark Side,
Blub left Naql's monastery high in the Andes mountains (and before
he could even snatch the pebble from my hand, I might add) and made
his way to the big city. There he fell in with unsavory elements and
now ekes out an existence as a fawning lap dawg begging for table
scraps from TSAKC Crime Boss, lil' Jimmy 'the Weasel' Keegan." -- Andrew
"Naql" Hart.

-> Hausmann, John aka Need A Light?, Goin' Nova - "What is amazingly
consistent about Hausmann is how newbies reply to his posts with the
'Not So Bright/Need a Life' intro and think that they are the first
ones to come up with it." -- Joel A. Sutherland. "Seeing as he doesn't
use the 'Need a Light?' tag anymore, the 'Need-a-life?' is a little
outdated. Rest assured that if you are reading this for the first
time, (and in some (read: 99.9%) cases third) you'd fall into the
'Not-so-bright' trap. Literally." -- Ibid. "Net.nemesis of bigfoot and
Keegan, Hausmann is witty and to the point in his posts. Seems to
enjoy cascading." -- Chris Viens.

-> Hebert, Kevin M. - One of the many folks around here who's convinced
that he's some sort of badass despite being regularly thrashed. One sad
bloke. "Trashed. By everybody." -- Chris Viens.

-> Karnes, Daniel J. - "Patron saint of homophobics. Sort of a cross
between Keegan and Abernathy. Known for cross-posting flame-bait to
motss groups. Approached it as his own personal crusade to eradicate
`sexual deviants' from the net. Lost his wife and net access in the
process." -- Mark Vieselmeyer.

-> Kickaha. Real name Chris Viens. "Somehow thinks that by submitting
enough entries to the Who's Who someone will eventually notice him.
Good luck goofball." -- Joel A. Sutherland

-> Keegan, James G. - Frequent, unwelcome guest from talk.abortion.
Front runner in the competition for the heavily contested "alt.flame
Broken Record" title. Also a fuckhead, but don't tell him so or he'll
report you to your system administrator. Recently elected to the
Council of Net.Idiots (whatever the hell that is).

-> Koput, James - aka Fester the Rat, Locust Abortion Technician, and
a host of other nicks. "Just plain sucks. About the most amusement
you'll get out of Koput consists of trying to figure out what drug he
was one when he selected his new nickname." -- Chris Viens.

-> Lloyd, Don, "Dense haemorrhoid." -- Joel A. Sutherland. "Claim to
fame, if he has to have one, is that he wrote a loose parody of
McCrotchlick's FAQ and thus gave every other freakin' newbie bovine
inspiration to write a FAQ of their own. Now if only Don could run
off a cliff... What else has he done? Flonked if I know." -- Ibid.
"A very petty flamer. Often magically attributes words or phrases
to people that never said them in the first place; the flaming
equivalent of a monkey trying to rollerblade." -- Chris Viens.

-> Lund, Christopher Henrik - Stultifyingly boring Norwegian (a likely
redundancy). The original creator of The alt.flame Who's Who... which
he e-mailed me per my request, and which I looked at for all of about
15 seconds before junking and rewriting from scratch.

-> Myrvang, Per Harald - Goes to the same school in Norway to which
Paal Ditlefsen Ekkhhead goes, debuted at the same time, and got spanked
at about the same time. The two of them posted JPEGs of themselves to
convince us all that they're separate entities, and they may even be
telling the truth... but who cares? The Tweedledum to Paal's
Tweedledee; like him, perpetually posted crap, and lots of it.

-> Newbies, Clueless - Everyone who's been posting for less than three
months... and half the others. The most vital resource of alt.flame,
despite poor reputation; after all, imagine an oldbie-only moderated
flame group...

Blob: Fuck you, you racist bigot!
Carmelo: No, fuck *you*, Hassholeter!
ying: How about those Blue Jays, eh?
Keegan: you forged this article, didn't you? chuckle
Darcy: I did not!
Keegan: did
Darcy: Didn't!
Keegan: did
Darcy: Didn't!
Stain: Oh, Wendy! *sigh*
Wendy: Oh, Pookie! *smewch*
Dave Williams: 'Ere, stop that!
Stain: Fuckhead.
PNB: Fuckhead.
Dobbs: Fuckhead.
PNB: Fuckhead.
'73 Chevy Pickup: [ slaps Willy in the head ] Now you've done it!
Stain: Fuckhead.
Dobbs: Fuckhead.
Stain: Lutefisk.

Horrifying, isn't it? Only through more newbies will this group avoid
paralysis... if only via having fresh targets.

-> Nolley, Terry - aka Repo Man, Nolley-willy, Section Eight. Served in
the American armed forces, and is evidently one of our nation's servicemen
upon whom some really, ehm, interesting chemical/biological warfare agent
was tested. Spends a great deal of time and bandwidth raving about Drew
Barrymore, the virtues of airborne units, Drew Barrymore, killing moose,
Drew Barrymore, alt.religion.monica, and -- especially -- Drew Barrymore.
There is logic in posting this sort of stuff to alt.flame; after all,
Ms. Barrymore was the star of the movie _Firestarter_. Given all the
press the Internet has gotten, and given that celebrities are confessing
here and there to using its services (Christian Slater, Malcolm McDowell,
God knows who else), one hopes that Nolley never finds Drew's node; one
is unsure who would be caused more grief by such contact.

