Acronyms anyone?
Chris St.John
author)
Unique Medical Terminology and
Words Heard Around the Station
Underlined terms are listed elsewhere
"M" sign Patient just goes “mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...”
"O" sign Patient unconscious with mouth open
"Q" sign Patient unconscious with mouth open and tongue hanging out
“Dotted Q” sign A fly lands on the tongue
185 grain Injection Shot with a 9mm gun
240 grain Injection Shot with a 44 caliber magnum
4F Club Fair, fat, female & forty - A clue that your abdominal pain patient is
a good candidate for cholecystitis (gall bladder disease)
4H Club Hemophilia, Hispanic, Homosexual, Heroin abuser
Note: 4H'rs are normally also members of the High 5 Club
500 Club Blood alcohol >500
AAA Armed agitated asshole
ABC “Ambulance before cops” or “Ambulate before carry” or if you are in a
private ambulance company: “Always bill completely”
Abdomen A shortage of the little Pillsbury guys. (Say it slowly)
Achmed Any middle eastern convenience store clerk
Acid-base Where junkies hang out
Accordionated Being able to drive and refold the road map at the same time.
Acoustic A small length of wood used to coax sounds from certain avians.
Acousticophobia Fear of accoustics. Common in certain avians.
Acute Angina Ummm, never mind
Acute Lead Poisoning Gunshot wound
Acute Thorazine
Deficiency As you might imagine
Adenoma What you told your mother when you didn’t know the answer
ADR “Ain’t doin’ right”
Afarmin Us
Afterbirth The period of extrauterine life
Afterpains A period of maternal discomfort following childbirth. Most intense
in the offspring’s pubertal years.
AGA “Acute gravity attack” i.e. the patient fell down
AGMI “Ain't gonna make it”
Agonist A device or substance that causes extreme pain.
Airborne Ranger Suicide by fall
Air Conditioned Multiple GSW
Airway The three-dimensional space set aside for the flightpath of a jet or
plane during takeoff and landing.
Alcohol A liquid refreshment used by some to “let themselves go” (i.e., to
become who they are) and by others to forget who they are. See ETOH
Allstateitis Neck and back pain developing after an MVA as the drivers exchange
insurance cards.
ALS “Absolute loss of sanity”, “Always lifting something”, or “Advanced lizard
slinging”
ALS Units Super duper pooper scoopers
Ambudexterous The ability to hold a bag valve mask with two hands while
squeezing the bag with your elbow
Ambuslaps Sharp, double blows delivered to the back door of an ambulance,
presumably to signal the driver to pull away - often seen on television
Ambusneak To shut down all emergency lights and sirens several blocks from a
scene (see Cloaking Device)
Amp of Holy Water An irreverent but not calously intended indication that in the
failing resuscitation effort still underway the next drug to give would be an
ampoule of Holy Water as either a miraculous cure or as benediction for
afterlife, and as a gentle suggestion that resuscitation efforts be terminated.
AMR “All medicare recipients”
Anally Every year
Anaesthesia A Russian princess you studied in History class
Antacid Hallucinogenic drugs for little bugs
Antenna Farm A car with several antennas. See “Wacker”
Anthrax A trail made by ants
Antibodies Something uncles are familiar with
Antibody Your Aunt is Cindy Crawford
APRS “Acute Puerto Rican syndrome” - bouts of screaming and yelling
AQR “Ain't quite right”
Arrhythmia Living an alternative rhythm style
Arsh People from Arlin, as in Arsh Farmin
Arson The guy who Jay Leno replaced
ART “Assuming room temperature”
Artery The study of fine paintings
AST “Assuming seasonal temperature”
Asthma What to do when Dad says no
Atrophy A prize for winning the Fireman’s parade
Autopsy Your car hood
Awl What you put in the engine crankcase
BA Bingo A lottery based on blood alcohol results
Back to 2nd grade A severe stroke victim
Backdraft Your pants have a rip in ‘em
Bacteria Behind the cafeteria
Bag ‘n Drag Get to the ER fast!
Bald Some farmin like their eggs this way
Barium What you do when CPR fails
BATS “Busted all to sh*t”
Bat Signal The urgent flailing hand signal from someone who is training a new
ambulance driver.
Batty Water extinguisher
Becket Bend The turn onto Becket Road
Beltsnarl Mishandling of an ambulance seat belt by a frantic relative
accompanying a patient; typically results in a need for assistance with
disentanglement.
Benign What you be after you be eight
BESSG “Blonde Emergency Services Sexual Groupie”
BFC “Big f*cking crash”
BFL “Big f*cking light” (off the rescue squad)
BFR “Big f*cking rock” an alternate access device
Bilateral Someone who speaks two languages
Binky™ Test The ability of an infant to show basic stability and an interest in
"the important things in life" by placidly sucking on a pacifier.
Biologic Thinking with other parts of your body
Bisexual A person who pays for sex
Blade A nickname for a surgeon. Surgeons are known to be bold and arrogant -
often wrong but never in doubt.
Blaze A sports coat
BLEVE “Blast levels everything very effectively”
Blister A person that shows up after the work is done.
