[Fanfic] Being Anthy--- Adolescence Mokushiroku Edition / Part 1
wonkycyber and his Gekigan Swordo
'Me, Myself, and Anthy.' I plan on doing part two, releasing that, doing a
special edition of Part I and II together, THEN I'll work on the series. ^^;;
Enjoy, please. And comment on it, dammit! Remember, line-by-line comments,
Onsenmark style, are your friends. ^_^ And if it sucks, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY SO
I CAN REMEDY IT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
Those unfamiliar with 'Being Anthy' should check with it on Deja. It may or may
not be worth the search, but some people like it, so I'm gonna keep doing it.
OK. Enjoy, please. The Adolescence Mokushiroku Edition of the comedy
fanspamfic, Being Anthy Himemiya... *drumroll please...*
"Under the signs of love, courage, and hope, a Revolution will fail.
But if it is called by the Darkness..."
Shoujo Kakkumei Utena
"Being Anthy Himemiya"
ADOLESCENCE MOKUSHIROKU EDITION
"Me, Myself, and Anthy" Part I
[Scene: Black Rose Elevator. Mamiyanthy is seen pouting, screaming at
unseen voices.]
Mamiyanthy: Dammit... it's not fair... NOT FAIR! This is a sellout I say, a
sellout! The entire 'Being Anthy' theme is absent from this movie... it's going
by brand name... brand name! They slap the name of 'Being Anthy' on something,
and everyone shuns it like it was 'Being Anthy'! Dammit...
Creepy voice: Deeper... go deeper...
Mamiyanthy: And...and... and you see, I have a think for cross-dressing. I
really like it. A lot.
Mikage: I understand. I suppose we have no choice but to go in the back
room and dress each other in sexy lingerie.
Mamiyanthy: Lucky! ^_^
[Suddenly, Mamiyanthy is whisked away by a sudden plot device.]
Mikage: Damn.
[Scene: A bunch of blackboards with rose crests on them shift about and do
strange things. After a while, they vanish, and Tenjou Utena sits at her desk.
Shinohora Wakabanthy appears, and starts talking to her.]
Wakabanthy: How do you like our school?!?!?!?!?!
Utena: If there are girls like you around, I think I'll enjoy it.
[For no apparent reason, Wakabanthy jumps on Utena. The two fall out a
window, where Juri and Miki are fencing.]
[Scene: The Shadow Radio Wall. E-Ko and F-Ko sit over a table.]
E-Ko: Hiiiiiii, MINNA!
F-Ko: We're the new Ohtori Radio Superstars,
E-Ko/F-Ko: E-ko and F-ko!
E-ko: Now, you may wonder why, even though we're radio stars, we're still
behind a shadow wall.
F-ko: It's because we've got lots and lots of talent to do it all!
[The men in Sailormoon fukus all begin to snicker rudely.]
E-ko: And for those wondering what happened to those wonderfully talented
Shadowgirls, A-ko and B-ko...
F-ko: We turned them into cars and drove them away!
E-ko: F-ko no baka! Don't spoil plot elements!
F-ko: But I was just cleverly foreshadowing them... *whines*
E-ko: It's a perfectly wonderful and happy away. Go glomp your best friends!
^_^
F-ko: But there's a chance of cross-dressing bishounen running around, and
scattered showers as well.
E-ko: But I just said it was sunny...
F-ko: I don't care! I'm miserable, dammit! It's raining, and storming, and...
E-Ko: Got dumped by your cross-dressing boyfriend?
F-ko: I never had a chance...
E-Ko: Well, outta time, so remember, as you chew on your tin can and draw
pictures of bizarre phallic appearing anime mascots on your cross-dressing dead
boyfriend's back, check to be making sure if he'll be flirting with his
ex-girlfriend's bride while he's supposed to be in class tomorrow!
F-ko: o.0;;;
Miki: I knew I'd lose, seeing how I'd never won before, but...
Juri: Playing that horrid repetition of notes and sounds suits you much better.
Wakabanthy: That's our Juri-sama, but everyone calls her the Prince. She
drives me all the time... *Wakabanthy begins to mutter ecchi things.*
Utena: *Ahem*
Wakabanthy: And that's Miki. He's being stalked by his obsessive little
sister. She's always stalking him and hurting his girlfriends. That's why he
doesn't have a girlfriend. She also likes to trim his eyebrows while nude.
Utena: That's...
[Utena catches a glimpse of Touga in a red-and-white Rose Bride outfit
watching her from a window. The Sunlit Garden plays quietly in the background.]
Utena: It's... it's him.
[Utena jumps on Wakabanthy's head, and bounces up to the window. Wakabanthy
is carried away by a sudden plot twist. ]
Utena: Touga! Touga! Touga!
[Utena runs past Suzuki, Yamada, and Tanaka, who are currently involved in an
exciting game of twister whilst wearing Togas.]
Utena: Tooouuugggaaaa! TOUGA!
[As Utena runs down the hallway, Touga vanishes around the corner. She turns
the corner, and he poses coolly at the next. She keeps going, and he vanishes
about the next. Random events occur as Utena goes down the twisty hallway, but
she persistently keeps going towards Touga.]
Utena: Touga! Touugaaa!!
Touga: Yes?
Utena: What the HELL are you wearing?!!!!
[Utena turns and walks away.]
Touga: But it's kawaiii...
[As Utena walks away, flowers begin talking to her, and one of them gives her a
Rose Signet.]
Utena: This is...
Utena: Oh well, I better take a walk for no apparent reason.
[Scene: Utena wanders up to the top of the Duel Arena for no apparent reason.
She does not notice the height, or the fact that there is absolutely nothing up
there to see. She carries her Rose Signet in her hand for no apparent reason.]
Utena: My, my, I'm pretty far up.
[On the far end of the platform, Anthy appears. Of course, nobody noticed her
presence, but she's there. and has been there, watering roses.]
Anthy: You're... stepping on the flowers.
Utena: No I'm not.
Anthy: Yes, you are! This whole arena is made up of flowers... you have no
right to step on them! I water them, day and night, harvest them, and stab them
into the chests of you idiot duelists and----
Utena: You're stepping on them.
[Saionji enters, wearing a Sailor Chibimoon fuku and carrying around a
sword for no apparent reason.]
Saionji: You're... stepping on the flowers. And you're close to Anthy.
Nobody's allowed to be close to her! She's mine, and mine alone! Come here
Anthy. Oh yes, Anthy, your hair tastes so good. What, oh...
Utena: Eh?
Saionji: That ring... you're a Duelist?
Utena: What is this? What does this ring mean?
Saionji: You're up here, trampling my flowers, the heart and soul of my
Bride and myself, and you don't even know what that ring means?!
Utena: No. A flower gave it to me.
Saionji: Well, actually, I don't know what it means either. All I know is
that it gives me a good excuse to kick everyone's ass and chew on my beautiful
Bride's hair.
Utena: You know you're stepping on the flowers, right?
Saionji: I'm Saionji. I can do whatever I want. Now anyway, pull out your
sword, I'm going to duel you.
Utena: I didn't bring one.
Saionji: Too bad.......
Utena: But wait! What's this? Could it be that someone left a broom just
sitting about for me to use?!
[Utena kicks the ground, sending a cluster of flowers in the air. Anthy and
Saionji give her very angry glares. No broom pops up.]
Utena: Damn. I'm screwed, aren't I?
Saionji: Gekigan-SWORDO!
[Bells begin to toll.]
"I hear the Dark Ages within my head
Scholars in abstract,
I hear the Dark Ages within my head
Someone else's Thoughts
I hear the Dark Ages within my head
The Annoying Street Prophet
I hear the Dark Ages within my head
The Goat's Tin Can."
[Suddenly, Anthy becomes Wakabanthy, to the notice of nobody.]
Wakabanthy: Go! Go! Go! Faito faito faito! Hai hai! Faito! Faito! Go go!
Utena: Wakaba... that means...
[Utena scans the ground, and runs over to a suspiciously clumped group of
roses. She rips them all out of the ground, to the horror of Anthy.]
Saionji: LET'S... GEKIGA-IN!!!
"Akio, Touga
Such wonderful pleasures,
The Car, baby, the Car!"
Anthy: NO!
[Utena pulls out a shining golden footlocker and throws it at Saionji.]
Saionji: Oof!
[Anthy once more becomes Wakabanthy as the box breaks open upon impact with
Saionji, a la Super Smash Brothers, and assorted items fall to the ground.]
Utena: This is...
"Rationalization, Defilation
The incomplete history lesson because I cut class to swordfight
The Carbonated alcohol flask Machine"
Wakabanthy: No...
[Utena digs through Wakaba's Secret Stash of Sweets until she finds it...]
Wakabanthy: That's mine! ^_^ Mine mine mine mine mine... ^_^
Utena: The Great Big Pixi Stick of Wakaba is mine now!
"The eternal miracle Juri doesn't believe in,
The eternal god I annoy,
Ah, neverending voices from the Dark Ages,
Be quiet in me!"
[Utena charges towards Saionji, beating at his brooch with her big stick.]
Saionji: Now, prepare yourself!
Utena: That's a very cheasy old school RPG cliche... ooh!
[Saionji slashes Utena's shirt open, revealing her great talent.]
"Plague rats eating me inside
Ah, Be quiet,
Neverending voices from the Middle Ages!"
Saionji: FAN SERVICE!
Utena: Saionji no ecchi.... SHI'NEEEEEEEE!!!!!
"In my eyes,
In a few of my hands,
In my blood and breath,
In my mind,
In my ears,
Everywhere...
Ah, be quiet.
It's annoying."
[Utena hurls herself at Saionji, her Pixi Stick gripped tightly. He slashes it
in half. Wakabanthy's eyes fill with tears.]
Wakabanthy: I... I don't like you anymore!
[Wakabanthy becomes Mamiyanthy, who stands around, smirking and looking cool
and evil.]
"Be quiet!"
Mamiyanthy: Heh.
[Mamiyanthy tosses a MYSTERY OBJECT into the arena, which Utena catches and
points at Saionji.]
Utena: You... you aren't very nice! I'm going to get you for that, because that
was MEAN!
"Of all the long haired scantily clad men in the Car that time!
That room! That Car! Those clothes! (Or lack thereof)"
[Utena jumps on Saionji, beating him over the head with a Kodocha hammer.
He yells as each thump smacks him over the head. He raises his Gekigan Sword,
but it's knocked away by a painful thump from the hammer.]
Saionji: This means... I'm going to have to us... 'It'
Utena: 'It'?
Saionji: Yes... 'It'.
Mamiyanthy: This is really dramatic.
"I hear the Dark Ages within my head
Madness and Stupidity
I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
Saionji: GEKIGAN -- PIIIIINNKKKK SUUGGGAAA HEEAAART ATTACKK!
Wakabanthy: U-Ten-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
[Wakabanthy glomps Utena, sending the two flying over the cliff. For no
apparent reason, Wakabanthy becomes Anthy as they fly through the air, with the
greatest of ease!]
"The Science of Therapy,
I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
Utena: We're falling.
Anthy: Then... let's.... kiss?
Utena: Why?
"The Underrated Art of Macaroni Sculptures,
I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
[Utena and Anthy envelope each other with a passionate kiss.]
Dub Voiceover: We're cousins... we have to save the world from meanies!
[Utena's outfit suddenly becomes a Duelist uniform, and her hair suddenly grows
from nowhere.]
Utena: What just happened?
"An aural/psychal Annoyance,
I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
[Anthy is now wearing the Rose Bride uniform. Anthy leans back, and a sword
pops out of her chest. Utena walks over and yanks it out.]
Anthy / Utena: THE POWER TO REVOLUTIONIZE THE WORLD!!!
Utena: This is all surreal and cool and all, but we're still falling.
[Somehow, Utena lands on Anthy's dress and flies at Saionji, slashing his
brooch and rose of his chest. His Chibimoon uniform flies off, and he falls in
his schoolgirl uniform. His eyes look wide and bloodshot.]
Saionji: Need... sleep...
"Make them stop talking,
I hear the Dark Ages within my head!"
[Bells toll as Utena dramatically stands facing the right.]
Utena: This is really dramatic.
Mamiyanthy: *smirks*
[The scene dramatically fades out.]
Anthy: Dammit... the fighting wrecked the whole damn garden. What the hell is
with these idiots? If they want somewhere to fight, why don't they make a big
SILVER arena? But nooo... 'Anthy, take care of roses and fill this whole area
with them' DAMN this pisses me off!
[Scene: A random bedroom covered in stained and dirty sheets. A silent call of
'baa' is heard while the Sunlit garden is playing quietly in the background.
Arisugawa Juri is being suffocated under these sheets, unknown to everyone
else, while Takatsuki Shiori is painting Touga's toenails. Yes, he's still
wearing his Rose Bride uniform, and yes, the Sunlit Garden IS playing quietly
in the background. The sheets move as Juri struggles to free herself. Akio is
doing a voiceover.]
Akio: Why did the Rose Bride lock the Prince in the White Padded Room? That's
easy. He seduced her every night... and he really wasn't a prince at all.
Actually, he was so *hot* and *dirty* that he was covered in flies, so she was
forced to cover him in make-up day in and day out so he could go off and seduce
all the princesses of the world. So, when the villagers found out, they
stormed the castle, and ran her over with a million lawnmowers of hate. The
Rose Bride got really mad and yanked a sword out of her chest and beat them all
down after that.
Shiori: Your hair is so shiny and silky and pretty.
Touga: Yes... I'm pretty sexy, aren't I?
Shiori: Let's hurt Juri.
Touga: Why?
Shiori: Because I don't like her. Let's go try to cause her as much pain as
possible!
Akio: Hey, aren't you all listening to me?
Touga: You know, I was sold as a child.
Shiori: I used to be a naked cabbage fairy.
Touga: My father liked my hair long.
Shiori: I once had a prince.
Touga: My foster father and I went to the End of the World a few times.
Shiori: I know. I was flying around with all my naked cabbage fairy friends
watching you.
Touga: We shagged rotten! Yeah baby, yeah!
[Scene: Miki's room. He and Kozue bathe together. Kozue is trimming is
eyebrows.]
Miki: You know, Kozue, we can't go to the End of the World anymore.
Kozue: Why not?! WHY?! WHY?!
Miki: And since you burned our 'Garden' down, we can't go there either.
Kozue: Traitor!
[Kozue pulls out a gunblade and presses it to Miki's throat, water flooding
the bathroom. Touga's chick looks cute nearby.]