-> Pordon, Steve aka Legion, Lesion, Spordex, Schroedinger'sexperiment,
Legos - "Sometimes funny (more like seldom). Doesn't initiate new posts
too often. He is a reactive flamer." -- Anonymous. Publishes his own
electronic magazine, _Entropy_, in which he demonstrates he can't write
SF either.

-> Schreiber, Wendy - aka Miss Windy Udders, The Lethal Cleavage Bandit.
Initially traded flames with yours truly at her debut in the summer of
'94... then converted me to Pookiedom shortly thereafter. This has long
been a controversial action, but *sigh* how could I resist? How could I,
a mere man, possibly refrain from the charms of such a limitless fount
of sweetness and light and joy? [ frolicking and bouquet-picking deleted ]
Helen of Troy had nothing on this lady. Indeed, the very sight of her
is enough to make most males' balls drop off.

-> The Stainless Steel Moviegoer - aka Jack Maxfield, Pookie, Stain,
Avoid normal situations. Yours truly. Apprentice hacker and three-year
-plus veteran of alt.flame. Official "weenie" according to the increasingly
unavailable (heh, heh) alt.bigfoot FAQ. Did I mention that I dig the
flicks?

"Aka, Stoneless, Strapless, Squealy, Brainless, Jerk Minyield, Obloid
abnormal deformations, He Who Brays Like a Mindless Ass, Mr. Annoying, etc.
"The Stainless Steel Rectal Thermometer first arrived in alt.flame about
two years ago on a rail, covered with tar and feathers, when he was
driven forth from alt.tasteless.jokes. Taken into the alt.flame Mother
of Mercy Hospital with third degree burns covering most of his plush
posterior, Strain repaid the readers of alt.flame by contributing his
services as a clay pigeon and devising much of the insipid tripe
that still waters a.f. down to this day. See also Fuckhead Cascades,
Giggling Grabass Goofiness, and Annoying One-Line Non-Sequiturs." -- Andrew
"Naql" Hart.

Rebuttal: Actually, I was quite well liked on a.t.j. I got flamed
a lot for posting intensely bad puns, but since I was getting so bright
a spotlight, I issued a CFV on whether I should continue posting my
usual material there... which I won. 'Twas there that I acquired a
taste for flaming... and the rest, as they say, is history.

"Mistakes brevity for biting wit. Real name Jack Maxfield, has been
around a while and general likes referencing movie quotes. Is generally
not funny and is prone to net copping. (so say the bigfooters)."
-- Anonymous.

-> Sutherland, Joel A. - aka Gin & Tonic. "Undoubtedly the biggest
fuck-up since the Challenger did a header into the Atlantic. Does
show occasional wit, usually concurrent with a full lunar eclipse
over North America. Tends to suffer from Postitis Interruptus, the
inability to finish what he starts." -- Don Lloyd. "Has had some good
showings against Ian, and even spanked John Vermin Orpe completely off
the net. Shows signs of life, although he really tries too hard."
-- Chris Viens.

-> Thomas, Ian - aka Goober. "Just a good-old, down-home, aw-shucks sort
of guy. Flame him and you've got a friend for life -- whether you want
it or not. Immune to or -- more likely -- oblivious of insults, his
good-natured replies are lighter than his Aunt Edith's souffles.
Occasionally sneaks in an amusing one-liner or an actual insult, but
this may only be a manifestation of that million monkeys thing. Do not
ask him about his mother or any of those nasty sheep rumors." -- Don
Lloyd. Joined alt.angst in its assault on rec.org.mensa in February
1996, therefore making him one of Bob Haushalter's few competitors for
the alt.flame Inferiority Complex of the Year Award.

-> Walsh, Kevin - "Funny as hell. Posts kind of infrequently but always
(okay nearly always) comes up with a winner." -- Anonymous

-> Williams, Dave aka Willy, Swilliams - "He's the stealth flamer.
Sometimes (more often than naught) he is genuinely funny. He runs
circles around pseudointellectuals, but falls into the vulgar trap
to easily. He did good work waxing off Brian 'I wish I was Babs'
Aitkens and appropriately net copped on alt.bigfoot." -- Anonymous

-> ying - aka Marek, Bubbles. Real name Mark Brownell. Took up
chemistry to *snicker* "expand his mind". Also a produced playwright,
though I can't imagine why. Thinks of himself as some sort of
ladykiller, for which he should be forced to listen to Richard
Hell and the Voidoids' "Love Comes In Spurts" about 500 times
without a break.