BLOB “Bum lying on bench”
Blood Count Count Dracula
BLS “Barbaric life support” or “Barely Life Supporting” or “Basic Lifting
Service”
BLS Survey A - Airway, B - Breathing, C - Cancel the Medics
Blue Bloater Description of bodily appearance of COPD patients with Chronic
Bronchitis
Bluey on the Green Cardiac arrest on the golf course
Blurrections - Unintelligible directions from a 911 caller, e.g. "Hang a left
where the old schoolhouse used to be..."
BOASTING Pitter patter of little feats
BOHICA “Bend over, here it comes again!”
Botulism Tendancy to make mistakes
Bowel A letter like A, E, I, O and U
The Box Firefighter slang for a modular ambulance, generally called “The
Sh*tbox” by those who would rather ride an engine or truck.
Boxed Put in a pine box (i.e., died)
Brady Brunch Medication (typically Atropine) administered in an attempt to
increase a patient's heart rate.
BRT “Big Red Truck”
Breathanol A gaseous, still-potent form of alcohol found wafting from the
mouths of certain EMS frequent fliers
Bronchitis A dinosaur from the Jurassic Age
Bruise A six pack of beer
BSS “Bilateral Samsonite Syndrome” - a patient who is waiting with both their
bags packed
BTSOOM “Beats the sh*t out of me”
Bucket The end of the aerial truck
Bug Juice Intravenous antibiotics
Bugle Boy An officer
Burger’s Disease From eating between runs at too many fast food places
Burn & Return Radiation treatment patient
Bus Referring to any Medic Unit (heard on “Third Watch”)
The Bus Unloaded A cluster or "bolus" of patients has arrived in the ER
BWS Beached Whale Syndrome
Patient is BYOB A drunk
C & A “Conscious and Alert” as in C&A X3
Cactus Patch Any fire station full of pricks
Caffiene The fifth food group.
Canadian Cruise Missle Winnebagos
Cancer Sure I will, Doc.
Canary A Probie or FNG sent in to see if it’s safe. A Blue Canary, in HazMat
terms, is a policeman at the scene.
Car vs. pole “But I only had two beers!”
Cardiac An old car buff
Cardiac Arrest Nature’s way of telling your patient to take a little dirt nap
Cardiology The study of poker playing
Cardioplasty Credit cards
Carditis Addicted to playing poker
Carpal People who drive to work together
Castrate The going price for setting a fracture
Cataract A whole lot nicer than a Chevrolet
Cathode Ray The amount Ray billed Cathy
CATS “Cut all to sh*t”
CAT Scan When the engine crew looks for a lost kitty
Cauterize To make eye contact with an attractive patient
CBT “Certified Bedpan Tech”
CC “Cancel Christmas”
CCFCCP “Coo-Coo For Cocoa Puffs”
Ceiling Sign The intense physical response including near-levitation from the
bed to the ceiling induced by examining for abdominal tenderness in Pelvic
Inflammatory Disease.
Cesarean Section The portion of Las Vegas near the Palace.
Charlie Carrot A vegetative patient
Chartomegaly From “chart” referring to the medical record, and “megaly” meaning
large or exaggerated in size. Refers to the chart of a patient who comes to the
ER very frequently or is a frequent flyer.
CHAOS “Chief has arrived on scene”
"chee-can-breeth" aka Chicken Breath - latino slang for "she can't breath"
Chiaphone When you go to use the phone and it is growing stuff you never
learned in biology class.
“Chicken Spray” A nickname used by "oncology kids", for Ethyl Cloride spray, the
chilling evaporant liquid used for transiently numbing injection sites.
Choconivorous The tendancy, when eating a chocolate Easter bunny, to bite the
head off first.
Chummer A female EMT student who rides along and “chums” for dates.
Civil War Dead Blue on one side, gray on the other.
Clean Jerk What you hope you get when you pick up a body that’s been down for a
long time.
Cloaking Device A yet-to-be-invented gadget that renders an ambulance invisible
to people who have nothing better to do than call 911 instead of a cab.
Closer Someone who can always get the IV.
Club Med A slow station
Clumfert That invisible extra step at the top and bottom of a staircase.
Usually materializes when you are carrying a heavy patient on the stretcher.
CNS-QNS “Central nervous system - quantity not sufficient”
Cocktail Lounge Hoseman’s jumpseat
Code Brown A sh*t call
Code Orca A 250 pound+ patient living above the first floor.
Code Surfing Riding the stretcher into the ER while performing CPR
Colic The station sheep dog
Coma A Report punctuation mark
Coma Cocktail 3 medication combinations typically administered for a coma of
unknown cause (Narcan, D50W & Thiamine)
Company Social guests
Congenital Friendly
Constipation To have and to hold
Consult w/ Dr Haldol A sedated psychiatric patient
Copulate Sex between two consenting police officers
COPD “Chronic old persons disease”
CPR “Cardiopulmonary resuscitation” - the practice of squashing dead people’s
chests in hopes of squeezing enough blood to the brain to keep them alive for a
few minutes more until help arrives. Also called “Cardiac public relations” or
“Can't possibly recover” or “Come Put em-to Rest” or “Check pockets & run” (from
NYC, isn't that a surprise)
CRAFT “Can’t remember a f*cking thing”
Cranial-Rectal Inversion Head up their butt
Crash Cart A form of road accident occuring about the time of Napolean
Crisis Intervention
Accessories Handcuffs and leg irons
Crowning When you really have to go to the bathroom NOW
CRS “Can’t remember sh*t”
CRT “Can't really treat”
CTD “Circling the drain” or “Close to Death” see also FTD
CTS “Crazier than sh*t”
Cyst To render aid, as in “Can I cyst you with that ma’m?”
