Thanksgiving over, now TRUTH!
JD Cooper
I post an excerpt from the San Antonio Depress news as of 27 November,
2003:
"...the prevailing point of view is that turkeys are, well, stupid.
Dumb as a fence post. Playing without a full deck. Elevator doesn't ride
to the top.. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. A few bricks short of
a load. Rude words for a bird Benjamin Franklin preferred as as
America's national symbol instead of the Bald Eagle..."
Now the truth from old JD Cooper about Turkeys:
They honestly deserve to die and get eaten!
OK! OK! OK! Y'all don't get all hyper on me! I have real life experience
with them and I know truth!
Long ago I hunted Turkeys and found them to be somewhat crafty and
semi-quick to the wing but their 20 pound bodies ain't exactly like tiny
quail, ya know? Huge Turkeys are quick but HUGE but Quail are small and
swift! Bang! Bang! The turkeys fall to the shotgun! No problem!
Turkeys are good hunting and that is why the early "pilgrims" ate them.
Those were wild Turkeys BUT we must now consider domestic turkeys....
...let us fast forward to the times in which we live: I raised Turkeys
for awhile. I will be the first person to tell you that they WILL drown
in rain if the look up! They WILL! I have "been there and done that"!
They will die of heart attacks if sudden lighting strikes! They are
unbelievably stupid!!!
I also will tell you that they will hit an electric fence and NEVER
learn the lesson! You can save the turkey from the fence from now until
eternity and it will NEVER learn about the fence! It will go back to
that electric fence *forever" and not learn that it the fence is evil!
I gotta tell ya that I have also had countless Chickens that everyone
considers to be very stupid, but I ASSURE you that every single hen I
have ever had "learned" about the electric fence but not ONE Turkey
ever, ever, ever did! After a few "tries" the Chickens learned but the
Turkeys never, ever did!
NEVER!
That is why I tell y'all that the proper place for a Turkey is on the
platter all cooked and PROPERLY DEAD.
They truthfully are:
"THAT STUPID"!
I know! I have ben there and done that!
Chickens are Yale graduates compared to Turkeys. Trust me on this one.
:-)
JD
DittyDu...@webtv.net
all goes along with what my grandmother used to tell me. During WWII,
my mother raised a few chickens on the back lot so we could have meat on
Sunday. A lot of that raisin' was my job, and I got to sort of like
chickens. Then I got the bright idea that turkeys would be better
eatin'. Well, my grandmother told me right away, that was a ba-a-ad
idea. So I never tried turkeys, though I could have had some turkey
eggs from a farm girl who was one of my mother's students. My
grandmother said turkeys were so dumb that if you said "Boo!" to them,
they would fall over and die. She said if the rooster crowed in the
same yard with them, they would be upset. She said they wouldn't get
along with the chickens, either; though I''ve been told different since
then. My ex sort of liked Wild Turkey, though.
Blake
-----------------------
JD Cooper
> JD, I believe every word you said about turkeys is the gospel truth. It
> all goes along with what my grandmother used to tell me. During WWII,
> my mother raised a few chickens on the back lot so we could have meat on
> Sunday. A lot of that raisin' was my job, and I got to sort of like
> chickens. Then I got the bright idea that turkeys would be better
> eatin'. Well, my grandmother told me right away, that was a ba-a-ad
> idea. So I never tried turkeys, though I could have had some turkey
> eggs from a farm girl who was one of my mother's students. My
> grandmother said turkeys were so dumb that if you said "Boo!" to them,
> they would fall over and die. She said if the rooster crowed in the
> same yard with them, they would be upset. She said they wouldn't get
> along with the chickens, either; though I''ve been told different since
> then. My ex sort of liked Wild Turkey, though.
> Blake
I tell the truth that when I raised Turkeys (way back when) that they
were the dumbest goddam things alive! I had good authority way back then
that if you wished to raise a hundred Turkeys the you needed to hatch a
minimum of three hundred eggs. (This is not unlike raising Guinea fowl)
It was absolutely true unless you had extra heavy duty pens and barns!
I did not hatch eggs because I had no equipment to do so. I simply
ordered some poults via mail the same way I ordered chickens. I orderd
far more than I wished to harvest and it worked out fairly well, indeed!
Setting aside all the misery of that (those) experience (experiences),
please allow me to express that I was raising what are known as
"heritage" turkeys and those that lived to slaughter tasted so much
differently than do the modern wide breasted store bought frozen
hybrids. There has often been the time that I have stupidly considered
trying it again and want to very much.
But then we have so many Coyotes and Hawks and Eagles and other such
predatory critters here that we can no longer even have little hens
roaming about the yard. I miss the days I could walk across the yard
barefoot and step in chicken shit and feeling it squish-up 'tween my toes.
No! WAIT!!! I don't miss that at all!! hahahaha!
But I sure do miss the taste of real live un-steroided Turkey.
