The Wrong Figures
Valkyrie
When I was nineteen, I thought that I knew exactly what I wanted to do
with my life. I was engaged to a twenty-one-year-old young man, whom I
had been dating for over three years; and we were planning a wedding. We
truly loved each other.
Then doubts began to wiggle their way into my thinking, and I started to
wonder if I were making the right decision. A college scholarship was
available, if I wanted to apply for it. I was a good student, ranking in
the upper ten percent of my senior class. I had half-heartedly considered
pursuing a career in the fields of art or writing. I possessed a measure
of talent in both areas, but I had lacked incentive to really work at
either of them. And that's where the doubts began.
Without telling my fiancé, I struggled for weeks with my dilemma. I knew
that I could not go away to college and still get married. I also knew
that my heart belonged to him, would always belong to him. I tried to
count the cost of both losses, tried to project what my life would be
like in both scenarios. I was in a quagmire of indecision.
Late one night, as I tossed and turned, I heard my dad cough lightly from
the next room. He was only thirty-nine; but he was very ill with lupus,
and had many sleepless, pain-filled nights.
"Dad, is Mom asleep?" I called softly.
"Yes," he answered.
"Daddy, I have a problem," I told him. For a long time, there was no
answer; and I thought that he had fallen asleep. He was a man of few
words, at best. So I resigned myself to receiving no help from that
quarter.
"Maybe you're using the wrong figures."
When his answer floated gently into my room, it was as if a cartoon light
bulb appeared over my head. How simple my father had made it. All I had
to do was eliminate one set of figures from the equation, and my problem
was solved!
A few weeks later I married my young man. And, no, it hasn't always been
a "happily-ever-after" fairy tale existence. It has been, however, a life
filled with love, even in the midst of "dislike" for each other. Untold
riches have been mine, through the lives of my daughter and my son, and
now through the lives of their children.
Down all the years, I have used my "talents" in art projects for my
children, both at school and church, as a means to decorate my own house
and houses of friends and relatives with my own oil paintings, and my
years of association with a writer's roundtable, both with writing
content and designing covers for our books. I have finally seen another
of my dreams materialize in the form of my first book, which will be
released in May, 2003.
My young dad died just two short years after giving me the words I needed
to make the correct choice for my life. My daughter, the only grandchild
he would ever hold, was only seven months old when he died.
I wish my dad could know how often I have used his one-line philosophy. I
have discovered that, usually, when confronted with a choice or problem
or dilemma, the easiest solution is simply to delete one set of "figures"
from the equation.
It works for me!
Barbara Elliott Carpenter
Barbara Elliott Carpenter resides in Illinois with her husband, Glenn, to
whom she has been married for forty-four years. An avid reader and writer,
Barbara's first novel, "Starlight, Starbright" was released in April; and
the sequel, "I Wish I May, I Wish I Might" will be released next year.
Many of her poems and short stories have won awards. You can reach her
at bjlo...@sbcglobal.net and her website is www.bec.newsmoose.com
--
Hilda
Well-behaved women rarely make history.
"We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule
our lives from within."
Earl Nightingale
1921-1989, Philosopher and Syndicated Radio Personality
Toddy
boy friend told me I was on the rebound and making a terrible mistake.
At the time I was confused and worried.... could he be right ?
I went home to Mum<g> and talked to her, she asked me one question.........
"Do you think you could live without Peter for the rest of your life?"
Problem solved... I had lived without David for a while, so I obviously
didn't need him, or vice versa.
Life without Peter seemed to be an intolerable thought....it still is.
He died 8 years ago on the 11th July.
Toddy
"Valkyrie" <hi...@britainandeurope-on-line.com.au> wrote in message
news:on3Qa.2478$wU5...@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
DAE
I guess it is too Toddy. Time doesn't seem to heal some things does it? My
best to you and your memories of Peter.
Don
"Toddy" <tod...@q-net.net.au> wrote in message
news:beqhd3$7mcfr$1...@ID-32583.news.uni-berlin.de...