D & C Where Washington is
DAFF “Dumb Ass Firefighter”
Dart ‘em Needle decompression
Dash for Cash Helicopter transport of critically ill patients. These helicopters
are often owned and run by private companies that charge big bucks.
Dash Trash Paperwork, Burger King wrappers, and other assorted litter that
accumulates on the ambulance dashboard
Deceleration Trauma
Aggravated by
Concrete Poisoning MVA's into bridge abutments
DDPI “Dead despite paramedic intervention”
Dead Fred in Bed That early morning “Unconscious, suspected DOA” call
Death What some patients do, in the end, to humiliate the paramedic
Deep Fryer An automatic defibrillator
Defib Correcting yourself when someone catches you in a lie
Dental A car after a crash
Depressed Very sad pants
Dermatologist A doctor who makes rash decisions.
DFO “Done fell out” also DFO-SFJ “Done fell out - screaming for Jesus”
Diarrhea The daily station journal
DIB “Dead in Bed”
Didipee A question of apparently high importance regarding the patient's
history invariably asked by nurses taking a report: colloquial translation of
"Did he void? (empty the urinary bladder).
Dilate To live longer
Diesel Zone The area to the right rear of an ambulance in high idle at an
emergency scene, marked by hot, toxic gases, the atmosphere is inpenetrable by
bystanders
DIIK “Darned if I know”
DILLIGAF “Do I look like I give a f*ck?”
Dimer Modern slang, e.g., “These yahoos are a dimer dozen.”
DIN The “Dispatcher is nuts”
Dint Did not!
DIRTBAG “Dirty indigent requesting transport because alcohol gives him
seizures”
Disconfect To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor of the unit
by blowing on it, somehow assuming that this will “remove” all the germs.
Dislocation Dispatcher telling a crew where to go
Ditch Doctors Paramedics
DMFNFL “Dumb mother f*cker, not fit to live”
Dockling The flock of baby interns and students following an attending
physician through the corridors of a teaching hospital. (like ducklings lined up
behind their mother)
Doctor Having put a ship into dock as in “Yep, I doctor at the pier.”
Doing a Burnt Worm Seizure - aka “Doing the tuna” or “Drop and flop”
Doing the Elvis Vagal out on the toilet
Doing the Frog Muscle twitching during defibrillation
Donor Cycles Motorcycles
Doorstop A guy who holds the door but doesn’t (or won’t) go into the fire
Dopamine Where the Dopas come from
DRT “Dead right there”
DRTTTT “Dead right there, there, there, & there” (Used after train vs
pedestrian accidents)
DSB “Drug seeking behavior” - used to describe patients with bogus complaints
seeking narcotics in order to dull an otherwise unhappy life.
Duck The portable male urinal - taken from its similar sillouette to the bird
of the same name.
Dude Factor A survival scoring factor based on social worth. A high dude
factor would be an individual of questionable social worth who seems to survive
what should be fatal injuries (100+ foot falls, GSW to head/heart, torn aortas
from MVA's). A low or poor dude factor would be the professional person who slips
in the bathroom sustaining a fatal epidural bleed or cervical fracture.
Dump This word has several meanings: 1) When a nursing home dumps a sick
patient (usually a negative wallet biopsy) on an ER to be cleaned up and cared
for. 2) When a sick patient goes bad, he dumps or crashes.
Dump the Barn See “Parade”
Dust Farter Beyond elderly
DVR “Darth Vader respirations”
DWPA “Died with paramedic assistance”
Ears Stethescope
Easter Eggs Drinking glasses you find all over the station when you relieve the
previous shift.
EKG - FLB “EKG funny little bumps”
Elderly
Mother Trucker An EMT BLS unit
Electrode Amount due the electric company
Elixer What the station dog does to the Chief’s wife
EMD “Early morning discovery” I.e., he woke up dead.
Emerson Goodwin When viewing a woman’s chest x-ray, a southern doctor
Sign may often note: “Emerson Goodwins!”
Emesis When the patient throws up on his own floor, it’s called EMESIS. When
the patient throws up on the floor of my rig, it’s called VOMIT. But, when the
patient throws up on me, it’s definetly called PUKE!
EMS Wedgie The condition of an EMT after being "helped" with a firm grip on the
belt accompanied by lifting action, while carrying a patient down a flight of
stairs
EMT “Expensive medicare taxi” or “Every menial task” or “Egg crate mattress
technician” “Extra Man on Truck” or “Early morning transporter” or or “Easy
moving target” (from Wash D.C., where else?)
EMT-I “Extra man to intubate”
EMT-P “Expensive medicare taxi provider”
EMTpee The tentlike structure created by an exhausted EMT pulling the sheets
over his head in a vain attempt to get a few minutes sleep
Enema Not a friend
Engine House Teepee
ER The things on yer head that ya hear wit
ETOH “Extremely Trashed or Hammered”
Exudate Dating your old lover again
EyeTach “AYE, YA, YIE, YA, YIE, YA, YIE”
FACBP “Fellow of the American College of Bystander Physicians” who can easily
be indentified at any emergency scene as he shouts orders, typically "hurry
up!!!”