JD
NHunkele
I've only eaten wild turkey once but the flavor was unbelievably good! We had
wild turkeys strolling across the meadow behnd our house in Westfiled. They
could run fast when startled by something moving but otherwise weren't all that
bright. I fired at one and missed with the first shot and they stood there
looking around to see where the noise came from! When they bred them for
breast meat I think they bred out what little brains they have.
Norma
Yoj
news:PeWdnTvvE4D...@texas.net...
I have no trouble at all in believing this, JD. My parents raised
turkeys briefly, and they had similar stories to tell.
Joy
DittyDu...@webtv.net
taste as good. And the eggs nowadays don't taste much good, either. My
daughter is able to get milk from not on that harmone stuff cows, and
it tastes so good -- like milk used to taste.
Did I say that my grandmother told the story about the turkeys looking
up and drowning in the rain, too?
My mother used to get the chicks from a hatchery and keep them in a big
cardboard carton with a light til the weather warmed. But we had
"settin' hens sometimes. It was hard to break them up. My grandmother
got me some guinea eggs once, to put under one of those hens. Their
"potrack, potrack, potrack" had all the neighbors up in arms after
while. I didn't think it was any more annoyin' than the upwind neighbor
who raised pansies in his vacant lot, and filled the beds with manure
during the spring. We lived on the fringe edge of the city, back then,
just two blocks inside. The local ward heeler used to come around and
tell my mother how to vote (for Mr. Crump, of course) and she would make
sure he sat on the porch next to the pansy beds. He never said a word
about it, though.
Some neighbor over on the next block has a rooster, now, I hear. My SIL
says it is probly being saved for some kind of voodoo, but if so, it is
working. It makes me wish I had a little bantam rooster, sometimes, to
clean up the bugs.
Yes, I guess a turkey pen would act like a magnet where you live.
Coyotes are smarter than turkeys. <G>
Blake
---------------
A.Turkey
> Now the truth from old JD Cooper about Turkeys:
>
> They honestly deserve to die and get eaten!
Oh that's very nice. Very friendly.
> Chickens are Yale graduates compared to Turkeys. Trust me on this one.
Now admit it Mr Turkey Killer (Murderer) all this stuff about chickens and
turkeys is just a sop to your conscience cos you prefer the taste of
turkey to chicken. And ya get more meat per hoof.
Yer chicken may have more smarts than my brothers and me (questionable,
but we'll let it pass)but chickens are devious mean nasty horrible things
that'll sell their granny for a bucket of corn. You caint never trust a
chicken. They'll peck yer ankle soon as ya feed 'em.
Turkeys are honest, loving, loyal. They'll stay in nights and look after
yer kids while you go out barn dancing (or whatever it is you guys do for
fun)
Most of all though Mr Turkey Genocide Advocating Human Chicken Lover, when
one of us masters which way round to hold a shotgun, he never misses.
And we know where you live.
AT.<generally at peace with the world this soon after Thanksgiving>
Toddy
"A.Turkey" <bi...@risk.co.usa> wrote in message
news:pan.2003.11.29...@risk.co.usa...
Bob Shirk
warning never to go near the turkeys I walked up to old tom that was
strutting looking important while he supervised his hens. He was in
full display as I got close and looked him right in the eye -- I could
do that as he and I were about the same height. A second after I turned
away I found myself down in the dirt amid a cloud of dust with him
standing over me beating me half to death with his wings. I don't
remember if it was my screaming or his frenzied gobbling that brought my
aunt on the run with her ever present broom. She swept that turkey off,
me and for good measure gave me a couple of whacks as well for
disobeying her. Since then I have always avoided turkeys except when
armed while hunting them. Bob.
david
which stated...
> She swept that turkey off,
> me and for good measure gave me a couple of whacks as well for
> disobeying her. Since then I have always avoided turkeys except when
> armed while hunting them. Bob.
>
>
well, bob,
probably one of the reasons you've celebrated a bunch of birthdays is that
you paid attention when your aunt whacked you... :-)) i admit, i never
would have guessed a turkey would attack... but then again, there's always
room on this earth for "attack turkeys"... they're certainly an
alternative to having an attack dog. at least with an attack turkey, if the
need disappears, you can always have a nice dinner... :-))
david
--
_______________________________________
david dsk...@usa.net
Yoj
eating them? ;-)
Joy
"Bob Shirk" <bobs...@tds.net> wrote in message
news:3fc90...@newspeer2.tds.net...
Jean B.
Thanks, for the insight into a turkey's mind (if you can call it
that), JD. BTW, we have a lot of wild turkeys around here. First
started seeing them maybe 2-3 years ago.
--
Jean B.
Jean B.