Bette
>From: "Toddy"
>"Do you think you could live without Peter for the rest of your life?"
>Problem solved...
Smart advice..>
Life without Peter seemed to be an intolerable thought....it still is.
>He died 8 years ago on the 11th July.
Always a bitter sweet aniversary..
Keep the happy memories foremost in your mind. Hugs, Bette
Toddy
Toddy
"DAE" <d.e...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:EV3Qa.47901$Ph3.3700@sccrnsc04...
Toddy
I do keep the best to remember :-)
Toddy
"Bette" <bsc...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20030712231716...@mb-m13.aol.com...
Arch(TX)
the loss of a loved one harder than women. The reason the article
said was that men expected to die first. I had always felt that
way...one dangerous career after another but it didn't work out
that way. I really feel that both men and women feel the same
sorrow for their loss and share the fond memories.
God bless you Toddy.
--
Arch
San Antonio, Texas
Toddy
Thank you :-)
I don't think it matters whether you are male or female, the loss is the
same.
This is a special place in which it is safe to share one's memories and
sadness, isn't it ?
Bless you too Arch.
Toddy
"Arch(TX)" <aan...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:3F10E56C...@earthlink.net...
MAEVE56
<tod...@q-net.net.au>a écrit :
>After I announced my engagement to Peter a previous long standing (3years)
>boy friend told me I was on the rebound and making a terrible mistake.
>At the time I was confused and worried.... could he be right ?
>I went home to Mum<g> and talked to her, she asked me one question.........
>"Do you think you could live without Peter for the rest of your life?"
>Problem solved... I had lived without David for a while, so I obviously
>didn't need him, or vice versa.
>Life without Peter seemed to be an intolerable thought....it still is.
>He died 8 years ago on the 11th July.
>Toddy
>
>(((((((((((((((((TODDY-ANNIE ))))))))))))))))))..maeve
Clouddancer
about Peter. It was at the very moment I just knew in life I too one day
soon would be like her a widow. I remember Toddy's words "I hope for you
it's not for a very long time". Things happen. Life takes turns one never
expects. One must remember mourning is different for everyone. Take your
time don't let others try to tell you what your life should be. It's for
you to decide when the time is right. Life does move on. Yes one does miss
their loved ones but in our thoughts and happy memories they still are very
close and not so far away. For me it will soon be 2 years and at times it
seems like a lifetime ago.
Clouddancer
"Arch(TX)" <aan...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:3F10E56C...@earthlink.net...
Toddy
(((((hugs))))) for you too :-)
Toddy
"MAEVE56" <mae...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20030713022458...@mb-m20.aol.com...
Jean B.
>
> After I announced my engagement to Peter a previous long standing (3years)
> boy friend told me I was on the rebound and making a terrible mistake.
> At the time I was confused and worried.... could he be right ?
> I went home to Mum<g> and talked to her, she asked me one question.........
> "Do you think you could live without Peter for the rest of your life?"
> Problem solved... I had lived without David for a while, so I obviously
> didn't need him, or vice versa.
> Life without Peter seemed to be an intolerable thought....it still is.
> He died 8 years ago on the 11th July.
> Toddy
>
that he was taken from you, and from this world, so prematurely.
<<<<<<<<<<Toddy>>>>>>>>>>
--
Jean B., 12 miles west of Boston, Massachusetts, USA
Toddy
Also, you never know what is around the next corner.... cherish the time you
have together.
Toddy
"Clouddancer" <lite...@sprynet.com> wrote in message
news:ber0vi$8ti$1...@slb0.atl.mindspring.net...
Toddy
It has been a quiet weekend.
Toddy
"Jean B." <jb...@rcn.com> wrote in message news:3F113660...@rcn.com...
coby
Coby
"Toddy" <tod...@q-net.net.au> schreef in bericht
news:berl9c$8bnoh$1...@ID-32583.news.uni-berlin.de...
Toddy
Toddy
"coby" <l.wo...@chello.nl> wrote in message
news:betu8i$8qvie$1...@ID-52776.news.uni-berlin.de...