Fifty years ago today
Joy
college sing "At Night I Dream", the title song of an original musical put
on by the college. My little sister, two college friend and my high school
best friend stood there along with my Dad and me. The solo finished and the
organ began to play the wedding March.
My 10-year-old sister Terry went first, as a junior bridesmaid, then my two
college friends, followed by my high school friend - my maid of honor. I
took my Dad's arm and all my nervousness fell away when I felt how hard he
was shaking. I had thought he might have to hold me up going down the
aisle, but it was the reverse.
As we started down the aisle, I could see Jim, my husband-to be, standing
with three of his friends and my brother Steve. I was glad I had my Dad to
take my mind off all those eyes looking at me. Unlike the way I've been
since I joined Toastmasters, I usually didn't want a lot of people looking
at me. However, I had to keep Daddy upright, so I didn't have time to worry
about anybody else.
Finally we reached the front of the church. The minister said, "Who giveth
this woman ...?" My Dad's voice was firm and clear as he said, "Her mother
and I do." Then he placed my hand in Jim's and sat down.
I don't remember much about the ceremony, or about the reception either.
That was back in the days where a seven course meal wasn't expected at a
wedding reception. All we had was cake and punch. I remember standing in
the reception line, shaking endless hands. It wasn't until almost the end
of that when I realized that all those people saying "Mrs. Gaylord" weren't
talking about my mother-in-law. I remember that two of our friends, Mike
and Margaret, went through the line twice, "because we forgot to kiss the
bride and groom the first time". I vaguely remember cutting the cake, and
we did not shove cake in each other's faces.
After that reception ended, we went to what was now my parents' home, but no
longer mine, where my mother had invited family and a few close friends for
a second reception. For that one, she had made a chocolate wedding cake,
because my new husband had said that was what he'd like in a wedding cake.
We opened the gifts that people had brought to the wedding, and then we went
out to the garage, where Jim's car had been parked. Everybody came out to
watch us drive off.
When we turned the corner where we couldn't be seen from the house, Jim
pulled over to the curb and got out of the car. He removed the "Just
Married" sign that he had seen when he walked around the back of the car to
get in.
Some friends had given us the use of their cabin in the San Bernardino
Mountains for our honeymoon. That was very appropriate, because the church
camp where we met was in those same mountains.
My life would be very different if Jim had lived to celebrate our 50th
anniversary, but I have made a good life for myself, and I am grateful for
all that I have. I am even more grateful for the almost 30 years that we
had together.
Joy
dae
"Joy" <joyga...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:tudpg.161955$F_3....@newssvr29.news.prodigy.net...
Joy,
Happy Anniversary. Yes, you have done well since losing your mate. He
would, or is, proud that you have carried on and made a new life for
yourself. This is a very nice look back into your life.
Congratulations to you, and I'm sure Jim is proud of you as well.
Don
Goromoff
DjZnZ2dnU...@comcast.com:
Happy memories, Joy - these are what go to decorate the fabric of life.
A very warming story.
JD Cooper
ah... bittersweet memories.
((hugs))
JD
Bette
life with Jim.
It can be a lonely existance without our husbands, but you have managed
well, and have your Children.. Jim is proud, I'm sure. Cling to the
loving memories. Bette
Jean B.
It's sad that you are not together this day--and have not been
together for all these years. I hope you can remember that
day without too much pain, Joy. <<<<<Joy>>>>>
--
Jean B.
Joy
news:R_GdnVKg6L8k-DjZ...@comcast.com...
Thank you, Don.
Joy
Joy
news:z4WdnTwB4LM...@bt.com...
Thank you, Goro. Yes, they're good memories to take out and look at now and
then.
Joy
Joy
news:IbydnYVwVM6i9DjZ...@texas.net...
Thanks, JD.
Joy
Joy
Yes, I'm fortunate to have so many good memories. I know wonderful people
who have never married, and others who have but whose experiences have not
been good.