Face Plant Victim falls forward injuring face against floor or other object
Faceprints Windshield indentations in car crashes
Failure To Fly The patient fails to achieve the hoped-for discharge criteria and
bounces back shortly after discharge; reminiscent of fledgling birds that can't
yet leave the nest.
Far What farmin put water on. One of those things we put out
Farmin Baltimore Firefighters
Farn Gin Used for taking farmin to fars
FD “Fucking drunk”
FDGB “Fall down, go boom”
Feather Count A measure of flakiness
Fecal Encephalopathy Sh*t for brains
Fester Quicker
FIBD “Found in bed dead”
FIG-FUBAR “Found in gutter, f*cked up beyond all recognition”
FIG JAM “Fuck I’m good, just ask me”
Fibrillate Tell lies
Fibula That tiny white lie
FINE “F*cked up , insecure, neurotic & emotional”
Fireballs of the
Eucharist Street slang for “fibroids of the uterus”
FIRT “Failed impact resistance test”
Fisher-Price So simple even a fireman couldn’t screw it up.
Flares Flashlight carrying cops who would rather direct traffic than be of any
help with the Rescue Techs. Speed Bumps are Flares who forgot to replace the
batteries in their flashlight.
Flashover Too many lights on the firetruck
Flatulate Fix a tire
FLB “Funny little bumps” or “Funny little beat” on the EKG
Flea Bites Phlebitis
FLK-GLM “Funny looking kid, good looking mom”
Field Flowers Bloomin’ idiots
Fluttering Eye
Syndrome Patient faking having passed out
FNG Obviously, a “f*cking new guy” or Probie
Foam Beer head
FOF “Found on Floor”
Fog Pattern Diarrhea
FOL “Full of Liquor”
FOIC “Fell out in church”
FOOSH "Fall Onto Outstretched Hand" as a mechanism of injury.
Foot A device for finding turnout gear in the dark
FORD “Found on road dead” may also refer to a direction
Forward lay The missionary position
FOS “Full of sh*t” i.e., the severely constipated patient with abdomninal
pain, or used to describe the patient’s story that does not quite hold together.
FOTFL “Fell on the floor laughing”
FPO “For practice only”
Fracture Part of a whole
Freakin’ Urination Frequent urination
Frequent Flyer They’ve been on your rig more than three times
Fresh Meat Plant Fire Training Academy (or EMT school)
FTD Call the florist, otherwise known as “Fixin’ to die”
FTF “Failure to Fly” aka a botched suicide
FUDD “F*cked up dead dude” - also called Elmer FUDD
Fully Involved Seriously seeing someone
Fungal A particularly entertaining female.
Functional Anaerobe An intelligence impaired individual
Gall Bladder An anti-Roman vessel
Gangrene Gang colors on the street
Garage Queen Any unit that spends more time in the repair shop than on the
street.
GARF Generic term for abrasions, lacerations or contusions in any location,
e.g., “He’s got one helluva Garf on his head there, Chief.”
Gargle Quasimoto’s friend
Gasper A patient with sexual asphyxia. Rather, someone who gains sexual arousal
by hypoxia during near strangulation.
GD&R “Grinning, ducking and running”
GDA “Gonna die anyway”
Genital Not Jewish
Gerb Gun A hand-squeezed suction unit (IMHO: They suck because they don't suck)
Ghetto Cattle Pit bulls
Ghetto Pill Ammonia inhalant
GI Series The Army-Navy games.
Glovadue The powder that gets all over your uniform once you've worn your
gloves. In contrast to: Premature Glovulation - When you get the powder all over
your uniform because you put on your gloves and there was no patient to treat.
"Glove up and dig in" Also known as bowel disimpaction
Glow Worms HazMat team
GOA “Gone on arrival”
God Box The defibrillator
GoHomey A transfer from hospital to home
GOK “God only knows” (Referring to a puzzling set of symptoms)
Gold Card Patient A patient who is transported so often, the entire crew knows
all the needed info for the chart without asking for it.
GOMA “Get outta of my ambulance”
GOMER “Get out of my ER” (Note: GOMERs never die)
GOMER Tote The “I don’t feel good” call
GPH “Goddamns per hour”
Gravitational
Disassociation What intoxicated people experience when they fall
Gravity Mediated,
Concrete Poisoning A jumper
GRUNT “Geriatric retiree unable to navigate traffic” often seen driving
Canadian Cruise Missiles
GSH “Giant sweathog”
GTO “Gomer tip over” or an MVA into a nursing home
GTTL “Gone to the light”
Gut Jockey A paramedic who rides the engine
H20 What is on the inside of a fire hydrant. (As opposed to K9P on the
outside.)
