Laugh for the Day
Elizabeth Falkner
I had to go to the INS (Immigration and Naturalization Services) Office
in Tampa to register my son as an American citizen (born in Canada to
U.S. parents).
One must go through a metal detector to enter the building. I took off
my watch and Medi-Alert bracelet. I put coins, keys, and my (blunt)
paper scissors in the tray. I walked through the detector. It LOUDLY
went off.
Bit by bit, I put the contents of my purse in the tray. No luck;
something in my bag still set the detector off. It took about 20 tries
to locate the culprit.
It was my lipstick brush.
Granny Elizabeth
DALLAS4419
uh oh....armed with a deadly weapon!!
lisa in dallas
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<A
HREF="http://www.beautycafe.com/altfashion.htm">www.beautycafe.com/altfash
ion</A>
altfashions special ordering page...type in "altfashion"
Sandra194
>
Reminds me of the time the clasp on my bra set off a hand-held body search
thingy. The airport security kept going over my body with it and when she found
out that it was my bra, she kept tapping me in the back near my bra clasp and
making the darn thing beep!!
How embarasing.
Sandra in NC
"Well, this day was a total waste of make-up."
joolz
Granny E! you're back! yay!!!
great story, by the way. :)
joolz
Elizabeth Falkner <falk...@home.com> wrote in article
<371B18CA...@home.com>...
nissa
> I walked through the detector. It LOUDLY
> went off.
>
<laughing> well, you can really hurt someone with one of those, you know!
Ever accidentally leaned forward into the mirror too fast and smeared
long-lasting lipstick all over your cheeck? SCARY! Or, it could be
painfully jammed into one's gums with a swift elbow push from behind
during application... *ouch*
-nmarion, speaking from experience..
N. Marion | nma...@ibm.net | Ottawa, Canada
"Someday I would like to be able to stand on the moon,
gaze through a quarter of a million miles of space, and think,
There certainly is a beautiful Earth out tonight." --Anonymous
AJ
at an airport the guard looked very puzzled, pulled something
out and said, with some concern, What is this?
It was the Stila travel brushes.
--AJ
nissa wrote in message ...
mya...@my-dejanews.com
"AJ" <a...@icarus.com> wrote:
> Once when mt handbag went through the x-ray machine
> at an airport the guard looked very puzzled, pulled something
> out and said, with some concern, What is this?
>
> It was the Stila travel brushes.
>
> --AJ
I had a very similar experience when I was travelling back to Asia, at the
customs in Vancouver, they had me unroll my brush roll and the customs lady
just looked at me with this astonished look, as if she can't believe anyone
would carry brushes this way, or have so many and whatever. It was kinda
funny ...
May
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----------
>Once when mt handbag went through the x-ray machine
>at an airport the guard looked very puzzled, pulled something
>out and said, with some concern, What is this?
>
>It was the Stila travel brushes.
>
>--AJ
You know those Px 12 packs of mini-lippies. In the x-rays, they look like
bullet cartridges. I was stopped and my bag searched.
Regards,
Ranee
When the facts are on your side, argue the facts.
When the law is on your side, argue the law.
When neither is on your side, bang the table and insult your opponents.
Joel Weber
carry-on bag and then dragged the now 200 pound bag through the x-ray.
"Hold it," the guard said as he viewed the outlines of the things. "What is
that?"
"It's stone fruit," I answered honestly and innocently.
"Open it up."
He pulled out a stone pear. Then a plum.
"Damn, it is. Must be awful hard to digest."
"Only slighter harder than mom's cooking," I said.
For those of you who have never run across stone fruit. It's often used by
artists working on still life paintings and it can make a neat decoration.
It's very lifelike.
joel
The Ultimate Fashion Quiz-- You can still try it but you won't win any
Semi-Valuable Prizes
http://www.designervintage.com
----------
In article <7ffi7h$kdg$1...@bgtnsc02.worldnet.att.net>, "AJ" <a...@icarus.com>
wrote:
>Once when mt handbag went through the x-ray machine
>at an airport the guard looked very puzzled, pulled something
>out and said, with some concern, What is this?
>
>It was the Stila travel brushes.
>
>--AJ
Colin O'Brien
I'm used to this "getting stopped at customs" thing. Having an Irish
passport and a face customs officers seem to notice, I get stopped just
about every time I go through customs into the UK (from Belgium).
Once, when they were searching my bag they came across this solid shampoo
bar I had with me (lush-style) and took it away to check it wasn't some
kind of explosive... I couldn't believe it.