"Aka, Ying the Yellow, Mawk Brownosell, Easy Mark, Mr. Bunny, and the
Dirty, Double-Dealing, Bet-Welcher, who plagiarized the hell of me, got
caught, and lied about it.
"Mark made his debut during the "Mark Infestation of '93" as one of the
three Amigos: Mark, Mark, and Mark. Now known as "Ying" in order to
circumvent the many killfiles in which he is recorded, Ying is a
deceptively amiable, glad-handing, backstabber. Don't trust him.
See also: Flambe' Lite." -- Andrew "Naql" Hart.

-> Zanca, Paul J. - Out of the goodness of his heart, Mr. Zanca decided
to write his own evaluation: "I am an opinionated asshole, and you can
quote me on that, you pathetic thing cast aside by diseased dung beetle.
Fuck you." I for one have no inclination to argue with the man.

-> Zeke - "The infamous double poster always commits the perfect crime.
Not only does he tie his victim's stomachs in knots with the actual post,
but he kicks you on your way down with his .sig. And everyone knows about
the golden rule of .sig flaming..." -- Joel A. Sutherland.

--
alt.flame Special Forces
"One thing I don't understand is that average American movie-goers cannot
watch a movie for three hours, yet they'll watch a stupid, boring,
horrific football game for four hours. Now, that is boredom at its most
colossal." -- Quentin Tarantino
[begin civil-disobedience portion of .sig]
Now that President Clinton has signed the Communications Decency Act into
law, it may be illegal to use the words shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock-
sucker, motherfucker, and tits in one's net.writings. Ergo, every effort
has been made to avoid the use of the words shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock-
sucker, motherfucker, and tits in this posting.

Suzanna Valory

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Jun 3, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/3/96

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Well, ANS: This is not supposed to be flamiong, but can you
tell me what is the purpose of this Who's Who.

I've been lurking in this group a LONG time, and I've never heard of
these persons:

BARD
Clayton, David
Hart, Andrew
Karnes, Daniel
Kickaha
Myrvang, Per Harald
Ian Thomas
Nolley, Terry aka Repo Man
Screiber, Wendy
Zeke

etc, etc...

Are the entries in Who's Who your _friends_ or what?

Is there some other list available (including real Alt.flame Who's who)?

--
Suzanna

Avoid normal situations.

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Jun 4, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/4/96

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Suzanna Valory (suz...@suburbia.net) wrote:

: Well, ANS: This is not supposed to be flamiong,

As if you have a choice.

: but can you

: tell me what is the purpose of this Who's Who.

To provide the group with a Who's Who that's at least spelled correctly.
One of the minitrends around here of late is for every Tom, Clive, and
Bagge to post his own version of the FAQ and/or Who's Who, and I became
very tired of all the amateur-nightism...

: I've been lurking in this group a LONG time, and I've never heard of
: these persons:

: BARD
: Clayton, David
: Hart, Andrew
: Karnes, Daniel
: Kickaha
: Myrvang, Per Harald
: Ian Thomas
: Nolley, Terry aka Repo Man
: Screiber, Wendy
: Zeke

: etc, etc...

Define "LONG".

: Are the entries in Who's Who your _friends_ or what?

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

: Is there some other list available (including real Alt.flame Who's who)?

Throw a net.brick and you shall probably hit one. Wotan just reposted his
FAQ, and Bubbles will probably mosey along with his version any day now...

Wotan

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Jun 4, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/4/96

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In article <83384466...@suburbia.net>,
Suzanna Valory <suz...@suburbia.net> wrote:
>Well, ANS: This is not supposed to be flamiong, but can you

>tell me what is the purpose of this Who's Who.
>

>I've been lurking in this group a LONG time, and I've never heard of
>these persons:
>
>BARD
>Clayton, David
>Hart, Andrew
>Karnes, Daniel
>Kickaha
>Myrvang, Per Harald
>Ian Thomas
>Nolley, Terry aka Repo Man
>Screiber, Wendy
>Zeke
>
>etc, etc...
>

>Are the entries in Who's Who your _friends_ or what?

These are the people that have either never flamed jack - or are actually
worse posters than Jack is. jack's Who's Who is notable more for its
lack of completeness than its accuracy.

>Is there some other list available (including real Alt.flame Who's who)?

Yes. its called Stains Killfile.

--
Her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest
in a yak.
-- Woody Allen

Kickaha

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Jun 4, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/4/96

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On 3 Jun 1996, Suzanna Valory wrote:

> I've been lurking in this group a LONG time, and I've never heard of
> these persons:
>
> BARD

Shame. You and Barf would have gotten along just fine.

> Kickaha

What can I say? I keep a low profile and get plenty of attention in
real-time, so I really don't have to shout and scream and what-not here.

I actually get sick of having to explain it to the hordes of
attention-deprived fools that reside herein. Naturally I don't expect
you to understand.

[snip]

> Is there some other list available (including real Alt.flame Who's who)?
>

Yeah, but they won't put you in theirs either, so drop it.

John Hausmann

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Jun 4, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/4/96

to

Suzanna Valory (suz...@suburbia.net) wrote:
: Well, ANS: This is not supposed to be flamiong, but can you
: tell me what is the purpose of this Who's Who.