Haitian Dune Buggy Car leftovers after the Fire Dept cuts off the doors and roof
Haitian Salute The patient holding his/her neck after a light property damage
MVA
Half Decker Playing with only a half deck
Hamburger Helper AMTRAK vs pedestrian
Hang a Texaco Drip Haul butt fast
Hang Nail A hook for your turnout gear
Haste Cuisine Your local McDonalds
HazMat UFL An unidentified flowing liquid
Heavy Seduced by the chocolate side of the Force
Henway About 3 pounds
Herpes What women do in the Ladies Room
HIBGIA “Had it before, got it again”
High Castor Oil Elevated Cholesterol levels
High Expansion Foam What you get when you open a warm beer after work
High Five Club AIDS patient (HIV)
High Rise When the bread is done
High Serum
Porcelain Level He's a crock
High Velocity
Lead Poisoning GSW, aka a gunshot wound
Hired Over Working overtime
HMO This is actually a variation of the phrase, "Hey, Moe!" Its roots go back
to a concept pioneered by Dr Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be
made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the
eyes. Modern practice replaces the physical finger poke with hi-tech equivalents
such as voice mail and referral slips, but the result remains the same.
Hobby Getting exhausted on your own time
Hormone When the hooker didn’t get paid.
Hound Dog & Kojack Haldol and Prozac
House of Pain The busiest station in the county/city.
Huh Primary word of the teenage language
Humerus Your funny bone
HVLT “High Velocity Lead Therapy” aka gunshot wound
Hydromatic Breakdance A swimmer with a seizure or cramps
Hyena Hernia Hiatal Hernia
Hypertension A state of nervousness paramedics get while having to start a
crying child’s IV
Hypodermic A big fat zoo animal
Hypotension A state of nervousness medics get when they accidently drop a
needle on the floor.
ICU Peek-a-boo
IDM “It doesn’t matter”
IMHO In my humble opinion
Impotent A distinguished or well-known patient
Infant Tigers Impetigo
Inpatient Tired of waiting
"Improving His Case" Victim of a minor MVA or workman's comp injury who wishes
and requires no or little other care than documentation of aches and pains for
the purpose of a legal claim.
Instant Ambulance Hip pack carried by a medic
Insurance Pain Neck pain secondary to a minor MVA
Intern One after another
Intestine Taking an exam
IOWA “Idiots out walkin’ around”
ITBNTL “In the box, nail the lid”
IV The lady who serves hot chocolate on the Canteen
Jack Any slow company member
JAFO “Just another f*cking observer”
Jerk Juice Valium
Jesus Bar The grab bar inside The Box commonly used to hang onto when your
driver is overly zealous around corners.
JFN “Just f*cking nuts”
JIC Tube A "JIC" blood tube is drawn for "just in case"
Joy Juice Morphine Sulphate
JP Frog “Just plain finally ran outta gas”
Juveniles Little rivers that run into the Nile
Keefart That moment of time when you slam the locked ambulance door even as
your brain says "the keys are in the ignition!"
Kevlodor The pungent aroma that wafts from body armor after several hours of
continuous wear, particularly on a hot day.
Kidney The joint between a child’s hip and ankle
Klingons The people found holding the hose (not the nozzle team) in a structure
fire, not performing any real function but you have to step over them to get
anything done. As in "Move out of the way Klingon, I gotta do a search!"
Knife and Forker A member who only shows up for the social events, also called a
“Social Member”
Knockdown Every boxer’s goal
Labor Pains Getting hurt on the job
Land Tuna An extremely obese patient
Laser Trace Asystole (dead as a hammer)
Life Support Magazine subscription
Lightbar Squirt The momentary activation of emergency lights as a greeting to
passing fire apparatus, police cars, and other ambulances
Line “Em Up To insert multiple IV lines in order to resuscitate and monitor a
critically ill patient
Litter Gitter The dudes who only schlep gear up and down the stairs
Lizard Any old person
Lizard Mobile Any car with a hood too long for a lizard to see over
LMC “Low marble count”
LOL “Little old lady”
LOL ‘squared’ “Little old lady lying on linoleum”
LOLYNAD “Little old lady in no acute distress”
LPT “Low pain threshold”
MAGGOT “Medically able (to) go get other transportation”
Magic Juice Cop slang for Narcan
MAP “Mobile anchor point” the largest crew member on the unit
MARPs “Mind Altering Recreational Pharmaceuticals”
Matchbox The Chief’s car
Megahertz “Oh man, it pains me real bad!”
Medimutes Patients who have relatives that feel compelled to answer all the
questions for them
Metaphysically
Challenged DOA
Metro Valve Prolapse Must be an urban heart condition
MFAO “Music for All Occasions” (based on the theory that the right music sets
the mood, e.g. Lynyrd Skynyrd's “That Smell” for a MVA)
MGM syndrome A faker, a person putting on a real good show
Microdeckia “Micro” meaning small, “deck” as in a deck of cards - hence, a
patient playing with less that a full deck.
Minor Operation Somebody else’s
Moe Any first shift fireman
Morbid A better offer
Mr/Ms Potato Head A stroke victim
Mr Stay-Puft A dead body without air conditioning for two weeks
MRB Maximum resident’s benefit (procedures commonly undertaken in the ER to
train docklings
MTF “Metabolizing towards freedom” - (what a drunk does prior to discharge
from ER)
MUH “Messed up heart”
Mutant A variety of insect that is unable to speak.
MUTT “Medically urgent, treat and transport”
Mycoxafillin The generic name for Viagra
Nad Noose When the handle on the foot of the stretcher goes down your pants
while lowering it.