OnsenMark: o.0;;;
[Scene: Utena's bedroom. She is getting ready to go to bed.]
Utena: La la la, things today were strange. Oh well, I think I'll sleep now.
[Someone knocks on the door.]
Utena: Who is it?
Anthy: It's me, Anthy Himemiya!
[Utena opens the door.]
Wakabanthy: U-TEN-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
[Wakabanthy glomps Utena, sending her flying towards the bed.]
Mamiyanthy: I suppose I have no choice but to 'revolutionize your world'.
Utena: You're sick! What do you think you're doing?
Mamiyanthy: Isn't it obvious? The way before us has been prepared.
Utena: NO!
[Utena pushes Mamiyanthy as hard as she possibly can. The bishounen alternate
personality of her Bride crashed into the wall.]
Anthy: Is this... you're boyfriend?
[Anthy gestures to a picture of Touga decked out in the fairytale 'Princess'
outfit posing with 'Prince' Utena.]
Utena: ...
Anthy: You know, you have lots of cute outfits.
[Anthy holds an outfit up to Utena, pushing it against her suggestively.]
Utena: Ecchi!
Anthy: But Touga's are much cuter.
Utena: Get out! Get out! Get out!
Anthy: You don't like me... *pouts*
Utena: GET OUT!
[Utena grabs Anthy and throws her out of the room, slamming the door shut and
locking it.]
Utena: What a weird girl.
[Scene: Miki and Juri are walking through a big, dark, and creepy garage.]
Juri: The End of the World lies before us if we keep going down this path.
Miki: Then why do we want to go?
Juri: You don't want to go to the End of the World with me?
[Dios drives by on a carousel, sipping a cool, refreshing glass of Red Wine
with a kiddy-juice straw.]
Juri: Who's that?
Miki: No idea. He looks really weird, though.
Juri: What's with that tacky outfit, anyway?
Miki: That horse is sexy.
[ Kozue's lawnmower goes by on a lift, as Touga's cute little ducky/chick is
seen lying bloody on the ground.]
Juri: Too bad you're not.
Miki: What?!
Juri: Even though we're alone, in the dark, halfway on the road to the End of
the World, there is no way in hell you're sexy!
Miki: But you like girls... and I'm a real girly guy!
[Scene: Ohtori Academy Movie Akio is sticking a paperclip up his nose, trying
to sneeze.]
Akio: They think I'm a dork on-camera, wait till I'm of----
Oh. Right. To be continued...
[Disco lights begin to go as a music video begins to play.]
If you see a faded sign by the side of the road that says
15 miles to the... Love Shack! Love Shack yeah
I'm headin' down the Atlanta highway, lookin' for the love getaway
Heading for the love getaway, love getaway,
I got me a car, it's as big as a whale and we're headin' on down
To the Love Shack
I got me a Chrysler, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your jukebox money
The Love Shack is a little old place where we can get together
Love Shack baby, Love Shack bay-bee.
Love baby, that's where it's at, Ooo love baby, that's where it's at
Sign says.. Woo... stay away fools, 'cause love rules at the Love Shack!
Well it's set way back in the middle of a field,
Just a funky old shack and I gotta get back
Glitter on the mattress
Glitter on the highway
Glitter on the front porch
Glitter on the hallway
The Love Shack is a little old place where we can get together
Love Shack baby! Love Shack, that's where it's at!
Huggin' and a kissin', dancin' and a lovin', wearin' next to nothing
Cause it's hot as an oven
The whole shack shimmies! The whole shack shimmies when everybody's
Movin' around and around and around!
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby!
Folks linin' up outside just to get down
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby
Funky little shack! Funky little shack!
Hop in my Chrysler, it's as big as a whale and it's about to set sail!
I got me a car, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your jukebox money.
Bang bang bang on the door baby! Knock a little louder baby!
Bang bang bang on the door baby! I can't hear you
Your what?.... Tin roof, rusted!
Love Shack, baby Love Shack!
Love baby, that's where it's at
Huggin' and a kissin', dancin' and a lovin' at the love shack
[TV Akio, Musical Akio, Movie Akio, Eldrick Tobin and his two twin red haired
schoolgirls are dancing to the song, while Touga's corpse shags Chuchu rotten
in the backseat. Shiori chews a rusty tin roof.]
Shiori: Juri... must suffer.
Akio: Bang bang... on the door, BABY!
Yes, 'Love Shack' DOES replace Toki Ni Aiwa. No translation ANYWHERE. v.v;;
Raburii chaamii na kataki yaku,
~Coronusia Ajikazia wonkycyber
"Gekigan-POST!"
Proud member of the Shiori Death Advocates!
Protector of Wakaba's Pixi-Stix
OnsenMark
v9cyb...@aol.comthyself (wonkycyber and his Gekigan Swordo) writes:
>OK. I FINALLY got this finished. The first half of AM Being Anthy, entitled
>'Me, Myself, and Anthy.' I plan on doing part two, releasing that, doing a
>special edition of Part I and II together, THEN I'll work on the series. ^^;;
>
>Enjoy, please. And comment on it, dammit! Remember, line-by-line comments,
>Onsenmark style, are your friends. ^_^ And if it sucks, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY
>SO
>I CAN REMEDY IT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
>
Hey! I'm famous now! 8D
And if this sucked, then you'd be Dr. Thinker. But you're not. o.o;
>Those unfamiliar with 'Being Anthy' should check with it on Deja. It may or
>may
>not be worth the search, but some people like it, so I'm gonna keep doing it.
>
>OK. Enjoy, please. The Adolescence Mokushiroku Edition of the comedy
>fanspamfic, Being Anthy Himemiya... *drumroll please...*
>
[insert 20th Century Frog fanfare here]
>
>"Under the signs of love, courage, and hope, a Revolution will fail.
>But if it is called by the Darkness..."
>
>Shoujo Kakkumei Utena
>"Being Anthy Himemiya"
>
>ADOLESCENCE MOKUSHIROKU EDITION
>"Me, Myself, and Anthy" Part I
>
> [Scene: Black Rose Elevator. Mamiyanthy is seen pouting, screaming at
>unseen voices.]
>
> Mamiyanthy: Dammit... it's not fair... NOT FAIR! This is a sellout I say,
>a
>sellout! The entire 'Being Anthy' theme is absent from this movie... it's
>going
>by brand name... brand name! They slap the name of 'Being Anthy' on
>something,
>and everyone shuns it like it was 'Being Anthy'! Dammit...
>
Geeze. You'd think it was friggin' Pokemon or something. 9_9
>Creepy voice: Deeper... go deeper...
>
> Mamiyanthy: And...and... and you see, I have a think for cross-dressing.
>I
>really like it. A lot.
>
> Mikage: I understand. I suppose we have no choice but to go in the back
>room and dress each other in sexy lingerie.
>
> Mamiyanthy: Lucky! ^_^
>
...kowai... x.x
>[Suddenly, Mamiyanthy is whisked away by a sudden plot device.]
>
Whoosh!
> Mikage: Damn.
>
>[Scene: A bunch of blackboards with rose crests on them shift about and do
>strange things. After a while, they vanish, and Tenjou Utena sits at her
>desk.
>Shinohora Wakabanthy appears, and starts talking to her.]
>
ShinoHORA? o.o;
> Wakabanthy: How do you like our school?!?!?!?!?!
>
>Utena: If there are girls like you around, I think I'll enjoy it.
>
Watch what you say, Tenjou-san. ShinoHARA might get a wee bit jealous...
> [For no apparent reason, Wakabanthy jumps on Utena. The two fall out a
>window, where Juri and Miki are fencing.]
>
>[Scene: The Shadow Radio Wall. E-Ko and F-Ko sit over a table.]
>
> E-Ko: Hiiiiiii, MINNA!
>
>F-Ko: We're the new Ohtori Radio Superstars,
>
>E-Ko/F-Ko: E-ko and F-ko!
>
> E-ko: Now, you may wonder why, even though we're radio stars, we're still
>behind a shadow wall.
>
> F-ko: It's because we've got lots and lots of talent to do it all!
>
[insert Kino Makoto reference here]
>[The men in Sailormoon fukus all begin to snicker rudely.]
>
...I smell bacon...
> E-ko: And for those wondering what happened to those wonderfully talented
>Shadowgirls, A-ko and B-ko...
>
> F-ko: We turned them into cars and drove them away!
>
>E-ko: F-ko no baka! Don't spoil plot elements!
>
What? No Akane Tendo references?
>F-ko: But I was just cleverly foreshadowing them... *whines*
>
>E-ko: It's a perfectly wonderful and happy away. Go glomp your best friends!
>^_^
>
>F-ko: But there's a chance of cross-dressing bishounen running around, and
>scattered showers as well.
>
>E-ko: But I just said it was sunny...
>
>F-ko: I don't care! I'm miserable, dammit! It's raining, and storming, and...
>
>E-Ko: Got dumped by your cross-dressing boyfriend?
>
>F-ko: I never had a chance...
>
>E-Ko: Well, outta time, so remember, as you chew on your tin can and draw
>pictures of bizarre phallic appearing anime mascots on your cross-dressing
>dead
>boyfriend's back, check to be making sure if he'll be flirting with his
>ex-girlfriend's bride while he's supposed to be in class tomorrow!
>
Wow. Try saying that three times fast.
>F-ko: o.0;;;
>
>Miki: I knew I'd lose, seeing how I'd never won before, but...
>Juri: Playing that horrid repetition of notes and sounds suits you much
>better.
>
Since when does Miki play Britney Spears tunes??? o.o;;;
> Wakabanthy: That's our Juri-sama, but everyone calls her the Prince. She
>drives me all the time... *Wakabanthy begins to mutter ecchi things.*
>
...now THAT is kowai...
> Utena: *Ahem*
>
> Wakabanthy: And that's Miki. He's being stalked by his obsessive little
>sister. She's always stalking him and hurting his girlfriends. That's why he
>doesn't have a girlfriend. She also likes to trim his eyebrows while nude.
>
...wait. Who's nude? Kozue or Miki?
> Utena: That's...
>
> [Utena catches a glimpse of Touga in a red-and-white Rose Bride outfit
>watching her from a window. The Sunlit Garden plays quietly in the
>background.]
>
> Utena: It's... it's him.
>
> [Utena jumps on Wakabanthy's head, and bounces up to the window.
>Wakabanthy
>is carried away by a sudden plot twist. ]
>
Whoosh!
> Utena: Touga! Touga! Touga!
>
>[Utena runs past Suzuki, Yamada, and Tanaka, who are currently involved in an
>exciting game of twister whilst wearing Togas.]
>
...ack. x.x
> Utena: Tooouuugggaaaa! TOUGA!
>
>[As Utena runs down the hallway, Touga vanishes around the corner. She turns
>the corner, and he poses coolly at the next. She keeps going, and he vanishes
>about the next. Random events occur as Utena goes down the twisty hallway,
>but
>she persistently keeps going towards Touga.]
>
> Utena: Touga! Touugaaa!!
>
>Touga: Yes?
>
> Utena: What the HELL are you wearing?!!!!
>
>[Utena turns and walks away.]
>
> Touga: But it's kawaiii...
>
Of course. If you're living on the planet Transsexual, in the galaxy of
Transylvania.
>[As Utena walks away, flowers begin talking to her, and one of them gives her
>a
>Rose Signet.]
>
>Utena: This is...
>
...evidently the result of the magic mushrooms on that pizza I ate a little
while ago.
>Utena: Oh well, I better take a walk for no apparent reason.
>
>[Scene: Utena wanders up to the top of the Duel Arena for no apparent reason.
>She does not notice the height, or the fact that there is absolutely nothing
>up
>there to see. She carries her Rose Signet in her hand for no apparent
>reason.]
>
What? no AM version of "ZUM"?
> Utena: My, my, I'm pretty far up.
>
Gee. What gave ya THAT clue?
>[On the far end of the platform, Anthy appears. Of course, nobody noticed her
>presence, but she's there. and has been there, watering roses.]
>
Roses? In the Duel Arena?
> Anthy: You're... stepping on the flowers.
> Utena: No I'm not.
>
> Anthy: Yes, you are! This whole arena is made up of flowers... you have
>no
>right to step on them! I water them, day and night, harvest them, and stab
>them
>into the chests of you idiot duelists and----
>
> Utena: You're stepping on them.
>
Durr... 8B
> [Saionji enters, wearing a Sailor Chibimoon fuku and carrying around a
>sword for no apparent reason.]
>
OH MY GOD. o.O;;;;;;;;;;
> Saionji: You're... stepping on the flowers. And you're close to Anthy.
>Nobody's allowed to be close to her! She's mine, and mine alone! Come here
>Anthy. Oh yes, Anthy, your hair tastes so good. What, oh...
>
...it tastes like chicken!
> Utena: Eh?
>
> Saionji: That ring... you're a Duelist?
>
> Utena: What is this? What does this ring mean?
>
> Saionji: You're up here, trampling my flowers, the heart and soul of my
>Bride and myself, and you don't even know what that ring means?!
>
> Utena: No. A flower gave it to me.
>
Damn those magic mushrooms!
> Saionji: Well, actually, I don't know what it means either. All I know is
>that it gives me a good excuse to kick everyone's ass and chew on my
>beautiful
>Bride's hair.
>
What the hell is Anthy's hair made of, anyway? Ramen???
> Utena: You know you're stepping on the flowers, right?
>
> Saionji: I'm Saionji. I can do whatever I want. Now anyway, pull out your
>sword, I'm going to duel you.
>
Saionji no ecchi! [thwap]
> Utena: I didn't bring one.
>
> Saionji: Too bad.......
>
> Utena: But wait! What's this? Could it be that someone left a broom just
>sitting about for me to use?!
>
...and so, Saionji finally has that broom pulled from out of his bum. o.o;
> [Utena kicks the ground, sending a cluster of flowers in the air. Anthy
>and
>Saionji give her very angry glares. No broom pops up.]
>
> Utena: Damn. I'm screwed, aren't I?
>
>Saionji: Gekigan-SWORDO!
>
> [Bells begin to toll.]
>
>"I hear the Dark Ages within my head
>Scholars in abstract,
>I hear the Dark Ages within my head
>Someone else's Thoughts
>I hear the Dark Ages within my head
>The Annoying Street Prophet
>I hear the Dark Ages within my head
>The Goat's Tin Can."
>
...baaa...
[reads "1,001 Ways To Cook Goat"]
> [Suddenly, Anthy becomes Wakabanthy, to the notice of nobody.]
>
>Wakabanthy: Go! Go! Go! Faito faito faito! Hai hai! Faito! Faito! Go go!