: I've been lurking in this group a LONG time, and I've never heard of
: these persons:

: BARD
: Clayton, David

: Hart, Andrew
: Karnes, Daniel
: Kickaha
: Myrvang, Per Harald
: Ian Thomas
: Nolley, Terry aka Repo Man
: Screiber, Wendy
: Zeke

: etc, etc...

: Are the entries in Who's Who your _friends_ or what?

: Is there some other list available (including real Alt.flame Who's who)?

You just haven't been here long enough. No go on back to lurking.

Lee Jackson Beauregard

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Jun 5, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/5/96

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suz...@suburbia.net (Suzanna Valory) wrote:

>Well, ANS: This is not supposed to be flamiong, but can you
>tell me what is the purpose of this Who's Who.

>I've been lurking in this group a LONG time, and I've never heard of
>these persons:

>BARD

Probably alt.flame's most unmissed spankee, except maybe for James "Lowest
Aborted Technician" Krapout....

>Kickaha

Posts here now and again....

>Myrvang, Per Harald

Norweenies don't count.

>Ian Thomas

Posts here now and again....

>Screiber, Wendy

AKA "Lethal Cleavage Bandit". She's the one who calls Stain "Pookie". Hasn't
been seen here in months, and Stain's unwilling to face the fact that she isn't
coming back.

>Is there some other list available (including real Alt.flame Who's who)?

Why don't you make one up yourself, if you've been lurking here as long as you
say?

+--------------- L e e J a c k s o n B e a u r e g a r d -----+---------+
| Opinions expressed here are mine and not those of SmartNet or | Fuck |
| AltNet. And if you don't agree with them, you are racist, | Senator |
| sexist, elitist, imperialist, Baptist, and possibly even right. | Exout |
+--------------------- r c h a s o n @ s m a r t . n e t ---------+---------+

"Is that name [Lee Jackson Beauregard] real?"
- Mark Addinall in <4hu7sv$4...@grissom.powerup.com.au>

"Sheep are reserved for Kiwis, kangaroos? Yeah I fuck 'em."
- Mark Addinall in <4j8f5t$m...@grissom.powerup.com.au>

Wotan

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Jun 5, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/5/96

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In article <4p399j$m...@tofu.alt.net>,

Lee Jackson Beauregard <rch...@smart.net> wrote:

>Why don't you make one up yourself, if you've been lurking here as long as you
>say?

Here is a current list of posters - and an indicator of how badly they
need a life. BTW, what brought Naql back?

There are 2739 posts in alt.flame.

--
Q: How do you tell if an Elephant has been making love in your
backyard?
A: If all your trashcan liners are missing ...

John Hausmann

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Jun 5, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/5/96

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Wotan (wo...@netcom.com) wrote:
: In article <4p399j$m...@tofu.alt.net>,

: Lee Jackson Beauregard <rch...@smart.net> wrote:

: >Why don't you make one up yourself, if you've been lurking here as long as you
: >say?

: Here is a current list of posters - and an indicator of how badly they
: need a life. BTW, what brought Naql back?

<yawn> Why thanks, Bill. Now how many of my posts are cross-posted from
talk.abortion *or* alt.snivvelfoot?

: There are 2739 posts in alt.flame.

Head Librarian

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Jun 6, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/6/96

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Wotan (wo...@netcom.com) wrote:
: In article <4p399j$m...@tofu.alt.net>,

: Lee Jackson Beauregard <rch...@smart.net> wrote:

: >Why don't you make one up yourself, if you've been lurking here as long as you
: >say?

: Here is a current list of posters - and an indicator of how badly they
: need a life. BTW, what brought Naql back?

: There are 2739 posts in alt.flame.

: Total From
: ===== ========
: 145 rch...@smart.net

[...]

Is Rchason on welfare? Doesn't he have anything better to do with his
life than post 24 hours/day his uninspired crap to alt.flame?

Why don't you fuck your wife, for a change?

--
Sun dogs fire on the horizon
Meteor rain stars across the night
This moment may be brief
But it can be so bright

Twister

unread,

Jun 6, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/6/96

to

suz...@suburbia.net (Suzanna Valory) wrote:

>Well, ANS: This is not supposed to be flamiong, but can you
>tell me what is the purpose of this Who's Who.

>I've been lurking in this group a LONG time, and I've never heard of
>these persons:

A week being a LONG time to most newbies.

>BARD
>Clayton, David
>Hart, Andrew
>Karnes, Daniel
>Kickaha
>Myrvang, Per Harald
>Ian Thomas
>Nolley, Terry aka Repo Man
>Screiber, Wendy
>Zeke

Three of these people have posted in the last week.
Four more have posted within the last year.

Can't vouch for the rest but you obviously need to STFU
and lurk much LONGER.

>etc, etc...

>Are the entries in Who's Who your _friends_ or what?

You obviously do not understand this flaming thing very well.
Besides, Jack has no friends.

>Is there some other list available (including real Alt.flame Who's who)?

All lists are irrelevant. Now read the FAQ and get lost as instructed.