Joy
"Bette" <bsc...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:1151691145.3...@h44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
Sue
What lovely memories, Joy. Thanks for sharing them with us.
sue
Stan
> had together.
>
> Joy
>
Stan(Happy Anniversary from Stan & Sue)
david
>
> My life would be very different if Jim had lived to celebrate our 50th
> anniversary, but I have made a good life for myself, and I am grateful
> for all that I have. I am even more grateful for the almost 30 years
> that we had together.
>
> Joy
>
>
beautiful, beautiful, joy... and i remember the lovely photos you put on
blog a few months ago of you as a young bride... quite a pretty catch, i'd
say... :)) you created a nice mental vision. i could see you and your
father approaching the altar, the sense of slight hesitation.. the intimate
reception... and the second reception. you obviously shared a loving
marriage. and i'm glad you have the wonderful memories... :)
--
_____
david
Norma
A lovely wedding, Joy. Thanks so much for letting us see it.
Norma
Arch (TX)
old geezer's eyes, but we do both have some fantastic memories of what was.
--
Arch (San Antonio, Texas)
My Photo Galleries:
http://www.pbase.com/aanzjr
Joy
news:4gl9d8F...@individual.net...
Thank you, Jean. Most of my memories now are pleasant rather than painful.
However, today just became a little more sad. I got home from a lovely
luncheon to honor volunteer drivers for the Cancer Society and found a
message on my answering machine, saying I should call the church because
there was some news I needed to know. I called and learned that one of our
most active and beloved members had died suddenly early this morning. He
and his wife repeated their vows in a 25th wedding anniversary celebration
just a few months ago.
Joy
Joy
news:2f76a$44a571f2$471c339c$15...@ALLTEL.NET...
Thank you, Sue.
Joy
Joy
news:3afde$44a57cf6$471c339c$18...@ALLTEL.NET...
Thank you, Stan.
Joy
mmj1
"Joy" <joyga...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:tudpg.161955$F_3....@newssvr29.news.prodigy.net...
mj
Joy
news:1151701140....@b68g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
Thank you, Norma.
Joy
Joy
news:Xns97F2AC60396...@130.133.1.4...
Thank you, david.
Joy
Joy
news:KNgpg.708$PE1...@newsread2.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> Beautiful Joy! God love and bless you. It brought a few tears to this
> old geezer's eyes, but we do both have some fantastic memories of what
was.
> --
> Arch (San Antonio, Texas)
Thank you, Arch. Yes, we do.
Joy
Joy
**Dalin**
wrote:
That was just beautiful Joy. Thanks for sharing it with us. I wish
Jim had lived too. But he would be proud that you went on and made a
good life I think. Though Jim is not here I'd like to wish you a
happy day, filled with good memories of the life you shared. I lift
my glass to celebrate the almost 30 years you did have.
Dalin
>
Jane Benn
Thank you for sharing this memory with us, Joy.
Since you're able, even though he is gone, to remember your life with Jim
with such good memories, I guess it's still appropriate to say:
Happy Anniversary!
--
Jane
Jean B.
I'm very sorry to hear that, Joy. What an emotionally
compicated day this has been for you.
<<<<<Joy>>>>>
--
Jean B.
Joy
news:44b5a399...@news.individual.net...
Thank you, Dalin.
I've had a 24-hour emotional roller coaster. I've been president of my
Toastmasters club for the past year. My term ends today. Last night at the
meeting I gave me "Farewell (as president) Address" and presented a bunch of
awards, some serious, some silly. Then they surprised me by giving me a
potted mum. I was quite touched.
This morning I wrote the description of our wedding and receptions for the
newsgroups, and later read all the nice comments about it.
At noon I went to a very nice luncheon given by the Cancer Society for
volunteer drivers. They gave us a bunch of stuff, including a scented
candle, a pad of post-it notes, and a list pad with a magnet on the back.
They also had a drawing, and I won a "healthy living" cookbook.
When I got home, there was a message to call the church, because there was
some news I needed to know about. When I called, I learned that one of the
special people, and hardest workers, in my church died early this morning.