>
>Utena: Wakaba... that means...
>
Yeah. She's one of those shape-shifters from "Star Trek:Deep Space 9".
>[Utena scans the ground, and runs over to a suspiciously clumped group of
>roses. She rips them all out of the ground, to the horror of Anthy.]
>
>Saionji: LET'S... GEKIGA-IN!!!
>
>"Akio, Touga
>Such wonderful pleasures,
>The Car, baby, the Car!"
>
>Anthy: NO!
>
Just say No!
>[Utena pulls out a shining golden footlocker and throws it at Saionji.]
>
>Saionji: Oof!
>
That'll leave a mark.
>[Anthy once more becomes Wakabanthy as the box breaks open upon impact with
>Saionji, a la Super Smash Brothers, and assorted items fall to the ground.]
>
>Utena: This is...
>
>"Rationalization, Defilation
>The incomplete history lesson because I cut class to swordfight
>The Carbonated alcohol flask Machine"
>
What???
>Wakabanthy: No...
>
>[Utena digs through Wakaba's Secret Stash of Sweets until she finds it...]
>
>Wakabanthy: That's mine! ^_^ Mine mine mine mine mine... ^_^
>
...not anymore, hun.
>Utena: The Great Big Pixi Stick of Wakaba is mine now!
>
>"The eternal miracle Juri doesn't believe in,
>The eternal god I annoy,
>Ah, neverending voices from the Dark Ages,
>Be quiet in me!"
>
>[Utena charges towards Saionji, beating at his brooch with her big stick.]
>
>Saionji: Now, prepare yourself!
>
>Utena: That's a very cheasy old school RPG cliche... ooh!
>
> [Saionji slashes Utena's shirt open, revealing her great talent.]
>
Utena is really Makoto Kino??? Kick ASS!!! 8D...
>"Plague rats eating me inside
>Ah, Be quiet,
>Neverending voices from the Middle Ages!"
>
>Saionji: FAN SERVICE!
>
Hey! You ain't Misato! 8O
Oh, yick.
> Wakabanthy: U-Ten-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
>
>[Wakabanthy glomps Utena, sending the two flying over the cliff. For no
>apparent reason, Wakabanthy becomes Anthy as they fly through the air, with
>the
>greatest of ease!]
>
>"The Science of Therapy,
>I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
>
> Utena: We're falling.
>
> Anthy: Then... let's.... kiss?
> Utena: Why?
>
Nothing else to do, other than fallandfalland...
>
>"The Underrated Art of Macaroni Sculptures,
>I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
>
>[Utena and Anthy envelope each other with a passionate kiss.]
>
Ecchi-Mark: Woo-hoo! Hot lesbo action!
Normal-Mark: Hush, you!
> Dub Voiceover: We're cousins... we have to save the world from meanies!
>
>[Utena's outfit suddenly becomes a Duelist uniform, and her hair suddenly
>grows
>from nowhere.]
>
>Utena: What just happened?
>
Acid flashback. It'll pass.
>"An aural/psychal Annoyance,
>I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
>
>[Anthy is now wearing the Rose Bride uniform. Anthy leans back, and a sword
>pops out of her chest. Utena walks over and yanks it out.]
>
>Anthy / Utena: THE POWER TO REVOLUTIONIZE THE WORLD!!!
>
> Utena: This is all surreal and cool and all, but we're still falling.
>
Really? What gave you *that* idea?
>[Somehow, Utena lands on Anthy's dress and flies at Saionji, slashing his
>brooch and rose of his chest. His Chibimoon uniform flies off, and he falls
>in
>his schoolgirl uniform. His eyes look wide and bloodshot.]
>
> Saionji: Need... sleep...
>
That's what happens when you go on a four-day caffiene bender.
>"Make them stop talking,
>I hear the Dark Ages within my head!"
>
>[Bells toll as Utena dramatically stands facing the right.]
>
> Utena: This is really dramatic.
>Mamiyanthy: *smirks*
>
> [The scene dramatically fades out.]
>
>Anthy: Dammit... the fighting wrecked the whole damn garden. What the hell is
>with these idiots? If they want somewhere to fight, why don't they make a big
>SILVER arena? But nooo... 'Anthy, take care of roses and fill this whole area
>with them' DAMN this pisses me off!
>
Wow. How OOC can you get?
>[Scene: A random bedroom covered in stained and dirty sheets. A silent call
>of
>'baa' is heard while the Sunlit garden is playing quietly in the background.
>Arisugawa Juri is being suffocated under these sheets, unknown to everyone
>else, while Takatsuki Shiori is painting Touga's toenails. Yes, he's still
>wearing his Rose Bride uniform, and yes, the Sunlit Garden IS playing quietly
>in the background. The sheets move as Juri struggles to free herself. Akio is
>doing a voiceover.]
>
>Akio: Why did the Rose Bride lock the Prince in the White Padded Room? That's
>easy. He seduced her every night... and he really wasn't a prince at all.
>Actually, he was so *hot* and *dirty* that he was covered in flies, so she
>was
>forced to cover him in make-up day in and day out so he could go off and
>seduce
>all the princesses of the world. So, when the villagers found out, they
>stormed the castle, and ran her over with a million lawnmowers of hate. The
>Rose Bride got really mad and yanked a sword out of her chest and beat them
>all
>down after that.
>
Umm...yeah.
> Shiori: Your hair is so shiny and silky and pretty.
>
RHPS Audience: Slut!
>Touga: Yes... I'm pretty sexy, aren't I?
>
RHPS Audience: A**hole!
> Shiori: Let's hurt Juri.
>
>Touga: Why?
>
> Shiori: Because I don't like her. Let's go try to cause her as much pain
>as
>possible!
>
Now I know who Denis Leary was REALLY talking about when he wrote that song
"Asshole"...
>Akio: Hey, aren't you all listening to me?
>
...evidently not.
>Touga: You know, I was sold as a child.
>
>Shiori: I used to be a naked cabbage fairy.
>
>Touga: My father liked my hair long.
>
>Shiori: I once had a prince.
>
>Touga: My foster father and I went to the End of the World a few times.
>
>Shiori: I know. I was flying around with all my naked cabbage fairy friends
>watching you.
>
>Touga: We shagged rotten! Yeah baby, yeah!
>
You know ... that explained SO much... -_-;
>[Scene: Miki's room. He and Kozue bathe together. Kozue is trimming is
>eyebrows.]
>
> Miki: You know, Kozue, we can't go to the End of the World anymore.
>
>Kozue: Why not?! WHY?! WHY?!
>
> Miki: And since you burned our 'Garden' down, we can't go there either.
>
>Kozue: Traitor!
>
> [Kozue pulls out a gunblade and presses it to Miki's throat, water
>flooding
>the bathroom. Touga's chick looks cute nearby.]
>
>OnsenMark: o.0;;;
>
Hey! Don't second-guess me! 8O
> [Scene: Utena's bedroom. She is getting ready to go to bed.]
>
>Utena: La la la, things today were strange. Oh well, I think I'll sleep now.
>
>[Someone knocks on the door.]
>
> Utena: Who is it?
>
>Anthy: It's me, Anthy Himemiya!
>
> [Utena opens the door.]
>
>Wakabanthy: U-TEN-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
>
>[Wakabanthy glomps Utena, sending her flying towards the bed.]
>
>Mamiyanthy: I suppose I have no choice but to 'revolutionize your world'.
Don't you mean "rock yo' world"?
>Utena: You're sick! What do you think you're doing?
>
>Mamiyanthy: Isn't it obvious? The way before us has been prepared.
>
>Utena: NO!
>
>[Utena pushes Mamiyanthy as hard as she possibly can. The bishounen alternate
>personality of her Bride crashed into the wall.]
>
>Anthy: Is this... you're boyfriend?
>
>[Anthy gestures to a picture of Touga decked out in the fairytale 'Princess'
>outfit posing with 'Prince' Utena.]
>
>Utena: ...
>
>Anthy: You know, you have lots of cute outfits.
>
>[Anthy holds an outfit up to Utena, pushing it against her suggestively.]
>
>Utena: Ecchi!
>
>Anthy: But Touga's are much cuter.
>
>Utena: Get out! Get out! Get out!
>
>Anthy: You don't like me... *pouts*
>
>Utena: GET OUT!
>
>[Utena grabs Anthy and throws her out of the room, slamming the door shut and
>locking it.]
>
> Utena: What a weird girl.
>
>[Scene: Miki and Juri are walking through a big, dark, and creepy garage.]
>
>Juri: The End of the World lies before us if we keep going down this path.
>
>Miki: Then why do we want to go?
[Juri]: So I don't have to pay any more for parking fees...
>Juri: You don't want to go to the End of the World with me?
>
>[Dios drives by on a carousel, sipping a cool, refreshing glass of Red Wine
>with a kiddy-juice straw.]
>
>Juri: Who's that?
>
God?
>Miki: No idea. He looks really weird, though.
>
>Juri: What's with that tacky outfit, anyway?
Cosplay.
>Miki: That horse is sexy.
O.o;;;;;;;;; EEEEEEW!
>[ Kozue's lawnmower goes by on a lift, as Touga's cute little ducky/chick is
>seen lying bloody on the ground.]
>
>Juri: Too bad you're not.
>
>Miki: What?!
>
>Juri: Even though we're alone, in the dark, halfway on the road to the End of
>the World, there is no way in hell you're sexy!
>
>Miki: But you like girls... and I'm a real girly guy!
>
>[Scene: Ohtori Academy Movie Akio is sticking a paperclip up his nose,
>trying
>to sneeze.]
>
And, this accomplishes...?
ack.[faints]
>Shiori: Juri... must suffer.
And for that...you should die. >_< Kill the Goat!
...why IS Shiori called a "goat", anyway???
>Akio: Bang bang... on the door, BABY!
>
>Yes, 'Love Shack' DOES replace Toki Ni Aiwa. No translation ANYWHERE. v.v;;
Besides. It wouldn't be as ska-rewie...
Mark. 8)
- proud member of the Wakaba Genki Preservation Society!
- proud member of the Shiori Death Advocates!
Page o' Stuff: hometown.aol.com/locutusxx/index.html
UtenaCode(1.0) U:4+ F:Wa+Hi+:pSC D:Sa--Na- X:*:a[SC][BR] M:f"Sunlit
Garden"//"Truth"
Eldrick Tobin, Master of Perversion
v9cyb...@aol.comthyself (wonkycyber and his Gekigan Swordo), let forth a
throaty,"Eureka!" they followed their Joyful Noise with:
>[TV Akio, Musical Akio, Movie Akio, Eldrick Tobin and his two twin red haired
>schoolgirls are dancing to the song, while Touga's corpse shags Chuchu rotten
>in the backseat. Shiori chews a rusty tin roof.]
I can only laugh at this or say "The Hell?!" and can't do much else... ^o^;
--
Eldrick Tobin -who got no kiss from Kintaro Ami-sama for this
"If the the audience doesn't shut up, it can't ever truly enjoy the movie.
We are the audience; the movie plays before us.
If the audience doesn't shut up, no one can hope to enjoy the movie.
Silence the audience, for the enjoyment of the movie." -Paraphrase of the "Chick Speech"
Eldrick Tobin, Master of Perversion
followed their Joyful Noise with:
>In article <20000721211538...@ng-fa1.aol.com>,
>v9cyb...@aol.comthyself (wonkycyber and his Gekigan Swordo) writes:
>
>>OK. I FINALLY got this finished. The first half of AM Being Anthy, entitled
>>'Me, Myself, and Anthy.' I plan on doing part two, releasing that, doing a
>>special edition of Part I and II together, THEN I'll work on the series. ^^;;
>>
>>Enjoy, please. And comment on it, dammit! Remember, line-by-line comments,
>>Onsenmark style, are your friends. ^_^ And if it sucks, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY
>>SO
>>I CAN REMEDY IT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
>>
>
>Hey! I'm famous now! 8D
>
>And if this sucked, then you'd be Dr. Thinker. But you're not. o.o;
and there was much rejoicing.
>>Those unfamiliar with 'Being Anthy' should check with it on Deja. It may or
>>may
>>not be worth the search, but some people like it, so I'm gonna keep doing it.
>>
>>OK. Enjoy, please. The Adolescence Mokushiroku Edition of the comedy
>>fanspamfic, Being Anthy Himemiya... *drumroll please...*
>>
>
>[insert 20th Century Frog fanfare here]
-.-
>>"Under the signs of love, courage, and hope, a Revolution will fail.
>>But if it is called by the Darkness..."
>>
>>Shoujo Kakkumei Utena
>>"Being Anthy Himemiya"
>>
>>ADOLESCENCE MOKUSHIROKU EDITION
>>"Me, Myself, and Anthy" Part I
>>
>> [Scene: Black Rose Elevator. Mamiyanthy is seen pouting, screaming at
>>unseen voices.]
So... what's different?
>> Mamiyanthy: Dammit... it's not fair... NOT FAIR! This is a sellout I say,
>>a
>>sellout! The entire 'Being Anthy' theme is absent from this movie... it's
>>going
>>by brand name... brand name! They slap the name of 'Being Anthy' on
>>something,
>>and everyone shuns it like it was 'Being Anthy'! Dammit...
>>
>
>Geeze. You'd think it was friggin' Pokemon or something. 9_9
or the black plague... or "Ishtar"
>>Creepy voice: Deeper... go deeper...
>>
>> Mamiyanthy: And...and... and you see, I have a think for cross-dressing.
>>I
>>really like it. A lot.
>>
>> Mikage: I understand. I suppose we have no choice but to go in the back
>>room and dress each other in sexy lingerie.
>>
>> Mamiyanthy: Lucky! ^_^
>>
>
>...kowai... x.x
you're just saying that.
>>[Suddenly, Mamiyanthy is whisked away by a sudden plot device.]
>>
>
>Whoosh!
>
>> Mikage: Damn.
>>
>>[Scene: A bunch of blackboards with rose crests on them shift about and do
>>strange things. After a while, they vanish, and Tenjou Utena sits at her
>>desk.
>>Shinohora Wakabanthy appears, and starts talking to her.]
>>
>
>ShinoHORA? o.o;
typo Mark... it's just a typo. We'll make it through this!
>> Wakabanthy: How do you like our school?!?!?!?!?!
>>
>>Utena: If there are girls like you around, I think I'll enjoy it.
>>
>
>Watch what you say, Tenjou-san. ShinoHARA might get a wee bit jealous...