NARS “Not a rocket scientist”
Navigationally Your partner cannot read a map
Disadvantaged
Negative Vehicle to
Vehicle Interface An MVA
Negative Wallet Biopsy A patient without funds or insurance
Newbee A person fresh out of training, all full of vim and vinegar
Nitrates Cheaper than day rates
NKDA “Not known, didn’t ask”
NLPR “No long playing records (for this guy...)
No Hitter A shift with no calls
Node Was aware of...
Noddy An affectionate term for a night Security Guard
Normal Saline When the wind is right, the seas are calm and you are on course.
See Saline.
Nose Hose Nasal intubation or nasogastric tube
OB/GYN The “old boy's got ya naked”
OBS “Obvious bullsh*t”
Occular Rectitis When the nerve from your butt to your eyes becomes inflamed
and you develop a crappy outlook
ODHG “Overdose of holy ghost” - usual cause of FOIC
OFD “Obviously F*cking Dead”
Oh Sh*t Call An MVA with a traumatic cardiac arrest or multiple serious
injuries
Old Timers Disease Alzheimer's disease
Olfactory Receptor The guy who meets your truck at the loading dock
OLFDGB “Old lady fall down - go boom”
Opsculate To visually measure a patient’s vital signs without actually taking
them
Organ Donor A motorcyclist without a helmet.
Ortho Height The elevation of an unattended gurney from which a patient who
falls will always get a hip fracture
OTD - DTR “Out the door and down the road” - aka the patient was finally
discharged from the ER
Outpatient A person who fainted
Outstanding Officer A company officer who never goes into the building
Paddle User The person in charge
Palace Guard Personnel working out of headquarters
PAP Smear A test for paternity
Parade The entire station responds (engine, truck, squad, ambulance, and chief)
Paradigm Twenty cents
Paradox Two physicians
Paragod Just got his paramedic certification and has an attitude
Paralyze A couple of far-fetched excuses
Para-Pups Paramedic students
Parasaurus Rex Any paramedic with over ten years in...
Parasite Binocular vision
Patella Grounds for a sexual harrassment case at the firehouse
Pathological The best way to get there.
Patient Vu That strange feeling that you have transported this particular
patient before
Paul Alpha Punitive ALS
Paws Up Dead
PBAB “Pine box at bedside”
PBS “Pretty bad shape”
PCL “Pre-code look”
PD “Pretty drunk”
Peanuts My paycheck
Peanut Butter Balls Street slang for Phenobarbital
Pelvis Elvis Presley’s cousin
Perch Bait Body under water for several days
PFO “Pissed and fell over,” aka drunk
PGBFH “Paragoddess bitch from Hell” or “Paragod Bastard ...”
Pharmaceutically Cocaine OD
Enhanced Personallity
Pharmaceutically Gifted A steroid user
Pharmanesia The inability to remember what a patient’s medications are for
PHAT “Pretty Hot and Tempting” (used by either gender)
Phone Book Code No hope of survival here, so get out the phone book and cross
off his name
PIA “Pain in the ass”
PID "Pink in dere"
Pink Puffer Description of bodily appearance of COPD patients with Emphysema
Pipe Any 14 ga or larger needle.
PITA “Pain in the ass”
Pizza The fourth food group
Placenta A Christmas flower
Pleece The people who uphold the law. See also “Sarn”
Pneumo-cephalic Airhead
Pneumonia Inventive complaining
PNT “Paramedic nap time”
Poke-n-Choke IV and ET tube
Po-leece A single pleece officer
Polydipose Dysfunction A big, fat guy
Porcelain Level A term that stems from porcelain crockery, or a “crock,” as in a
“crock of shit”. This is a fictitious blood test ordered in the ER to communicate
to a coworker that the patient is malingering and hence a DSB or Terrasphere.
Posh Mortem Death styles of the rich and famous
Postoperative The Mail carrier.
PPP “Piss Poor Perfusion”
Pre-Code Rapid deterioration or near-extremis, see also FTD
Preictal A patient who “feels a seizure coming on.”
Probie The lowest form of life, lower than Whale Sh*t, aka “probationary
firefighter”
Prostate Flat on your back
PUHA “Pick up - haul ass”
Pull the hook Tell the Dispatcher to page/tone the volunteers
Push ‘n Pull CPR
PVC Challenge Intubation
PVL “Patient - very large”
QID “Queen in distress” - also known as a "hissy fit"
Q-Tip A white haired old person who can barely see over the steering wheel,
driving a car 15 MPH under the speed limit and wont get out of your way.
Quadruple 50 club 50 years old, PO2 =50, PCO2 =50, IQ =50
Raisin Farm Nursing home
Raisin Hockey Shuffling nursing home patients back and forth from the ER
Ray A radiologist - i.e., a person who likes to work in the dark but does not
make any decisions. The Radiologist’s national flower is the Hedge. (From an ER
physician)
RBG “Received by God”
RBS “Really bad shape”
Rectum Damn near killed him!
