The inevitable

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Aaron Linville

Feb 14, 2003, 9:56:22 AM2/14/03
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She was putting it off; she didn't want to deal with it. I wrote her an
email and confronted her. She saw it, but still couldn't bring herself to
call me. Like I would just go away after some amount of time and she'd
never have to deal with it.

So I called her Thursday night (the 23rd). I don't think I caught her off
guard, but she did seem a bit surprised. I asked her if she saw the email.
She said yes. Moments passed. Perhaps an entire minute. She said nothing.
I asked her if she wanted to end it. She sighed and said yes.

I'm not so much upset about the breakup as about her just ignoring me and
not telling me that she wanted to move on. Feelings change, people move on
...yadda yadda yadda... life happens. I've dealt with the breakup. No, my
problem is the fact that for over a month (perhaps even two) she had me
blocked my name on AIM. I just happened to make a throw away account the
other day to give Adium 2.0 a whirl and I noticed when I imported my buddy
list that she appeared on that list, but not on my normal user's list.[0]

That's when it all became crystal -fucking- clear to me.

I'd been the one who had to call her for the last couple months. She'd
never called me. I'd sent her flowers for her birthday. She never called
to thank me. I called her several days later wondering if she'd actually
gotten them or had the florist screwed up, but no, she'd received them and
thought they were nice. On Christmas day, I called her and she pretty much
just cut me off after four minutes. On New Years I'd called her, she'd
only gone out to see some fireworks and was heading to bed right when I
called[1]. I asked her if anything was wrong. She said no, and that
everything was fine. I, naively, had attributed everything on her being
stressed with classes and her senior design project.

Still I sit here, wondering what possibly I could have done. She said she
didn't really have a good reason for breaking up with me. I suggested the
distance and she said yes that was probably a lot of it, and that I can
accept. I had my doubts too, and when she told me about the offer she'd
received to go to Arizona after graduation, I knew that the end was near.
I guess I'd figured she'd tell me rather than just let me figure it out on
my own.

But it all comes back to the whole reason I'm writing this. I was just
left hanging out there in the cold having to clue things together myself.
There's the anguish of a breakup and then there's the pain of just being
neglected, ignored, discarded, all because someone, whom you've been in a
deep and passionate relationship, can't bring themself to face you.

Alas, I'm moving on now though. Just another memory relegated to the
depths of my conciousness to rarely be dwelled upon again. And no, Amy
Marie West, I won't call you if I have anything I want to talk about.[2]

[0]- Irony. n: The only reason she knows how to block a person is because
I showed her how. She was getting annoyed with one of her former
[1]- Her time 11:15, my time 12:15. She's central, I'm eastern.
[2]- I'll just post it to a long abondoned news group to be archived
forever by Google.



Mar 30, 2003, 7:21:46 PM3/30/03

Can't live with 'em - Can't live with 'em.


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Jerry Holland

Jul 3, 2003, 4:57:21 PM7/3/03

Can't live with 'em. Can't kill 'em.
"Blippie" <> wrote in message

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