At the same time, the poor friend who was travelling with me got searched
too, of course. He has what you would call a "beer belly" .. well the
customs officer pointed very seriously at his stomach and said "what are
you hiding there?" You can imagine his face when my friend pulled up his
jumper :-)
Colin
In article <7ffrts$nrp$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, mya...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
> > Once when mt handbag went through the x-ray machine
> > at an airport the guard looked very puzzled, pulled something
> > out and said, with some concern, What is this?
> >
> > It was the Stila travel brushes.
> >
> > --AJ
>
Tom
>
> Once when my handbag went through the x-ray machine at an airport the
> guard looked very puzzled, pulled something out and said, with some
> concern, What is this?
>
> It was the Stila travel brushes.
This was told to me as a true story:
There's a woman in my wife's yoga class who does faith healing on the side.
She was in Florida for a conference last Winter and picked up some crystal
wands (at least, that's how she described them) for healing purposes. When
she got to the airport, they set off the detectors. The guard, examining
her luggage in some private area, found the wands in her luggage & wanted
to know what they were; so she told him.
He looked them over...& then said that he suffered from lower back pain &
asked whether she could help him!!
"I can't do anything in just five minutes," she told him.
"That's okay; your flight doesn't leave for half an hour & your seat's
confirmed."
So she gave him a healing session then & there! And some advice on how
to avoid back pains (which IMHO was the part of the healing that probably
actually worked...but then I'm a skeptic).
Tom Parsons
--
-- There is no nonsense so gross that society
t...@panix.com | will not, at some time, make a doctrine
| of it and defend it with every weapon of
http://www.panix.com/~twp | communal stupidity. --Robertson Davies
KAOSLO1
(Sandra194) writes:
>
>Reminds me of the time the clasp on my bra set off a hand-held body search
>thingy.
This happened to a guy I was dating once. (no, he wasn't wearing a bra. )
They were waving the wand over him and the thing kept beeping. After taking
ever metal thing off we realized it was the metal rod in his leg. He had a car
accident years previous and there was a 12" metal rod in his thigh. The guy
thought we were nuts for laughing, but it was damn funny.
April
http://members.aol.com/KAOSLO1
KAO...@aol.com
"The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come again." --Fortune
Cookie
Joel Weber
very young female customs agent. We were driving a new BMW. I had my beard
and hair down to my butt and was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans.
I thought we were going to be strip searched. She was very thorough in
Mary's cosmetics bag and seemed disappointed that substance in the Tylanol
bottle was Tylanol and the loose powder in a compact was only loose powder.
I hate to disappoint the guvment.
joel
The Ultimate Fashion Quiz-- You can still try it but you won't win any
Semi-Valuable Prizes
http://www.designervintage.com
----------
In article <colin-19049...@10.0.0.3>, co...@onepointzero.com (Colin
O'Brien) wrote:
>
>I'm used to this "getting stopped at customs" thing. Having an Irish
>passport and a face customs officers seem to notice, I get stopped just
>about every time I go through customs into the UK (from Belgium).
>
>Once, when they were searching my bag they came across this solid shampoo
>bar I had with me (lush-style) and took it away to check it wasn't some
>kind of explosive... I couldn't believe it.
>
>At the same time, the poor friend who was travelling with me got searched
>too, of course. He has what you would call a "beer belly" .. well the
>customs officer pointed very seriously at his stomach and said "what are
>you hiding there?" You can imagine his face when my friend pulled up his
>jumper :-)
>
>
>Colin
>
>
>In article <7ffrts$nrp$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, mya...@my-dejanews.com wrote:
>
>> > Once when mt handbag went through the x-ray machine
>> > at an airport the guard looked very puzzled, pulled something
>> > out and said, with some concern, What is this?
>> >
>> > It was the Stila travel brushes.
>> >
Michele317
I thought we were going to be strip searched. She was very thorough in
Mary's cosmetics bag and seemed disappointed that substance in the Tylanol
bottle was Tylanol and the loose powder in a compact was only loose powder. >>
my ex's non-english speaking mother came to visit from morocco, with half a
suitcase full of henna for me in my redhead days... customs took it all, since
she couldn't explain what those sacks of green powder were!
Carla J. Montori
>>
>They were waving the wand over him and the thing kept beeping. After taking
>ever metal thing off we realized it was the metal rod in his leg.
My father has two false hips and two false heads of his femurs (the
ball that goes into the hip socket); the femurs are steel. He travels
with a letter from his surgeon explaining it is his body that sets off
all the alarms.