>
>> [For no apparent reason, Wakabanthy jumps on Utena. The two fall out a
>>window, where Juri and Miki are fencing.]
>>
>>[Scene: The Shadow Radio Wall. E-Ko and F-Ko sit over a table.]
>>
>> E-Ko: Hiiiiiii, MINNA!
>>
>>F-Ko: We're the new Ohtori Radio Superstars,
>>
>>E-Ko/F-Ko: E-ko and F-ko!
>>
>> E-ko: Now, you may wonder why, even though we're radio stars, we're still
>>behind a shadow wall.
>>
>> F-ko: It's because we've got lots and lots of talent to do it all!
>>
>
>[insert Kino Makoto reference here]
>
>>[The men in Sailormoon fukus all begin to snicker rudely.]
>>
>
>...I smell bacon...
gah.
>> E-ko: And for those wondering what happened to those wonderfully talented
>>Shadowgirls, A-ko and B-ko...
>>
>> F-ko: We turned them into cars and drove them away!
>>
>>E-ko: F-ko no baka! Don't spoil plot elements!
>>
>
>What? No Akane Tendo references?
None.
>>F-ko: But I was just cleverly foreshadowing them... *whines*
>>
>>E-ko: It's a perfectly wonderful and happy away. Go glomp your best friends!
>>^_^
>>
>>F-ko: But there's a chance of cross-dressing bishounen running around, and
>>scattered showers as well.
>>
>>E-ko: But I just said it was sunny...
>>
>>F-ko: I don't care! I'm miserable, dammit! It's raining, and storming, and...
>>
>>E-Ko: Got dumped by your cross-dressing boyfriend?
I should make a funny joke here... I will...
F-ko: That's not it...
E-ko: Crossdressing girlfriend?
>>
>>F-ko: I never had a chance...
>>
>>E-Ko: Well, outta time, so remember, as you chew on your tin can and draw
>>pictures of bizarre phallic appearing anime mascots on your cross-dressing
>>dead
>>boyfriend's back, check to be making sure if he'll be flirting with his
>>ex-girlfriend's bride while he's supposed to be in class tomorrow!
>>
>
>Wow. Try saying that three times fast.
You first.
>>F-ko: o.0;;;
>>
>>Miki: I knew I'd lose, seeing how I'd never won before, but...
>>Juri: Playing that horrid repetition of notes and sounds suits you much
>>better.
>>
>
>Since when does Miki play Britney Spears tunes??? o.o;;;
>
>> Wakabanthy: That's our Juri-sama, but everyone calls her the Prince. She
>>drives me all the time... *Wakabanthy begins to mutter ecchi things.*
>>
>
>...now THAT is kowai...
ObRoshni: Is not... oooh the sweet yuri ~o~
>> Utena: *Ahem*
>>
>> Wakabanthy: And that's Miki. He's being stalked by his obsessive little
>>sister. She's always stalking him and hurting his girlfriends. That's why he
>>doesn't have a girlfriend. She also likes to trim his eyebrows while nude.
>>
>
>...wait. Who's nude? Kozue or Miki?
Yes.
>> Utena: That's...
>>
>> [Utena catches a glimpse of Touga in a red-and-white Rose Bride outfit
>>watching her from a window. The Sunlit Garden plays quietly in the
>>background.]
>>
>> Utena: It's... it's him.
>>
>> [Utena jumps on Wakabanthy's head, and bounces up to the window.
>>Wakabanthy
>>is carried away by a sudden plot twist. ]
>>
>
>Whoosh!
Zoom!
Whisk!
Broom!
>> Utena: Touga! Touga! Touga!
>>
>>[Utena runs past Suzuki, Yamada, and Tanaka, who are currently involved in an
>>exciting game of twister whilst wearing Togas.]
>>
>
>...ack. x.x
and nothing else.
>> Utena: Tooouuugggaaaa! TOUGA!
>>
>>[As Utena runs down the hallway, Touga vanishes around the corner. She turns
>>the corner, and he poses coolly at the next. She keeps going, and he vanishes
>>about the next. Random events occur as Utena goes down the twisty hallway,
>>but
>>she persistently keeps going towards Touga.]
>>
>> Utena: Touga! Touugaaa!!
>>
>>Touga: Yes?
>>
>> Utena: What the HELL are you wearing?!!!!
>>
>>[Utena turns and walks away.]
>>
>> Touga: But it's kawaiii...
>>
>
>Of course. If you're living on the planet Transsexual, in the galaxy of
>Transylvania.
Or you have fangirls.
>>[As Utena walks away, flowers begin talking to her, and one of them gives her
>>a
>>Rose Signet.]
>>
>>Utena: This is...
>>
>
>...evidently the result of the magic mushrooms on that pizza I ate a little
>while ago.
>
>>Utena: Oh well, I better take a walk for no apparent reason.
>>
>>[Scene: Utena wanders up to the top of the Duel Arena for no apparent reason.
>>She does not notice the height, or the fact that there is absolutely nothing
>>up
>>there to see. She carries her Rose Signet in her hand for no apparent
>>reason.]
>>
>
>What? no AM version of "ZUM"?
*thinks* Hmm... well a sections been cut out... so... and I don't remember
personally... and it could be... yes... that author-sama doesn't wanna deal with
it.
Or it's in the next part... I forget these things.
>> Utena: My, my, I'm pretty far up.
>>
>
>Gee. What gave ya THAT clue?
All the people looking up her trouser leg?
>>[On the far end of the platform, Anthy appears. Of course, nobody noticed her
>>presence, but she's there. and has been there, watering roses.]
>>
>
>Roses? In the Duel Arena?
Yep. It's Both... well actually... this is the garden... think about if Utena
had leapt down and faced Sai after the AnthySlap... this is like that... only
the garden is flat... not a greenhouse.
>> Anthy: You're... stepping on the flowers.
>> Utena: No I'm not.
>>
>> Anthy: Yes, you are! This whole arena is made up of flowers... you have
>>no
>>right to step on them! I water them, day and night, harvest them, and stab
>>them
>>into the chests of you idiot duelists and----
>>
>> Utena: You're stepping on them.
>>
>
>Durr... 8B
>
>> [Saionji enters, wearing a Sailor Chibimoon fuku and carrying around a
>>sword for no apparent reason.]
>>
>
>OH MY GOD. o.O;;;;;;;;;;
*Dios looks up and just quirks an eyebrow silently* *The Sunlight Garden...
Raver mix plays*
>> Saionji: You're... stepping on the flowers. And you're close to Anthy.
>>Nobody's allowed to be close to her! She's mine, and mine alone! Come here
>>Anthy. Oh yes, Anthy, your hair tastes so good. What, oh...
>>
>
>...it tastes like chicken!
if the chicken has been bathing in Pert Plus.
>> Utena: Eh?
>>
>> Saionji: That ring... you're a Duelist?
>>
>> Utena: What is this? What does this ring mean?
>>
>> Saionji: You're up here, trampling my flowers, the heart and soul of my
>>Bride and myself, and you don't even know what that ring means?!
>>
>> Utena: No. A flower gave it to me.
>>
>
>Damn those magic mushrooms!
and crying flowers... and cinematics in RPG's when you can't control the
action... and man I really wanted to control Shinji in his wedding nights
game...
>> Saionji: Well, actually, I don't know what it means either. All I know is
>>that it gives me a good excuse to kick everyone's ass and chew on my
>>beautiful
>>Bride's hair.
>>
>
>What the hell is Anthy's hair made of, anyway? Ramen???
Sai has Touga's hair touch fetish... with that Saionji flare tossed on.
>> Utena: You know you're stepping on the flowers, right?
>>
>> Saionji: I'm Saionji. I can do whatever I want. Now anyway, pull out your
>>sword, I'm going to duel you.
>>
>
>Saionji no ecchi! [thwap]
Be hard for Sai to reach the rose unless he jumped then though...
>> Utena: I didn't bring one.
>>
>> Saionji: Too bad.......
>>
>> Utena: But wait! What's this? Could it be that someone left a broom just
>>sitting about for me to use?!
>>
>
>...and so, Saionji finally has that broom pulled from out of his bum. o.o;
sadly... no.
>> [Utena kicks the ground, sending a cluster of flowers in the air. Anthy
>>and
>>Saionji give her very angry glares. No broom pops up.]
>>
>> Utena: Damn. I'm screwed, aren't I?
>>
>>Saionji: Gekigan-SWORDO!
>>
>> [Bells begin to toll.]
>>
>>"I hear the Dark Ages within my head
>>Scholars in abstract,
>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head
>>Someone else's Thoughts
>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head
>>The Annoying Street Prophet
>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head
>>The Goat's Tin Can."
>>
>
>...baaa...
>
>[reads "1,001 Ways To Cook Goat"]
>
>> [Suddenly, Anthy becomes Wakabanthy, to the notice of nobody.]
>>
>>Wakabanthy: Go! Go! Go! Faito faito faito! Hai hai! Faito! Faito! Go go!
>>
>>Utena: Wakaba... that means...
>>
>
>Yeah. She's one of those shape-shifters from "Star Trek:Deep Space 9".
hehe
>>[Utena scans the ground, and runs over to a suspiciously clumped group of
>>roses. She rips them all out of the ground, to the horror of Anthy.]
>>
>>Saionji: LET'S... GEKIGA-IN!!!
>>
>>"Akio, Touga
>>Such wonderful pleasures,
>>The Car, baby, the Car!"
>>
>>Anthy: NO!
>>
>
>Just say No!
... to the Akio Car.
>>[Utena pulls out a shining golden footlocker and throws it at Saionji.]
>>
>>Saionji: Oof!
>>
>
>That'll leave a mark.
That's the point it'll hurt more.
>>[Anthy once more becomes Wakabanthy as the box breaks open upon impact with
>>Saionji, a la Super Smash Brothers, and assorted items fall to the ground.]
>>
>>Utena: This is...
>>
>>"Rationalization, Defilation
>>The incomplete history lesson because I cut class to swordfight
>>The Carbonated alcohol flask Machine"
>>
>
>What???
it's inspired ~o~
>>Wakabanthy: No...
>>
>>[Utena digs through Wakaba's Secret Stash of Sweets until she finds it...]
>>
>>Wakabanthy: That's mine! ^_^ Mine mine mine mine mine... ^_^
>>
>
>...not anymore, hun.
Now it belongs to all the children of the world...
>>Utena: The Great Big Pixi Stick of Wakaba is mine now!
>>
>>"The eternal miracle Juri doesn't believe in,
>>The eternal god I annoy,
>>Ah, neverending voices from the Dark Ages,
>>Be quiet in me!"
>>
>>[Utena charges towards Saionji, beating at his brooch with her big stick.]
>>
>>Saionji: Now, prepare yourself!
>>
>>Utena: That's a very cheasy old school RPG cliche... ooh!
>>
>> [Saionji slashes Utena's shirt open, revealing her great talent.]
>>
>
>Utena is really Makoto Kino??? Kick ASS!!! 8D...
more like Haruka here... really packed them in.
>>"Plague rats eating me inside
>>Ah, Be quiet,
>>Neverending voices from the Middle Ages!"
>>
>>Saionji: FAN SERVICE!
>>
>
>Hey! You ain't Misato! 8O
No kidding no da.
>> Utena: Saionji no ecchi.... SHI'NEEEEEEEE!!!!!
>>
>>"In my eyes,
>>In a few of my hands,
>>In my blood and breath,
>>In my mind,
>>In my ears,
>>Everywhere...
>>Ah, be quiet.
>>It's annoying."
>>
>>[Utena hurls herself at Saionji, her Pixi Stick gripped tightly. He slashes
>>it
>>in half. Wakabanthy's eyes fill with tears.]
>>
>> Wakabanthy: I... I don't like you anymore!
>>
>>[Wakabanthy becomes Mamiyanthy, who stands around, smirking and looking cool
>>and evil.]
>>
>>"Be quiet!"
MA: Bite me.
"I said be quiet"
>>Mamiyanthy: Heh.
>>
>>[Mamiyanthy tosses a MYSTERY OBJECT into the arena, which Utena catches and
>>points at Saionji.]
>>
>>Utena: You... you aren't very nice! I'm going to get you for that, because
>>that
>>was MEAN!
>>
>>"Of all the long haired scantily clad men in the Car that time!
>>That room! That Car! Those clothes! (Or lack thereof)"
Akio: Oh yeah.
>> [Utena jumps on Saionji, beating him over the head with a Kodocha hammer.
>>He yells as each thump smacks him over the head. He raises his Gekigan Sword,
>>but it's knocked away by a painful thump from the hammer.]
>>
>> Saionji: This means... I'm going to have to us... 'It'
>>
>>Utena: 'It'?
>>
>> Saionji: Yes... 'It'.
>>
>>Mamiyanthy: This is really dramatic.
>>
>>"I hear the Dark Ages within my head
>>Madness and Stupidity
>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
>>
>> Saionji: GEKIGAN -- PIIIIINNKKKK SUUGGGAAA HEEAAART ATTACKK!
>>
>
>Oh, yick.
Whoa... it's even weaker as someone without a heart does it... wow.
>> Wakabanthy: U-Ten-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
>>
>>[Wakabanthy glomps Utena, sending the two flying over the cliff. For no
>>apparent reason, Wakabanthy becomes Anthy as they fly through the air, with
>>the
>>greatest of ease!]
>>
>>"The Science of Therapy,
>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
>>
>> Utena: We're falling.
>>
>> Anthy: Then... let's.... kiss?
>> Utena: Why?
>>
>
>Nothing else to do, other than fallandfalland...
Butthead: Lesbians are cool.
>>"The Underrated Art of Macaroni Sculptures,
>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
>>
>>[Utena and Anthy envelope each other with a passionate kiss.]
>>
>
>Ecchi-Mark: Woo-hoo! Hot lesbo action!
>
>Normal-Mark: Hush, you!
I think you were better in ecchi mode. *sees Akio nodding* Who asked you Pimp
Master of a CAR!
>> Dub Voiceover: We're cousins... we have to save the world from meanies!
>>
>>[Utena's outfit suddenly becomes a Duelist uniform, and her hair suddenly
>>grows
>>from nowhere.]
>>
>>Utena: What just happened?
>>
>
>Acid flashback. It'll pass.
Or the movie will continue... hmm... guess the trip won't pass... enjoy the
M.C.Echer Campus.
>>"An aural/psychal Annoyance,
>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
>>
>>[Anthy is now wearing the Rose Bride uniform. Anthy leans back, and a sword
>>pops out of her chest. Utena walks over and yanks it out.]