--
dll...@inc.net (Don Lloyd)

Wotan

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Jun 6, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/6/96

to

In article <hausmannD...@netcom.com>,

John Hausmann <haus...@netcom.com> wrote:
>Wotan (wo...@netcom.com) wrote:
>: In article <4p399j$m...@tofu.alt.net>,
>: Lee Jackson Beauregard <rch...@smart.net> wrote:
>
>: >Why don't you make one up yourself, if you've been lurking here as long as you
>: >say?
>
>: Here is a current list of posters - and an indicator of how badly they
>: need a life. BTW, what brought Naql back?
>
><yawn> Why thanks, Bill. Now how many of my posts are cross-posted from
>talk.abortion *or* alt.snivvelfoot?

Beats the hell out of me.

Although it would be easy to modify the script to find out how many
fuckhead posts you are making every 10 days.

--
A pretty young maiden from France
Decided she'd "just take a chance."
She let herself go
For an hour or so
And now all her sisters are aunts.

Kevin Walsh

unread,

Jun 6, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/6/96

to

In article <hausmannD...@netcom.com> haus...@netcom.com (John Hausmann) writes:

> Wotan (wo...@netcom.com) wrote:
> > Here is a current list of posters - and an indicator of how badly they
> > need a life. BTW, what brought Naql back?
> >
> <yawn> Why thanks, Bill. Now how many of my posts are cross-posted from
> talk.abortion *or* alt.snivvelfoot?
>

I think you'll find it difficult to determine from which
newsgroup any particular article originated, so your request
to have it listed as part of a stats post is clearly the mark
of a newbie. I suggest that, if this information is important
to you, you keep a note each time you post.

If the statistics could identify the articles which originated
from talk.abortion or alt.snivvelfoot, it would help with that
Wotan character's stated quest, which was to identify the posters
who need a life.

--
_/ _/ _/_/_/_/ _/ _/ _/_/_/ _/ _/
_/_/_/ _/_/ _/ _/ _/ _/_/ _/ Professor Kevin Walsh
_/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/ _/_/ ke...@cursor.demon.co.uk
_/ _/ _/_/_/_/ _/ _/_/_/ _/ _/

Kevin Walsh

unread,

Jun 6, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/6/96

to

In article <wotanDs...@netcom.com> wo...@netcom.com (Wotan) writes:
> In article <4p399j$m...@tofu.alt.net>,

> Here is a current list of posters - and an indicator of how badly they
> need a life. BTW, what brought Naql back?
>
> There are 2739 posts in alt.flame.
>
> Total From
> ===== ========
>

> ...

>
> 2 "Gerard M. Hengst" <hen...@euronet.nl>
> 2 "Christopher. Armstrong" <Christophe...@durham.ac.uk>
> 2
> 2
> 1 zxm...@hp10.zdv.uni-tuebingen.de
> 1 zo...@autobaun.com
>

> ...
>
Bwaaaaaaaaahahahaha! You obviously licensed your statistics
technology off the Australians. The bit where the addresses
are missing is clearly a trademark of the Dacman.

Wotan

unread,

Jun 7, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/7/96

to

In article <DsLCz...@cursor.demon.co.uk>,

Kevin Walsh <ke...@cursor.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <wotanDs...@netcom.com> wo...@netcom.com (Wotan) writes:
>> In article <4p399j$m...@tofu.alt.net>,

>> Here is a current list of posters - and an indicator of how badly they
>> need a life. BTW, what brought Naql back?
>>
>> There are 2739 posts in alt.flame.
>>
>> Total From
>> ===== ========
>>

>> ...

>>
>> 2 "Gerard M. Hengst" <hen...@euronet.nl>
>> 2 "Christopher. Armstrong" <Christophe...@durham.ac.uk>
>> 2
>> 2
>> 1 zxm...@hp10.zdv.uni-tuebingen.de
>> 1 zo...@autobaun.com
>>

>> ...
>>
>Bwaaaaaaaaahahahaha! You obviously licensed your statistics
>technology off the Australians. The bit where the addresses
>are missing is clearly a trademark of the Dacman.

Unlike DAC, mine was pure sh programming. And is probably more
accurate in its count. These twits must use a non-standard from line -
or bizzarrely altered one.

It was an outgrowth of the script I am using to annoy
wil...@ix.netcom.com.

--
To a Real Woman, every ejaculation is premature.

Wotan

unread,

Jun 7, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/7/96

to

In article <DsLDL...@cursor.demon.co.uk>,

Kevin Walsh <ke...@cursor.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <hausmannD...@netcom.com> haus...@netcom.com (John Hausmann) writes:
>> Wotan (wo...@netcom.com) wrote:

>> > Here is a current list of posters - and an indicator of how badly they
>> > need a life. BTW, what brought Naql back?
>> >
>> <yawn> Why thanks, Bill. Now how many of my posts are cross-posted from
>> talk.abortion *or* alt.snivvelfoot?
>>

>I think you'll find it difficult to determine from which
>newsgroup any particular article originated, so your request
>to have it listed as part of a stats post is clearly the mark
>of a newbie. I suggest that, if this information is important
>to you, you keep a note each time you post.

Actually, knowing John's posting habits - this is simple to determine.