>
> The worst beating I ever got in my life was when, despite my aunt's
> warning never to go near the turkeys I walked up to old tom that was
> strutting looking important while he supervised his hens. He was in
> full display as I got close and looked him right in the eye -- I could
> do that as he and I were about the same height. A second after I turned
> away I found myself down in the dirt amid a cloud of dust with him
> standing over me beating me half to death with his wings. I don't
> remember if it was my screaming or his frenzied gobbling that brought my
> aunt on the run with her ever present broom. She swept that turkey off,
> me and for good measure gave me a couple of whacks as well for
> disobeying her. Since then I have always avoided turkeys except when
> armed while hunting them. Bob.
>
LOL! I have been chased by dogs, rams, and geese, but I have
never even heard of anyone being beaten up by a turkey! (Of
course, it wasn't funny at the time, but it sure makes funny
reading this far after the fact.)
--
Jean B.
JD Cooper
> The worst beating I ever got in my life was when, despite my aunt's
> warning never to go near the turkeys I walked up to old tom that was
> strutting looking important while he supervised his hens. He was in
> full display as I got close and looked him right in the eye -- I could
> do that as he and I were about the same height. A second after I turned
> away I found myself down in the dirt amid a cloud of dust with him
> standing over me beating me half to death with his wings. I don't
> remember if it was my screaming or his frenzied gobbling that brought my
> aunt on the run with her ever present broom. She swept that turkey off,
> me and for good measure gave me a couple of whacks as well for
> disobeying her. Since then I have always avoided turkeys except when
> armed while hunting them. Bob.
hahaha! Been there and done that (attacked by Toms) but the worst fowl
in the world are Geese! They are absolutely the meanest imaginable birds
on earth!
:-)
JD
JD Cooper
JD
NHunkele
>Bob Shirk wrote:
>
>> The worst beating I ever got in my life was when, despite my aunt's
>> warning never to go near the turkeys I walked up to old tom that was
>> strutting looking important while he supervised his hens. He was in
>> full display as I got close and looked him right in the eye -- I could
>> do that as he and I were about the same height. A second after I turned
>> away I found myself down in the dirt amid a cloud of dust with him
>> standing over me beating me half to death with his wings. I don't
>> remember if it was my screaming or his frenzied gobbling that brought my
>> aunt on the run with her ever present broom. She swept that turkey off,
>> me and for good measure gave me a couple of whacks as well for
>> disobeying her. Since then I have always avoided turkeys except when
>> armed while hunting them. Bob.
>
>hahaha! Been there and done that (attacked by Toms) but the worst fowl
>in the world are Geese! They are absolutely the meanest imaginable birds
>on earth!
>
>:-)
>
>JD
Many years ago, when our bous were small, we went to visit a friend who was a
NY State Park Ranger. He and his wife had some geese in a pen and the boys
started running over to pet them. I grabbed them to stop them and the Ranger's
wife said, "Let them go. The geese won't bother them." I"m thinking , "Oh,
Sure!". but let them go and they petted the geese with narry a hiss or bite.
Then the Ranger's wife said, "These geese won't go after people. I've whomped
every one of them in the head at least once and they learned real early not to
annoy people." So maybe geese can be trained but those were the only geese I
ever saw that didn't attack.
Norma
DittyDu...@webtv.net
snakes are supposed to hiss. Formidable opponants. I always retreated.
I have seen flocks of them in the cotton fields, going down the rows
chopping the cotton.
Blake
------------------
Bob Shirk
introduction to them. I was extremely cautious and even so was glad
that I could run a lot faster. I understand that swans are also mean
critters but have no first hand knowledge of that. Bob.
Arch(TX)
out in the rain with their heads straight up and mouths open.....and drown!
And mean? I had a pet tom. He was huge and was very nice around us but he would
not let a salesman in the yard. Honestly, he would chase anybody or anything
out of "his" yard, except us. I guess he considered us friends too. LOL
david wrote:
--
Arch
San Antonio, Texas
Yoj
news:20031129222557...@mb-m15.aol.com...
My grandparents raised four geese, who had free run of the farm. My
brother, who was probably 11 or 12 at the time, spent several weeks
there, and made friends with the geese. They never attacked him. He
was terribly upset when we went to bring him home, and my grandmother
cooked one of the geese for dinner. He wouldn't eat any.
He was attacked by a rooster once, though - not on the farm, but at a
neighbor's house.
Joy
Michael Fanner
> <speechless>
Hope I haven't caused anything permanent JD. <g>
--
Mick.
DittyDu...@webtv.net
I now forget. It didn't live in the chickenyard with the other chickens
-- maybe because they pecked it. It was a little smaller than the rest
of the fryers.. It lived in the backyard in front of the picket fence,
and came to the back door to be fed. Well, one day, the neighbor's dog
got loose and killed it. My mother shoo'ed him away. The chicken
wasn't hurt much, so she chopped offf its head and decided to cook it
and not tell us. However, we missed the chicken and figured out why we
were having chicken and it wasn't Sunday. (This was during WWII, when
meat was rationed.) Neither of us could eat it.
Blake
mj
OK, I believe you. Even so, I still won't serve turkey on a platter with a
turkey design. I don't want to be on a familiar basis with anything I eat.
mj