>>
>>Anthy / Utena: THE POWER TO REVOLUTIONIZE THE WORLD!!!
>>
>> Utena: This is all surreal and cool and all, but we're still falling.
>>
>
>Really? What gave you *that* idea?
the draft.
Havoc: That was not because of the fall.
>>[Somehow, Utena lands on Anthy's dress and flies at Saionji, slashing his
>>brooch and rose of his chest. His Chibimoon uniform flies off, and he falls
>>in
>>his schoolgirl uniform. His eyes look wide and bloodshot.]
>>
>> Saionji: Need... sleep...
>>
>
>That's what happens when you go on a four-day caffiene bender.
or animethons...
>>"Make them stop talking,
>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head!"
>>
>>[Bells toll as Utena dramatically stands facing the right.]
>>
>> Utena: This is really dramatic.
>>Mamiyanthy: *smirks*
>>
>> [The scene dramatically fades out.]
>>
>>Anthy: Dammit... the fighting wrecked the whole damn garden. What the hell is
>>with these idiots? If they want somewhere to fight, why don't they make a big
>>SILVER arena? But nooo... 'Anthy, take care of roses and fill this whole area
>>with them' DAMN this pisses me off!
>>
>
>Wow. How OOC can you get?
Actually... Movie Anthy is not quite the same as the one you are used to. Like
Rei Ayanami from the main of Eva... and Rei Ayanami from the alternate timeline
with the Boloney Pony line.
>>[Scene: A random bedroom covered in stained and dirty sheets. A silent call
>>of
>>'baa' is heard while the Sunlit garden is playing quietly in the background.
>>Arisugawa Juri is being suffocated under these sheets, unknown to everyone
>>else, while Takatsuki Shiori is painting Touga's toenails. Yes, he's still
>>wearing his Rose Bride uniform, and yes, the Sunlit Garden IS playing quietly
>>in the background. The sheets move as Juri struggles to free herself. Akio is
>>doing a voiceover.]
>>
>>Akio: Why did the Rose Bride lock the Prince in the White Padded Room? That's
>>easy. He seduced her every night... and he really wasn't a prince at all.
>>Actually, he was so *hot* and *dirty* that he was covered in flies, so she
>>was
>>forced to cover him in make-up day in and day out so he could go off and
>>seduce
>>all the princesses of the world. So, when the villagers found out, they
>>stormed the castle, and ran her over with a million lawnmowers of hate. The
>>Rose Bride got really mad and yanked a sword out of her chest and beat them
>>all
>>down after that.
>>
>
>Umm...yeah.
what?
>> Shiori: Your hair is so shiny and silky and pretty.
>>
>
>RHPS Audience: Slut!
*shrug*
>>Touga: Yes... I'm pretty sexy, aren't I?
>>
>
>RHPS Audience: A**hole!
Akio: *nodding*
>> Shiori: Let's hurt Juri.
>>
>>Touga: Why?
>>
>> Shiori: Because I don't like her. Let's go try to cause her as much pain
>>as
>>possible!
>>
>
>Now I know who Denis Leary was REALLY talking about when he wrote that song
>"Asshole"...
Akio: Who?
>>Akio: Hey, aren't you all listening to me?
>>
>
>...evidently not.
Akio: At least they are looking. *tou's over a car or two with his shirt open*
>>Touga: You know, I was sold as a child.
>>
>>Shiori: I used to be a naked cabbage fairy.
>>
>>Touga: My father liked my hair long.
>>
>>Shiori: I once had a prince.
>>
>>Touga: My foster father and I went to the End of the World a few times.
>>
>>Shiori: I know. I was flying around with all my naked cabbage fairy friends
>>watching you.
>>
>>Touga: We shagged rotten! Yeah baby, yeah!
>>
>
>You know ... that explained SO much... -_-;
yep.
>>[Scene: Miki's room. He and Kozue bathe together. Kozue is trimming is
>>eyebrows.]
>>
>> Miki: You know, Kozue, we can't go to the End of the World anymore.
>>
>>Kozue: Why not?! WHY?! WHY?!
>>
>> Miki: And since you burned our 'Garden' down, we can't go there either.
>>
>>Kozue: Traitor!
>>
>> [Kozue pulls out a gunblade and presses it to Miki's throat, water
>>flooding
>>the bathroom. Touga's chick looks cute nearby.]
>>
>>OnsenMark: o.0;;;
>>
>
>Hey! Don't second-guess me! 8O
What? Shiori... naked... looking cute... aren't most you SDA's going wigout on
that?
>> [Scene: Utena's bedroom. She is getting ready to go to bed.]
>>
>>Utena: La la la, things today were strange. Oh well, I think I'll sleep now.
>>
>>[Someone knocks on the door.]
>>
>> Utena: Who is it?
>>
>>Anthy: It's me, Anthy Himemiya!
>>
>> [Utena opens the door.]
>>
>>Wakabanthy: U-TEN-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
>>
>>[Wakabanthy glomps Utena, sending her flying towards the bed.]
>>
>>Mamiyanthy: I suppose I have no choice but to 'revolutionize your world'.
>
>Don't you mean "rock yo' world"?
same thing.
>>Utena: You're sick! What do you think you're doing?
>>
>>Mamiyanthy: Isn't it obvious? The way before us has been prepared.
>>
>>Utena: NO!
>>
>>[Utena pushes Mamiyanthy as hard as she possibly can. The bishounen alternate
>>personality of her Bride crashed into the wall.]
>>
>>Anthy: Is this... you're boyfriend?
Anthy: He looks a little more opague than I'm used to seeing him.
>>[Anthy gestures to a picture of Touga decked out in the fairytale 'Princess'
>>outfit posing with 'Prince' Utena.]
>>
>>Utena: ...
>>
>>Anthy: You know, you have lots of cute outfits.
>>
>>[Anthy holds an outfit up to Utena, pushing it against her suggestively.]
>>
>>Utena: Ecchi!
>>
>>Anthy: But Touga's are much cuter.
>>
>>Utena: Get out! Get out! Get out!
>>
>>Anthy: You don't like me... *pouts*
>>
>>Utena: GET OUT!
>>
>>[Utena grabs Anthy and throws her out of the room, slamming the door shut and
>>locking it.]
>>
>> Utena: What a weird girl.
Utena: My poor pulse... I'll have to calm down by... hey audience the scene
changed... can't a girl masturbate without the wolves watching anymore?
>>[Scene: Miki and Juri are walking through a big, dark, and creepy garage.]
>>
>>Juri: The End of the World lies before us if we keep going down this path.
>>
>>Miki: Then why do we want to go?
>
>[Juri]: So I don't have to pay any more for parking fees...
>
>>Juri: You don't want to go to the End of the World with me?
>>
>>[Dios drives by on a carousel, sipping a cool, refreshing glass of Red Wine
>>with a kiddy-juice straw.]
>>
>>Juri: Who's that?
>>
>
>God?
Iehovah?
>>Miki: No idea. He looks really weird, though.
>>
>>Juri: What's with that tacky outfit, anyway?
>
>Cosplay.
>
>>Miki: That horse is sexy.
>
>O.o;;;;;;;;; EEEEEEW!
Elios: Better you than me 0.o
Dios's Horse: Hey Miki he's got a horn... better than me yes yes.
Elios: You must be Akio's horse to be so evil.
>>[ Kozue's lawnmower goes by on a lift, as Touga's cute little ducky/chick is
>>seen lying bloody on the ground.]
>>
>>Juri: Too bad you're not.
>>
>>Miki: What?!
>>
>>Juri: Even though we're alone, in the dark, halfway on the road to the End of
>>the World, there is no way in hell you're sexy!
>>
>>Miki: But you like girls... and I'm a real girly guy!
>>
>>[Scene: Ohtori Academy Movie Akio is sticking a paperclip up his nose,
>>trying
>>to sneeze.]
>>
>
>And, this accomplishes...?
he's trying to make bubbles on the paperclip. like what you do with bubble
solution.
Right Author-sama?
>>Akio: They think I'm a dork on-camera, wait till I'm of----
>>
>>Oh. Right. To be continued...
>>
>>[Disco lights begin to go as a music video begins to play.]
uh oh.
Chiri: Does he...
Richi: Mean us?
Eld: Dunno... maybe that Shiori was here.
Shiori: Don't be ridiculous, baaa. It's not because of me, baaa.
>>Shiori: Juri... must suffer.
>
>And for that...you should die. >_< Kill the Goat!
>
>...why IS Shiori called a "goat", anyway???
She gloats... she's a gloating goat?
>>Akio: Bang bang... on the door, BABY!
>>
>>Yes, 'Love Shack' DOES replace Toki Ni Aiwa. No translation ANYWHERE. v.v;;
>
>Besides. It wouldn't be as ska-rewie...
hehe
>Mark. 8)
>- proud member of the Wakaba Genki Preservation Society!
>- proud member of the Shiori Death Advocates!
>Page o' Stuff: hometown.aol.com/locutusxx/index.html
>UtenaCode(1.0) U:4+ F:Wa+Hi+:pSC D:Sa--Na- X:*:a[SC][BR] M:f"Sunlit
>Garden"//"Truth"
--
OnsenMark
of Perversion" <eld...@mindless.com> writes:
>While Eldrick procrastinates about stuff and junk and stuff,
>locu...@aol.combatrock (OnsenMark), let forth a throaty,"Eureka!" they
>followed their Joyful Noise with:
>
>>In article <20000721211538...@ng-fa1.aol.com>,
>>v9cyb...@aol.comthyself (wonkycyber and his Gekigan Swordo) writes:
>>
>>>OK. I FINALLY got this finished. The first half of AM Being Anthy, entitled
>>>'Me, Myself, and Anthy.' I plan on doing part two, releasing that, doing a
>>>special edition of Part I and II together, THEN I'll work on the series.
>^^;;
>>>
>>>Enjoy, please. And comment on it, dammit! Remember, line-by-line comments,
>>>Onsenmark style, are your friends. ^_^ And if it sucks, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY
>>>SO
>>>I CAN REMEDY IT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
>>>
>>
>>Hey! I'm famous now! 8D
>>
>>And if this sucked, then you'd be Dr. Thinker. But you're not. o.o;
>
>and there was much rejoicing.
>
yay.
>>>Those unfamiliar with 'Being Anthy' should check with it on Deja. It may or
>>>may
>>>not be worth the search, but some people like it, so I'm gonna keep doing
>it.
>>>
>>>OK. Enjoy, please. The Adolescence Mokushiroku Edition of the comedy
>>>fanspamfic, Being Anthy Himemiya... *drumroll please...*
>>>
>>
>>[insert 20th Century Frog fanfare here]
>
>-.-
>
It was from an episode of "Monty Python".
>>>"Under the signs of love, courage, and hope, a Revolution will fail.
>>>But if it is called by the Darkness..."
>>>
>>>Shoujo Kakkumei Utena
>>>"Being Anthy Himemiya"
>>>
>>>ADOLESCENCE MOKUSHIROKU EDITION
>>>"Me, Myself, and Anthy" Part I
>>>
>>> [Scene: Black Rose Elevator. Mamiyanthy is seen pouting, screaming at
>>>unseen voices.]
>
>So... what's different?
>
>>> Mamiyanthy: Dammit... it's not fair... NOT FAIR! This is a sellout I
>say,
>>>a
>>>sellout! The entire 'Being Anthy' theme is absent from this movie... it's
>>>going
>>>by brand name... brand name! They slap the name of 'Being Anthy' on
>>>something,
>>>and everyone shuns it like it was 'Being Anthy'! Dammit...
>>>
>>
>>Geeze. You'd think it was friggin' Pokemon or something. 9_9
>
>or the black plague... or "Ishtar"
>
Gack!
>>>Creepy voice: Deeper... go deeper...
>>>
>>> Mamiyanthy: And...and... and you see, I have a think for
>cross-dressing.
>>>I
>>>really like it. A lot.
>>>
>>> Mikage: I understand. I suppose we have no choice but to go in the back
>>>room and dress each other in sexy lingerie.
>>>
>>> Mamiyanthy: Lucky! ^_^
>>>
>>
>>...kowai... x.x
>
>you're just saying that.
>
No...I *mean* that. o.o;;;
>>>[Suddenly, Mamiyanthy is whisked away by a sudden plot device.]
>>>
>>
>>Whoosh!
>>
>>> Mikage: Damn.
>>>
>>>[Scene: A bunch of blackboards with rose crests on them shift about and do
>>>strange things. After a while, they vanish, and Tenjou Utena sits at her
>>>desk.
>>>Shinohora Wakabanthy appears, and starts talking to her.]
>>>
>>
>>ShinoHORA? o.o;
>
>typo Mark... it's just a typo. We'll make it through this!
>
hehe...someone's been shopping at Typos R Us...
>>> Wakabanthy: How do you like our school?!?!?!?!?!
>>>
>>>Utena: If there are girls like you around, I think I'll enjoy it.
>>>
>>
>>Watch what you say, Tenjou-san. ShinoHARA might get a wee bit jealous...
>>
>>> [For no apparent reason, Wakabanthy jumps on Utena. The two fall out a
>>>window, where Juri and Miki are fencing.]
>>>
>>>[Scene: The Shadow Radio Wall. E-Ko and F-Ko sit over a table.]
>>>
>>> E-Ko: Hiiiiiii, MINNA!
>>>
>>>F-Ko: We're the new Ohtori Radio Superstars,
>>>
>>>E-Ko/F-Ko: E-ko and F-ko!
>>>
>>> E-ko: Now, you may wonder why, even though we're radio stars, we're
>still
>>>behind a shadow wall.
>>>
>>> F-ko: It's because we've got lots and lots of talent to do it all!
>>>
>>
>>[insert Kino Makoto reference here]
>>
>>>[The men in Sailormoon fukus all begin to snicker rudely.]
>>>
>>
>>...I smell bacon...
>
>gah.
>
Exactly.
>>> E-ko: And for those wondering what happened to those wonderfully
>talented
>>>Shadowgirls, A-ko and B-ko...
>>>
>>> F-ko: We turned them into cars and drove them away!
>>>
>>>E-ko: F-ko no baka! Don't spoil plot elements!
>>>
>>
>>What? No Akane Tendo references?
>
>None.
>
Damn! >_<
>>>F-ko: But I was just cleverly foreshadowing them... *whines*
>>>
>>>E-ko: It's a perfectly wonderful and happy away. Go glomp your best
>friends!
>>>^_^
>>>
>>>F-ko: But there's a chance of cross-dressing bishounen running around, and
>>>scattered showers as well.