Rescue Techs MVA bystanders who take it upon themselves to tell you how to
extricate the victim
Rheumatic Amorous
Ricky Rescue See “Wacker”
Rigor Morris The station cat is dead
Ringers and Maxipads An OB call
Road Chili Unrestrained, ejected, and splattered
Road Pizza Motorcycle crash victim
Rock Also known as "Da Rock": A member of a company who's a heavy load that
everyone else has to carry. Not to be confused with officers or chiefs, where
such behavior is expected.
Rollover The station dog’s trick
Rookie Chessboard castle
ROSC “Return of spontaneous circulation”
RPVU “Relative Porsche Value Unit” - a surgical index of potential income from
the repair of patient injuries, usually orthopedic in nature, e.g., a fractured
finger is worth maybe a windshield wiper, a fractured hip - a new set of tires,
etc.
S2D2 “Same shit, different day” also called SSDD
Saline Where you go on your friend’s boat
Sarn What a Baltimore Pleece car or Farn Gin makes noise with
SBOD “Stupid bitch or bastard on drugs”
Scar A rolled tobacco leaf
SCENE “Severe coronary event, not ending”
Screamer An officer who yells his orders on the radio
Scrotal Motor Seizure Similar to a SF-Scale
Scrotum Scrubber HazMat term for a decontamination team member
Secretion Hiding anything from your sight
“see roaches” A liver disease often seen in the hispanic inner city
Seizure An early Roman emperor
Sex Very short periods of time. Usage: “I’ll be with you in a couple of sex.”
SF Scale Commonly called the Sphincter Factor Scale, e.g., when a car pulls in
front of the truck while you are responding to a call. Your SF would probably be
a 7 or 8 out of 10.
SFV “S*it for Veins”
S.H.I.T. “Special High Intensity Training”
Shoot and Boot Medicate and discharge
Shock A big fish with sharp teeth
Silver Bracelet Award A special award given to especially disruptive persons by
your local police
Singer Technique Rapid and repeated plunging with an IV needle to find a vein,
considered very bush league
Siren Silver screen seductress, e.g. Jean Harlow
Sleep That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off.
Slope A truck company guy - they're either on a (sloped) ladder or sitting in
a (sloped) recliner
Smurf A cyanotic patient
Social Intubation Deliberate intubation of a verbally abusive patient
Special Assignment Enroute to Mickey-D’s for lunch!
Speedbump The slowest guy to the rig
Spooge Sticky residue, usually of an organic origin; generally found on poorly
cleaned backboards, laryngoscopes, and other medical equipment, or on ambulance
armrests and seats
Spostas Those patients who think it is their god given right to abuse the EMTs,
as in “You’re sposta take me to the hospital!”
Spray & Pray What you do when you mess up and take in too small a hoseline.
Squid Any new EMT who can’t wait to get their feet wet.
Squirrels Overly zealous firefighters
SRH “Sperm retention headache”
Staph Coworkers or employees
Stare of Life The look on the face of a rookie during his first code
Status Asparagus Vegged out patient
Sterile Solution Not using the elevator during a fire
STP The “Same Ten People” who seem to be the only ones to do the work
Stress in the Firehouse When you can’t find the remote
Successful Delivery Baby born in the hospital, not in the rig
Suppression Why you take cough drops
SWAG “Scientific wild ass guess”
SWW “Sick, wet and whiny”
Systole Your sister snitched
T&T Sign Another survival indicator. If you are toothless and have tattoos,
you will survive any insult to your body or its major organ systems.
Tablet A small table
Tachylordiosis A patient rapidly screams "Lordy, Lordy, Lordy"
Tachylordy with a
Junctional Jesus "Lordy, Lordy, Lordy, Lordy, Jesus, Lordy, Lordy." This
condition usually affects elderly women.
Taking the big bite out of
the sh*t sandwich of life Dying patient. As opposed to “Spitting out a sh*t
sandwich” i.e., those who are brought back.
Tape Boogers Reminants on the patient’s skin of old adhesive residue from tape
or EKG pads used on a previous call. May be of archeological age.
Tater A vegged out patient
Tater Toter Ambulance transporting above
TBC “Total Body Crunch” The multi-trauma patient
TDS “Terminal deceleration syndrome” (Usually refers to jumpers and MVA's)
Telexaggeration An imaginary condition used when calling 911, presumably to make
the ambulance arrive more quickly; e.g., “Yeah, he has a broken finger - AND
CHEST PAIN!”
Terminal Exam Hint: your last session at the County Morgue
Terminal Illness Getting sick at the airport
Terrasphere From the Latin terra, meaning earth, and sphere, meaning ball, i.e.
a “dirtball”.
Test Pilot for Sara Lee Another fat guy
TF BUNDY “Totall f*cked, but unfortunately not dead yet”
Throckmorton’s Sign In the unconscious male, the penis points to the injury
Thunderbox Semi-automatic defibrillator
Tibia A small country in Africa
TID “Transient in distress”
Tire Biter New personnel who haven’t passed a Phase 1 exam.
Tissue Gesundheit!
TLW “Terrible little wheezer”
TMB “Too many birthdays”
TNT “Transport and tolerate”
Touchdown Sign As you approach the scene, the bystanders are standing on the
roadside with both hands in the air.
Toddler Torpedo Any unrestrained child in a motor vehicle
Trained Monkey A medic who follows written protocols without a thought as to
what is actually wrong with the patient.