53 to bigshit, and 79 to t&a.

>If the statistics could identify the articles which originated
>from talk.abortion or alt.snivvelfoot, it would help with that
>Wotan character's stated quest, which was to identify the posters
>who need a life.

Lets see, this might help some:

Total From
===== ========
53 haus...@netcom.com
48 rch...@smart.net
16 ngu...@netspace.net.au
7 thunderr <thun...@ix.netcom.com>
6 Matt Kellner <mkel...@trumpet.aix.calpoly.edu>
5 iri...@interlog.com
5 bh...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA
4 six...@ix.netcom.com
4 p...@phoenix.net
4 o2c...@mercury.gaianet.net
4 kal...@lynx.dac.neu.edu
4 IRS Agent <ta...@yourwallet.empty.gov>
4 Fat Freddy's Cat <ff...@mail.gmu.edu>
4 CouncilOf3 <Rev...@ix.netcom.com>
3 tec...@earthlink.net
3 sno...@computek.net
3 rwil...@csc.com
3 paa...@stud.cs.uit.no
3 mc...@grayfox.svs.com
3 maxf...@rohan.sdsu.edu
3 jy...@swt.edu
3 j.t.e...@stv.uio.no
3 an57...@anon.penet.fi
3 ITH...@UGA.CC.UGA.EDU
3 Bufford LaMarr <bla...@anv.csa.mil>

Total From
===== ========
281 t-rm...@microsoft.com
249 amo...@ix.netcom.com
150 r...@netcom.com
147 mel...@ix.netcom.com
142 fran...@ug.cs.dal.ca
112 kke...@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu
90 tru...@albany.net
85 nyi...@math.scarolina.edu
81 ta...@panix.com
79 haus...@netcom.com
55 bri...@carnell.com
53 kee...@wizvax.net
53 cao...@ix.netcom.com
46 ake...@nevada.edu
44 Cheryl Morris <jrj...@cannet.com>
41 ri...@zipnet.net
38 chr...@minn.net
37 Todd Andrews <tand...@deltanet.com>
36 bfo...@interramp.com
34 "R. Carruth" <rcar...@deltanet.com>
30 lip...@atlantic.net
28 r...@wisenet.net.au
27 ta...@ix.netcom.com
27 mpun...@prairienet.org
25 sol...@capecod.net
24 pet...@netcom.com

--
Reagan can't _ a_ c_ t either

Martin Hannigan

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Jun 7, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/7/96

to

In article <DsLDL...@cursor.demon.co.uk>,
Kevin Walsh <ke...@cursor.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>In article <hausmannD...@netcom.com> haus...@netcom.com (John Hausmann) writes:
>> Wotan (wo...@netcom.com) wrote:
>
>If the statistics could identify the articles which originated
>from talk.abortion or alt.snivvelfoot, it would help with that
>Wotan character's stated quest, which was to identify the posters
>who need a life.

Let' start with you, King of Wank, Lord of Noone.

Up the Queens sphincter hole! UP the KINGS bunghole you go. Carry on.
Pip pip pip pipsqueak.

--
Martin Hannigan (hann...@shore.net)
Public Key: finger hann...@shore.net

- .. -- .--- .- -.-. -.- ... --- -. ..-. --- -.. -.. . .-.

Legion

unread,

Jun 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/8/96

to

In article <4p0kk9$n...@hole.sdsu.edu>,
Avoid normal situations. <maxf...@rohan.sdsu.edu> wrote:

>Suzanna Valory (suz...@suburbia.net) wrote:
>: Is there some other list available (including real Alt.flame Who's who)?
>
> Throw a net.brick and you shall probably hit one. Wotan just reposted his
>FAQ, and Bubbles will probably mosey along with his version any day now...

And Paaaale shat his onto the group a couple of days ago. Splattered
everywhere, too. Hey HOEK! Get out here and clean this up, you
good-for-nothing rectal parasite.

-Legion
--
____________________________________________________________________
/~` "The sun will set forever / One after one, the stars they die / '~\
|_ The rainbow has turned to black / Darkness has fallen in Paradise" _|
\:______________________________-- Candlemass__________________________:/

Bubbles

unread,

Jun 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/8/96

to

suz...@suburbia.net (Suzanna Valory) wrote:

>Well, ANS: This is not supposed to be flamiong, but can you
>tell me what is the purpose of this Who's Who.

>I've been lurking in this group a LONG time, and I've never heard of
>these persons:

>BARD

>Clayton, David
>Hart, Andrew
>Karnes, Daniel
>Kickaha
>Myrvang, Per Harald
>Ian Thomas
>Nolley, Terry aka Repo Man
>Screiber, Wendy
>Zeke

>etc, etc...

>Are the entries in Who's Who your _friends_ or what?

Yeesh. With friends like those...

--MarkB

>Is there some other list available (including real Alt.flame Who's who)?