>>>
>>>E-ko: But I just said it was sunny...
>>>
>>>F-ko: I don't care! I'm miserable, dammit! It's raining, and storming,
>and...
>>>
>>>E-Ko: Got dumped by your cross-dressing boyfriend?
>
>I should make a funny joke here... I will...
>
>F-ko: That's not it...
>
>E-ko: Crossdressing girlfriend?
>
>>>
>>>F-ko: I never had a chance...
>>>
>>>E-Ko: Well, outta time, so remember, as you chew on your tin can and draw
>>>pictures of bizarre phallic appearing anime mascots on your cross-dressing
>>>dead
>>>boyfriend's back, check to be making sure if he'll be flirting with his
>>>ex-girlfriend's bride while he's supposed to be in class tomorrow!
>>>
>>
>>Wow. Try saying that three times fast.
>
>You first.
>
No...*you* first.
>>>F-ko: o.0;;;
>>>
>>>Miki: I knew I'd lose, seeing how I'd never won before, but...
>>>Juri: Playing that horrid repetition of notes and sounds suits you much
>>>better.
>>>
>>
>>Since when does Miki play Britney Spears tunes??? o.o;;;
>>
>>> Wakabanthy: That's our Juri-sama, but everyone calls her the Prince.
>She
>>>drives me all the time... *Wakabanthy begins to mutter ecchi things.*
>>>
>>
>>...now THAT is kowai...
>
>ObRoshni: Is not... oooh the sweet yuri ~o~
>
ew? o.o?
>>> Utena: *Ahem*
>>>
>>> Wakabanthy: And that's Miki. He's being stalked by his obsessive little
>>>sister. She's always stalking him and hurting his girlfriends. That's why
>he
>>>doesn't have a girlfriend. She also likes to trim his eyebrows while nude.
>>>
>>
>>...wait. Who's nude? Kozue or Miki?
>
>Yes.
>
Umm...oh-kay... o.o;;;
>>> Utena: That's...
>>>
>>> [Utena catches a glimpse of Touga in a red-and-white Rose Bride outfit
>>>watching her from a window. The Sunlit Garden plays quietly in the
>>>background.]
>>>
>>> Utena: It's... it's him.
>>>
>>> [Utena jumps on Wakabanthy's head, and bounces up to the window.
>>>Wakabanthy
>>>is carried away by a sudden plot twist. ]
>>>
>>
>>Whoosh!
>
>Zoom!
>
>Whisk!
>
>Broom!
>
...duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-BAT-maaaaaaaan!
>>> Utena: Touga! Touga! Touga!
>>>
>>>[Utena runs past Suzuki, Yamada, and Tanaka, who are currently involved in
>an
>>>exciting game of twister whilst wearing Togas.]
>>>
>>
>>...ack. x.x
>
>and nothing else.
>
...ACK! X.X
>>> Utena: Tooouuugggaaaa! TOUGA!
>>>
>>>[As Utena runs down the hallway, Touga vanishes around the corner. She
>turns
>>>the corner, and he poses coolly at the next. She keeps going, and he
>vanishes
>>>about the next. Random events occur as Utena goes down the twisty hallway,
>>>but
>>>she persistently keeps going towards Touga.]
>>>
>>> Utena: Touga! Touugaaa!!
>>>
>>>Touga: Yes?
>>>
>>> Utena: What the HELL are you wearing?!!!!
>>>
>>>[Utena turns and walks away.]
>>>
>>> Touga: But it's kawaiii...
>>>
>>
>>Of course. If you're living on the planet Transsexual, in the galaxy of
>>Transylvania.
>
>Or you have fangirls.
>
Or both!
>>>[As Utena walks away, flowers begin talking to her, and one of them gives
>her
>>>a
>>>Rose Signet.]
>>>
>>>Utena: This is...
>>>
>>
>>...evidently the result of the magic mushrooms on that pizza I ate a little
>>while ago.
>>
>>>Utena: Oh well, I better take a walk for no apparent reason.
>>>
>>>[Scene: Utena wanders up to the top of the Duel Arena for no apparent
>reason.
>>>She does not notice the height, or the fact that there is absolutely
>nothing
>>>up
>>>there to see. She carries her Rose Signet in her hand for no apparent
>>>reason.]
>>>
>>
>>What? no AM version of "ZUM"?
>
>*thinks* Hmm... well a sections been cut out... so... and I don't remember
>personally... and it could be... yes... that author-sama doesn't wanna deal
>with
>it.
>
>
>Or it's in the next part... I forget these things.
>
Well, they say that the memory's always the first thing to go...
>>> Utena: My, my, I'm pretty far up.
>>>
>>
>>Gee. What gave ya THAT clue?
>
>All the people looking up her trouser leg?
>
Happosai: Look! White cotton panties!
Ataru: Really? Let me see!
>>>[On the far end of the platform, Anthy appears. Of course, nobody noticed
>her
>>>presence, but she's there. and has been there, watering roses.]
>>>
>>
>>Roses? In the Duel Arena?
>
>Yep. It's Both... well actually... this is the garden... think about if Utena
>had leapt down and faced Sai after the AnthySlap... this is like that... only
>the garden is flat... not a greenhouse.
>
K.
>>> Anthy: You're... stepping on the flowers.
>>> Utena: No I'm not.
>>>
>>> Anthy: Yes, you are! This whole arena is made up of flowers... you have
>>>no
>>>right to step on them! I water them, day and night, harvest them, and stab
>>>them
>>>into the chests of you idiot duelists and----
>>>
>>> Utena: You're stepping on them.
>>>
>>
>>Durr... 8B
>>
>>> [Saionji enters, wearing a Sailor Chibimoon fuku and carrying around a
>>>sword for no apparent reason.]
>>>
>>
>>OH MY GOD. o.O;;;;;;;;;;
>
>*Dios looks up and just quirks an eyebrow silently* *The Sunlight Garden...
>Raver mix plays*
>
>>> Saionji: You're... stepping on the flowers. And you're close to Anthy.
>>>Nobody's allowed to be close to her! She's mine, and mine alone! Come here
>>>Anthy. Oh yes, Anthy, your hair tastes so good. What, oh...
>>>
>>
>>...it tastes like chicken!
>
>if the chicken has been bathing in Pert Plus.
>
ew?
>>> Utena: Eh?
>>>
>>> Saionji: That ring... you're a Duelist?
>>>
>>> Utena: What is this? What does this ring mean?
>>>
>>> Saionji: You're up here, trampling my flowers, the heart and soul of my
>>>Bride and myself, and you don't even know what that ring means?!
>>>
>>> Utena: No. A flower gave it to me.
>>>
>>
>>Damn those magic mushrooms!
>
>and crying flowers... and cinematics in RPG's when you can't control the
>action... and man I really wanted to control Shinji in his wedding nights
>game...
>
o.O???
>>> Saionji: Well, actually, I don't know what it means either. All I know
>is
>>>that it gives me a good excuse to kick everyone's ass and chew on my
>>>beautiful
>>>Bride's hair.
>>>
>>
>>What the hell is Anthy's hair made of, anyway? Ramen???
>
>Sai has Touga's hair touch fetish... with that Saionji flare tossed on.
>
Yeeeah.
>>> Utena: You know you're stepping on the flowers, right?
>>>
>>> Saionji: I'm Saionji. I can do whatever I want. Now anyway, pull out
>your
>>>sword, I'm going to duel you.
>>>
>>
>>Saionji no ecchi! [thwap]
>
>Be hard for Sai to reach the rose unless he jumped then though...
>
>>> Utena: I didn't bring one.
>>>
>>> Saionji: Too bad.......
>>>
>>> Utena: But wait! What's this? Could it be that someone left a broom
>just
>>>sitting about for me to use?!
>>>
>>
>>...and so, Saionji finally has that broom pulled from out of his bum. o.o;
>
>sadly... no.
>
Aww! >_<
Whatever the hell *that* means...
>>>Wakabanthy: No...
>>>
>>>[Utena digs through Wakaba's Secret Stash of Sweets until she finds it...]
>>>
>>>Wakabanthy: That's mine! ^_^ Mine mine mine mine mine... ^_^
>>>
>>
>>...not anymore, hun.
>
>Now it belongs to all the children of the world...
>
hehehe
>>>Utena: The Great Big Pixi Stick of Wakaba is mine now!
>>>
>>>"The eternal miracle Juri doesn't believe in,
>>>The eternal god I annoy,
>>>Ah, neverending voices from the Dark Ages,
>>>Be quiet in me!"
>>>
>>>[Utena charges towards Saionji, beating at his brooch with her big stick.]
>>>
>>>Saionji: Now, prepare yourself!
>>>
>>>Utena: That's a very cheasy old school RPG cliche... ooh!
>>>
>>> [Saionji slashes Utena's shirt open, revealing her great talent.]
>>>
>>
>>Utena is really Makoto Kino??? Kick ASS!!! 8D...
>
>more like Haruka here... really packed them in.
>
hehe ... "Worldo...Shaking!"
>>>"Plague rats eating me inside
>>>Ah, Be quiet,
>>>Neverending voices from the Middle Ages!"
>>>
>>>Saionji: FAN SERVICE!
>>>
>>
>>Hey! You ain't Misato! 8O
>
>No kidding no da.
>
Geeze...can't Chichiri ever say "no shit"?
Still...yick.
>>> Wakabanthy: U-Ten-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
>>>
>>>[Wakabanthy glomps Utena, sending the two flying over the cliff. For no
>>>apparent reason, Wakabanthy becomes Anthy as they fly through the air, with
>>>the
>>>greatest of ease!]
>>>
>>>"The Science of Therapy,
>>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
>>>
>>> Utena: We're falling.
>>>
>>> Anthy: Then... let's.... kiss?
>>> Utena: Why?
>>>
>>
>>Nothing else to do, other than fallandfalland...
>
>Butthead: Lesbians are cool.
>
Beavis: heheheh---Yeah!
>>>"The Underrated Art of Macaroni Sculptures,
>>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
>>>
>>>[Utena and Anthy envelope each other with a passionate kiss.]
>>>
>>
>>Ecchi-Mark: Woo-hoo! Hot lesbo action!
>>
>>Normal-Mark: Hush, you!
>
>I think you were better in ecchi mode. *sees Akio nodding* Who asked you Pimp
>Master of a CAR!
>
Akio: vroom?
>>> Dub Voiceover: We're cousins... we have to save the world from meanies!
>>>
>>>[Utena's outfit suddenly becomes a Duelist uniform, and her hair suddenly
>>>grows
>>>from nowhere.]
>>>
>>>Utena: What just happened?
>>>
>>
>>Acid flashback. It'll pass.
>
>Or the movie will continue... hmm... guess the trip won't pass... enjoy the
>M.C.Echer Campus.
>
With the sister building on the WPI campus...
>>>"An aural/psychal Annoyance,
>>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
>>>
>>>[Anthy is now wearing the Rose Bride uniform. Anthy leans back, and a sword
>>>pops out of her chest. Utena walks over and yanks it out.]
>>>
>>>Anthy / Utena: THE POWER TO REVOLUTIONIZE THE WORLD!!!
>>>
>>> Utena: This is all surreal and cool and all, but we're still falling.
>>>
>>
>>Really? What gave you *that* idea?
>
>the draft.
>
>Havoc: That was not because of the fall.
>
T_T?
>>>[Somehow, Utena lands on Anthy's dress and flies at Saionji, slashing his
>>>brooch and rose of his chest. His Chibimoon uniform flies off, and he falls
>>>in
>>>his schoolgirl uniform. His eyes look wide and bloodshot.]
>>>
>>> Saionji: Need... sleep...
>>>
>>
>>That's what happens when you go on a four-day caffiene bender.
>
>or animethons...
>
...or both! 8D
>>>"Make them stop talking,
>>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head!"
>>>
>>>[Bells toll as Utena dramatically stands facing the right.]
>>>
>>> Utena: This is really dramatic.
>>>Mamiyanthy: *smirks*
>>>
>>> [The scene dramatically fades out.]
>>>
>>>Anthy: Dammit... the fighting wrecked the whole damn garden. What the hell
>is
>>>with these idiots? If they want somewhere to fight, why don't they make a
>big
>>>SILVER arena? But nooo... 'Anthy, take care of roses and fill this whole
>area
>>>with them' DAMN this pisses me off!
>>>
>>
>>Wow. How OOC can you get?
>
>Actually... Movie Anthy is not quite the same as the one you are used to.
>Like
>Rei Ayanami from the main of Eva... and Rei Ayanami from the alternate
>timeline
>with the Boloney Pony line.
>
[Note to self: see Utena movie ... and the Eva series.]
Go read "No Cure For Cancer". Or listen to the album. Or rent the video. Either
way, it's funny as hell.
>>>Akio: Hey, aren't you all listening to me?
>>>
>>
>>...evidently not.
>
>Akio: At least they are looking. *tou's over a car or two with his shirt
>open*
>
TOGGG!
>>>Touga: You know, I was sold as a child.
>>>
>>>Shiori: I used to be a naked cabbage fairy.
>>>
>>>Touga: My father liked my hair long.
>>>
>>>Shiori: I once had a prince.
>>>
>>>Touga: My foster father and I went to the End of the World a few times.
>>>
>>>Shiori: I know. I was flying around with all my naked cabbage fairy friends
>>>watching you.
>>>
>>>Touga: We shagged rotten! Yeah baby, yeah!
>>>
>>
>>You know ... that explained SO much... -_-;
>
>yep.
>
>>>[Scene: Miki's room. He and Kozue bathe together. Kozue is trimming is
>>>eyebrows.]
>>>
>>> Miki: You know, Kozue, we can't go to the End of the World anymore.
>>>
>>>Kozue: Why not?! WHY?! WHY?!
>>>
>>> Miki: And since you burned our 'Garden' down, we can't go there either.
>>>
>>>Kozue: Traitor!
>>>
>>> [Kozue pulls out a gunblade and presses it to Miki's throat, water
>>>flooding
>>>the bathroom. Touga's chick looks cute nearby.]
>>>
>>>OnsenMark: o.0;;;
>>>
>>
>>Hey! Don't second-guess me! 8O
>
>What? Shiori... naked... looking cute... aren't most you SDA's going wigout
>on
>that?
>
No. The "gunblade" thing. Don't ask.
>>> [Scene: Utena's bedroom. She is getting ready to go to bed.]
>>>
>>>Utena: La la la, things today were strange. Oh well, I think I'll sleep
>now.
>>>
>>>[Someone knocks on the door.]
>>>
>>> Utena: Who is it?
