Raising your Child to be a Muslim

[Almuslim]

It is true that the first learning center for a child is the mother’s
lap.
The mannerisms of the parents are reflected in the children.
The story of Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jeelani <http://www.almuslim.com.au/>
(May
Allah have mercy on him) is famous: When he was traveling with a
caravan, a
gang of dacoits raided the caravan. When they came to check Sheikh
Abdul
Qadir Jeelani (May Allah have mercy on him), an eighteen year old
young man,
the dacoits inquired if he had any valuables. He told them about the
gold
coins which had been stitched into his clothes by his mother. The
dacoits
asked him why he let them know of the hidden money, to which he
replied that
his mother had advised him to “never lie”. Upon this the dacoits
become
ashamed and repented to Allah.
It is the duty of parents to be an example to their children and
advise
them. Allah (the Supreme) tells us of the advice that Syedna Luqman
gave to
his son:-
*“And remember when Luqman said to his son, and he used to advise him,
“O my
son! Never ascribe anything as a partner to Allah; indeed ascribing
partners
to Him is a tremendous injustice.” [Luqman 31:13]*
Then after some verses, the advice continues:-
*“O my son! If the evil deed is equal to the weight of a mustard-seed,
and
even if it is in a rock, or in the heavens, or wherever in the earth,
Allah
will bring it forth; indeed Allah knows all the minutest things, the
All
Aware. O my son! Keep the prayer established, and enjoin goodness and
forbid
from evil, and be patient upon the calamity that befalls you; indeed
these
are acts of great courage. And do not contort your cheek while talking
to
anyone, nor boastfully walk upon the earth; indeed Allah does not like
any
boastful, haughty person. And walk moderately and soften your voice;
indeed
the worst voice is the voice of the donkey.” [Luqman 31:16-19]*
We can recall not too long ago in our Muslim
culture<http://www.786travel.com.au/>that all grown-ups in the
community would take the role of guides for the
youth. No child dared to misbehave in front of elders in any
gathering. All
the elders held enough authority that they could discipline the child
without having to face the wrath of the parents as is the case today.
As a
result, children tend to misbehave and disrespect elders because they
no
longer fear being disciplined by anyone besides their parents, and
that too
is seen little.
Parents realize it too late - that what they thought was giving
‘freedom’ to
their children was in fact destroying them. Being affectionate to
your
children is one thing but to let them to do anything as they wish, is
not
affection - rather it is harmful for the child. This is the result of
the
parents’ forgetting their duty of teaching the child. More often the
television takes the place of the parent and it is from here the child
gains
much of his/her ill-mannerisms. Let these words be a reminder and a
word of
caution.
When children are able to speak a little, teach them the name of
Allah.
Before, mothers would put their children to sleep by chanting “Allah
–
Allah”, <http://www.eagletravel.com.au/> but now it is by shamefully
playing
the music on the radio!
When children are mature do not do anything in front them which will
ruin
their mannerisms because they tend to copy these acts. They do
whatever they
see their parents doing. Never argue with your spouse in front of
them
because this puts a lot of stress on children and causes them to think
that
they are the cause of the argument. Never curse your children.
Offer the Prayers in front of them, recite Quran<http://
www.oliveweb.com.au/>,
take them to the mosque with you, and tell them stories of our pious
predecessors as they like to listen to stories very much. Hearing
stories
with lessons and morals will increase their good habits. When they are
a
little older, teach them the Five Declarations (Kalemat), Concise
Faith
(Imane Mujmal), Detailed faith (Imane Mufassal), and then teach them
how to
offer Prayers (Salah).
Put them under the guidance of an Allah-fearing, pious scholar (Aalim)
or
Qur’an Memorizer (Hafiz) – definitely holding right beliefs & from
creed of
Ahle Sunnah - to acquire the knowledge of Islam & the Holy Qur’an – so
they
can know more of the beautiful religion to which they belong. Teach
them the
rules & practices of bathing, ablution & prayer.
If Allah gives you proper guidance, try to make your children Islamic
Scholars or Memorizers of the Holy Qur’an. A Memorizer (Hafiz) will
get
three generations forgiven and a Scholar (Aalim) will get seven
generations
forgiven (on the Day of Judgment). It is baseless to think that a
scholar
has no source of livelihood. Know that one does not earn more than
what is
destined by acquiring worldly knowledge; one will get only what the
Almighty
Provider (Razzaq) has written for him.
Teach <http://www.paktimes.com.au/> your children simplicity and do
not
expose them to materialism. Teach them the value of doing their own
work.
Send them to college, make them judges, make them doctors or to adopt
any
successful and halal career in this world - but make them such that
they
carry on these professions as honest Muslims who know their religion.