>--
>Suzanna

John Hausmann

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Jun 8, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/8/96

to

Kevin Walsh (ke...@cursor.demon.co.uk) wrote:
: In article <hausmannD...@netcom.com> haus...@netcom.com (John Hausmann) writes:
: > Wotan (wo...@netcom.com) wrote:

: > > Here is a current list of posters - and an indicator of how badly they
: > > need a life. BTW, what brought Naql back?
: > >
: > <yawn> Why thanks, Bill. Now how many of my posts are cross-posted from
: > talk.abortion *or* alt.snivvelfoot?
: >

: I think you'll find it difficult to determine from which

: newsgroup any particular article originated, so your request
: to have it listed as part of a stats post is clearly the mark
: of a newbie. I suggest that, if this information is important
: to you, you keep a note each time you post.

Gee Kevin, I suppose if I asked where they originated I might agree with
you. But I didn't, so I don't. Move along fuckwit, move along.

Ned Kelly

unread,

Jun 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/9/96

to

Kevin Walsh (ke...@cursor.demon.co.uk) wrote:

: In article <wotanDs...@netcom.com> wo...@netcom.com (Wotan) writes:
: > In article <4p399j$m...@tofu.alt.net>,

: > Here is a current list of posters - and an indicator of how badly they

: > need a life. BTW, what brought Naql back?
: >
: > There are 2739 posts in alt.flame.
: >
: > Total From
: > ===== ========

: >
: > ...
: >
: > 2 "Gerard M. Hengst" <hen...@euronet.nl>

: > 2 "Christopher. Armstrong" <Christophe...@durham.ac.uk>
: > 2
: > 2
: > 1 zxm...@hp10.zdv.uni-tuebingen.de
: > 1 zo...@autobaun.com

: >
: > ...

: >
: Bwaaaaaaaaahahahaha! You obviously licensed your statistics
: technology off the Australians. The bit where the addresses
: are missing is clearly a trademark of the Dacman.

Maybe he's ANOTHER Aussie wannabe! Good on him! At least he's got the
sense to not use American statsistics technology, which is equivalent to
the technology used by rats.

--
Ned Kelly Lives!!!!!!
"That isn't a knife.... This is a KNIFE!" - Paul Hogan

The Navy: It's Not Just A Job..... It's $cientology Lite!

Dave Williams

unread,

Jun 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/9/96

to

Wotan (wo...@netcom.com) wrote:
: There are 2739 posts in alt.flame.
: [snip]
: 1 1313131...@ix.netcom.com

: 1 10055...@COMPUSERVE.COM
: 1 "sadler daniel " <dsa...@gl.umbc.edu>
: 1 "ics...@cyberway.com.sg" <ics...@cyberway.com.sg>
: 1 "W. Scott Wilson" <hadr...@ix.netcom.com>

: [snip]

Very ... um... Dacish of you. Fuck off, stat-boy.

D.

Dave Williams

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Jun 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/9/96

to

Martin Hannigan (hann...@shore.net) wrote:
: Let' start with you, King of Wank, Lord of Noone.

:
: Up the Queens sphincter hole! UP the KINGS bunghole you go. Carry on.
: Pip pip pip pipsqueak.

If there's one thing you can say about Handonglans, it's that he's
consistent.

D.

Martin Hannigan

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Jun 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/9/96

to

In article <4pefrd$3...@basil.clues.com>, Dave Williams <da...@clues.com> wrote:
>Wotan (wo...@netcom.com) wrote:
>: There are 2739 posts in alt.flame.
>: [snip]
>: 1 1313131...@ix.netcom.com

>: 1 10055...@COMPUSERVE.COM
>: 1 "sadler daniel " <dsa...@gl.umbc.edu>
>: 1 "ics...@cyberway.com.sg" <ics...@cyberway.com.sg>
>: 1 "W. Scott Wilson" <hadr...@ix.netcom.com>

>: [snip]
>
>Very ... um... Dacish of you. Fuck off, stat-boy.
>

You FUCKMONKEY. You're still here? Shit. I spanked you off the net som
many times I'm surprised you still have a hole to shit out of.

Grubor

Arthur Sankey

unread,

Jun 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/9/96

to

Martin Hannigan (hann...@shore.net) writes:
> In article <4pefrd$3...@basil.clues.com>, Dave Williams <da...@clues.com> wrote:
>>Wotan (wo...@netcom.com) wrote:

>>: There are 2739 posts in alt.flame.
>>: [snip]
>>: 1 1313131...@ix.netcom.com

>>: 1 10055...@COMPUSERVE.COM
>>: 1 "sadler daniel " <dsa...@gl.umbc.edu>
>>: 1 "ics...@cyberway.com.sg" <ics...@cyberway.com.sg>
>>: 1 "W. Scott Wilson" <hadr...@ix.netcom.com>

>>: [snip]
>>
>>Very ... um... Dacish of you. Fuck off, stat-boy.
>>
>
>
> You FUCKMONKEY. You're still here? Shit. I spanked you off the net som
> many times I'm surprised you still have a hole to shit out of.

How wrong you where. In fact, rotten has *THREE* holes to shit out of, and
he uses them extensively.