>>>
>>>Anthy: It's me, Anthy Himemiya!
>>>
>>> [Utena opens the door.]
>>>
>>>Wakabanthy: U-TEN-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
>>>
>>>[Wakabanthy glomps Utena, sending her flying towards the bed.]
>>>
>>>Mamiyanthy: I suppose I have no choice but to 'revolutionize your world'.
>>
>>Don't you mean "rock yo' world"?
>
>same thing.
>
Point.
Ah, this must be from the "ecchi" cut...
>>>[Scene: Miki and Juri are walking through a big, dark, and creepy garage.]
>>>
>>>Juri: The End of the World lies before us if we keep going down this path.
>>>
>>>Miki: Then why do we want to go?
>>
>>[Juri]: So I don't have to pay any more for parking fees...
>>
>>>Juri: You don't want to go to the End of the World with me?
>>>
>>>[Dios drives by on a carousel, sipping a cool, refreshing glass of Red Wine
>>>with a kiddy-juice straw.]
>>>
>>>Juri: Who's that?
>>>
>>
>>God?
>
>Iehovah?
>
...Belldandy? o.o
...naah.
>>>Miki: No idea. He looks really weird, though.
>>>
>>>Juri: What's with that tacky outfit, anyway?
>>
>>Cosplay.
>>
>>>Miki: That horse is sexy.
>>
>>O.o;;;;;;;;; EEEEEEW!
>
>Elios: Better you than me 0.o
>
>Dios's Horse: Hey Miki he's got a horn... better than me yes yes.
>
>Elios: You must be Akio's horse to be so evil.
>
>>>[ Kozue's lawnmower goes by on a lift, as Touga's cute little ducky/chick
>is
>>>seen lying bloody on the ground.]
>>>
>>>Juri: Too bad you're not.
>>>
>>>Miki: What?!
>>>
>>>Juri: Even though we're alone, in the dark, halfway on the road to the End
>of
>>>the World, there is no way in hell you're sexy!
>>>
>>>Miki: But you like girls... and I'm a real girly guy!
>>>
>>>[Scene: Ohtori Academy Movie Akio is sticking a paperclip up his nose,
>>>trying
>>>to sneeze.]
>>>
>>
>>And, this accomplishes...?
>
>he's trying to make bubbles on the paperclip. like what you do with bubble
>solution.
>
umm...yeeeeah. o.o;
shush, Goat.
>>>Shiori: Juri... must suffer.
>>
>>And for that...you should die. >_< Kill the Goat!
>>
>>...why IS Shiori called a "goat", anyway???
>
>She gloats... she's a gloating goat?
>
Oh-kay.
Eldrick Tobin, Master of Perversion
locu...@aol.combatrock (OnsenMark), let forth a throaty,"Eureka!" they
followed their Joyful Noise with:
>In article <dshrns80775n0ogbk...@4ax.com>, "Eldrick Tobin, Master
>of Perversion" <eld...@mindless.com> writes:
>
>>While Eldrick procrastinates about stuff and junk and stuff,
>>locu...@aol.combatrock (OnsenMark), let forth a throaty,"Eureka!" they
>>followed their Joyful Noise with:
>>
>>>In article <20000721211538...@ng-fa1.aol.com>,
>>>v9cyb...@aol.comthyself (wonkycyber and his Gekigan Swordo) writes:
>>>
>>>>OK. I FINALLY got this finished. The first half of AM Being Anthy, entitled
>>>>'Me, Myself, and Anthy.' I plan on doing part two, releasing that, doing a
>>>>special edition of Part I and II together, THEN I'll work on the series.
>>^^;;
>>>>
>>>>Enjoy, please. And comment on it, dammit! Remember, line-by-line comments,
>>>>Onsenmark style, are your friends. ^_^ And if it sucks, TELL ME IMMEDIATELY
>>>>SO
>>>>I CAN REMEDY IT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
>>>>
>>>
>>>Hey! I'm famous now! 8D
>>>
>>>And if this sucked, then you'd be Dr. Thinker. But you're not. o.o;
>>
>>and there was much rejoicing.
>>
>
>yay.
*banner waving*
>>>>Those unfamiliar with 'Being Anthy' should check with it on Deja. It may or
>>>>may
>>>>not be worth the search, but some people like it, so I'm gonna keep doing
>>it.
>>>>
>>>>OK. Enjoy, please. The Adolescence Mokushiroku Edition of the comedy
>>>>fanspamfic, Being Anthy Himemiya... *drumroll please...*
>>>>
>>>
>>>[insert 20th Century Frog fanfare here]
>>
>>-.-
>>
>
>It was from an episode of "Monty Python".
oh I know.
>>>>"Under the signs of love, courage, and hope, a Revolution will fail.
>>>>But if it is called by the Darkness..."
>>>>
>>>>Shoujo Kakkumei Utena
>>>>"Being Anthy Himemiya"
>>>>
>>>>ADOLESCENCE MOKUSHIROKU EDITION
>>>>"Me, Myself, and Anthy" Part I
>>>>
>>>> [Scene: Black Rose Elevator. Mamiyanthy is seen pouting, screaming at
>>>>unseen voices.]
>>
>>So... what's different?
>>
>>>> Mamiyanthy: Dammit... it's not fair... NOT FAIR! This is a sellout I
>>say,
>>>>a
>>>>sellout! The entire 'Being Anthy' theme is absent from this movie... it's
>>>>going
>>>>by brand name... brand name! They slap the name of 'Being Anthy' on
>>>>something,
>>>>and everyone shuns it like it was 'Being Anthy'! Dammit...
>>>>
>>>
>>>Geeze. You'd think it was friggin' Pokemon or something. 9_9
>>
>>or the black plague... or "Ishtar"
>>
>
>Gack!
you see my point.
>>>>Creepy voice: Deeper... go deeper...
>>>>
>>>> Mamiyanthy: And...and... and you see, I have a think for
>>cross-dressing.
>>>>I
>>>>really like it. A lot.
>>>>
>>>> Mikage: I understand. I suppose we have no choice but to go in the back
>>>>room and dress each other in sexy lingerie.
>>>>
>>>> Mamiyanthy: Lucky! ^_^
>>>>
>>>
>>>...kowai... x.x
>>
>>you're just saying that.
>>
>
>No...I *mean* that. o.o;;;
Uh huh.
>>>>[Suddenly, Mamiyanthy is whisked away by a sudden plot device.]
>>>>
>>>
>>>Whoosh!
>>>
>>>> Mikage: Damn.
>>>>
>>>>[Scene: A bunch of blackboards with rose crests on them shift about and do
>>>>strange things. After a while, they vanish, and Tenjou Utena sits at her
>>>>desk.
>>>>Shinohora Wakabanthy appears, and starts talking to her.]
>>>>
>>>
>>>ShinoHORA? o.o;
>>
>>typo Mark... it's just a typo. We'll make it through this!
>>
>
>hehe...someone's been shopping at Typos R Us...
The Typo Fairy is a cruel cold calculating ^%$&*^*%%
TypoFairy: How can you believe such things when I'm so cute and kawaii ^-^
*points to a certain Utena cast member* Next we know you'll own a car just like
theirs.
Malhificion: I could see that.
>.< tag team.
>>>> Wakabanthy: How do you like our school?!?!?!?!?!
>>>>
>>>>Utena: If there are girls like you around, I think I'll enjoy it.
>>>>
>>>
>>>Watch what you say, Tenjou-san. ShinoHARA might get a wee bit jealous...
>>>
>>>> [For no apparent reason, Wakabanthy jumps on Utena. The two fall out a
>>>>window, where Juri and Miki are fencing.]
>>>>
>>>>[Scene: The Shadow Radio Wall. E-Ko and F-Ko sit over a table.]
>>>>
>>>> E-Ko: Hiiiiiii, MINNA!
>>>>
>>>>F-Ko: We're the new Ohtori Radio Superstars,
>>>>
>>>>E-Ko/F-Ko: E-ko and F-ko!
>>>>
>>>> E-ko: Now, you may wonder why, even though we're radio stars, we're
>>still
>>>>behind a shadow wall.
>>>>
>>>> F-ko: It's because we've got lots and lots of talent to do it all!
>>>>
>>>
>>>[insert Kino Makoto reference here]
>>>
>>>>[The men in Sailormoon fukus all begin to snicker rudely.]
>>>>
>>>
>>>...I smell bacon...
>>
>>gah.
>>
>
>Exactly.
I don't mind that the guy is in a fuku... but... Sailor BACON!?
>>>> E-ko: And for those wondering what happened to those wonderfully
>>talented
>>>>Shadowgirls, A-ko and B-ko...
>>>>
>>>> F-ko: We turned them into cars and drove them away!
>>>>
>>>>E-ko: F-ko no baka! Don't spoil plot elements!
>>>>
>>>
>>>What? No Akane Tendo references?
>>
>>None.
>>
>
>Damn! >_<
Hey look a handkerchief with Wakaba written on it
ObMark: Oooh *.*
distraction... check.
>>>>F-ko: But I was just cleverly foreshadowing them... *whines*
>>>>
>>>>E-ko: It's a perfectly wonderful and happy away. Go glomp your best
>>friends!
>>>>^_^
>>>>
>>>>F-ko: But there's a chance of cross-dressing bishounen running around, and
>>>>scattered showers as well.
>>>>
>>>>E-ko: But I just said it was sunny...
>>>>
>>>>F-ko: I don't care! I'm miserable, dammit! It's raining, and storming,
>>and...
>>>>
>>>>E-Ko: Got dumped by your cross-dressing boyfriend?
>>
>>I should make a funny joke here... I will...
>>
>>F-ko: That's not it...
>>
>>E-ko: Crossdressing girlfriend?
>>
>>>>
>>>>F-ko: I never had a chance...
>>>>
>>>>E-Ko: Well, outta time, so remember, as you chew on your tin can and draw
>>>>pictures of bizarre phallic appearing anime mascots on your cross-dressing
>>>>dead
>>>>boyfriend's back, check to be making sure if he'll be flirting with his
>>>>ex-girlfriend's bride while he's supposed to be in class tomorrow!
>>>>
>>>
>>>Wow. Try saying that three times fast.
>>
>>You first.
>>
>
>No...*you* first.
I never got the hang of "three times fast". I always just go exponential...
which is not what the rules dictate.
>>>>F-ko: o.0;;;
>>>>
>>>>Miki: I knew I'd lose, seeing how I'd never won before, but...
>>>>Juri: Playing that horrid repetition of notes and sounds suits you much
>>>>better.
>>>>
>>>
>>>Since when does Miki play Britney Spears tunes??? o.o;;;
>>>
>>>> Wakabanthy: That's our Juri-sama, but everyone calls her the Prince.
>>She
>>>>drives me all the time... *Wakabanthy begins to mutter ecchi things.*
>>>>
>>>
>>>...now THAT is kowai...
>>
>>ObRoshni: Is not... oooh the sweet yuri ~o~
>>
>
>ew? o.o?
Hmm? Could be worse than Wakaba/Juri... could be Tanaka/Juri... or
Tanaka/Yamada/Suzuki
Note the lack of girls and the lack of good looks in the bunch.
This is assuming they aren't already an item.
>>>> Utena: *Ahem*
>>>>
>>>> Wakabanthy: And that's Miki. He's being stalked by his obsessive little
>>>>sister. She's always stalking him and hurting his girlfriends. That's why
>>he
>>>>doesn't have a girlfriend. She also likes to trim his eyebrows while nude.
>>>>
>>>
>>>...wait. Who's nude? Kozue or Miki?
>>
>>Yes.
>>
>
>Umm...oh-kay... o.o;;;
bingo.
>>>> Utena: That's...
>>>>
>>>> [Utena catches a glimpse of Touga in a red-and-white Rose Bride outfit
>>>>watching her from a window. The Sunlit Garden plays quietly in the
>>>>background.]
>>>>
>>>> Utena: It's... it's him.
>>>>
>>>> [Utena jumps on Wakabanthy's head, and bounces up to the window.
>>>>Wakabanthy
>>>>is carried away by a sudden plot twist. ]
>>>>
>>>
>>>Whoosh!
>>
>>Zoom!
>>
>>Whisk!
>>
>>Broom!
>>
>
>...duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-BAT-maaaaaaaan!
Uh huh. *wasn't punning Batman*
>>>> Utena: Touga! Touga! Touga!
>>>>
>>>>[Utena runs past Suzuki, Yamada, and Tanaka, who are currently involved in
>>an
>>>>exciting game of twister whilst wearing Togas.]
>>>>
>>>
>>>...ack. x.x
>>
>>and nothing else.
>>
>
>...ACK! X.X
save big grins.
>>>> Utena: Tooouuugggaaaa! TOUGA!
>>>>
>>>>[As Utena runs down the hallway, Touga vanishes around the corner. She
>>turns
>>>>the corner, and he poses coolly at the next. She keeps going, and he
>>vanishes
>>>>about the next. Random events occur as Utena goes down the twisty hallway,
>>>>but
>>>>she persistently keeps going towards Touga.]
>>>>
>>>> Utena: Touga! Touugaaa!!
>>>>
>>>>Touga: Yes?
>>>>
>>>> Utena: What the HELL are you wearing?!!!!
>>>>
>>>>[Utena turns and walks away.]
>>>>
>>>> Touga: But it's kawaiii...
>>>>
>>>
>>>Of course. If you're living on the planet Transsexual, in the galaxy of
>>>Transylvania.
>>
>>Or you have fangirls.
>>
>
>Or both!
I suppose.
>>>>[As Utena walks away, flowers begin talking to her, and one of them gives
>>her
>>>>a
>>>>Rose Signet.]
>>>>
>>>>Utena: This is...
>>>>
>>>
>>>...evidently the result of the magic mushrooms on that pizza I ate a little
>>>while ago.
>>>
>>>>Utena: Oh well, I better take a walk for no apparent reason.
>>>>
>>>>[Scene: Utena wanders up to the top of the Duel Arena for no apparent
>>reason.
>>>>She does not notice the height, or the fact that there is absolutely
>>nothing
>>>>up
>>>>there to see. She carries her Rose Signet in her hand for no apparent
>>>>reason.]
>>>>
>>>
>>>What? no AM version of "ZUM"?
>>
>>*thinks* Hmm... well a sections been cut out... so... and I don't remember
>>personally... and it could be... yes... that author-sama doesn't wanna deal
>>with
>>it.
>>
>>
>>Or it's in the next part... I forget these things.
>>
>
>Well, they say that the memory's always the first thing to go...