I feel so sorry for his wife. She has battled brain cancer and various
other things. She's pretty healthy right now, but this has to be a terrible
blow. He had an angioplasty a few months ago, but seemed to be doing well.
He was watching something on TV when she went to bed last night. When she
woke up this morning, the TV was still on, and he was gone.
A little later, I went to see a very cute movie, with lots of laughs - just
what I needed. When I got home, I found a package from my sister. My
mother is giving away a lot of her things, and my sister is helping with
that. The package included "my" apron - an apron I made in my junior high
school cooking class. I saved it for years, then started keeping it at my
mother's place, so I could wear it when I helped in the kitchen. It's still
in good condition. That must have been really good fabric!
More important, there were some slides that were taken at our wedding.
There was also a small photo album that belonged to my grandmother. It had
some of my baby pictures and other family photos. The last picture in it
was one of our wedding, and tucked in with it was the newspaper announcement
of our engagement. How amazing that these things arrived today!
Joy
Joy
news:4glna3F...@individual.net...
Thank you, Jane.
Joy
Joy
**Dalin**
wrote:
It sure has been a roller coaster time for you. Such conflicting
emotions you must have felt. Sometimes you just have to take the time
to sit down and cry and laugh at the same time. And let all the
feelings wash over you and just go with them. Enjoy those baby
photos and your wedding photo and your engagement announcement.
Treasure them and rejoice that you had as many years with Jim as you
did.
Congratulations on winning the cookbook. :-) It's been really up and
down for you, your fantastic jump, memories of Jim.... I do hope it
all leaves you with a happy feeling in your heart.
Your church sounds like the members are very close and I'm sure they
will be very supportive to the wife who suddenly lost her husband.
Sheis fortunate to belong to a loving church as many people have no
one when they lose a loved one. In a way she is blessed.
Dalin
>
Sue
>
> It sure has been a roller coaster time for you. Such conflicting
> emotions you must have felt. Sometimes you just have to take the time
> to sit down and cry and laugh at the same time. And let all the
> feelings wash over you and just go with them. Enjoy those baby
> photos and your wedding photo and your engagement announcement.
> Treasure them and rejoice that you had as many years with Jim as you
> did.
>
> Congratulations on winning the cookbook. :-) It's been really up and
> down for you, your fantastic jump, memories of Jim.... I do hope it
> all leaves you with a happy feeling in your heart.
>
> Your church sounds like the members are very close and I'm sure they
> will be very supportive to the wife who suddenly lost her husband.
> Sheis fortunate to belong to a loving church as many people have no
> one when they lose a loved one. In a way she is blessed.
>
> Dalin
Joy has spoken about her church many times before. And I think I have
mentioned that if I had a church like hers......I probably would still be
attending.
Oh well.
sue
Joy
Yes, I'll enjoy them, even if a few tears to accompany them.
I had forgotten to mention Lindy. I took her in for her shots on Thursday
afternoon. The vet said she's pretty healthy for a 12-year-old cat, but she
does have some tartar and gingivitis, so she'll need some dental work. The
shots, checkup and pre-dental work blood tests cost $265. I have no idea
what the dental work will cost. Then, Thursday evening and Friday morning,
Lindy's lethargic behavior and disinterest in food was very disconcerting,
even though I'd warned that might be a reaction to her shots. It was, and
she was fine by yesterday evening, but that added to the roller coaster
effect.
> Congratulations on winning the cookbook. :-) It's been really up and
> down for you, your fantastic jump, memories of Jim.... I do hope it
> all leaves you with a happy feeling in your heart.
Yes, the good memories definitely outweight the not-so-good ones.
> Your church sounds like the members are very close and I'm sure they
> will be very supportive to the wife who suddenly lost her husband.
> Sheis fortunate to belong to a loving church as many people have no
> one when they lose a loved one. In a way she is blessed.
>
> Dalin
It's true, our church is very close, like an extended family. Several
members went to her home as soon as they heard the news, and she's being
well looked after.
Joy