--
King Arthur IIV the profane, official taxidermist of alt.flame
The following words are in this .sig to fuck up censorship bots:
Fuck shit shat ass cunt piss twat sluck arse sneck tit vark jumbo-weener
...And remember, all roads lead to alt.flame

Avoid normal situations.

unread,

Jun 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/9/96

to

Dave Williams (da...@clues.com) wrote:

Some of us prefer not to say *anything* about him.

Dave Williams

unread,

Jun 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/9/96

to

Martin Hannigan (hann...@shore.net) wrote:
: In article <4pefrd$3...@basil.clues.com>,
: Dave Williams <da...@clues.com> wrote:
: >Very ... um... Dacish of you. Fuck off, stat-boy.
:
: You FUCKMONKEY.

You Fuckhead. Me Dave. Get it right, Martyr.

: You're still here?

When I can be bothered to read the streams of pathetic drivel
pouring through alt.flame these days.

: Shit.

It is.

: I spanked you

In your dreams, pinkboy.

D.

Dave Williams

unread,

Jun 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/9/96

to

Avoid normal situations. (maxf...@rohan.sdsu.edu) wrote:

: Dave Williams (da...@clues.com) wrote:
: : Martin Hannigan (hann...@shore.net) wrote:
: : : Let' start with you, King of Wank, Lord of Noone.
: : :
: : : Up the Queens sphincter hole! UP the KINGS bunghole you go. Carry on.
: : : Pip pip pip pipsqueak.
:
: : If there's one thing you can say about Handonglans, it's that he's
: : consistent.
:
: Some of us prefer not to say *anything* about him.

Makes a change for you not to say anything about *anything* -
what's with the sudden reticence, oh verbose one?

D.

Kevin Walsh

unread,

Jun 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/9/96

to

In article <4pd9ro$5...@news.ais.net> nedk...@eagle.ais.net (Ned Kelly) writes:
> Kevin Walsh (ke...@cursor.demon.co.uk) wrote:
> > In article <wotanDs...@netcom.com> wo...@netcom.com (Wotan) writes:
> > > In article <4p399j$m...@tofu.alt.net>,

> > > Here is a current list of posters - and an indicator of how badly they
> > > need a life. BTW, what brought Naql back?
> > >
> > > There are 2739 posts in alt.flame.
> > >
> > > Total From
> > > ===== ========
> > >

> > > ...

> > >
> > > 2 "Gerard M. Hengst" <hen...@euronet.nl>
> > > 2 "Christopher. Armstrong" <Christophe...@durham.ac.uk>
> > > 2
> > > 2
> > > 1 zxm...@hp10.zdv.uni-tuebingen.de
> > > 1 zo...@autobaun.com
> > >

> > > ...
> > >
> > Bwaaaaaaaaahahahaha! You obviously licensed your statistics
> > technology off the Australians. The bit where the addresses
> > are missing is clearly a trademark of the Dacman.
> >
> Maybe he's ANOTHER Aussie wannabe! Good on him! At least he's got the
> sense to not use American statsistics technology, which is equivalent to
> the technology used by rats.
>

Since you clearly have gone to great lengths to discover
what statistics technology is currently favoured by the
rats in your kitchen, perhaps you could find out what use
they have for the statistics they generate.

Perhaps these statistics are used in your relentless and
increasingly desperate quest to show that Australia has a
culture.

Could you ask your king rat, once he has compiled his report,
to post a copy here so that we may all discover exactly what
he has been working on, and whether the funds, presumably
provided by both of the Australian taxpayers, has been put
to good use or has simply been wasted on cheese.

Kevin Walsh

unread,

Jun 9, 1996, 3:00:00 AM6/9/96

to

In article <hausmannD...@netcom.com> haus...@netcom.com (John Hausmann) writes:
> Kevin Walsh (ke...@cursor.demon.co.uk) wrote:

> > In article <hausmannD...@netcom.com> haus...@netcom.com (John Hausmann) writes:
> > > Wotan (wo...@netcom.com) wrote:

> > > > Here is a current list of posters - and an indicator of how badly they
> > > > need a life. BTW, what brought Naql back?
> > > >
> > > <yawn> Why thanks, Bill. Now how many of my posts are cross-posted from
> > > talk.abortion *or* alt.snivvelfoot?
> > >

> > I think you'll find it difficult to determine from which
> > newsgroup any particular article originated, so your request
> > to have it listed as part of a stats post is clearly the mark
> > of a newbie. I suggest that, if this information is important
> > to you, you keep a note each time you post.
> >
> Gee Kevin, I suppose if I asked where they originated I might agree with
> you. But I didn't, so I don't. Move along fuckwit, move along.
>

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you specifically requested that
this Wotan character inform you of the number of posts that
were cross-posted from talk.abortion or alt.snivvelfoot.

I maintain that it would be difficult for anyone other than
the author to determine which of the newsgroups listed in
the newsgroups header was supposed to be the origin, and
thus work out the number of articles that were cross-posted
from any particular destination.

If you still insist that it wasn't you who asked for statistics
related to the origin of your articles, then I suggest that you
tighten the security of your site in an attempt to ensure that
a similar forgery cannot be attempted in the future.