My body beat my memory by about 10 years.
>>>> Utena: My, my, I'm pretty far up.
>>>>
>>>
>>>Gee. What gave ya THAT clue?
>>
>>All the people looking up her trouser leg?
>>
>
>Happosai: Look! White cotton panties!
>
>Ataru: Really? Let me see!
*and Ataru fails miserably... not that Happosai notices or cares*
OOT: Hmm maybe I should run to the house and turn off my pc...
>>>>[On the far end of the platform, Anthy appears. Of course, nobody noticed
>>her
>>>>presence, but she's there. and has been there, watering roses.]
>>>>
>>>
>>>Roses? In the Duel Arena?
>>
>>Yep. It's Both... well actually... this is the garden... think about if Utena
>>had leapt down and faced Sai after the AnthySlap... this is like that... only
>>the garden is flat... not a greenhouse.
>>
>
>K.
Look for the trailer... it's around...
>>>> Anthy: You're... stepping on the flowers.
>>>> Utena: No I'm not.
>>>>
>>>> Anthy: Yes, you are! This whole arena is made up of flowers... you have
>>>>no
>>>>right to step on them! I water them, day and night, harvest them, and stab
>>>>them
>>>>into the chests of you idiot duelists and----
>>>>
>>>> Utena: You're stepping on them.
>>>>
>>>
>>>Durr... 8B
>>>
>>>> [Saionji enters, wearing a Sailor Chibimoon fuku and carrying around a
>>>>sword for no apparent reason.]
>>>>
>>>
>>>OH MY GOD. o.O;;;;;;;;;;
>>
>>*Dios looks up and just quirks an eyebrow silently* *The Sunlight Garden...
>>Raver mix plays*
>>
>>>> Saionji: You're... stepping on the flowers. And you're close to Anthy.
>>>>Nobody's allowed to be close to her! She's mine, and mine alone! Come here
>>>>Anthy. Oh yes, Anthy, your hair tastes so good. What, oh...
>>>>
>>>
>>>...it tastes like chicken!
>>
>>if the chicken has been bathing in Pert Plus.
>>
>
>ew?
what? Have you seen Movie Anthy's hair? Man... wish my hair was that healthy.
Even if it had to have that color to be so.
>>>> Utena: Eh?
>>>>
>>>> Saionji: That ring... you're a Duelist?
>>>>
>>>> Utena: What is this? What does this ring mean?
>>>>
>>>> Saionji: You're up here, trampling my flowers, the heart and soul of my
>>>>Bride and myself, and you don't even know what that ring means?!
>>>>
>>>> Utena: No. A flower gave it to me.
>>>>
>>>
>>>Damn those magic mushrooms!
>>
>>and crying flowers... and cinematics in RPG's when you can't control the
>>action... and man I really wanted to control Shinji in his wedding nights
>>game...
>>
>
>o.O???
gotcha.
>>>> Saionji: Well, actually, I don't know what it means either. All I know
>>is
>>>>that it gives me a good excuse to kick everyone's ass and chew on my
>>>>beautiful
>>>>Bride's hair.
>>>>
>>>
>>>What the hell is Anthy's hair made of, anyway? Ramen???
>>
>>Sai has Touga's hair touch fetish... with that Saionji flare tossed on.
>>
>
>Yeeeah.
I've mentioned it before... everyone tossed their transient traits into a bag...
and the bag was passed around the smaller cast till nearly everything was on
someone new.
>>>> Utena: You know you're stepping on the flowers, right?
>>>>
>>>> Saionji: I'm Saionji. I can do whatever I want. Now anyway, pull out
>>your
>>>>sword, I'm going to duel you.
>>>>
>>>
>>>Saionji no ecchi! [thwap]
>>
>>Be hard for Sai to reach the rose unless he jumped then though...
>>
>>>> Utena: I didn't bring one.
>>>>
>>>> Saionji: Too bad.......
>>>>
>>>> Utena: But wait! What's this? Could it be that someone left a broom
>>just
>>>>sitting about for me to use?!
>>>>
>>>
>>>...and so, Saionji finally has that broom pulled from out of his bum. o.o;
>>
>>sadly... no.
>>
>
>Aww! >_<
What you'd like to WATCH that happen?
that it is the work of genius Č.Č *resumes listening to it play in his head* ~o~
>>>>Wakabanthy: No...
>>>>
>>>>[Utena digs through Wakaba's Secret Stash of Sweets until she finds it...]
>>>>
>>>>Wakabanthy: That's mine! ^_^ Mine mine mine mine mine... ^_^
>>>>
>>>
>>>...not anymore, hun.
>>
>>Now it belongs to all the children of the world...
>>
>
>hehehe
and they can't handle it.
>>>>Utena: The Great Big Pixi Stick of Wakaba is mine now!
>>>>
>>>>"The eternal miracle Juri doesn't believe in,
>>>>The eternal god I annoy,
>>>>Ah, neverending voices from the Dark Ages,
>>>>Be quiet in me!"
>>>>
>>>>[Utena charges towards Saionji, beating at his brooch with her big stick.]
>>>>
>>>>Saionji: Now, prepare yourself!
>>>>
>>>>Utena: That's a very cheasy old school RPG cliche... ooh!
>>>>
>>>> [Saionji slashes Utena's shirt open, revealing her great talent.]
>>>>
>>>
>>>Utena is really Makoto Kino??? Kick ASS!!! 8D...
>>
>>more like Haruka here... really packed them in.
>>
>
>hehe ... "Worldo...Shaking!"
hehe
>>>>"Plague rats eating me inside
>>>>Ah, Be quiet,
>>>>Neverending voices from the Middle Ages!"
>>>>
>>>>Saionji: FAN SERVICE!
>>>>
>>>
>>>Hey! You ain't Misato! 8O
>>
>>No kidding no da.
>>
>
>Geeze...can't Chichiri ever say "no shit"?
nope.
*bap* Play nice.
>>>> Wakabanthy: U-Ten-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
>>>>
>>>>[Wakabanthy glomps Utena, sending the two flying over the cliff. For no
>>>>apparent reason, Wakabanthy becomes Anthy as they fly through the air, with
>>>>the
>>>>greatest of ease!]
>>>>
>>>>"The Science of Therapy,
>>>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
>>>>
>>>> Utena: We're falling.
>>>>
>>>> Anthy: Then... let's.... kiss?
>>>> Utena: Why?
>>>>
>>>
>>>Nothing else to do, other than fallandfalland...
>>
>>Butthead: Lesbians are cool.
>>
>
>Beavis: heheheh---Yeah!
>
>>>>"The Underrated Art of Macaroni Sculptures,
>>>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
>>>>
>>>>[Utena and Anthy envelope each other with a passionate kiss.]
>>>>
>>>
>>>Ecchi-Mark: Woo-hoo! Hot lesbo action!
>>>
>>>Normal-Mark: Hush, you!
>>
>>I think you were better in ecchi mode. *sees Akio nodding* Who asked you Pimp
>>Master of a CAR!
>>
>
>Akio: vroom?
Don't you mean... Tou!
>>>> Dub Voiceover: We're cousins... we have to save the world from meanies!
>>>>
>>>>[Utena's outfit suddenly becomes a Duelist uniform, and her hair suddenly
>>>>grows
>>>>from nowhere.]
>>>>
>>>>Utena: What just happened?
>>>>
>>>
>>>Acid flashback. It'll pass.
>>
>>Or the movie will continue... hmm... guess the trip won't pass... enjoy the
>>M.C.Echer Campus.
>>
>
>With the sister building on the WPI campus...
^-^??
>>>>"An aural/psychal Annoyance,
>>>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head."
>>>>
>>>>[Anthy is now wearing the Rose Bride uniform. Anthy leans back, and a sword
>>>>pops out of her chest. Utena walks over and yanks it out.]
>>>>
>>>>Anthy / Utena: THE POWER TO REVOLUTIONIZE THE WORLD!!!
>>>>
>>>> Utena: This is all surreal and cool and all, but we're still falling.
>>>>
>>>
>>>Really? What gave you *that* idea?
>>
>>the draft.
>>
>>Havoc: That was not because of the fall.
>>
>
>T_T?
Havoc: Hotcha ^-^|/ *holding up Utena and Anthy's panties*
>>>>[Somehow, Utena lands on Anthy's dress and flies at Saionji, slashing his
>>>>brooch and rose of his chest. His Chibimoon uniform flies off, and he falls
>>>>in
>>>>his schoolgirl uniform. His eyes look wide and bloodshot.]
>>>>
>>>> Saionji: Need... sleep...
>>>>
>>>
>>>That's what happens when you go on a four-day caffiene bender.
>>
>>or animethons...
>>
>
>...or both! 8D
you enjoy the caffiene... I'll enjoy the anime.
>>>>"Make them stop talking,
>>>>I hear the Dark Ages within my head!"
>>>>
>>>>[Bells toll as Utena dramatically stands facing the right.]
>>>>
>>>> Utena: This is really dramatic.
>>>>Mamiyanthy: *smirks*
>>>>
>>>> [The scene dramatically fades out.]
>>>>
>>>>Anthy: Dammit... the fighting wrecked the whole damn garden. What the hell
>>is
>>>>with these idiots? If they want somewhere to fight, why don't they make a
>>big
>>>>SILVER arena? But nooo... 'Anthy, take care of roses and fill this whole
>>area
>>>>with them' DAMN this pisses me off!
>>>>
>>>
>>>Wow. How OOC can you get?
>>
>>Actually... Movie Anthy is not quite the same as the one you are used to.
>>Like
>>Rei Ayanami from the main of Eva... and Rei Ayanami from the alternate
>>timeline
>>with the Boloney Pony line.
>>
>
>[Note to self: see Utena movie ... and the Eva series.]
Lessee... like the difference between... Mizuno... and... Minako.
That should be weird enough yet understated passably.
Akio: Ah yes... I see. But it ... fits better... with Touga.
A little of that I know what I need to know power mixed with personal prejudice?
Akio: *goes off on something unrelated*
>>>>Akio: Hey, aren't you all listening to me?
>>>>
>>>
>>>...evidently not.
>>
>>Akio: At least they are looking. *tou's over a car or two with his shirt
>>open*
>>
>
>TOGGG!
Akio: No... Tou!
With my knowledge of Utena... FF8 and The movie. I don't see the problem.
Akio: Who's being mysterious now?
*Dios's patented Glare*
>>>> [Scene: Utena's bedroom. She is getting ready to go to bed.]
>>>>
>>>>Utena: La la la, things today were strange. Oh well, I think I'll sleep
>>now.
>>>>
>>>>[Someone knocks on the door.]
>>>>
>>>> Utena: Who is it?
>>>>
>>>>Anthy: It's me, Anthy Himemiya!
>>>>
>>>> [Utena opens the door.]
>>>>
>>>>Wakabanthy: U-TEN-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
>>>>
>>>>[Wakabanthy glomps Utena, sending her flying towards the bed.]
>>>>
>>>>Mamiyanthy: I suppose I have no choice but to 'revolutionize your world'.
>>>
>>>Don't you mean "rock yo' world"?
>>
>>same thing.
>>
>
>Point.
^-^|/
Hai "Director is Lonely" Cut hai hai.
>>>>[Scene: Miki and Juri are walking through a big, dark, and creepy garage.]
>>>>
>>>>Juri: The End of the World lies before us if we keep going down this path.
>>>>
>>>>Miki: Then why do we want to go?
>>>
>>>[Juri]: So I don't have to pay any more for parking fees...
>>>
>>>>Juri: You don't want to go to the End of the World with me?
>>>>
>>>>[Dios drives by on a carousel, sipping a cool, refreshing glass of Red Wine
>>>>with a kiddy-juice straw.]
>>>>
>>>>Juri: Who's that?
>>>>
>>>
>>>God?
>>
>>Iehovah?
>>
>
>...Belldandy? o.o
>
>...naah.
Zeus?
>>>>Miki: No idea. He looks really weird, though.
>>>>
>>>>Juri: What's with that tacky outfit, anyway?
>>>
>>>Cosplay.
>>>
>>>>Miki: That horse is sexy.
>>>
>>>O.o;;;;;;;;; EEEEEEW!
>>
>>Elios: Better you than me 0.o
>>
>>Dios's Horse: Hey Miki he's got a horn... better than me yes yes.
>>
>>Elios: You must be Akio's horse to be so evil.
>>
>>>>[ Kozue's lawnmower goes by on a lift, as Touga's cute little ducky/chick
>>is
>>>>seen lying bloody on the ground.]
>>>>
>>>>Juri: Too bad you're not.
>>>>
>>>>Miki: What?!
>>>>
>>>>Juri: Even though we're alone, in the dark, halfway on the road to the End
>>of
>>>>the World, there is no way in hell you're sexy!
>>>>
>>>>Miki: But you like girls... and I'm a real girly guy!
>>>>
>>>>[Scene: Ohtori Academy Movie Akio is sticking a paperclip up his nose,
>>>>trying
>>>>to sneeze.]
>>>>
>>>
>>>And, this accomplishes...?
>>
>>he's trying to make bubbles on the paperclip. like what you do with bubble
>>solution.
>>
>
>umm...yeeeeah. o.o;
WITH SNOT... nice image neh?
Shiori: You ... baa.. shush... baaa. Nothing to do with me baaaa.
>>>>Shiori: Juri... must suffer.
>>>
>>>And for that...you should die. >_< Kill the Goat!
>>>
>>>...why IS Shiori called a "goat", anyway???
>>
>>She gloats... she's a gloating goat?
>>
>
>Oh-kay.
well the originator has forgotten... but it fits... she gloats ... reveling in
the power she holds over Juri -while at the same time mostly disgusted.
At least so she says... she probably has a Juri Shrine...
Shiori: I do not... baaa... you're making that up... baa... I won't stand for
this baaaa.
[Yes I intend to run the "hey what if it's had been a Dior Goat Bell for Anthy's
Goat Shiori" bit into the ground till the universe is paste and has no choice
but to revolutionize itself. Afterall the way before it has been prepared. And
<that path> comes but once... <it should> be steadfast. [Guess the paraphrase!]]
>>>>Akio: Bang bang... on the door, BABY!
>>>>
>>>>Yes, 'Love Shack' DOES replace Toki Ni Aiwa. No translation ANYWHERE. v.v;;
>>>
>>>Besides. It wouldn't be as ska-rewie...
>>
>>hehe
--
Eldrick Tobin - Kiss worthiness of sig pending.
They say you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.
I hope I make a great omelette because 2000 is trying to crack me.