Training The daily talk shows on TV
Trans-Occipital Implant A bullet in the head
Trifecta Flame, death and trauma - all in one perfect shift
TRO “Time ran out”
Trouser Chili No explanation needed here
Tumor An extra pair
Turfing a patient to
the BLS crew Bless 'em, dress 'em & BLS 'em
Two Dude Syndrome The fight victim who always says "I was minding my own
business when these two dudes beat the sh*t out of me"
Urban Outdoorsmen The homeless
Urinate What the triage nurse says when she puts you in bed 8.
Urine The opposite of “you’re out”
Varicose Located nearby
Vein Conceited
Velcro The family or friends who came with the patient to the ER in the
ambulance.
VIP “Very intoxicated person”
Vitamin V Diazepam
Vitamin H Haldol
VOMIT “Vitals, O2, monitors, IV, transport”
WADAO “Weak and dizzy all over”
Wailmuffs Secret headgear worn by civilian drivers who don't want to be
bothered by the ambulance behind them
Water Boy An engine crew member
Whale Sh*t (as in...) 1) Lower than Whale Sh*t - a recently sworn in Probie
2) Whale Sh*t - a Probie with a little more time in.
Whale Tarp A tarp with handles for carrying ‘large’ patients.
Wallet Biopsy The only free medical test you will ever see. Usually performed
by the hospital insurance department before any patient is treated
Water Hammer Something a Probie is sent to all the stations looking for
Weld Defibrillate - as in "I welded him 3 times and he was still in v-fib..."
Whacker The person with 6 emergency lights on their personal vehicle, 7
scanners, 3 pagers, 2 portable radios, and a first aid kit bigger than they are.
They are on the Galls Christmas card list. They can’t close their dresser drawers
because they are too full of T-shirts from big city fire departments they have
never been to.
Wheel & Wait Patients who could have driven themselves to the hospital, but
instead end up in a wheelchair in the waiting room
Wheel Chock Non-aggressive or worthless personnel
Wiggler Seizure victim
Windmill The frantic relative who has taken it upon himself to gesture as he
sees you coming down the street.
WNL “Within normal limits”. Often written as a summary for some part of the
physical exam, but often sarcastically interpreted as “We never looked.”
Woo-Woo A siren
Working-Guy Nod Brief head-twitch of acknowledgement from roadside utility
workers
Wrecking Crew The salvage crew
WWI “Walking while intoxicated”
Yahoo A volunteer who comes out of the woodwork with lights blazing as the
house siren and pagers blare. See also Wacker
Yelpkins Any children who hear your sirens and run out to see the fire truck
or ambulance
Yelpswerve A sudden, violent evasive maneuver performed by a civilian driver
who has just realized that an ambulance is behind him
YOYO “You're on your own”
charles krin
<ditc...@verizon.net> wrote:
>
>ALS Units Super duper pooper scoopers
Maryland State Police helicopter ambulances: Super duper trooper
pooper scoopers...
ck
country doc in louisiana
(no fancy sayings right now)
Buff5200
These have been around for a while:
Toaster - Defib.
Deep frier:- Automatic defbrilator
DRT : dead rar there
GSWD: God said "Who died?"
RED BALL EXPRESS: 10-18 lights and sirens
Puddle Pirates: USCG units detailed to assist FD water operations
Engine or pump bouys: those boys that would run around like chimpanzees and
spray tons of water on everything. Thus a chimp could be trained to squirt
water out of a hose.
Truckie: Anybody could teach a chimp to run around and break windows.
Flambeau (pronounced flambooin): lots of fire; such as flambooin out the
windows.
Little house on the prarie : refers to one of our stations on the outskirts.
Mutant(s) : self explanatory., referring to certain people and how they
behave, live, etc.
Jesus speech : The talk by the Chief prior to crucifying you.
paraQuack or paraGod: EMS folks with more mouth than skill and knowledge
Band-Aid Buggy: Ambulance
Spark 'em: De-fibbrilate
Funky Chicken: Seizers
FUBAR: F----- Up Behond All Recognition
TBC: Total Body Crunch, Multi Trauma Pt.
Jesus Bar: Grab bar inside engines and Band-Aid Buggies used to grab when
you have a slghtly overzelous driver.
Joy Juice: Morphine Sulphate
Gas: N2O2
Pipe: 14 guage or larger needle
Parking Lot: Building fire which has been burned to ground aka Urban
Renewal
Jerk Juice: Valium
Spugus: Mucus suctioned from ET Tube
Jurrasic Park: Nursing home aka God's waiting room
Nourishment Interval: meal
Harpoon: Start an IV with 14g or larger cath.
Snot Slinger: Large building fire
Club-Med: Slow station
Got a puppy: Delivered a baby
ETP: Emergency Toilet Paper: Memos, repremands and other otherwise usless
paperwork
Hose Jocky: Engine Co.
Snatch: Save a person from a fire
Polishing Brass: Kissing-up to the chief aka Kissing Brass
Full Bloom: Fully involved building fire
Plumbers and Roofers: Truckies
Smurf: COPD with low ppO2
Bevis and Butthead: A chief and his/her aide
Dings: Counseling Forms
Dorks: Hot Dogs (both edibile and the FF type)
Cop-ometer: using a police officer's condition at a haz mat incident to
determine the level of hazard.